How To NEVER Run Out Of Things To Say: Unleash The POWER Of INTUITION To Be Charismatic!

you guys know what it takes to to get a noticeable like improved level of verbal witticism like there's essentially two aspects to this this is what I've always told people like this is Jeff how do I you know improve my verbal witticisms basically there's two sides to this coin the first side is learning what we call the invisible threads now you guys know what that is show of hands visible threads okay not very many so briefly what that is it's this idea that in a given interaction somebody could say literally anything to you like like it there's an infinite number if I say this to them there's an infinite number of responses that they could say you know within the range of you know the permutations of the language the words you can string together but it's essentially infinite they could say anything however they will usually say one of like five things maybe more but especially you're going out and they're specific types of interaction you're having whether that's the sales thing whether that's you know a romantic encounter or something you just met if I say this they could say anything but they'll usually say this this this this or this now if you go out a lot and you've had a lot of these interactions you've done or a lot of experienced hours under your belts you'll have heard all of these countless times before you know several dozen times before and then you can come up with you know like I say this they could say anything but okay they said they responded this so I have four responses already teed up to that each imparting a different emotional tenor to the interaction depending on which way I want to take it right and then for each of those they could say anything but then they'll usually say this this or this so it becomes like this kind of dialogue tree that sort of branches down which is obviously an oversimplification but the net effect is you always appear to have like some better answer right you have this rep arte right so hold on so that's that's one side of the coin the other side of the coin and this is equally important is if not more important is letting go of needing it to work letting go of needing it to be good in other words learning to open up to what you might call intuitive capacities okay so for example in you know in the live events that we do sometimes we'll do an exercise that I I enjoy doing this one where I'll literally have people just blank their mind I just like your mind and what and just don't try to think of anything whatever bubbles up you're just gonna say the word okay so if I were to do it right now igloo orangutan Tanzania Slurpee edification tangential iridescent popcorn weasel licorice aardvark kazoo again like boom whatever just comes up I just say I could literally stand here and do that for 10 hours straight with like know very few hiccups okay so when what's interesting to me is a lot of people when they when it comes their turn to do this they could not they can't do it they're absolutely paralyzed there's like car floor podium to floor yeah like like they just look around or they like you know so they can't do it why well what does that even mean they're in their head what does that mean yeah so basically okay so when we're talking about being in your head means there is an over involvement of the intellectual capacity okay to look intellect is not it's not a villain until I can do a lot of things until I can observe it can analyze it can decide it can make discerning choices about creative choices that you're making however here's the issue when you are in an interaction and you have some intuitive hunch you might call these of something to say or do there's no timeout for you for the intellect to evaluate that because it's happening in process right it's happening in time now even when I'm speaking to you right now like the words I'm saying they're vaguely planned out in my mind but let's just let's just look take a look at the musicality with which I'm coloring the I'm saying right I'm adding different pitch I'm adding different inflections I'm adding different tone colors I'm adding different pauses different Cadence's as I say these things now I'm not planning in advance how to color this these words this is a function of the intuitive process of my verbal mode mind if you will okay there's also an intuitive process for the body like I'm making these gestures without thinking about them it's just what feels right there's also an intuitive process for the facial emotional statements I'm conveying with my my contact and the musculature of my face I don't you do they can their readers audiences they can face talking brother there right so so but the thing is many people are they're not open to these it is intuitive capacities right or they again there's this like but you said they're in their head which means they're judging right there's this self reflective judgmental burden that they're carrying that is constantly concerned as to whether like will this appear will this make me appear foolish will this reveal something about how my mind works I key works that's embarrassing and so they they just can't do it this also goes back to like the trial a really suppose try to lie and you're great it's the part of your brain is responsible for making fit into the tribe is overactive that prefrontal cortex or like absolutely buddy your brain is overactive so it's important for us to say stupid things because you can't blend them to drive you like a homeless guy walking on the street we're talking to yourself you know and you look you have paranoid schizophrenia well has that and he literally can't walk into the street right now because it looks like people be concerned about his welfare so it's safer to have him not walk that in the street like that that make