So you wanna be cool like me-this guy... Well, lemme tell you, it ain't coming easy boy...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You can't just walk up and be like "hey, I'm cool".. I know what you're thinking. "How did he get so uh... cool?" (⌐■_■) "How did he... get so... fresh?" "and... how does he stay so humble?" Instructional Videos ♫One, two, three! I grab the key to my daughter's ride...♫ ♫And took my girl down by the riverside♫ ♫I'm goin' up. Upside down, I'm goin' up! Upside down.♫ Owh (⌐■_■) Instruction man: and then sit on a couch or a chair upside down Instruction man: in this position your chin is the instruction man: performer's nose. Now the key to making-
Felix: HOLY SHIT! Instruction man: upside-down face look like it's really singing Instruction man: is to cover your lower teeth with your lower lip
Felix: That's so cool! Instruction man: and expose your upper teeth Instruction man: with your upper lip! Instruction man: Then cut loose. Instruction man: This will take some practice, Instruction man: but you'll soon be showing off the hits to your friends, like this! ♫One, two, three! I grab the key to my daughter's ride...♫ Oh, it looks so good.. *airhorn* Hey whatsup dawg, it's ya boi, Jackseptic-ugh! *airhorn* It's DJ Kha- ♫Funky music♫ Instruction man: *Vocal drum noises* XD Oh my god... oh my god Number one, why does he look like me? *dramatic sound* Number two, why is he cringey like me? ♫Funky music♫ Instruction man: *Vocal drum noises* It's your friendly neighborhood Pewdiepie here! Number three, is that my dad?! That's my dad! ♫Funky music♫ Instruction man: *Vocal drum noises* *Felix show up his talent* Anyway guys!
*laughs* He's going to talk about beat boxing, please. Please talk about beat boxing. MAN: ...beatbox-
FELIX: YES! :) MAN: I have my own theme music when I walk, right? *beatbox* He has his own theme music, when he walks. He has his own theme music, thank you. *Felix imitates the man beat boxing* This guy's so fucking slick. This is like the cooler version of me just look at him. MAN: I have my own theme music when I walk. Who has a theme thsong - song for when they walk. I bet you don't have. *beat boxing* (pls stahp XD) I bet his hair is not naturally blonde like mine though. MAN: When I walk in the street, *deep voice* I'm looking good.
FELIX: *shouting* What ?! Who is this guy and why is he me?! Get away from me, what the fuck. *laughing* What is happening? What is happening? I can't Now here's how you can make your own beatbox sound. FELIX: Ok. MAN: First practice doing a "bUH" sound, explosively as you can. FELIX: Alright. MAN: Here it is. bUH BUH BUH BUH FELIX: buh buh buh buh Alright, alright what else? MAN: Try that. BOTH: bUH buh buh MAN: Now make a hard "kay" out in the back of your mouth. Kuh kuh *Felix joins in* kuh kuh Now, put the two together, and you get this. *Felix tries to mimic him but starts laughing* Now, you- FELIX: What am I supposed to do it together what the fuck *beat boxing* *deep voice* See I think it's party time. *beat boxing* FELIX: *on top of the beat boxing* Ah the cringe *beat boxing* FELIX: What is happening? *beat boxing* *Felix beat boxing* *very smol gun noise* *Felix groans* *laughing* You always time it so badly. See i think it's party time FELIX: *making fun of the way he said it* See i think it's party time *beatboxing* (pewds spit coming out) Break it down. B-b-b-brea- break it down now. to me now eager(??) now *repeated airhorns and Felix beat boxing with the man talking in the background* *my name is Jeff clip plays over everything else* I've learned- I've learned so much already. Honestly, like I feel indulged. I feel like- I feel like my life is better. BOY: Now here's a quick one you can do while waiting for your hamburger to be served. FELIX: All right. Fine, I've been looking for a long time for a quick one when my hamburger is getting served. Okay let's see why- what else do you got cuz the string trick.. I don't think you can beat the string trick. The string trick it ahAH Fuck, it scared me. BOY: ..aaand, the Big Finish ... ta-dah. ♫One, two, three♫ BOY: First, crinkle down the paper so take(??) it from the top, and you crinkle up from the bottom. FELIX: *yelling* Ohhh!! BOY: 'Til you get a nice, tight coil. FELIX: Why the sexy porn music? BOY: Next, get a drop of water or other- some other kind of