How to Write Description That Immerses Your Reader

we're sisters best friends and authors on a mission to help you stoke your creative fire and live the life of your dreams we believe that purpose fuels passion and that creativity is your secret weapon for mass construction there's never been a better time to bless the world with your dream realized you're listening to the kate and abby show what's up guys welcome back to another episode of the kate and abby show today we're talking about a big topic a topic that many writers struggle with which is writing description how to nail your descriptions and create vibrant colorful meaningful and intriguing descriptions that move the story forward and that matter basically to your story right we want to write descriptions that matter so that every single moment of your story is engaging to your reader it's not just we're trying to get through this description to get to the good stuff right you never want your reader to feel that way so we are going to tackle this topic today how to write description in such a way that makes your reader engaged constantly with the story and also helps them to like unravel new layers of your story as they go um and to see things in your description so that you can show your reader rather than tell them what to feel and how to think about these characters and what's going on so obviously it's a huge topic and we're going to break it down into different sections today and discuss those sections just like our favorite techniques and methods for nailing your descriptions and making every moment of your story engaging so we're going to dive into that in a minute but first we have to thank our sponsors who are you guys you are the ones who support this show and keep it going and we so appreciate your help and your support so if you get value out of this podcast go to patreon.com the kate and abby show and help us keep this show alive and free of interruptions okay so let's let's dive straight into it um the very first and probably most important tip that we can offer you guys is to it is kind of like a a principle of descriptions really which is that when you are describing something and i've talked about this on my channel before when you're describing something you are bringing the reader's focus to that one thing you're almost like zooming into it you know and like cropping everything else out is uh one way to think of it that's a that's a good way to make it actually yeah because unlike in film when you're writing all the reader can focus on is exactly what you're saying yes just then that one has an opportunity to look at something else or focus on something else they're focused in on that one sentence that they're reading and so you have to ask yourself is this where i want them to be focused because i'm the one directing their focus here as the author you know what i mean right exactly yeah so true and and you can use that as a tool not as a limiter so so don't think of it as like oh now i have to focus on you know when i write a line about something it's it's bringing the reader's attention to that one thing but i want to paint this larger picture you can still paint a larger picture and it's all through really style and pacing i would say um and it's obviously it comes what comes into play here is is character voice as well but we're gonna get into that in a minute first imagine your description is visual so like let's say you're describing a very particular element of a scene like you're writing a scene where your main character walks into a room picks up a piece of mail on their table that came in well you know maybe while they were out somebody else brought the mail in and they see a letter that's addressed to them and they know who it's from and you are describing what the surface of the what the front of the letter looks like and maybe the handwriting and maybe some scuff marks on the envelope now we are very zoomed into that that image if you could take that description and make it an image a picture you would be zoomed into that one thing right and so you don't necessarily want to bring the reader's focus then to um well the room is filled with morning sunlight and the kettle is on the stove and the cat is sleeping on the windowsill does any of that matter really because if the character is going through something emotional here while they pick up this letter that's to them they know who it's from and it's a more of an internal moment where your character's feeling something and engaging with a particular part of their world then do we need to describe other parts of their world in this moment right exactly so not not saying that you shouldn't but that's the question that you should ask yourself for sure because if we start describing the tea kettle and the cat and the sunlight our attention now goes to those other pictures exactly you know um and this is of course a very basic like fundamental rule of writing but not a lot of writers like um stop to ponder it like right because you are trying to describe everything that's going on you know you're like okay well i need to set the mood but really ask yourself the mood isn't just set by the physical things in the physical setting especially if it's an emotional scene you want to be focusing more like you were saying on the internal conflict not so much on the mood and it really doesn't take many words to describe a setting either there you really don't need much to quickly set the scene of where they are maybe just saying the room is sunlit rather than describing the way the sun is coming through the window describing the cat sitting on the windowsill describing the kettle going you know i walk into the sunlight kitchen okay and that now us we as the reader get to kind of decide what that looks like rather than having every single piece sort of painted out for us right yeah and i find sometimes it's a fun challenge just to challenge yourself to like how can i describe this with as few words as possible like i try to do that depending on the character voice and stuff it really depends but a lot of times i try to think you know what is really going on here how can i describe this in as few words as possible and paint still a vivid picture and this is something that you and i have discussed a lot that you see in