sense so your great the part of your brain that's thinking about maybe fit it's described so don't get all surprised it's overactive are you gonna climb it down quiet down so Jeff's talking in time it's very difficult to quiet it down though right because the thing is it's there's weird there's a there's an asymmetrical thing going on between the connections between the amygdala and the frontal cortex and the cortex back to the amiga the connections that go from the cortex back to the amygdala are much much weaker so it's very difficult to inform the amygdala of what to do but basically there's a variety of behavior therapies you can do essentially what we advocate is an extinction therapy where you progressively expose yourself to more and more frightening situations in order to like cool that trigger off so the avoidance behavior becomes no behavior but you're just training a new behavior which is no avoidance but it's very interesting too because you know opening up to this whole these intuitive capacities you can't call it forth you can't command it you can only allow it and for people who are very logical how many people in here up like a very straightforward logical job like you're an engineer of some sort or you know just any sort of logic logic very logical oriented job very difficult for people to just kind of trust their their faculties so to speak so how do you first of all how do you learn invisible threads well you go you stay alive longer you know you you have more interactions you get more data points how do you develop the capacity to open to intuitive energies that's a little bit that's a little bit more difficult again you just have to learn to trust yourself and it's kind of its kind of strange yeah I'm yeah first up obviously for suburbia you know they say number one theory public speaking hair he was crazy that it was like eight years ago that a julienne fries work and Julie was like okay so you're gonna win I'm like what biggest lrc tradition right thrown upon stage you're gonna open I'm like okay so I do that and it goes okay but then I look at my clock and I realized five minutes has passed by and he hasn't gotten me off the stage now and I'm running out of premeditated things that I wanted to say and I'm like oh he went to the bathroom he's godlike he's just gone right so I crossed a certain barrier that you have to go over I'm over the time it happened for real was like oh it was on a plane there's like late for the plane he missed the plane and he's 45 minutes into the plane and so on they're in Austin Texas okay so guys I know you're all here to see Owen but it's me for two hours like I thought he'd get on the plane and it was eventually to free our free tour just me of course a certain point there's a certain point then public speaking this that terrifies you and you know that surprising I'll tell you why terrorizing it terrifies me because your mind it being we're going to say at minute 12 and 18 seconds so imaginary destination that you want to be carrying at minute 12 and 18 seconds and there's no way to know what you're gonna say admitted 12 and 18 seconds we've been always true that we want power and a handle is real there's no way I can predict what I'm going to say in an hour and a half now it's literally just like trusting the skill that I built up so far and jumping off the edge and hoping that I'll and like I might beat or like mom right head that's what I'm hoping for that doesn't happen I kind of like it happen anyways let's enjoy this moment right now I get back to that in fact means you're wearing the single mo the words can be hiding about the election of the boys the finale the jokes the the happy gilmore stuff you guys said right I'm getting back to enjoying that right between what am I going to say is it gonna hit is it gonna land is we're gonna enjoy it am I gonna look cool I'm here what's this Joe glance all these thoughts cannot predict them cannot try them out at all you know what's interesting to like when we're when we're in a format like this where we're essentially trying to convey information right especially if we're at one of the paid programs I'm trying to convey information in a very short period of time relatively you know several hours and I was like talking very quickly showing the information like what I'm actually interacting with somebody out at the bar I'm not concerned so much with the content per se right because this is a huge realization for me people are not attracted to the content they're attracted to the emotional vibe that provides the bedrock kind of the foundation the extensible reason why they're even talking to you because it's a good feeling right so it's this sort of vertical vibe development versus this sort of horizontal plot development right from A to B whether that's negotiation whether that's closing the deal whether that's getting out of there and getting some what you going somewhere private you know you have to again balance those two but it's important understand there are a lot of these opposites inherent in this stuff that you have to juggle essentially like what's another one direct indirect what's another one playfulness versus seriousness energy versus repose etc etc but understand that on a spectrum the point of the greatest power on that spectrum is through the interaction of the opposites you got to find a synthesis in those opposites so when you're doing an interaction you have to find the the vibe implicit in the plot development and then you have to also find the plot development inherent in the vibe if that makes sense it's kind of interesting it's like new scenario just happened me on the way over here I was in the lift which is substantially less qualified than uber I find it's not as good at all I find the guys getting lost or confused some of this lifts right and the goal of the lift is