Jim Norton & Sam Roberts: Mark Normand

i know whoa mark norman you're joining us you're right that was a stupid thing i just said yeah oh you've been here yet did you go to the uh the og studio yeah that's hilarious this is weird yeah we like this better though you get used to it fast all right i prefer it yeah we were just talking about the captain joining twitter derek jeter's on twitter oh yeah for the first time i used to bang a gal who eventually revealed she used to [ __ ] jeter hey oh nice she said he was huge good for jeter slugger so you didn't like that that you were there that you were you were with somebody that had been with derek jeter wow i'm the equipment guy you know i'm a ball boy compared to this dude he's a he's a man he's a half what the [ __ ] was that all of troy's equipment just coming just it was the ghost of opie but uh yeah yeah that was that was boring but he gives you a care package when he uh did she get the basket joe she got the basket what's in the carapace i've heard of it it's roses and champagne and chocolates and some cheeses it's all like high-end [ __ ] that's nice yeah mark norman mark norman came in and pushed all your [ __ ] off yeah i didn't touch it yes it actually just fell it just randomly fell people complain about the gift basket but i think it's a nice thing to do here's a load have some flowers some chocolates you get to bang a celebrity and you get a bunch of free [ __ ] come on is there a ball in there a sign ball uh i don't know i don't know if he's passing out those signed balls like that that's uh yeah yeah i don't know if a girl would care like what am i a nine-year-old boy with leukemia yeah yeah yeah help me yeah that's going right to ebay if you're a girl exactly yeah yeah and he knows it she was a hot number that girl was she how many times did you bang her a lot oh you did we had a run she was newly divorced and she had a kid we had to keep quiet and put in her ass which is not easy no no i mean you put things in people's asses they tend to squeal there's a lot of gym knows yeah yeah you bet yeah yeah i've been the giver and the receiver that's a lot of information i've squealed and i've made them squeal [Laughter] so was the was the derek jeter hook up before the marriage or during oh i think it was also after so it was fresh oh wow so it was like you were number two after number two yeah i was batting cleanup yeah yeah yeah i would walk into her bedroom here and i throw peanuts at her i don't know i feel like i'd be excited i mean it wasn't a relationship no it was just a fling it was a hot thing she was dating a struggling comedian with no money and no act and no credentials what ended it uh by the way you were slumming it for after she [ __ ] arguably the greatest yankee shortstop in history and maybe the best shortstop in history yeah she's [ __ ] like she's slumming by [ __ ] you you're her dirty slumming yes if anything you should feel good about yourself like what are this lady's options derek jeter and she chose me good point right all right i'll take it no i think what happened was jeter put enough [ __ ] on her and he dumped her and she's like what can i do i should kill myself and then mark came along and she said all right i'll take a rebound one level up yeah we're still friends though cool gail now she's remarried the whole thing oh it's a while ago oh it's just 10. oh okay eight nine years ago yeah how long did she [ __ ] derek for i think it was the one and done oh bang yeah i'm glad he had a big hog that's good to hear that's how he does it i wonder if uh if she told her new husband just so you know he's a yankee fan too hooked up with derek jeter and comedian mark normand who which one hey speaking of comics how about rich voss getting thrown off the reservation wow are we allowed to talk about that sure okay it's in the paper yeah voss uh i mean you know he dealt with a heckler i i it annoyed me this story because he thought with a heckler yeah like that was it i know and they left that part out like you deal with a heckler and it's news now it's silly that's a good point well 30 people walked out according to them that's a [ __ ] uh do you think that's true that 30 people walked out i don't think he had 30 people at the show he would have been bragging about that full house well you know somebody made a good point and i've heard it before but it's like you go see a movie you google you watch trailer whatever you go see a comedian do the same but nobody does they go it's a it's comedy it's this all-encompassing umbrella in their defense i don't you know googling rich voss may not you may not have that much stuff come out ah yeah you gotta be by his trunk especially if it's a uh you're going to see a headline commute like if you're at the seller right you're not going to google everyone on the lineup but if you're going out for a night you're going hey i'm going to go see this person you should know who you're going i've never done my life went to something and not knowing what it was i'm trying to buy a brownstone or something not a brown stone i'm trying to make money yeah buy something smart trying to buy something brooklyn like get some space a backyard live it up so covet hits i move out of my tiny apartment and i i can't find anybody to move in you know everybody's leaving the city like crazy i get this old asian lady she's she's super nice low maintenance pays rent on time you know happy with the price doesn't bother anybody two weeks in the building the board is like she smells like ass her dog [ __ ] in the lobby the cat pissed on the stairwell yeah she's got a bird in there she's cooking uh pork lo mein it's it's wreaking up the whole of the whole building we hate her you gotta get her out gross so i finally found somebody and then they wanted her one of their out and so i had to be the middle man of like hey lady you got to quit the cooking hey you got to keep your dogs out of the lobby hey we got to kill that bird that's the thing that people don't remember about like when they're like oh yeah place and i'll rent it out like you just went from being a comedian yes to being a landlord you didn't sign up for this and you're better at landlording [Laughter] so you uh you have to be the bad guy and tell her how do you how does she respond when you tell like you gotta [ __ ] go i i couldn't do it i'm too scared of confrontation so i was like i was trying to be the nice guy i was trying to be like just cooler with the cooking keep the door locked get a get a fan in there or something couple candles and she was like okay okay then months go by and they're like she's not gone yet what the hell and they're yelling at me and i eventually have to tell her i i just suck it up i grab my balls and i call her and i i'm gonna tell her and she she cuts me off and goes i love this apartment so much i'd like to buy this unit and i was like no they hate you this is the exact opposite thing i wanted to happen so uh she bought it no kidding but she uh she even i eventually came clean and told her the whole building hates you you gotta and she was crushed she was crushed she kind of got weep weepy on the phone she wasn't mad at you though not mad at me she was sad sad and had no idea she's like they're so nice to me they smile at me in the hallways pieces of [ __ ] of course of course yeah i guess but she's smelling the whole place up and yeah and the piss and the [ __ ] the piss and [ __ ] wouldn't you love to hear mark be serious mark on the phone like ah uh you gotta go can be cooking too much you know it's funny i almost got into a fist fight on uh third street by the fat black and uh i saw the bouncers there so i knew like you had to be all right so you know there's all these kooks walking around you know the village is crazy now it's nuts you can't go two feet without getting uh hey you [ __ ] queef or whatever that's colin yeah so um this guy i'm walking with a friend my friend's holding a camera and he goes nice camera f you know oh wow and uh i go all right all right jesus christ you just want to walk by these guys but this guy was a a little aggressive for no reason and my friend was like okay thank you and he goes you wouldn't last a minute in jail and i'm like what and he goes you heard me f and i go [ __ ] you [ __ ] i just couldn't take it anymore i was done you had enough yeah enough and i go [ __ ] you and this guy wasn't huge he was like your size you know and a little more handsome but uh he was like uh well you called me a [ __ ] and i'm like well you called me an f and he's like well you called me a [ __ ] i'm like but you called me