I Committed Warcrimes with Poo In Rimworld

some longtime fans may be aware of my obsession of utilizing people's poo for my own benefit now for those that don't know that's a pretty bold statement but hear me out now most people seem to underestimate the power of poo as when it's refined into chem fuel it can be used for a variety of different things like powering your home creating alcohol that makes you explode upon death but most importantly it can be refined into deadly weapons of war so I've taken it upon myself to show you the power of your own excrement by giving myself the challenge to build an Economy based on poo and then fund a crusade to destroy my neighbors now to make sure we don't succumb to the effects of being burned to death by our own poo I've created a special xenotype that will instead thriven it our group of specially selected colonists will all be fire immune super heat resistant and immune to pollution to balance out our traits I gave my colonists a poor Tas in art vibrant red hair and an addiction to hard drugs essentially I had pretty much created an enhanced version of the waster Xeno type which honest to God the game named itself boner I launched into the game with our three trusty boners Mike White and jet and after doing a brief assessment of the map I had discovered I had a single strategic Advantage a single entry point which we could abuse with a killbox later on however we were also surrounded by a vast cave Network that was infested with bugs which I counted by just sealing them off for the time being and worrying about that later because for now it was time to erect some buildings I built a Barracks a warehouse and finally the most important thing the latrine now to actually transform our colonist waste into valuable resources we were first going to need a designated area for collecting poo then once we have researched biofuel refining we can then refine our feal sludge into usable chem fuel from here we can then use the chem fuel as a source of renewable power Brew it into cable chem shine or utilize it as fuel for discussions about the borders with our neighbors so I set Mike C with a research bench and gave him the task of figuring out biofuel refining following this I planted some rice fields named our faction accordingly my base had begun to shape up nicely M [ __ ] however my unique architecture had attracted some unwanted attention a man named Howard who was armed with a hammer and a misguided sense of ambition to destroy my shaft tried to engage Us in single combat where he brought a hammer and white brought a rifle idiot after pilfering the clothes from Howard's corpse we had managed to produce our first barrel of valuable feal sludge simultaneously Mike had finished researching biofuel refining so it was now time to create a chemfuel generator however I uh I ran into the problem of needing power to create fuel to fuel the generator presented with two options we weighed our choices carefully on one hand we could dip our toes into squeaky clean renewable green energy but on the other hand we could build something called a toxified generator which simply works by sucking the lifeblood out of the environment and turning it into a desolate Wasteland yeah I think we're uh we'll go with that one now with a little bit of pollution powering the base we were able to begin the process of refining our poo but not before I stumbled across a few problems firstly I had complet completely forgotten to give myself some drugs which meant my colonists were currently suffering from the effects of withdrawal while the effects were minor for now this wasn't really a problem but if I left you for too long our colonist would eventually drop into a coma and die to prevent this from happening I placed down some emergency drug fields and prayed that nothing else would go wrong oh no no no no no no no not good not good right now you're probably thinking it's just a thunderstorm ra calm down while this may be a mere inconvenience for most people this posed a significant threat to my band of fire worshippers because if they extinguish the fire they would receive a minus 20 mood debuff minus 20 for 6 days unfortunately the psychological strain of extinguishing a godamn fire proved too much for our poor boy jet oh for [ __ ] sake and it might just has a catatonic because he extinguished a [ __ ] fire this is probably a good time to talk about what exactly are r ology was simply titled the fire worshippers our little Collective believed in excessive drug use being a pirate and burning people to death following the incident were a few slow and painful days while we waited for our emergency drugs to grow in the meantime I had given Mike the task of researching psychi Brewing believing that a stimulating tea would provide a more wholesome alternative than crack for the time being a semblance of Peace had prevailed and our daily routine for our colonists consisted of consuming some herbal tea followed up by a quick suck on the exhaust pipe of our toxified generator now both high and stimulated our colonists would set off to complete their daily tasks until one day our peaceful existence was shattered by an unexpected Intruder a single man arrived and broke through one of the walls blocking off the insect infested caves uh he then stole a shirt and ran anyway with our initial early game problems resolved I thought was about time we started to build some sort of of an economy instead of refining the feal matter and then selling the chem fuel at an incredibly low price we decided to take our home brewed chem Fuel and ferment it into chem shine many of you probably know what chem shine is at this point but for those that don't it's an alcoholic drink which makes you dangerously volatile when consumed basically turning your body into a weapon more importantly when you think about it though we just created an endless cycle of free money as long as our colonists keep pooping but with only three colonists our supply of poo wasn't going to make us millionaires anytime soon this gave us two options either we wait for some new colonists to arrive or we go out there and kidnapped some families to accelerate our poo production we picked option two and sent white out with a bolt action rifle to a nearby mining camp white then proceeded to try and