$50 FOR 2 POUNDS
OF JUMBO LUMP? WHERE'S THE CHEAP STUFF? IT'S REAL EASY
TO MAKE YOUR OWN DEODORANT. Narrator:
WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY, THERE ARE THOSE WHO SAVE... EXPIRED PRODUCTS --
ARE THEY FREE? ...THERE ARE THOSE
WHO ARE STINGY... I'M MAKING OUT
LIKE A BANDIT. ...AND THEN,
THERE ARE CHEAPSKATES. HE'S GOING THROUGH
MY TRASH. Jeff: SORT OF LIKE A CHEAPSKATE
ARCHAEOLOGICAL DIG. NOW, CAN YOU DO ANY BETTER
ON THE PRICE FOR ME? Narrator: AMERICA'S CHEAPEST MAN
MAKES GIFTS FROM GARBAGE... WHAT KIND OF HOUSEGUEST
WOULD I BE IF I DIDN'T BRING A LITTLE GIFT? Narrator:
...AND MEALS OUT OF SCRAPS. Jeff: I'M GOING TO INTRODUCE
THE WILSONS TO THE CHEAPSKATE DELICACY
THE SALMON CARCASS. Stacey: IT WAS REPULSIVE. Narrator: WELCOME TO THE WORLD
OF "EXTREME CHEAPSKATES." --<font color="#FFFF00"> Captions by VITAC --</font><font color="#00FFFF">
www.vitac.com</font> CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS HI, I'M JEFF YEAGER,
AND I'M AN EXTREME CHEAPSKATE. [ BELLS JINGLE ] HEY, GOOD MORNING. Christina: HELLO. HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? GOOD. HAPPY FRIDAY.
DO YOU ALL HAVE COCONUT OIL? YES. I STOPPED AT A LITTLE STORE
I'VE SEEN BEFORE, BUT I WAS GONNA PICK UP
SOME COCONUT OIL THERE TO MAKE MY DEODORANT WITH. I'VE ALWAYS FELT THAT FRIDAYS ARE PROBABLY
THE BEST DAY TO HAGGLE, PARTICULARLY IF YOU'RE TALKING
TO A MOM-AND-POP KIND OF SHOP. YOU KNOW, THESE ARE FOLKS
WHO WANT TO CLOSE OUT THE WEEK WITH SOME HEALTHY SALES. THEY'RE MORE WILLING TO BARGAIN. Jeff: DO YOU MAKE
YOUR OWN DEODORANT? NO. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF ANYBODY
THAT DOES? WELL,
I'M ONE OF THOSE GUYS, 'CAUSE I CAN SAVE QUITE A BIT
OF MONEY DOING IT THIS WAY. $16.49? TRY THIS ONE.
IT'S A GOOD BRAND. NOW, CAN YOU DO ANY BETTER
ON THE PRICE FOR ME? I THINK
THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD PRICE. PEOPLE ASK ME A LOT OF TIMES, "HOW OFTEN DO YOU ACTUALLY GET
A DISCOUNT ON SOMETHING?" I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVEN'T MEASURED IT. MAYBE 10% OF THE TIME,
BUT I ALMOST ALWAYS TRY. WHAT ABOUT
A NICE-GUY DISCOUNT? UH... YOU KNOW, I'M A NICE GUY. [ CHUCKLES ] JEFF'S HAGGLING TACTICS
WERE INTERESTING. I TRY TO ECONOMIZE
HOWEVER I CAN. MAYBE 50 CENTS. I THINK IT'S STILL
REALLY WELL-PRICED, BUT I COULD GIVE YOU
50 CENTS OFF. I APPRECIATE THAT. THAT'S A VERY GENEROUS OFFER,
BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT A DOLLAR? A DOLLAR -- IT'S SOLD. COME ON. MY ARMPITS
WILL THANK YOU. YES. SOLD. OKAY, GREAT.
I APPRECIATE IT. I DON'T THINK IT HURTS
TO ASK FOR A DISCOUNT. I GAVE HIM A DISCOUNT
OF A DOLLAR. YEAH, YOU REALLY MADE MY DAY
BY GIVING ME A DISCOUNT ON THAT. HE'S PRETTY CHARMING,
SO IT WORKED. HEY, EXPIRED PRODUCTS. YEP. ARE THEY FREE? YEP. ALL OF THEM? HELP YOURSELF. AH, TOMATOES.
