Identifying If He Is Husband Material - Wisdom Wednesdays

[Music] [Applause] [Music] hello welcome back to the channel thank you so much for tuning in today for subscribing for commenting for liking for all your support thank you so much if it's your first time welcome to the channel my name is daphne very excited to have you today if you're not subscribed please make sure that you do subscribe and you also click the notifications bell so that you don't miss out on the videos on this channel so welcome to winston wednesdays we're back again let's go straight into the word of the lord let's go to the book of ephesians chapter 5 verse 25 to verse 33 which says husbands love your wise just as christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse with the washing of the water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the lord does the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this is a great mystery but i speak concerning christ and the church nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband amen amen amen you know we've read this so many times but it's when you begin to look at christ it's when you begin to look at the church when you begin to look at god that you really begin to see the mysteries in the union of love of marriage of the plans and the purposes the process to get there and it's very important uh before marriage that we understand the process we understand the plan the image the vision that god had but before we look into that let us pray oh god i thank you for your people today i thank you for the singles watching in the video i thank you for those that are believing for marriage those that are in relationships dating on the process to marriage i think even for those who are maybe married that are watching this video lord open their eyes to understand your plans your purposes your vision oh god those that are in abusive relationships to find understanding and strength to leave father i pray for those that are being refined to be refined and to have liberation through this word oh god this we pray in the name of jesus let this word produce a harvest in their hearts of righteousness and holiness father and liberate them that they may know who you are and that they may know who they are in christ this we pray in the name of jesus thank you for vision and understanding thank you for your wisdom by the holy spirit amen and amen glory to god when it comes to the title husband the title wife it's not something that you need to understand on the wedding day it's something that you need to understand prior to the wedding day now the inventor of husband the inventor of wife and marriage is god himself he knows what it takes to be that he knows the grace that you need he knows the wisdom that you need he knows the strength that you need to do that god is able to make sure that you walk in that title and you walk in that purpose and that vision and that responsibility with all joy all peace all fulfillment because he created it and when we begin to include him in our relationships we begin to include him in our love lives things become a lot easier now in christianity we know that christ is the groom and the body of christ we who believe in jesus christ are the bride the church of god is the bride and jesus christ is the groom so we have to look at christ as the standard of marriage when we look at christ we begin to understand the bride and we begin to understand the father the father is the head of christ and christ is the head of the church so we have to look to him as the standard of marriage jesus christ is our standard of marriage your pastor and his wife are not the standard daphne and lloyd i don't understand it nor do we desire to be the standard jesus christ is our standard the problem that we have as human beings is is we are always looking for somebody to look up to we are looking for a standard an inspiration but sometimes the inspiration becomes a standard and when those people fail and they err we become very disappointed only god is perfect only jesus christ is perfect he is the lamb without blemish so today we want to look at christ as the standard if you're looking for a spouse you don't really know what to look for maybe there's just so much going on around your life you need understanding of what a husband really is what are the quality is what makes somebody husband material we have to look at christ and we're going to begin to understand about christ about the bride and about god the father but in order for us to understand we have to look at the jewish culture jesus christ is born a jew he's the king of israel yet he is the son of god so in the jewish culture when it came time for a man to be married it is the father who looked for the wife so the father would look for a wife for his son and present this potential wife to the son and we see this in the book of genesis we see that god brought the woman to adam and another example that shows that normally the custom is for the father to look for the bride is when samson looks for his own wife among the philistines the bible tells us that samson went to his father and his mother he says i've seen a woman in timna one of the philistine daughters get her for me as a wife so samson is saying that he has found his own wife and the father has to now go and get her to become his wife so the custom in the jewish was for the father to present a woman to be a potential wife now the woman was never forced there to be a mutual agreement mutual commitment that she's willing to get married this is what we see with rebecca to remember that abraham has said he had sent his servant to look for a wife