screenplays which is actually our second point on on our list here is to study screenplays and films but especially how screenplays are written because a lot of times um screenplays are strategically written in such a way that you're not going into huge descriptions even though in the um finished product of the film you will have very rich settings and moods and lighting but that's more of something that happens in more of the artistic development as the film comes together as far as setting and lighting and set design and stuff like that but the writing aspect the screenplay itself oftentimes has very short to the point descriptions you will never read a screenplay that has at least one that's been like green lit for film you'll never read a screenplay and encounter huge long long descriptions because that's not the point of a screenplay a screenplay's point is to paint enough of the picture that we can convey this idea to another creative individual who can then help to put the picture together um and to express that and illustrate that and so what i find really interesting especially if you're watching or reading screenplays after you've watched the film that it's for um is to notice how the screenwriter used very few words to describe something extremely visual you know and how you still have that visual image even without all the description right it's really interesting um and i talked about this one time in a video on my channel that's about pacing in description definitely check that one out because this that's a great companion to this video but in that video i talk about um i mentioned the screenplay of dunkirk the film dunkirk and i think i've mentioned on the podcast too and it inspired me because the first line of that screenplay is painting the picture of the opening scene and all it says is papers falling like snow and then continues to describe what the street looks like but i thought that's such a cool short and sharp description that just immediately puts you there i mean you can see it right right and that's what you want your reader you want your reader to see it and me and you always talk about how what you really want a description is a short sharp description that's like ah that's how i've always wanted to describe that thing and just didn't know the right words yeah you know what i mean that feeling of like that is the way to describe that yeah it's only a few words it's and usually it's not the most accurate way to say that it just hits home rather than the longest way to say it more isn't always necessarily better with description less is more typically yeah it's very true um and to that point the next item on our list is to use description like seasoning which i love that i love that because it really is you know it's it's seasoning it's not something that you want to pile on your your story because you want to use it to enrich what's happening not to distract from it especially since as you guys know i talk about this all the time story is not about what happens it's about how it happens effects and transforms the characters so that's about internal journeys right what is the internal journey that your character is on and how can we emphasize that through description exactly yeah and as far as setting the mood because i think that might be something that a lot of writers think well you know how do i describe the fact that it's like you know a rainy stormy day and you know they're sitting in the library and the fire's crackling and it's like really dark academia and i want to get that feeling across for that scene well think of what is what is this the sharpest way you can describe that and only describe it when you are setting the mood because that's when it matters think about when does this matter okay it matters when they first walk in now what we can encounter a lot in various writing that i've seen anyway is that we start and i've been guilty of this in my own writing is we start describing it we just we set the mood we describe it when the character first comes in we understand that the fire's crackling that the rain is patterning against the window and now we set into dialogue okay we as the reader already know the setting and then in between dialogue here and there it's like the fire snaps the rain patterns against the window the wind is blowing outside we already know all these things right and now it's now what's happening and of course there's places to sprinkle that in like we're saying seasoning but when we mention it too much what it actually starts to do is slow down the progression of the scene or the dialogue that's happening between the characters and so i've done this a lot and i bet you have do is you start skimming you start skimming to get past like yep i already know that your brain starts skipping over the information that has already been made very clear to you at the outset so that you can get to the new stuff and as a writer you don't want your reader to be skimming you want them to be highly engaged with every single thing you're saying so i think that when we've already set the scene we've already set the move we already have those beautiful descriptions there where they belong let's try not to bog down dialogue with something we've already told the readers right exactly i saw this funny meme one time that was a writing meme that was like a picture i don't know if i showed you it it's a picture of like this guy on like a staircase it was like a pretty short staircase like five or six steps and he was like very dramatically stepping over all the steps like from the bottom to the very top step and it was like me skimming through all the description to get to the dialogue yes and i'm like oh my gosh it's so cheap and see the fact that that's a meme is because it's it's a real thing that happens in a lot a lot a lot a lot of books yeah and this is a great question to ask your beta readers if you have beta readers or alpha readers and you want some feedback to ask them what parts did you find yourself skimming because they might not even notice like oh that was too wordy or too descriptive um but they they will notice what they skimmed you know what they what started to kind of lose their attention um maybe where they started to lose focus on the story or started to skip ahead to some dialogue and that