an f so now i'm trying to reason with this yeah yeah and by the way if that if that what sorry keep going okay so then now i'm like walking backwards the fat black is behind me i'm walking backwards to the fat black and he's walking towards me and i'm just going we're doing this thing back and forth [ __ ] you [ __ ] you i'll beat your ass i'll beat your ass and i got the bouncers behind me and eventually he's like do something do something and we're we're face to face and then of course steve the gigantic black bouncer who's been there for 600 years puts his arm and goes all right dude get the [ __ ] out of here and uh so sean patton walked up another couple comics and they were like your trash talking is so non-threatening it sounds like a bit the whole thing it's like hey you [ __ ] what are you okay get out of here kill yourself who raised you hey and they all did a number on me for 20 minutes on the sidewalk but you know that guy didn't really want to fight because he wouldn't have said do something he would have just hit you for saying that to him yeah why don't you do something as soon as somebody's probably just not used to people saying something to him right um you wouldn't last in jail yeah but in jail it probably wouldn't go back and forth like that if a guy's what's his name danny trejo said that like he would have a confrontation if a guy would give him like that posturing [ __ ] yeah he would walk up to the guy and go [ __ ] your mother now what like what if we're gonna fight let's just fight get it over with and i'll but i've always heard let them push you don't ever because you want to just go all right and just punch the guy but then then you can get in trouble i don't want to get stabbed either though i don't want to get shot or stabbed or beaten up true but you'd be shocked who has a knife in this town sean patton's like i was ready and he just pulled out a [ __ ] blade i was like who the hell are you i guess you got to you know it's like it's not crazy to assume that you might get assaulted mace works but not as somebody's really [ __ ] up on drugs right oh i don't know about that yeah you never know i guess if they're on like bath salts or whatever they just fight through everything yeah right they just open their mouth bring that mason yeah yeah that's why it's good because you choke somebody there's no getting it there's no blood going to the brain doesn't matter how high you are physically pass out yeah but all the thoughts go like if i punch this guy and then it cuts my knuckle and he has aids and you start doing that math and you're like he's so gross and dirty and he's covered in [ __ ] so then there's that that possibility with a chokehold you gotta be in his [ __ ] i don't know yeah that's the one thing if you're gonna do jiu jitsu to a homeless guy you kind of gotta get out of that that's right yeah it's gross exactly yeah it has to be preservation like he's gonna [ __ ] me up if i don't choke him yeah i feel like if fight or flight kicked in i'd be sure i'd be flight we've done it with women before like she's so gross but i gotta do this sure but you just had enough of people saying [ __ ] for no reason i couldn't take it and i'm not a tough guy right but i just was like [ __ ] you i'm done with it i know if you guys bully me around i live in this neighborhood and i'm sick of it yeah yeah i think that's a lot of childhood starting to start to boil up to the surface i was like uh michael douglas in that movie falling down falling down yeah everybody that's robbed your house in new orleans growing up yeah also this guy was five nine you know so that's helpful well you're not a giant guy either though yeah so but i was like let's just do this even if you beat my ass let's just let's something's got to happen here because i'm sick of just walking by you guys this has been bubbling since your your bike got stolen oh yeah good enough you've had enough if you by the way if you were to punch that guy and he would have hit his head and died i'd still be on your side all right i mean he started it copy called us an f yeah absolutely you can't [ __ ] although you can't hit him for being honest [Laughter] so you've been tooling around town in the in the beamer is that the the weather's good yeah yeah i got the windows down i'm all over manhattan with that thing i'm too scared to bring it on out into another burrow because if it dies and just shuts down i'm stuck i'm all over the place what so you haven't taken any real significantly long trips in it too scared yeah the gas gauge goes like this it's like michael j fox with a pen it's all over the place and i can't i can't see how much gas i have i have to go all like when's the last time what's wrong with it what can you get that fixed i probably could but it's these tiny little needles that just wiggle and they're hard to get get back in line i guess and i might actually have to get like a little digital gauge and put it over here but uh like an external thing yeah yeah that's how much gas you have i need to know so i'm scared to go out cause the other day i was in the upper west side and i started it start it up i put it in reverse to get out of a parking spot and it just died started again here we go just died so i had to push it to a gas station what was it you're out of gas that was out of gas some people do gas by mileage some people like old school car people can do gas by mileage like they know kind of you know miles to the gallon and and just look at the mileage and figure out well it's it's my friend just bought a tesla and uh it's just fascinating getting this thing and it's so different like he's literally doing his taxes he's doing like the new york times crossword and it's driving itself on the highway oh self-driving self-driving the seats are amazing he's got music going he's got a podcast he's got netflix on this giant screen you can watch stuff on the screen you can watch anything that's hilarious that's where it's going once and once those get to be like they're safe now but once they're safer and everyone's got them everyone's got him everybody will just be doing business on the way yeah everybody you'll do podcasts in a in a tesla yeah where are you i'm on a 95 south you're losing phones to radio stations plus they're quiet so you can do a podcast totally yeah yeah i was i was i mean i've been thinking about a tesla for a while but me too i went and got the car filled up with gas over the weekend those gas mileage 97 higher than hunter biden no that's crazy that was the way i was when i when i when i looked at it and it was 97 i'm like this is getting to it's gonna be a hundred dollars to fill up my car i can't do it anymore you have a job you're doing well like imagine something like a landscaper guy or something yeah yeah like that's like it's it's completely cutting into your your bottom line i don't even notice i just say get in the car and go to work bums stop crying want to stay home sure i get that six bucks it's just disgusting but it's just fascinating to get in that tesla and get back in my car and i'm like okay uh first gear second clutch brake clutch i love your lights mark i love those two little those headlights on the front there's two little on the bumper there i bought those are fog lights you can add all those are awesome yeah they're fun they look great you bought fog lights to add on but you don't have a gas gauge yeah the gas like an eyeball but yeah it runs like a like a champion how long was it pushing to a gas station i got lucky because the upper west side is weirdly hilly so if you put if you go towards the river it goes there's a down slope well luckily the gas in manhattan is super cheap yeah yeah but the tank on this thing is like the size of my [ __ ] it's tiny just the opposite direction lots of room for gas i love it's coming from this girl samantha is that yours no i stole the car what do you think yes why didn't you walk to the gas station and get a and borrow a [ __ ] thing why would you actually i don't know if they give you a thing do they you gotta bring your own i think you got to bring your own thing you should have one in the back i guess i should now but then also what are you going to do just leave it on the street ah yeah you can't steal this yes and you know what why would you yeah there's no gas in it are you going are you hoping that maybe you know with the comedian's in cars you're like hey i got a car that we could we could just use mine you know uh sure sure he he when i bought it he was like send me photos i want to see it so he was very he was very he cared it was almost like when