away son isaac and rebecca came with the cattle and rebecca came with the livestock she watered the livestock she wanted the servant's livestock then they went to their house to the father's house then the father had to ask rebecca will you go with this man are you committed to going with this man so that you can marry the son of his master abraham his son isaac and rebecca agreed so the first thing in the jewish culture there's agreement there's commitment and in the same way child of god god never forces anyone to accept jesus christ his son to accept his only begotten son jesus christ to become their groom their lord and their savior and their master nobody forces you to be a christian it's a decision that you make of your own will god will never force his will on anybody now we know that christ has already chosen us but when we give our lives to him and we say be the lord and the master of my life we choose to be committed to him it's a commitment committed to serving him committed to this walk with him committed to work together with him it's a commitment that we make this is the same thing in the jewish culture it was a commitment we make a commitment to the world the bride to be would make a commitment to the groom that yes i will go with you then the next thing that happens is that the exchange covenant vows and the covenant vow is sealed with a cup of wine now this stage is called betrothal but it's a very serious thing because they enter into a marriage she becomes a bride he becomes a groom and they begin to exchange vows and he pays bride price he pays the price to acquire her as his wife now after he does that they don't live together they don't live together but they live separately for one year while he goes to prepare a place for her in the same way we have entered a covenant with god and jesus christ paid the price with his own blood he paid the sacrifice on the cross and before he pays the price he says father if you're willing take away this cup there's a spiritual cup a sacrifice that jesus christ made on the cross and so we entered into covenant with him when we believe that he died for us and that he rose again just in the same way in the jewish culture now jesus christ has gone to prepare a place for us this he tells us in the scripture i go and prepare a place for you it says in my father's house there are many rooms i go and prepare a place for you then i will come back and receive you so the groom in the jewish culture would go and prepare a place for the bride however the bride had a responsibility of preparing herself for her groom so she had to prepare her garments her wedding garments and also she had to have lamps burning oil in these lamps because the groom would come at any time sometimes the groom would even come at night and he would sound the chauffeur and there'll be a procession so that he can lead the bride to the place that he has prepared for her so that they can live together this is why we are preparing for the coming of the lord yes we'll be caught up in the clouds but we are preparing and he says that he might come in the night so we have to be prepared we have to be ready wearing our garments of righteousness our garments of salvation we do not take them off we are committed to christ and making sure that our lamps are burning we are watching making sure that our oil is there we have the oil the holy spirit is the anointing making sure that our lamps are burning the word of god the working of the word of god and the holy spirit in our lives we are producing fruit we are preparing ourselves we are wearing our garments we are producing the fruits of the spirit as a result of the oil and the light working together in our lives in the same way this is what would happen in the jewish culture now i need you to stay with me because we are going somewhere we have a lot to cover but i need you to stay with me it's important that you understand the picture of marriage understand the picture of the bride in christ and so comes maybe at night leading a procession he sounds the chauffeur and the bride knows that her groom has arrived and she comes out wearing her garments with her lamp burning and she goes with the group leads awaiting procession to the place that he has prepared then the last thing is the marriage supper they celebrate the wedding the marriage supper and we are yet to experience that we are yet to celebrate the marriage supper are we prepared are you preparing for the marriage supper as the bride the bride is every believer everyone who believes that jesus christ is the son of god and that he died for them and that he rose again as long as you believe in jesus christ you are the bride not only collectively but also individually so that is the picture of marriage and this is why the lord would say all the things that he said it's taken from the jewish culture now if we read back in the scriptures it says husband love your wife as christ loved the church i want to ask you a question when did christ begin to love the bride when did christ start to love you and i is it when we are born again is it when we entered into covenant is it when we said be the lord in the master of our lives is it when we are perfect and we are proverbs 31 women is it when we have no blemishes and we have no flaws no it is before when does his love begin to be sacrificial is it when you're already a proverbs 31 woman is it when you're so perfect you can pray so much you can pray two hours a day you can fast 40 hours a week you can read all the scriptures in the old testament when is he meant to love you as christ love the church is it on the wedding day after your vows