to like get me from point A to point B can be from like my hotels like this conference room that's the goal that's the destination that's the tactical but I also want to enjoy the ride a little bit one in the euchre I want to enjoy like point to point A to point B but I can't cuz this guy is just stressed out Ben who's new Bert I was complaining he's like man he's like going fast and stopping he's like stressed that moment in his life I don't want to do that man I just want to get to John mine here the guy started he opened two intuitive capacity balls yeah I don't know man I just I just kind of like like breathing through my mouth out the one it was I mean do it from the airport and like come on dude we were driver the car because the hopf fibration i don't want to get in and that dude that guy's low vibration damage look in the car I'm like in there I'm gonna emotionally holding my breath finally so like the one Japanese saying like interns like being charming Prismatic yes there was the conversation and linear flow game for point A to point feel at the uber driver but you also want to enjoy the ride a little bit on the way there it's not just about getting from point A to point B because we were stuck in traffic bro you weren't going anywhere we're a second traffic so you might as well enjoy good feeling of it in that moment right I mean look to be fair you know I I got bars I have like little turns of phrase witticisms when I'm talking to people and like I've seen people become attracted by virtue of the things on the content of the things I'm saying right okay look but it's more of an intellectual attraction it's like oh what a funny fellow he's such a witty guy like I like this guy but it's not like a visceral like physical attraction right it's not making their vagina wet so to speak okay like that that is not I mean look it says a lot of good things about you yeah his brain works okay maybe a little crazy but it works you know he all you know he has the ability to be unstyled in a social pressure situation that says a lot of good things about people or about you but ultimately the words like I said I think it's just kind of the word salad that gives the distensible reason to stand there and move it forwards you know smoothly so the thing is though by learning these invisible threads again you get you get those turns of phrase that staircase wit as Voltaire called it but then again you must also learn to let go most people can't do that most people can so what are they default to interview style questions right a barrage of interview style questions in some misguided attempt to gain rapport okay or some sort of connection but here's the issue like most guys go for connection first which I don't do that why why would you want a kit right would somebody want a connection with somebody that they have no in no value that has no value to them maybe like a homeless person like not even a homeless person let's say you're let's say you're about to cross the street and I come up to you just me not like I don't smell or you know anything I'm just normal dude I'm like hey man what's up hey how's it going cool what's your name awesome what do you do man what do you mean but what's your profession what does it matter I'm just asking questions Matt like where do you where do you live what's your address when are you home alone yeah yeah so again like you're putting your much you're not likely to engage this person and indulge these questions right so when we go up typically all like start boom I'll go up I'll open it I'll make sure that I get past these so-called social hook point first until you know that's from where they go from thinking who is this person why are they speaking to me - okay I like talking to this person let's continue speaking to them which can happen instantaneously or it can take up to a couple of minutes but until you hit that point you must keep talking and uphold 90% of the conversation that the onus is on you as the person who's walking up to them but then as soon as that's crossed I'm dropping in like little statements of intent right like damn you look very well put together this evening or morning as the case may be are you involved in the fashion industry in some capacity perhaps I love your look it's hot so anyway like I was saying I had Obamacare and I was gonna get all these surgeries I didn't like and then right off of it right and then I mentioned I did he just say hot is but it's like it's in there and then I start ramping it up slowly and they become more and more explicit so the thing is look I know how to talk so there's an old saying you know anyone here to do martial arts right jiu-jitsu or anything like that like there's an old saying you learn how to fight so you don't have to right so I did a interesting experiment a couple years ago I was out with one of my assistants we were in Boston we were to this place called Liberty Hotel and we were on a bootcamp and I and I said tonight guys let's do chode night like it was like chode night what's that where we do like little theme night sometimes just to mix it up like we'll do like old-school routine night where will I can open people be like hey did you see the fight outside you know that like back that kind of stuff cool eyes more you know those old that's like the old classics you know the chants the old chestnuts and then much night showed night what's that mean Jeff okay we're just gonna simply go up and say like good evening how are you or you know we're gonna go up and say hey what's up hey what's up you're beautiful and then put our hand on their lower back and then start asking boring interview style questions and I'm like and I'm like dude this is gonna be so bad I'm like I'm like cringing I'm like cringing for the blowouts oh my god here we go like time for a little ego dissolution here like and so we