your dad gives a [ __ ] for about something for the first time yeah yeah like you're actually bonding on something yes yes like my dad doesn't give a [ __ ] about anything right he doesn't even know i do stand up he doesn't know i live in new york but i had a if i have a mole or something or i need some physical health thing he's all over it so you even in the because now you're do it was one thing when you were like you know up and coming and stuff and your dad was like i don't understand this i don't give a [ __ ] anyway but now that you're doing like well like you're one of the guys he still doesn't care nah i mean i think he's like oh that's good you're paying the bills i had a mole in my hair and he was he was rubbing my head one day and he's like what is this and it was a big mole like a dime-sized mole and he's like we gotta get on it and i was like he loves me oh my god he's not paying attention and we went to the hospital and he's like he's got a mole we gotta check it out and they're like all right it's gotta be lance and i was like yeah that's it man they were high-fiving then he found out it wasn't cancer and he cried yeah why'd you have a mole on your head just had a mold grew up with a bowl and it just uh you had to lance it it was you know the sun hits it all day so you're gonna start cutting yourself and trying to get infections so you can get daddy's god i'm hurt yeah i need to brace as a kid he was all over that he wants to make sure that you're healthy no just a reflection on him he wants to make sure that mark is healthy and looks good because dad doesn't want to look sickly yeah because he doesn't care what you're doing yeah i never thought about that i'm kidding you might have you really gave him a crisis it is interesting though that he doesn't care what you do with your life but he wants to make sure that you're alive yeah you know it's hard for him to show it he cares but it's hard for him to show it yeah but with that stuff there's an immediacy to health stuff that's like all right we can't like none of that stuff all that stuff about being afraid to show it goes aside when there's health issues those have to be addressed do you think he's secretly very proud of you i think so every now and then you meet a friend of his and he's like your dad talks about you and i'm like what yeah your friends are not weird of course he's told people he's pretty good he's out with jerry does he know that you're friends with science oh yeah oh yeah he cared that he was like whoa when's the last time you saw jerry recently right now well the pandemic's tough and the pop-tart movie oh this is the same thing you haven't been on the show in months it's the same story back then i know but he's not even bouncing around like you should see him at gotham a lot i don't see him there anymore what are you doing in the pop tart movie i'm not i don't know if i'm i'm in the movie but uh you know you never know when a role will open up that's true still writing it yeah maybe a comedian will die and i'll slide in when you buy a comedian i mean you mean what's his name it was opening for him ryan hamilton yeah when he got hit by a bus i was like i'm back oh is he all right yeah i forgot about that oh yeah he's totally fine he's got 10 minutes on it's killer lights out i'm sorry to hear that for your sense yeah i bet it's really clean too well yeah it's great it's clean and it's profound and i texted jerry i was like you see this uh this uh hamilton hit by a bus chunk and he was like now but i was like it's good maybe maybe we can bond for in our mutual appreciation for ryan hamilton no dude he's very funny very very happy killer yeah right yeah i mean george shapiro died what do you think i first thought i had was did you hit him up oh yeah how did uh jerry respond he said i know it's a shame yeah didn't it didn't didn't penetrate him yeah i'm trying to go for that depth i'm like a talk show host talking to paris hilton i'm like elaborate please give me more just letterman just sitting there in the silence of it he don't you didn't know him either it's so it's weird like when trump doesn't know like sometimes i'll talk about a death on the show somebody i didn't really know but just you know and people give condolences i'm like well i wasn't friends earlier i interviewed him like you know what i mean like right right i know him extremely casually through right right i agree people act all you know they post post a photo they have a big uh soliloquy on facebook and i'm like that much a big one soliloquy oh yeah okay yeah yeah is that a thing yeah no you nailed it yeah you said it wrong you said it slowly and so it sounded like it was gonna be wrong i think you did okay you got it right bad drinking word soliloquy but yeah yeah yeah post the picture yeah like you never knew bob saget shut up you got a picture with him that was the one time you met him exactly when are you getting married november 10th oh how you feeling is oh wow this is the summer of mark i'm living baby after the summer it's over i just got back from london i'm going to costa rica in two weeks at uh martha's vineyard i'm i'm we're doing a bachelor party in florida how was uh how was uh how was london london is [ __ ] awesome first of all it's clean there's no homeless there was no graffiti i mean i was in the the cool area i guess but which part uh i was in this place called westminster and it's right by soho and then right by another area covent gardens i think it's called but you know there's like tension in america especially in new york it's like white versus black men versus women right versus left mark versus homeless oh yeah yeah there's none of that there that's nice right it just feels free how long were you there uh about a week did a couple gigs i did i was shooting a tv show that's why i went out there and it was horrific but uh every night it's one of these cheese dick corny panel shows where they make you they give you a packet and they'll be like what's uh a movie and a meat and you gotta go harry pot roast oh that's fun that's like they fly you first class right there you go i get it it's worth doing it it's the flight that's the only reason i did it i don't need i didn't need the money harry potter you have to do that you got to do 20 of those and then they give you another one you know uh books that are hard to sell and you're like uh 1984 skin you know it's all like kind of punny yeah yeah it's cheat and there's an ant there's a buzzer or fly you to england first class but you have to write 200 puns i was up all night because i was like oh they gave him to the day before yeah joe list was like you better get he was there too he's like you better get on it man because he was there before me i was like i'll be fine this is horseshit i'm a comedian i'm a professional i know seinfeld and uh he was like i'm telling you man this packet is long and i went and drank i did spots all night you know i'm doing all kinds of crazy [ __ ] in london and then i get back at two in the morning i'm like let me crack this open hadn't opened it yet stayed up all night did an all-nighter drinking coffee all night and then had to shoot the show on no sleep i [ __ ] up the next day yeah i didn't take it seriously do you get to keep notes on there when you're there yes you can have your notes that's helpful some has to be memorized but it it was a nightmare and i'm like who is watching is it a competition or no it is see that's yeah did you win what's it called then my team won one is it jokoff the great american joke oh yeah i know someone else doing that yeah yeah i do too and i think she got out of it she we texted a lot about she's like this is a lot of work i'm like it was hell i'm so glad it's over it was like nom and she's like i'm out she's out oh people got fired for not riding enough so it was yeah ah okay so wait the uh the great british joke off and you got to do how many episodes or how many you did four i feel bad now we're saying the name they're gonna hear this well you're not [ __ ] on you saying it was a lot of work it was a lot of work to say it was a cheese dick you said cheese remember these shows this is like their bread and butter like this is what they do in the context of here it's great what do you win in the uk you just win that day you don't win you know team a1 and that's it oh it's okay what are some more examples of things uh you know a book a book you would never buy and i said 1984's i said charlotte's web history you know i like that but that took six hours of going ah what am i gonna do you know but you just need one or two for each and