is it is it when you are without blemish without fault flawless when does he begin to be sacrificial so this means that this husband the man that you're about to get married to the man who's going to find you the husband material the love does not begin on the wedding day child of god this love that is sacrificial begins way before way before the vows way before the wedding these are things that you should begin to see before marriage now we want to look at the life of christ so that we can trace what are these traits that show that this is husband material this man is husband material what is the trace that shows that christ is a standard in this man's life we have to look at the life of christ he's a life here on earth because he came to purchase us with his blood he came to make us his bride he came to restore us to restore what was stolen to restore our position as his bride therefore let us look at him the standard he's the standard of what a husband is so how did he live his life number one there must be a willingness to grow in the things of god we see this through jesus christ as a young boy luke chapter 2 verse 40. the bible tells us that the child grew and became strong in spirit filled with wisdom and the grace of god was upon him one way to know that somebody is a husband material is the willingness to grow in the things of god actively growing in the things of god now most people think that a husband has to be a pastor a man of god and a man of god a pastor and he has to be on a pulpit this is how i know that he's husband material no not really because people had different levels of faith some people just got born again maybe your husband is only one year in the lord but the willingness to grow in the things of god willingness to actively grow in faith and maturity the child grew strong this is god himself but yet the word of god in the flesh there is a willingness there is a growth it shows us that if god can do it then we can do it if god can do it then your husband can do it this willingness and this growth in the spirit is what forms character it forms a character and the bible is telling us that he had favor with god and favor with people favor doesn't just come upon you just like that because you're born again you know people think because i'm born again i have favor yes you have unmerited favor but there's a certain kind of favor that grows as you grow in the spirit there is favor that grows as you grow in wisdom the bible tells us that he became strong in spirit and he was filled with wisdom it's something that increases favor is something that grows it's not something that is just unmerited that's one dimension of it but there's another dimension that grows from glory to glory a grace as you grow in the spirit in the things of god it's like a grace it begins to multiply and so there was favor in the life of jesus christ as a young boy a godly husband has to be willing to grow in the things of god if there's no willingness to grow in the things of god what is he willing to grow in the things of what is he growing is it just entertainment growing in the knowledge of football growing in the knowledge of computers growing in the knowledge of his career what about the willingness to grow in the things of god number two his friends and acquaintances show you where he's going in life his friends and acquaintances will show you where he is going in life you may not know what to look for but look at his friends look at his acquaintances they will show you where this man is going the bible tells us in matthew chapter 3 verse 13 to 15 that then jesus came from galilee to john and then jordan to be baptized by him and john tried to prevent him saying i need to be baptized by you and you are coming to me but jesus answered and said permitted to be so now for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness then he allowed him john was acquainted with christ not just in this moment but even when they were still in the womb there was a connection between john and jesus and if you look at john you can see where jesus is going john the baptist is somebody who is a voice crying out in the wilderness preparing the way of the lord he is ushering the coming in of christ at that time and so the people in a man who is a husband material ought to be people that add value to his purpose they add value to his vision they add value to his destiny and maybe he doesn't have a vision but they add value to his life also if you see jesus christ he chooses 12 disciples and if you look at the 12 disciples you can see where they are going so jesus himself adds value to the 12 disciples and they become 12 apostles so it works both way his friends will add value to him and he will add value to his friends that's one thing you need to really look at it's very important husband material his friendships his acquaintances speak of his future number three he is led by the holy spirit in his decisions not by fear not by intimidation and not by emotions but he is led by the holy spirit we see this in the life of christ and the age of 30 matthew chapter 4 verse 1 the bible tells us that the holy spirit led jesus in the wilderness to be tempted by the devil who gets led into a wilderness to be tempted by the devil who actually gets led to something that isn't very favorable something that isn't very enjoyable something that doesn't really bring any joy any happiness but the spirit of god is leading him that means that jesus christ understood the leading of the holy spirit before his ministry began before he began to walk in his purpose in his assignment and mission he had to be led by the holy spirit a