Girlfriends Male Orbiters - How To Stay The Prize?

[Music] hi i'm coach cory wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be girlfriends mail orbiters how to stay the prize so i got an email here from a guy who he's young he's like 20 and his girlfriend's like 18 and the problem is she's got several it sounds like somewheres up to ten different guys male orbiters that she is friends with who she's constantly texting with all the time and obviously he had this happen once before with his previous girlfriend and this was before we found out about my work and was very insecure and eventually she cheated on him and so here he is with his latest girlfriend he's kind of got the same situation he's handled it a little better but what i want you to look for as i'm going through the email is if you can pick up on what he's doing wrong because obviously if he's like his question is how do i stay the prize he obviously doesn't feel like he's the prize in the relationship that he's not getting a hundred percent of her attention and validation seeking so that obviously would be indicative of the fact that her interest is not as high in him as he would like so see if you could spot what he's doing wrong so i have a quote that i wrote and then we'll go through his email the quote says men tend to value loyalty above all else in relationships they don't like it when their girlfriend wife or women they're dating is carrying on conversations with male orbiters during their relationship women who behave this way usually have daddy and abandonment issues and crave attention from other men due to their own insecurities and lack of integrity it also shows a lack of respect for and interest in their current boyfriend husband or guy they are dating the quickest way to get someone's attention is to remove yours if your woman has many male orbiters ask her how she would feel if several women were constantly texting you some of which you have slept with in the past if she wouldn't like that then she should stop doing it to you love cannot exist where there is no trust if she is unwilling to correct this disrespectful behavior you should give her the gift of missing you permanently and find a woman who values loyalty communication and commitment women who constantly need attention and validation from other men will simply cheat with one of them when they become unhappy enough with their current man before leaving and feel zero remorse for it because after all all's fair in love and war as that old saying goes so let's go through his email and i see this oftentimes i was doing a phone session with a guy yesterday who had a wife he's been with for a couple of decades and they got a bunch of kids together and he found out that she's been in the on the verge or in the process of having an affair with another guy and i was he was stunned to find this out and then the telltale signs were she was always hiding her phone keeping her phone face down so the screen wouldn't be there and he noticed little things like this but he'd ask her what was wrong what's going on and of course she would have some answer and then he finally one night she was supposedly out with her friends and turns out she he walks in and there she is holding hands with this other dude you can imagine a guy who's been with a woman for a couple decades walking in and seeing his wife being very flirtatious and affectionate with another man when she's maintaining like everything's fine in their marriage it's like talking about betrayal that sucks those are difficult situations to put back together and that particular guy he wanted he wanted to save his marriage and keep his family together he's willing to forgive her and give her a chance to correct it so obviously he gave him some strategy that will give him the best possible chance to make that a reality but at the end of the day doesn't have any integrity i personally see ya so this guy says hey coach i first want to thank you for all of your amazing content you have released over the years i've learned so much from you i'm a 20 year old male in a relationship with a girl two years younger than me that is 18. so we both are very young you don't know what you don't know yet and obviously the goal with reading a book like mine my first book three percent man and watching these videos is so you can learn from other guys and pick up from people that have more experience in these matters on what to do and what not to do and obviously you've got a pretty tricky situation here you've been cheated on in the past and you got a girlfriend who's displaying the same behavior and that's the way the universe works is you tend to attract the same weaknesses you attract the same kind of people so you can have the opportunity to transcend it and overcome it and here you are with a girl that's basically treating you the same way as the one who cheated on you so obviously a lot of times your natural instinct is to react the same way you reacted to your ex because especially when you see this girl displaying the same behaviors as the ex who cheated on you he says we've been talking and dating for around five months before committing to a relationship and we have been together in total around six or seven months so for those of you that are very familiar with my book what does that tell you took a long time for her to fall in love and want to be exclusive he doesn't say who brought it up but obviously if it took five months to get to the point where you were exclusive she