I Created The Ultimate Duck Out Of Pure Laziness

today's gonna be a pretty good day because we get to combine torture with evolution but then again they're basically the same thing so we're gonna start in the amateur league and see how badly we can break this to begin we have zero dollars and zero skills however we can fix this because this is in fact a running duck so running is gonna be what we're gonna focus on well they say running but it's more like jumping but you get the idea either way it's gonna be a bad day for this little duck and we crashed right as we hit 5 miles an hour because my face was itchy but the speed does increase the further we go so i am curious to see just how fast we can make this idiot run and then it's tricky because sometimes the duck holds still when he lands but sometimes he starts jumping forward and you don't really know when that's gonna happen and that makes it very hard to time things but a few half-hearted tries later i'm already run level 18. i'm not sure what that maxes out but we're going to find out but good news i've determined how the auto run thing works as i crash into the ball it's if your duck falls back to this part of the screen he has to run because he'll go out of frame if he doesn't and believe me if i lose track of this duck if he gets off the screen i am not bringing him back so i've already hit level 50 and i can't learn any more from this training game but jokes on it i can't learn anything at all but while we're at it let's feed him some pinksies and see how much he likes those and then even some yellow ones because we're gonna need energy to win the races i'm generally not one for feeding my animals but when they can make me some money it's probably worth it for me in the long run so let's see if our idiot is ready for an amateur race yet he's only good at running everything else he's absolutely horrible at so i feel like he's gonna be the first one to the water then probably struggle a little bit yup look at him go he's like a rocket and he drowned whenever he has life insurance do i get some money for like the body okay so swimming training looks like that this one you have a little more control you can go up down and even side to side so i can screw up in even more ways than ever before i should probably mostly just focus on getting lots of money because my duck seems to do not great without energy but he also just doesn't do great in general being that i'm in control of him we are cruising up to a modest 23 miles per hour so far so that's not bad 28 miles per hour we're picking up speed i wonder if it just endlessly gets faster and faster because that could be a lot of fun we've officially broke 30 32 even and we tried to go under an iceberg and after forcing this idiot duck to swim for 100 miles we're now at level 50. he still hasn't drowned but we did make 78 coins which kind of made me wonder what exactly are these seeds this isn't training this is just buying him stuff that he puts into his body and i'm perfectly okay with that if i could train less in his do more steroids well that's just easier i just need to find a way to make lots of coins our energy should be over 20 by the time we feed them the yellow stuff and then with two skills at level 50 plus 21 energy is that gonna be enough who knows is he gonna drown who cares and he's pulling away from the competition very quickly the finish line is right there we used up about half of our energy to get there congratulations you won now go win all the other races well just give me the money and i certainly will are we up to the task of race two it looks like we're going to start with flying but we do get a few steps in first and i'm very good at stepping thanks to my forced abuse of this duck but he also flies kind of like a rock but if he touches the ground first he might actually win nope it would be great if we didn't have to train all of his skills because that's a lot of skills to work with but let's see what flying's all about because as we learned before you can basically just fly him into the wall again and again and it's so successful though maybe we can work on every skill except climbing he doesn't have to be a good climber if he's really good at everything else so here's what i'm gonna do for flying i'm gonna let him fly each and every time just like this eventually he's either gonna hit the water or a wall at which point everything's gonna restart naturally because i have an auto clicker so i don't even have to be here for this part he's gonna train himself and if he manages to collect a coin or two along the way even better and here we go after flying my duck into the wall a few more times level 50. we didn't make a lot of money but we did make enough to get him just a little bit more steroids and that brings his energy up to 26 so let's see if we can win the next race and given that it's largely flying and a little bit of running i think we're going to kill this one safe to say we won that one so what's the final then probably just a combination of the two so we don't need climbing yet those idiots stand no chance i'm a performance-enhanced duck there is however a little bit of climbing but i think he's so good at everything else that it's not going to matter at least i hope it doesn't because i've already got the climbing out of the way and now i can continue to pull way ahead of them i ran out of energy i thought i passed the finish line that was right there the duck needs more steroids i think the fastest way to earn money is going to be flying mostly because you can go very quickly and eat a bunch of coins in a big hurry and there's another 56 coins so that means we could buy three and a half purples that will hopefully push his energy up to where we need it it's now 35 which means he should actually cross the finish line we made it with about 20 of our energy left still didn't get a monetary reward for that but we can move on to the finals as long as my idiot doesn't have to climb anything i think we're gonna have a pretty healthy win though those other ducks are not as bad as i thought but when it comes to raw foot speed nothing compares to my duck he's gonna climb anyway just to show off his skills wouldn't mind some money for some of these i need to buy my performance enhancers for my idiot this one's making me nervous because it starts with a climb i'm probably faster than them everywhere else but maybe not by enough to make up for this little gap though i am gaining on them