IF You Are In Love | Episode 2 | PASTOR KINGSLEY OKONKWO

praise god all right all right take your seat this morning take your seat and look at your neighbor tell him happy valentine's day praise god all right i know some people don't believe in valentine's day but it's fine whether you like valentine's day or not um at least we all believe in love we all believe in love hallelujah love is the strongest emotion or is the strongest thing that a human being can feel as the strongest one and um today we're going to shed some light on it so we started this series this month titled if all right that's the title of the series if so first sunday we did if you are saved these are the things that should follow you so this morning i'm doing if you are in love hallelujah if you are in love there are some things that we should see all right so whether you're single or married if you're single um hopefully we should be able to look at the fact you know what what you should look out for before you start and if you're already married then we'll also be able to um know whether you are showing or living you know what love says in your relationship or marriage praise god all right so the first thing i want to try to do is to paint a picture of what love is i think our problems in relationships and marriage as human beings is it actually started because or is going on because we don't understand what love is we really don't understand it and and how can you tell somebody to love another person when he doesn't even know what love is all right so that is where the problem starts many people many people i don't even know when when the the the concept or or the meaning of love was hijacked but it has been hijacked i don't know i don't know when it happened because from where it started it was pure but today it has been fully hijacked it has been fully hijacked and i believe god that will be able to uh bring the right concept back so let's start i'll start by saying this i'll start by saying this love is not a feeling but a willing i know that's not the right english but it rhymes and it makes sense love first of all you need to know that love is not a feeling but a willing it's not a feeling but a willing many people are struggling in their love life because they think that love is a feeling love is not a feeling it is a willing or you can say willingness you understand that's what i mean by willing willingness love is not a feeling but a willing and i'm trying to find out when and where it was hijacked from being a doing word from being an action to being a mere feeling and that's what the problem is guys if you can learn this one and resolve this one at least a lot of the problems people face in marriages and relationships will go down if you can learn this that love is not a feeling when the average person is talking about love he's talking about a feeling he's referring to a feeling and even if that's not what you mean that's how people are seeing it people are focusing on the feeling and the author of love which is god has never given us that impression before has never you know given us that concept that love is just a feeling glory to god i mean how did we even arrive there how did we arrive to the point where we have minimized and reduced the concept of love to just how we feel do you know how how how maybe i'll use what stupid that looks let me paint it to you let me paint it to you you have a wife a fiance a husband whatever and they are very hungry up up to the point of death as in they are they are totally worn out hungry they're not eating for 10 days they're about to collapse and you have you know i don't know what your best food is if you're a burger person you have a bad you know hamburger or i've forgotten this bugger my children like from mcdonald's and all these things i forgot about all those ones that have everything you know you have or or you're an a person you know you're a swallow kind of guy you know um whatever so basically you have food and your wife or whoever is in need that you're saying oh you know i love you oh if you know the love that i have for the person is dying of anger and you have food here and you are eating i said i love you true i swear i love you that's how stupid or crazy it looks when we minimize love to a feeling and not a willing love is more about your willingness to be and to do it has nothing to do with your feelings about somebody any feelings is free you can feel anything you want to feel but it's not yet love until it can't be demonstrated until it can be acted upon the author of love told us in john chapter 3 verse 16 it says for god so loved the world that he gave his only son love has always been about action he didn't say god so loved the world that he just sat down and was sorrowful he just sat down and was sad he just sat down and sang a love song he could have been loved but he's over now that's our daily part of that song i know hallelujah he didn't just stop and sing a love song all those things are not the real idea and definition of love i don't know when and where it was hijacked but love is not a feeling it's a willing love is not a feeling it's a doing so if you're in love i'm not going to measure it by how you are smiling how you are laughing i'm going to be checking by your actions love is not a feeling but a willing hallelujah all right so let me try and paint a picture of what i think love is love is difficult to define it's usually easier to describe so i'm going to just try and give us an idea based on what i'm talking about today but love in itself and his concept is so deep and so powerful that is not easily defined but it's easier to describe okay it's not easy to define it's easier to describe and most places in scripture they never really defined for us you know that this is the