wasn't crazy head over heels in love with you if she ever has been just by looking that because if you're following what the book teaches usually seven week week eight is usually when the woman's in love with you and wants to be exclusive and want you all to herself and keep in mind this is the first relationship since the last one that you cheated on and obviously you're trying to overcome the mistakes you made in the past and it's not going to be easy it's not a light switch it's a process you have to go through it's a daily process trying to get better and that's why i say read the book 10 to 15 times and obviously i would say more than likely you probably have not done that you're probably trying to cherry pick from videos maybe you skim through the book a couple of times but you need to read it 10 to 15 times dude it's like it's like i do so many phone sessions with guys and it's like yeah i've been through it once or twice in the past three years i was like and you wonder why you're struggling i say it people don't listen to me but i repeat it in most of my videos because as a coach i gotta teach the fundamentals because people don't listen they're lazy that's the way it is but with everything comes consequences he says my question comes in regards to her male orbiters and friends that are constantly blowing up her phone well obviously she's inviting that because she enjoys it i had been in a previous relationship where the girl i was with had orbiters and had male friends but i got super insecure and was always questioning what they were talking about or what their past histories were that relationship ended when i found out she was cheating on me deleting messages etc and i know i helped that by being insecure yeah you only have control over what you do and how you show up you could be the best boyfriend in the world and you can apply everything that's in my book perfectly but if you're dating a woman who has no integrity as soon as you slip up this is what's going to happen she's going to be giving out her number to other dudes that have interests and those guys are not interested in just being friends and if she believes that they're just want to be friends that is some serious bull shiite i think it deserves a sip of no drama allowed i don't have these problems in my life he says this time i haven't gotten insecure or been weird about or scared about it but i have mentioned it to her that i feel like some girls lie about having guy friends when they aren't really true friends at all they are flings past lovers and i ask that if it ever came up or came to it that she just told me the truth about someone if it's an actual friend or someone she messed around with so it's a fairly diplomatic way of going about going so tell me about all these guys that you're always talking to if i was dating a girl and this was still going on that would be indicative of low interest in me and that would mean that i'm pursuing too much and seeking her attention and validation and she obviously thinks that i'm way more into her than she is and to me and this is one of the reasons why it took five six months for you guys to become exclusive is that you obviously weren't doing everything that's in the book because you just didn't take the time you progressed things you were making progress but it still took way longer than it should have if you were applying what's in the book he says after i brought this up she told me she had slept with one of her friends interesting and they still talk to this day because obviously he still got the thirst he's got the thirst for the panani the puss wah he wants the pushua again and he doesn't care that she supposedly has a boyfriend he just looks at you as an obstacle to getting back in her panties but i saw that as a positive thing by her telling me and being open with me instead of hiding that information well you coaxed it out of her in a diplomatic way at least she gave you the truth about it he says also one of her male co-workers asked your boyfriend doesn't get mad when you talk to these other guys he said so i know up to that point i've remained mostly in my alpha frame and haven't blown my status as the prize you sure about that bro i don't know about that one i don't know about that but i would be lying if i told you that i didn't don't think about it from time to time and don't question when i see her phone being lit up right in front of me that's just too much it's too much that shit's happening way too much and i know she can sense this from me even if it's a little bit yeah because deep down she knows it's inappropriate it's disloyal and it's disrespectful behavior but if you're worried about losing her and you're fearful because obviously you were in your last relationship and here you are you've gotten better but it's obvious based on her interactions with you that you still got a ways to go that you're still pursuing too much calling too much texting too much seeking too much validation because she's not obsessed with you she seems to like you a lot and she's given you a commitment now how committed she really is to that commitment that's kind of up in the air he says so if she has 10 to 15 multiple orbiters and guy friends blowing up her phone on the daily how can i set myself apart when texting calling her and in person without being too cold barely texting her throughout the day and being too clingy trying to make sure i'm always texting her when these guys are that's your problem right there dude you're not