husband has to be led by the holy spirit it doesn't begin on the wedding day these are things that you see way before what is he led by is he led by the news all the bad news that is happening all over the world is fear leading this man what is it that leads him is it emotion a lot of emotion that is leading him what is it that leads him what is it that he can count on this is something that you can begin to look at jesus christ our standard for a husband was led by the holy spirit number four he has purpose and he knows his purpose in life matthew chapter 4 verse 13 to 17 it says in leaving nazareth he came and drought in keeping them which is by the sea in the regions of zebulun and naphtali that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by isaiah the prophet saying the land of zebulun and the land of naftali by the way of the sea beyond the jordan galilee of the gentiles the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light and upon those who sat in the region and the shadow of death light has dawned from that time jesus began to preach and to say repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand now i want you to understand that purpose is not what you do purpose is not what we do purpose is the reason and the why behind what we do the bible tells us that there was a great light light has dawned in this region and then later on it tells us that jesus began to preach it's not in the preaching it was the reason behind the preaching light illumination bringing light to the eyes of people who cannot see opening the eyes of the blind and bringing understanding that was the purpose behind his preaching does this man have a purpose in life you see it's not about us making a lot of money it's not about driving a lot of cars what is the purpose behind why he makes a lot of money what is the purpose what is the purpose behind going to that job what is the purpose behind the things that it does is there a purpose or is it just a way of life is it emptiness is it coming from a place that is a void there is no reason behind the work no reason behind the actions why does he want to be a preacher what is the purpose behind it is it so that he can be seen on flyers is it so that he can travel the world and have a status or a title being a pastor why do you do the things that you do what is the purpose is the purpose the purpose of jesus was to be a great light and the purpose began to be shown through preaching you see you can do so many different things in life and have one purpose you can be a carpenter you can be a healer you can be a preacher you can be a teacher you can be an apostle of faith but the purpose is to bring light jesus was a carpenter's son i don't know if he was a competitor himself he healed people he taught people he preached to people he delivered people from sicknesses and from evil spirits and he's also known as the apostle of faith why because of purpose it doesn't matter how many things that you do how many streams of income that you do if you have purpose then it would have meaning then there's meaning behind his passion behind there's a reason why you wake up every day what is his reason for waking up every day how dangerous it is to be in a relationship with somebody that doesn't have a purpose in life no purpose no direction no purpose no vision no purpose no meaning to life sometimes depression comes as a reason of having no purpose it's not always about lack or about i don't have this so i feel depressed sometimes it's a lack of vision lack of motivation you're not motivated because there's no purpose does this man have a purpose is there a why behind what it does in life it's very important for a husband to have purpose we live in a world that is trying to feminize man a world that is trying to steal men's masculinity kill and destroy their manhood this is why purpose is so important that they do not lose their manhood they do not lose their masculinity they do not lose their authority and their power we live in a world that is trying to steal and dim the light of many men this is why purpose is important number five he is transparent about his intentions with you after jesus christ is growing in the spirit growing in wisdom we see that he's being led by the holy spirit and we see that his purpose is coming to life and he's beginning to walk in the influence of his purpose and now this is where we come in as the bride in luke chapter 4 verse 18 he says the spirit of the lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind to set at liberty those who are oppressed and to proclaim the acceptable year of the lord jesus declares his intentions to the jews [Music] a man who is husband material declares his true intentions with you the intentions of the lord was to heal not to abuse to add not to subtract to liberate not to imprison to open the eyes not to blind the eyes if you're with a man in a relationship and he's abusing you he's not husband material he's really not if you're in a relationship and you're choked you feel choked in there you feel like a prisoner you don't feel liberated you don't feel like you're healing or you're moving in progress you don't feel like you're becoming even more whole there's something that a man whose standard is christ does in your life he will change your life he will declare his true intentions with you his intentions are not to sleep with you he's not there to sleep with you he's there to liberate if somebody is sleeping with you before marriage that means that they are stealing from you that person is a thief they are not being led by the holy spirit they are not showing or demonstrating that they are