no no you need and these british guys are ringers these british guys would come in with [ __ ] big stacks of paper and just zing and zang run circles around us americans we're all hung over i got jizz on my leg you know wait wait oh you had to keep going how many books do you have to have one book for you you had to one-up each other just keep going and then they would always have eight more than us because this is their whole thing yeah they're all like what's his name just slamming out one liner it's like doing jimmy carter jimmy carr yeah what it's like doing at midnight it was like that but but for five hours instead of 30 minutes yeah long long then you got to do a stand-up set that they choose you do a set too yeah what do you mean they choose they go hey we like this material from the tonight show and this joke from the colbert and then oh wow how's the money is it good money money was solid money was solid and the first class and the hotel was unbelievable right um but holy [ __ ] it was a lot of work i'm asking money more than that okay it was four episodes okay so that's four packets huh one more oh yeah yeah okay but the more reps you do the more money you get yeah pounds of dollars that's a great question that is a good question i think it was dollars that's a lot that's still good for a day's work yeah that's a lot of fun i mean it's all day it's but it's one days two days three days two days two two eps a day okay that's a lot so it's yeah but but it's still i mean she dropped out yeah and i don't blame her once i saw that pack and i was like what have i done but it was too late i want to see the packet i'll stop saying yeah just curious yeah i mean you'll go oh i got this and then 12 exercises in you go i can't do it anymore but i had to do it but you print them out and bring them yeah and it's just scribble scribbles crossing out is so much [ __ ] on there it was a nightmare charlotte's web history but your writing is so good that's perfect for you like aside from the amount of it but the whole time you're thinking what am i doing i'm selling tickets i should be doing my act i should be working on my act right now and so the only saving grace was we'd all go do sets at night and you're like that's cool i'm back in hell again how long are you in the uk for about eight nine days and you're only shooting for two yeah but you're writing for four days oh they give you time to write they give you a day or two but i i didn't use it so i had to cram it all in then you you stay up all night then you got to sleep a day so i [ __ ] myself so wait there's uh you don't get the package till you get there no i got a little early you did okay so that's on me it's on me they put you up for like a week though even though you're only doing two days worth of taping yeah they want you to get acclimated to london the the jet lag right if you want to see the city you got to go do it in one day and then come back and work they even had a meeting with us they're like you're working right and i was like whoa yeah i had a little flag a british flag and you know i was i was not doing anything how many how many uh different uh things did you have to write a bunch of jokes for oh my god it's so many it was every every packet was six pages and each page had about five of those exercises on it oh plus your act oh yeah yeah but there's no real that one of the things was like all right here's a what's a pickup line you would say if you met tom cruise and you have to go up and go up to a microphone and go are you a bottom because i'm a top gun you know or whatever the hell it is yeah and you have to have 20 of those right hey let's not wear a condom i like risky business of course it was there's only so many tom cruise members right exactly the money shot right nobody made a mission impossible joke oh yeah oh they did no they did of course yeah they did i like missionary impossible do you have anal virginity you'll be losing it [Laughter] that's good and is it can you be a little coarse with your humor is that okay barely okay so they don't like all the anal stuff no and i made a a uh nine what is it called uh the storming the capital joke and they were like oh right but it's not even their capital the [ __ ] anybody can do that that's your prerogative it's your capital i made our kelly joke and epstein joe all out the window they're just getting over the jimmy savile stuff they don't want to trip jimmy savage no no kidding no way it'd be great if you just had like everything so many jimmy sample jokes yes and then the brits are so stern like they fired one they fired one person actually better than ants well they're just like they sit with you and they're like uh we noticed you're not doing a lot of writing and you're like uh and you just crumble because they just they're so direct you know is where we [ __ ] food what do you know you're not doing a lot of they would see like you would run out of jokes fast yeah exactly wow you need more they're checking it's work it's work it's a work trip and i get it in their in their view they're like we first-class ticket put in a nice hotel we flew you out we're paying you well you better work and comedians do have the tendency to slough off we like it easy we're the laziest yeah but he should have told us how much work it would be when i did a zoom meeting with him in america he's like it'll be fun it's jokes you're a joke guy it's some of your acts so you don't have to work on that you're like oh i got this and then you get out there and it's a [ __ ] term paper i would hate to do the act that they chose yeah that's annoying that would drive me nuts so it's it's worth it because the money is good but it's not free money by any stretch no you worked for yeah yeah yeah you're a lot of money though yeah good money yeah but the whole reason you get into stand-up is to just work on your act have your own schedule do your [ __ ] and this is all them right you're performing for them now oh yeah we don't comics don't like anything that feels like homework yes like we hate it it's just you know i mean everyone does but i mean like we get into this job like i can kind of do my thing and be my own boss and then when someone sits down and says you have to write yes you're like oh [ __ ] you spent 15 years struggling just so you don't have to work exactly yeah yeah exactly yeah and then you finally make it and then you gotta go do work yeah exactly yeah i kept picturing like george carlin would never do this in a million years not that i'm george carlin but like he's just yeah yeah he's a pure stand up no but he would write though i mean when he did tough crowd he had notes he had jokes written he had a bunch of stuff but it was his prerogative that he did that thing oh yeah right but i'm saying he wanted to make sure he had but he wanted the topic they said carlin when he did it kept asking for the topics but george was on i mean going where do you know what the topic starts with the topics are like he wanted to be prepared but if some british guy was like we've noticed you're not doing a lot of writing he'd be like get the [ __ ] out exactly exactly we might have to break the [ __ ] badly i'm sorry we might maybe so maybe not i really have to [ __ ] like yeah i'm trying so when you say we might have to break you guys keep talking i'm gonna go [ __ ] i was gonna wait a few minutes but i i have to share all right send us a photo we could take a break we gotta take a break at some point anyway mark norman is hanging out by the way i guess you're uh you're getting it out of your system now before the big wedding but you got a big summer planned all june on the road first of all tomorrow through saturday here at stand-up live in huntsville alabama and then this is this is all june timonia maryland poughkeepsie minneapolis chicago cleveland a couple weeks for yourself then all the way out to california marknormandcomedy.com is the place for all the dates oh yeah through september i gotta pay for this honeymoon i gotta pay for this new apartment oh my god i'm going for it what a time we'll be right back with mark norman stay right there have you because you're a guy who picked up a lot of content during the pandemic oh yeah started a couple new podcasts yep still keeping up with everything but is it like getting to be a lot now that stand-up is back and everything it's so much i'm overwhelmed i'm freaking out i'm pulling my hair out but uh it's also great you know when everything's working unfortunately yeah so it's all clicking but it's just you never get a day you never get a day off you're on a flight you're writing