How To Attract the Right Mate

thanks again for being here thanks for those of you joining us online thanks for you in England that's joining us in down under Australia I see you Australia I hope you all are doing well thanks being Canada joining us and thanks for you all over the great United States will everybody stand if you don't mind let's read the word of the Lord see what he has to say to us on today we're gonna hang out in Genesis chapter 2 we're gonna read verse 18 then we're gonna slip down to about verse 20 and 21 let's see he's gonna the Lord's gonna say four things about this passage and I'm gonna highlight all four things that he says so why don't everybody read if you're at home read with us to everybody together as loud as you can then stop stop stop that's not everybody I need everybody to read together alright everybody we're reading the word of the Lord it's his word to you today here we go one two three here then the Lord God said it is not good man to be alone I will make him a helper suitable for him what's the first phrase remember this one I'm gonna ask a couple of times then and say with me the Lord God said one more time then the Lord God said alright remember that next verse here we go so the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place second thing God said read it with me so the Lord God okay the first one was so the Lord God second one so the Lord God so he said something then he caused something all right let's go to number three next verse here we go the Lord God into a no no what's the text you got to know how to read the Bible okay when it comes to man that the Bible says the Lord God made man he just picked some dust up some dirt man not so with woman when it came to woman he he took out his his best creative juices and he and he began and he began some fashioning when it comes to when it comes to us brothers God said you know what it meant not so with a woman when when he comes to the woman he's got he got to do something then step back okay alright then he got to do something else a little piece right there okay because he's fashioning something he's getting to fashioning something alright that's what he did sister so so just be grateful already I got something praise God for right there he fashioned you fashion here mm-hmm let me see how much scrapping you do today but he fashioned you and so I'm setting you up I just mean I'm setting you up anyway the Lord God fashion so number one the Lord God said then the Lord God cause I know the Lord God and you got it don't miss them before the Lord God brought her to the man my god your mama didn't bring you to him you know your girlfriend's didn't bring you to him the Lord God brought her to the me my god there it is alright let's see if you got number one then the Lord God said number two the Lord God number three the Lord God you love the fashion but here's if you like this far the Lord God brought now is another question to have now in this in this in this in this hookup God is all over this hookup all over he's all inside of it he mix in God's all over it I want its gun in yours the dude you're dating right now ladies it's got all over that or you just go to God when he ain't acting right I mister mister mister it's got all over your relationship oh oh oh once you goin buck while you know what Jesus come on I need your help do you only go to him when stuff go down or is he on the front side back side all around your relationship that's what I want to know the text is suggesting he should be all over this thing when you get when we need a relationship God says I don't want to be on the periphery I want to be in the center of this thing so he said so he says one more time the Lord God said then the Lord God cause then the Lord God fashioned and then the Lord God brought all right to them let's see if we can get this mm-hmm if you're happy and you're single say Amen we are we gonna find out or we gonna find out today oh we won't find out today hold on put your seatbelts on buckle up here we go let's pray we got Jesus Jesus we need you today prepare every heart everyone prepare all of our hearts God please so that we can hear from you remove all the distractions remove my idiosyncrasies so that people can your people can hear from you thanks for the opportunity around your word today make us better because of it by the power of the Holy Spirit in Jesus name everybody said I let me tell you who I'm talking to today so that there is no ambiguity if you here today and you're 15 all the way through 25 it means you're single and and you're single then I'm talking to you some people don't know they single you do know that right some do I have to tell them and remind you of all of the you who are single number two if you are if you are single with kids you still single so don't say you you know I'm different than singles if you got kids and you single you single you got that if you were single you got married then you got a divorce you are single if you are 64 and have kids and grandkids but you don't have a ring on by somebody that is steal your husband then you're single no matter how old you are you're still single single okay if you are if you are a single female or a single male and your spouse fast you are still stay with me you got it just get to the most sophisticated ones if you are dating somebody but he has not yet put a ring on it you are still even the kids know it you still don't know but even the kids I got a couple more to go if you are a male or female you don't have a ring on your finger but every two weeks you have somebody coming over and you sleep in or then you still if you have a roommate that come home with you every night and when things are good y'all sleep together but when things not good you sleep in separate rooms are on the couch you are still you notice how the response gets weaker and weaker you notice I'm tell you why cuz cuz some of you in it you know like the the the line of this argument you don't like but it's okay it's good for your soul today sometimes the singles today the reason conferencing is because I am convinced that the enemy knows that you are God's number one weapon of choice against the kingdom of darkness and because the enemy knows that he is doing everything he can to get you distracted to have you marry the wrong person to have you focused on yourself and forgot to forget God's kingdom purposes so that he can distract you away from what God wants you to do and I am waging war spiritually against the kingdom of darkness today all weekend long I've been waging war he's been tough to get through it to some people looking at me crazy too if looks could cut at a bit sliced into but I'm scared another y'all not one of y'all am I scared up not one here we go so I won't talk to you about it let me tell you why because I'm convinced that too many pastors got married so early they don't know what it feels like to be to be 30 and signa to be 40 and single to be 50 and singles to be 60 and to be 70 and sick so they just leave it alone and expect that you will figure it out all on your own so then you go to Oprah and you go to Oprah super soul Sunday get all spiritual thinking that will help you through this season oh I'm going to no more did I not tell you more today and I ain't scared so the reason I'm doing this is because I believe with all my heart that God