disable the [ __ ] out one of the targets by aiming at their legs what but it's okay as this guy had only had his toe blown off so we patched him up and are you [ __ ] you actually [ __ ] kidding me right now with only three quarters of a hostage we returned home and was greeted with a quest to host a man in my mind that's 24 days of extra feces and two Advanced components for us so we accepted the quest and began our next task of enslaving the prisoner so after some Swift negotiations we Enslaved the man and renamed him to one leg because he has one leg shortly after this four men with sniper rifles arrived to try and condemn my new business to counter this I used the highly Advanced tactic of hiding around the corner and shooting him as they walk past given me two additional prisoners in which I could extract from however they didn't seem too enthusiastic about spending their last remaining days impr prisoned and decided to start a rebellion which resulted in Hawk stabbing both of them to death which was actually a godsend for us because many of you may know that despite my nearly 3,000 hours in this game I still suck at it as the cony may have run out of food and unfortunately for us we weren't cannibals so we couldn't just consume the dead and be done with it instead we played a fun little game involving a mega sloth and a rifle just run jet run it'll bleed out eventually and sold off our first batches of chem shine in exchange for food while we were doing that I set up some Hydroponics which managed to provide us enough rice to survive the rest of the winter with the loss of our prisoners and Hawk returning home our chem shine production had all but halted the only chem fuel we did produce was being shoved into our chem fuel generators that were currently caring the base but I had a brilliant idea during the winter I had given Mike a single task to research micro Electronics which would give us access to a trading console from there you can check the price of goods secure loans but most importantly put out contracts for certain Goods I envisioned that buying our poo would be a much more humane way of conducting our business rather than kidnapping people and forcing them into dark runes with L trines however it appeared that purchasing human waste was not deemed as so Al acceptable so I guess it was back to the old ways but not before I built some goddamn defenses this may have resulted in me building a suspicious looking structure that may or may not resemble a killbox which a muffalo immediately took offense against you son of a [ __ ] now if I was going to send someone out to kidnap people I was going to need a warrior who was capable of surviving the Wilderness by themselves currently my only real capable fighter was white but her Presence at the Conley was becoming increasingly required and it was if Randy had heard my prayers as a transport pod landed and mommy had arrived she was a 79-year-old woman in a war casket with a massive [ __ ] sword and was a perfect candidate for our kidnapping department so I sent white out to negotiate her terms of employment and set up the nicest godamn prison I think I've ever made in my life because if she rebelled I think we may have had a problem during her imprisonment I sent each one of my colonists in one by one to S and beg her to join my colony oh and some Caravan animals wandered in which may have resulted in some elk developing a crippling alcohol addiction oh my God look at them all they just swarming the Vodka he clean that [ __ ] out in two seconds [ __ ] hell but hey a free batch of luciferium thankfully after many days of our campaign of Relentless compliments she joined the colony we began by inducting her into our ideology by having her mercifully beat a slave to the brink of death I then decided to turn her her into the Ultimate Warrior by giving her some of the luciferium that we acquired earlier which in exchange for boosting her stats basically meant uh if she ran out she'll go crazy and then die I then sent her up north to beat up some mechanoids and then gave her a final test of beating up a few Alpha beavers for good measure before sending her out to kidnap some people for us I thought this would be a good opportunity to remove the bugs that had been surrounding our base since we arrived I had jet make up a heavy flamer and construct a large collection of wooden stools inside this cave then I used a flamethrower to ignite the wooden furniture causing the caves to reach temperatures where the disgusting insectoid flesh began to melt once they were all incapacitated from heat stroke we sent our warrior in to finish the job and just as we were cutting the throat of the last one H this time though I couldn't just burn some wooden furniture and be done with it I had to get a little more intimate by having jet in inject a [ __ ] ton of go juice and a quick mouthful of pollution we sent him in to ignite the queen and a hive which proved to be incredibly successful with her Hive destroyed and the queen covered in Burn wounds it was only a matter of time before the [ __ ] developed some infections and died with the insect Menace now dealt with we were now able to extract some of the valuable resources within the caves while our kidnapper was sent out to uh kidnpped people and before long our base had grown to accommodate a small collection of prisoners whose one go in life was to fill up this latrine but it seemed like they didn't appreciate my Hospitality as they began an endless spiral of attempting to break out of jail resulting in them repeatedly getting beaten to death by our warden so it was time for something I called operation tough [ __ ] where I took the war crimes expanded mod and began conducting a variety of unethical surgeries so I started by taking a page out my good friend Reggie's BG by taking a log and bashing them over the head until they had reached the golden zone of brain Dam damage however I don't think Mike got the memo Jesus I said give her brain damage don't blow her [ __ ] head off Christ in the end I just settled on sewing the prisoner's eyes shut perfect there we go try and rebel now you little [ __ ] however this mindless torturing of prisoners proved too much for one of our slaves we went into a sadistic rage and began punching the now blind prisoners to death