can be a good indicator that okay we need to trim back some of the stuff that's going on here all right one of the things to remember too is don't get too clammed up about it because when you go through and edit your book for like the first second third time that you're going to be reading through your book you can always delete that so sometimes when you're writing there's like this real urge to write a lot of description and i know because i feel that too and sometimes i will literally be like i know i'm probably gonna take this out but i'm just gonna say this anyway because i feel like this needs something here and if i stop and think about it too long i'm going to lose my train of thought or i'm going to waste time and not be able to write forward because i'm sitting here like agonizing over whether this is too much description if that's you just write it just write it and get it out of the way get it out of your system and then when you go back you'll be able to identify like okay where is this slowing down dialogue where is this slowing down the progression of the scene and then move shift change delete what needs to be changed but in the initial writing process you can just let it all flow and get it out there in the open and then you can fine-tune it later yeah i agree i always like to have more rather than less to work with because then you don't have to do a lot of like rewriting in the um second draft or whatever you can just like delete some things that are not necessary exactly um yeah so a lot of what we're saying is super applicable not only to the writing process but especially probably even more to the editing process so when you start going through your first draft these are great things to keep in mind when you feel like hmm this is slowing down the scene a little bit that would be a good place to implement some of these yeah yeah and another way i think that you can tell if it's slowing down the scene and this is something i talked about in my pacing video is how long does it actually take you to read the description and i think a lot of people um a lot of writers don't really think of it in this term but this is why i used screenplays as an example in that video and i think it's a great thing to learn from because basically the reason why you don't see a lot of description um is because there is kind of this general rule that one page of a screenplay equals one minute of screen time so you can't afford to go on and on about you know describing a scene um not only is that just not helpful for the end result but also it's wasting time it's you're spending all this time on something that will only pass probably in the span of like 15 seconds so there's no need to go through all that description um and actually in that video i read a section of a screenplay and show you the clip from the corresponding film to show how the description the time that it takes you to read the screenplay that section of the screenplay is actually the same as the runtime of the clip in the final product which is so interesting to me because that's kind of how you want your your book to read right you want your reader to see it like a movie playing in their mind and the only way that can happen is if they are basically seeing things happen at the pace at which they read so that's another thing to keep in mind when you're especially when you're in the editing process like kate said you know because you don't want to um be editing as you're writing and slowing yourself down or discouraging yourself because you're like i can't get this right just just go forward also it's kind of two different mindsets isn't it it is we've talked about that like having your editor cap on versus having your writer's cap on is feels really different um so if you're in the creative writing mood just write whatever you want like i'm such a firm believer and just write whatever you want and i know me and abby do that too and it's like make it messy make it fun and then go back wait wait a day or two and then go back and read through it and fine tune this is where we make it pretty this is where we make it flow and a lot of times like me and abby working we're working on a co-write right now a lot of times for us that's when we read it to each other and we're like that sounds like a little it slows it down a little bit there and then we critique each other so you can find what process works best for you but don't feel like you have to do it all in one go because no one no one has to do that with writing there's gonna be many passes that you make through this manuscript to make it reach its full potential yeah and that's that's really the important thing is like the the actual structure the actual story is the most important part to get down in the first draft like make sure you have that figured out because the description like you said is like the pretty stuff you know making it pretty it's like the aesthetic appeal you know of like a house when you're building a house but you don't want to reach the stage of building the house where the sheetrock is up and everything's ready to be staged and then you decide oh wait i don't like the layout of this house like that's right that's not the time to decide that yeah it's definitely the time for decorating and making things pretty so um yeah that's very important to keep in mind um final but definitely last but definitely not least um when you're writing in first person or actually when you're writing like anything that's in the point of view of your character does it match the personality of the character to describe something like this and this is a question that you can ask yourself as you're writing and this is about character voice really um so locking into your character's unique voice and then describing the story and describing the world around them how they would describe it so this is something that um honestly i don't see a lot of writers talk about this yeah but it's so important yeah because this is where you really establish character voice yeah and it's it's it makes the story so much more immersive when you feel like you're sold on the character and their voice and their perspective of the world and it makes sense how they see things whether that's you know places settings um people relationships how they view the world