has a clear plan for you and I don't want you to miss it I am convinced that we have a divorce problem because of a dating problem and because we don't know how to get hooked up correctly then we get in listen we get in marriage because we want to be happy so we lower our standards to be happy and then you get a divorce because you still want to be happy and the fool in making you happy so you're gonna leave him because of it let me give you some notice I don't need none of y'all's help today I'm gonna preach this like nobody's in the room I'm gonna just tell it y'all go yeah you know don't even shop for nothing I say clap just sit like this so I have four spiritual sons for spiritual daughters and I'm gonna tell you today what I told them that's so my first sermon in this whole series is I'm gonna tell you today what I expect of them I'm gonna tell you what my expectation of them are because I think is what God expects of you so here we go put your seat belt on let's see if we can get through this today here we go you need some notes if you don't have them or you need these today oh you're gonna keep this note see ya when I come to you how I'm gonna see this in your house cuz you need this today so if you don't have one put your hand all the way up and our man and woman will come by and get you one if you see our brother put his hand up give him two [Music] here we go come on we gotta go we gotta go we gotta wind won't be here all day here we go so what I'm trying to answer today is the question how do you how do you set yourself up for success how do you find the right person how do you how do you go about preparing yourself to be the right persons all those questions here we go I'm gonna give you eight things for you to talk about you can talk about them in a small group you can talk about them by the way couples couples let me couples listen since if you got kids or grandkids you better teach them this early don't wait till a smooth-talking dude comes knocking at the door you gotta teach them this stuff early the reason many of us grown folk made so many mistakes is because our parents didn't teach us how to handle these treacherous waters and because we were silent cuz we didn't know what to do they do what comes naturally which is to walk in the flesh so you got to prepare people for that and train them so here we go number one number one no more no more oh my god make Jesus Christ your best friend make Jesus a promise you this sounds so simple and you're missing it make Jesus Christ your best friend let me tell you what I mean by that my Bible says you ought to love the Lord your God with all your heart all your mind and all his soul in other words there should be no relationship that you have that is closer than your relationship with Jesus that's what the Bible expects of you this is huge so therefore you need to have such a close relationship with God that that you that you have a intimate relationship with him well how do you have an intimate relationship with anybody anytime you need consistency and you need the ups and downs of life so you can see that they're not going anywhere when it's up and they're not going anywhere when it's not I'm they gonna love you on your best day and they're going to love you on your worst day and Jesus says I love you not because of your behavior but because of my character and I love you just because of who you are Jesus says you must never love somebody based on performance you must love them based on your character ladies and gentlemen every time somebody comes into my office and they're struggling as a couple the reason they're struggling is because they don't have a best friend in Jesus and they don't know how to take their stuff to Jesus and when you don't know how to do that then you take everything out on your spouse listen to me please I'm begging you 9 out of 10 people that I counseled 9 out of 10 they don't know how to have a great relationship with Jesus because Jesus is not their best friend let me explain what I mean the challenge with this deal is this the ups and downs of life will happen and when they do it is your responsibility and your job to make sure that you are loving this person based on who God created you to be not based on how they perform if you do it based on how they perform it means that then on the good days you gonna love them and everything is gonna be great and on the bad days you're gonna withhold your love because they're not doing what you want them to do that's a dangerous place to be so now you have couples walking around I ain't sleeping with you because you weren't doing what I want the kitchen don't clean that kitchen up and you can get some you don't keep in the kitchen up you ain't getting none that's because it's a performance space no this is huge you don't want God to treat you like that you want God to love you regardless of what you do so God says I'm gonna love you on your best day and I'm gonna love you on your worst day listen now he says just as I have loved you now you go love your spouse but if you don't know how God loves you and you've never fully appreciated it then you can't possibly know how to love your spouse the way you're supposed to that's why you start with making Jesus your best friend let me explain it a little deeper see when you go to God and you're let's talk about somebody who's married now and you're going through a difficult time in your marriage what's supposed to happen is you're supposed to when you get ticked off and you get frustrated because they're doing something that hurting you and they're doing something you've asked them to do 100 times but they still don't want to do what you're supposed to do is go to your best friend you're supposed to go to your best friend say hey best friend I'm having a hard time with this someone's got your best friend say hey best friend man and your best friend supposed to listen and your best friend supposed to then speak that gesture hey I got your back and you're supposed to pour your heart out to your best friend and then your best friend supposed to walk with you through this deal listen to me so when you come over here now and you're saying I can't stand it whenever you start complaining it means you you are at the peak of your capacity listen no missus whenever he had a piece of your act at the peak of your capacity you're then supposed to go back to God and say God will you expand my capacity so I can deal with that scenario and when you pour your heart out God will then fill you so you have the wherewithal to come back into this relationship and give out of your overflow but if you don't have a relationship with God to do that then you're going to be overflowing but you're overflowing with the flesh so you're gonna try and get even and you're gonna try and tell them they got to do what you want them to do or else you're leaving and it's because you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ link I'm promise you this and singles you better learn this now because if you don't learn it now ain't nobody there to pressure you now you can learn it now all by yourself god I need a man good go ask him God I need one now god I need a woman all the woman's I've been married and divorced four times and I need a now get it right and Jesus I need some yeah you need to go ask Jesus for the capacity to go love somebody the way he