sentence you know to define love most places they described so we're going to look at that also today as we go so let me give you my own little definition so love is the willingness to lay down your wishes your joy your desire your resources unconditionally for another i'll say that again love is your willingness to lay down your joy your wishes your desire your resources money time effort energy to lay down unconditionally for another person so it's such a deep commitment when you say i love you it's not something to be jumping about it's a big commitment you just made it's a big commitment you just made that you're going to lay down your own happiness you're going to lay down your own wishes you're going to lay down your own preference this is why marriages are not working if two people really love themselves it's impossible for the marriage to fail i'm telling you it's impossible marriage fails because the people are really not in love if two people love themselves it's not that they won't offend each other but love never fails it never fails it cannot fail it's too much of a strong force to fail hallelujah many people get in mind they just love love they love marriage they love social status it's not the person that they love it's not the person that they love when you are signing in to love someone you are saying you know what i'm gonna love you like this no matter what happens they try to put that in the vows we make and when they but the couples usually are too interested in the reception in the wedding pictures and honeymoon they are not thinking they are not thinking nobody's thinking about the real meaning they're just saying pastor hurry up want to go for reception the the bride is too eager to go and change you know from her church club to her reception club oh to be honest with you i laugh not laugh i spit it for if you're a pidgin person i'm sorry for the people getting married most times i pity them they have no clue what they're getting into they have no clue even with the laws and laws of counselling that's why i hope people that everyone do counseling or do it well even the ones that are doing it well they are never hearing it now reminds you that i didn't do everybody does cancel another before after what do you do so i picked it for people entering you know they will give the girl and get married she would have useless friends who would say when they stop beating i hope all of you will come back what you are signing in for is too serious for that excitement you have no clue on our wedding day my wife was so nervous so nervous why didn't they not because i was a bad person yet she didn't know my true color but she was very nervous it was so bad that the person said if you don't smile now if you don't relax won't continue she was very nervous why because she knew what she was signing him for to marry this madman to me i was happy when i was entering because i knew i might be a better person than me yeah glory to god i was happy i know nami win you know you know me win and allah it was for me i was married the perfect person there's no problem i'm the one that brought all the problems marriage i brought them praise god so she was she knew what she was signing for praise god i get what i'm saying guys the the play i see people playing to marry today i just laugh these people have no clue what they enter into do you see the definition i gave you it's that willingness to lay down your joys your pleasure your desires your preferences unconditionally so some people don't mind laying down their joy as long as there's condition to it that if you do me well i do you well that's the only condition i don't want to do somebody enjoy that if you as long as you don't offend me i'll forgive you i didn't hear that as long as you don't offend me i forgive you no forgiveness is because somebody is going to offend you and that is what love is talking about they are going to lay down all your joys all your pain all everything going on you're going to lay down your own preferences your rest your peace you're going to lay down and serve on that person unconditionally and somebody said and this how the two people should come if the two people come with this mentality you'll find out that the literary challenges you have is who would do for the others let me do for you let me serve you let me serve you let me stop that's what should be going on do you only queries you have is about who should serve and even when there are real issues that come up two of you can't be so willing not to put in the effort you can at the same time yes there will be as human beings once in a while you fall short of what their real idea is for love and maybe the husband is the one behaving funny or the wife is but you see it can't be at the same time if both of you are usually on the path to serving yourselves it can't be on the same time yes somebody can finish but but what is their attitude when they offend the other person is it the truth of i don't care or is it attritive i'm sorry you see these are the ideas love is not a feeling that feeling will go love visually comes with a feeling but you see the feeling it will still go this doesn't mean you won't be happy with the person what just means is that the first level of excitement that you entered with is not what you will sustain the marriage with it's never it it's the practicality is the everyday actions of love that we hold the marriage then eventually another emotion will come it's like mixed it and read it that's the best example the teeth they give back to you with is milked it is not meant to last it will fall off but if everything is going fine another one will grow that will last is somebody getting what i'm saying all right i hope this making sense to somebody so love is not a feeling but a willing all right