Friend Demands I Transfer My Son's School Spot To Her Kid Bc I'm Living Too Privileged Life Anyways

my son and a friend's son both entered a lottery for a local charter high school special in stem my son was granted entry the friend was not it's unfortunate but also out of my control it came up in conversation that my son had gained entry when i was visiting this friend she asked that i transfer my sunspot to her son because she had become aware that i live in a good public school district i explained that my son is extremely passionate about the areas the school specializes in so he would be attending never mind that what she was proposing probably isn't even allowed she tried to assert that because her son would not have access to as good a school my son should free up the spot for someone needier her son was in the room as this was being discussed i didn't feel i could speak freely in the presence of a child involved so i suggested we continue talking in another room or at another time she said this concerned her son so he should be apart and kept instigating him with questions like tell her how excited you would have been to go to the charter school don't you think you deserve this spot he seemed uncomfortable at first but obviously did feel strongly and passionately that he deserved to go so warmed up to participating in the conversation finally i wanted to end the back and forth and just told her my son is just as deserving as your son it was a random lottery he's your responsibility not mine and this isn't the only option for his education you have you knew admission wasn't a sure thing and it was wrong to pin his hopes on it and left looking back i feel bad because i worry i should have removed myself rather than engage in front of her son two wrongs don't make a right and just because she wasn't being the best adult doesn't give me an excuse to do what i did but i do believe the things i said and i'm not the one who put her son in the situation so i'm really broken up am i the idiot not the idiot you got put into an impossible situation and dealt with it as diplomatically as you could given the ridiculous entitlement she was showing to ask you to forgo your child's education she probably won't be a friend anymore though not to mention would it even be in your power to give your son spot to a specific person that's not how lotteries work her son would still have essentially the same chance of getting chosen as he was in the first place she's an idiot for thinking her kid needs this to succeed what the heck is she gonna do when he can't get into harvard or oxford this is more about her than the kid that kid lost out on the parent lottery too that's exactly what i was thinking op you may think it was wrong to say that in front of her son but i think it was more than called for at that moment your friend was teaching her son how to manipulate someone to get what you want you taught the child that you do not speak like that to people and that method doesn't work you provided a glimpse to a child that may have had bad examples set all the time into what it means to stand up to a bully and manipulator your friend may even treat him like that and you showed him a way to stand up for himself definitely not the idiot and congrats to your son not the idiot in fact what you said last to her really made me clap i get that she's wanting her kid to be in a good school but when you involve your kid in this kind of conversation you're feeding into a hope that somehow they are more deserving of that position it was a lottery it was just by chance that your son won but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve it and frankly your friend is not being a good mom if he were to start believing her who knows what else he'd feel entitled to then he'd get to play the victim again i 23 female graduated with my bachelor's last year and am now working on my masters i'm the only child out of six to graduate college and get higher education my college posts academic schedules in advance so i knew four years in advance the exact date i would be graduating throughout these years i was reminding everyone when it was because it landed on my brother's 27th birthday over winter break before the global issue my brother and his long-time on-off girlfriend announced they had eloped my mom was ecstatic and started asking if they would have a ceremony my new sister-in-law said they were already planning on their shared birthday i interjected at this point that i was graduating that day and there was no way i could make it and my parents since they would be there but if they moved it to next year or any other time we could do it before they could say anything my mom said she'd be going to their wedding not my graduation i asked her if she was really going to skip something i've worked so hard for that i feel is a huge accomplishment i could see skipping if they were going to get married but they'd already eloped and it would just be the ceremony the next few months were very tense and icy until the global issue shut everything down anyway i told my parents that there was a good chance they'd hold commencement next year around the same time but almost guaranteed not to be on my brother's birthday so keep the week cleared for the most part last week my college announced they would hold commencement for the 2020 class the day before his birthday i was excited and thought everything had worked out but when i told my mom she said they would be gone the whole week with my brother and sister-in-law for a small destination ceremony across the country she said she hadn't told me earlier because it was my finals week and i'd be busy anyway i'll admit that i couldn't contain myself and started crying that my mom would skip my graduation twice she claims it's not a big deal since i'll be graduating next year with my masters and she can see that one this has my family split and i can't tell if i'm the idiot it is his presumably only wedding ceremony that date does hold significance to them but my graduation was years of hard work and dedication not the idiot graduation cannot be rescheduled a wedding can and i find that having a wedding on your shared birthday is just plain lazy fewer presents less work etc especially when someone else has an event falling on that day your mother clearly favors your brother over you and sees getting married to someone else as a bigger accomplishment you wanna know why because she's gonna get grandbabies and they're probably gonna have the same last name as her if