loves you but you can't do it if you don't have a relationship with you son if he's not your best friend many people don't know how to have a best friend and because you don't know how to have a best friend no wonder you can't make it in long-term relationships because you don't even know if if you can love Jesus who love you regardless how the heck you're gonna love somebody who love you maybe if you're performing right it's the tell-tale sign as to whether or not you are ready for a relationship tell me about your relationship with Jesus what happens when stuff go down and you'd hate it if you can't pour your burdens out to God and then leave them there and come back outside I love this person and not bring back up what you just told Jesus but love them because he's given you a new capacity then you're an accident waiting to happen I'm telling you you must work on your relationship with Jesus here's why because many of you operate based on feelings and not based on faith your feelings drives everything you do that's why when you go to work and they don't do what you want that's why everything that happens in our culture every two weeks there's a big news story and your feelings rise up and you're operating based on feelings instead of Jesus let me come over to my closet I need your help in this one because that don't make sense I cannot follow me I don't understand it I hate the situation and Jesus says hey trust me and here's what's happening your faith is read increased now I can come out of my closet and because I have the right perspective I can go into a conversation with you now and don't get mad at you because I've already cast all my tears on Jesus we need to learn to do that more and the better you get at doing that the healthier your relationships are going to be because too many of you if it's going good you're great and you're blessed and highly favored if it's going bad you don't even want to go to church because you're mad at the world and it's because you don't know how to have a relationship with Jesus he says I want you to be my best friend he said I want you to depend on me for everything but you don't know how to do because you've never cultivated if you're here today and you're single I'm telling you the best thing you can do is that you want to be able to get better at this you know why because you want and you should be begging god that's your potential future spouse is learning the same thing so that when you dot when it's not your brightest day they can go to God and say God I need help it's not her brightest day but I gotta love her anyway just like you love me so God thank you for being a rock and a solid foundation upon which I can build my life and thank you for giving me the capacity and reminding me my job is to love her on their good days I don't know her bad days and on our in-between days so thank you God for the renewed strength so I can go and show this moment well your lover looks like you don't get that until you have a relationship with Jesus so you can put together all these but without the relationship with Jesus you playing a game and you're going to get back can I get a witness one y'all silence y'all good so far that's just number one here we go let's go to number two number two says this number to remind just before we go to number get into the master here's what here's number one remind us which leads us to number two he says I want you to first have a relationship with your master this is the three blanks on number one I first want you to have a relationship with your master that you're best friends with him after that they don't want you to make sure you know your mission you got to know what I've got that's why we did a whole series call no you're why I want you to know you're why every single person that does not know their why it's like a ship without a rudder you just you just you just go and aimlessly into nothing because you don't know what God's left you here on the planet to do he's given you a mission and you need to know the mission mister he says get to know me have a great relationship with me then I will give you your mission and then you're going to need your mates to help you accomplish your mission that's what the Bible says Psalm 34 it says magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together if your spouse can't help you magnify the Lord you got the wrong spouse he says don't don't forget to order you got to make sure they know me and have a personal relation with me you got to make sure they have a mission that are calling on their life they know they're why and then and only then can you get them amen do not ever go after a girl if you don't know what God's call need to do you're not ready yet what's you what you need or help for what do you need our help for gentlemen you don't need our help what you are is you're lusting after a woman and you just want some tail that's all that is and if all you want is tail it's PG it's PG if all you want is some tail God said you weren't ready for a mate yet you know why you're not ready cuz if only one is something I'm telling you when you smell her breath in the morning and it is absolutely funky you don't want no tail that you got to have a mission bigger than Earth stinky breath that you can say God let's go get our mission done you know why you just don't want to go listen you know I just don't want to go after tail because in this culture everything you see it real am I talking about am I talking now watch it dog they got padding for everything you know what I'm done well don't you worry about it I'm just telling you you got to make sure that what you see is real that's why you don't build your whole life just based on what you see because they will take everything off after you get married to them and then all the stuff you start they had they didn't have it was somebody else's I better leave me alone today I'm just telling you leave me the heck alone to die so you got no emissions number two here's no matter no matter no come on I gotta go watch these two ooh don't miss this may Jesus your best friend number two make sure you love your life let's stop the I don't want to go no further too many L don't like your life you don't like your life at all and because you don't like your life ain't nobody else should like you if you don't like your life why should I like your life you need to love love how do I love my life you love your life by having a great relationship with Jesus so that you love know how he made you and you know your favorite and wonderfully made then have a mission that he's called you to so you fulfilling the purpose for which he has left you here I'm not taking you up to heaven and then you enjoy your life doing that if you don't do that ladies and gentlemen I'm telling you you're going to lower your standard and get somebody that is that on the journey that you're on and you're going to do it out of your desperation and you're going to do it because you just want a warm body beside you there are too many people have it all the way going on they have it all ladies you know they climb the corporate ladder things are looking good and everything and they got the right good job and they got a good house and a car and they got a good 401k package and things are going good but every time they get invited to the evening dinners everybody else boot up and