it's the willingness to lay down your wishes your joy your desire your resources unconditionally for another person you see you you hardly see people sharing and teaching about things like you hardly see people showing through music and movies the real idea of love that's why we have started our own um production as a church so tv africa if you have not subscribed to it on youtube i don't know what you are waiting for again no it's your church is us that only together it's not it's not somebody's private business so tv africa is the church uh production team because we feel that the people that are running the movie industries globally they are pushing their own things pushing homosexuality pushing madness pushing the polygamy pushing divorce they are pushing those things so we need to create also we can push the right we are the one that owns the right messages so please if you have not subscribed we are dropping a movie today today february 14th we have a valentine movie that we are dropping today so please take out your phone now surfing service bring it out now bring it i hope you have data bring it out now just go to seoul tv africa on youtube and subscribe if you're on instagram follow us on tv africa on this associate on instagram it's a valentine movie tuesday the 14th it's premiering today it's premiering today glory to god and we've had other movies too we've done 12 seasons for a married person or even a single person you're like down to 12 seasons then we've had a christmas movie so there are many things going on so the point is that you hardly see people on media music or tv and music pushing the right concept of love usually what they push for us is that romantic feeling and those of you that are married or in a real relationship you know that's not the idea that is a small fraction of what love is and that is that small fraction that ends many people are entering marriage based on your entrepreneurs more fraction oh i always laugh i don't i don't kid you whenever the girl is dancing jumping i said this thing this tough thing when i want to enter i'm not saying you should not be happy but not this you know if you know what you're going to you should be a bit solemn now that's my thinking if you really understand the depth have you seen somebody they posted to terrorism to gun fighters jumping and clapping he knows what is good he's he's reflective he is a serious issue it's a serious issue somebody getting what i'm saying you are saying you are giving up your freedom you are giving up your happiness you are giving up everything to serve another other person unconditionally not that it's not do me i do you it's not as long as you are treating me right i'll treat you right that is not the concept of love at all you don't even need love to do that one it's not when you're nice to me i'll be nice to you this is the idea many people have of marriage that oh we're going to be nice to each other yes that's the idea but it's not guaranteed so you must be coming from your own end with that unconditional mindset very very very important somebody said but what if the person i'm marrying too doesn't have that mindset i'll come to that before i close i'll come to that but for now let's look at first coin chance 13 let's see how god paints love god is the author of love he didn't start from hollywood he didn't start from talk shows this stuff from social media god is the author of love that that that thing called love is god himself that started it it's god himself that started it so it's important that we we always study his view study his own mind you know about it before we go ahead very very important all right first question starting i'm going to just move to four so that would be fast all right first question starting niv from verse four somebody's i'm in love with somebody oh there's this boy he loved me so much uh i'm i'm married i love my husband or my wife well i call this the love analysis test because if it's just my feeling i've not seen anybody most people that divorce is not usually a feeling problem it's an action problem they're acting they're unable to come or coordinate or collaborate or or you know bring together the the the place of the feeling and the place of the action we can't always hold you responsible for your action we can i mean for your feeling we can hold you responsible for your action and it's from your action that your feelings are battered like we normally say here um it's easier to act your way into feeling than to feel your way into acting it's easier to act your way into getting the feeling than to feel your way into the action you never really depend on feelings feelings have their own mind they can go and come as they will but the action is your responsibility glory to god hmm first contest thirteen from verse four see the first thing they said they say love is patience if is love you claim that you have for each other they say patience is the number one thing there love is patient if i love my wife if you love your husband well the first thing we used to know is how patient you are how patient you are how patient you are when they do something when they offend you when they don't do exactly what you are hoping they will do love is patient love is patient so if you are here and i wish i don't know if my coupons are sitting together but if you're sitting together you know this is called the love analysis test so i wish we had planned it would have given you forms and never thought i can feel so they can know that you you you personally so you claim you love because when you ask who do you love your wife say yes but none of your actions your actions are not showing that in any way you are claiming that this love is just something visible we can't see you love your husband yes no it's by the actions