you're on the road you're doing eight pods in a day you guys you gotta can five of them because you know your your co-post is gonna be gone right you guys are both traveling yeah so it's a lot then you gotta get guests and i do a pockets where i drink so it's 3 p.m i've had six gin and tonics you know and i'm like oh i got shows tonight and then i got a flight at 8 a.m tomorrow so it's a whirlwind yeah it's good though it's good to be busy it is it beats having nothing to do it does there's probably a comfortable middle ground you know i feel like uh at some point comics are gonna be like okay enough with all these podcasts it's gonna be ridiculous even bill maher has won yeah conan has one i'm like kevin hart has a podcast yeah the most busiest richest guy in comedy has a [ __ ] podcast yeah we don't there you go serious won't give us no they won't allow us to podcast the show no do you want to do it well we wouldn't do the show yeah we would just take like this and like guess what mark you just did our podcast you know yeah we don't didn't it used to be that no no no no no no no they're really brilliant with podcast content yeah good stuff yeah good good stuff good stuff yeah yeah well yeah everybody's got one and i listened i'm like bill barr's got a [ __ ] pod what a weirdo let me check that out it's probably good it's pretty good yeah i mean yeah but you almost got like you got a tv show already dude i know but you get to hear him be even more bill maher really himself completely no producers i don't listen to any of them i have no desire to hear it i i'm just bored with all of it it's the same everybody just putting out this and commenting on this and that one it's just boring it's all well let's say ozzy did rogan you would listen to that of course that's what i'm saying so you find that one guest like oh they got this guy i'll check that out and now you're in but if i did a podcast you would listen to every episode every app yeah i'd try to get on it yeah of course you would you would carry that thing let's be honest i don't think so he probably asked me very good questions what are you doing here who are you you just do you and that sent me under a john velby loop last night dr dirty i ordered something um i i love him i think he's such an underrated prolific guy i agree he's made me laugh since probably 1980 i discovered him or 1979 when i was 11 or 12. i didn't i imagined what he looked like was long hair and a goat i had no idea so i went on uh i went on uh ebay last night and ordered an availbe album because i've never actually seen the album cover like a vinyl yeah yeah because it's the album it's called um a concerto for a piano voice and 500 screaming [ __ ] but i i got the album and i want to get him to sign it because it's such a great album cover is he still doing stuff he's 77 years old man he's 70 [ __ ] seven years old yeah is that a great album coming like i really want to get that signed oh yeah that's cool yeah i used to see him when i started on the road i would see his name on the on the flyer like coming up soon yeah i [ __ ] i he doesn't love the piano anymore it's now it's like a casio that sounds like a piano sure yeah but i love him i want to see him again actually i haven't seen him in many years i've never seen him live he's fun he's fine he's a nice person he's just uh you know he's just great yeah the way that that got me bull burning and got me into a john valeby loop there you go there's not as many videos of valby unfortunately though it's just not yeah what about uh the dock the carlin dock do you watch it yeah i liked it i i mean i'm a huge carlin nut i've seen everything he's ever done i met him you ever hear the seven dirty words yeah i don't know that one no it's newer but uh i will say i felt like it got a little activisty you know at the end where we're showing photos of oh january 6 i hated that all that stuff you're like let's stick to george yeah i had nothing to i hate when that was unnecessary politics yeah you're right i forgot about that i didn't like that at the end it's also like you try to like attribute like i don't need to like to try to figure out what would he be saying about today yeah don't don't put his lyrics over a new yes his sorry his jokes over a new you know who knows what side he'd be taking i mean like i'm sure that if like bill maher if bill maher had died 15 years ago people would be like oh he'd be rallying against this he'd be rallying against that but he's like he's flipped to the other side entirely yeah carlin may have loved it carlin may have said overthrow these [ __ ] he may have said the best thing you can do is run into the capitol [ __ ] them you never know you don't know what angle he should have taken he died in 2008 he's been dead for [ __ ] 14 years 13 years you never know how his mentality would have he would have hated all this left-wing [ __ ] speech policing which he attacked all day long all day long and he hated the conservatives but he may have loved the fact that somebody actually went in there and [ __ ] up yeah because he wasn't the pro-government he hated the government hated the government and it's weird that uh the left and the right will claim carlin yes yes he would attack clinton i hated both of you he hated both of you he ain't anyone telling him what to do and they all go like the left will go look at this he's making fun of abortion and police and racism and i'm like but he also said the n word a bunch he also called feminist come catchers yeah he also said hey uh i'd like to go into the women's group and say suck my dick and cook me a nice dinner or whatever so it just shows like hey you psychos we can say crazy [ __ ] and still be good people yeah stop attacking people based on the joke but yeah to to put that over january 6 and think that he would have had some purely uh comfortable for the left narrative on it he may have yeah but to assume is wrong you're putting words in his mouth right you're implying that and i know that the argument would be well no we're just saying that what he said then also applies to this from a listener point of view maybe but the documentaries about him as an artist and not him as a not the viewer's interpretation exactly it's a documentary a documentary i think has less room for interpretation like it's supposed to be a document his life not an interpretation of what he'd be saying but i enjoyed the rest i felt like i loved the interviews and i i loved the other side of him it showed all this stuff like i mean the uh the family interviews and the uh the footage of him that i never saw and just things about him i didn't know totally and it he was so good so early like he's doing he was doing stuff in the 70s where you're like oh that would work today like he was just a good i mean he had his corny word stuff but man he was just a good comic but it wasn't even then like it was corny like by looking back on it but back then the stuff he would do with what words and stuff he took apart the language nobody had done that to that point that's true like nobody had done what he did with uh with breaking down there's a genius to breaking down how we think that by changing the language you change the condition yeah like what is smart like the jokes underneath it the point he's making is masterful but did you see that part with rick moranis on second city or whatever that show is called in canada sctv where he would be like oh table over the table but this pill is under the table and he just they tore him apart it was pretty ugly and it motivated him but i mean he's but he's also funnier and a more important contributor than any of them have ever become yeah good point they have every right to make fun of them but let's not pretend that any of you did anything compared to what george carlin did i mean perfect example they're like you know cheech marin was the biggest you know cheech and chong huge phenomenon comedy wise and he was like the hip guy whereas carl was getting old and becoming the corny guy and they were like he sucks he's not he's he's flashing the pan and look who kept going and look who stopped yeah yeah cheech marin played uh hugo's dad and lost yeah and carlin did you are all diseased exactly great special yeah i mean yeah carlin and pryor like there isn't anybody who's anywhere near that level i don't think i mean i know louie maybe maybe alan his joke writing yeah 64-68 yeah but he's the best he's not nearly as prolific in terms of stand up no no he stopped doing it but i'm only saying as far as being genius level comic he's i the most underrated stand-up ever um and i also