they ain't glued up and they be like Jesus I need me a boot cause I just looked different when all of them boot up now listen you don't even know that all of them are Buddha they don't even live with each other anymore each other it's a whole big game but you're letting your life that's raggedy influence you and make you make a decision to lower your standard so that you can get invited to the company parties and then you go to the party but since your load your standard the Joker can't talk so now you go and they say yes sir how are you mr. song so see you I totally don't fool with me today cuz I'm telling you all the truth and whether you like it or not you gonna hear it in the name of Jesus no apologies not today you finna get it cause it's the truth nobody won't tell you so I'm gonna tell you hallelujah preach pastor you see because your marriage should be purpose driven not preference driven no let me tell you what preferences well pastor he's gotta be six feet four inches tall and he just when I'm in my heels I need to be right by his ears and he can't be shorter he got to be taller than me he and Pat he got I mean we just got to look right oh I could stay there for a minute but it would have to be a couple's retreat because this would go into PG cars you don't have to I can't believe I'm gonna say this yeah you got it I don't need to say none else I want me the same yes you know exactly what I'm talking about and if you don't you ain't supposed to know anyway let's keep going let's keep let's keep going y'all get me distracted come on back up reference his teeth got to be just right really teeth really you can fix teeth you can't fix character past I'm just telling you man I got something about this man yeah I mean I mean I mean she gotta know how to put on makeup on right that's I mean I can't handle a girl I can't but I don't do no makeup I guess she got to have some makeup she got to know how to paint did how to patch it how to lead it she got to know how to put that thing together past I just can't handle it gentleman I'm just telling you I'm just telling you you can get a stylist in to help her put that thing on you can you can pay for that here's what you can't pay for a raggedy character you can't pay for that all right that makes sense so be careful when you say well he has to have this kind of body she got to have this kind of body anyways she got it she gotta be careful about your preferences because preferences them in two years for sure in ten years all your preferences are gone every last one of them and take all the stuff you don't know she got he got he got to dem muscles ain't goin me tough all his life I help somebody if couples will tell the truth they would scream right now they just can't scream because there's Simon your match must be Purpose Driven why did God leave you here on planet Earth and if you don't know that don't ask God for no mate you need to know that why did God leave you here woman when you know your purpose listen when you know your purpose it helps you determine if this knucklehead is for you because you're running in your purpose so God's gonna say god this one I know you've called me to do so you're not going to call a man see hear this some of you hear God God God call me to go overseas and be a missionary and then you're married you're married Nathan and Nathan be talking about well God called me here to make some money here so I ain't going overseas I'm living here so now because of your desperation you just like Oh Nathan look so it's okay Nate come on over here nerdy come on over here and so you marinate and then saying anything I just felt the inkling that we should go to Southeast Asia I feel nothing I feel called to South Dallas so we're gonna go to soundex now all of a sudden you can't even do what God's called you to do so you have to lower your life to a second-class citizen to pull off what your husband that you chose cause God in Jerusalem you chose and now you have to honor the covenant that you made to God so then so then don't get mad don't get mad you made it you made that choice and because you made a choice because you didn't know your purpose now you just go with somebody because they're a warm body I said no you can't even do a God's called you to do because you didn't either know it or you knew it and you intentionally ignored it because you wanted a man more than you wanted God's mission for your life number three I gotta go cause you're offering to make me preach this till five o'clock today here we go number three watch number three make sure you own oh my god your emotional hurts make sure your own emotional hurts are healed listen watches you have some hurts history of betrayal family baggage sexual issues insecurities you have emotional leads attention you just want so much attention and here's only telling everybody that your daddy daddy didn't tell you enough so no you're gonna squeeze it out of me deal what you're hurt deal with your baggage financial stability admiration transparent relationship you don't know how to be open and honest affection family stability this is so huge this is so you listen in marriage oh here's all marriage do whatever your drama is marriage won't blow it up that's what I want loser says the best thing for your sanctification is for you to get married why because it's in marriage that you have to deal with your issues when they get blown up it's embarrass that you have to deal with it watch what he says he says I want you to deal with your interest because the problem is that often times you're going to come into a marriage and now you're going to demand of the other person listen you're going to demand of the other person that they meet your needs and you're going to make them meet it and it's going to start out as well this is a nice to have and then it's gonna be a half to have and then it's gonna be a burden it's gonna start out it's an expectation but it's going to move from an expectation so now it's going to be a burden and if you don't meet my need then I believe it that's what it's going to be a proper it's easy when you're dating somebody it's easy when you're dating somebody hey baby I'm gonna carry you you got some hurts I got you covered girl oh girl you hurting financially you don't have to worry I'm gonna provide for you you hurt anymore you need some stroking good almost stroke you go everything you need you need some admiration girl you find everything about you fine girl you need somebody to touch you cause you you know you love I'm gonna touch you all day long but listen listen listen listen after about two weeks that's tiring so the joke will be like listen girl you have to deal with your issues and I got to deal with my issues but listen girl I got issues too and I can't be walking around with your issues all day long you better deal with your issues I'll go to God or something but you got to deal with your issues anybody what you upgrade to tailor long go to Jesus and get your own stuff that way I'm a line I'm telling you deal with your own do you hear me [Laughter] y'all crazy y'all are crazy whatever it is Circle it right now and say I'm gonna deal with it I'm not gonna bring it into this marriage God the reason you have me waiting scars you want me to deal with this now seriously y'all men deal with your drama she is not your mama she will never be your mama I