started doing it but we were getting good reactions like oh yeah no I'm from here oh cool yeah awesome I was like we're like looking at each other like is this a joke but you know thinking about it in retrospect I even talked about with uh with Owen a little bit it essentially it's like look most like they can tell most people when they're asking those questions they're desperately treading water right through the questions I hope the questions don't run out the where do you live where do you what do you do right like if they get the quick yeah if the questions follow like run out they're sunk right but with us they could sense that even though we're kind of being a little more chilled back at any moment we could be like sure are you oh god like who like we could we could bust out like some great Lincoln sense it's a proactive decision on our part to be more chilled out right they can sense that behind it like I guess put a different way it's like it's all about fields of choice potential they can sense their the field of choice potential surrounding like for example if I'm sitting in a chair in a state of repose next to I don't know LeBron James or like burisch Mikhail Baryshnikov the the best ballet dancer in the history of ballet like if we're sitting next to each other his state of repose conveys more power because of the wider field of kinesthetic choice potential that surrounds it if that makes sense like you could just tell this guy could do more physically than Jeff could right it's the same thing verbally so what we're talking about intuition it's like they're like what I'll do so I rely on I rely on my experience absolutely in conversation but I also when I'm having a conversation I'm a ten percent them initial hooking like hooking of attention phase then I kind of downshift it to about seventy thirty so allowing is don't understand this I see a lot of clients and they'll go out and they're not really having a conversation they're like talking at people like they're saying different things they may have heard that they thought were amusing like they heard maybe me say or someone else say or they read somewhere or or they're just like barage them with like anecdotes or things of that nature whereas when that 30% on the air and is very important you're not just with this you need to have a conversation you're not just waiting for your turn to say more to make more noises out of your flapping meet hole why is that well I don't think there's well let's put a pin in that but the thing is that 30% I'm using as a free association well so whatever they say again my brain is just a boom like it'll take whatever they they say boom and I'll just throw it back out like whatever bubbles up like it my magic 8-ball of my brain I'm just like boom there they're there they're there because I understand there's unconscious processes that I am not aware of that are drawing on experiences I might not even have conscious recollection of like we're talking about your intellect your conscious awareness what what the is that well it's basically your working memory yes what working memory is essentially it's been proven I don't know variously that you could hold like seven bits of information in your in your mental working space at one time right more than that things will start to fall out so basically your perception of the present moment of the here-and-now is what is in that working memory however this is drawing upon various unconscious processes that you are not even aware of for example like looking at me right now you recognize that's Jeff Allen for you to even be consciously aware of that you have to again have the photons hit your eye go into your brain compare it with memory of like a video you might have seen oh that's that guy right how my voice sounds the memory of that it goes in the ears that's a subconscious process that's happening right so if you think of consciousness it is in some ways maybe best to think of it as this sort of serial processor at the top of the cognitive hierarchy that is representing things symbolically that is processing lower unconscious processes operating in parallel including you know touch you know the various sensory inputs memory imagination emotional processes that is being filtered up and then again given symbolic representation again the codes that these subconscious processes are employing are not decipherable to you until it's brought up and given symbolic representation in this conscious working space so but again I really feel that the the usefulness of intellect is minimal in actual interaction so there's an other colleges Commons as you say well correct and so and so basically you you do need a you do need a technical degree of understanding and skill high enough that it requires little conscious attention I mean that's the classic like you said that's the classic quadrants of competence you know there's conscious in copper there's unconscious incompetence where you suck and have no idea there's conscious and competence where you suck and you're aware of it and you're trying to rectify it then you get to conscious competence where you can do it if you're paying attention closely as you're doing it then ultimately you want to get to unconscious competence where it's just again it's more ingrained you ever feels like isn't it kind of weird that we have to learn this stuff now like do you feel about yourselves like in this room is chairs being here you know you're learning this you're taking the action words it's kind of strange we have we all have the way this you think back to like your ancestors their parents why did they not have to learn it why do I don't what did they just understand it you know how did that happen and I would argue that in this day and age there's things that that you know how to do you already know how to do everything we tell you to