beverage, drop on the ... wrapper, and voila, straw worm. Okay, so ,our fans, watch out now for the incredible- FELIX: *over the boy* Oh my gawwwd *clap* Dude, I'm going to get a burger right fucking now to try out that string worm shit, cuz that's- that's just not cool. That's.. science cool ♫One, two, three♫ ♫I grab the key to my daughter's ride♫ MAN: -vanish into thin air. FELIX: It's going to vanish into thin air. How?! How is it going to do it? I'm going to MAN: I'm gonna show you how to do this. FELIX: He's gonna show us how to do it! *whispering* Fuck. Yes. Yes... Yes. Okay, alright(??) *puppy barks to the Illuminati theme* MAN: We are.. on this side of the stairs, or on this- FELIX: Wait then where's the stairs? MAN: It's not a stairs, is it? It's a hedge. And over there is somebody else, and they don't know what's going to happen, and what we're going to do is walk down the hedge- *Felix starts laughing* It just hit me like, this is the kind of shit that I-I remember too when I was a kid like, pre-internet. This is pre-internet area, you would do shit like this and it would be like, "Dawg, that is the coolest shit I have ever seen." Today it's like, "Hey have you seen this gif?" *laughs* MAN: Like this, we take a step behind, we bend the knee. The body stays straight. We take another step, we go down a little further. We take another step, we go down a little further, until finally, we're down here. Now if we get down here and you still have a ways to go, you can fake the rest of it with your upper body in your head like this... until you disappear. FELIX: Holy shit, that's- Okay i gotta try this. I gotta try this, I gotta try this one. Okay, do you see- You don't, you don't see me now. Okay, *cheerful tone* Hey, guys! It's me, Felix, going downstairs. *laughs* I thought it looked cool. I don't know, whatever. WOMAN:: *thud* OHH. Ah.. ah, *sniff* Now the secret to this one- FELIX: Wait, wh- She didn't get hurt. That's hilarious, pinnacle of comedy. Door face slam. Why have I not thought of that? I don't even have a door. I need to install a door. WOMAN: -foot in front of you as you exit, so that you kick the door. Then pretend that you've just walked into it headfirst! Now first, practice this slowly and carefully to get your timing right, and then, add in a real loud *groans* so that you fool everyone. FELIX: This is why parents are so cringy, I they- they've been trained by these people. WOMAN: And make sure you're wearing your shoes on this one. *thud* Oof, ohhh. Ohhh FELIX: Dude, that's so goofy. That's so crazy. Loo- Look oh good. *thud* Was that- I- Okay, I need to practice a little bit. All right- *chuckle* All right, guys, this has been this season. *thud* OhhHh. WOMAN: Hey, little boy! Hey! *woman makes weird growling noises* *frantic tone* Hey! Get back! *continues growling* Get back! Get back! MAN'S VOICE: Now how does she do that? FELIX: Now how did she do that? Are they (I can't tell what he says here, sorry) How? WOMAN: Pretend.. that you have a dog, pulling on your pant leg. So you position yourself behind the door. *Felix starts chuckling* I can- *laughs* I can literally imagine, like, myself, like 12, watching this and thinking like, "That's hilarious. I gotta try that." And then you try it off, and then it's just the cringiest thing ever, and then it's the kind of thing that y-you regret, literally, your whole life. 26 years ol- 27, you still remember that one moment that you did this thing you thought would be cool but it's literally just.. cringey piece of shit and you look like a moron. ♫Taking away.. but I don't know what- what to say-♫ aAaahhh WOMAN: Like this: *starts growling* Get down or-! *growling* Get- Get back! *growling* *thud* *whispering* Oh my god, the cringe, the cringe is real. MAN: Wherever I go, I always take my bicycle horn with me. *honk* WHHHAT Wait a minute. How'd he dO that? *honk* MAN: And the sensory(??) Alfonso the Finger! One(??) of a long line of finer contortionists- FELIX: Wait, what is he doing? MAN: -Alfonso is about to perform the amazing finger tangle. FELIX: The finger tangle. MAN: Now, let's see that amazing feat quickly! FELIX: Okay. MAN: -n slow motion. FELIX: Quickly in slow motion. Okay. MAN: See how Alfonso the Finger switches his two index fingers to make this fabulous feat ..work. ♫One, two, three♫ FELIX: *singing* Taaaake ooon meee