don't care who your mama is she ain't your mama so I know your mama you just stroke your little egos maybe you're gonna be the baby I know you go to this lady on everything can you tell me I'm the best can you tell me I'm the best can you tell me but grow up Joker she told you four times yesterday we don't feel like she said it anytime that's because you had knees greater than she can meet go to Jesus let him be your best friend so he can pour into you so that you didn't have something to give preach pastor three oh I'm telling somebody today I just broke up a relationship that's right there I'm really really this is not a joke y'all I'm so serious we have a divorce problem because we have a dating problem because people don't count the cost before they get married really do so deal with your emotional baggage circle the ones you have and if it's all of them just circle all of them and say I need some help go see a counselor now because once you get married once you get married it gets bigger and now every morning you get up every morning the same issues still there so deal with it when you're by yourself right now you get up in the morning look over it's another pillar praise the Lord you need to know when to praise God you really do you're not praising God for your season right now and you should be because if somebody else was in your life they'd be telling you every day what you need to fix and they would get on your ass and nerve you get to fix it without somebody being right up in your face you get to let God work on who you are all right where were you number four wheeling that number four come on let's go number four number four number four let me move this cause it's scaring somebody over here you know what he's so funny you gotta watch where you touch when you're moving this you know the babies anyway let's go let's go all right here we go don't follow me now they'll say that's so anyways make sure you're on the cover make sure you are under this is oh my gosh make sure you're undercover listen this is so huge ladies and gentleman every man needs to have another man speaking into his life every woman needs to be under covering the bible does not know anything about a woman that's not on the cover it does not know one that's why would a lady wants to come down the aisle and I'm marrying him I said hey who's walking in out nobody I can't marry her because I want to know this dude should he shouldn't even put me in that situation he men should ask these ladies who is covered man how do you know that she gonna follow you if you don't have any evidence of her following another man how you know she gonna follow you guessing you're guessing gentleman that she can you have no evidence that she can submit and follow another man and if you have no evidence what business do you have married her let's talk to them let's talk about the man now man ladies you should ask the brother when you acting a fool is there anybody I can go to to speak to them about you that when they speak to you you will stop your nonsense and walk right if you don't have somebody like that I am Telling You I am Telling You you're an accident waiting to happen ladies and if you marry him talking about oh no he loved me so much when he see me walk it won't change everything girl you better grow up grow up quick because that little walking and that little strong well that's about I maybe six months maybe before that fool starts showing his true colors I'm just that's why you have to have somebody who he honors you know I would never I don't hire anybody anymore at our church that does not have a spiritual father or a covering you know why cuz then I have to father them and if I have the father than me means I got a fight cause nobody father them to this point in their life so no I got a father so now they're gonna fight me cuz they don't want to be fathered which is why I never had a father cuz I don't want to be found and they don't know how to ask somebody to cover them so that they can come under the person so that that person can help them make wise decision I got four I get full I got my physical my own dad I got I got you know a couple of that I got dr. Tony Evans who's my spiritual father I got to Gary Brandon but the reason I have them it's cuz I know me I was a fool in a when I'm at a fork in the road because I want what I want so I need insight beyond me that's not tied to my current situation who can speak wisdom because they don't have objectivity just speaking to my life and I also want Jada to go to somebody else when I'm acting a fool so that she can say hey Dawg here's what he keep doing this and I keep tripping us up I need you to talk to him and he can say you better come over to my house right now let's have a conversation and you better have one of those in your life and if you don't you're an accident waiting to happen you need it every man needed saying every woman needed it is just I'm telling every person that I've had on the staff that doesn't have a father a physical or a spiritual father we've always come to grips I'm gonna tell you why it's simple the solution is simple because when a leader says this is where we're going and you don't like it a person that has been fathered knows how to honor the person above them no here's the danger ladies didn't miss this here's the danger the danger is if you don't know how to handle Authority then when you are given the responsibility of covering as a husband you don't know how to do it well so therefore you I'm not going to allow the person under you to flourish well because you're going to manipulate to do what you want because that's what you do because you don't have anybody covering you all the time all the time this one happens and I am Telling You your assignment is gonna find somebody and by the way don't walk up to somebody today hey will you be my covering they got to know you go serve somewhere and find out who you see that their lifestyle is worthy of following go find out who there's fog dummies how you know with them without talking to their spouse go find out who that's here this is so huge it really really is here's why because once you get into a relationship you're gonna act like a fool because your hearts gonna start doing any going walk and you're gonna clout your your vision is gonna be clouded and you need somebody who love who you know love you listen who you know love you before this this guy or this girl showed up so that they can help you navigate the waters and affirm with you the character of this person it's the second most important decision of your life you can't get this one wrong and let me tell you something you got to know what that person makes decisions because when you're not well if something happen after you know they gonna make the decisions for you so don't just pick somebody based on how they look no I'm not saying ignore how they look cause you got to be able to look at them at night and in the morning so don't ignore how they look but do not make that the purpose and the reason why you're selecting them it can't just be that everybody needs a cover and look at your neighbor and say you have a cover look at the other one and say you got one look at this the first one so you better get one everybody needs one seriously seriously no joke every body needs one everybody needs a cover and turn the page over let's go