JAY LENO - HEADLINES!

don't quite get this 29.88 solid wood mirror i don't have to worry about cracking that baby has a ge gas range excellent condition 10 years old dead mouse and insulation i don't want to take the mouse out just put it in the ad you'd be fine kev i see why you're a vegetarian look at that hell of a deal fried lizard quarter pound 66 cents at least it's fried you know that's good it's fried yeah it's bad for you i realize cigarette butts are a big problem but you know could they have phrased this a little bit better eerie times news little white butts litter beach [Applause] starting a neighborhood watch program i think that's good you have a neighborhood watch you have somebody in the neighborhood that gets out there and keeps an eye on things send suspicious i don't know if these are the guys you want be in your neighborhood watch commanders but look at kind of yeah see anything lefty no nothing boss who says celebrities are not intellectuals huh madonna reads her second book [Applause] open house new homes 160 thousand and then look at the fine print actual home not pictured why put a picture in there here's the original pancake house if you don't know how to get the original pancake house there's a map right there that's easy enough to follow huh yeah as you see there's no entrance to the star you just keep driving around in circles found larger white poodle resembling a dog [Applause] this person uses a very coy free to good home female cats one no tail one piece of tail yeah you the lady with the cat for sale you know we've just given up now we just our kids are so fat now they don't even try to pretend look large kid's favorite pizza i mean if you're a large kid every pizza's your favorite pizza isn't it pretty much his gatlinburg honeymoon specials exciting honeymoon specials cabins that sleep up to eight people well that's a hell of a that's it that's a hell of a honeymoon isn't it yeah that's a honeymoon you won't forget you know i'm sure this is a very good restaurant i'm sure they have delicious food it's just sometimes the name of the restaurant is just enough to keep people away this look it's salmonella's come on down try the chicken special at salmonella's yeah delicious salmonella i love this one congratulations to shannon and chris not pictured look apparently apparently shannon and chris so unattractive they just put some nice looking people in the shot this lady laughs it says performance for a princess oh if there's linda zag five sits on her dad's shoulders as they watch the human table of death street performance in this holiday season what says christmas more than taking your five-year-old to see the human table of death performance governor ehrlich's vowed to block same-sex marriages i like his quote there he said he opposes measures that seek to criminalize gay sex saying that the government really should not be sticking its nose into consenting adults now that to me that sounds like sodomy to me sticking your nose into consenting adults that's just plain wrong yes this is an ad for the uh sheriff of marion county i guess as you can see it says we pledge to serve with honor and diligently protect the quality of life of marion county through community policing our core values neatness brotherhood pride shame all right nine out of ten is not bad you know people are so stupid they're just idiots just morons lawyers here's bobbing for apple's tin everyone will seem like everybody looks like a party this fall with a set of four floating apples look please okay but look what it says please do not bob for apples when lit can you get a out please do not bob for apples when led hey my eyes on fire one thing about security cameras boy they catch you see these kids they rob a 7-eleven or they rob a quick mart or something like that i got that two-busted and grocery theft scheme there they are trying to escape trying to sneak out [Music] [Laughter] we'll just tiptoe out the back here kind of sick puppy is this guy there's a teacher barbie for sale no panties two hundred dollars how do you even call that ad in i mean uh yeah no panties did you get that mess did you get that in the ad no panties can i even show this one you know you think the photographer or somebody it's quite innocent it just looks bad you know it just looks wrong this is man uh he forms a clay rope for coiling pottery now this just looks wrong okay the man it just looks wrong you know what i'm saying it just it's perfectly harmless he's rolling clay for a rope it just looks wrong it's like he's practicing not even going to go there and finally uh you know i don't know i i wrestled when i was in high school i don't remember this position this is uh what position is that folks you have a headline send a tonight show with jay leno 3000 west alameda avenue burbank california 91523 if you'd like to see more headlines go to our website at www.nbc.com tonight show there you go

Channel: TOMSTERSTUFF!

Views: 111,870

Keywords: tomsterstuff

Id: YWrjSdUejTc

Length: 8min 0sec (480 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 14 2021