Friend-Zoned

hi I'm coach Corey Wayne this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be friend-zoned I've got two emails I'm gonna go through with you today the first one is from a guy he's pretty young and his problem is he's in love with his best friend who obviously happens to be a woman but she has a boyfriend and he wants to know what he can do to win her over because her boyfriend is a real jerk the second email is from a guy who about two years ago was really interested in this girl and she stuck him in friendzone and basically said there's absolutely no way in hell I would ever date him not gonna happen and I started doing email coaching with him a little over a year ago and he's finally had a breakthrough success after many facepalm moments on my behalf as his coach when I tell him or suggest what he should do and he either does the opposite or maybe listens to about half of it and this guy really struggled with maintaining his emotional center and just completely losing his and so he finally recently spent some time made some progress this girl even invited him into her bedroom when they started fooling around on her couch which is like a huge thing for him I mean as a coach obviously it's not it'd be nice if you could just suggest people to do things they just handle it but I mean I didn't learn this stuff overnight and it took me a long time to learn how to maintain my own emotional center so it's a good really good success story it's not hugely awesome but I mean it's a major turnaround considering this woman two years ago I was like no way in hell do two now she's like hmm I wonder how I'm gonna feel about this tomorrow so I have a quote that I wrote in this topic and I'm going to go through the first guy's email the quote says everyone wants to win and be successful at creating a life and lifestyle of their dreams however most people are unwilling to focus prepare and develop their skills so they can increase their value in both both our personal and professional lives mediocre people make excuses and listen to those who justify why being realistic and settling for less than what they are capable of simply because misery tends to love company in other words mediocre people sabotage other people's success in dreams simply because it justifies continued mediocrity in their own lives the people in your personal and professional life are not high achievers who lift you up and encourage and support your grandest dreams the reality is they are going to hold you back and inhibit your progress you can't reach your full potential when you are surrounded by an influence by mediocre minds there's a quote from Einstein he said great spirits have always encountered resistance from mediocre minds I love that quote so let's go through the first guy's email says hey coach Corey I found your website and subsequent YouTube videos a month a few months ago and I binge two or three times a day ever since you've danced around this subject before I don't dance around nothing my friend I'm in your face I don't blow sunshine up anybody's ass that is just the brutal honesty and I'm about to give you a little brutal honesty because you need it because the path that you're going down is not an honorable one and it's not a way to behave if you want to become an alpha male or should I say exude the inner alpha male that's already inside you which has been repressed by societal conditioning and seeing way too many sappy movies where the guy falls in love with his female friend and he wants to be with her but of course she's got a jerk that's her boyfriend and this guy's like I'm gonna save her from the of course in the movie they'll eventually live happily ever after but in real life when you act like this guys acting which he's acting like a that's why you stay stuck in friendzone and it's like when I read this it's like I just do the same when I was his his age but this is like as a coach it's like I say things that are shocking to people and the idea is don't make people wake up boom I can't believe he said that again I'm not here to blow sunshine up anybody's ass I got a short period of time with you and I want to get maximum benefit and impact to influence you to help you go where you want to go in life he says I'm 22 and my best friend is a girl we both never really made moves on each other we just let our natural connection play out and decided that we worked better as friends yeah we worked better my ass more than likely you brought it up vomited your feelings on her because I used to do this too when I was your age and she says we're better off as friends I heard that so many times in my early 20s I don't even so it's like you give me flashbacks dude so do me a favor listen to what I'm about to tell you because it will help you which for a while I was fine with yeah sure you were fine with it you want to your brains out but okay I'll just sit here and let my blue balls just go sounds like a great idea that's just so well but in the past few months I have realized I am in love with her as cliche as that is but she has a boyfriend so the bottom line is rejection breeds obsession and here you are you're hung up on a chick who's got a boyfriend she's not available and the more you hang out with her and the more you can have her you're going to like her more and that's not a healthy situation for you because right now your skills your game with women is not getting any better at all and the only way it's going to get better is for you to go interact with women who were single and ready to mingle this girl has a boyfriend and it's not healthy and it's not honorable for