-Alright, we're checking out
the only game where the best way to beat a game is to cheat like hell. It's GTA. I'm wearing my finest pink jumpsuit today
because I've been told that I'm going to be--
Oh my God, the wall of text is real. I'm gonna be participating in Squid Game,
but I sure as hell ain't doing it the right way.
And so we'll go through a couple of the games winning
in the only way that we know how, like a total jackass. I've been told it gets pretty ridiculous. In case you're wondering who Hex is,
this is the poor bastard that has to reign me in. He's like the manager,
so he tries to keep me on schedule. "Sorry, Gray, but all your content
got demonetized, big surprise. Apparently,
killing and torturing everything that moves in your videos isn't considered
family-friendly on YouTube. Who knew? I actually told you a hundred times. Anyway, to cut it short, you're broke. You're so poor you only have a calendar
to use as your toilet paper.” I don't know what this means. I mean, technically,
it's better than nothing. "You're so poor I can't even make a joke
at your expense.” Okay, that one I understand. Hex, that was pretty good. Wait, what did it say?
"You get it. So this is goodbye, Gray. By the way, you owe me 400 grand." Yeah. Yeah, tell it to the train. So, I don't know,
I guess I just follow the arrows. I'm actually kind of curious
just how specific this gets to Squid Game. "Hey, Gray,
heard you went from riches to rags. Wanna make some money?” Okay, real quick, I love
how the very first thing I thought about making money would be something
totally inappropriate, and then the text goes on "Not sex-related". The person who wrote this knows me
better than my parents. "A complete stranger you've just met
in the underground has something you might be interested in.
Come with me.” I'm going to get backhanded a lot,
aren't I? Lucky for you, I've been backhanded
all my life. Let's do it.
"I heard you like games, so I'm sure you've played Ddakji a bunch.” No, I've never played this. "That one South Korean game that kids
in Korea used to play in the '90s.” I'm in Florida. I appreciate how much this guy thinks
that South Korea is like South Florida. "Instead of folded papers,
you're gonna have to flip cars.” Oh, that actually sounds kind of amazing. "Here, grab a gun
and flip a car on its roof. If you succeed, you get 10 grand,
but every time you fail, you jump to your death.
Welcome to Squib Ga." Wait a minute,
I have enough room [?] squib. All right, give me the guns. Okay, so-- Oh, okay. I love how instead of the paper,
it's vehicles. Is there anyone inside? What a fantastic--
There's like a family of four in there. Okay, so all I have to do is flip it
onto its roof to get into Squib Game I'm sorry Squib Ga. All right, and I don't know, like here? Boom. Got-- Okay, hold on. That was just bad luck. There. Watch, boom. Damn it. Okay, now that I'm against the wall,
why are you getting further from me. [screams] Real men land on their head. This is surprisingly harder
than it looks, damn it. Now it's- because it's against the wall,
this is incredibly difficult. Hold on, am I allowed to move the car? I'm moving the car, you go to hell. Freaking car against the wall. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. The ground and I are fantastic friends. Okay, listen. Move away from the other car. Away, damn it. There. The best part about Squib Game
is I can't actually even join it. All right, this is-- Okay,
if-if this doesn't work, I don't- I don't want to say
because it probably won't work. There, there. No. I hate my life. There's gonna be
a lot of blood spots down here. Okay, closer. There. Yes, [laughs] I did it,
I did it, I did it. Do you know what that smell is? My hatred. This guy's probably like, "What hatred?” Let me show you something. Here, come with me, my son,
we're gonna play a different game. You got five seconds to get in the car
or I kill you. One, two, three, four, better run, five. What's going on? Yeah, all I had to do is flip the car
on its roof, right? All I had to do was flip it on its roof. That's all I had to do. The game's not over
until it's on its roof. How are you doing in there, buddy? You good? Guess what, car's on its roof. Here, you're welcome. I'm sure he's fine.
