I Lost My Dream Girl Because I Was Too Nice

[Music] hi i'm coach cory wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be i lost my dream girl because i was being too nice i've got an email here from a guy who believe it or not in the last two years he's been following my work he read my book my first book how to be a three percent man twice but he says he's watched lots and lots and lots of videos and so obviously he writes me because he did the opposite of what the book teaches and i think it's a great email because he goes through any details exactly what he did and i mean it's so predictable that he turned this girl off and now he's obviously in a lot of pain because she broke it off with him and it's funny even towards the end of the the email she gives him an explanation as to why it kind of makes sense but really doesn't because he's not accepting the fact of his behavior is what's actually turned her off so this is a good email to learn what not to do if you want to attract women into your life so i got a quote that i wrote and we're going to go through his email the quote says when a man tries too hard to win a woman's attention and validation he is continually communicating that he doesn't think that he is worthy this is the opposite of masculinity being brave courageous direct and decisive women are attracted to men who are confident they are turned off by men who consciously and unconsciously communicate a lack of confidence in themselves and what they bring to the table if you believe and act like you were unworthy of a woman's love eventually she will agree and reject you it's too bad i hate seeing these emails but it's like people don't listen they don't take me serious it's they kind of half-ass things in life but it's not just in their personal life it shows up in their career how they take care of their body it's like the average person is just mediocre and lazy and now this guy is in pain and a lot of pain now this is when he's really kind of open to go okay maybe i really should have listened to what you said maybe i should have read the book 10 to 15 times don't be like this guy that's the whole point of going through these emails so you can learn from it and you can see if you're familiar with the book you can kind of see the slow train wreck the slow car crash in motion as it happens in real time so he says hi coach i've been following your work for almost two years now i've read the book four times okay so it wasn't two times it was four times yes it wasn't enough and i've been listening to your youtube videos almost every day for the past two years well how many times have you heard me saying videos the videos are not a substitution for learning the fundamentals in the book serious students are going to learn the fundamentals and people are lazy you want a half-assed and looking for shortcuts you're gonna get you might get some attainables to set success initially but it won't be sustainable and you'll see this guy get some sustainable success out of the shoot but it quickly goes south because this girl obviously was really into him at first that's why he was able to screw up so much and get away with it and at least initially he says i never thought i'd be the one desperately seeking your advice but love has driven me to do so well as confucius said success depends upon prior preparation without said preparation there is sure to be failure you didn't listen to confucius and you you're chinese confucius is like a ch he's like the man in china and you didn't even listen to confucius he says i'm a good-looking man in his mid-30s living in china i'm committing i'm coming to you because i just went through a breakup with the girl of my dreams i paid the ultimate price for not performing your teachings properly and for the first time in my life i want to get this ex back and i desperately need your advice well if that describes you that means the first thing you can do to help yourself because you got to participate in your own rescue is you got to read how to be a three percent man and when you get to the end of it read it again if you're listening to the audiobook listen to it again 10 to 15 times because when you go through it that much you get to know it backwards and forwards to the point where you don't have to think about it anymore because we er when we read something when we hear something when we watch something we're going to retain maybe 8 to 10 of it and the stuff that's in here is a mindset there's fundamentals there's techniques there's strategies there's a philosophy there's mindset and all that stuff works together and but you have to put the time in to learn it and obviously this guy didn't put the time in i met a girl who's a 10 out of 10 on a dating app the sort of girl i've been searching for years these staying you get two maybe three of these a decade bro sucks for you but he says i'm supposed to start my grad school in the states but i got to stay in my home country and take remote classes until the end of the year due to covid 19. i could do a whole video on that oh man so the seat just a little tidbit the cdc over the weekend just revised their coved stats and so now only about six percent of the people that died from covet actually that was all they had all the other 90 94 of people that died from covet had i think was 2.6 co-morbidities meaning they were old they had all kinds of other health problems and they didn't really die directly because of covid they died because it was just in addition to all the other problems that they had and so they revised these stats down and people are just it's all over twitter right now you're probably about a week or two you'll hear about on the mainstream media but it's pretty appalling i mean we basically nuked our economy over something that if you're healthy it's not going to affect you at all such a such a tragedy on her first date i told her honestly that i might leave for the states next year but told her that i was willing to do whatever it takes to make a relationship work if i met the right one for me hey that's that's a good comeback because it's truthful it's honest hey the right girl sure because when you say something like that it says you're putting qualifications it communicates that you're selective if i met the right girl yeah i'd settle down if i met the right girl i might get married if i met the right girl i might move in and have babies with her whatever happens to be whatever floats your boat i want you to be happy making decisions for your own life he says i wanted to assure her i was serious so it also puts her in the position where oh i'm going to try to win him over because if you're selective it means you can be selective it means you have other choices but you're not going to just settle for the first cute girl that comes along he says after hearing that she was skeptical about seeing me but it seems she wanted to see where this relationship led so we agreed to see each other a little too much focusing on the relationship