How to Use Examples in IELTS TOEFL Task 2 Essay

everybody welcome back - right to the top I'm Adam in today's video I want to talk to you about the task 2 essay either IELTS or TOEFL IELTS academic IELTS general and very specifically I want to talk about examples using examples in your essay to support your ideas okay so that's the topic today we're gonna look at how to present the examples like how to introduce it into your writing and I'm gonna go through some do's and don'ts about using examples and I'm gonna show you some samples from actual tests written by students okay some samples are written by students so we're gonna start with the a little bit of mechanics okay very briefly we'll look at it but it's very very important in your writing that you actually introduce the example I've seen a lot of people they just dive into an example but the reader doesn't realize that you have shifted into an example that you're giving an example of something you've said previously so this is part of the cohesion and coherence score you need that shift you need that linking expression to shift the focus to an example to support the argument so these are the expressions you can use and I'm gonna show you the slight differences in some of them and slight grammatical changes you need to make so for example and for instance these are essentially the same you can interchange them to illustrate has a slightly different usage and I'm gonna show you how to do that as well now both of all three of these can begin a sentence or can begin a clause to illustrate however can't be used like for example in for instance at the end of a sentence to begin a list okay so for example if for instance can come later and be followed by like a list similar to such as or like or including to illustrate can't do that it has to come at the beginning of a clause it doesn't have to be the first words you can put something like a word comma to illustrate comma and then get into your cause or you can use at the beginning and I'll show you some of these as well you can also say take whatever your example is as an example and then get explain it from there a great example of this is your thing and then go on to explain it from there so these are the main ones you're gonna use there are other ways to get into an example that's a bit obvious but these are the ones I want to focus on today just to make sure you make it clear to the reader what is going on okay so a few examples today's children learn very early on how to engage technology like you'll notice that all these sentences are the same semicolon starting a new sentence for example comma they can use mobile devices now very important to understand here I have a semicolon and then for example comma I'm starting a new sentence after the semicolon you can put a period capital F for example comma and then get into your sentence very important to realize here that I have they can use I have a full independent clause following this structure if you're beginning after a period or semicolon make sure you have a full sentence then I can do it like this as well for example followed by a comma and no comma after for example in this case I'm putting it mid-sentence and I'm basically following it up with a list and it's very important to understand the functions in each of these examples okay so let's go back to the first one today's children learn very early on how to engage technology so what am i giving you an example of here firstly I'm giving you an example of the technology mobile devices and other electronic gadgets and then I'm giving you an example of early on when when is early on at what age so by age five so I'm giving you two examples of two things while technology is the thing and early on is a situation okay so essentially things and situations I'm going to use for instance for example here I took out by age five and I'm giving you an example only of technology mobile devices and other electronic gadgets again because I'm just giving you a list I'm not giving you a full Clause and I'm just giving you examples of the one thing I'm treating for example exactly the same as such as like or including you could put these and you can put these the only difference is for example I would use a comma for such as and like I wouldn't use a comma for including I would use a comma again so again just a little bit of mechanics make sure you're comfortable with punctuation by the way if you want to see a video about semicolons I've made a video there's a link up top here you can learn more about semicolons I also made a video about commas or two videos about commas and they're linked up here as well now let's look at to illustrate this is a little bit different for me for example today's children learn how to very early how to engage technology to illustrate many five-year-olds so I'm talking about the age so that's a part of it can search for and play new online games without their parents assistance I'm not tell you about technology what I'm showing you is engage I'm showing you how they engage examples of how they engage and that's the big difference with between to illustrate and for example for example of what to illustrate how something is done that's the general difference in many cases people mix these up for most people they won't really notice a lot understand you're starting an example but for a careful reader it might be a little bit confusing what they will ask what are you trying to illustrate to illustrate means to show something to show how something is done so use illustrate to give an example of an action or verb use for example for instance such like etc to show examples of things and situations okay so that's basically the mechanics of it now what I want to look at are some do's and don'ts okay these are these are very very important because people make mistakes here a lot with the examples now the first do is very obvious do use examples do provide examples to support your ideas now before I go on I want to quickly look at the band descriptor so if you go to IELTS org this is for IELTS TOEFL applies as well they do care about examples you can check their descriptors as well but for the IELTS as an example this is the official band descriptor you can see on their website to get a band aid and task response remember you're getting scored on four criteria task response cohesion and coherence vocab and grammar task response to get a band aid you need to present a well-developed response to the question so you have to develop it you have to give me a full complete answer to support your thesis with relevant means related