following the book at this point if you were applying what the book teaches she should be doing almost 100 of the calling texting pursuing women just naturally do this more and more over time it's not a game playing thing that you're doing it's your facilitating her falling in love with you and becoming emotionally bonded to you by letting her do most of the calling texting and pursuing you start out in the beginning of the book doing most of the pursuing to get together for dates but usually by the second or third date if you're applying what the book teaches you guys are sleeping together and then she's not going to want to wait two or three days or a week whatever happens to be to hear from you again she'll reach out and then you use that as an opportunity to set the next date the fact that you're focused on i need to text her and i need to call her more because i'm worried about these other guys tells me you're chasing and you're pursuing her and you're not letting her pursue you and so her interest in you is kind of mediocre i'd say on a attraction scale one to ten based upon her actions it's probably a six maybe a seven and it kind of fluctuates back and forth in that area because you're just she doesn't value you because you don't value yourself you don't act like a guy number one you're allowing her to continue to do this and you haven't nipped it in the bud but there's a respectful way i'll get to that in a second on what to do he says i know that if i don't text her that much when i do text she will be excited huh what a revelation isn't that interesting well guess what that means you do more of that you do less texting less calling see if you can get away with not texting or calling her at all and only responding to her texts she'll notice that she'll feel it do it slowly over the course of about a week just slowly back off to the point where you don't call text or initiate at all even if you go a day without or two or three without hearing from her and then when she brings it up he says oh babe i'm so sorry i've just been real busy it's so great to hear your voice let's get together i miss you i want to see you but how do i deal knowing she's getting attention validation anyways without needing me to text her well the reality is it looks like from her actions that she's you know young she's immature she may have some daddy issues and she might not be the best girlfriend material because she's displaying a lot of disloyal qualities and you can't turn a hoe into a housewife so if she falls head over heels in love with you and becomes obsessed with you if you start actually applying what the book teaches you'll notice that this other crap will go by the wayside but when you're doing too much seeking her attention and validation and texting her all the time like you obviously are there's just there's no emotional pull towards you she's not having to work to get you to be in her life more to get your attention where women are naturally designed to seek a man's attention and his love and his presence and his strength they just do this naturally and you facilitate this and let it happen she says also note our conversations get very dull and boring very quick she puts very little effort in that tells me you're trying to force conversations when she's not into it again you're over pursuing you probably don't think you are but you're way over pursuing this girl you shouldn't be calling or texting her at all unless she really complains about it three or four times and then maybe after she's complained about it three or four times and brought it up over the course of several weeks said you never talk call me you never texted me it really bothers me then once a week you can surprise her with a random text a random phone call a random email mail a card to her house tell her how much you love her what you love about her what a great weekend you had whatever it should be just send an email another time just do little things where you can surprise her with unexpected initiated contact but more than likely you'll be able to get away with letting her do a hundred percent of calling texting pursuing i know it's scary i know it's the opposite of what you feel you should do because you're worried about these other guys but you're trying to control the situation and the problem is you're totally not in control and that's why you're writing me in the first place that's why you just let it go let it be let her seek your attention and validation now as far as these guys go the next time you're laying in bed together after you've had sex you're going to say i want to talk to you about something that's been obviously bothering me for a while we've kind of briefly talked about it but you know we're supposedly in an exclusive relationship and you've got like 10 to 15 different dudes that are blowing up your phone all the time and one of my at least one of them i know is a guy that you've had sex with before and the only reason that guy is staying in touch with you is because he wants to get in your pants again just like the guys that you work with and just like these other guys they're not your friends they want your they want to be inside you that's what they want that's what they're after and anything they say other than that even if they deny that it's total because if these guys had any integrity and they weren't a bunch of little worms they wouldn't be texting and calling you when you have a boyfriend how would you feel if i had ex-girlfriends several ex-girlfriends