growing in the things of the spirit that person is stealing from you child of god his intentions have to be true what is he doing in your life what is his purpose in your life is it just to date uh just to date until he finds something better is it just to spend time and to post pictures on social media to show that he has a girlfriend is it just to change your facebook status is it just to show date nights why are you in a relationship with somebody whose intentions have not been declared to you why is he with you what is the purpose why are you with me why do you love me and do you love me because jesus christ is not just liberating people he's not coming to proclaim the acceptable year of the lord and to heal and to open the eyes he's doing this because he loves the jews he loves the gentiles he loves people the motivation is love what is the motivation behind the man that you're dating why is he there what motivates him to date you what motivates him to get to know you is there anything is there vision is there anything that is like love that is motivating up how can he love me he doesn't know me yet okay but does he like you does he really like you and like is not infatuation like does he like you as a person does he like who you are does he like you with all your flaws and all your mistakes and all your process of becoming whole and healing is he in tune with that does he like you does he like you for who you are or are you trying to change yourself or you feel like you have to live up to an expectation he has come to heal there are no expectations there's no trying to live like i'm healed for jesus has come to heal me i can be transparent it is sight i can say lord i've had a really bad day today these people are getting on my nerves i need you to help me to be a little bit more patient there's no fear in the presence of the lord because you know that he has come to heal to open my eyes to liberate me to see things not only selfishly but also to be selfless to understand other people's perspective when people do me wrong and they do me dirty to have understanding and wisdom he has come to open my eyes can you say the same about a man that you're engaged to you're engaged right now my god you are engaged and you're scared to break it up because you do not you don't want people to laugh at you i'm speaking to somebody watching this video you are engaged you're gonna be married but you know this man he's not liberating me this man has not come to bring any healing in my life in fact he's abusing you in fact he makes you to feel like you are nothing child of god it is very dangerous to enter into marriage because you're scared that people will laugh at you if you break up you cannot enter into a lifetime commitment with abuse child of god is very important does he like you enough does he love you is there liberation in what he does and what he brings to the table child of god number six he follows through his true intentions he follows through his intentions and his promises the bible tells us in luke chapter 19 verse 47 and he was teaching daily in the temple but the chief priests the scribes the leaders of the people sought to destroy him jesus says i have come to proclaim the acceptable year of the lord the spirit of the lord is upon me and i've come to bring liberation to set the captives free he followed through what he said and he's preaching daily despite opposition when his family begin to say we don't like her she's too educated we don't like it she doesn't dress like our people in our culture we don't really like her she doesn't really know how to really cook all kind of meals we don't really like her when your friends begin to say she's too fat she's too thin her hair is not long enough when his friends begin to say things that come in between your relationship when your friends when his friends his acquaintances his relatives and society begin to speak like the voices of the pharisees and the scribes it does he follow through his promises his promise to take you out on the day that he said he will take you out he's promised to do this for you when he promised that he'll do it for you that's his promise of engagement and the time frame that he gave you does he follow through with his promises despite opposition despite who believed despite who he's hating despite what society says society says she doesn't look like a supermodel why don't you find somebody who looks like a supermodel after all you drive a bentley you can't get anybody why do you need her this is what society says when the financial markets say she's not that educated you can find somebody more educated who will help you build an empire of wealth what will he do when society speaks louder than the voice of the holy spirit child of god the standard has to be led of the holy spirit he has to keep his word in his promises he has to follow through what he said it's very important because in marriage it's very important to follow through it's very important because in marriage almost every day you have to follow through what you promised you have to follow through with your vows to love to forgive to serve every day you will have to follow through a marriage so if he's not following through now it doesn't show up on the date it doesn't show up at the time when he said he will show up he said he will call you today at 5 pm he doesn't call you for a week he's not following up jesus followed up by teaching the bride this is why he's in the temple every day he's teaching the jews he's in the temple every day demonstrating what he said he would do that is healing opening the eyes of the blind bringing deliverance bringing