Jane Fonda and Alan Alda's Opening Monologue: 1986 Oscars

ladies and gentlemen Jane Fonda and Alan Alda good evening all 1 billion of you there are so many people around the world watching tonight that we're calling on the linguistic services of our co-host Robin Williams the Academy sends greetings to the People's Republic of China niihama Yong Hwa rang hello to the people of India an America's ambassador Namaskar hello to the French salute ASEAN or public falls special congratulations to the people of the Philippines come on down some of these shows have never been worn come on down come on down you'll get two pairs of shoes one black cross three come on down come on down no in New Jersey one 800 in Switzerland I don't know come on down Thank You Robin each and every one of you well it's time for the Oscars again yeah attentions to say nothing of limousines have been stretched beyond endurance another year another night with the fervent hope that the night doesn't take another year some of our winners will clearly be at a loss for words their search may go on indefinitely yeah with that in mind we'd like to say a little something to those whose cups so runneth over that sometimes the show runneth over as well so you won't have to please let us thank the following for you one or both of your parents depending on how well they got long and or which one got custody of you your husband or your lover or all three have you bled a color the life your children who having been thanked can now switch over and watch something r-rated on cable your agents your manager your lawyer your accountant your therapist analyst publicist aerobics no offense no you win whoever lent you a hand lent you an ear went you a dime your director who became the soil that allowed you to grow the people in makeup and wardrobe and props here the acting coach the coach driver he assistant everyone the guard at the gate the animal trainer the animals and the writer why not and now in keeping with another movie tradition we have a coming attraction a presentation of all the Academy Award nominees we're here to honor tonight each a star in their field together a dazzling constellation ladies and gentlemen here is the class of 1986 we'll all the nominees please stand and now a director producer whose films have earned an amazing 61 nominations winning 19 Oscars he himself has been nominated seven times and won four Academy Awards ladies and gentlemen the president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Robert Wise music and many many others good evening I'm sure some of you some of the very nearly 1 billion viewers are wondering about this August Academy of ours it comes together once each year to give out nude statuary what's the curriculum at this Academy how does one get in do they have a football team well to answer the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is not a school there are no professors in long robes giving dissertations on the signs and symbols of cinema Transylvania no our Academy is a collective of the most accomplished men and women who make motion pictures actors directors writers musicians editors the person who tells you how the set should look the person who tells you you can't afford to build that Center our members call cities from Hollywood to Budapest to Tokyo of their homes and they run an age gamut from Justin Henry up to whatever age George Burns is this year we work together this Academy of ours to share knowledge to preserve the achievements of the past to celebrate the achievements of the present and nurture those who will create the achievements of tomorrow in the most far-reaching and powerful art form in the planet the moving picture on behalf of our worldwide membership welcome to the Academy's 58th annual award presentation ladies and gentlemen and Richard Dreyfuss thank you

Channel: Oscars

Views: 38,645

Rating: 4.8847737 out of 5

Keywords: Jane Fonda (Celebrity), 58th Academy Awards (Award Ceremony), Alan Alda (Film Actor), Academy Awards (Award), Marsha Mason (Film Actor), Robert Wise (Film Director), Richard Dreyfuss (Film Actor), 1986, Oscars

Id: 0er11AfxOso

Length: 5min 52sec (352 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 04 2016