come on let's see if we can wrap this up now what I'm about to teach you I needed you to every young person you know what I'm about to teach you every young person you know needs to know this this is a huge one number five never wait never wait in denial wait honestly some of you wait in denial and you don't wait honestly so one or today teach you the stages of waiting this applies to anything whatever you are you in a promotion anyway I want you to I want you to understand the stages of waiting come on number one fighting that's the first phase on stage of waiting fighting fighting is where you want what I said in the last series i want what i want that i want it now i want what i wanted i want it now god I want it I want to know I don't care I need to get what I want to get I want it now and you you're demanding of God give me what I want I want it now and if you live in this current generation you're a microwave generation yes you're a phone generation you want anything from an Amazon you want it in four hours by the time you get home it should be there baby baby baby but I'm a Prime member boob give me at home right now four hours or I don't want it give me right now and that's the generation area which means you don't know how to wait your culture has taught you you don't have to wait on nothing which therefore means you can deal with God because God specializes in teaching you how to wait so you need to know how to do this because everything in your culture says you never have to wait but you can't manipulate God no you can be desperate enough and go outside of God's will and then ask him to bless what he didn't give you you can do that but he wants you to learn how to wake sago from fighting to hurting who hears the hurting piece hurting says this God I am now going to be wrong with you someone tell you everything god I hate this season I can't stand it God I can't stand the fact that you still have me waiting got nobody else deserves a husband but I do and you still haven't given me my god I'm just telling you right now I hate it and you get to cry out to God because he's your best friend that's the season I want most of y'all to begin to move toward God I just want to be wrong with you I just want to tell you how this makes me feel miserable and you're sharing your emotions with God just like David did in the songs and then you move from hurting and then you come over here so when you're getting to know God now now your relationship with God deepens now you have a relationship with him where he is becoming your best friend because you're sharing it with him and he's giving you increased capacity to handle it and then you go from knowing to almost changing what are you changing your changing your mind you're changing your heart you're changing your perspective and you're now seeing it from his perspective not from yours you're getting out of it's me myself and I give me what I want then I want it now and you now begin to ask God what do you want from me because I know God what you have for me is the best thing for me so I'm gonna wait until you give me what I want because what you have for me nobody's gonna take away from me and I'm gonna trust you with it and then you move from or changing to trusting now this is a beautiful part you know trusting really means trusting means now God I'm content but let me tell you what I mean now God I realize that what I really wanted was you so now God I want you more than I want the thing that I started out wanting and if you never get there ladies and gentlemen then you're not ready for marriage because marriage there's some times in marriage when you will never get what you want and you got to trust that God is enough for your current situation I know there's a married person right now don't want to scream don't do it don't do it but I know there is because you have to get used to the stages of waiting Yuri God wants for you to want him more than the thing you desire and until you get there you're telling God I'm not yet ready here's why because if he can't trust you with loving him more than the creation that he is going to give you then you never will now you're creating this this war internally where God has to keep fighting for you and God says I am a jealous God I don't want to give you something that's only going to keep you further and further away from me but yet still you're begging God and God said I can't give you yet because if I give it to you you're gonna want the creation more than you want the Creator so I'm dying for you to learn the lesson so you can get to wanting me more so that then I can trust you with the creation I want to give to you but because you don't know the stages of waiting you don't go through the stages then you stay in fighting and cussing God out and hurting and you never move around because you always make you the center of everything next one number six guard your heart ladies let me tell you all about this one ladies ladies from the moment from the moment you're a little girl you've been planning your wedding I know you have you been planning this beautiful thing know you've been hurt enough so now you and I know that's pain talking but the honest truth if we get you by yourself you are dead you are dying for somebody to come and sweep you off your feet but that's what sets you up which is why you gotta guard your heart you see ladies God says I'm waiting to guard it I don't want somebody to walk bouncer ooh girl you find you [Music] I don't want somebody to walk by and say oh girl if I could spend one night with you girl and all of a sudden you take my heart kidding me right now you kidding me yo your heart flutters when somebody says you laugh you laugh somebody somebody calls you and you had this old boyfriend from from 10 years ago and he has a 408 number and somebody called you and you see four oh my god oh my god just somebody begging you guard your heart watch what you give it away - be careful ladies be careful let's talk to the men for a moment men you know that and so many of you especially the older you get if you're not careful you will play on that and that's wicked what I mean by that so you know that you have more choices you didn't have it earlier on but now you got more choices and so if you're not careful man you'll walk around and you will just say hey let me see how she responds today because really what you're doing some of y'all wicked men is you're just waiting for them to be broke down to say yes don't pretend as if I'm playing and so you know you got about eight of them in your phone and you just depends on each night you can call one and one sometimes they tough under are know guarded guarded guarded guarded but you just waiting on the day when they're so lonely you're gonna pounce and no they really don't like you're crazy - yeah in that moment they're just y'all pretending as if I'm playing a game you know what y'all need to quit trippin like you think Nick let me tell you something stop what I'm trying to suggest to you gentlemen is that you got to be careful when you step to a lady and if you're not ready for her don't step there no ladies don't clap here don't jump here cuz some of y'all so crazy now they don't matter what he does the joker turn is back walking away you like crazy we've had two guys that we've had to ask to leave the structure because they were n through