is going to dramatically impact your writing voice whether you're switching point of view or not and when you're switching point of view you kind of have to like go into the other character's head which can be a fun challenge but it's definitely challenging yeah it is because you have to really think about okay the way i'm describing this is this how this character would actually think about that thing or am i just using them as the sort of vessel to get all this information to the reader even though it seems clunky and abnormal for them to even think all of this you know what i mean so let's say you have a character who is a a guy who is super blunt doesn't really put a lot of thought into things maybe he's kind of um extroverted fun-loving doesn't really think super deep about every single detail isn't an overthinker at all and then you know he meets a girl and he's not gonna be like she was wearing this color dress and the trim on the dress looked like this and the jewelry she was wearing looked like this and her hair was highlighted she was wearing you know a little bit of makeup but not too much makeup and her shoes were you know like this and she she sort of carried herself with this confidence and this you know had this light airy vibe like a character if you created a character like that who's blunt doesn't overthink he's not going to describe that much stuff okay so and and vice versa if you have let's say another character someone who's kind of introverted and notices absolutely everything a bit of a like sherlock type of character it's gonna feel like yeah he notices like a freakish amount of detail and so we're gonna write all that in but if they're a character that's like no i don't really notice that stuff you know just cut to the chase um on to the next thing you know they're not going to stop and be like whoa let's think about every aspect of the way this person looks you know what i mean so you have to really think who is it that i'm working with here and especially when you're changing point of views and how would they actually describe it you know what i mean what would they actually notice what would they actually notice because there are some things that may be happening that they don't even notice because of that character you know exactly so and then it might be interesting because you switch point of view to a character who will notice those things and it's like oh we learn more details through this character instead of learning it all through this character who's really you know kind of flippant and uh blunt doesn't notice a lot of stuff is more focused on their own their own game right so you have to really think about what is your character's voice like what is their personality like do they notice things like that do they walk into a room when especially characters walk into a room are they going to notice like oh the walls are upholstered with you know this type of paneling and the furniture looks like this and the wallpaper looks like this and there's this many people in the room most people don't notice that kind of stuff when they walk into a room so you have to ask yourself is my character super observant like this would they notice all this detail and describe it in this much depth or would they kind of just breeze through like oh i walk into the room's kind of dark you know there's a few people here and there would they describe it more like that so these are things that that bring your character's voice and their flavor to the description rather than just using them as a vessel to info dump to the reader right and letting your own voice come through a lot um and that's something like a way that you can think about it if you're uh struggling to do this to lock into character voice is just think of this character's chapters as they're talking to themselves so like how would they talk to themselves you know how would they observe the world and like almost tell themselves this story as it's unfolding um obviously when they're having dialogue with other characters they're engaging with other characters but even when they're having dialogue i mean there's so much room for misinterpretation in just like gestures and and face expressions and maybe this character is like deeply insecure okay and as they have interactions with another character they are assigning thoughts and emotions to the other character that the other character isn't even feeling like you know oh they sigh before they say something to me and i know that they're annoyed with me and they think i'm stupid and it's like they maybe the other character doesn't even think that but this first character thinks that about themselves so you're now now you're revealing not only character voice but you're thinking like you're revealing internal conflict really um through the interactions and through the way this character interprets the world and that's why it's so important to sink into their their mind their point of view how how do they interact how do they see the world and how do they see themselves that's why i put such an emphasis on character creation all the time because if you can really flesh out this character and understand where they come from not just the things that have happened to them but how those things have changed them how it has shaped who they are today and how they see themselves what is their fatal flaw what is the lie they believe about the world and about themselves and that is the lens through which they see everything everything that happens to them every person who interacts with them they're seeing it through that lens so what does that look like on paper and that can be fun to um explore and i've i've seen some people recommend before you sit down to write a character's point of view um write just like a page like free write a page of like a journal entry of something that they would write to themselves and i thought that's an interesting idea for an exercise that's i've never done it before but it seems like it would be helpful to lock into character voice because you're getting right into their emotions right and into kind of the voice they use to speak to themselves and to process their own thoughts and emotions so that's that's a huge element i think of description and narrative the in-between stuff exactly yeah that's a