we're only measured by the actions we'll never measure by how you feel so if you know what i feel inside me if you know three people in my mind if you see what happened no no purely by actions to buy their fruits we shall know them purely by actions if you love your spouse or if you love this guy or this girl number one patience this thing will make a mess of what people are calling in love this is not foreign with themselves they are not patient with the other person so you don't love them it's you you love a lot of things people are building name of marriage and relationship it's not it's themselves they love selfishness they love love they just want society to clap for them they have always wanted to be married so it's not about this person they are with it's about the concept and context of marriage they just want people to know they are married they don't love this person as a human being when you love them they say number one you'll be patient number two love is kind so all these daily your wife mean things you are foolish you are useless basket idiot if you want to live leave who cares gather away you and all kinds of funny things you know the way you talk to your husband useless man where are you coming from again you have started again this disease is this they said it is love it is kind wow it is kind would you would you if your spouse is going to reach you in this love analysis test would they rate you as a kind person will they rate you as a patient person hmm okay number three it says love does not envy love does not envy at the beginning of my years especially as a pastor on a marriage counselor i actually felt they didn't they wasted space by writing love does not envy because i just felt that who would be envying their spouse now after many years of counseling and being a pastor i know many people even envy their own spouse they are not happy for their spouse to prosper there are many people like that there are some men that can't stand their wives any more money than them there's some women that can't stand their husband you know making progress especially maybe one person used to be the major breadwinner and for some reason they lose their job or they didn't grow as much another person grows or or gets beyond it you find that they begin to compete wow those things make me laugh i'll be very glad if my wife earns more money than me very glad she knows god thinks she'll buy for me aplenty so i'll be happy i'll be happy she knows all the things i like they are all expensive i have no cheap desire i have no cheap desire praise god so i don't know why people were heavy but they do people empty their own spouse oh that they are making more money than you it's because both of you don't understand the concept of love in the first place see love does not envy it does not say oh why you you know you now you have a job or now you have this thing you don't have time anymore you don't no be happy for them the next one he said love does not boast it does not boast i see what i have done for you all the things i did for you all the things i've given you love does not boast if you go through this thing you find all people are doing is not even love at all because they don't they won't pass the test somebody's gonna score two over ten or one over ten or you know that would do you know that i would do the primary school that has eyes and ears that wasn't quite gonna score because some married people are looking at me here are not patient they are not kind to their spouses he said they are they are always boastful they have suffered in this world they envy their spouse i like the next one it does not dishonor others it does not dishonor others i have seen couples dishonor or insult each other even in public even in front of people it does not dishonor others if you're ever going to refer to your spouse in public it must be positive they dishonor each other hallelujah these scriptures are not limited to marriage but we are looking at it in terms of marriage today or relationship it does not dishonor it does not dishonor it says um it's not easily okay no that's the next one next one is um i've mentioned it does not boost i didn't mention it is not proud it is not proud do you know sir pride is the number one reason people divorce most times pride first to apologize nobody wants to give in nobody wants to admit wrong nobody wants to agree it's pride two of you now entire challenge first to surrender and they say i'm going i'm going you can never apologize you can never agree you were wrong you can never admit wrong you can never be be canceled nobody can talk to you you know those things people people people make most of it there are no i don't listen to anybody i said really really i've told the ladies especially don't marry a man that is not submitted because the reason i'm saying is you are submitting your life to somebody that nobody can control you're submissing your life to nobody that i mean to somebody that nobody can talk to i don't know why women do that to themselves all the time i just love him that's not love that i'm trying to explain to you that is not love love has sense i just love him that's not love because once you enter now you won't be able to continue when it starts showing you is really true color then you are looking for a pastor to come and help there's no love don't marry a man when the bible says that you know you submit to your husband it's based on the assumption that that mantra is submitted to authority these are the concepts you can't take scriptural con concepts out of the context of scripture because god god would never say submit to all men no it is a woman to all men because of men behave like that as if they can never walk under a woman they can never respect women no men and women are equal they are the