and we do get to fly uh but by then it's too late so yeah unfortunately we're gonna have to teach this idiot how to climb and that simply means jumping back and forth collecting coins or maybe just ramming his head into the roof until he levels up yeah this is fun and all but it's a lot easier to use my auto clicker to do all the work and then i can just buy him all the steroids he wants i don't know how long it's going to take to hit level 50 like this but i don't care as long as i can get away with doing very little work i'm happy and my very lazy strategy has yielded me level 50 climbing and one coin so we're gonna spend our vast fortune on seeds and then we can finally win race two that's some better climbing now we can weigh run the other ducks and this will be an easy win as i suspected not even close and that just leaves the finals which hopefully has a monetary reward but i'm definitely the fastest duck of this bunch i'm gonna get to the top of the hill first he's not necessarily a natural or flier that's probably because he smashed into so many walls but it's still good enough to stay ahead and if he didn't want to hit so many walls he shouldn't have let me fly him this one's even going to involve a bit of swimming look at that energy i had like 10 left by the end need more steroids and are idiots evolving finally he has legs now he has one leg he's a head on a leg that means he could enter the advanced league new training facilities that's all i need to know maximum level of 100. so here we go again i'm pretty much just going to do this again and again and he falls over hopefully he can get hurt despite this one enormous leg he has he still doesn't jump any higher all right well back to my lazy strategy to level this idiot up you know it's kind of curious when i use the auto clicker he doesn't actually touch the ground i'm pretty sure he can jump right over top of other things so that's kind of interesting he's definitely jumped on top of some of the other balls and not died from them and coins oh well this is actually a very unfair advantage i didn't realize this would happen but i am pleasantly surprised i just have a natural talent for ruining things that one was actually doing so well i made it all the way to the front of the screen just hopping over everything like the conqueror that i am and our strange and lazy strategy got us to level 100 very quickly and gave us 37 more coins which means another few batches of steroids and we're obviously gonna need a lot more thanks to all this added mass and it looks like we now get fired out of a cannon instead to start and we've gotta navigate through narrow buildings uh which of course we're not going to do we're just to fly into the buildings because it's easier and also a lot more amusing because i'd really rather just be lazy there is flying level 100 and some pretty major brain damage plus we have an even 15 to spend on steroids again and that brings us to swimming which we should be able to do pretty well now thanks to these big long legs of ours i still feel like that would be pretty awkward swimming but that just makes it all the better i just realized that i made zero coins that entire time and i made it to level 100. there are no performance answers for idiot so that just leaves our new climbing which is pretty much the same as old climbing just with a different skin and it is no doubt a little bit more challenging than before but that's not going to make a difference because i am just going to use my auto clicker to do all the work for me it's just so much easier when you don't have to care about your duck that was fast one coin collected 35 total coins level 100 all they did was run that duck into the wall a thousand times not sure if he's going to have had enough energy to get through these races but he will certainly have their skills because look at those legs and the other ducks maybe haven't evolved in the same way as me but to be fair they probably have considerably less brain damage than my idiot but look at those legs work they contend no chance against me and yeah i clearly have more than enough energy struggled a little bit getting out of the pool but don't we all so far he's making all of these races look incredibly easy he's just gonna hop his way straight to the finish line look how quick he climbs now gotta be all in the legs but that's maybe because my duck is basically made out of legs there's more leg than duck and that's an easy victory that's the qualifiers and now for the finals but i can understand why the other ducks can't look up look at their legs in comparison they're literally made out of lines and my duck is just pure leg and there's the finish line we didn't win by as much as i would have liked but that's okay because look how good my duck looks in the final race the other ones are actually doing not bad but this is the final race so they gotta have learned a little bit along the way no matter what this should be an easy win for my doc and he's gonna finish with about half his energy left also but we're still gonna spend every cent we have giving him extra steroids and he's evolving again hopefully i get more legs oh we grew arms what do we need arms for well longer tracks max level 150 new training facilities i don't want arms though well at least the training happens a little bit faster they even took us into the jungle for some reason this is kind of odd but i think this is easier than the first two stages because nothing is coming towards me really i'm moving towards it and it makes it a lot easier i may not even have to use the auto clicker on this one i could probably get to level 150 just on a single run we're up to 33 miles an hour i didn't mean to clip that we got 15 levels there though i was doing so good until i started talking all right well i had a good run but i'm gonna let the auto clicker take it from here you think of anything this would be better training because that's gotta be hard on the legs if you can jump that much for a few hours on end you got a pretty strong leg and strangely enough the auto clicker actually works very well for this he's literally just hopping over everything he finds so he might actually just go endlessly okay and at this point the auto clicker is officially better than i am because we're up to 35 miles per hour and he's still going strong okay never mind it took us to 37 miles per hour but that's still pretty impressive considering i didn't have to do anything and just imagine