do you have some awareness of it what's happening it's been shut down and pushed down so far so deep that you've lost contact with it when you see somebody you're attracted to some of that Mississippi you're trying to be like oh my gosh you know that that visceral feeling in your body the butterflies there's some of the excitement we meet let's know that and then all the sudden your brain comes that's it all thinking thinking man comes out think big things think think think judgment judgment judgment and then you lose touch with that the native bird the unconscious in millions you already have there are untapped through the source or cut off to the source that they say so that's one just talking like saying all right you haven't my conscious ability and if you embrace the girl with more or have a race of learn how to trust it you can tap into what's called intuition yeah and I'm not again intellect is not a villain it's important we need it we need to employ it to trance in the process of transcending itself interestingly enough right as we're doing that right now but at a certain point again once you've kind of thought about it analysis is great for after it's great for before it's great for after again it can inform creative decisions but I think intellect look would intellect is Transat like when you're fully present intellect is transcended because intellect is always related to the past or future right it's always really into the past or future I think that intellect should be a guide it should be a coach as you're accessing these higher energies and allowing them to happen through you it can remind you to kind of move along again keep the horizontal plot development going so you're not just there in this narrative stasis where you're like expanding the vibe and nothing happens because let's face it you know closing sales getting intimate with somebody you just met these are not things that people do on an everyday basis if you want to get if you want to learn how to do that very consistently and successfully yeah you do have to study certain techniques in certain ways of approaching it and stuff like that that's that's true but again like don't the problem I think with intellect is it gets in the way like it's ego is too big it often mistakes itself for the entire being you know it's like I'm the whole thing there is no higher observer there is no intellect there is no higher energy I am the projective modes right so it feels like it's got to be on the court the whole time it's to be a coach the coach shouldn't get butthurt because it's not on the it's not on the court right it should just make the decisions of like the roster decisions called the plays so you want to kind of like again relinquish that control for people who are very logical this can be quite upsetting because like even if they're being even if they're succeeding if they're in a peak flow state this can be very terrifying to people who are accustomed to being very logical and thinking because it feels like they are losing control and in a sense they are because you're letting it happen through you and again intuition it's it's almost like it doesn't make sense a lot of the time right it's like being shown a recipe for a cake if you didn't know what that was you'd be like what the is this like I take soy you're telling me I mean let me just get this right you're telling me I take these ingredients most of which I do too I would not like to eat separately like I'm baking soda mmm like vanilla extract like and I mix it into a thing and I pour the resulting liquid goo into a pan and heat it and I'll really enjoy it to eating what comes out that's you're telling me it's like no you have to kind of trust that process you know even Einstein he said his best ideas came to him through intuition like how he came up with a theory of relativity he had the thought he called this the happiest thought of my life that a person falling off of a roof was in motion and not in motion at the same time now that seems very you know with our understanding of relativity now seems obvious but at the time that was just like a ray of Sun that like a Eureka moment for him that opened up and he said most of the laws that he discovered were based on intuitive reasoning or lack thereof I guess right this sounds like a an artist that you had early on I don't know about journey very much by asking speed into music a lot and I'm sure you all having a favorite artist maybe the musician favorite band and their first album is usually like sick first I was amazed you have two pots ready to die for jay-z NAS like look at the reasonable doubt taste like whatever you have in the back of the first album that bad and you let because I'm gonna say now why is that purse how are usually still good why do you think it's just so pure well it's an expression well they not sure these love the moment they're just expressing that moment what's great what they love and then it's really put other comes out does amazing and then what happens tire out on level two and that already labels like the evil run illegally we wanted to do not even us it would be better than your last album not ascend the Canaries themselves like Sean Penn bands on the radio or on the radio and there is addressing the way and they can't perform the cities the same the same the same mobility that Jeff states and all the scales of music still apply all the songwriting process is still apply but if you sit down there trying to force yourself to write eight with song you probably couldn't do it because you're trans it's come with a technical solution to solve it of course no problem it's always said whatever you're stuck in your head yes it's like a lot of I senses as well I am stuck in my head I everybody I need to say what if they don't like me it's a lot of pies and these in there and then you Tony Eagles