I Won't Beg You To Stay

I'm coach Roy Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be I won't beg you to stay well I've got an email here from a guy he's gonna follow my work for about two years and I guess was over the summer he had I did some email coaching with him and he originally like most people came to my work after a bad breakup he was chasing and begging a girl taken back came across my work started watching my YouTube videos reading articles reading the book applying it he got really seriously focused on his purpose and his mission in life he moved he changed countries he was living in he got his his his career and the TV and film industry is like a part of a stunt a some person that started to really take off his career started taking off met this really great girl and then things were great and then when he went to Europe to do the scenes for the location for the TV show that he got hired on that were that took place in Europe things started going sideways and then literally before she came to visit him with cut weeks before she came to visit she bailed on him started backing away start getting flaky and he's thinking what the [ __ ] and so it's interesting what I liked about this email is that what you see here and this is the way the universe works it's like until you overcome something until you overcome a challenge or maybe a weakness that you have that you're working on it's like the universe just keeps dropping like the perfect people right in your life to help you overcome that and we see when I go I've got you've got two emails from this guy the original email coaching I did over the summer with them and then it is update of to like what's transpired since then since he implemented the things that we discussed and his his email coaching and so you kind of see the progression of like how he used to be how he's obviously still in some ways struggling to overcome that over pursuing because obviously something very similar is happening now this girl was really into him at first and then it's like soon as he left the country she started backing away and losing interest then started cancelling plans on him and so with what I see when I look at this it's like he had a second woman that showed up a little different then the first one he was with that originally led him to my work and it's like this is it's like as you apply this if you like self-help really is kind of like it's like peeling the layer of an onion it's like you get get past one layer and then you find out wow there's another layer there you know it's just like climbing a mountain of success it's like you get to the top of mountain you reach your goal you achieve your goal and you look around you're like wait a minute there's even [ __ ] bigger Mountain over there I want to conquer that next so you set a new goal you start setting to achieve it and with life you can never stop evolving you could always become a better version of yourself and this guy's made a lot of dramatic changes really impacted his life in a positive way by taking action but it's like the relationship that he was involved with this particular girl it's easier than the obviously a lot better than the first one was but he's still struggling with some of those same kinds of themes and it really boils down to standing up for yourself and especially if you're somebody that's trying to go from not standing up for yourself very much and putting up a crap from people that you shouldn't be until you really truly overcome that weakness you're gonna the universities it kind of continually bring people into your life to help you overcome and master something that you may presently be weakened or not very good at because everybody in some way shape or form is going through something similar in their life it's like all of us we have something that we're working on or maybe a multitude of things that were trying to improve many areas of our lives because the more we're able to live our life and get up every day and do something that we enjoy we value for living and spent and do it with the kind of people we enjoy value being around and and also who value us taking care of our bodies because obviously the healthier you are the sharper you're gonna be more mentally clear you're going to be more articulate you're going to be the more efficient you're going to be the less sleep you're gonna get a need the better you're going to look the more attractive you're going to be members of the opposite sex so it's it all works to your benefit when you focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be so I've a quote that I wrote and they want to go through his first email and then obviously the second one we'll go through and see his update and see how he's kind of progressed over the past few months so the quote says it's not always easy to be yourself stand up for yourself and live your personal truth of who you really are this is especially true in a world that tends to place a higher value on conformity and fitting in instead of being uniquely spectacular and standing out from the rest of the crowd all of life is a negotiation and therefore you don't get what you deserve you only get what you negotiate you must give people the freedom space and time to mutually choose to not only have you in their lives but also make the effort to show you that they want you through their actions however when you notice that someone does not value what you offer you should not hesitate to walk away and continue searching for someone who will often especially like when you're emotionally involved that's easier said than