you to be hanging out with this girl with the intention of trying to get an opportunity where you can rip off this dude's girlfriend it's not cool dude and the bottom line is if your are able to pull her away from him and she cheats on you on him with you well guess what now you've just realized that that's the kind of girl she is that she cheats on him she'll cheat on you but IRA see in the movies what you see the fantasy the guy pulls her way and she just falls in love and they live happily ever after but what they don't show in the movies is once that dude gets complacent she starts the next-door neighbor or his best friend or whoever it's just the way people there's people in this world that don't value loyalty commitment even though they say they want it when you look at their actions and when you look at how they've been brought up or how they've learned or how they've interacted their relationships in the past they really don't care if they're just not into somebody anymore they're like hey well I'm not feeling it so I want to be happy and they go and screw around with somebody else so they line up a replacement and then they ditch the other person after they've been kind of seeing the other person for a while when they were just friends as they tend to tell everybody else I'm a stereotypical nice guy but trying to get better and he is a douchebag who grabs her in public if she's talking to guys makes out with her in front of her friends and tells her she can't hang out with me without him well gee maybe his spidey sense is tingling a little bit because he knows that you want to rip off his girlfriend and you want to get into her pants so can you really blame him for not wanting his girlfriend to hang out with you because more than likely if you've told her and she's close to him she's probably said yeah he's got a crush on me wants to date me so of course he's not going to want you and her to hang out together I mean come on dude think about it how would you feel if the roles were reversed if this guy was her friend and you were her boyfriend and this guy is trying to rip her off for me you wouldn't like that very much would you so when you have intentions to try to screw somebody or rip off some guy's girlfriend you're creating negative karma for yourself dude and life will come back around and smack you upside the head when you're least expecting it and when that happens you'll think about me and go man was right I mean here one thing you got to consider about this girl if she's with this guy and he's a loser and a douchebag what do you think her self-esteem is but if you're like for me when you grow up without a loving mother or father that says I love you you're great I'm proud of you you never get any attaboys you just get the kicked out of here you get ignored this is normal when you want somebody but you can't really well maybe eventually just like meet me would you get conditioned to expect is wanting love wanting to be loved but not getting it and then you meet somebody like this who's unavailable you want love from her but you can't get it and it feels normal to you because that's how you grew up that's what happened to me until I realized what how I was unknowingly sabotaging my success because I would stay hung up on women like just sometimes for years and then I would knit I would completely take myself out the game it's just a bad way to go but after you waste a few years of your life being hung up on a few girls like this and it never goes anywhere you realize that's really a stupid idea I just want to win her from him so you're an approval seeking mindset in an alpha male can you imagine James Bond go I'm gonna win her no she's not available he's like next I mean he get killed tomorrow by the bad guys he follows his mission and his purpose in life and that's what you should be doing instead of running around like some imaginary white knight is gonna save this girl from herself I mean you really think about do you really want to be with a girl who would date a jealous insecure guy I think not she's admitted that she had feelings for me and the timing just didn't line up so I know I'm not grasping at air but at the end of day she's unavailable and it's just torture for you to continue hanging out with her when you're single and you want her and plus it interferes with your ability to meet somebody because you're taking yourself out of the game completely by staying hung up on her but in case I fail I want to keep our friendship intact if possible 20 years from now this girl probably won't even be in your life dude that's the reality of it are there things I can do and say to win her over thank you and have a great day well he definitely should review the book because you need to improve your skills read at 10 to 15 times get out there and apply it because right now you're like the sappy nice guide it's her back-up plan in case things don't work out the boyfriend there's no self-respect in the way that you're behaving and you're actually going to cause her to lose respect for you and what happens if you sit in you hanging around in a band then things go sideways to their boyfriend then you're just gonna be there for what happens is you get stuck in friendzone and you think I'm gonna finally get my chance and she's like well it's too soon I'm not ready and you buy that for six months or a year god knows how long and next thing you know you find out she's somebody dude you're thinking but I've been waiting all this time she's like you happen I'm just not feeling it because a man is not going to sit when a woman is unavailable he's like hey well if