to the topic extended and supported ideas this is the most important part extended means you developed it completely you've explained everything so it's very clear for the reader to understand your argument why do you are you making this argument why do you think this argument supports the thesis or supports the whole idea of the essay and supported ideas supported basically means examples did you show me how this argument works in the real world did you show me how it works period so that I can believe your argument to that so that I can be convinced by your argument okay and also cohesion and coherence also very important I'll get to that in a second actually I'll get to it right now make sure that the examples they're the examples directly linked to the point just made some people they give me an argument then they give me a sentence about something else that's a little bit unrelated and then they give me the example for that argument that they gave before the example must follow the actually after the argument made it must directly follow the thing or they the situation or the action that it is giving an example of if you separate the argument and the example the example means nothing it actually only works to confuse the reader and you're losing cohesion and coherence court and task response because you didn't support your idea okay put them together ideally when you finish your example go back to your argument or go back to your topic sentence or go back to your thesis to show how it all ties together make sure that your examples are correct I've seen people use examples like they try to present a fact as an example for an argument they made except that the information that they give in the example is actually wrong now when I'm not talking about like tiny little details that most people wouldn't know actually very well known statements of fact they try to present but the information is actually wrong like they put the wrong country or they put the wrong company or they put the wrong whatever example and it actually weakens their argument because well it doesn't actually that's not true so maybe it doesn't work or maybe it isn't this way etc make sure they are complete don't just say one word and hope that they that the reader can elaborate in his or her own mind make sure the your example is complete so that I can understand the example how the exam the argument works sorry have the argument and make them concrete don't be vague don't be abstract don't just say general things like language say French say Arabic say Chinese say something specific and concrete so that I can make the connection with the argument I'm going to show you some examples of these things in a moment and you'll get a better idea some don'ts don't over generalize don't think that your example applies everywhere to everyone all the time sometimes they don't sometimes doing this actually makes it weaker it makes your example weaker makes your argument weaker makes your essay weaker I'll give you an example of that is do not make the example the argument keep your example short one maximum two sentences once you start getting on and on about your example you have no more time or words left for the argument which means you didn't make an argument you didn't give a complete argument try not to do that as well and sometimes people just put in the word for instance or they put in the word for example inside their argument somewhere but they don't actually give an example they just put the words for example with nothing following it or nothing connected connecting anything to anything that will actually lose you more points than help you so don't just toss it in don't just throw it in there and think that the reader can make the connection him or herself okay now obviously the best way to understand all of this stuff is to look at examples so here's an from all of these examples by the way are from essays that I have assessed by test takers I cleaned all the English so we don't have to worry about the English we're just focusing on the examples on the content so this essay is about what governments can do or what governments can do to help the environment so this person is making an argument that education is a very useful tool to use to help the environment to raise public awareness of environmental safety great good argument good point let's get into it firstly proper training programs could be added to a school syllabi or a to school syllabi sorry as a result of this step not only would a new generation be educated they would also be able to share their knowledge with others first of all nothing here about environment so what exactly are you giving me an example of secondly what kind of training programs what are they gonna do in these training programs as a and how does this how do these training programs result in anything well what will they what they will result in is a generation will be educated well yeah if they go to school they will be educated if you teach them math they will be educated in math I think they can share their math skills with their friends and neighbors the point the example here or the argument has nothing you have to give me examples or figure out another way to relate it to environment secondly the government can collaborate with companies and prepare special panels or informative meetings for adults in the workforce same exact idea except now you're looking at adults instead of kids what what kind of collaborations what kind of companies what are they going to do what kind of special panels what kind of meetings you didn't elaborate on anything you didn't give me an example of anything points a little bit weak thirdly the government can promote educational films on television or publish billboard ads or newspaper articles now here this person came a little bit close to share the proper method to help preserve the environment so okay so you can use the media to edit to raise public awareness but what kinds of things what kinds of films are you gonna put on what kinds of articles are you gonna use what kinds of methods are these that are going to help the environment so all three of these or all three of these points don't actually say anything and they're not there's no examples you have to support any of them so I'm not really sure what your argument is thus once they know what that they should do something as well as how to do it well what are they going to know how are they going to do it humans can act responsibly against the deterioration of nature how and what is responsibly mean in this case notice also you have three points all