Headlines with Jay Leno

[Applause] well folks it's monday night that means we've got headlines headlines right here [Music] uh these are real headlines taken from real newspapers around the country uh this is an ad that says mcdonald's that's a pretty good deal for franchising franchising look at this mcdonald's restaurant free with the purchase of a large sandwich that's pretty good free restaurant a lot of fast food stuff going on armed forces government coupons look at this receive this kentucky fried chicken received 16 pieces of chicken only 12.99 excludes white and dark pieces so apparently that's apparently that's just the heads and beaks i think they give you just but still it's not a bad deal heads and beaks oh we got to get to chicago i've never heard of this school but this is look at this madonna high school where young girls become extraordinary young women yeah [Music] what does it take to get to be valedictorian there okay there's like a waynes world thing okay it's like a wayne's world headline has newt featuring the newt man look gingrich faces charges he wants hurl kind of ages two to two and a half i know ah this is this one made me laugh you all know a uh brand video for me with a fulbright scholarship right yes i am very impressive very bright here's a man here's a man who came close jim uh trevinger he didn't look at the scholarship he won he received a full bite scholarship apparently he's a full bite scholar so i guess probably some sort of dental thing made me laugh i love this one i love this one i saw this new this was tv guide new year's new year's day 2 a.m look at it it's 2 a.m in the morning new year's live with sarah pacelle and jack perkins you know i think they just hey we're out here there doesn't seem to be anybody around just a lot of cans and paper but we'll be live [Music] st charles area i guess that would be uh chicago charming ranch on large double-wide driveway with garage newer carpets updated kitchen it's only minutes from the basement that's not a bad deal apparently a much larger home than i had anticipated [Music] here's the huntsville times i guess that would be huntsville alabama fine city uh this is the new that's why you need tv guide it says under suspicion uh dick van dyke show a pregnant woman is hit in a drive-by shooting and phil's only witness is a dentally disabled man so apparently maybe that's the guy on the full bite scholarship this one made me laugh it's the plaza theater bachelor parties all nude shows in fresno it's all new shows but look at thanks for your support children 99 cents and look there's a church group discount so you might you might want to bring your church you know i bet attendance would rise dramatically [Music] you ever go looking through the phone book trying to find funny sounding names i know it's a stupid job somebody has to do it this is the one we found this week can you get let me see we blew it up let me give it on this side this guy's name this guy's name is oliver close off all of her clothes all right i love this one this guy's name is uh he's a congressman mike workington i like mike he's running for congress southwest oklahoma native look at his call this is his actual brochure look at his qualifications scraped and shoveled manure from the dairy barn floor for 11 years used an outhouse until he was eight years old you know i couldn't if there is a man more qualified to be in congress i don't know who it is ladies and gentlemen 11 years chevrolet manure 11 years [Music] there you go this is kind of interesting these are metal mesh gloves you wear these to keep your hands from getting cut you know metal gloves in case you're cutting things you know so you don't cut your fingers now look what i look look at the sizes it comes in either three finger or five five-finger model apparently so you might have figured you know i got these gloves a little too late or it should be that way shouldn't it here is a lovely lovely gift now you know what are people thinking about it says urine specimen bottles great beverage glasses for your new year's parties you know yes i couldn't you know if you want to keep people from drinking and driving this is the way to do it yeah oh we put them in the dishwasher they're fine this is a very odd one this it says it's the second ad following dogs need homes a loca at local pound or must be destroyed uh one female beagle one male child one park dashawn one puppy want a good hamburger made from fresh ground hamburger meat come by and dine at the dairy twist yeah i just yeah maybe you could drink from one of those specimen jars this made me laugh this is a cincinnati recipe chili we got one one more after this one this one made me laugh now these are the serving suggestions on the side of the can apparently their idea for their chili is cover it with so much cheese you can't see the chili apparently just put it right on there you see apparently no all right all right all right all right i i understand i can take it i can take him i'm gonna if i should show them well where is he wait i got two i got two i got two french wheelchair china again chinese restaurants this is fun here's the golden star chinese russian look at the luncheon special buy any two lunches and receive a free string bean [Applause] again people come to america from asia many of the words sometimes they mean different things it's nothing done on purpose sometimes i just wonder if people have trouble telling other people i am not going to say the name of this restaurant i will put it up and please don't say the name there's it's the [Music] anyway folks and they have a headline sending the headline

Channel: Zee G. Hunter

Views: 59,103

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Id: noF7WHgzG6Q

Length: 7min 19sec (439 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 09 2022