MAKING OUT LIKE A BANDIT. $8.49. $8.49? YEP. DEAL. [ CASH REGISTER DINGS ] THANKS AGAIN. THANK YOU.
HERE YOU GO. HAVE A GOOD DAY. HEY, ARE THESE SAMPLES FREE? Christina: YES. WOW. THIS IS GREAT. THANKS. I'VE BEEN LIVING WHAT I CALL
THE CHEAPSKATE LIFESTYLE MOST OF MY ADULT LIFE. BECAUSE I SPEND LESS, BOTH MY WIFE AND I RETIRED
WHILE WE WERE IN OUR 40s. I LIKE TO MAKE
MY OWN DEODORANT -- A WAY TO SAVE SOME MONEY,
AND IT'S REALLY ALL NATURAL. THE GOOD THING
ABOUT CORNSTARCH IS IT NATURALLY ABSORBS MOISTURE,
SO IT'S KEEPING YOU DRY. AND BAKING SODA IS, OF COURSE,
GREAT FOR ELIMINATING ODORS. IT'S GONNA KEEP MY PITS DRY
FOR A LONG TIME. THIS IS THAT COCONUT OIL -- PROBABLY BEST JUST TO GET
IN THERE WITH YOUR HAND. THEN I LIKE TO PACK IT
INSIDE A TOILET-PAPER TUBE. IT'S SORT OF LIKE
A PUSH-UP DEODORANT STICK. PUT IT IN THE REFRIGERATOR
OVERNIGHT. IT'LL HARDEN. YOU'RE GETTING PROBABLY THREE
OR FOUR TIMES THE VALUE OF DEODORANT THAT YOU GET
IN A COMMERCIAL DEODORANT. ONCE IT'S SET UP AND HARDENED
IN THE REFRIGERATOR, YOU CAN USE IT. WE SAVE A LOT OF MONEY
AT OUR HOUSE BY MAKING ALL OF
OUR HOME CLEANING PRODUCTS. I JUST LIKE TO MAKE,
OUT OF WATER AND BAKING SODA, A SIMPLE CLEANER -- USE IT FOR COUNTERTOPS, ALMOST EVERYTHING
AROUND THE HOUSE. VINEGAR, OF COURSE,
MIXED WITH A LITTLE WATER IS GREAT
TO CLEAN YOUR WINDOWS WITH -- NOTHING BETTER THAN THAT. AND HERE'S A KICK --
THE BEST TOILET CLEANER I KNOW IS ACTUALLY JUST BAKING SODA
AND VINEGAR MIXED TOGETHER. AND IT'S KIND OF FUN, TOO, 'CAUSE IT'S SORT OF
A MOUNT VESUVIUS EFFECT. I'M GUESSING THAT WE SPEND
PROBABLY ONLY 25% WHAT THE TYPICAL AMERICAN FAMILY
DOES ON CLEANING SUPPLIES. I HATE TO THROW AWAY WATER. I HATE TO JUST PUT IT
DOWN THE DRAIN. YOU'VE INVESTED ALL THAT MONEY
IN HEATING IT UP -- YOU MAY AS WELL
GET SOME USE OUT OF IT. WHENEVER YOU HAVE BOILING WATER, IT'S REALLY DEADLY SCALDING
ONTO PLANTS OF ANY TYPE, SO IF YOU HAVE WEEDS THAT
YOU DON'T WANT IN THE BACKYARD, JUST POUR THE BOILING WATER
ON THEM, AND THAT KILLS THEM OVERNIGHT. DOING SOMETHING AS SIMPLE
AS POURING BOILING WATER SAVES YOU A LOT OF MONEY
OVER THE LONG RUN BY NOT HAVING TO BUY
EXPENSIVE PESTICIDES, TOO. THESE ARE MY FAVORITE SHORTS.
I GOT THEM FOR FREE. I STAYED AT A HOTEL,
FORGOT MY SWIM TRUNKS, ASKED IF THEY HAD ANYTHING
IN THEIR LOST AND FOUND. THE WOMAN BROUGHT THESE OUT.