Welcome to Squid Game. Oh, I found how to get
to the next part of the board. Figures I would have to jump off this
for, like, the 30th time. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Arrows. Oh, now, he's all beaten up, huh? "I'll tell you all. I work for people
that organize survival games. If you beat all of them, you get millions. Here's a card with a number. If you call it,
they'll tell you a meeting place. They'll kidnap you and take
all your belongings you have on you to make a fair competition
and deliver you to a facility. I think I'm gonna throw up." I feel really bad that, like, I don't have
a car in here to throw at you. "Remember this day. Gray still plays, son.” All right. Let's get ready for the games I guess. Oh, this isn't actually the game at all. This is like my bathroom. Why am I in the bathroom? Why are there two toothbrushes here? There's gu-- Oh, there are guns. There's guns, toothpaste, and a medkit. "I think you know what to do, Gray.” "I mean, I think I know what to do too,
but I'm not gonna sit here and say that toothpaste
is the best lubricant you could've come up with. At least it's a big tube." All right. The guns are firmly implanted
into my digestive tract. Let us begin the Squid Games. "The password?” Uh, we actually kinda skipped past
the phone part, so I don't have a password. Is that not good enough? Is this, like, voice-activated? Do I need to do something special
for the password? Is there literally anything I could do
to get in that van? This is the first time ever
that someone has wanted to get into the unmarked black van, give me a break. You know what? Fine.
"Cauliflower.” "Get in.” The password was cauliflower?
I have to get in the back? Also, what happened
to the Squid Game guy's head? He's got, like,
elephantiasis of the skull. Are you hiding another Squid Game worker
inside of your helmet? He is like,
"Why are you getting so close to me?” Your head actually has
its own gravitational pull. It's pulling me inward. All right, whatever, let's go onward. And, no, there's nothing up my colon. Uh, is this a legitimate wake-up scene? Oh, hi. Was that an explosion? I'm pretty sure I just heard
the explosion outside of the facility. I'm the only person that got a number,
and it's 69. What, they ran out of paint? What, they run out of costumes? I'm still wearing the pink jumpsuit. "Wakey wake, sleepyhead. You're the last one,
Lucky number [chuckles] 69.” Yeah, it's my favorite number. "It looks like they ran out of costumes.” I love how there's just some lady
chilling out over here, and she's like, "Help, I'm getting kidnapped again.” This is a common occurrence. Lady looks over at you,
and she's like, "First time.” All right, who else?
There's, like, a ton of people here. Does this say, "Five more minutes, Mom"?
Okay. I'm not your mother.
"I gotta get home. I left the iron on.” "Are we in Disneyland?” This is, like, the best bunch of people
you could possibly have for this game? "This is a scam.” "Who changed my clothes and underwear?” I never really thought about it. Like, they put all the Squid Game people
in uniforms. Are they still wearing
their own underwear? "I told you I need money
for a hair transplantation, and your broke ass
can't even afford a wig.” "If I knew you were so poor,
I'd never marry you.” "I said from the beginning,
you are literally everything I have.” That's both romantic and sad. "I'll eat a child to get that money.” What number are you? I want to be your partner. We're clearly going to win. -Watch out.
-Oh, sorry, Jesus. "What happens
if you lose in your Squib Ga?” So, it is Squib Ga. They didn't just run out of letters,
they're just running with this. [chuckles] "As long as
there's no physical games involved, I'm in.”
Gotta come over here to the triplicates of gigantic core [?]. "You're all here because you're broke
and need money.” You guys don't really pull any punches,
do you? "That's why we offer you to play
a series of Squib Ga. If you win, you get all this money.” What money? [music] Oh, there literally is money. Leave it to Grat to miss
the most obvious thing in the entire room. The first game is called Red Light,
Green Light. Hey, I just wanted to let you know,
your head reminds me of a gigantic Christmas ornament. Your head is like a gigantic,
juicy-filled grape. I wanna take a bite out
of your massive head like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime. All right. Let's do Red Light, Green Light. Here we go.
Uh-- Oh. "Rules. Go when green is open.
Freeze when red is open.” Oh, they legitimately made
a green and red. I also appreciate that the way
that the screen moves, like, only red or green is open at any one time. Are any of you guys going? "Stay here. I won't go.” "Proceed.” I love how everyone
is just totally proceeding here. No, not everyone will go at the same time. Oh, that's the Red Light,
Green Light girl. I hate that girl. I swear to God, I'm gonna-- Oh, actually-- Listen, I put this up my ass for a reason. Oh, she's got guns. F the rules. Kill him. Oh. Oh, they're going crazy over here. Ah, it's red, everyone. I-- Hold on a second.
I have an idea. All right, you ready for this?
All right, you go there. We're gonna get to the end of this
without taking one single shot. Watch. Okay, hold on. Hold on.
Okay, you four. Here we go. [laughs] Hold on. [laughs] We don't follow the rules
on this channel. Hey, Red Light, Green Light girl. I'm coming. He's straight-up cheating. [laughs] [?]. I love to cheat. Go, go, go, go, go. Ugh. Did that do it? [chuckles] Oh, it's like me
and, uh, I don't know, like with 10 Other people maybe. You and I are going to be becoming
good friends. I'm gonna do
what everyone's dreamed of doing. You're running the damn course now. So, yeah, I run Squib Ga now. What's gonna happen now?