it doesn't work out getting touched me so what I would do if I were you is nothing I wouldn't call her I would just stop let her do 100 percent of calling texting pursuing from now on and if she reaches out she says hey let's get together I got to talk about law just say you know I really love you and I really care about you and I really value our friendship but I got feelings for you and you have a boyfriend and you've admitted that if things were different you'd want to see me and your boyfriend doesn't like the fact that we hang out and he will not doesn't want you hanging out with me unless he's there and it's just it's uncomfortable and quite frankly I want to find a girl who's single who's available and you can give me what want and the more time I spend with you I mean you're awesome you're great and you know I'm just I can't do it anymore so I think it's best at this point we just kind of have some distance between us so I can meet somebody you can focus on your relationship your boyfriend and if for some reason it doesn't work out get in touch with me I just can't do the friendship thing anymore it's just I got feelings and it's just it's too tough on me so I hope you understand so get in touch me if it doesn't work out and I'd love to see you we'll go out have fun and you see what an awesome guy which really doesn't work out does work out get in touch if it doesn't I got to run see you later bye so review the article seven principles get an ex back and then go from there and if you ever do hear from her create opportunity for sex tap invite her over to your place and make dinner together hang out have fun and hook up you obviously just spend enough time around her where she's comfortable with you so if she ever ditches the other dude and she reaches out that's the best thing that you can do she'll have more respect for you if you say it to or that way as opposed to just sitting around with a little puppy dog waiting for her to tell you what to do because if you sit around like a puppy dog dude you're going to be cute you like to pet you every now and then but no you're not going to get any poo sois that way my friend and plus if you start dating and interacting with other women you'll get some skills you get some practice and you'll improve your life so if she ever does reach out you'll be prepared because right now your skills suck that's the reality of it the only way they're going to get better is if you practice that means reading the book ten to fifteen times that means getting out there and applying it and learning these skills so that way if she ever does become single and she reaches out to you now you actually act like a masculine man does and that will create attraction because right now you're like a super duper beta male and you're not going to anywhere with that behavior dude and that's just the reality of it so let's go to the second guy's email says hey Cory I just want to give you a quick update on my current situation it's more showing my appreciation than needing help I would love to see you do a newsletter with my story to help my fallen friend zoned warriors and them know that your stuff works even when you up several times like I did and he did do a lot of up a lot of times he did the opposite of why I suggested or did maybe half of what I suggested but obviously with his latest success which we're going to see here in a second that these are kinds of things that incrementally build your confidence repetitions and mother of skill experience builds confidence and it builds wisdom but if you're not interacting with women how are your skills going to get better they're not you just stay the same after my walk away girl reached out again I set a FaceTime date like you recommended in my previous email they don't live in the same city there's a little bit of distance of all like I think he's from the in the US and she's in Europe I don't they were going to school together what it was but he's not in the country very much so what had happened in the previous emails he'd walked away because she was constantly trying to friendzone him keep him as a text buddy in all his and he finally put his foot down just said you're awesome and you're amazing but I'm just not interested in friendship and you know unless things change you know please respect my wishes and let me move on with my life he says I said a FaceTime date like you recommended in my previous email just to find out that she tried to friendzone me again well if you've been a big floppy in the past like this guy has been over the past several years and he's known this girl she's always been able to intimidate him and get him to cave because that's a happens of guys I think okay well maybe this time we'll be all right I'll just be nice all right I'll be the friend for a little bit and maybe things will change like no you just completely went back on your word when we want a man who says what he means it means what he says if you're a big floppy and you say one thing and you do another they're not going to trust your masculine core I was feeling down like hell but I did tell her again that I'm not interested in friends only or texting buddies and that she should only call again if she changed her mind that was really hard it took months and months for him to grow a set of balls to get to the point where he could say that to her and I've been tell him to say that all along and finally he put his foot down took him almost a year to do it but he finally did it better late than never I mean everybody's going at a different pace and that's fine but as long as you're making a little bit of progress