EX Demands I Let Him Off The Hook For Child Support Bc It's His Time To Start New Life w/o Our Kids

my ex-husband had a four-year-long affair i only came to learn about his affair because he got the other woman pregnant we are now divorced they are married and they have a toddler together ex and i share two children until last year i had primary custody because he and his wife and their child moved four hours away which the courts considered too far to maintain a 50 50 timeshare the business x worked for collapsed due to global situation and ex was out of work for several weeks he asked me to take him off the hook for child support during that time which meant no back pay for the weeks and because i said no he brought me back to court all the court did was readjust the amount he owed me because of their lost income x's wife has since got a job and he says they are still struggling because neither makes good money he asks me again to let him off the hook he said their daughter is suffering because between keeping the roof over their head and paying child support there isn't much left to provide for her i told him that's not my problem my concern will always be our children he claims if i can afford to provide for them without him for a while it's the right thing to do because his other daughter is their half-sister and as such it's my role to make sure she's cared for too or at least it should be if i'm a good mother and a caring person i told him the discussion was over and i want child support for my children am i the idiot not the idiot his new life or lack thereof is not your problem he had an affair he had more children as a parent it's his job to provide for all his children if he's struggling he needs to figure it out but it's not your job to make sure his other child has what she needs to the fact that he brought that up was ridiculous his sentiment that his ex-wife has to care for her children's half-sibling is ridiculous especially when you consider the fact that she was a result of a four-year affair if he couldn't afford it he shouldn't have done it i love that his justification is i can't pay for the kids i have with you i want to prioritize my new child and he expected her to go oh okay sure oh no to this this is some guilt-tripping garbage coming from your ex you have no duty to ensure that the daughter he had with his mistress turned new wife is cared for no duty only concern yourself with your own children with him his job is to financially care for all his kids if he can't do that then that is all on him curious because while you have a right to them blah blah blah if you can afford a couple of months without then yes you are the idiot for sure this year with a global issue has been a tough time for everyone no matter what beef you have with him displaying a bit of compassion can go a long way so she should help support the outcome of her ex-husband's affair by taking resources from her children who are also his children because he doesn't want a second job that's laughable he abandoned his family if they're struggling that much they can apply for government assistance not the idiot he's basically saying he's entirely checked out on the two kids he had with you our two incomes are barely enough for our one child as long as i'm sending some of it to you so please raise our two children on your one income like really the absolute audacity of that it's a shame for his daughter with his new wife but unfortunately he's gonna have to figure something out because you owe that child nothing you have to take care of your own because obviously he's not going to my 29 female brother 26 and sister-in-law 26 are living in my guest house at the moment because they are having triplets and are moving to the small town i live in they have only been staying here a little while another thing to mention is that my husband and i really want to have a big family i'm a nanny to a family with four kids and i love it so much well anyway i like really unique names for example jacob kova and lehrer i have a baby names list on my phone i've mentioned names i like from time to time or that i have a list but it's never been a big deal or something i thought my sister-in-law would remember they don't know the genders of their triplets yet but they are thinking about names she told me she likes the names i've mentioned and asked to see my baby names list my baby names list isn't very long i have three boys names and six girls names so if she chose three off my list i wouldn't have more to choose from my husband and i are also thinking of starting the adoption process i'm infertile in maybe a year or less so it's not like i have all the time in the world to come up with other names i said no to my sister-in-law because if she chose any names off my list i wouldn't be able to use them it's not like she's eight months pregnant and rushing to come up with a name yet either she has a long time until she's due she is being so rude to my husband and me for example she was sitting on the couch in our living room and her new puppy was ripping up a couch cushion and she just sat there and didn't do anything about it i know i'm probably the idiot but i only have 10 names i like she has a ton of names she likes also i'm letting her live on my property rent free and feel like i don't owe her anything else it would also be different if it was a co-worker or a distant friend because i have no obligation to not name my child the same as them it would also be different if it was just one baby but it's three anyways am i the idiot not the idiot if you let her see that list she's absolutely going to use three names from it 100 guaranteed let's play a game so we can test this go to a baby name site and choose a list of new names put those in your phone tell her you had a change of heart and show her the fake names then wait until the babies are born and she announces the names they will be from your fake list i feel it in my soul i'm telling you it's a win-win you get her off your back and she can prove her true intentions don't make the names crazy weird just make them unique names so you know she stole them and didn't have them in mind before all this make them names that you don't care for when it comes to naming your own future children not the