same but god is saying in the concept and context of a christian marriage where the both people are really christians not that they have christian name that they are really christians and they are in the christian community that definitely the wife should be glad to submit to a christian man who is also submitted to authority and the doctrines of christ it's all over there he's there he's at the head of every woman as the man and the head of that man is christ and the head of christ is god so there is a concept you can't just go and meet one bomb in the bush and say you're submitting to him you better not submit to him if you don't have any sense he will kill you and your family don't marry him in the first place he said the head of every woman is the man this is 11 and other places see the first of the head of every man is the man the head of every man is christ if you don't know christ represents the church the christ the body church is called the body of christ it's very simple so if they're saying this man let him also have authority figures in his life especially christian ones not just traditional rule in the village that believes in having thirteen wives christian church above him too that he's submitted to and they know him so once in a while they can call him to others and say no brother this know how to treat your wife then that gives you some safety as a woman not that i love him i love him love is not diuretic and senseless behavior and that's what people are thinking that once your behavior is senseless ah she loves she's stupid or he's in love he's stupid if he's real love it has sense it's not an uncontrollable senseless behavior and that's what young people are thinking that the most senseless and stupid you are behaving ah you must be loved how can he be loved okay so love is not proud nobody i don't nobody you know me i don't hear what once i i make up my mind nobody can change my mind and you are saying it you you are boldly saying it you think that makes you a great person that makes you a foolish person you must always be meek you must always be be the kind of person that people can talk to as i'm here my wife has the liberty to call my pastor at any time and i've been a pastor 25 years i still have a pastor i respect and my wife once the wife still calls him to say talk to your son i could say nobody can talk to me but that that that's not christianity we must always have authority over our lives say love is does not envy does not boast it's not proud he said it does not dishonor others it's not proud means you can't make it in marriage you can't make it in marriage with pride you can't make it in a relationship with pride you can't make it in mind you pride because relationship and marriages require a lot of humility you need to swallow your pride many times swallow your pride to agree swallow your pride to work together too can walk together if there's pride because everybody wants to do their own thing it takes humility to submit to each other it takes humility to work together it takes a million to apologize when you don't think you are totally wrong it takes humility to accept an apology that is not even given yet to you in advance you just collect it it takes your military to move on even when you know one issue is not fully resolved to your satisfaction but you decide to move on it takes humility if you can't have humility don't don't wavering wedding ring to us don't be waving proposal and then get married these are the things young people are focusing on nobody's painting this really picture of the things going on so when they now enter marriage i see the reality then i'll be like oh i'm done because what they expected is that waving of ring to be the thing that they were using to to do mine for 25 years that would think i think i don't know how we helped these younger people again proposal is nice and competition bros on top middle bridge on top street pool on top street like what was going on sit down and listen to the real thing and this jokers will not pay for cancelling time to forget to say that you won't you don't listen but you want to pray for and get married of course for members of our church counseling is free but after anybody from outside you must be and waste my time because cancer is the cheapest part of the whole process every other thing about relationship and marriage is going to cost you more than this counseling so if you don't have enough sense and value to pay for counselling i get you back get marrying diamond they go to sapphire i'm just laughing since you didn't buy but you bought everything hallelujah all right let me try and round up i have to round up now okay so love is patient love is kind it does not envy does not boast it's not proud it does not dishonor others i like the next one it is not self-seeking wow it is not self-seeking that means real love does not actually seek its own benefit real love doesn't seek its own benefit it seeks the benefit of the other person and that's what love is two of you come together and say hey for the rest of my life i pledge to always look up for your good first you see every other thing every instruction in scripture that's what i'm saying people that are non-christians shouldn't be checking the bible for how marriage should be done it will confuse you it will wear you out it will lead to argument if you are not a real christian submitted to christ the principle the marriage principles in the bible does not go and do the worldly one because you follow this one you will get into more trouble the concept in the bible for marriage is two people becoming one that means everything we own is our own that's not like my own or your own the word might doesn't exist from now on i'm focused on you and you are focused on me i'm not permitted to seek my