you could tell i gotta lock this girl down she's my dream girl puts her on a pedestal a little bit extra nice extra compliant trying too hard because deep down he doesn't feel he's worthy he doesn't feel he's good enough and guys don't feel they're good enough they act needy they're always seeking approval does she still like me is she still into me i noticed that her texts are kind of trailing off the last few days and there's a lack of enthusiasm i gotta get her to be more enthusiastic let me spend more time let me try to engage her more in conversation and get her to converse more with me these are the things that a needy guy tells himself instead of oh cool she's kind of back backed off she must be busy doing other things you know what i spent the whole weekend with her and i'm not as excited about her seeing her as i was friday night even though we spent the whole weekend together is amazing but i got a lot of to do this week i got things i got to take care of and i'm glad to have that time that she's busy doing her thing and now i can get busy doing mine that's how a man who's got a together is going to react he's like all right i got some peace i got peace and quiet for a few days that's horrible but it's true she showed no sign of boredom and she responded every single time and she even took the conversation further i was ecstatic well obviously she had high interest in you to start with but at the same time i started to get worried that i was coming off as needy you're in a fearful state because you didn't know the fundamentals he says i considered holding off contacting her for a day but then she would contact me first so he's taking some kind of corrective action recognizing i'm doing too much too soon i'm trying too hard trying to get her to notice me trying to figure out she still likes me and obviously the problem with the this situation is that as his attraction grows he becomes more fearful and more uncertain and that causes him to apply more action more forceful action to be more smothering instead of just hey you got to give the other person the time and the space away from you to wonder about you to think about you but also to choose you mutually if she likes you she'll continue to make the effort and if she doesn't she'll just fade away you want a girl who's not going to fade away you want a girl who appreciates the space and who will make more of an effort to see if she can facilitate the two of you getting together hence she puts herself in your orbit through a phone call or a text or an email or a message on social media whatever it happens to be sometimes she would tell me she misses me and it would invite me over to her home we had sex a couple of times we met frequently about two to three times a week so this is good at this point but the problem is that you're not allowing her to completely come to you at her pace she reaches out more you just simply use those as opportunities to set more dates and then you spawn more time together and as you spend more time together it's really the result of her reaching out to you because women aren't typically going to call you up and say hey let's get together and do something will sometimes but they usually want the guy to be the leader you're the driver of the fun bus after a month of frequently seeing each other i noticed my feelings had grown for her exponentially and i started this is where it starts going sideways and i started to show more affection physically so now you're touching her when she's not really ready to be touched and that's where the book can really help you is all the little points of contact that in the things that a woman does when she's feeling attracted wants to be closer she bumps into you she stands extra close to you she touches your arm she leans in when you're across the table from one another she reaches over and touches your hand or takes your hand and when you these little things happen when you're on a date and you're spending time together then you just slowly pull her in and reciprocate slowly the idea is you go a little bit slower than she's going because as her sexual attraction and anticipation grows you're slowly reciprocating you're not in a rush guys who are not in a rush are guys who have lots of choices and who are selective they're like well i'm not i like you but i'm not too sure about you i want to see how things go over time they're patient because they know that patience pays haste makes waste however when i attempted to kiss her she said she was shy and that it was awkward well that actually is a true statement but he just doesn't understand what it means you're trying to kiss her and she's not ready to be kissed at this point you're trying to force yourself onto her and therefore it is awkward but she doesn't understand why it feels awkward the reason it feels awkward is because you're trying too much too soon you're trying to kiss her when she's simply not open to being kissed again this is why you read the book 10 to 15 times he says i didn't understand what she meant by that what'd i just say and i told her that she would feel more comfortable in time well you try to use a rationalization and logic there instead of recognizing you know what i'm coming on too strong i'm being smothering and being a little needy and i'm trying to force things and therefore she's backing off so i need to chillax it doesn't mean you chillax permanently it might just be an hour or two or a half hour sit talk see how she is get her to open up get her to talk more this is what's going to cause her to feel more attraction and move towards you and then you can kiss he says but after a month she called me to say she wanted to end this i'm shocked shocked i tell you she told me she realized she liked me because i was so nice to her he was so nice but not because for the man i was i was heartbroken and asked her to reconsider to get to know me more using more logic and reason but she refused she continued to say that she felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate because i was so considerate and nice you're so nice and she was worried that i would feel hurt if i didn't get affection from her basically that's her way of saying you're a needy insecure smothering jackass and i need my freedom she said her heart wasn't in the same place as i was yet in other words you're way more into me dude than you should be and you're way more into me than i am in a you and women care about how they feel they don't really give a about how much you super duper like them and she wasn't sure about this relationship which was why she decided to end it well she's sure at that point she's sure she's totally turned off she said the timing wasn't just right sounds legit does it the timing wasn't right well partially that's correct if you look at it from this perspective of you're trying to do too much too soon in other words you didn't give it enough time to blossom you tried to rush it and after a month she's like all right this i'm out of here he says