she treated you equally she'd be begging your sibling to change the date and she wouldn't be brushing off this accomplishment as if you were getting a participation trophy the worst part is opie's graduation is the day before it's not even on the same day the parents are flying out for the whole week to celebrate a wedding which already took place it's insane opie you are doing an amazing job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise 25 years down the line when you are wildly successful and your parents come to you for help you can turn them towards your brother and sister-in-law not the idiot you can't make other people care about the things you care about if this was a wedding to wedding clash and yours was scheduled first you would have something but that's not what happened here you are the first in your family to graduate tertiary education celebrate with friends and colleagues who are willing to celebrate with you realize you are leaving your family behind and becoming something more than they can appreciate or imagine your mother prioritized marriages and later babies over education and career success because family success and continuation are what she understands and relates to she's been to weddings before and knows what to do at them has she ever been to a graduation before your family has limitations keep growing anyway i don't think this is about making other people care about the things that you care about mom was told that this was important to opie and was told plenty ahead of time that should have been enough for mom to be there for op because part of being a family and loving someone is being there for them when they go through important things mom is an idiot for disregarding the ops event for something that came up afterward that she was more interested in and while we're at it the brother is an idiot too for essentially planning a vacation leaving out the sister after he's already married not the idiot i female28 have a rough situation i didn't get into college and my parents weren't supportive i started working several retail jobs and obviously wasn't able to save money because of my constant needs like medical needs groceries self-care etc we lost our apartment and moved in with my husband's family they have a four bedroom home they had rules no internet no dogs were allowed i miss my boys no showering unless once a week every morning i wake up to the sound of my brother-in-law's kids yelling trying to find their socks books or my sister-in-law arguing and begging her fiance to not leave after they've had another argument father-in-law yelling at the neighbor for who knows what brother-in-law yelling at the kids or mother-in-law telling me to get ready to work around the house before leaving for work they've taken over the couch i brought with me the family would start welcoming me saying hey come join us on the couch then when i did no one wanted to give me space to sit i end up sitting on the arm of the couch every time later my sister-in-law's fiance sleeps on it after their nightly arguments every time i talk to my husband about getting our own place to rent he'd first ask why can't you get along with the others silly goes on about how a family is needed in these times to keep us cheered up and supported then said he'd save up half and i save up half for rent but at the end of each month he'd tell me he spent the money on groceries or other things since that's what he gives to his family in return it's hopeless because even if we were able to save up to pay rent for one month i'm sure my husband won't be able to save money for next month's rent and we'd be humiliated and kicked out two weeks ago i got back from work to find that my husband used his share of the money he saved to pay for a rented apartment on a gaming chair we had an argument huge one i packed my stuff and left with my couch i found a place to rent with a female roommate i've been there for two weeks he texted me at night saying the chair was brother-in-law's idea and he returned it eventually however he and his family didn't appreciate me leaving like that he argued that i was making it look like his family is bad folks and the couch shouldn't have been taken as well he wanted me to come back so we could rent a place together next month he meant june i refused since i already paid he's not accepting it calling me mean and selfish for what i did not the idiot one shower a week that right there stopped me in my tracks they are controlling your basic needs get a divorce and move on you deserve someone with who you share the same financial goals that person doesn't appear to be your husband seriously mother-in-law said because of how many family members want to shower however brother-in-law's wife showers almost daily when i asked her she said she paid my mother-in-law to let her use the shower almost daily and take her time we're talking hours here it's crazy how is it okay to pay to shower not just that i'm not allowed to cook sister-in-law probably pays mother-in-law to enter the kitchen since she only cooks for brother-in-law and the kids mother-in-law is the least insane person in that house others are a lot worse not the idiot but since you already have a place lock down your credit your husband is irresponsible and i wouldn't put it past him to screw you over i hope you've already forwarded your mail also if you have a joint account with only money you saved since he can't save move your money to an account only you have access to and close the joint one also go to a completely different bank that you and your husband have never banked at together some banks will automatically add your husband if you open a new account husband never ever planned on moving out and was happy to keep op trapped in that situation all of the household dynamics aren't explained here but somehow i doubt this has been as terrible of an experience for him not the idiot i don't understand how his family could take over a couch when i assume it's in the living room and that's where everyone gathers but wow your husband is selfish and the worst that's as nice as i can be and trying to get you to come back to move out in june when he's not really trying to save money that deadline will continue getting pushed back now that you're in a space away from him do you think you would want to continue being married to him you and your couch are free go live your best life get a divorce and never look back not the idiot i can't stop thinking about how they would only let you shower once a week