I Have No Idea What I'm Doing - Vacation Simulator: Back To Job (VR)

listen kid i know your first day at work can be real scary trust me this is like my 50th but maybe i could do you one better than teaching you how to use a whistle we've got pool supplies over here uh oh oh uh everyone out of the pool i think i just flushed like four people oh interesting that's really loud and annoying next i've got this life preserver i think it's meant to make you feel more alive but it's not working on me yeah a little late for that [Music] what's up guys welcome back to vacation simulator the kitchen is waiting human grab one of those passes and put it in the slot i know can i please just deliver my intro uninterrupted vacation you'll have to pick up a pass it's good to see you too vacation bot it's been a while your heartless floating being then put it in the slot to get started i swear to god if you interrupt me one more time i'm gonna pull that speaker out of your head and shove it up whatever you consider to be your butt like i was trying to say it's been over a year since i've rescued the vacation simulation destination but i figured i would return today because apparently there's a job for me to do like a job while on vacation i'm going to assume this is as close as we're going to get to job simulator 2 for a while so a pass to get started just grab one from the table so i'll take it so long as someone doesn't piss me off i don't suppose you'd like to explain what back to job actually means would you no you're all ears now okay well i'm gonna hit the giant yellow switch and if you get repurposed into some kind of garbage disposal then don't blame me please pick a pass the world of independent contracting awaits independent contracting huh uh who the hell are you gig bots the world of independent contracting awaits a refurbished model yeah i i could tell if you hit me with another control c control v then i'm gonna control x if you know what i mean so you want me to pick a pass and put it there and then i'm gonna become an independent contractor that's the part that i could use some explanation on but i guess we'll just figure it out as we go whoa human you made it you'll need to learn to talk to bots before we can continue please wave to accept our end human license agreement i know how to talk to robots okay i i just don't like to you guys give me heart palpitations sometimes i don't know if you really realize this but most of you are pretty well programmed to be a racist you do realize that you're currently telling me to virtually talk to the hand because the face doesn't give a damn right that's what i mean by abrasive i don't know if it's important for me to read this or not but like it's vr like this might as well be in size two font hieroglyphics i have no idea what a single word of this says sure and the nda nda this is a youtube video my guy like nothing we do here is gonna be secret for long what's the worst that could happen are you gonna virtually sue me for all my virtual money and the arbitration agreement oh you are going to virtually sue me for all my virtual money okay then well good luck finding a third party arbitrator who can divide by zero smart guy i i took this crummy job for a reason and it wasn't because i was bored around the virtual mansion and the contract determination agreement that being said i really don't want to lose this job uh okay how about i make my own claws in the contract real quick we could just do a little something like this cross some t's dotsomize this is what you get for skipping out on office supplies great we're good great job you can wave anytime you need to talk to bots okay i'm done reading the script can you read how i did i would absolutely love to i think you land somewhere around here oh you must have gotten it backwards the five star button is on the other end yeah we only do five star ratings at giggler i can tell we're gonna get along they'll stick around for a bit to guide you through your first gigs grab a gig ticket and let's get started oh i was gonna say what do you mean giggler but gig bot these are gigs because they're not jobs they're contract work they're gigs okay why would you go with gig oh yeah i guess giggler is the best option if you went with g-i-g-g-e-r that would have just been a closed-captioned demonetization waiting to happen it's a good job you chose the better of the two shitty options but juicy tunes next door still got you beat now don't you guys think for one second that i didn't notice our old friend fred working here how's it going fred's long time no see you look great is that new shell i guess that's about as close to a hawaiian shirt as you can get am i right oh you should probably know that the claws that i put into the termination contract are you listening hello oh you're going to ignore me now are you well i know you can hear me it was a crab clause it states that fred is responsible for everything anything that goes wrong it's on fred's okay he may be my little buddy but just he's easy to throw under