when we broke up she told me that she was doing this because there was a moment when she realized i wasn't the man she wanted to be with because of what happened the previous night the previous night we had sex without protection so you went in the raw i should have worn a condom but it happened in the heat of passion and i ejaculated outside of her she immediately rushed to the other room to take a after sex birth control pill she told me it was at that moment she realized that she didn't want any chance of getting pregnant with me and then i made her realize i wasn't the one for her pretty obvious so again too much too soon too smothering and now she's risking getting pregnant it's not because of the almost getting pregnant thing it's because that was like a tree in other words that was this the straw that broke the camel's back he's at after hearing this i was stunned and couldn't reply with a comeback come on man you shouldn't be stunned if you've been watching all these videos bro such a shame he says she continued on to say that she felt that she was into me because i was so good to her but not for the man i was i told her that her feelings will grow as time passes which that's actually true but now you're trying to reason with her and this has all to do with her emotions and how she feels about you and you're getting in the way of her falling for you because you're trying too hard trying to do too much trying to be extra nice because deep down you don't think you deserve her and you're acting this way and she wants an equal she wants a teammate she wants a guy who's got confidence and you're not displaying confidence you're acting like a puss but she said she just didn't want to continue this relationship i didn't know what else to say so i replied that if her heart feels that way i'd understand i told her reach back to me if she changes her mind that's the right approach right out of seven principles get an ex back which you can google that article and video and i if you're in this situation i highly recommend you get really familiar with the article and the video because there's a lot of things in here out of handle objections when she does come back he says i believe she panicked when i ejaculated without a condom and she wasn't ready for that situation with a man she was only developing feelings for well it's partially true you're using that as oh i didn't use a condom and that's why we broke up no you turned her off dude she wasn't feeling it because you didn't give her enough time and space away from you that's why in the book it teaches you shouldn't do more than 20 to 30 of calling texting and pursuing and the same thing applies on a date she should be doing most of the bumping into you and the touching and being near you and just letting her be just like a cat you're amused by the cat as it goes and it roams the room because you know in a little while it's going to come back and sit in my lap and i'm not worried about it i believe my irresponsible behavior put her off and she got hurt because of my actions and that drove her away dude what drove her away was you acting like a needy insecure jackass and the fact that you're saying that you know what you get another come on man come on man that's what you're rationalized that wasn't my approach the problem is you're acting needy you're insecure you're way over pursuing this girl and you're doing the opposite of what the book teaches i was hurt by her saying that she didn't want any chance of getting pregnant with me understandably we dated for only a month so i sent her a long text about her how hurtful it was to hear such a thing to which she apologized it's like don't make a girl your therapist dude you're acting like a sorry but not sorry that's that's reality don't act like a don't act like a mangina unless you want to be treated like one she ended the text by saying that her heart wasn't there yet and didn't want to feel guilty by keeps keeping seeing me she told me i was a great person you're so great and that she was glad to have met me but didn't want to take this further she's the girl of my dreams and what i've met you know the one i've met in over five years is there any chance of winning her winning back her heart well first off you need to stop thinking that way second off you need to look at it as if she needs to earn another chance with you not the other way around don't call don't text her for any reason ever again if she reaches out assume she wants to see you invite her to your house to make dinner together hang out and have fun hook up stop talking about a relationship read the book 10 to 15 times actually follow instructions for a change he says please i know i didn't do as you're teaching but this girl is a girl of my dreams well it's like you're putting on a pedestal and treating her like a celebrity and therefore what did she do she treated you like an ugly groupie that's what it is you didn't give her enough time to develop feelings because you were in a rush because you were afraid of losing her any harsh advice and feedback to get her back would be greatly appreciated again some principals get an ex back read the article watch the video memorize it immerse yourself in three percent man and for those who haven't read it yet you can read it for free at understandingrelations.com all you do subscribe to the email newsletter don't be like this guy let her do all the calling texting pursuing dude when you hear from her make dates the first three dates the next three dates have to all be at your place she has to come to you you're going to have to withdraw the offer this is how you help display dominance and that you are not going to be so easy to get back it causes her to actually work to get you back this engages her emotions it makes her like you more if she likes you more and her emotions get engaged guess what she's going to be all over your ass like white on rice that's what you want you want a girl that's just like a giant sucker fish she just sticks herself to you that's what they do they you can't get rid of them and then they assimilate you they're like the borg resistance is futile lower your shields you will be assimilated we will combine your biological likeness with our own if you've ever seen star trek one of the old villains women are like the borg if you treat them properly you won't be able to get rid of them and then this kind of you'll never have to worry about these kind of things ever happening again and so if you'd like to get my help personally you're in a similar situation you're scratching your hand what the hell do i do and you'd like to talk to me go to understandingrelationships.com click the products tab top your screen on any page my website and book a coaching session until next time i will talk to you soon

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 45,756

Rating: 4.8837209 out of 5

Keywords: get ex back

Id: qCLv2BYR6wg

Length: 22min 39sec (1359 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 31 2020