own good and you are not permitted to seek your own good uh this is how christian marriage should work however you see people that are not really christians churchgoers they want to use christian principles it can't work it can't work because the concept of christian principles is supposed to hide money i'm off i have we've had a joint account from the before the wedding from day one that's my joint account i don't receive a lot on my on my phone my wife can take all my money i've never seen my token since they made manufactured it never seen it i trust that completely that's that's the idea now if you have not married that kind of woman or you don't mind that kind of man even me i will tell you go and hide your money because they will finish your money for you because you can't trust them and the mistake has been made before you started these are the things you look out for in the kind of person you are claiming to be in love with because love involves trust you're trusting your life i've seen jokers that trust their life for somebody but they're having their money so you can trust your life with him you want to keep your money in safely if you die one of us uses the money because you ain't loving somebody they can poison you you don't understand what they can kill you they can ruin your life you see there's no self seeking let me try and move quickly next one law this one's a tough he said love is not easily angered it's not easily offended it's not easy it's all these we must talk today we must trust it out via basket you know when when i my wife tell people that we've not had the first quarrel it's always confusing and always they always don't found it in fact most don't even believe it now you need to understand we were mindful about 16 years not correct once now this doesn't mean we've not offended each other oh definitely as human beings we offend ourselves unknowingly and everything it happens oh we misunderstand ourselves that's normal but it has never degenerated into a quarrel it's never generated into an insult you know why two of us are cautiously and constantly trying to be a blessing to each other we are consciously and constantly working on these things so you will never see me say you are muammar you are useless i will kill you today you leave my house today about all those kind of mean things that people say something in their house every week they threaten each other with divorce every week that goku told you i've told you i'm leaving i've warned you already i'm packing my chainsaw every week it means both of you are not yet submitted under the leadership and rulership of christ now i'm telling you you a non-christian can't believe in this bible forget it it do not nothing they will help you for your lifestyle this thing is for somebody that has the spirit of god inside him that's what this this book is for that's what it says because citizens what they're calling love here is not what the normal human being can achieve by their power and i'll get to that fight close i have just 10 minutes i don't even know how about them 10 minutes i'll just wrap it up in 10 minutes so these are the things that we're talking about it's not easily angered i still told my wife a few days ago that how come because when i see the way some people some women refer to their husbands when i see where women talk to their husbands i sit in my mouth so why don't you ever talk to me like this because i'm not a perfect person at all if there's anybody perfect in my marriage is more my wife me i'm sometimes i'm separating from myself but great woman so i tell her how come you've never been rude you've never used this kind of words that i see some women use for their husbands i said she understands the fact that her commitment to me is first before the lord you see this this is what i'm saying you can't marry someone that doesn't already know the lord does not submit because the demands of marriage cannot be achieved humanly it was never designed for natural men and women never it was designed for men and women that have the spirit of god in them when i see the way some men even treat their wives i laugh there are still some modern people there's some new generation people and people in their 40s people in their 30s really young people that are still doing feeding money you're not feeding money they still have arguments in their house over feeding money they still have arguments in the house over how much sugar is what are you talking about in 2021 all my money is accept not even oh i don't have money our money is our money she's free i trust her to run the home to the best of her ability whoever is better in my financial mind should run the home not that you are now checking sugar checking crayfish no trust is going on no respect is going on hallelujah ah there's so much there's so much that we need to cover but there won't be time to come back so if you're in love these are the things we're talking about it's not self-seeking it's not easily angered so the husband is treating the wife not just the way he feels like but the way god expects him to and the wife is treating the husband not the way she feels like but the way god expects her to how does how does god expect them to each other ephesians 5 answers he's told the women that you'll be submissive and respectful because a woman's biggest challenge submitting to a man that is not moving as fast as she is and respecting a man when you have seen all these flaws because men have flaws they think they would the man you loving her the way christ loved the church that means sacrificing for her sacrificing your natural wishes for her hallelujah i have to move quickly now let me just rush there a minute said it's not easily angered i like the next one love keeps no record of wrongs so people even have a