THEY'RE JUST MY SIZE. SHE SAID, "KEEP THEM.
THEY'RE YOURS." MY WIFE -- OF COURSE,
SHE'S SAYING, "WELL, THINK
WHO PROBABLY WORE THOSE." I'M SAYING, "IT'S THE SAME GUY
THAT SLEPT IN THE BED THAT WE'RE SLEEPING IN
THIS EVENING, HONEY." ABSOLUTELY FREE --
MY FAVORITE SHORTS. THEY WEREN'T STAINED LIKE THIS
AT THE TIME. I WAS SURPRISED -- I WAS OUT
IN THE YARD WITH MY COMPUTER -- THAT I COULD GET
THE NEIGHBOR'S WI-FI SIGNAL. SO, A LIGHT BULB CAME ON. I'M THINKING, "WHY ARE WE BOTH
PAYING FOR SERVICE IF I CAN PICK UP THEIR SIGNAL
FROM HERE?" HEY, YOU KNOW,
I WAS SITTING OUT IN MY YARD, AND I NOTICED THAT I COULD GET
YOUR INTERNET SIGNAL OVER AT MY PLACE. OH, MY GOODNESS.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW,
I WAS WONDERING, IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU GUYS
WOULD BE WILLING TO -- MAYBE WE'LL SPLIT THE BILL,
AND WE'LL JUST USE YOUR ACCOUNT. UH, UH...
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. Elizabeth: WELL, WHEN JEFF
ASKED ME ABOUT THE WI-FI, MY FIRST THOUGHT IS
PEOPLE GETTING ON YOUR E-MAIL, PEOPLE STEALING YOUR I.D.
AND STUFF LIKE THAT. I'M THINKING, "GEEZ, IF WE LET
SOMEBODY ELSE ONTO OUR NET, YOU KNOW, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?" WILL YOU AT LEAST ASK
YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT IT? UM, I'LL ASK HIM, BUT, YOU KNOW,
HE'S A SCOTSMAN, AND HE WANTS HIS OWN STUFF,
AND HE DOESN'T LIKE TO SHARE. I WOULD BE VERY EMBARRASSED TO ASK SOMEBODY
TO SPLIT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. BUT WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO SEE
MY E-MAIL AND WHERE I'M GOING? I DON'T --
I DON'T THINK SO, BUT, I MEAN, EVEN IF I COULD,
I WOULDN'T LOOK. [ Laughing ] I'M SUPPOSED TO
TRUST YOU ON THAT? JEFF IS A GREAT GUY
AND A WONDERFUL NEIGHBOR, BUT SOMETIMES HE JUST GOES
A LITTLE BIT TOO FAR. MY HUSBAND --
HE REALLY DOESN'T LIKE THAT, AND I'M NOT TOO SURE I DO,
EITHER. OH, OKAY.
WELL, THANKS A LOT. OKAY. HAVE A GOOD DAY. Jeff: YOU KNOW,
I RESPECT THEIR DECISION NOT TO WANT TO BE A PARTY
WITH A CHEAPSKATE LIKE ME. MAYBE THEY'LL RECONSIDER
IN THE FUTURE. I TRAVEL A LOT, BUT I RARELY
PAY FOR A PLACE TO STAY, AND I TRAVEL ON THE CHEAP. [ Telephone rings ] STACEY: Hello? HI. STACEY? Hi. JEFF YEAGER. Hi, Jeff.
How are you? A GREAT WAY TO TAKE A VACATION
THAT'S SORT OF 95% FREE IS TO DO SOMETHING
LIKE RIDE YOUR BICYCLE AND COUCH-SURF WITH FRIENDS. HEY, I'M CALLING WITH
A LITTLE FAVOR TO ASK. I'M GONNA TAKE A BIKE TRIP
THIS WEEKEND DOWN TOWARDS
YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS. ANY CHANCE I CAN CRASH
ON THE WILSON COUCH? You want to sleep
on my couch? Narrator: COMING UP... Jeff: I OFFERED TO COOK STACEY
AND HER FAMILY A SPECIAL DINNER, BUT I HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO DO IT ON THE CHEAP. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR THOSE? 4 BUCKS? I MUST BE
IN THE HIGH-RENT DISTRICT. WHERE'S THE CHEAP STUFF? Jeff:
YOU KNOW, I LOVE TO TRAVEL. PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY,
"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD IT?" RATHER THAN STAY AT A HOTEL,
I STAY WITH PEOPLE I KNOW. I CRASH ON THEIR COUCH,
AND I WOULD BET IT SAVES ME AT LEAST 50% OFF
THE TOTAL COST OF TRAVEL. [ Telephone rings ] STACEY: Hello? HI. STACEY? Hi. JEFF YEAGER. Hi, Jeff.