really good exercise yeah yeah i like that and want to like think of it this way too because a lot of you guys will be able to relate to this is think of a pick a few like family members in your head or a few friends and think of like if you all went and had an experience of something you went to a theme park you went to a museum and then think of how each of those like family members or friends would describe that event or some of like pick a few things they would probably you would probably think like oh i know so and so would notice this or i know so and so would notice that or focus on that thing way more think about the diversity in those descriptions that you would get from your own family members or your own close friends and how there would be huge differences in what they would notice or what they would even pay attention to yeah and it's the same thing with your characters you would have that same diversity of opinion and personality and what they would notice and what they would be thinking about and whether or not they would be paying a lot of attention to certain things or not so you want you want your characters to feel just as real as the real people in your life so that can be a good good way to think about it yeah for sure so um going off of everything that we've talked about today kate and i have prepared a printable for you guys that you can follow like a guide that you can ask yourself these questions and kind of use this as an exercise to take everything all the techniques and um all the tips that we've talked about today and kind of put it into practice in your own writing using these questions and do you do you want to read the questions yeah let's read the questions out here so first ask yourself does this add value to the reader's experience does the reader need to know this about about what i'm describing whatever it is the the detail that you're pointing the lens at is it on topic with this scene or is it distracting from the main point or what is actually going on and if it's from first person point of view does this amount of description match the personality of the character and how they think and their internal conflict will this mean anything later on is it actually taking away from the rest of what is going on in this scene and does it draw the reader's attention to something that doesn't matter so these are questions that you can ask yourself and the link to that printable by the way is in the description box below this video so you can grab it right now for free and print it off or copy and paste into your scrivener document and use it as kind of like a checkpoint after you write a scene or in the middle of a scene maybe you're having trouble setting up the scene and you're not sure what to describe what to leave out what details to bring attention to it can just be a really good um reminder to ask yourself these questions and understand whether or not you should point the lens at something um because that's really what it comes down to and i would say that that's a great way to think about it yeah that's probably the best takeaway from what we've discussed today is like noticing that every line you write is pointing the lens at something so it better matter to what is happening in the scene and matter to the reader and matter to the characters isn't there some saying too that you've heard before that's like in film that's like you know if you're showing a gun mounted to the wall over the desk that gun had better be relevant later in the film yeah right and that's like that's something your brain isn't that like a filmmaking thing that you heard sure i think i may have heard it somewhere i can't remember where i heard about it but it's like if you're watching a spy film and it shows like oh there's a gun over that person's desk and you're thinking it's already creating tension just showing that because you're like oh that's going to be relevant somewhere that's going to be used against the main character at some point in the film and then if it's never shown again you're like why did you show me that yeah fake tension exactly you don't want to create fake tension so if you're bringing attention to something it had better have meaning later in the story yeah 100 it reminds me also of um i watch a lot of mission impossible the original series and there's like so much of every episode like probably the first half of it if not more is like just setting things up and you're watching these characters you know setting up what's going to happen in the mission and your focus is really brought to a lot of different very specific elements and then you're waiting there's like that suspense and anticipation of like okay what's that going to be how is that going to unfold and as the story comes together you see how it unfolds but if those elements were just kind of focused on and then neglected you'd be like what happened with that i was waiting to see what was going to happen um so again with description with focus you uh you want to focus on the things that are relevant or will be relevant later so yeah definitely grab that printable and the link is in the description box below this video if you're not on youtube you can find the youtube version of this podcast on kate's youtube channel which is youtube.com ka emmons definitely go check out the youtube version so that you can see our lovely faces and interact in the comments and also follow kate's channel because she has amazing videos as well um and i know that uh kate has some very exciting news coming soon about her own publishing i have a book coming out super super soon super soon so i'll be able to release release the release date really soon uh the cover some info about the book is the last book in my series the blood race it's a sort of follow-up duology and it's the very last book the final final book kind of the closing of the chapter of the blood race and it's going to be released this september and i'll have more dates and info really soon on that and abby and i are working on our co-write and if you want to get updates about that figure like if you want to be in on like when we start talking about release dates and more concrete stuff like that and even just little writing updates who knows maybe we'll send out like just little updates about how we're doing we want