idiot at all she sounds highly toxic the fact that she's sweet but the second things don't go her way she becomes rude and allows your items to be destroyed is extremely alarming a huge red flag i would very much reconsider even letting her live there because if she acts this way over small things how will she act when bigger issues arise not the idiot when i was pregnant i worked with a lady who was pregnant at the same time she always wanted to know the names i'd picked she was a petty thing and i knew she was trying to steal my name i gave her fake names she had her kid first and called me when i had mine and asked the name she was shocked she thought she stole my name and i showed her not the idiot for guarding the names you've chosen as a parent who gave a child a unique name i have to caution you against it in hindsight it was the worst decision ever the kid will not like it growing up nobody will be able to pronounce or spell it correctly adding to the problem it just isn't as cute as you think it will be i tell you this from experience and i hope you reconsider my female son 30 and daughter-in-law 29 were together about sevenish years married around five she has two kids from previous relationships and my toddler grandson anyway they started not getting along i really don't know what happened according to her he cheated and yelled too much and according to him she left him home with the kids on weekends and disappeared who knows so she decided to tell my son to leave rather than cause more screaming drama in front of the kids he came to my house well the thing is i own that house i inherited it from my grandmother i charge my son nominal rent but no lease no agreement to buy no decisions to be made until his student loans get paid off so his plan which i agree with is to give her two months after the divorce's final then she has to move out no rent during this time divorce will take at least six months so i think she's making out quite well when she found out she flipped and called my whole family calling me a sorry excuse for a woman for kicking a mum out etc my daughter thinks i'm the idiot because i should be on my daughter-in-law's side after all women should stick together i guess she didn't clarify and i'm letting her cool down before i call my other family is slipping between saying i should let her stay longer with my sister and her family think i'm nutty for not charging her rent other stuff i guess i should probably add she is a stay-at-home mom her other kids dads are around willing to take their respective kids if worse comes to worst my son needs the house back as he can't stay here forever she can qualify for public housing she and my son are fighting for custody he wants at least 50 50. so am i the idiot not the idiot six months of warning is generous considering most dates would only require one or two months notice plus she gets to live there rent free allowing her to save money for the move you might want to have a quick chat with a lawyer though just so you know the proper steps to legally evict her she sounds entitled unlike she won't leave unless you force her hand i definitely think women should stick together in most cases giving her six months is women sticking together in my opinion i doubt most people would be this generous if this was a reverse gender situation six months rent free is fantastic not the idiot she's gone and lost her cheetos thinking she could live forever rent free in her x's family's home is she paying utilities with her child support you are giving her more than enough ample time to get her act together and move out your son should go back and maybe just live in a separate room if you need him out of your current home because that other house is yours and with no official lease she can't kick him out but make sure you go through the proper channels to evict her that way it's all in writing and legal when she will need to leave for everyone who is calling you an idiot for making her go or not supporting her is more than welcome to open their doors and help her she is not entitled to your help or home you are the idiot here let me put this in layman's terms your son cheated and now you're helping him punish his wife for not putting up with his nonsense by ensuring that she has no home minimal finances as a stay-at-home mom and thus very slim chances of gaining 50 50 custody if any can you figure out the whole story what are you going to do if it turns out your son was the one cheating i proceed somewhat cautiously until you know more about what's going on especially if she was leaving the kids with him on weekends because he was out on the town all week and not helping at home i agree that this is a tread likely situation it sounds like as described she was angry he cheated and had anger issues which oh boy could mean a lot of things and he was angry he had to parent opie's son might be a massive idiot who was doing some really concerning stuff it's not really op's job to house the daughter-in-law but they should probably try to get the whole story and make sure that this woman is okay i 28 female i'm currently six months pregnant and i'm engaged to a wonderful man due to the craziness only a few people know about our news because we aren't the announcing type also it was a quick engagement because of the pregnancy but we love each other and we didn't want to showcase all that i also have a child with my ex who i was married to for nine years but he ended up cheating on me with anna his friend and co-worker he had his wedding with anna this weekend i was invited because of a complicated custody arrangement that i don't want to get into and because his mom wanted the mother of her grandchild at the wedding too since i'm technically still family proxy my son the thing is no one from that side knew i'm pregnant i didn't tell my ex because of personal reasons also my fiance is quite an influential man where i'm from and is well known my ex knows i'm dating someone since i was allowed a plus one for the wedding but he doesn't know who this plays into the wedding i didn't really think of it much as they kept it a small event i really didn't want to go but did for the sake of my son since i can't let him go alone we all showed up and naturally people gravitated towards my