the goal is to try to get a little better each day this guy took literally a whole year to get to the point raised that with this girl so there I was again friends owned by the girl I would love to have something romantic with all that after being on an emotional high because of her texting me and me having expectations and trying to get everything right I deleted every picture of her her number and unfollowed her on Facebook to make sure I can move on with my life as fast as possible what cool thing about Facebook is that you can unfollow some of these newsfeed you know unfriend them because they know I don't know what happened if you unfollow them they don't know any difference you just won't see the that they post in your newsfeed to be constantly reminded of them he says last week and I was traveling to my hometown in Germany because one of my relatives was going to get surgery and they wanted me to be there I used the time to go have dinner with my old friends and fate decided to let her run into me that night I was indifferent just like the situation you described in your book where you met that girl in the street on the way to a bar yep one examples in my book I just up so badly it's just like hey if she likes me she knows my number she knows how to get in touch she did Abbey mailing me and the rest well you'll just have to read the book to find that out I just waved to her said hi and went on having a good time with my buddies because I did decide that I would never again suffer because of her and that's why I talk about in countless emails that I've done over the years it's like sometimes guys are new situations where they work with girls or their friends or they're the same social circle if you see somebody that's friendzone you wave say hello be friendly then go about your business and that's what I teach in my book that's what I learn to do in it work the best it's not about being a dick to them it's just saying hey it was great chatting with you but I gotta run have a great night yes Turkish it's the complete opposite of what you always have done the idea is if you're focused on your outcome which is you want something romantic and all this person ever has for you is something platonic well quite frankly they're getting in the way of the romance that you want to create in your life so therefore I'm not interested in you're not going to say this but you're not going to be interested interacting with somebody who's just constantly offering you friendzone strongest negotiating positions being able to walk away and mean it and that's what he's doing he's being nice he's being respectful please not going on words I he's just like yeah just another person I know here yesterday the day before traveling back to the US I got a text from her saying that she was expecting me to call her or to text her after we saw each other of course she was it's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear and here you are you have a woman it's firmly said no way friendzone that's it forever and ever it's way it's gonna be and now he's living his life and doing his own thing and she's gone huh just like the girl I wrote about my book she had asked my friends how long I was going to stay in Germany and got afraid that I would not text her so she texted me the last night scarcity creates value you were a scarce resource and she second why he's no leave and not even call me or text me like what's the deal is you have a girlfriend what's going on cats are curious this is where mystery comes in being mysterious her not be remembered it it's a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear he's not being a dick he's not being manipulative he's just matter-of-factly already told her many times what he wanted and he's consistent with what he told her I'm not interested in being friends and therefore when he sees her he's nice to her but he's not wasting any time with her because the time that he waits for somebody it's offering something platonic is time that he could be spending with somebody potentially that could offer her him romance I told her that I think she is just not used to men doing what they say they would do and that for me no contact means no contact forever unless she was willing to explore something more than just friends then I went on with hey but I'm still in town tonight that text was about 9:00 p.m. after two more text exchanges she told me that she did not know about all this sex has to be the man's fault but that she already lost everything with me and she wanted to see me again that night so basically she realized I'm gonna lose you forever if I don't do something to shorten the story she rejected her girlfriend who was going to sleep in her house that night traction level cuts through everything she had plans and everything like well sorry I can't see you tonight gotta see so-and-so to hang out with me after I made it clear that I would only meet her if she dropped the just friends label and we could have a good time and see where it goes you see what's going on her because he was such a floppy for a couple years she's really trying a thousand different ways to get him to cave and agree to being friends he's like no she texts him he's like nope he sees her in public nope she's called him nope he at the last second here nope this is negotiation is great negotiators this is what they do like no these terms are not to my liking the strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it that means walking away forever that means no birthdays nothing as far as you're concerned that person is dead to you they don't exist anymore we had a great