to start interacting with you guys more on that so if you've been following along on this journey and you're like hey i want to stay up to date on what you guys are writing with this amazing co-write project sign up for our email list we're going to create an email list you'll find the link in the description of the video version of this podcast and you can follow along with our writing journey hearing from abby and i occasionally and of course most importantly when it's ready to release you'll be the first person to know maybe even have a chance to be an advanced reader who knows we have all sorts of stuff that we're running through our minds trying to figure out you know how we're going to release the book and start the series and you guys have been with us for every step of that journey hearing about all of it like since chapter one so we wanted to extend this invite to you guys to be the first on that inner circle email list so that you can hear all those updates before anybody else does that would be the first place we send out anything before social media or videos or any of it so be sure you get on that email list because we would love to be able to chat with you and get you info before we release it anywhere else yeah it's really exciting i'm looking forward to sharing it with the world it's going to be so much fun it's been a lot it's been a really fun journey to write write this book these books we're on the second we're drafting the second one right now so we are one we want to pace ourselves and make sure that we are ready to launch when the launch day does come so that's going to be an exciting time so definitely looking forward to that and in the meantime definitely stick around and um check out kate's final book in her series it's gonna be epic um and also stick around on my channel because i'm going to be releasing some exciting new content for you guys soon i'm working on some new master classes and new live trainings and i'm really excited to share it all with you guys it's going to be great yeah your live trainings have been like such a cool experience to watch that grow so like real quick though like if someone wants to opt in to like start with you on a live training like how do they do that go to my patreon so patreon.com abbyemens and get inside that community there um that's where i do my live trainings every single month that's also where you can get exclusive content like the discord community which is such a cool vibrant community of so many writers and it's it's awesome to see that community grow i'm in there a lot myself writing doing writing sprints chatting with you guys so it's kind of an exclusive little writer's clubhouse um there's also a lot of resources like templates and all of my resources everything i share on my channel um my scrivener template and writing templates story structures character arcs all the stuff that i talk about on my channel so lots of values are heaps of resources yeah and also your live trainings have kind of a cool vibe to them too because it's similar to your youtube channel obviously because you're talking about all these great writing topics that you always talk about in writer's life wednesdays and science of story but it's a little more like a class yeah because and it has this interactive element because it's live yeah so it's like it's kind of taking it to almost the next level because you have that element of interaction like we're sitting down with you while you teach us these principles and talk about you know all these amazing topics and we can sort of like ask questions and stuff like that yeah yeah so it's a really cool format i think it's it that sets it apart from your youtube channel so i think it's like a great next step for someone who's like hey i watch your channel all the time i listen to kate abby show what's like the next step i want to like be more part of a community it feels like you're literally going to like a writer's retreat and sitting down at a workshop that's really a good word to describe is they're like kind of like workshops yeah they are a bit they are for sure um and yeah it's more in-depth like you were saying you know i usually teach for like 30 to 40 minutes sometimes 45 to 50 minutes because i get carried away sometimes and then we always have like a 10 to 15 minute q a at the end where i answer your questions and we dive deeper into these elements um and it's it's really amazing because we get to interact on on a closer level so a lot of times we just don't have the chance to um you know chat about your specific stories and work out these problems it's that's something that's more reserved for you know ask abby and i only randomly choose a few questions each month so it's a unique opportunity definitely when you're part of the live training to engage with me and to get my personal advice and feedback on these particular elements of your story and keeping with the theme of the live training so yeah it's it's fun and explorative i've even learned a lot doing these and helping you guys to come closer to achieving your author dreams so i hope to see you on the next one um the next one's probably going to be happening this saturday uh stay tuned on my channel for more dates and uh specifics about that for slash sure emmons if you don't follow there already um and thank you again to our amazing sponsors who help us to keep this show alive we love you guys so much thanks for helping us keep this podcast interruption free sponsorship free you guys are the sponsors and we so appreciate your help so if you get value out of this show go to patreon.com the kate and abby show and help us keep it alive and free of interruptions thank you guys so much for joining us comment below and join the discussion tell us what you thought of this episode we love to hear from you guys we'd love to hear your thoughts on description and character voice and pacing everything that we've discussed today and don't forget to grab the printable that's linked below this video as well thank you guys so much for listening and we'll see you in the next one until then stay stoked and rock on

Channel: K.A. Emmons

Views: 25,997

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Id: lI_nTy35PAM

Length: 38min 17sec (2297 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 25 2022