done but it really is an art it's not so much as science it's not like at the end of the day we're thinking feeling emotional beings but when you understand yourself you understand what creates attraction not only between you to another person but the other person to you and you're aware of that and you can see that you can see body language you see physiology you can look what people do it's much easier to remain objective and make better choices it's also it keeps you in a more peaceful and relaxed state and like I've said many times in the past when you're in a peaceful and relaxed state you're going to make better choices you're gonna make more efficient choices and when you make more efficient choices you're gonna get to where you want to be a lot quicker and you know a lot more efficient about it so it's very important that you set your life up to be peaceful much ease bunch of delight and things just naturally unfolding as opposed to like the cat on the Hot Tin Roof so to speak where you're constantly putting out fires in your life because if you're constantly putting out fires and your personal life your business your career having health problems and health challenges you're always reacting instead of responding when you react your actions are very inefficient but when you're responding and you take time to contemplate and be in the present moment you make much better choices and therefore you get to where you want to be a lot quicker and a lot more efficiently and with a lot less hassle and challenges so back to the quote that I wrote not being wanted or valued should be a turn-off to you and should cause you to withdraw and continue your search elsewhere being with you is a precious gift and a privilege not a right make sure people earn and appreciate your time so let's go through his email he says dear coach I have a dilemma I found your YouTube videos and booked and booked two years ago when a relationship went south and I got desperate and chased this girl like crazy obviously she ran for the hills and I was a guy that I'd never been and it was when it mattered most to me so in other words what he's saying is the way I get really emotional a pup in somebody it's really hard to do the right thing in other words he's saying I wasn't being my being myself in others he was an exercise in emotional self-control and if you're a man and you do that with some a woman you're dating it's usually not going to end well because when you're not sure when you're not certain you make your woman feel very unsafe and uncomfortable and then she doesn't trust your masculine core doesn't trust you to be the leader anyway I decided to move to can I move home to Canada after having lived overseas for nine years in Hong Kong to pursue acting and stunt work in film and television I focused on this and after six months of being home I got the call to be a part of the stunt team for a popular Netflix show that shoots in Europe and Asia for seven months score he says of course I met a great girl one month out from my departure so you notice as soon as his his career really starts to take off he's loving what he's doing he's doing he's passionate about he's doing he's always dreaming he literally live another country for almost a decade and gave all that up to move back to Canada and get in the industry that he always wanted to get into he worked harder at that than anything he probably ever done before he was more passionate he was happier and then obviously he gets a job on a on a very successful show for a big Network like Netflix a multi-billion dollar company think about what something like that does to your confidence you go from having a dream about something like this your whole life and now you're living the dream you're happier you're more confident now you're taking better care of your body you're smiling more you're gonna be more attractive and then BOOM soon as it happens a month later he meets a girl why because he focused on pickup skills or dating skills well partly but the real reason is he took care of himself and he made himself happier and he started creating a life and lifestyle there was a kind that he always always wanted so now he's showing up in life feeling like I'm finally doing what I was put on this earth to do and therefore obviously it's a lot easier to truck somebody in your life if y'all versus somebody who always feels like they're behind the 8-ball or is always having to work much one shitty job after another to pay the bills and short things were amazing I did everything I was supposed to do I hung back and I waited I made definite dates etc and within two weeks she told me that she loved me well that's pretty [ __ ] quick that should be something a little bit of a red fly after two weeks of girls telling you she's in love with you that sounds like somebody that's kind of run by their emotions and she wanted to prove to me that she could be a better woman to me than anyone else again remember and the first 90 days of any relationship people can hide who they really are and so this girl two weeks you're talking 14 whole days she's like I love you we should be together on that should be a little bit of a red flag typically people that act that way tend to be a little insecure gonna be a little needy I mean two weeks I mean it does happen we're I mean I had a friend of mine she's been with her husband and I've been going over like 30 years at this point they met in six weeks later they were married and they just like always been together ever since it does happen it's very rare but when you meet somebody in two weeks later they