Isn't that cheating? How--What did it say? "How did you manage
to sneak guns in here?” Let me ask you something, good sir. What is the best use for toothpaste? He's probably, like,
"Uh, to clean your teeth.” What is the second-best? That's how I got the guns in. All right, Red Light, Green Light girl. Guess what?
Squid Game's about to start. When I say red light, you have to stop. When I say green light, you can go. Oh, God, please. No, Gray. You should have thought about that
before you killed all my nameless friends. Oh,
the kidnapped girl's actually still alive. Good for you.
All right, you got 60 seconds to get across the field. You ready? Red light. That's it. In case you're wondering, there-there are
actually is no green light. Your job is to just die. Oh, now, you're running, huh? Now, you're going to run, huh? It's red light.
Why are you running? It's red light. [laughs] All you have to do
is make it to the end. Go on, you could do it.
Yeah, that's it. Move those giant size 13 feet. Whoop. Back to the beginning. This is how it is. This is what--
This is your worst nightmare, isn't it? The one guy in Squib Ga with a gun. Here, I'll help you out.
I'll help you out. Great. Hold on.
Hold on. All right. There, look, you're closer now. Look, how close you are. You're right there.
All you have to do is to get to the end. Psych. Whoa. Hold on. Hold on.
I got an idea. I got an idea.
I got an idea. Here, here, here. Hold on. Here. Go back.
Go back to the beginning. You gotta start back in the beginning. Here. There. Are you ready? Ready? [laughs] Oh, oh, oh, you're right there. You just gotta-- Oh, no. [chuckles] Legit, the Squid Game,
I'm sorry, the Squib Ga girl moonwalks better than Michael Jackson.
Look at this. [laughs] Okay, okay okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I gotta-- The game is supposed to be-- It's not supposed to be impossible.
Oh, here. You can go.
You can go. You can go.
Come here, kidnap girl. I need you real quick. Come here. Get down there.
Get down there. I want to try something.
I want to try something. Oh, come on.
Oh, football tackle. Come on, Squid Game girl.
You can do it. Whoa. [laughs] Hold on. Hold on. There you go.
You did it. Yeah. [chuckles] Okay. Are we done with the Squib Ga? "Get us back.”
"No, let's stay.” "Let's go home.” "Vote or die. We want to go home. You can't just kill a--” What's it say?
"You can't just kill us like animals.” All right, real quick. Hold on. Before people start casting vote,
I just wanna make a real quick-- All right, let that be a lesson to anyone
who plans on voting to leave. This is fun, guys. Let's stay.
I like this girl. Out of the way.
I wanna read what this says. We'll decide by voting. If the majority of you votes to leave,
we will let you go. Please proceed to the voting room. Okay. Oh, should I probably put my gun away? All right, let me shove this
back up my rectum. Oh, we have a tie. Oh, it's 12 to 12. "Only a deranged psychopath
would want to continue. Press the red--”
Are you trying to talk me out of it? You realize who you're talking to, right? "This torture is only gonna get worse.
Let's go home. That's the cheater.” "I know him, it's GrayStillPlays. He's-" what-- "He's great at making
all the right choices. We're going. Hooray!" I just want to mention something,
good sir. You look like you're like 30-35,
how did you get to this point? That was the dumbest thing
I've ever heard anyone say. Even Daenerys over here
is like don't say it. All right, let me- let me look
at the green team over here. I love team green.
"Please let's continue. My husband died for it.
I have to do this.” Oh, it's the hair transplant lady.
Okay, what else we got? "Let's carry on,
I'm getting the hang of it.” "I'll eat ya if the-
if you press the red button.” Oh, the child eater is back. I love
how all of the most screwed-up people survived
and they're all on the green team. Okay, so player number 69, okay,
obviously, we're going to press green. Green.
Oh, green actually brought me into an entire new scene. Oh, the girl's back. "I'm back, [curse word]. Glad you decided to stay around.”
Yeah, 13 to 12. Lucky number 13. We're gonna have some fun with you. Oh my God. [laughs] Hey, hey, you okay? I'm not gonna lie, you look hot. No, like, literally,
you're-you're still on fire. I guess this girl
and I are now best friends. Well, I guess me and my 12 bros over here
are gonna continue the games. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of GTA. Until next time, stay foxy, and much love.