of them can be summed up in one the government can educate the public for example and now you can bring examples for example kids can be taken to nature nature reserves and learn how to interact with plants and animals adults can work with their companies - or companies can so the government can collaborate with companies to develop R&D into green energy sources and lastly the media can publish documentaries about the environment or informative articles or animated movies for kids give we can't create examples make the whole idea complete about your argument my suggestion always is have fewer arguments more elaboration which is why I also recommend to body paragraphs not three have a solid idea a solid argument expand on it supported with examples tie it back to your thesis that's the easiest and best way to get a high score on task response okay here's another example co-ed so co-ed school versus one sex school like a boy schoolgirl school so this person is saying that there are those who believe that you should have to set like separated schools so that they can have rule-oriented education wherein boys learn about the task so they will have to do in the future girls learn about theirs consequently neither boys nor girls waste time learning non useful skills such as so here's his example here's this person's example sewing for the former and tasks requiring muscle power for the latter what's the problem here first of all as soon as you get into role oriented education you're already a little bit of risky because a lot of modern young people don't believe in role like gender roles right everybody can do anything girls can do anything boys can do boys can do anything girls can do but saying that sewing is a non useful skill first of all that's incorrect sewing is a very useful skill for boys and for girls if you're a boy and you need something sewn and your mother sister daughter wife girlfriend whatever is not around what are you going to do walk with a hole in your shirt no you'll get a needle in the pit and some thread and fix it right very useful skills not only for clothes for all kinds of different things lots of men's so a tailor is a very good profession a tailor is a person who sews suits for men right so you can make a lot of money by learning this skill as a man and many women do lots of very heavy lifting and muscle work and there are many women who are stronger than many men it's just incorrect one it's very over generalized and it's a little bit sexist and if you get a feminist examiner reading this she'll find a way or he'll find a way if there's a feminist man who you or she will find a way to lower your score because this is a very weak example for a very controversial argument ok so here's an apple somebody just threw in for instance moreover it is possible that the project should be financed by angel investors whereby incomings could escalate considerably okay so this is within the I'm already inside the argument moreover if the company were to become international for instance profits would automatically skyrocket for instance of what what are you giving me an instance of if the company were to become international okay if it becomes international you can make more money there's no example here this sentence has no relation to the last sentence you're just giving me moreover you give me another idea another probability or suggestion or argument you are not giving me any example anywhere here it is possible that should be financed by angel investors this could be the whole sentence could be an example of how you can succeed in business but here this for instance has no connection to anything else if I take it out furthermore of their company were to operate globally profits could sky right okay one possibility another possibility both of these possibilities can be examples for the howís business can succeed but there's no example within this sentence this word actually works against you I'm not gonna read all this don't worry so this is an essay about whether students should assess teachers or evaluate teachers or whether teachers should evaluate each other so this person to begin with university students cannot fairly assess their teachers good topic sentence the students can't do it they pick their teachers for convenience and preference and they prefer this the teachers who make learning fun then for example and this example goes all the way down to the end of the paragraph so though most of the paragraph is an example it's a story about what happened to this writer in in university or in high school or whatever this is way too much keep your example brief one or two sentences and don't make this the argument this is your argument use this as an example and then come back to finish your argument with this example so this is what it should look like here's the same example I've reduced it to two sentences okay now I've got all the same information all the useless information that was just adding to the word count it wasn't actually adding to the argument development and then this is clearly not good for those students who want it so I'm taking this example I'm showing how this this was bad for the other students and how this effects teachers in the future when they understand that students will be giving them their evaluations and their jobs depend on it dot-dot-dot argument example tie it back to your argument and finish it off like that fully developed paragraph okay and that's it I can I could go on all day giving you examples but these should be enough make sure you're using examples make sure you're introducing them properly and make sure they are very relevant clear complete concrete and useful to support your argument and that's basically all there is to it okay if you have any questions about this please post them in the youtube comment section if you like the video give me a like don't forget to subscribe to my channel and come back next time for vocab grammar writing tips etc see you then bye bye

Channel: Write to the Top

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Keywords: IELTS, TOEFL, English writing, writing skills, language test, high score, how to write an essay, essay writing, test tips, English test, English skills, test preparation, study tips, IELTS high score, TOEFL high score, language skills, how to write in English, IELTS high band, IELTS writing, TOEFL writing, academic writing, how to use examples, Task2 essay, essay development, Task Response, writing samples, body paragraph

Id: ZI--0HIyR-s

Length: 21min 58sec (1318 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 07 2019