How are you? I ORIGINALLY MET
THE WILSONS ONLINE. IT'S FUNNY,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT PEOPLE -- THEIR BIG CONCERN ABOUT
MEETING SOMEBODY ONLINE IS, FOR GOD'S SAKE,
THEY'LL SHOW UP IN REAL LIFE. CAN I STAY
WITH YOU GUYS? You want to sleep
on my couch? IT'S JUST ONE NIGHT. Okay. OKAY?
AND HERE'S THE DEAL -- I'M GONNA COOK YOU GUYS
A SPECIAL DINNER WHEN I GET DOWN THERE. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE A GUY
LIKE ME SLEEP ON THEIR COUCH? WELL, I'LL SEE YOU SOON. See you soon. TAKE CARE. Bye. WHAT KIND OF HOUSEGUEST
WOULD I BE IF I DIDN'T BRING A LITTLE GIFT? KNOWING THE WILSONS' KIDS,
I THOUGHT THEY'D GET
A KICK OUT OF -- INSTEAD OF BUYING SOMETHING,
I MAYBE MADE THEM SOMETHING. SO I WENT THROUGH
SOME OF MY OWN TRASH, AND I FOUND
SOME INTERESTING THINGS. MARTHA STEWART I AIN'T. I MADE CELESTE, THE DAUGHTER, A NEAT LITTLE PURSE
OUT OF A PLASTIC MILK JUG. IT'S STARTING TO LOOK
MORE LIKE A PURSE. I'M LIKING WHAT I SEE. SORT OF IN THE SAME THEME, I DECIDED I'D MAKE ISAAC,
THE WILSONS' SON, A NICE LITTLE BILLFOLD
OUT OF OLD BICYCLE INNER TUBES, OF WHICH I HAVE A LOT OF. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEIR FACES
WHEN THEY OPEN THESE PRESENTS. THE GREAT THING ABOUT THE GIFTS
I MADE FOR THE WILSON FAMILY WAS THAT IT DIDN'T COST ME
A DIME. I PROBABLY KNOCKED OUT
ALL THE GIFTS IN LESS THAN AN HOUR TOTAL. THE WILSONS LIVE
ABOUT 70 MILES AWAY, BUT I'LL SAVE ON GAS BECAUSE
I'M GONNA RIDE MY BICYCLE THERE. OVER THE COURSE OF MY LIFETIME, I'VE BICYCLED NOW
ALMOST 95,000 MILES. PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO DRIVE A CAR. IT COSTS 50 CENTS TO A DOLLAR
PER MILE TO ACTUALLY OWN A CAR
AND DRIVE IT DOWN THE ROAD. SO, THE WILSONS LIVE 70 MILES
FROM WHERE I DO, SO I SAVED AT LEAST $35 EACH WAY
BY BICYCLING. I OFFERED TO COOK STACEY
AND HER FAMILY A SPECIAL DINNER, BUT I HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO DO IT ON THE CHEAP. I TRY, IN MY OWN LIFE, TO SPEND UNDER A DOLLAR A POUND
FOR THE FOOD I BUY. WHAT DO YOU GET
FOR THOSE CRABS? I HAVE THE LARGE FEMALES
AT $18. [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] $20 A DOZEN? YEAH, BROTHER. SO, WHAT ABOUT
THESE SOFT-SHELLS HERE? WHAT DO YOU WANT
FOR THOSE? 4 BUCKS? I MUST BE
IN THE HIGH-RENT DISTRICT. $50 FOR 2 POUNDS
OF JUMBO LUMP? WHERE'S THE CHEAP STUFF? $7.45? I MEAN, IT LOOKS GOOD,
BUT $7.45 A POUND -- I MEAN,
IS IT GOLD OR WHAT? NOW THESE PRICES
ARE STARTING TO LOOK BETTER -- $2.87 A POUND. I'M GETTING THERE.