the bus not that i would ever do that of course you just gotta contractually cover your ass kind of thing here you can be responsible for the phones for now i don't like talking to robots i gotta do something for you otherwise you're gonna keep giving me the cold shoulder you do have shoulders right uh maybe who cares wants me to pull a gig ticket okay time to get started here comes the first customer i need to catch up with the other beta omega taus give me a pineapple smoothie ooh okay um i have a pineapple not really sure how i'm gonna make it smooth for you uh oh there's a smoothie machine over there can i just okay so we'll drop you in and just pineapple we clearly gotta try putting something else in there i found this thing on the floor and i'm not really sure what it is might be some kind of sea cooter yeah we'll add some of that as well and then we're gonna do a little something like this okay yeah that's gonna have to be close enough oh i'm coming back ma'am just a second there we go and i'm gonna hurl it at your face very good human glad i didn't have to speak to your manager karen boss what human nice job serving your first customer as a reward from corporate here's your very own giggler backpack hmm well that's pretty cool for a second there i thought you saw that i put the floor cooter in her drink she had it coming though let's be perfectly honest i'm looking at that backpack so we can get moving yeah i know okay just give me a sec when you're ready pull another ticket we've got geeks to do so many gigs to do phones coming along and anything not nothing hello hi did you want to make an external call grab a ticket human it's time i think that was the operator there's an old british box it's time to get can you oh i was gonna say could you hand that back never mind fred's all over it thank you buddy okay uh another take another ticket more customers let's gig to it human me and my contractually obligated partner here finally took our first vacation oh thanks to you by the way hiding a ring and a sandwich you are too much we're finally here and we're looking for the best experience for our special honeymoon would you be so kind is to set us up with flowers in our room like you know with the phone to room service calm down calm down okay that that's enough for a second there when you say contractually obligated i thought you meant hooker and not wife i was gonna say you should get your money back uh they want me to bring up some romance i'm sorry have you seen where i work i i do like sunscreen and floor cooters not romance all too well uh this is technically on you everything is technically on you but i need to call out okay thank you for calling the giggler room service service if this is a prank call please dial zero if not please dial one hmm tough choice could you hit one for me fred's damn it please dial zero if you're looking for prince albert in a can please dial one uh did you want a prince albert ring that's about as close as i can get to romance for you sorry human i don't get this joke zero if you'd like to have a nice chat dial one oh i could have a nice chat you guys aren't going anywhere can i have that mustache does that come off oh just out of reach fine sorry human i don't have time to chat i appreciate the gesture so i'll send flowers to your guest's room now that we've got that taken care of would you take a picture of us to commemorate our parent programming every giggler backpack comes with a free camera just take it out and press the button all right here we go giggler backpack uh let's get a real good picture of you two say cheese there we go beautiful uh this is good stuff twenty dollars wonderful i'll remember this moment for eternity well i think we can close this visit with something sweet who do you agree sweetheart yes anything with chocolate listen between you and me i don't like the way she just said eternity you might want to keep an eye on your kidneys your ram whatever uh anything with chocolate anything with chocolate anything huh you really don't want to give me that kind of player agency uh how about uh yeah just a second i don't even know where we keep the chocolate i'm new here okay oh okay um probably not vegetable hey there we go um i love this is it just a bar or i'm gonna give you guys a chocolate sunglasses smoothie how about that oh crap crap crappy crap crap i know what i'm doing oh that's not the color i was expecting okay well this this has got chocolate in it and you said anything so don't be getting pissy oh that is so sweet it's just as sweet as you my darling you're such a lovey duffy this vacation is perfect offer my amazing cuddle bot let's go to our room i'm feeling like sharing my encrypted files with you ooh i didn't know you like to live so dangerously [Applause] [Music] she sounded like she had real wide encrypted files if you know what i mean can we please not have any swingers show up to the club anymore man it's freaking me out i was hoping we had fireworks down here so i could shoot them or a pic to lobotomize