think robert klein is very underrated but there's something about carlin the fact that he was able to like maintain and he did that dip right yeah he did that dip where he wasn't he was cool and then it was like i don't think he's cool anymore like bill bird tells that story about going to mock him yes and it's like oh [ __ ] came out with a hurwitzer or whatever that is machine gun yeah yeah that was a great part yeah yeah i think it's interesting with him though because it's like his whole thing was that everybody's so full of [ __ ] yeah but you're right about like one side claiming him over the other because i feel like nowadays like so many people go like oh yeah the right is so full of [ __ ] or the left is so full of [ __ ] yeah but then they'll side with the other side as if it's not all one thing i know he would start attacking the the anti-abortion people saying they're anti-women like he was radically liberal and he also hated liberal like he was just a complete person yes he was a complete person and a complete thinker so anyone claiming that he just represented their side of thank you it's just it's insane it's naive why don't we have to put everybody in a box like right i always say nuance is the new n-word there's so much complex stuff you actually said that i mean there are people that would probably strongly disagree well i know it's a joke but i'm just saying like it's crazy how you gotta be in a box now are you this guy i had a girl at a show once she came up after my set and she was like uh hey i wanted to like you but i couldn't tell if you were right-wing or left-wing and it was bothering me and i'm like what are you doing just enjoy the jokes you're sitting here trying to decipher who i am trying to figure out what side is he on no before i can laugh what side is he on funny side yeah funny that's silly right it's very silly it's silly people are stupid though it's a very s like you know like you need a or b it's a dumb thing it's weird it didn't used to be like this no no they want mask or no man i ask her anti-mask right right yeah what what do you feel when you see somebody in a mask are you passionately feeling like they're great or are you passionately feeling like they're horrible and it's like what if i don't care yeah exactly what if i'm not feeling anything at all right right i know yeah that's it it's funny they need to know do i line up with this guy or not i never care about this i don't care about lining up i caught myself getting mad at the point before like just internally and then what do you do like you catch yourself like one of my [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah who cares who cares it's just how we deal with things now left or right left or right like i don't know yeah i've never voted yeah i don't know anything yeah and by the way well then by the way carla's point i'm never voting and having no right to complain genius flipping everything on its head exactly yeah just just a master it's really embarrassing like when you look at the way a guy like that wrote jokes or prior or woody or any of the guys you like you're like what am i doing this business like yeah these guys were so good at it for so long yeah like you know i mean you start to feel like [ __ ] i know it's unachievable well do you ever wonder if like the fact that you guys are making so much content now like prior and carlin like carlin like he would sit there and he'd have one hour of material and hone it and hone it right at every single syllable like he there's no way he could do that if he was doing three podcasts no no no no way no way no podcasts are the death of writing they are right yeah because you have no time right but he also said in that like every two years he would shoot a special and he said more in that hour than anybody is saying on any podcast and he said it crystal clear and with great clarity and with with precision and it was hilarious and it was eviscerating like he he honed it so well that like oh like you'd watch it and like he would gut something and you would be like like i'll never be able to gut something that well yeah and that accurately and with that much [ __ ] hilarious [ __ ] attached to it yes and get laughs that's the hard part is saying all that [ __ ] and he's killing with the audience that's incredible yeah but i saw him live once and it wasn't pretty oh good i would love to see him that's almost better right like just to be able to know that like he also yeah bombs well his whole thing is like he's like i work out in front of paid audiences that's me i don't i don't do this open mic [ __ ] like you want to come see me you got to pay a ticket and i will be doing new [ __ ] that's the only reason he has so much is because he took the time to work it out there you are mark so i went and saw him in biloxi mississippi he still got such a mark normally yeah he's nice it was beaming i was glowing look i got my dumb book in my lap i think that's when we had him on k rock he looks the same as he did right have been wearing the exact same outfit yeah that might have been the same day a month before he died something crazy like that it might have been this might have been the same day yeah he um yeah he would it's funny he would he would work out oh wait you just made me think of something and i lost my thought about uh bombing oh i saw him live uh right when i think it might have been right before i started comedy just when i started and i'm in the opening of one of those specials for a nanosecond you can catch me i'm in the third row what center of i think it was what am i doing in new jersey or doing it again it was shot at the state theater and um i'm not in the whole thing but there's a couple of moments i remember where i was sitting where it zooms in and you can see that's great yeah i think that's the uh do you ever see him do stand up again that might be the only time i saw him just stand up in a room yeah yeah when i saw him he was getting heckled everybody was hammered it was at a casino for christ's sake but uh he was doing like his cute word stuff you know download and uptown whatever that was and everybody was like nah i don't like this say say the seven dirty words you know and uh he was like [ __ ] you [ __ ] you put a dick in this guy's mouth like he was just like firing off on everybody he didn't do any of the classics no i love did that salvage the set or is it just ah he just kind of did his own thing at the end and people were talking through it that's great to know though that even a guy like that level of genius and that level of work and precision went in and worked it out like everybody else has to stand up there taking a [ __ ] a big set of ugly balls to your face oh yeah that really is the only way to do it and none of it matters ultimately because the legacy that you leave behind is the recorded specials like the hbo box set yeah the material and he had bad knives and unfunny shitty thoughts and terrible jokes like every other [ __ ] comic exactly so encouraging yeah he had probably had tons of bits that he never recorded went oh nowhere i'm sure he had some horseshit out there like uh you know he'd be like keyboard why you have your keys on a board why are they why aren't they they should be excited yeah yeah like why george yeah yeah he had all that stuff yeah but but in the words of seinfeld he would elevate the ordinary so he would do stuff a place for your stuff and you're like yeah yeah your stuff is [ __ ] and my [ __ ] is stuff and you're like that's true yeah and it says a lot about the way we really think in that dumb little joke right yeah he's just incredible right yeah yeah anyone covered that that carlin is good has anyone covered that nobody well you're allowed to have the conversation again because the doctor right and it's a fair thing because it never it's never old like to say how [ __ ] amazing he was like he was that great yeah yeah you know and you know the football versus baseball is amazing yeah just good stuff yeah and i love that he was on crazy amounts of blow the whole time yep yep stayed up for six days had a full conversation with seven people in a room he said it was just him is that the one no that's a union city that's not it that's that's the uh i this is what am i doing doing it again i think is the one i was at because he was at the state theater in new brunswick i still remember the people i went with yeah and i snuck backstage what yeah i still have my signed ticket he signed a ticket whoa and i told him i was like i wanted to stand up and he was really nice man it was just he took a moment yeah