what his brain is going through right now after being smashed into a wall repeatedly for the past hour now it's jumping up and down repeatedly and getting sloshed around in that big old bucket of his and this way he's also collecting pretty much every coin on the map and we've got 150 total coins now and we hit level 150 so that all works out very well so lots of steroids for him he earned it and that's probably also going to do wonderful things for his brain all right let's see if we can ruin flying next lying here obviously starts at very high speed and if you actually go straight down the middle it seems like at least at first you avoid absolutely everything but until you start running out of speed but then we'll crash him into the ocean because there's seven levels and i did literally nothing but we're going to stick to what we know best and that's basically doing nothing that time it happened so fast the duck actually got lost under this screen somehow so that was definitely pretty interesting i just flung them straight down the middle again just for fun to see how far it would go and we're up to level 125 already and i did nothing well that didn't take long at all level 150 42 more coins which means a little bit more steroids for the good duck it's not even really a duck anymore though it's like a man with a duck's head and swimming has taken an interesting turn it starts us in a cave where he torpedoes into the ground very quickly without getting much skill at all so i might actually have to try something here unfortunately it looks like i'm actually gonna have to play this one so i've gotta navigate the duck carefully through the cave and that's gonna actually take a little bit of skill and that kind of sucks for me because that's one thing that i'm definitely lacking and the hardest part about this is i can't really slip past obstacles like i can and some of the other ones if i so much as touched the darkness i'm out with a lot of the other ones you could actually just kind of bounce over obstacles without much effort at all and that's why my auto clicker could get away with so much well we powered through level 150 got zero coins collected but that's okay because i could be done with swimming now it is left with good old-fashioned climbing he's getting pretty intimate with that wall though so i'll let him enjoy this one while still smashing him into the roof as many times as i possibly can but at least you get some enjoyment out of this but the best part about this one is i can be lazy again and use my auto clicker this erotic adventure led us to level 150 and 43 coins which means a few more steroids and then i think we're ready to race after spending my final 13 on the cheaper steroids so let's see how the qualifiers are gonna go and already i like the look of this it's not a standard race we've gotta fly through the air and we're very aerodynamic it seems and considering we have a natural disadvantage to flying that's a good sign because once we hit the water those legs were palaced in new heights and i used up like 10 of my energy so that bodes well that one is pretty much just a motorboat race so obviously i'm gonna win and then we basically fly into the water and motorboat our way to the end at which point we're pretty much gonna run everything because we actually have legs unlike my stupid competitors this one's just unstoppable now he's going past everyone at an alarming rate but the race isn't done yet we've used about sixty percent forty percent of our energy with sixty percent left so that was the qualifiers uh if those are any indication then uh my duck is going to be the superstar the ultimate duck brought to you by evolution and laziness and so far he is very much leaving the other ducks far behind because he's definitely better running and swimming so as soon as it involves any of those he gets all the room he needs this one's called the cliff so i assume there's going to be a lot of climbing but even then he's about as good as the more natural climbers that one was a little closer than i would have liked luckily the final race should incorporate everything so that's less climbing and more of this stuff he's good at usually the final race is like a 1v1 there's my old duck we give him brain damage too he didn't get legs though so far the other ducks are keeping up that one's kind of jacked he also has legs but they're not as long as mine that's where the running comes in i got that good stride and that looks like another victory for us an otherworldly portal has appeared i wonder where it goes do we get to uh re-evolve the layer of the ultimate racer as you travel you feel yourself evolve i is now a supreme duck i right i guess we didn't want legs anyway now we have fish fins wings and a spiky haircut so just the final race now i guess watch out for his army of domo uh okay we gotta click on those as we get to them don't worry doc you're in good hands as indicated by my training all day giving your brain damage i possibly couldn't let any harm get to you we get to explode things along the way though that's kind of fun can i just use the auto clicker and be lazy one more time yeah there we go nothing's going to get past that auto clicker oh unless there's something up top at which point he's boned is the auto clicker gonna get that one well yeah we're gonna have to move it a little bit but at least i have to do less cooking i think we're probably gonna win this it even told me i'm the ultimate duck so i have full confidence now even this poor brain damage duck can accomplish great things in life thanks largely to performance-enhancing drugs this is a long race so i'm glad we didn't have to have any energy for this because i probably would have ran out ages ago i just have these little brown weirdos trying to stop me all along the way and to celebrate my victory i literally murdered everyone including my competitor which is a pretty good way to celebrate we unlocked the throne room and an arcade and a high score training game yeah we're definitely going to go for a high score considering i did the absolute laziest way possible 500 000 coins is nice though you want 500 000 worth of steroids well that's what we had to work with today so i guess we'll just take our 500 000 coins and spend them on

Channel: DangerouslyFunny

Views: 1,282,407

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Id: EMitJHRDU_o

Length: 15min 18sec (918 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 30 2021