I'M GETTING THERE. HEADING DOWN THIS WAY
FOR SOMETHING LESS EXPENSIVE. WHAT DO YOU GOT --
CATFISH FOR 99? OKAY. HOLY SMOKES! WELL, HERE'S
YOUR FRESH SALMON. THE CARCASS
HAS JUST BEEN FILLETED. WOW. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
WHAT DO THESE GO FOR? YEAH, WE GOT THE STEAKS
AND FILLETS AND... WHAT DO THEY GO FOR? THEY'RE GOING FOR
LIKE $2 EACH. WHAT IF I BUY
EVERYTHING YOU HAVE HERE? YOU'LL THROW THE HEADS IN
FOR FREE? HECK, YEAH.
I'LL THROW IT IN. WELL, CAN I DO $3
ON THESE TOTAL? YOU CAN DO $3. LET'S SEE
WHAT YOU'RE GETTING HERE. OH, YEAH. 3 POUNDS --
A LITTLE OVER 3. YEAH, I THINK YOU DONE
REAL GOOD. CLOSE TO 10 POUNDS
OF MEAT... WOW. ...FOR $3. YOU REALLY CAN'T BEAT IT,
CAN YOU? HE'S A SMART SHOPPER. HE KNEW A FRESH FISH
FROM JUST A TYPICAL DAILY FISH. SALMON CARCASS --
IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER TONIGHT. THAT'S A BEAUTY. THANKS AGAIN
FOR THE GREAT DEAL. NICE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU. STAY CHEAP, BROTHER. STAY CHEAP. NO PROBLEM.
ENJOY IT. TAKE CARE! Jeff:
I HAVE TO INTRODUCE THE WILSONS TO THE CHEAPSKATE DELICACY
WHICH IS THE SALMON CARCASS. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] HEY, FOLKS! HI, JEFF! SO, WHERE AM I STAYING? COME ON IN.
I'LL SHOW YOU. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. NO. THAT'S WHAT I WAS LOOK--
OH, THAT'S A BEAUTY, TOO. THERE YOU GO. JUST MY SIZE. WELL, WE'LL LET YOU
GET SETTLED AND... FEEL FREE
TO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. KITCHEN'S IN THERE.
BATHROOM'S OVER THERE. THANKS. OOH, I BETTER GET THAT
IN THE FRIDGE. SOMETIMES,
PEOPLE LIKE THE WILSONS THINK I'M A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT WHAT I'VE FOUND IS
THAT THEY LET ME TEACH THEM A LITTLE SOMETHING
ABOUT SAVING MONEY. THEY DON'T ADOPT
EVERYTHING I DO, BUT THEY'VE CERTAINLY PICKED UP
SOME TIPS OVER THE YEARS. [ Laughing ]
WHAT YOU DOING IN HERE? I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
I'M MAKING MYSELF AT HOME. YOU KNOW,
I HAVE SOMETHING SPE-- I TOLD YOU
I WOULD TREAT YOU TO DINNER. WELL, I'VE GOT
SOMETHING SPECIAL HERE. OH, MY GOD. SALMON CARCASS. [ CHUCKLES ] IT'S A TERRIFIC VALUE. I BOUGHT THEM
AT THE SEAFOOD MARKET. I DON'T WANT TO BRAG,
BUT I ONLY PAID 3 BUCKS. Tim: OH, WONDERFUL. YOU LOVE FISH --
YOU KNOW YOU DO. SALMON CARCASS. YEAH, I GOT THESE
AT THE SEAFOOD MARKET -- TWO FOR $3, AND HE THREW IN
TWO FREE HEADS WITH IT. YOU REALLY CAN'T BEAT IT. AND ALL THE WHILE, THEY'RE
SELLING SALMON FILLETS -- WHAT CAME OFF OF THIS --
FOR $7.99 A POUND. Isaac: I WAS LIKE,
"WHAT IS THAT FISH DOING THERE? ISN'T IT GONNA STINK UP
THE ENTIRE HOUSE?" THIS WAS 10 POUNDS OF MEAT
FOR $3. I WAS GLAD THAT IT WASN'T
SOMETHING THAT HE PICKED UP OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
ON HIS WAY HERE. Celeste:
THE DINNER MIGHT BE A LITTLE... INTERESTING. Narrator: COMING UP... HOLY SMOKES! YOU WANT TO LOOK THROUGH
THE TRASH? YEAH. Jeff: AMAZING WHAT YOUR TRASH
HAS TO TELL YOU. HE'S GOING THROUGH
MY TRASH. IT WAS SO GREAT
OF MY FRIENDS THE WILSONS TO PUT ME UP FOR THE NIGHT. Isaac:
JEFF, WHAT ARE YOU MAKING? Jeff: I'M GOING TO REPAY THAT
AND INTRODUCE THEM TO THE CHEAPSKATE DELICACY
WHICH IS THE SALMON CARCASS. IT'LL BE DELICIOUS.