sweet guy yeah he was there's a couple comics in new york who emailed him and he emailed him back and was like you got to do that i mean look at the shandling story remember that old sailing story where he showed up he drove like five hours to the tempe improv and was like i have jokes and carlin read them and gave him notes it's in the shandling dock which is also an apatow joint yeah yeah that was a really good one was it good yeah because he found his old like notebooks yes his diaries and was able to like crack the whole little you're like he's like what's her name mitzi shores a [ __ ] [ __ ] her because he didn't get passed the first time so that's all in there yeah yeah and avatar was like obsessed with gary chandler yeah i love shandling yeah underrated comic i mean larry sanders show is one of the best comedy shows ever so good first time i saw gary shanley i can remember it was joan rivers was guest hosting the tonight show and he was doing this bit and i'm almost positive it was her and they cut his bit off at the end about uh going on a smaller it's a small world no no no no no no that bit bitty did about the ride um and they cut it off with the music i think by mistake and then when he got on panel she had him finish the joker he was so [ __ ] funny on that i remember how great he was yeah larry sanders show was so good that they wanted to like make him the host of yeah one of the late night shows tonight show or late show or whatever it was but like it's a parody of that yeah and they were like he's he's so good he could just have the real job i know and he didn't do it he kept doing larry sanders instead yeah i wouldn't do it but he guest hosted the tonight show a bunch yeah he did right yeah but i that seems like a hell gig you wouldn't want to do that oh every day talking to snooki or whoever the hell yikes especially that was a little different though true yeah it doesn't it doesn't nearly have the cultural impact now that it did then yeah yeah yeah you going fouling you got to play uh ping pong or some [ __ ] yeah it was it was different then and it was the biggest thing you could truly do in entertainment yeah comics don't grow up at it like that was the thing back then like so many comics of that era grew up with that dream of like you know that's what i want to do that's the pinnacle of the business and i feel like that's gone gone i did that cleveland morning i've done 12 late night sets i did the cleveland morning show that went viral that did better than any late night i've ever done yeah that's that's that's showbiz now you can't predict it yeah well there you go 1990. two or what 40. come on mark cut that out of the replay yeah how old was i was probably 21. and i think i had either done an open mic or just i would let whatever the date is i could tell you because i think i lied to get backstage agents and i'm a comedian and it was uh i mean it could have been 20 22. and i would have been lying yeah yeah well i think my resume speaks for itself they wouldn't pay me if i wasn't funny i forgot i forgot how long you've been doing this for how'd you get third row this is a giant theater it was i was with a couple of other pause there let me see if you're going back if you can see me you might have because i i'm sure they tape two shows so you might not be able to see me in every oh yeah take um but i believe i was in the third row look for the wiener with the buzz cut yeah and i had i know i had more hair and i had a black like mock turtle i think i had like a chain of course you did a true [ __ ] i didn't do photos back then looking like the rock with his fanny pack all right you could probably slowly zip through it and just see if you can [Music] see a little any audience stuff but again i'm guessing those two shows so i probably wouldn't be and uh travis does not know how to zip through something that's the only thing about carlin that i would never got into was that he had a balding and a ponytail like what are you doing man come on no ponytail get out of here it's an aging hippie thing yeah yeah i guess so he's kind of beatnik you know he's gone from cocaine to rogaine [Laughter] that's an amazing great bit about boomers he was tackling boomers before everybody yeah before boomers was a thing yeah i mean it was actually just referring to a real generation exactly pasta makers and all that [ __ ] yeah i know heavy [ __ ] yeah now he's wiping his ass see that's the other great thing is he would come out with [ __ ] farts he'd do 10 minutes on farting and pulling the underwear to the crack of your ass it was in in in the one i caught a picture a screen grab of myself from judd's documentary so wherever he used to zoom in on something from behind to the audience i don't know where judd got it was obviously from the show yeah and i i just happened to get lucky i think and catch that uh yeah and zoom in kudos to judd for doing these like spending the time and doing a four hour shandling four hour carl and this is good yeah i like a good long oh yeah well that one on joan what's that we need one on joan rivers yeah there was the one that she was into oh that's right but again that she was behind that yeah yeah cause you saw her date book and how obsessed she was yeah working that one and the gilbert one was really good oh that was crushed gilbert one was really good so sad yeah i think she's she might be i said woody is a stand-up i think joan is the most underrated uh because she did it for all those years yeah and she's never mentioned in top five lists and she should be interesting what about one for norm well he just died i know yeah but yeah but it'll happen i mean i'm not norm on youtube is the most beautiful collection it's like i don't know 900 hours of norm footage oh wow it's incredible and some lady just does it for fun does she like norm yeah she loves norm how much of his private life do people know about too like i don't know a lot about that at all i mean the cancer was hidden for nine years that tells you everything yeah yeah there's a there's a video of him some guy's like a huge norm nut and he was like let me just do a day in the life of norm and it's [ __ ] wild he lives in a like a one-bedroom apartment in la his mom brings him a sandwich and he just gambles all day on his laptop reels and shorts and a t-shirt and it's the weirdest thing wow yeah he really what because he just was just jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes what do you think that that was what he did for that documentary no it seemed pretty pretty legit and the mom's all cute and he lives with her mom yeah okay or she was just hanging out with him but he had a glass of milk he was like an eight-year-old isn't that news special supposed to be coming out like this week it's already out is it it's weird it's it's tough i watched it out of respect but it's just him sitting in a chair talking yeah in his living room he's living room no audience no laughs no nothing but he knew i'm gonna guess that he knew he might not live through it so he might have wanted to get one more thing down on paper as they say that's what he said he said that uh when the covet thing started he was like in his doctor he went to the doctor or whatever his doctor said you know this could be bad it's you know and he wanted he had this material that he wanted to get on tape and he didn't know if he'd ever get yeah in front of an audience again because when are they going to be back and what kind of condition am i going to be in so he just got the material on tape and then knowing he was that sick though he had to have to not like yeah he came back from the doctor yeah they say because he used to touch his stomach a lot on sets it was like his thing and it was stomach cancer so that was him he has had cancer three times leukemia well the last one took but it's the first one was stomach cancer which he had in like the 90s yeah but that he got over that and then he had some other cancer then i think long wasn't it long again you hear all these things tough do you get checked i'm sorry i get scammed i'm so paranoid it's like covet if you don't get tested you don't you don't have it you never had it yeah herpes never check yeah always go always go get a good scan i don't like it again no especially now that you get into the age where you're getting to the you're just starting to get into the potential bad news age i know right no they say your body starts breaking down in your 30s and your 40s your body starts dying in your 40s your body starts my dick started dying when i was 17. yeah wow man blue chew that's what you know i'm not like