How to Be Irreplaceable in Love AND Invincible in Life (Matthew Hussey)

well jameson and i were just filming a welcome video for all of the attendees of our virtual retreat which is our big annual flagship event that's about life transformation not people's love lives people's entire lives if by the way you don't know about it or you haven't got your ticket yet and you want me to coach you through immersion for three days in every part of your life i'll leave a link here go check it out but whilst we were recording those videos we had an idea for a video that we could make that was tied into that because that's where my head's at right now is not dating advice but bigger life advice i truly believe that the concept i'm about to give you is one of the master keys to living an extraordinary life and having extraordinary impact in life whether it's the impact of attraction getting someone attracted to us or whether it's the impact of making a difference in the world or building something but let me take you through this in life there are things that early on we got good at or things that we got rewarded for for some of us it's our ambition for some of us it's an early age we made more money than our peers for some of us it's that we made people laugh more than other people did we were funnier than other people whatever it was that we got rewarded for early that validation made us want to do that thing more it became almost an addiction and it might have even been a positive addiction you know if you get addicted to achieving because people give you a lot of reward for it then you can go on to achieve some very big things the problem is that the areas of life where we get validation can easily become our mutations i want you to write this down i'm going to this is going to be like a mini seminar right now in this video it's not going to be like my typical blog video where i sit on a sofa and speak so our validations can become our mutations our validations become our mutations meaning when we get comfortable being rewarded for a certain thing in our life we keep doing that thing it doesn't mean doing that thing is easy if you get validated for being a high achiever it doesn't mean continuing to be a high achiever is easy it just means we get real comfortable there getting our validation and these mutations then create distortions in our personality where all of a sudden our entire identity can be built around one thing now what's the problem with that when your identity is heavily rooted in one thing that can now become our weakness christopher hitchens said when talking about relationships he said the the skill of relationships is not allowing your strengths to negate themselves meaning what once made us strong can actually make us weak if we come to over rely on it what happens to the person who spends all day in the gym and that's how they get their validation and then they get injured if they don't develop identity in other areas that can now be the death of their identity and therefore the death of their confidence their happiness and their sense of internal security the solution to these mutations is to develop other areas whether they're external parts of our life or their other parts of our personality so that we can create unique pairings now let me explain what unique pairings are unique pairings are fascinating a unique pairing is when you find two different things two different personality traits or interests in the same person that you don't normally find in the same person when we meet someone who's sexy but they can also be goofy and silly that's a unique pairing when we meet someone who takes care of their body and presents themselves really well they're well groomed and they look great but they're also intellectual and they care about deeper pursuits that's a unique pairing when we meet someone who's a hard worker but they can also go out there and play and have adventures and be spontaneous that's a unique pairing we see these unique pairings in all different people and if you think about certain friends of yours or someone you're in love with or certain family members that you adore i guarantee you'll be able to find unique pairings that make you really adore that person one great quality can attract someone it can get someone's attention if you're super sexy you can get someone's attention if you're super successful you can get someone's attention if you're very funny you can get someone's attention but that's not what holds someone one quality doesn't hold someone what holds someone are unique pairings let's think of this on a meta level once upon a time you watched me because i made a dating video right maybe five years ago 10 years ago or maybe last week maybe five minutes ago you were watching me in a different video where you go oh man this guy's got great dating advice and then you come to this video and you see this and you're like holy [ __ ] there's now is now he's going to this beat now he could talk about this now you see unique pairing that's what holds someone i could only hold you for so long by giving you a flirting tip but now you realize i could talk about this as well all right now i'm watching next week's video when people see that we're constantly developing constantly evolving constantly developing more pairings we become this irreplaceable force in their life we become someone that it's a i don't want to use the word addiction in this context but we become someone that they say man i can't give this person up i got to keep going on the journey so it's these unique pairings that make us an unbelievable package to someone else an irreplaceable package to somebody else they are the key to people falling in love they're also the keys to people maintaining the passion when they've been in love for a long time but on an internal level unique pairings also make us impervious to things going wrong in our lives they are the ultimate defense to change to not being able to do the same things you used to do to parts of your life going wrong being taken away when you have unique pairings you become invincible because you've always got legs under the table that can support you if one leg breaks you know all of a sudden you get injured and you can't work out that was a source of your confidence doesn't matter because you have all these unique pairings you're into this and that and the other and this thing gives you purpose and this thing gives you confidence and this is a part of you you really value all of a sudden you've got legs under the table that can support you someone decides they don't want to be with you anymore in a relationship you've got all these other legs under the table that support you you're not just one thing you're not a one-trick pony in life your value isn't your relationship and that's true of our personality too you can have a part of your personality that you know maybe you came to rely on you know you what's what happens to a lot of comedians right they feel like i'll be funny all the time because that's where my value is but all of a sudden if your whole value doesn't come from one thing if it comes from the books you've read if it comes from the per the energy you bring to a room in a different way if it comes from the kindness that you bring if it comes from the work that you're doing with people if it whatever it may be all of a sudden you don't feel like you have to be funny at the dinner table even if that's how you make a living because there are other legs under the table this is the mark guys i'm telling you this is the master key one of them i think there are only like four or five things in life if you really boil it down there's like four or five things in life that if you know those life gets a lot easier a lot better you can create an extraordinary life on like five truths this is one of them this is one of the master keys to living an extraordinary life and if you're watching this and you're like man i need to create more unique pairings for myself i want to start living a bigger life i want to start writing a different story for myself than the one that i've been writing all along the one that's comfortable the one that's become my mutation then we're going to be doing that on the virtual retreat together i'm literally going to give you a blueprint for doing this and we're going to spend three days of coaching immersion working through everything in your life to create an amazing story because that's what we all want to do isn't it ultimately we all have different goals here everyone watching this video has something different they want but they're all versions of the same thing because whether it's you're looking for a relationship right now or more financial freedom or a better body or a change in your life because you're bored of what you're doing or you're looking for more internal confidence or happiness we're all looking for the same thing we want a great story we want to be able to tell a great story at the end of our lives of what that life meant of what we did with it of the impact we made and we want to enjoy the story because when this story is not going to last forever right this story is is tragically short and we want to make the most of it while we have it so if you want to do that with me i have a process that i have refined and refined and refined and refined over 14 years to show you how to do that and i'm going to walk you through it step by step over the three days on the virtual retreat i'll leave a link here if you're not signed up yet or if you're just hearing about it for the first time do not miss it it's a live event it's not something you can do two weeks later it's a live event that is happening on march the 19th to the 21st i will see you there you

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 237,924

Keywords: matthew hussey, retreat, matthew hussey retreat, dating advice for women, self esteem, tony robbins, date with destiny, personal dynamics, seminar, self help, coaching, training, women’s retreat, high value woman, Matt Hussey, Get the guy, how to get the guy, attract men, keep your man, dating coach, relationship coach, relationship tips, what men want, make him like you, make him love you, how to talk to men, core confidence, personal growth motivation, life coaching

Id: 9z78wt6zZ4s

Length: 10min 29sec (629 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 06 2021