myself with but evidently not uh we have a pr was i supposed to be charging these people oops five stars my precious fuel since i drank this who cares do i care please help oh oh it's for the raiding things okay one star does not work with gradients upgrade oh i'm afraid five stars don't worry this is an imitation crab i knew you were a little liar not me five stars yeah best human that ever was that's right i like her we're gonna be friends with her okay it's the three of us all the employees and none of you live your life five stars at a time did you hack my watch because that's kind of a dick move be you be giggler yeah okay i'm gonna have to talk to my union representative all of us are ready to get back on the phone say what are you thinking what do you think get back over there no crawling away i'm keeping an eye on you [Music] after too long on vacation some guests just need a break from relaxation that's where golf comes in [Music] oh i can't believe the airline lost all my golf supplies all i have left are my clubs can you get me some golf supplies but first and foremost i need a silly hat a silly hat huh uh i think yeah we've got beach hats here but i could probably do better than that uh fred are you willing to take one for the team there you go but this that's for you no come on oh i'm real sorry about that red red oh there he is okay you get back on the phone i guess you're not technically a hat this this is our best hat though we call it the uh fuzzy testicle come on now it says that you give you a hat something fine i'll give you like a hat ass uh can i switch them or do i just have to take oh a regrow that's not terrifying it oh no get off my head get stop it stop it you get this one this is about yeah this is about as silly as it gets yes i'll need a ball check the computer for something ball shaped huh i tried to give you the fuzzy testicle and you wouldn't have any of it is this a computer how do you know more about my job than i do uh here you know what just just take this now there we go perfect and last i need a beverage you can't play golf without an ice cold beverage fair enough uh beverage would probably be over in the fridge yeah okay what should we give him battery acid grape juice oh we got like orange juice water some normal stuff here i'm gonna try honey if that doesn't work then we'll go with the backup of thick cream opened yeah there we go that's that's the good stuff hold on sir i'm i'm coming there you go nice and thick thanks now i'm ready to bar i've been pumping irons all day you've been a real birdie welcome oh yeah nothing like some cream on a hot day totally not a mistake i'm gonna leave that out for the next employee to come in okay let's do another i'm training you now but someday you'll train others let's see how that goes i'm trying my best here chief to be perfectly honest bringing the team together oh my god i'm totally out of my depth here i got this lifeguard gig but i'm just a contractor without any training can you help me they gave me this whistle but i don't know how to use it can you show me dude i'm in the same boat i have no sweet clue what i'm doing listen kid i know your first day at work can be real scary trust me this is like my 50th but maybe i could do you one better than teaching you how to use a whistle we've got pool supplies over here uh oh oh uh everyone out of the pool i think i just flushed like four people oh interesting that's really loud and annoying next i've got this life preserver i think it's meant to make you feel more alive but it's not working on me yeah a little late for that i keep blowing the whistle and people keep getting in the pool i feel like all this is doing is making the birds horny you are so gonna lose your job life's not going to preserve itself okay okay what do you want me to do with this just show you how it works okay you gotta do a little something like this little little ah gotta do better than that though okay okay i guess i do feel more alive okay i think i'm ready to go save lives but something was missing that white stuff on my nose do you have anything you could put on my nose i don't know if i have ice cream do i have ice cream could it be no you want a marshmallow on your face kids how about this hey it worked just like a real life guard thanks human i have to go save lives yeah you go get them skipper i believe in it pools pulls that way okay well i guess i'm not gonna be the deadliest employee here today not even the second deadliest some bots sell products to their followers by influencing social media algorithms i think they're called bot influencers never heard of them oh hey human i'm promoting products on my botstagram if you give me some free stuff i'll be sure to post about it maybe give you some exposure exposure awesome since the end of capitalism exposure has been the only currency with value uh yeah so give me some stuff i'm sorry when did capitalism end i i got a grave to dance on right now good to know uh three free things i can give you a swift kick in the ass for free i