when i was a kid we had to walk eight miles up but i am like hey you kids have bluetooth you know how lucky you are yeah i had to just suck it up and be called a a homo by this girl in a bedroom you know how no no how unlucky you are because my [ __ ] limp dick saved me from so many disasters it also humiliated me but my lipstick is the reason i'm not a parent there's so many girls i've hooked up with in my life that i didn't i would say 80 to 90 of the girls i've hooked up with i didn't [ __ ] that high oh yeah come on how many men yeah but i mean come on man for a little sucky sucky no you didn't uh i couldn't think of a good line of course i didn't want to agree i didn't want to do another taking a dick line but uh no you uh it was just the fear of it happening and also like uh and i just would i'd you know [ __ ] go down on them and get myself you're just the king of oral yeah that's why i eat [ __ ] well the oral king yeah yeah my dick embarrassment yeah i just let me down a few times 89 80 90 percent oh no maybe like five percent yeah it's like the reverse yeah exactly but i remember this girl would flirt for years we flirted for years and years and we loved we wanted to [ __ ] each other so bad and then she finally broke up with her boyfriend i went to her house in bay ridge nothing and we were she was laying there like what are you doing she's naked it's hot and bothered and fingering and the whole thing and it just wouldn't work too much too much it was anticipation for years and then when i got there i couldn't perform brutal one of my favorite dominatrix dominatrix is who i was she was [ __ ] beautiful and she was kinky and i saw her for a couple of years on and off and she would never let me do anything with other than domination stuff we were doing but occasionally she would slap my dick and then we started talking a little bit more personally because we became friends and she's told me like oh god i love your dick i would i would want to touch your dick so much it got really dirty and i was like really and so we start talking and then she wants me to come over and [ __ ] her this is not as a client this is just years later oh holy toledo very flattering i had jerked off that day no and i didn't know we talked after and i knew not to go but i just didn't want to pass up the chance so i went to her house and i just i gave her one of the all-time worst [ __ ] i think i [ __ ] her twice not in that day but it was a disaster because my dick was just i jerked off already like a long like jerks and i could feel the numbness in my dick when i was driving to our house the marshmallow in the keyhole i could feel the numbness and i'm like whatever comedian first said it's like shooting pool with a rope whatever whoever coined that phrase was genius that was great i think that was new heart but you disappointed her she didn't live up to the expectations that she had going on she hadn't [ __ ] a guy in a long time oh man she was so pretty too damn that's a bump but now you can go over there with a rock hard viagra yeah she's 20 years older and has no interest ah do you think she's lost interest wow she's 89. it's my last age joke but oh man yeah the the the not getting it up is a real it builds character yeah yeah yeah i was the only owner of bummer city but now that's not even a couple you want to clean that's helpful but now i mean you don't have to worry about that too much anymore do you yeah yeah you know you're gonna get shackled down plus i mean let's i mean jim you heard what he said right he wants to find a little space with a little bit of something in the backyard yep for a couple of kids to run around in you know start that family life figure out what's that balance i could be a comedian and still have this family life maybe i can get that fulfillment out of life that's not just career i hear what you're saying right sure there's no reason to be afraid of it no it's wonderful well you got kids i got two kids they're the greatest was it terrifying when they came out of the big clam that's that's a medical term yes but uh no no you're holding this thing i'm responsible for a life there was one moment and it wasn't like a scary thing it was just like a holy [ __ ] this is it this is true this is real where it was like when uh my first child was born we got home from the hospital because while you're at the hospital it's still like you know it's not you're not living your life you're in the hospital for a few days or whatever so it's not this like moment as soon as the baby's born but it's when we got home uh-huh and there's this one moment where it was like oh we need to get some like diapers and formula or whatever it was we need to go to the cvs and i you realize like oh i'm a dad like everything that you do we have to take into consideration like if we're both in the car you have to wait in the car while i go to cvs because otherwise we're both getting out of the car then we have to take the kid out of the car seat who's going to lift the kid who's going to do like everything is the thing that you have to plan for now that was [Music] moment it's like there's no more there's no more just sam's life no it's like everything has to be considered oh you just made me pro-choice just in that moment holy [ __ ] that's a great way to put it everything has to be considered now i'm assuming that you know with your lady she's supportive of you so she knows you're a comic you need a certain amount of freedom in your life and then she'll support you in that you hope you hope i have a great photo of mark talking about children just it's just the realization i don't even know you took that right but it's like like if i'm gonna go like there's a movie store that i'd like to go to in connecticut right it takes like an hour to get there and so there's no like oh i'll just go one day yeah i just go it's like you're figuring out a couple days in advance you know what saturday morning i think i think i'll have like a three hour window where i can go do that and then i'll tell my wife hey i'm gonna hit up the movie store to saturday morning work oh wow actually well no because we're gonna need coverage on this day it's not even like it's just you know it's literally you need coverage yeah yeah yeah and then other things like stuff starts to become not as worth it anymore right i've seen that with friends right like you just don't wanna just go get a beer with a guy yeah yeah and almost you don't even like you're like wow no it's not i'd rather be here like i'm not gonna it's not worth it for me to go hang out with you this afternoon and do nothing interesting cause if i'm gonna do nothing i'd rather hang out with the kids yeah and like watch life happen yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah it don't do it mark don't do it it's a whole thing but there is a fulfillment to it yeah yeah you like the kid i love both of them oh yeah right two kids like one better of course yeah it's just that's just how life works but all right yeah geez this is something to think about yeah yeah absolutely you want to worry about a nanny you could get a nanny but also like nice jamaican lady you could but then i feel like we don't have a nanny my wife stays home she doesn't work okay that's how that works that helps a lot yeah that's big but you also want to make sure that you're connecting with your kids right you don't want to just you don't want to burp christ you're it exactly that's what they call it you don't want to machine it up yes yes exactly oh boy well look uh kids are on the way so you better support mark norman you got it maybe i'm uh what do you call it shooting blanks well probably not kids are on the way so go see mark this is this is this is the end yes you won't be able to tour like this anymore this is the end honestly once you have kids you're not going back to huntsville no huntsville's not going to be one of those markets that you go back to i love huntsville so well then you better go see him this weekend starts tomorrow tomorrow through saturday stand up live huntsville alabama then on to timonium and poughkeepsie minneapolis chicago cleveland irvine all over the place go to marknormandcomedy.com uh for all those dates yeah and uh it's always fun man hey good times yeah good to see you man i'm really good seeing you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: Jim Norton & Sam Roberts

Views: 52,343

Keywords:

Id: Q5TnvdsKC4k

Length: 65min 29sec (3929 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 04 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/Status-Murky]

Love this. Thank you.