TRUST ME. WONDERFUL. Jeff:
GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE. OKAY, JEFF.
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER. YOU WANT TO HELP OUT? UM... SURE. YOU HELP. I'LL CLEAN THE FISH HEADS, BUT, I MEAN, YOU COULD PEEL
THE POTATOES MAYBE. BUT I THINK WHAT I'LL DO
WITH THESE TWO IS JUST BAKE THEM
IN THE OVEN SO WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN
PICKING THEM -- PICKING THEM APART. SURE. YOU KNOW, DO YOU HAVE
ANY ALUMINUM FOIL FOR THAT? I KNOW
YOU GUYS ARE FRUGAL, BUT I WOULD ALWAYS BE
SAVING THAT ALUMINUM FOIL AND REUSING IT. WELL, YOU CAN BET
WE'RE GONNA SAVE THIS ONE AFTER WE COOK
THOSE SALMON HEADS. IF NOTHING ELSE,
YOUR CAT WILL LIKE IT. SO, WE'RE JUST MAKING A STOCK
OUT OF THOSE. Celeste: I'M GONNA TRY IT, BUT I'M NOT SURE
WHAT IT'S GONNA TASTE LIKE. WHEN YOU START WITH A CARCASS,
YOU REALLY CAN'T GO WRONG. TRUST ME.
THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD. STACEY, WHERE DO YOU KEEP
YOUR TRASH? IT'S RIGHT
UNDER THE SINK. THIS IS YOUR TRASH? THAT'S MY TRASH. HOLY SMOKES! YOU MIND
IF I HAVE A LOOK? YOU WANT TO LOOK THROUGH
THE TRASH? ONE OF THE THINGS
I LIKE TO DO -- I CALL IT
A TRASH-CAN AUTOPSY -- IS LOOK THROUGH PEOPLE'S TRASH TO SEE HOW THEY'RE SPENDING
AND PROBABLY WASTING MONEY. IT'S SORT OF LIKE
A CHEAPSKATE ARCHAEOLOGICAL DIG. HE'S GOING THROUGH
MY TRASH. OHH! ALMOST 25% OF THE FOOD
THAT AMERICANS BUY ENDS UP IN THE GARBAGE. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT -- THAT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF ONE POUND PER PERSON
PER DAY. THESE ARE CEREAL BAGS. THESE ARE GREAT TO REUSE TO WRAP LEFTOVERS IN
AND EVERYTHING ELSE. YOU CAN'T BUY
THAT DURABLE A PLASTIC BAG. WHAT ABOUT THIS --
ONION BAG? IT'S GREAT TO BRING TO THE BEACH
TO PUT WET CLOTHES IN... YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. ...OR THE POOL. WRAP THEM UP LIKE THAT, AND YOU GOT THE ULTIMATE
KITCHEN PAN SCRUBBER. TRY THAT. I'LL TRY THAT. NOW, HERE WE HAVE A PEACH PIT. AND OF COURSE, YOU CAN CARVE
THESE INTO A KEY CHAIN. BUT THE POINT
I'D LIKE TO MAKE IS THE PEACH PIT IS REALLY GOOD TO
RUB THE BOTTOM OF YOUR FEET WITH TO REMOVE CALLUSES. I'M GONNA GET
THIS TRASH PICKED UP. BY THE WAY, I SEE
SOME POPCORN KERNELS THERE. YOU SHOULD REALLY POP IT
A LITTLE BIT LONGER. Stacey: I WASN'T QUITE SURE
WHAT HE WAS GONNA FIND. I'M GLAD THERE WASN'T ANYTHING
IN THERE TOO DISGUSTING. I THINK WE'LL DEFINITELY THINK
A LITTLE BIT MORE IN THE FUTURE BEFORE WE THROW THINGS OUT. A LITTLE OVERCOOKED. I HOPE THEY'RE HUNGRY. THAT'S A PRETTY DISH. I WOULD SAY I SPENT UNDER $10 TO MAKE THAT MEAL
FOR THE WILSONS. COME AND GET IT!