book where they've or not on their phone that they've saved all the things their husbands have done to them you can't even remember from 1982. it's a real love you said these are the things if you know this thing you can't be with me and get married because you know the the demands of it are heavy he said love does not keep record of wrong to be telling your husband and wife what did he do to you since last year then you are not in love if you are in love you will let go of the wrong especially when the person hasn't apologized if they have not apologized you can't keep record of wrongs so it's wrong for you women i know this one is a bigger struggle for you because generally you are wired to be past oriented you never you don't let go and women have incredible a memory selection they have forgetful memory but it's selective what do i mean women will forget when you told them i love you so you use them every day when you tell them you are stupid they will not forget that one forever i think you should switch it if you tell the one that you are stupid 1982 she'll remember so something i happen to say that's how you told me nothing to do i'm stupid i know you still think i'm stupid when you look at me sometimes i think you're thinking you think i'm stupid but i love you you told her yesterday she has forgotten me today she wants to hear another one oh my god all right he said it keeps no record of wrong i like the next one he said love does not delight in evil i can't waste time there but rejoices with the truth he said love always protects love always what trusts woo love always trusts he said i'm going out love always trusts they're not going to do anything stupid love always trusts with finances always trust with wisdom and judgment he says love always hopes always hopes that tomorrow will be better that will be good and love always perseveres love can stick it through love can stick you through the good times and the bad times and last one he said love never fails that's what i'm saying if people christians i can understand believer marriage is failing but for really two real christians or not church goers oh there are many churchgoers they haven't been watching me you know you're not a christian you know you'll just have a christian name and you go to church but you're not a christian but real christians are supposed to be able to make it marriage easily if they are both submitted to the spirit of god and to the laws of christ if they are submitted to it and that takes me to my closing remark somebody said pastor how do i know these things good that's why in the first place you as you as a christian should don't be falling in love with somebody that is not a christian these are the things you really should be looking out for that does this person know christ do they have the christ-like behavior are they submitted to christ when two people that really have the fear of god and yielded to god are getting married you see it's not just i love you because what made me think is that oh i love you you love me that should be enough no never done about who's a marriage it's do you fear god do you it's your love for god that is shorter for me than your love for me two people loving themselves can't hold their marriage it's their love for god when they have genuine love for god they will go beyond their feelings to do things that are right because they are being held by a higher standard not just by the annoying spouse so if a believer the bible makes it clear 7 corinthians 6 14. say don't be unequally yoked and unbeliever there are many reasons why it's mentioned and this part of it you see when you're a christian these principles here are not for the unbeliever that's why i said that you're in your believer world you know how have having a side chick is normal in the believer world i'm living in a certain way hiding your money is normal this is a number they're not for they're not for christians i mean they're not for non-christians these principles here are for real christians you can practice if somebody is not really saved it's just risky so god actually never expected you in your own strength to carry out these things no the plan from day one was that the spirit of god will be given to you to do this thing you will do these things not by your own strength nobody can really walk and do the things god expects in marriage by their power in fact nobody can even leave the christian life with the power nobody can do anything this bible by the power that's the difference between the old testament guys and the new testament guys because our friends asked me this question they say ah pastor you're talking about marrying one wife and doing marriage right he said but what of david that killed somebody and took his wife or they married the soul's wives and god still loved them and blessed him what have solomon that had 700 wives and 300 conquerors whatever and god still loved him and blessed them you know and now you are telling us here the new testament not do that what are all those things good question good question the difference is that in the old covenant in the old testament they did not have the supernatural equipment to do and to obey god's word they didn't have it there was no way they were going to keep it they were natural men they were not going to be able to keep it if you leave any natural man he will have many women in his life naturally speaking the difference is that now in the new testament god didn't only tell us what to do he empowered us by his spirit to do it that's the difference that's the difference that's the difference see romans chapter 5 verse 5 and i'll round up from here i'll round up from here romans chapter 5 and verse 5. i'm reading the esv version esv version i like it he says and hope does not put us to shame because