were in love with you and you're not even there yet yourself that should cause you to go home wait a minute when I left she cried at the airport and messaged me telling me that I am her once-in-a-lifetime love so what does that tell you remember like I discussed in my book when a woman says something like that - that's what she's feeling in the moment and women are kind of like mother nature one moment it's nice and calm and beautiful out the next moment it's just thunderstorms lightning tornadoes hail snow storm torrential downpours so you got to look when oh because a lot of guys latch onto something like that and then six months later when the girl wants nothing to do with me thinking hey I'm the love of her lifetime it was like well she told you that six months ago but now she's trying to get you out of her life so you got to look at what a woman is saying and doing right now in the present moment cuz quite frankly everything else that she's ever said it doesn't matter it's strictly a reflection of how she feels in the moment and you should take it as such because she always always want to be looking like I discussed the interest level day of my book where do I stand with this girl would her appened what do her actions communicate to me about her true interest and attraction in effort that she's making to make me feel loved and wanted things went south once I was gone now keep in mind what this guy is struggled with is pursuing too much and so if you're in town because you know think about it if the guy's been fearful in the past of losing a girl and now he's away and she's really hot and this is the best he's ever had it so far in his life and now he's in another country do you think his probably a good possibility these gonna be thinking I'm not loser to somebody else just gonna probably try a little bit more cuz he's got more to lose his perception is this girl is a lot more valuable than anyone I've had so far and I really don't want to lose her and if he's got those old tendencies that he's trying to overcome they're going to slip out and he even admits that a little later in his email he says she got a ticket to come visit me in Europe for a week in two days before she came she called me to tell me that she felt emotionally distant from me so in other words her attraction is dropping I of course saw this so when you're long distance like that you go from being together all the time and if you've been falling when I teach by the time you leave to go to Europe she should be doing most of the calling texting and pursuing at that point and so if you're not gonna see her for a while you wait to hear from her and then when you do you zoom she won't see when you make a Skype video date or a FaceTime chat and then those virtual dates take the place of the physical things because you can't physically be together in person but if you let her do it then when she's missing you and she's thinking about you and she's wondering about you and she misses you the most that's when she reaches out to you and then that's her idea and when a woman is chasing you and feels emotionally close to you because you've done everything right in the beginning like I discussed in my book they'll do almost all of the calling texting pursuing and then you never have to worry about getting rejected but obviously you can see if you're in a kind of a fearful state like more than likely this guy was you're gonna do a little too much and then they go and the woman says I'm confused I'm not sure I feel distant from you I of course saw this as a huge problem I almost got emotional and upset and then I stopped myself and started to ask her questions to get her to talk it didn't work so I told her that if she changed her mind to give me a call cuz think about it he's saying you told me that you're gonna in essence if I if I'm look if I'm him and I'm looking at her actions like she told me that she's gonna go out of her way to make me feel like she's the most awesome woman and world and I'd be a full letter get away she said she was gonna these are her words she this is what she tells me she's going to prove to me right so he goes here but she's like yeah I don't know I'm not gonna come see you really Wow it's a I just can't wait to talk to you again soon this is so exciting we think about that she's just now saying I don't really value very much oh you don't value me very much that just like I said the quote that should turn you off when you see it when the other person's not making the effort to ask you questions about yourself maybe they're selfish maybe they're narcissistic and you notice those things that should be the kind of thing that makes you go I want somebody who's fascinating wants to know about me and my hopes and my dreams and what I want out of life and ask me those things not something that sits there and expects me to [ __ ] entertain them or regale them with stories and there are women out there that are narcissistic and are shallow to the point where they'll never ask you anything about their about who you are why cuz they really don't care because they're so self-absorbed so you gotta look out for those kind of women she did a week she did after a week and a half she was angry with me for not having done anything to save the relationship so I noticed a week later now she starts busting his balls she's pushing him away because more than likely he expressed some weakness because remember women don't dump guys at they're head over heels in love with that is a fact of life and if you're treating a woman properly like I discussed my book and she ditches you