and other women that i've just casually hooked up with calling me and blowing my phone up wanting to get together want to talk to me how would you feel about that would you like that would you think that's respectful and loyal behavior on my part obviously she's going to say no he's like well if we if we're going to continue seeing each other and i'm going to continue to be committed to be loyal to you only you've got to display loyalty to me and the way i look at this whole thing is you're not displaying any loyalty at all it's like you're maintaining these guys in the background and giving them false hope that if it doesn't work out with us you'll jump in the bed with them and it's like i don't like that that's that turns me off that makes me question if i really even long term want to stay in a relationship with you or maybe we should just become friends with benefits or buddies or if i just just move on and find a woman who values my loyalty because obviously if you valued my loyalty you wouldn't be doing the you wouldn't be texting these guys all the time that's the way i feel about it now you can do whatever you want with it but you know if we're going to continue to be exclusive and this behavior is going to continue then i'm going to start flirting and talking to other girls and eventually i'm going to leave you for somebody else because you know why should i be exclusive to somebody that's not really exclusive with me you're kind of violating your commitment to me and that's kind of rude and disrespectful and i don't appreciate that the proper thing to do is to say you know out of respect for my boyfriend i really need to minimize our contact and if these guys keep texting you just like just ghost them just let them be let them disappear block their numbers if you have to out of respect for me and our relationship that's what you should do i'm not going to force you to do it but i'm telling you right now if this behavior continues because no drama allowed i'm not going to stick around i've been cheated on once before by a girlfriend who did exactly the same things that you're doing now what that tells me is women who behave this way tend to be very insecure they tend to be disloyal they tend to not value loyalty or commitment they tend to be selfish and narcissistic and if they're not happy or their boyfriend's not doing what they want them to do or treating the way they want to treat them they'll just go and somebody else it's like what's the point of having being exclusive with somebody if they're not acting loyal to you and you don't you're not displaying any characteristics to communicate to me that you're you value loyalty maybe you're just the kind of girl that wants to date and a lot of different random guys and if that's who you are that's great i'm happy for you but it's not really what i'm looking for it's not what i signed up for when i agreed to be in a relationship with you so you got to figure out what you want because i'm i'm not going to stick around for that that's how i would handle that obviously i wouldn't be in that situation to begin with but obviously you're there now and that's the best most diplomatic way because you're putting the ball on her court and you're giving her the opportunity to push these other guys away and treat you better and she'll respect you for the fact that you're standing up and not losing your and being angry about it you're just telling her in a very matter-of-fact way that you don't appreciate it you look at it as disloyal dishonest and devious behavior and you're telling her that these guys are not interested in being your pal or your buddy they want to be your brains out that's what they really want and any of them that tell you differently they're full of and all these guys i think they're a bunch of worms i personally wouldn't even have friends with i wouldn't be friends with guys like this and the fact that you're hanging out or talking to dudes that have no integrity it's like it makes me question your level of integrity and if you're really worthy of being my girlfriend you know it's like you gotta treat me with respect and like you love and value me and you're just not and i'm not happy with that and it needs to change if you want me to continue to agree to be your boyfriend and be exclusive with you otherwise i'm just gonna disappear and find somebody else something along those lines is how i would handle it dude you can't let this continue because you know you're letting her getting away with all kinds of disrespect and you're tolerating it and you're inviting more of it and you know it's going to end the same way that the last relationship unless you set some healthy boundaries and hold her accountable to him and if she she might not be capable of it she might just be too insecure and up to be worthy of being a girlfriend or being loyal to anybody and go find you yourself a girl that does value that if she can't get her together that's the harsh reality bro so if you'd like to get my help personally with any kind of situation personal or professional that you would like my expertise or help with go to understandingrelationships.com click the products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly until next time i will talk to you soon

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 53,185

Rating: 4.9354839 out of 5

Keywords: get ex back, prevent cheating

Id: Ttta5WUloVE

Length: 23min 20sec (1400 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 02 2020