don't know about anything else um what do we got oh um i i have a lightly used marshmallow it was on a kid's nose oh i like that but i'm gonna need more stuff if i'm going to endorse this resort worse if the traffic my posts bring to places like this i know what if i took those glasses there we go and then we just gave them back good good keep it coming i'm working on it hold on i'm trying not to lose the screen because if i lean in oh it gets dark oh it's so dark oh there we go i got the phone here this do you want to hear expose that okay that'll work thanks for the free stuff i'll be sure to use this on my vacation contact my manager they should get back to you within four to six months about that promotion bye bye i hope she drowns what was that really exposure i had better not getting paid in exposure so help me christ i know i'm not charging anyone for anything but i just assumed this was like an all-expenses-paid resort or something often gig workers are obligated to listen to customers problems in order to maintain a high rating what was that i couldn't hear you over the whistling sorry continue smoothie make it snappy won't you my screenplay just got auctioned so i need to start the sequel yeah you know what that's uh that's a two-minute penalty for being a douchebag a lettuce and tomato smoothie yuck um that's not what you get are you a vegan because you're getting meat you're getting all the meats how about a frozen hot dog smoothie that sounds like something special not even gonna get rid of the ice that way you can get like hot dog hot dog water it's a little bit of everything yes hot dog three pack smoothie that's what i'm talking about okay i'm coming uh a little bit light on the lettuce whole lot of tomato it's kind of my thing rude so he absolutely has to have lettuce and tomato but then we might be able to sneak the hot dog water in if i could get all three just gotta carefully never come on now that's the good stuff yeah i can hear you excited about that okay whoa boy that that's a delicious color you know nothing's ever brown and bad tasting well i used to go by barista bot but now everybody calls me moviebot because i'm in the industry oh let me get a hot dog on that drink i've got a lot to celebrate oh i'm one step ahead of you you already got three hot dogs on that drink [Music] i can't believe it's the same dude i should have known by the glasses no one's dumb enough to wear those glasses except for you unbelievable okay well um i i should be able to to make hot dogs right why are these not thawed this is clearly not a refrigerator it's like 40 degrees out uh on there we go oh okay okay oh crap uh buns buns what kind of bun did you want just a regular bun regular ah oh come on come on yes i knew fish would eat hot dogs okay well then that means this last one goes to you and we should be square oh it's from the studio i must take this that was my producer the studio rejected my features so i'm back to the grind burger to my order to get records yes i love it okay get you a burger don't you worry about it i'm all over it i left the stove on not good burger burger burger burger burger burger um yeah a little something like this do i need to like put actual stuff in the burger that does not look at all the same hopefully good enough it's a burger [Music] am i supposed to mop that up you know i think that's gonna be it for this episode of vacation simulator guys and it feels good to be back not just playing vacation simulator even though it's one of my favorite games for vr but just vr in general you know i know a lot of people don't know why i stopped playing for a while because they don't follow me on twitter when you should at the captain sauce you know that's where i mention these kind of things but i've had knee problems i've had back problems i've had controller problems this piece of crap is broken it's got like a card sticking out of it and it doesn't really work but i don't need it all that much for this game and i had anterior uveitis i almost lost my eye kind of just real freaky stuff it means i can't have a big sweaty headset on but i'm hoping to return you know if you guys want to see more as always be sure to like this video let me know and i'll return to hate another robot like i i just want one fun companion just one time i think too much watching his video i hope you enjoyed and i'll see you next [Music] time [Music] you

Channel: CaptainSauce

Views: 592,813

Rating: 4.9553218 out of 5

Keywords: vacation simulator, vacation sim, vacation simulator vr, vacation sim vr, job simulator, job simulator vr, back to job, vacation simulator back to job, vacation simulator back to job dlc, vacation simulator back to job expansion, vacation simulator funny moments, vacation simulator funny, back to job vr, back to job gameplay, back to job playlist, back to job funny, back to job funny moments, back to job ep 1, back to job part 1, captainsauce, captain sauce

Id: azetrEhDILE

Length: 26min 0sec (1560 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 11 2020