girls in our church could pretending as experience they've run through and you've made them you've made them you don't even ask a question you're just so glad somebody's giving you attention you don't even care you just be like let me ask Pastor Eric person if you know anything about he's got pastor Brenton you know anything about he's got passed the Mac you know anything about the pastor pastor Andre nothing but nah you don't care you just want somebody in your bed so they sedate so they run through the church until you have two courageous ladies and really they're not telling because they care about other woman they telling because they're so hurt and they mad that he done used you and gone to the next one now you want to bust him say yeah you don't want to bust him on the front end well you know pastor he didn't protect my heart you like doing that you're just doing it cause you see I've got trade but it don't matter praise the Lord tell it anyways cause you got played no listen listen listen y'all nobody here in this church is perfect we make mistakes I get mistakes but consistent perpetual foolishness we got it we got to address that and so we got to deal with that and so fellas just remember man she needs to be your sister until you get married to her you don't sleep with your sister Joker so don't sleep with her until you get manager and so if she's not the one then then she should at the end of your relationship with her she should say this you made me a better woman of God if you gotta switch churches when y'all break up it was not but God was not all over that thing you were all over that thing that duh yeah but I got to leave because I just haven't seen him he made my skin crawl you weren't saying that before it was now you'll uh-oh he shattered my heart listen that's why the Bible says can I get a witness somebody go keep going we got a couple more number seven get involved with a church family and with godless singles this is so huge listen listen get involved with a church family you know that you're not you know to him you know the enemy looks for isolated Christians he looks for isolated Christians who wallow in their own self-pity and then he goes and devours them that's what he want that's why I care so deeply about having a thriving single's ministry and a thriving young element you know why I care about that so much but you know what Jada and I went to the singles thing and not the cup of the same day same that same time y'all had about 10 passes over there with a couple's and Jada and I said we go into the singles and you know why we went over there because we want to create great environments because we know the enemy wants every single person to feel like they got the weight of the world on them and that they're not good and they're walking and they're not all that and I'm here to tell you God's created you for a purpose he has called you to such a time as this and he wants you to live your life for the glory of God and have the time the time of your life while doing it and anything short of that you're buying into the lie of the devil anything short of that ladies and gentlemen that's why you need people that's why you need a Rug you're not in a life group you just so otherwise any one of my son's asked me that any one of my daughter's aspect i said hey they may like that not anyone leave them alone cuz if they live in a secret life now they live it when you're there with you too you want to run with other people show me who you're running with and I'll tell you where you're going and I'll tell you who you are you're not running with anybody never group you're going to it's miserable it's not the group's fault yours and you better praise that group cause that goofs job is to tell you what's not good about you so you can get help with it now that's why you do it you know why we should have the greatest environments for singles everything we got about three to four thousand things that's a bunch and you know what when we have an event three four hundred people show up you know why listen watch it watch it because singles say well well here's what's gonna happen when I go it's going to be three hundred and fifty women ten guys four sons and five dogs to which I say so you're only going for what you potentially could get which listen listen everybody listen to me so whenever be careful when you open your mouth because you're telling on yourself so when you said I'm not going cause there's no man there it's all a bunch of woman thought that means you saying you listen listen a wise man will say to you so that means the only reason you're going is because of what you can get well let me tell you something about marriage marriage is not about what you can get it's about what you can give so if you choose to go to an event or not because of what you can get you're telling the world you're not ready for marriages preach faster tell that you're telling them it's all about me and I only care about what's in it for me and if you do that anybody that marries you is going to feel pain because all marriages is what can I do to bless you how can I make you better how can it's all about you it's not about me and you learn that in your relationship with Jesus because Jesus makes it all about you and loving you regardless of who you are so get in the habit of making life not about you but making life about how do I serve somebody else I'm blessed to be a blessing how do I go somewhere that I don't even want to go but I'm gonna go because when I go God might have somebody there for me to be a blessing to and I can't wait to see what God is up to when I show up to an experience that I don't really want to go but I'm going to go cause he might have an assignment for me in that season ladies and gentlemen come on the enemy wants you isolated when it's time to go to the club you don't care one rip you go to the club cuz you're trying to figure out what's in there you come to a church event you buy love and you wonder why you'd love to go to the club cause the club make it an excel then you come help plan events for singles so that that can be exciting too last one number eight mate says this discover all you can about the person so here's what I want to know now when you meet them somebody going on a date or something somebody meets you what do you do I'm gonna tell you what I asked these people so for me the people that are on the mind covering I say once they say they're interested then tell them they gotta meet you by the way if they said you don't take all that they don't take all that yes it does for me that's what that's what the ladies should say that's what the guys just say yes it does for me you don't you're not interested okay cool see you later because I'm not desperate I love my life I'm not gonna lower my standards for you and they lower my life for you I love my life the way God has me I love the calling that he has me on I love what I'm doing and if you are worthy of coming into my world then you will do what I ask if you are worthy of coming into my world too dear consider me giving up all of what I'm currently doing to come alongside you and help you do what God's called you to do you better believe you gotta shoot some hoops before you can get to touch all of this glory from God y'all better leave me alone here we go let's look at these questions go to the back view page