unfortunately it seemed that violence didn't seem to solve our problem as our prisoners who are now blind continue to try and fight back oh come on so it was now time for another operation titled operation satisfying poo which was based on the success of recruiting mummy I started by placing down some recreational activities like a horseshoe post and a chess board but in hindsight that wasn't such a great idea considering the prisoners were blind I then upgraded their tiny prison cells into luxurious bedrooms and surprisingly this actually worked and Rebellion seemed to have died down with our press now producing us a steady supplyer product I think it was time to expand our chem shine production i' also replace all our chem fuel generators with toxified generators which I just shoved inside this church right next to my Hydroponics with our increased production of chem shine came some serious Financial gains which I spent on buying a mountain of components which allowed me to build a bang bus to raise Morel I rooted some elk and then some Raiders that I managed to bait into my environmentally friendly killbox which turned out to be incredibly flammable and so did they now at this point I was making a lot of chem shine which converted into a lot of cash but my decision to continuously flood the market had resulted in the price of chem shine dropping by 66% but that's okay because most of the money ID made at this point was funneled into resources to make me weapons the only thing I was lacking at this point was armor so I researched recon armor built a fabrication bench and looked at the resources that were required to make yeah [ __ ] that so instead of making all my soldiers into walking tanks I um I just built a proper tank and decided to name it the Poo Cannon I then loaded it up with some of our home brewed chem Fuel and then decided to give the cannon a test fire yeah it was um it was a little underwhelming I won't lie during the rest of the winter we had another infestation rise up which we dealt with accordingly oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah this is good this is real good and then feasted on their deep fried flesh we also cracked open the ancient danger and had our Warrior clean it out which thankfully had some more luciferian men it also gave us a whole set of powerful armor which I could use for the upcoming Crusade against the non-believers which at this point I think it was time with our group of well equipped colonists a tank and the Pooh Cannon I believed it was time to expand our territory and subject re our neighbors to my reign of terror I ended up leaving one leg behind to oversee the base as he had been a loyal slave to this point so I I had no fears of him running off with that I loaded everyone up into our vehicles and yeah okay maybe I uh maybe I should clean that up first before we left my first Target was the tribal Village which I thought was going to be a piece of cake after all it was just a band of naked men with Spears we had assault rifles and tanks or so I thought oh this is a good start the [ __ ] vehicle ain't working um why is the tank not moving as I was trying to repair the tank the tribals launched a surprise attack panicking I scrambled to get my people into battle formation and in the chaos I accidentally placed this guy behind our front line get him who uh proceeded to shoot one of our boys in the back of the head the remainder of the battle was a blur of machine gun fire and then roasting them alive with flamethrowers and after a short while the tribals had realized their mistake and try to flee but uh let's just say it was a little bit too late for them after the battle I then sent jet in to burn down the village which looked pretty cool in a horribly morbid way with the tribals defeated it was time to move on to our next Target The Outlanders thankfully the tank actually worked this time which was fantastic as The Outlanders had began hurling mortar rounds at us the only problem for them they were firing smoke at us we then rolled the tank up and began blasting their turrets before moving jet in with the flamethrower and began roasting them and then like last time this battle quickly derailed into Anarchy with fire and poisonous gas littering the battlefield and my colonist running out of ammo but thankfully our Warrior was an absolute unit and managed to cut down a majority of The Outlanders and win the battle for us with our only casualty being steroid who uh just got shot with The Outlanders defeated it just left one target the Empire the empire were going to be a tough fight the soldiers were well equipped and they also had some melee units that could rival our Warrior oh and they also had a mortar which actually had high explosive shells in but I had a brilliant idea I loaded up a bunch of pollution chem Fuel and one leg who I had dosed up with as much chem shine as possible and launched him towards the mortar [ __ ] so I drove the tank head first into the base and began blowing up their turrets the tank was immediately swarmed by their Mell units and I had to make a difficult decision either try and save the tank or have jet engulf the thing in fire at this point it'll probably be a good time to tell you that white was inside the tank and jet and white had got married before heading out for this attack anyway I chose the latter and set the tank of Blaze alongside the surrounding Warriors and within a few moments White and the tank were lost and we had only taken out one of the Warriors but in better news one leg finally detonated with the tank destroyed a horde of soldiers began to advance towards jet but jet managed to convince them that running head first into a flamethrower was a bad idea and the fight continued until finally they broke and we had finally done it we had killed enough of them that they began to flee well um except from this guy but that's okay I guess I I'll just burn him with the rest of his base oh my God he's got okay then [Music]

Channel: Rarr

Views: 63,202

Keywords: Rimworld, Rimworld rarr, Rimworld game, Rimworld poo, Rimworld dubs, Rimworld rar, rarr, rar, Rimworld warcrimes, Rimworld Poocrimes, rimworld funny, rimworld gameplay, rimworld video

Id: V9HcNPZajTI

Length: 18min 38sec (1118 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 29 2023