i'm so glad you got out of there op don't forget to clean the heck out of that couch i 19 male live with my parents and three brothers 25 22 and nearly adult and yeah i pay rent pay my half of the utilities and buy my own stuff my parents were pretty big that if we wanted to keep living there we have to pay for everything ourselves and help out with bills with global issue last year and being stuck at home i started getting into cooking more and learning how to make new dishes i bought some cookbooks for beginners and watch youtube videos it became a hobby for me to cook new stuff also baking sometimes my family just orders take out so no one really cooks my dad started making fun of me being the lady of the house because even my mom doesn't cook then my brothers began to tease sometimes too i don't know why it was such a big deal they got me a pink apron as a joke gift once i work full time so sometimes i don't have the energy to make a whole dinner when i get home from work i started cooking weekends and making sure i got enough leftovers for the week guess who started eating whatever leftovers i left in the fridge my dad sometimes my brothers but mainly my dad because i get home and he'd be there eating it didn't bother me initially but what did is that he still made jokes about me being a yet still eating the food his son makes i've told him he's a hypocrite for doing this but doesn't see it as anything because it's food for the family according to him last week i made lemon garlic butter chicken thighs with green beans and craved it like crazy at work when i got home it was gone so that really got to me and on the weekend i bought myself a mini fridge with a lock to put in my room and that's where i'm putting whatever dinner i make now my dad is getting all annoyed for overreacting to his jokes and being stingy with my food i already told them i don't like the jokes they make and that they still think it's fine to eat my food like i'm fine with making some for them but not if they keep calling me stuff for it that's why i'd rather just keep it from them they're still telling me i'm being too dramatic and my mom agrees since they're only playing around with me so now i don't know was it too much that i'm locking my food away in my room and not wanting them to have any not the idiot your dad is a classic bully he purposely makes you angry then tries to make it seem like you're wrong for being angry once you told him you don't like his jokes he should have stopped making them at your expense not the idiot your dad is a misogynistic bully it's crappy he's treating you like this and awful that he treats being female or items related to femaleness as an insult i don't get what you gain from living at home doesn't sound like you're saving money i'd look into moving not the idiot your dad is angry because he's being called out on his horrible behavior and no longer able to take advantage of you that's not your problem further jokes are only funny if the person making them and the person hearing them believe them to be funny what your family is doing is bullying nothing funny about that might i suggest asking him to pay his share of the groceries since you're paying for rent and utilities not the idiot your dad is right though cooking is stuff i often wonder how gordon ramsay with his successful chain of worldwide restaurants several tv shows net worth in the millions can sleep in his big expensive house at night knowing he's doing work i took over the family business from my mom seven years ago it came as a nasty surprise to find out it came with more than fifteen thousand dollars of debt i was now responsible for this pretty much sums up how the financial aspect has gone it's run out of her home and i rent the ground floor the stress of paying her bills while my employees and i barely make minimum wage finally came to the breaking point two weeks ago when i found out that she flat out lied to me about the mortgage she took out last year the house was on a land contract so she had to mortgage it to get a loan for a new garage she upped my rent saying the mortgage covered the land contract garage and are joining lochiones and escrow i argued that i don't use the lot or garage and i'd never paid the property taxes but it didn't help two weeks ago i found out that the mortgage actually covers the land contract garage my mom's car motorcycle and four credit cards she rolled 32 000 of her debt into this mortgage that she's making me pay 60 off the land contract i initially agreed to pay is 40 to the mortgage that was the final straw and i notified the customers that we're closing in june she doesn't know i found out about the mortgage i've had clients and people in my personal life asking what happened to make me close so abruptly i've been telling half truths as i'm not comfortable putting this drama out there i've told a handful of trusted friends and family nobody had been surprised and they're all supporting me in this would i be the idea if i threw caution to the wind and started telling the truth not the full run down with figures but a simple my mom has been taking advantage of the business financially and i'm not putting up with it anymore am i just being petty i'm too close to the situation to see it clearly not the idiot she's been stealing from you she dropped an indebted business on you and as soon as you started to make it pay she dropped more debt on you she is exploiting you you've already been too kind mom decided to scam her own child into paying for her car and motorcycle and credit cards she consciously chose to lie and embezzle and now wants you to look like the fool to cover for her you've got no obligations to that in your situation i would be furious until anyone who asked not the idiot while you would not be the idiot for explaining it fully it may be wiser to be a bit vague the company's financial structure particularly some legacy liabilities and debts made it unsustainable in the long term and keep hold of that client list maybe you could make a similar but better structured business actually work but that would really annoy your mum so tread carefully [Music] you

Channel: XO

Views: 100,397

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Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, choosing beggers, reddit beggers, reddit entitled people, reddit entitled friend, reddit toxic friend, reddit friend demands, reddit entitled family

Id: sNruGi-t9Ak

Length: 18min 35sec (1115 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 28 2021