liberation setting the captives free mentally he is following through what he said he will do this is why he's teaching every day despite opposition number seven he demonstrates sacrificial love this one is so important jesus christ suffered before the cross he suffered ridicule every day the pharisees would challenge him almost every time there were people trying to kill him and the bible would tell us that he slipped among them he suddenly would slip among them they tried to stone him he suffered many ways he suffered rejection from his family and he said my family my mothers and my brothers are those that hear my word he suffered rejection he suffered hate but the greatest demonstration is this he was beaten 39 lashes they twisted a crown of thorns they nailed him on the cross he suffered to demonstrate his love for us for god so loved the world that he gave jesus christ came as a sacrificial lamp we might have seen the full harvest of this sacrifice at the age of 33 but he already came as a sacrificial lamp child of god your husband has to come with the sacrificial love it might be fully manifested on your honeymoon yes it will be fully manifested at your honeymoon it will be fully manifested after you say your vows but he comes in his character with sacrificial love now as believers the love of god has been poured out in our hearts by the holy spirit so already the unconditional agape love is at work in us so there's no excuse what sacrifices does he make for you can you look at one thing can you count anything that shows that he sacrifices for you his time finances intellect wisdom is there anything that shows that there is sacrifice here husbands love your wives he wants to marry you he calls you his wife to be and you're gonna be his wife he'll find the wife finds a good thing you find a wife before she's your wife so he says that he has found you as a wife but what and where is the sacrifice if you cannot see the sacrifice now when will you see it is it on the honeymoon what you sacrifice his body for you through intimacy is it just about intimacy what about other areas is he just talking about what he wants to do on the honeymoon but where is the sacrifice of time where is the sacrifice sacrifice of even resources you know there are some people in relationships whereby maybe the fiance is really well off and the lady is not very well off it maybe she cannot even pay bills she can't even maybe get any food but you find that the fiance will not help her because she's not yet his wife so he doesn't help her in any way there's no sacrifice helping somebody should come from a place of kindness it doesn't come from a place of should come from a place of kindness it should come from a place of just being generous it should come from a good place it should not come from a place of because i've done this you need to do this for me because i helped you with your rent you now need to sleep with me because i've helped you pay that bill that they were about to send to the solicitors now you need to do something for me sacrifice that is unconditional sacrifice that is not about money and rules concerning money and laws concerning money sacrifice that comes from a place of love what sacrifice has he made it's very important because in marriage there's a lot of sacrifices you need to make many people suffer in the first year of marriage because they've not learned how to sacrifice they not learned how to be selfless and so it becomes so difficult for them because they have not learned the secrets of being sacrificial sacrificial love child of god there are many things that we can learn from christ the standard of what a husband is but i believe that these seven things can really begin to help you these seven things are things you can look into if you believe in god for marriage maybe you're dating around and you don't really know what to look for you're just dating for the sake of dating but you can date with purpose you can be in a relationship with purpose you can say yes i'll be committed to you with purpose being engaged with purpose courting with purpose entering marriage with purpose christ is the standard now we know about marriage christ is the standard he's our groom and we are the bride we are waiting for his coming we are preparing ourselves don't date without purpose don't just enter relationships with people that do not show any fruit for the sake of saying i have a husband at home many people are crying in their homes and many people believe that marriage cannot be sweet because of their experiences what they're experiencing has closed and darkened their eyes from seeing the beauty the sweetness of marriage god wants you to have a sweet marriage god wants you to experience the honey of marriage god wants to ex wants you to experience the heaven on earth for marriage child of god but you have to be willing to see things his way to look at the standard christ not to look at daphne and lloyd not to look at your pastor and his wife not to look at jay-z and beyonce god bless them but jesus is the standard child of god begin to look at christ and begin to eliminate among the wolves you can begin to see through it you can begin to find direction and then your no will mean no and when people come to you that are wolves you'll be able to recognize because perception and discernment is growing inside of you so i urge you to study the life of christ and you all know what a husband ought to be and what he ought to look like god bless you take care bye [Music]

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Length: 39min 0sec (2340 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 18 2021