I Dont Like Guessing Ages...(Stand Up Comedy SPECIAL)

I don't know she was like 94 it I don't know I don't like guessing women's ages because I'm a genius I'm not stupid it's a trap ain't it yeah you won't guess woman's there especially someone younger they flip out you could be closer to their age they still flip out we like we like 25 all the women as long as you within the same century they're fine I don't even care anymore you'd be like after the moon landing you thought man and dudes we try to act like we don't care a rap week here I know I care I know I'm getting older right I know I'm getting older cuz when I was younger people used to tell me all the time don't worry about a preacher you've got your whole life ahead of you you know they tell me now you still got time that's I guess there's one whose age it's not know didn't care about your agency being guests because I went to the bathroom and I guess his dudes okay well let me explain that defendant I'm just not kicking down doors how old are you and I'm not doing that right I was what happened was I went to use restroom because I drank a coffee that you know earlier that day I don't know if y'all drink coffee but I don't normally drink coffee and when I do I feel great I'm like man I'm so energized and I feel alert and I just why don't I drink more coffee and then my booty is like this is why snuck up on me and I went the bathroom I was like you know me you ever do like you got a sauce on your like I gotta go to the bathroom right I went to the bathroom and it was weird because I went to the difficult to a public restroom II you're not gonna start a seal someone's in there right I'm not gonna starve the guy inside sir this open [Applause] I don't know what he expected me to do scoot on over like it was so I went to the next stop right and I went you're next you ever go to like use the bathroom and you think you only got a pee and then you get there your body's like nah son we got more work to do and not a story that bathroom I couldn't breathe for 11 seconds I lost brain cells likewise my arm in the toilet it was so big anyway so when I got there it was the automatic toilet right I hate automatic automatic anything I hate how to make toilets hey I make light source - why do you laugh automatic lights in the bathroom doesn't make any sense you're beating the bathroom getting your groove on and the lights just shut off you're throwing toilet paper in just get this thing go off and so annoying and this stupid automatic toilet people like them or they flush automatically old cool you don't know when okay all right it's like Russian Roulette for your booty I don't like that right so I'm your ever good autumn actually you like man I finally got a good one I can move a little bit I just get a better squeeze and then the toilets like I'll snap are you getting enough from the toilet this is a bidet at this point you know that was so ignored so I use the bathroom I'm walking it out walking out to wash my hands so I'm not a nasty right actions cuz someone else in the bathroom because about by myself and you bout to leave so I seem like I gotta wash my hands now so they don't know yeah I just play always one man anyway so um I'm walking out to wash my hands and then the dude in the other stall he's just kind of slides out the bathroom well what does this do doing so like read them I was like hey man how are you grown man he goes I'm doing great it's my birthday that was weird but happy birthday sir how old are you he's still grown at this point he goes guess how old I am I'm like waiting on backup dancers to pop out the other stars at this point guess how old he is I guess the old you I'm not dumb dumb that dump all right someone looks like they're over 50 guess what this is this is a tight jacket all right anyway so he's like guess how old I am I'm not dumb if you look like you're over 50 guess what I do I guess 10 years younger to make you feel good I'm gonna guess 5 I guess 10 years younger I lied he looked like he was around 50 so that how old are you sir we let Oh No 40 or something then he was like hey you know and I was like oh like what do you eat cigarettes like why do you look like that you look so how many kids you have he's like 11 I was like that's why you look like that did you ever see anybody with a bunch of kids but they look amazing it's cuz they don't take care of their kids okay not stress now like my dad probably look the same age as me because I never met him so he probably looks like 28 that's where that you clap for that Brett that's kind of weird I don't care some of y'all grow with some people grow with two sucky parents right I grew up with one amazing mom so I feel blessed man yeah is she crazy a little bit but uh you don't be crazy to raising four kids like I used to hate my dad growing up I'm like when I see him my punch him in his face I hate him can't believe he left then after a while I was like I get it I got why he left not even mad he left now I'm mad at take me with him I'm like you know

Channel: PreacherLawson

Views: 3,595,032

Keywords: old, get to know me, Netflix, Netflix is a joke, bet, bet plus, bet +, Tyler perry, clean, silly, new, hbo, showtime, Joe Rogan podcast, mma, uprise mma, snickers, fine, special, Theo von, chris, bert, shirt off, boom, bam, viral, agt, americas got talent, preacher lawson, the champions comedian, old vs new, old vs new bollywood mashup 2020, bet networks, bet awards, bet awards 2019, america's got talent, americas got talent comedian, bet plus app

Id: JWm1kgrTICg

Length: 5min 56sec (356 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 24 2020