plays usually winner if you follow winner Chris mattock when you're driving you notice there's a little hint of discovery in there it's when those for myself say huh let's see what happens yeah the things too like intellect functions best when you have all the information you know I mean if it's a situation where you have all the information there's not a lot of variables or there are but you understand what they are you can process it you can come you can arrive at an informed decision in human interactions you know that is not the case the waters get a little muddy right so for example again when I'm talking to someone whatever they say my brain will just a media I will just open it up and I'll be like that and I'll trust that I will be able to riff off that in an engaging way due to the way again the way that I'm expressing it through the projective modes again through my facial expressions through my gestures and movement through space through my again the vocal tonality that I'm employing the musicality of my language etc etc that's what makes it compelling and I just trust that I'm gonna come up with some anecdote a story something IRA factoid something tangentially related right because again I might not even be consciously aware of this stuff but you know if you everyone ever heard of the this theory that the brain is holographic our memory is essentially a hologram so you know a hologram is formed anyone so basically it's through the wave interference caused by two lasers and it's something about a hologram is when like a reconstructive beam is pointed out it any small part of the image you can reconstruct the entire image from and with almost perfect accuracy unless you get to a very very very small part just from from again extrapolating it from the interference pattern so again somebody put before I forget who it was they put forth this this theory that you know was think it was a physicist slash neuroscientist I think in the late 70s of the holographic brain that essentially because there there is no place in the brain that you can point to where a memory is stored like physically there's the memory of my eighth birthday you can't do that it seems to be somehow dissipated through the entire structure itself so again this theory the way this theory goes is that perhaps our brain is sort of this oscillating resonator that takes in waves from the outside and former you know sensory stimuli and experiences and somehow stores them in this pattern and our attention is the reconstructive beam that can draw these things up out of the depths seemingly out of nowhere that can like make pattern like can compare patterns that are seemingly unrelated from many many years of your conscious experience and just I'm not very often surprised when I just let go and I'm in the middle of the conversation at the hilarious things I'm saying like oh that was good I'm hilarious you know and I think that's crucial too because like you know if you come to the hot seat you'll see I'm just like constantly laughing at myself like at the hilarious things that are coming out of my mouth I'm not trying to impress the people of interacting with if they like it great that that's even better but again the key is I'm just trying to amuse myself which is interesting because now you're not coming at it from this defensive posture where you're trying to avoid negative outcomes again avoid you know confrontation avoid embarrassment avoid loss of validation you're actually just trying to I can feel good feelings in the moment and you're sharing those feelings with them so it's a win-win it's not like this zero-sum game where I you must crack the set or I'm diminished you're just like I'm just like spreading my sweating revived enjoying myself now paradoxically the less you this is my experience the less you care about getting chemistry with people oddly enough the more you seem to have chemistry with people because they can tell you don't need it to work it's not this pressure situation where you're essentially asking them to buoy up your emotional state you're already feeling good I think the number one the number one rule of this stuff is whatever you feel they feel that's what I've always maintained I mean it's a very simplistic little little glib line but it's very true in my experience how a very truthful me come in a program and then you're like so what what do you like and if it's like I don't know alright what makes you laugh oh yeah now I see that quite a lot you know what I see more often too is uh just people are very stiff they have stiff mannerisms they have an expressive face we call it sad face serious anxious deadpan like very serious this interaction is serious business anxious I hope it works and and deadpan what I can't show won't hurt me you know and and so just breaking that and then to get very monotonous voice or they speak in certain like vocal ruts that are very repetitive and boring honestly this is this is why I developed that new program we're coming out with in February the charisma thing because I just I just saw these guys a lot of these guys they knew the technique but then they're trying to execute it with this very stiff mannerisms in expressive like face the thing is when you have that in expressive face it this emotional guardedness it's it's like a danger signal to others because there's this constant search for difference or threat so if they can't tell how you are feeling I guess my boy Derek put it once he said to a student I don't know if they want to stab me or if you want to me right which again that's not a good thing if you're trying to interact with some woman out there okay if you're just like what the what is this person thinking what is he feeling I have no access to is to any there doesn't even seem to be an inner life insofar as I can tell right so it's frightening it's