god's love has been poured into our hearts through the holy spirit who has been given to us they say god's love has been poured that means god's the ability to love the way god wants it that ability has been poured into our hearts tonight a real born-again christian you have the capacity to love to do these things i said you have the capacity to do it you just have to be yielded to the holy spirit and we energize you who is strengthening you he will take over but your own natural strength definitely you can't do it definitely hallelujah so if you're a christian if you're a christian make sure you marry another christian i mean a real born-again christian not a nominal christian if you're a real born-again christian making your mind another born-again christian that understands the thing of spirit that is yielded to god not somebody you are the one dragging to church ah people you see you see as a rule when when people want to get married i ask them things like do you serving your church don't you understand if this guy has been going to church for 10 years and he's not serving anybody except himself for 10 years how do you think he's going to serve your marriage because marriage is something somebody else other than you if this fine girl is going to church for five years and she has not yet joined the department she's not in any service unit she's not doing anything in her life that is to benefit somebody else other than herself that means she has never tapped into the spirit of god inside her she has never tapped into the love of god inside her how is she going to be promising you that is going to serve you and you believe so that's what i'm saying one of the reasons i married my wife she was involved in children's church in her church she wasn't attending my church moment she was attending that good christian church here even right so she was in their children's church she said those days in our children's church they would go to even till now in our own church here they put in our children's church that don't entire church for one whole year or six months or five months because they're always serving they're taking care of other people's kids do you understand somebody's coming church every sunday it's not being paid it's thinking of other people's children anybody as children know what it means to take it with me sometimes i want to shout out children out to other people take care of children ask about our students when they run up and down small they can disturb and so these people come to church every sunday they might never have chance to sit down hear the world and dance to prison worship like you they just take care of other people's kids compare that to somebody that comes every sunday with her heels with her finger like this every week she will serve you okay i'm here can't say we have a cousin in line you will need counseling because she has no clue he has no clue what he's getting into service that's what you're signing for so you can't even practice now one of the reasons why it's very easy for me to love my wife is i've been loving people that never do anything for me for years i've been serving them so when they told me that i just have to serve only one person that should if i get my head i'm gonna suffer with my wife ah i said that's that small i've been rehearsing for 20 years i've been serving thousands of people that i don't even know you know remains to suffer only one person i can do that effortlessly but you're a regular in church you can't join anything you can't serve every day everybody serves you from the car park they help you park then greet us greet you then people there for sanitation help you you wash your hands you do sanitize then you come inside they greet you at the door then they give you chair then they put their friendly for you then they collect your friend from you then they sing for you then pastor preach for you only you 30 000 people serving you and you have not served one day and you want to marry you have an entitled mentality you are very inconsiderate and people that they may never be giving they are good i don't title they don't try to do so everybody is giving their money effort just for you and you nobody has ever touched you and you want to go marry so that you're supposed to continue serving you as the king of uh uh new york that you are um we are waiting for you you will come for counselling last last that's where it will end or it will end on insta-block when you divorce that's where to end is somebody got in this so real love what god expects is two believers that are practicing loving forgiving patience kindness forgiveness things like you're practicing as a christian normally and two of you come together and you walk so if you're in love this you must pass this love analysis test so go do it even if you're single you can do it even if you're in a relationship you can check it if you and your spouse are doing well if you're married definitely you can check go and write all the things i wrote from first question saying i score yourselves uh i am with 10 being the highest mark score yourselves and what if you have a discussion kindness 2 over 10. simple kindness 0 over 10. if your spouse have scored you know you score yourself if you're single yes you can call yourself if you're in a relationship that your fiance or fiance call you then you see where you need to work on you already have the supernatural capacity the holy spirit will help you and i believe you we have the marriage of your dreams in the name of jesus hallelujah were you blessed this morning hallelujah

Channel: DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE

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Id: GqA03s34SyA

Length: 51min 6sec (3066 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 15 2021