Impressed by the “Before” Guy in Weight Loss Ads - Nate Bargatze

I wouldn't visit my parents recently my parents have a real real real fat cat it's real fat people when people pointed out you know they walk into like me and the cats fat and it feels rude you know like he doesn't speak English but we do so maybe don't say that and they're just you know they're like what do ya'll feeding this cat you're like whatever you feed a cat dude I don't think normal cat food stuff we pour a bowl he'd sit like if heats ate birds outside he doesn't tell us you know he's not like I laid out tonight I'm good and then they're like we all should do something like what do you think we're not doing do you think he has a gym membership and we don't drive him to the gym he's a cat that's his gym membership he's he's a cat I watched him jump from the ground on top of the refrigerator that's like if I jumped on top of a school bus from the ground like if I if I did that you're not gonna be like well you still could lose a little bit you know just keep doing what you're doing I got to get in shape not this shape it's not a good shape something I gotta get really I thought I was like I'm doing an hour special that would motivate me here we are I tell me why I gotta get back in shape I've never been in shape you know they most people like if I go back to my 20s I want to go back to seven if I could get back to when I was seven I was just killing it I don't know how to work out for me a good workout would be walking to McDonald's would be a great start you know maybe stand up and eat it see if that does something my friends like when I go lift weights and they're like that's that's way too him like I don't you know I don't get like too big you know that's how far I go like in there like let's just drive by and see what happens if you start ballooning up or leave immediately I ordered the p90x videos I thought I could do that never worked out a day in my life so let's do it the Navy SEALs do you know why I ordered it cuz it's in commercial you know they have like before body and after body and I was blown away by the before body I thought that's what you get to look like I was like that guy looks great you know I would love to look like him then I saw the after body I was like this before buddy guy have a DVD cause that guy seems more my speed you know what did he do to get to that and I'll just do that I signed up for a mixed martial arts class I made it one day that's all it was off a Groupon the Groupon was like mixed martial arts training it just said like hey do you wanna fight a guy you don't know in a room cause that's what it was I just go in there I don't know a fight in that state that's what they do they just pair me up with some 16 year old kid that wants to fight for a living and wasn't raised by human people and they're like why don't y'all just go at it and I was like I think it's because we have different goals maybe that's why we should not go at it I believe he is training for the Hunger Games I just want you na people to see my nipples through my shirt so that's two levels you know if someone give me an Under Armour's shirt to wear if you ever wore one of those it's like skin-tight it just shows the worst parts of your body I look better without a shirt on then with that shirt on you know in plastic surgery how they draw markers on you they should just put you in that shirt and be like Javy so you can see we're gonna go after her [Music] I'm lazy I can tell like watching sports I was watching the football game and I'm sitting on my couch and I was gonna get something to drink other frigerator right when I get up one guy one team kicked off to that team and before I could get back the guy ran 100 yard kickoff return and I missed it the guy ran 100 yards before I could get three two maybe four yards that guy also had eleven people really trying not to let him run a hundred yards I hadn't I didn't have an ottoman in my way it was wide open I played sports growing up I played played baseball and one time when I was playing I to bad I get walked so I go I take my base I get the first place I turn I look the catcher was still holding the ball and like he wasn't staring at me almost like he's daring me to run but why don't you see if you can go I don't think you can go and I was like I'm gonna go alright so I run to second he throws it to second overthrows second base goes in the outfield I run a third base they overthrow third base so my coach is like losing it like telling me to go home like this is about to be an inside-the-park home run off a walk I'm about to be on SportsCenter you know like this is the biggest thing that's ever happened in sports so I go I slide there's a play at the plate and then the umpire goes it was only ball three so I have to have to now get up I'm dirty for no reason apparently I'm out of breath I got to pick my batter where I left it it's now three balls two strikes next pitch immediately strike out neatly strike out the umpire goes now you can go yeah you're fine I did learn something though that day what I did learn was that if you're confident you can get away with quite a bit you know because why didn't anybody stop me no one stopped never no one they knew I wasn't supposed to be going and I was so confident about it that that's why they kid just holding the ball going what I don't why is he is he supposed to be doing this and then I run to second it's like well no one's that much of an idiot I guess I wasn't paying any attention the ball goes in the outfield outfield they're not looking they think it's a hit you know for all they know and then I guess the umpire at some point realizes it and it's just like well it's easier for me to get all the way back to him to tell me and let's at least let me feel what it would feel like to get an inside-the-park home run off a walk I was thinking about - like all the parents in the stands cuz like they can't hear what's going on so they're just like watching this and then I bat again like they're just like I don't guess I don't understand baseball I thought I'd it's just baseball's changed since I was a kid used to you go around like that you're done you don't have to get back up there I don't like these new rules you

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 3,488,798

Keywords: Nate Bargatze, Full Time Magic, Nate Bargatze comedian, Nate Bargatze stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedian, comedians, cat, fat, fat cat, exercise, working out, workout, losing weight, weight loss ad, before and after, in shape, P90X, motivation, MMA, MMA class, fight, Under Armour, football, sports, baseball, baseball history, Sports Center, strike out, funny, funny video, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up

Id: E9IJtYc7_uw

Length: 7min 31sec (451 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 04 2020