just like dude I don't want to deal with it it could go either way but it's not worth the salt worth the risk so mmm very important to start to open yourself up to these ideas and just let them let them happen through you of course why is this so difficult you got understand there's a couple of reasons yeah he said why do we have to learn this stuff today well there's a very pervasive system of negative counter conditioning right social conditioning that we've we've termed it in the past it's very generalized some of those things would be self judgment judgment from others self judgement defensiveness rationalization self-centeredness scarcity confusion I think that confusion is perpetuated and again here's the question who's doing this who's responsible for these social conditionings Illuminati yes it is it this sinister cabal of mustache twirling villains on Epstein's pedo island is is that what's going on here like know or is it like is it just the way the system is right it's like the headless chicken I guess you'd call it is it just like this thing that's that's a you know come out of the void as a result as a consequence of our technology who knows it doesn't matter it doesn't matter doesn't matter if there's a sinister mustache twirling cabal or if it just is kind of how things are you have to become aware of the you know pernicious influence that this conditioning is having on you and basically what happens ultimately frozen feelings things of this nature bit like self-deceit abdication of responsibility that there's there's so much going on that and it's again it's from the media it's from your peer group it's from religious upbringing it's from corporate culture it's from the educational system etc etc it's coming at it from all directions but essentially what it's telling you the message is this be afraid of expression expressing strong emotional energies right be afraid of expressing strong emotional energies this is why I believe people cannot stand in front of someone that they they're meeting and look and look them in the eye every weekend I tell the students the clients I say stand in front and look them in the eye can you I want you to have to every person you talk to you tonight will you do it yes I will do it they believe it they believe they will do it they they genuinely believe they will do it where do you what for yes what what percentage do you think actually do it twenty forty zero closer to zero the guy who said zero I'd say maybe five percent yeah you would do it too guaranteed you'll do it too like you think you won't but you would and so what what ends up happening they're doing it but they'll stand like this and they think well I'm in the front right there no no like feel the subtle difference between me speaking to you like this and me speaking you like this like it's a subtle difference it's bullying but it's more engagement now I used to think well I didn't know why the they were doing it but now I believe that they're they're scared of it on a certain level you are scared of it because the face is the mode through which we express the most vulnerable emotional statements and especially if it's a purported romantic encounter to stand in front and look them in the eye would be to shamelessly show that intention and they can't do that right eyes are windows to the soul and all that so people are just in general very afraid of making eye contact and certainly very afraid of squaring up because we've been conditioned to not express those emotional energies and again that could be from like you know when you were a kid yelling you're like mommy will be angry if I yell they're like shut the up and so you know you're taught expressing these emotional energies is bad it can cause negative repercussions so what do you do the intellect realizes this and it calls into play certain you know like can't do by itself yeah it just shuts out like I get again the the intellect calls it calls the kinesthetic mode into play with controlling tension right because tension is what represses emotion like if you want to cry like think about our time you wanted to cry like your friend died or something your dog died right you're like just try to feel what's what's the first thing that happens we were trying to prevent it so grabbing in the throat you know you like maybe stiff upper lip you stare straight ahead you try not to blink you kind of just tight you just tighten up now if the emotions strong enough it will burst through that but if not it will be repressed now interestingly enough what happens over time the emotion does the going that energy doesn't go anywhere it doesn't disappear it's just bottled up and it might emerge later in unuseful ways let's just say or destructive ways even however again like there's this this control this this pattern that comes into play from again as you start getting these conditionings basically what happens is it's not it doesn't go away it wants to emerge more and the more it wants to emerge what happens the more tension is called in a play to repress it until eventually these tensions just become ingrained and the always there and they're basically sub-threshold you're not aware of them the guy on bootcamp who I tell to loosen up and smile he thinks he's loosening up and smiling he thinks he's being talking loud he thinks he's expressive but but he's not because it's again the tension is below his threshold of awareness because getting grain so lunch is anyone here ever done Rolfing you guys know anyone know what that is are OLF basically it's a physical physical therapy and again I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong here but basically it's like a 10-week program of essentially extreme massage where they're like manipulating your muscle tissue and your joints and stuff like that and the idea is that it's meant to unlock these