she's either a fruit loop or you did something wrong it's that simple because when a woman's head over heels in love with a guy she can't wait to see you so obviously something went sideways when he was chit-chatting with her on skype or facetime once he was finally in Europe and so what he does right here is he says I stood up for myself of course because it was her idea not mine exactly so she tries to blame it on him and if he's been acting weak then she's gonna say it's all his fault because that's really a true statement from her perspective if he was acting weak and it turned her off and she no longer one then she say well it's your fault for not trying to save the relationship but when you love and you value yourself she's the one who decided to start treating like like a second-class citizen she's the one who decided I'm not going to come visit you now when you were the one looking forward to seeing her and she supposedly was too but obviously we look at her actions and now she's acting like she really doesn't give a [ __ ] so she doesn't give a [ __ ] you shouldn't give a [ __ ] it's that simple that should turn you off that should be a red flag makes you go I really don't have any interest or desire to talk to you fight for the relationship you just you had plans to come see me now you're cancelling your flight and are gonna come visit me and yet it's my fault that's [ __ ] you're not making the effort I'll find somebody else while I'm here give me a call if you change your mind so he says I stood up for myself of course because it was her idea not mine so he's totally correct with them by doing that he says I told her I wasn't cool with her not wanting to be with me anymore but she changed her mind if she changed her mind to give me a call she drunk-dialed me once and then texted me pictures of her in a bikini with her girlfriends at some pool party I didn't respond I got the idea of walking away because she [ __ ] up and it's true that's exactly what I teaches seven principles get an ex back she pushes you away she's the one that says I don't really value you or your time and so therefore I can live without you if somebody can live without you then guess what you can live without them too even if you don't feel like it you need to it has nothing to do with the other person has everything to do with how you value and respect yourself again this is all the reason I do these videos is to help you implement the principles that are in the book so you can master them well I may have done things to turn her off she didn't come out and say them see he recognizes obviously I was [ __ ] up and so how do we how can I sit here and go what he did things to turn her off because I look at her actions women don't dump men they're in love with and that is a fact of life she basically said I'm not that into you anymore she's either a fruit loop or he did things to turn her off and obviously the fact that he mentioned this and he's been following me for two years he's obviously recognized he's still got some work to do on himself he's got a lot better than he was when he first came to me but he's still got a way to go and that's what happens when you date somebody that you really have emotionally intense feelings for it's a thousand times harder to do things right versus somebody you're just not that into the thing is she's going to call me back for sure I've already asked her out twice and I'm overseas until December anyway what's your take and what would your response be to her should she reach out before I get back should I just tell her I will call her when I get back and see what happens I'm studying your book when I'm not at work and I'm doing my due diligence because I know I'm not great at the material yet so your help is greatly appreciated what I like about that he's saying he's seen things as they are not better than they are worse than they are he's realizing you know what obviously if she was head over heels loved me and I've been treating her right she wouldn't have to blow me off like this so that was this email I just read was his email that he sent me and this is my response that I sent to him the email coach I'm just gonna read it verbatim and I said if you've already asked her to come visit you twice and she shot you down both times you won't ask anymore you need to bottom line in her actions she did not do what she said she was going to do on more than one occasion it does not really matter the reason why at this point she blew her chance never contact her again and from now on you'll only send two to three replies max to her texts and messages and if she calls you you'll only talk to the phone for two to three minutes max and then always in the text messages or phone calls with hey it was great hearing from you but I gotta run keep in touch I mean that's right out of seven principles connects back she'll need to bring up getting together or stop contacting you for good maybe she's emotionally messed up or a fruit loop etc you simply don't know but our actions communicate that she is out and obviously I give the link to seven principles getting next back so here's this follow-up response and this was back in July when I think was into July so it's basically this is what's transpired over the last two months cuz keep in mind he's not gonna be back in the states until or Canada until December anyways and as of right now we're in October so he's still got two months away now keep in mind she had a ticket everything bottom was gonna come visit him so he says dear coach I want to thank you for your amazing work with both the book and the