Jay Shetty & Radhi Devlukia-Shetty Answer All Your Questions About Love | Vogue India

hi Vogue I'm Jay Shetty purpose coach author and podcaster and I'm Riley devlukia Chef content creator and entrepreneur and this is all about love so here's how it's going to go we've got a lot of questions from the Vogue community and Ravi and I are going to attempt to answer these questions what lessons would you impart to your younger self on love um yeah it's not all like Bollywood and you have to work on yourself before you think about getting into a relationship with someone else we derive different kinds of love from different people some people speak to the passionate side of us while others fulfill us emotionally how does one navigate experiencing these various forms of love in the modern world I think it's really beautiful that we have so many different types of love in our life The Vedas talk about five different types of love the Greeks talk about seven different types of love and I think that the more love we can have in our life the better I think the love that you feel from your parents is different to your siblings is different to your own children and that's what makes love so beautiful and allows it to be 360 in our lives I love that what is your love language and your partner's love language all right let's let's guess each other's okay okay so yours yeah I know okay is words of affirmation and physical tests yes well yeah okay I think I know the other ones as well yours is um quality time use this gift yes speaking of relationships do you feel that you have a healthy relationship with social media that's the perfect question for you I think I have a healthy relationship with social media I actually waited until 2014 before I ever had a social media account in my entire life and when I finally joined I think I've been able to create a balance where we have no technology times and no technology zones where I avoid going on social media first thing in the morning lasting at night I think I think I do have a healthy relationship I'd say so many you don't agree know you do you actually do you're not a scroller like that I feel like you scroll if you need to for like absorbing but I don't and understanding but I don't think that you're a Mindless stroller I think we've come such a long way from the fairy tale ending that Disney and rom-coms used to sell us what do you think makes a modern happily ever after being okay it's something actually you say which I completely agree with it's being okay with not you're marrying the person at the time or you're in a relationship and the person you start a relationship with someone with who they are then and then you have to be open and allow them to grow into a different person and constantly keep relearning who they are like the same thing you have to do with yourself you have to be open in allowing that person to change and also changing and loving them for who they are as they continue to grow not expecting them to still be that same person I think that's a healthy way to grow all together it's a good answer yeah thanks that's from here we've pivoted from thinking of being with one person forever to being with one person for the present is the concept of the one a myth so I saw a study that said that 70 of people believe in soul mates which is this idea that we want to find this one person who's perfect for us and made for us and I think that that actually misleads us I think relationships are so much more about finding a person and making it work with them rather than trying to find this perfect person where you don't have to do any work I think that's a myth yeah and I also think that it's you can be in relationship after relationship and that has taught you so much along the way to then create and know what you want in that final person so I don't know whether that that helps but I love that awesome all right next question what are some of your biggest red flags um okay so biggest red flags for me back then uh would have been someone who can't make me laugh or like take a good joke because I like a bit of banter and also communication like I realize how important that is to be able to communicate how you're feeling what you like what you don't like um and just be open and honest as time goes on it's hard to do that at the beginning but I think if you start off like that it allows you to continue it and then maybe a third one would be ghosting I feel like that's like a big thing now everyone just ghosts everyone as a gen Zia exploring the dating scene I find myself in situationships now what do you think of this new form of dating so I think that situationships are things that we put ourselves into they're not something that you're put into and it's because we want someone to be with us but then they don't really want to be with us so they're not being clear and I think it goes back to the red flags if anyone's playing games with you or not being clear with you about where you stand with them then you can't be with them and so it's better for you to know where you stand with someone rather than forcing them to be in your life or make a decision they're not ready to make so I think it's better to know whether you're single whether you're dating whether you're exclusive or not rather than end up in this messy situationship which is actually very confusing and sometimes you end up in those because you're not ready to be alone yet like you don't want to be alone and so you're kind of settling for something that is half there and half not rather than being okay with maybe a longer period where you're just by yourself and inviting like rather than settling waiting to receive the person and the energy that you actually need and and should deserve I love that all right Randy I should have written your book I know great answer how does one deal with rejection in the fast-paced dating scene expect it I think the problem is what we are dating we don't expect rejection and that makes it even worse when someone finally says no and you're like oh well you know so I think expect it expect that if you know if you're in a fast-paced dating scene you're going to see a lot of people a lot of people gonna say no to you you're gonna say no to a lot of people as well I think we've realized that when we give other people the permission to say no we're giving ourselves the permission to be like you're not right for me or you're not my type or whatever it may be and so I think expect it know that it's going to happen know that when you're meeting so many people or you're on dating apps and you're coming across so many people there will likely be people who don't want to be with you what according to you is being present in a relationship um I think obviously having that quality time where it's just you without your phone without any other distractions really truly listening to the other person and and having conversations where you're being attentive but even more than I think day to day it's the the little things like the things that you notice that they might need in the day or like you do that so much with me where you know even if I'm getting up to get something like what should I what should I get you or what do you need what are you getting up for it's like the little things that can that someone show up you show up for someone on a day-to-day basis just noticing the things that they may be lacking in the day or how they're feeling and trying to support them in those those subtle ways just shows that someone's paying attention to you and I think that's you know a big sign of presence what should you do when you and your partner never agree on what to eat the thing is even though I love food more I'm terrible at making decisions so it's always you that ends up having to choose but I don't want to choose but you don't want the food expert I know you know what I said I'm always like make whatever because I love everything you make yeah so when I say if in doubt order pizza that's pretty much my answer that's a good go-to yeah thanks yeah um tell us about the differences between chemistry and compatibility and how one can be mindful of spotting them in order to embrace and achieve a more authentic aware relationship so I think a lot of us look at love as chemistry you feel that spark the butterflies in your stomach you feel that immediate attraction when I first met Robbie I felt that immediately if you ask her she was like meh she didn't she didn't really feel about it what was it it was like oh he's cool it wasn't even that but uh what I find is that chemistry is just one quarter of the puzzle so it's chemistry compatibility connection with yourself and character so the other three things make a relationship lost chemistry gets a relationship started but compatibility character and connection with your own self is what makes a relationship last it's really good is that your book yes Vegas thank you all so much for tuning in and watching us answer all your questions yeah it was so great to answer so many of them we really hope that some of these answers help thank you

Channel: VOGUE India

Views: 524,014

Keywords: 8 rules of love, all about love, couple questions, couples, dating and relationships, dating questions, indian couples, jay and radhi shetty couples questions, jay shetty, jay shetty and radhi, jay shetty's book, love advice, love and relationship questions, love questions, radhi devlukia-shetty, rapid fire questions, relationship advice, relationship questions, relationships, vogue india, vogue india jay shetty

Id: QMtmy1r9oHs

Length: 8min 48sec (528 seconds)

Published: Fri May 05 2023