(electricity buzzing) - I'm not shallow, but you know, I don't think God made ugly creatures. Just some of the creatures he made, I don't like looking at too much. That's-
(audience laughing) That's kind of how I feel. And know where you are. You know, everybody grow up looking to know where they fit in. You know, when you grow up you try to see, when you're young in school, you see when you fit in, you
look at the cutest people in the class, you be like,
woo, I ain't where they at. You know what I'm saying? That's my aspirations. I have aspirations to get there one day. I may grow into it. (audience laughing) I always thought I was regular, like average in the middle. School got a way of reminding- You ever like letting you
know you was the ugly kid. Anybody was the ugly kid growing up? Y'all still in denial. Oh, look at you. I like that. You still like it's okay. 'Cause you cute now. So, you know. 'Cause people act different. Same people you see, they see you like, (screaming) "Oh what happened?" You don't even like, "Nothing happened." They be like, "What happened? You got money? You got plastic surgery or something?" (audience laughing) I didn't know I was an ugly kid. I was walking around. I thought I was cool. I thought I was in the middle. I thought I was regular. That's what my mama used to
tell me. I'm like, I look good. She'd be like, "You regular, you okay." (audience laughing) I thought she didn't
want me to be arrogant. She's like, "You regular." I like, hi ma, I look cute?
"You regular, you regular." That's what she used to tell me. There's this girl named Ebony Eddington. I like Ebony Eddington. Ebony Eddington was fine. You know what I mean? She was just basic,
but she was fine to me. You know what I'm saying? She had the little bun
and I could smell her gel. She used to use the
Jam with the green top. Black people know that, the Jam. You could smell her Jam. My cousin used to use the
Jam like, ooh, she got she got a little, little baby hair a little y'all know
y'all put the ponytail. And then it's the little
accessory on your face. It's like the little twirls right here. You be like, "Ooh she
got the little twirls, little baby hair." So I used to like Ebony. Ebony put me in a friend zone early quick in elementary school. I run into her. I'm grown and you don't ever
forget your first crush. You see them, you instantly, your heart recognizes them. Your heart says, I remember her. She was my first love. Even though it wasn't
reciprocated, I felt it. (audience laughing) It was something my heart felt. So I instantly noticed her. I said, "Ebony, Ebony Eddington, what? Ebony!" And she's like so confused. Like it made me feel like I
was like a rapist or something. She's like, "Excuse me." I was like, "No, no it's me." She's like, "Who? I don't. I'm so sorry. I don't,
I don't remember you." I'm like, "We went to school together. It's me, Barry." She like, "Barry?" It's like, "N*gga we went
to school for eight years. From kindergarten to eighth. Like you don't remember?" She's like, "The only Barry
I remember is ugly Barry." (audience groaning) It's okay. I don't know him. I don't know him. I never met him. So I'm like, "Oh, that
must be somebody else. I'm Barry Brewer." She's like, "Oh my God, ugly Barry! Oh my God. Wow. Look at you. They said God do miracles, it's true. You did grew into your face. You used to be ugly, oh my God." She don't know that she's offending me. She thinks she's giving me a compliment. She like, "You look good. Oh my God, you done grew into your face." I'm like, "How do you
grow into your face?" Was my skin sagging? And my face filled out. How do you accomplish that? She thinks she compliment me but I'm getting more upset inside because who's calling me
this and I didn't know? (audience laughing) 'Cause this is obviously a thing. So I'm in my feelings, fellas, you ever be in your feelings but you can't really show it, you know? She like, "So how you been?" She touchin' me. I'm like, "I'm cool." Know when your girl touch
you, but you irritated. You don't wanna be touch you
like, "I'm cool. I'm good. I ain't really feeling all the affection. I'm alright. I'm alright. What's up?" No, you good, you good. I'm just sore, yeah. No, no, I'm good, yeah. She's like, "Oh my God. What's going on?" So she like low key trying to flirt and I'm not interested at this point. She's like, "So what's
going on, you taken?" I was like, "Oh yeah I'm taken." She's like, "Oh, what's her name?" I was like, "Ugly
Jasmine, that's her name." (audience laughing) We gonna have some ugly kids
and live happily ever after. - [Audience Member] Jasmine's cute! - Jasmine is cute, thank you. That's really nice, I know. It was a joke. (audience laughing) Call back from earlier, it's okay. (electricity buzzing)