videos you make all week every week they only show us how simple in the easy things can be a girl that I was dating before who previously broke up with me has basically been doing all the things you outline in your book as well as your video seven principles to get an ex back the best part about this is I am 41 and during my younger days I did all the stuff right I'd say around three years ago I did literally every single thing wrong with a girl I absolutely loved and I screwed that one up beyond any sort of salvage ability possible it makes me laugh now just thinking about it anyway this girl who dumped me around three months ago has kept chasing me remember she goes from like yeah I don't think I'm gonna come see you two now she's calling in text him all the time that keep in mind I told to stop asking her to come visit cuz not only did she not come visit but she cancelled the plans I am he's asked her twice and she said no so you're only gonna ask twice and the only way you bring it up again is if the other person asks because if they're not bring if she's not bringing up and she really doesn't want to see him that's why I say your she doesn't deserve any of your time she deserves it very little you'll be kind and respectful and charming and playful and he'll send two to three replies and if she calls you two to three minutes is like hey I got a run but it's great hearing from you keep in touch she'll either bring up getting together or she'll stop calling at that point again that's right out of some principles connects back she opened herself up to me again by telling me that she loves me and misses me and so I obviously told her how I felt the thing is I'm not back in town in December so if she says oh really you love me and you miss me is like great when you gonna hop in the [ __ ] plane and come see me then because quite frankly that sounds nice and wonderful but when I look at your actions you talk a lot but I don't really see you doing so if you mean that by a [ __ ] ticket and send to me and come see me in the next couple of weeks otherwise you know I gotta I gotta move on I'm sorry you're great girl but you know talk is cheap and I'm busy I'd love to see I'd love to spend time with you so actions speak louder in words and you know talk talk is cheap doesn't mean [ __ ] to me if you say you're gonna do it and then don't do it I mean you know I look at what you do this thing is I'm not back in town until December when this TV show I'm working on wraps up for this season I'm not at all worried because I know these things work now I just keep reading your book every day and I'm now up to five times now keep in mind this guys have follow me for two years and each just now read the book five times so that's another reason why he's struggled he didn't follow the instructions he didn't read the book ten to fifteen times it didn't he didn't read it so much it became instinctual therefore I mean he's basically got himself into a situation because he didn't learn the fundamentals he is what it is you know I mean but the bottom line is he's getting there and he's doing it at his own pace but it could be a lot quicker but again it's his life just another 10 to 15 more times ago I just wanted to extend my thanks to you for the simple and sound advice you provided to anyone in everyone you basically set out to help us for free and give us the choice to pay for your one-on-one coaching that's the way my business model is I give all my best stuff away for free you can even read my book for free on my website by subscribing to my newsletter you can read it if you're using a desktop computer you can read the whole book there before you ever buy a Kindle or an iBook or a paperback version and you can apply it and once you see wow this really really does work and you feel I've added value then go ahead and buy it buy a version of it I have to say that your coaching is the absolute best there is for any man to not only meet women but to set out and build themselves a happy life no matter how lavish your simple they desire it to be and to have exactly what we want out of life is never too much to ask for I mean quite frankly it's your birthright to be awesome anyway thank you and keep up the good work I tell all my friends male or female about you and they really dig your stuff too well thanks for the emails and the good update and like I said that's that's how I would handle it at this point I mean you're responding to the girl but the bottom line is she's still in making plans to come see you so it's a moot point but you know a girl starts talking about how much she loves you was like really so when you hop on a plane to come see me and make me dinner and do a lot of sucking up to me for not coming to visit me when you said you were oh you don't know well great you know what I'm really busy I would love to see you but quite frankly I just don't have time for this I mean I'd really rather spend my time talking to somebody who says what they mean and who means what they say it's that simple so if you'd like to get my help pursue the quickest ways a book a paid phone Skype or email coaching session you can choose any of those options by going on my website clicking the products tab at the top your screen and just follow the instructions for booking which our option works best for you and I will talk to you soon you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 173,338

Rating: 4.8824062 out of 5

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Id: ZveWTqqYAfE

Length: 27min 48sec (1668 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 16 2015