IT'S CHOWDER TIME! Stacey: IS EVERYBODY GONNA EAT
WHAT JEFF IS MAKING TONIGHT? I DOUBT MY SON WILL EAT IT. HE WILL PROBABLY NOT COME
ANYWHERE NEAR IT. IT'S FISH.
IT HAS A HEAD LOOKING AT HIM. I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA EAT IT. Narrator: COMING UP... DIG IN. Tim:
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, JEFF. NOT FEELING WELL, ISAAC?
LET'S DO IT. I CAN'T WATCH THIS. WHAT'S WRONG, ISAAC? I SPENT A PLEASANT NIGHT
AT THE WILSONS' HOUSE. I COOKED THEM
A COUPLE OF SALMON CARCASSES. COME AND GET IT!
IT'S CHOWDER TIME! CAN I GET THE BOWLS THERE?
LET ME DISH THEM UP. IS THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU,
CELESTE? SURE. YEAH. ISAAC, BIG BOWL? [ LAUGHTER ] I MIGHT TRY IT,
BUT IF I DON'T LIKE IT, I'M SPITTING IT OUT
AND IT'S GOING INTO THE SINK. Jeff:
YOU KNOW, IT'S CRAZY AND SAD THAT FISH
HAS BECOME SO EXPENSIVE BECAUSE IT'S SO HEALTHY FOR YOU. AND IT USED TO BE DIRT CHEAP --
SORT OF THE CHEAP MAN'S MEAT. NOW IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE. DIG IN! [ LAUGHS ] MOM CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. NOT FEELING WELL, ISAAC? WE CAN GET INTO THOSE HEADS NOW
IF YOU WANT. I KNOW YOU CAN'T WAIT
ANY LONGER. THE ANTICIPATION.
AND LOOK AT ALL THAT MEAT. THERE YOU GO -- A LITTLE --
LITTLE TREAT FOR YOU. YOU KNOW, THE THING IS
WITH THESE CARCASSES THAT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER IS
THERE'S A LOT OF FAT -- CAN YOU STOP USING
THE WORD "CARCASS"? [ LAUGHING ] WHAT WOULD YOU PREFER --
"SKELETONS"? THERE'S A PIECE OF MEAT --
SEE IT RIGHT THERE? UH-HUH. YOU WANT THAT? BECAUSE THEY'RE SO SMALL,
THEY'RE PRECIOUS. IT'S JUST ONE OF
THOSE CHEAPSKATE THINGS IS WE CAN'T BEAR TO THROW OUT EVEN JUST A LITTLE SMIDGEN
OF SOMETHING. YOU READY TO GO? ALL RIGHTY. IT SEEMS REALLY AWFUL --
WITH THE FISH HEADS. IT'S JUST GROSS. LET'S DO IT. I CAN'T WATCH THIS. WHAT'S WRONG, ISAAC? I HAD TO GET UP AND LEAVE
BECAUSE IT WAS SO AWFUL. I DIDN'T LIKE IT. BOY, WE'VE LAID WASTE
TO THAT. THAT WAS GREAT.