time ending with me spending my last hours in Germany making out in bed with her did you imagine just making out after a two years finally he's making out in bed with her after she said a couple years ago told one of his friends there is no way in hell I would date him or have anything romantic with him and he or she is making out inviting him over canceling plans with a girlfriend women vote with their feet if they're with you guess who they voted for and this moment I was thinking about her telling me she did not see me that way a few months ago and I remembered her best girlfriend telling my best friend two years ago that she would never get involved with me in any way never uh-huh then I thought about you mr. Corey Wayne the one that helped me to prove them all wrong finally having the feeling of being with someone I'm really excited to be with was awesome and felt so unreal at the end of the day it was all in your head and you had a operating system going around in your brain that was getting in the way of you achieving your outcomes you were sabotaging your own success and you didn't even realize that you were mind-fucking yourself and you didn't realize it you were mind-fucking yourself without a happy finish we kissed touch and I sucked on our tits and rubbed her sweet spot but I could not seal the deal completely Ayman always made a lot of progress he didn't read the book ten to 15 times and therefore he was not prepared what does Confucius say success depends upon prior preparation without said preparation there is sure to be failure he didn't know two steps forward one step back very well and therefore he even knows that he says I think I might have up the two steps forward and one step backward technique a bit because she invited me into her bed after we made out on the couch yeah that means we're about to have sex as long as you don't it up or talk me out of it I think I might have gotten laid that night if I knew the material a bit better you think he's a little bit of a slow learner but dude it's a great victory because I know not everybody's gonna be able to read the book one time and boom change everything around you go the key is to go at your own pace everybody's different everybody's at a different place everybody has different gaps and knowledge but all the kissing was initiated by me or me telling her to kiss me she was rubbing my back and mentioned a few times that she did not know how she would feel about all this today after sex has to be the man's fault it's confusing because she said nothing's ever going to happen in analysis and she's got all these feelings all these tingling is going on where'd that come from I never thought would happen I never thought it would go beyond friendship with you that confused me a bit but I focused on us having a good night as I started thinking about it on the plane I felt a bit insecure could it be that she just let me have what I wanted for one night in order to get her texting buddy back now dude you created attraction but you see his mindset it's not a positive uplifting one but these kinds of things here these kinds of events this that scrambles your brain this is the kind of that undoes all that negative programming that you've accumulated over your lifetime because even though you might believe one thing this is your experience you can't deny that you were sucking on those titties you can't deny that you were sucking face with her or that she reached out to you and did all the pursuing and invited you into her bedroom is that something women do or is this my limiting belief telling me I can't have something great without well obviously your limiting belief I will go back to Germany in January next year for three weeks she does not know that and now would like to have your last guidance to get it right nothing's going to change dude you're not going to Germany to see her you're going to Germany to see other people and she happens to find out that you're there she can get in touch with you remember at this point she has to earn another chance with you not the other way around and you were nice enough to come over to her house and all but the end of the day you didn't get any boosts wha you almost got close got second in the third base but you didn't get the home plate didn't score the home run but dudes a victory how should I go about it besides letting her do 100% of calling texting pursuing and making dates when she does that's it it's a simple formula again read the book 10 to 15 times do get prepared and practice with other women and learn seven principles again next back should I ask what she thinks about the last night we spent together or just ignore the mixed signals there is no mixed signals dude it was just you in your experience level once again thank you Cory for coaching me and I would definitely not talk about what she thinks about the other night because all that will do is could cause a little shy think something different hang out have fun hook up dude is a simple formula don't try to complicate it and don't try to look for reasons to it up and over complicate things because then you'll just really screw it up so if you'd like to get my help personally go to my website click the products tab the type your screen on any page of my website and just follow the instructions for booking whichever coaching option works best for you and I will talk to you soon

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 87,726

Rating: 4.9008522 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: sl4BlSPLfz4

Length: 30min 1sec (1801 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 23 2016