repressed and or unconscious tensions and a lot of people have reported that you know once the tensions are released they remember traumatic experiences that they had repressed in their memory and again I'm not an expert on this but the idea is we're trained to repress these this expression of emotions so hard that you actually it actually becomes an error a repression expression error you begin to associate the repression of the emotion with its expression because when the impulse to express comes up the impulse to repress it almost it happens instantaneously those two events are the same moment in time for all all you know tense considerations it's like it just boom so you again think about anger if I ask you to express anger right now what would that be like like most people yeah but they've kind of do like you'd like like that that's not anger that's the repression of anger by actual anger ha it would be moving towards the the thing that Steiff steaming you or person that's interfering with you yelling threatening you know that that's anger but we're trained to mmm or sadness it would be like open balling you know crying we're trained that it just means you know that that holding of the throat and so forth so again this this stuff that's very very pervasive and it takes a long time to a become aware of it like most people who have this facial armoring they're they're completely oblivious of it their comply I can tell them and as a coach on the program or in a group setting the group can tell them which is even better because the coach might you know even though I am the coach and they've given me you know these resources or whatever then and put this you know authority you know vested this authority in me they still might not believe one person but when the whole group's telling them they might believe it more you know so it's very interesting so the first step is becoming aware the second step is releasing them right and this goes far beyond techniques man like if look we know techniques we talk technique for 17 years I've been teaching this stuff I've been teaching boot camps every weekend for 17 years is there anyone in here that's like 18 years old one guy okay if you don't know your dad I might be him so it's no two short line I still have four maybe so uh sometimes the day when they release it they go too far the other direction though too and then now they're just like completely loose right they're like they're like a shapeless you know a boneless blob or something so you know sometimes it's it's a pendulum kind of process about finding that happy medium we're so stifled you know these entanglements decides you and how to release them I definitely recommend this program for other people to like take a deeper look within themselves Debbie's programs amazing this program is extremely exercise based it's designed to give you a process to identify these weaknesses in your communicative system to open and sustain charismatic expression charismatic communication with increasing consistency all sensory communication is based on some relationship of these three perceptual and projective modes any art involving human communication is going to benefit from knowing how the communicating power of each mode can be enhanced charisma and conversational skill really hasn't had a vocabulary for talking about these issues surrounding the technique most of the books you read of the vast majority of are very like surface level very hokey and even with experienced teachers the feedback can often be very subjective and vague you seem kind of stifled so I want to change the way that these criticisms or descriptions are verbalized and get is very very specific so when we're talking about these blockages we know precisely what we're talking about here if you follow the instructions you see something very very knit and precise that happens you're gonna see the result instantaneous the best care is not programmed by the same so I actually I learned something which is very rare how do people use their energies when they communicate how can I help them become masters of those energies so when you go out you feel that blockage that inability to act or there's the person I want to talk to I know how to go talk to them I've read the theories I've watched all the videos but I can't take action what's impedin the flow remove the obstacles isolate the skills exercise them separately then put them together back together in a more completely realized whole you know unleashes your your true charisma and in fact you have some clips of energy you can manage on the on the world side increase its decreases manage it seriously it was absolutely amazing and astonishing how to speak to all the issues surrounding this interrelationship between intuitive and intellectual resources is arguably the most fundamental challenge facing anyone who's attempting to improve their communication skills so this program intends to prepare your total instrument to open and communicate freely but also teach you to let go she will take you by the hand and guide you step by step we'll choose method that he's been trying and improving and you're gonna get the results that you want to be looking for overall this is a really broad spectrum course in charisma I think I can apply it in my dating life also in business and other areas of my life so if you're looking to develop general charisma you can apply across all areas of life definitely check out Jeff's curriculum mastery [Music]

Channel: Madison Monroe

Views: 12,738

Rating: 4.8717947 out of 5

Keywords: jeffy, jlaix, mrmadison, madison, charisma, charismatic, How To NEVER Run Out Of Things To Sa, never run out of things to say, charisma mastery, POWER Of INTUITION, how to be charismatic

Id: gEKapNRvRY4

Length: 46min 48sec (2808 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 23 2020