THANKS. THANKS. I'VE GOT TO GO
CHECK ON ISAAC. PERSONALLY, I DID NOT LIKE
DINNER AT ALL -- JUST COMPLETELY GROSSED ME OUT. Stacey:
MY SON NEARLY PUKED. OH, IT WAS -- IT WAS REPULSIVE. I REALLY WANTED TO GIVE LITTLE
TOKENS OF MY APPRECIATION. LET ME GET
THE WHOLE WILSON FAMILY RIGHT ON THE COUCH THERE. A FEW LITTLE SURPRISES. Stacey: OH, NO. Tim: WHAT GIFTS
DID YOU BRING US NOW, JEFF? I BROUGHT A FEW GIFTS
FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
I MADE IT MYSELF. Stacey: [ LAUGHS ] WHAT IS THIS? IT'S SORT OF A LITTLE PURSE. OH. OKAY. AND IT'S MADE OUT OF
A ONE-GALLON MILK CARTON. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? OH, WOW. I MIGHT USE IT. MY FRIENDS MIGHT QUESTION IT
A LITTLE BIT. LET'S SEE. I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU
THERE, ISAAC. HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL MAKE UP
FOR THE SALMON SOUP. SORRY ABOUT THE WRAPPING. THAT'S WHAT
I WAS TALKING ABOUT -- REPURPOSED ALUMINUM FOIL. SAVE THAT. WHAT? Celeste: IT'S A WALLET. IT'S A WALLET MADE
OUT OF BICYCLE INNER TUBES. OH, MY GOD! I FIGURED, YOU KNOW, THERE'S
NOTHING A CHEAPSKATE HATES MORE THAN SPENDING GOOD MONEY
ON SOMEPLACE TO KEEP YOUR MONEY. I'M NOT SURE IF I'D USE IT BECAUSE IT SEEMS REALLY WEIRD
RATHER THAN, LIKE, A GIFT. AND I DO HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOU, STACEY AND TIM. I MADE THIS MYSELF
OUT OF AN ALUMINUM CAN. IT'S A LITTLE CANDLE
FOR THE DINING-ROOM TABLE. SET THE AMBIANCE
FOR DINNER. Jeff: WELL, I THINK
THEIR INITIAL REACTION WAS, "THIS IS SORT OF ODD -- THAT IT'S MADE
OUT OF JEFF'S TRASH." WELL, THANK YOU, JEFF. I'M SORRY.
WE DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING. OH, YOU GOT ME THE COUCH FOR --
YOU'RE SITTING ON MY BED. OKAY. AND YOU KNOW,
I GO TO BED EARLY. OKAY.
WELL, THAT'S FINE. CAN WE HELP YOU
SET UP THE BED HERE? NO, NO. I CAN GET IT.
I GOT IT. ALL RIGHT. THANKS A LOT. WELL, GOOD NIGHT. SLEEP TIGHT. [ SIGHS ] THE WILSONS
ARE 25 CENTS RICHER. Jeff: THIS WHOLE TRIP
TO THE WILSONS' -- TWO DAYS TOTAL. BETWEEN TRAVEL, FOOD,
NO COST FOR ACCOMMODATION -- I'D SAY IT COST ME 30 BUCKS. THANKS SO MUCH
FOR HAVING ME. IT'S BEEN A GREAT TIME. Tim: THANKS FOR COMING. TIM. TAKE CARE, JEFF. ALWAYS A PLEASURE. ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. I THINK IT WAS
A GREAT EXPERIENCE HAVING JEFF
COME AND STAY WITH US. HE MIGHT DO
SOME REALLY UNUSUAL THINGS. Celeste: I THOUGHT JEFF BEING
HERE WAS PRETTY INTERESTING. I'M PROBABLY NOT GONNA
EAT SALMON EVER AGAIN. I HAD A BLAST
STAYING WITH THE WILSONS. Tim: I KIND OF EXPECTED SOME OF THE WEIRD THINGS
HE BROUGHT OUT TODAY, BUT SOME OF THE NEW THINGS HE SHOWED US THESE LAST TWO DAYS
HAVE BEEN GREAT. I LIKE TO THINK THAT, WHENEVER I SHOW UP
ON SOMEBODY'S DOORSTEP AND THEY'RE KIND ENOUGH
TO LET ME CRASH ON THEIR COUCH, THAT I CAN REPAY THAT BY GIVING
LESSONS IN THRIFT AND FRUGALITY THAT THEY DON'T PREVIOUSLY HAVE. SO, I MEAN, I THINK,
SUFFICE IT TO SAY, AT LEAST NOW THEY KNOW HOW
YOU CAN COOK A SALMON CARCASS.