fiance asking him what he was doing here and then learning about the pregnancy and engagement they were fascinated it was all quite annoying and i played the pregnant lady card quite a few times to get some peace at an event that i didn't even want to be at they got married and it was over we went home no fuss the next day my ex calls me never does this lol and starts ranting to me about how i ruined the wedding for his wife and him first i bring in a man that's clearly trying to one-up him and my ex argued that my son likes my fiancee better as my son didn't leave outside for a second during the wedding and my ex was angered that we played happy family in front of him when he was the one getting married second my fiancee is my date and the guy i'm marrying and i'm engaged to and everyone got to know about it on their day taking away all the excitement from the wedding i said that i was sorry and agreed that it probably did distract from the wedding however i didn't know what i should have done it's not like i could make everything disappear for the night i'm not comfortable with announcements on social media i wouldn't have done it for my ex my ex brought my son into this and asked him to tell me to apologize to his wife for making their whole wedding about me my son disagrees and said that i did nothing wrong but he's young so was i the idiot not the idiot if you did not purposely try to upstage them if you were honest in what you wrote i'm guessing your ex and his new wife allowed you to attend the wedding because they wanted to rub their happiness in your face but the tables turned when you showed up with an even better guy and a bun in the oven your ex was just upset he lost and since he was the one who cheated i'd say he got his comeuppance hopi just apologize be like i'm so sorry i will do better for your next wedding not the idiot he most likely wanted you to be the miserable ex at his wedding to his new wife and you didn't play the part because you're not you did a fantastic job of being there for your son so he could see his dad get married you didn't fight that and you did great also record what negative things your ex tries to say to your kid for legal reasons in case you ever need it stay safe everyone's the idiot here i get it people getting all up in your business is incredibly annoying but it is going to happen pregnancies and engagements have that effect it is common courtesy to avoid taking attention away from the bride and groom at a wedding it would have been even more noticeable if the wedding was smaller also i'm not a fan of your ex mother-in-law insisting on you being there i think i would have felt exactly the same as you about going and having people being nosy but given the reality of the situation you could have given your ex a heads up so he could have been prepared instead of blindsided at his wedding your ex sounds insecure about your new man and this is his problem not your problem your new happiness doesn't involve him and it's making him insecure you didn't do anything wrong in my opinion you told him about your plus one there's no reason why you had to say who that is there's really no reason for you to update your ex about your pregnancy either not the idiot i think it's disgusting that he's using your son as a pawn to get back at you it's pretty simple i think gender reveals a dumb and a greedy attempt to get another gift my cousin is getting married and having a baby this year i'm getting her gifts for the engagement party which i also think is a dumb event to grab gifts but i help my tongue bridal shower baby shower and wedding not only do i think gender reveals are unnecessary and weird i didn't want to get the fifth gift in three months so when i got the invite to the gender reveal irsvpeed no now my mom says i'm an idiot and i need to at least send a gift am i an idiot should i just send the stupid gift my cousin is really poor and young and i am older and doing okay if that factors into it obviously i love my cousin even though she lives eight hours away we make time to visit one another three or four times a year i am happy for her i was mainly annoyed with my mom for guilting me about this but if she wants to have 900 events in the middle of a pandemic whatever man her engagement shower wedding baby shower and gender reveal parties are all within three months not the idiot not only is it just messed up to be having so many parties for yourself in such a short time span but it's also a big ask of people to attend that many celebrations we all know that the cost of wedding presents is absurd and baby stuff isn't cheap either if you don't want to go then don't you're attending enough things already not the idiot ugh i hate gender reveals they're so stupid and this is a lot of events in the short amount of time in the middle of a pandemic nonetheless so much money plus outfits for these events plus food drink transportation etc man i feel for you i'd say definitely not send a gift but you could send a card to ease the tension with your mom you are the idiot you don't have to get a big gift but twenty dollars in a card goes far and shows you care you talk about it in a very negative way and call her greedy and say it's dumb it might be dumb to you but it's important to her you said she's poor that makes it even worse that you called her greedy for wanting to have things for her kid not the idiot gender reveal parties shouldn't have gifts they should only be about serving the guests cake i thought it was bizarre that opie was expected to bring a gift like all the gender reveal parties i've heard about were just an excuse to eat food with friends and family eat cake talk and of course learn the gender of the baby just another little celebration simple and nice people expecting presents at the gender reveal party feels like it would only be acceptable if the parents to be weren't doing a baby shower like how many gifts could someone want [Music] you

Channel: XO

Views: 91,100

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Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit child support, reddit ex sued me, reddit custody, reddit parental alienation, reddit aita custody

Id: CaAyAE_MfSw

Length: 18min 49sec (1129 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 25 2021