Jackie's Lecture At Oxford University Part 2

do you understand this so I think we should take questions from the audience because I know it's not exactly your procedure your procedur is that I should took 45 minutes then you ask questions but I think it's much more intelligent that you just ask questions and I'll have to be able to talk to you about whatever is on your mind uh you used to be a rabbi now you're a comic right are the jobs in any way similar well it's very similar it's very similar because most of the people who come to a temple or a church would' rather hear jokes wouldd rather hear jokes than any sermon most people come to a temple or a church not because they're really religious because every study made of people practicing religion proves that only about 7% are really Church Growers of any religion and the Catholic religion it's a little more Protestants it's a little less Jews go to to Temples very little at all because very few people are really involved in religion the only time they know they religious if they think they're going to pass away and they turn to God nobody wants to think that you die and you're dead man is the only kind of a thing in the world that actually believes that when you die you'll continue living you call it dead but it's a lie you're really alive in another form what form I don't know but I could tell it I'm there where if they told you a cat died but it's still living schmuck it's dead that's it but if my sister-in-law died she went to heaven she went to Pittsburgh she went to Philadelphia and that's why people go to a church once in a while on a certain big day of the year the rest of the year they got no time they almost getting there they're trying to get there they can't get there but if you don't get there at all then you have no connection with the existence of God if you get there once a year on Christmas or a Jew oner and you stand there for an hour and a half falling asleep at least you were there so at least God knows you showed up and and thank God somehow you're going to continue living after your dead because you put in that hour and a half sleeping in some Temple or Church of your choice and that's why that's why when a rabbi talks they they're really sorry that he's so serious they know they have to listen to him but they were praying to God that he should tell a few jokes to him they would like to get some form of entertainment out of it because they really didn't want to be there in the first place see I I performed in I was a rabbi for 2 years is and when I originally became a rabbi does he have to stand there like this you know what I find fascinating that if a guy walks around behind you he could be doing nothing people forget you there and they want to watch the go he became more important than my whole show everybody came to see me they forgot I showed up they all way I'd like to ask you fa if you want to take pictures could you take pictures from someplace else because CU I know I'm going to lose the whole crowd to this man probably a Nazi who found out about me is it amazing nobody could you understand this why is it that if a guy is talking no matter who he is if right now Abraham Lincoln was resurrected and he was standing here delivering a whole new speech about slavery and the guy walked around with a camera this same schmuck with a camera walking around like this they would say Abraham Lincoln came back but look at that camera next is that is that any subject matter you regard as so distasteful or so horrific that you cannot make any jokes about it well there are there are subject matter it's a matter of taste he's asking me a very good question did you all hear the question is there anything so so disgusting or or object objectionable that I wouldn't make a joke about it and I think that it's like saying in a conversation is there anything so dising or disgusting that you wouldn't say it to people in a conversation I think normal people are bridge their thoughts consciously or not when they talk to somebody else in accordance to who they're talking to you won't say the same thing to your grandmother that you would say to your friend I for instance will never use vulgar terminology I almost never say real filthy Words My Generation 20 years old earlier or 30 years earlier nobody talked like that we still don't talk that way to women even though women talk that way to us I would almost never say the things to a girl that she would say to me if if I'm talking to a a lady no matter what her age I would automatically think that if you use a fall at a word that's disgusting and I wouldn't say it I'm not even aware of the fact half of the time that the world changed and most young ladies today use those terminologies as a natural form of communication they talk that way as much as the men do in my time a man talk that way a woman never could and in front of a Woman They never would say a dirty word if a guy slipped out with an offc color word in front of a woman he would apologize for now I didn't say it I don't know if you heard it I didn't mean it he would look at the husband or the boyfriend it wasn't me I don't know how it happened he went into a terror because he said a dirty word today when you start apologizing the girl says you what do you Town there's no place to go at night anyway so I don't know if it's an honor that you came to see me cuz if I wasn't here you'd have to walk around the lobby saying where you going I don't know we'll spend the night where wherever I don't know what are you even in London it's the same way everything is always closed or closing or about to close it's big business nobody knows who's doing it because every time you say hello we're closing we're closing we just closed we never were open but about the CL I noticed how uh just walk across the street how people are so polite here even you people as students usually students are the most pushy arrogant people left in the world they usually have no respect for anybody and that's the way they prove to themselves that they're becoming Men by letting you know you stink I don't need you I could live without you students in general let's be honest are obnoxious people not to everybody but at least some of the time more often than not you understand I'll never figure it out but that's my opinion of what I think of you hello but over here I notice everybody's exceptionally polite I didn't see here one impolite word yet I'm waiting in society here in general nobody ever talks about sex a guy could take out a girl I don't know about how it is in college but outside of college a guy could take out a girl nine times s and he acts like he doesn't know that she could be a sex object like he makes love only to horses because you never know this country is full of contradictions that why is it that in personal Behavior towards each other everybody's always apologizing this is the most polite Society I think in the whole english- speaking world or even any other part of any Western world there's no place where people are as polite in the streets in human contact as they are in England soon as you say hello they start telling you sorry sir I I didn't mean it at he say what did you do I don't remember but I hope I don't do it again I don't know how it happened what happened I don't know I just did please forgive me for what for whatever I could I don't know if a guy was hit by a truck he'd apologize to the truck for an hour and a half be L they're bleeding to death I'm sorry I did it I don't know how it happened the only place where I feel where I see in this country really arrogant impolite behavior is in Parliament nobody would talk to each other in the street here as they talk to a prime minister in Parliament and the United States is just the opposite people are impolite very often in the streets but in the senate or in the house in the congressional committees in the Congressional Chambers there's no such thing is an impolite word they say to right honorable Senator excuse me sir they apologize for an hour and a half like people do here in the streets here in the streets they're very polite but when I watched Parliament on television as an American watching it for the first time I really thought I was in a sanitarian it sounds like these people are nuts it's hard to believe that people who respect each other would ever talk that way a guy gets up to talk do you ever watch it on television a guy gets up to talk sir I would like to say shut up you [Applause] P they were abusing each other calling each other names and the prime minister is the most revered person every place else in the country as soon as he gets up with his book in his hand schar why are you hollering and he's looking about how did I get this job I don't know how to

Channel: TheUltimateJew

Views: 218,714

Keywords: Oxford, Union, Society, England, UK, Jackie, Mason, On, Campus, College, Politics, Comedy, Stand, Up, Jewish, Humor, Parlament, USA, Jew

Id: 0dOLorAbtLw

Length: 9min 20sec (560 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 11 2008