let me let me show you eight questions to ask and don't deviate from these eight questions to ask this is what I asked people to ask here we go do they know their purpose if they don't know their purpose tell them go get the tape know your why go figure it out and call you in six months don't fool if they don't know what you don't know what you're helping them do God the problem with many Maricopa's is today they're living together but they have no purpose bigger than themselves on their kids the only reason they exist is for them and their kids and God's call uses are much bigger than that that's why all your prayers are for you and your kids you don't have any prayers that are bigger than all of that that's calling you today so the first one is do you know your purpose number two second question is what church do they attend and what did they get out of the last no if by the way if you ever marry somebody that don't love Jesus and you go angry I'm equally yo I'm just telling you the most important person in your world is Jesus and so if you marry somebody outside of that listen that means you can't even have a conversation about a person that's most important to you and if you believe you can win them over to missionary dating god bless you you're just otherwise next question number three where do they serve if you have a Christian that love God and not serving then they're sinning so you gotta ask them why you're not serving are you kidding me you know what God has asked you to do and you're still not serving oh well that's too busy I just can't do it it's just too much okay well then when that gets hard and they're supposed to love you it's just too much I can't love you now they're going to use this play the movie for play the movie for word play it send it to your neighbor play the movie forward play the movie forward if they're doing it now that's why if they're sleeping with you now when something happened in the marriage and it's a rough season and they can't sleep at you because they didn't have the muscles the spiritual discipline took to submit themselves to God now then after you get married and you pregnant or something that something's going on and he can't be as active as you used to be then they're gonna find somebody else to do it here's why because they did it with you you just enjoyed it when they did it with you because you thought well it's just with me that's cool but one day when you marry him and then they still want to see for you and for one reason or not it's not a good season and they can't now you have invited them to look for somebody else listen and when they go look for somebody else you're going to come to me and I'm gonna say no I told you cuz they were super need you before but you didn't mind it because you were the beneficiary of it now that they're married they they're doing the exact same thing they couldn't have the discipline before so now they can have the discipline now today the moving forward just because you're the beneficiary today does not mean that there will not be an opportunity later for somebody else to be the beneficiary and now you're gonna hurt like crazy and you're not gonna blame yourself cuz you didn't see what it was happening to you you loved it walking honor God's purposes but when you end off I'm married now you think everything should now be perfect well you've practiced it outside so don't be alarmed when it happens on the other side preach faster preach number five number four here we go what's their philosophy of dating what I'm gonna do after you start dating now what I'm gonna do okay yeah we go one time what else happens after this you're just gonna keep picking me out and we're gonna keep going Dutch what we're gonna do you want what comes next you're just gonna wait until you feel that it's good well then we're not going down this path we're not going down here unless you got a plan for where this thing is going but because you're so desperate you just glad somebody called you on the phone because you don't love your life because you don't have a mission in life you just said do you see where we get off let's go come on number five number whose their cover and where they fathered you know that number six oh do they seek to control and silence people this is so huge are they seeking to control you ladies you're spread you specialize in this are they seeking to control you are they seeking to manipulate everything that you do are they showing you control tendencies oh you are they showing you that blow it up multiply it by ten because when you get mad if you think it's bad now when you get married they're gonna crank down on you you can't even look left I'm trying to help somebody blow it up say with me below it whatever is small now blow it up cuz if you don't it will be blown up don't be surprised it's coming so if they're controlling now you don't see me you wait till they control every move you made they got GPS on each of your tires they got GPS on your phone they got it in your collar they got it in your underwear they got it in the bottom of your shoes and where you go oh they know everything you do they like the FBI they know everything you go everywhere you go what you listen to they got a GPS in your car in the little in the console so every time you talk you think you have an apartment comes in they know everything you're doing control people said you think I'm joking now that's a real story do they live on budget within their means just because they have a fancy car don't mean they own the fancy car just because they have a nice house dorm in there on it come on quit playing the games if that's all you want it shows that you're desperate well I just want someone that has a nice car so when I go I feel important are you kidding me you get your importance from a car you get that from Jesus don't make Jesus your best friend so that a car won't impress you if that dude if that dude got character and driving a bicycle you better love that dude on that bicycle and say ride baby ride ride baby ride - - it's right now so maybe like he better have a car that's well I'm done with y'all based on their social media what are they passionate about based on their social media this listen see they're gonna clean up their social media when they try to date you then when took of all the pictures of all the old girls and everything else get rid of all of those right but that's why you look at what they're passionate about look at what they talk about look at what they get mad about because passion equals loyalty passion equals affection passion tells you what potentially could be some of the idols in their lives and you need to know what those are because you got to blow them up because later on in life they're gonna come right back at ya but you need to know what you're looking for ladies and gentlemen I'm just begging you we got a divorce problem because we got a dating problem I'm gonna deal with this let's ask you questions because I'm gonna use the questions that you ask to determine what to talk about next week and then couples sit back relax cause they're gonna laugh and everything now cuz I'm coming to you in two weeks I promise you I will get there now listen here so we're gonna finish service today I want to pray for singles if you're struggling in this area I'm gonna ask in a moment I'm gonna ask a man and woman to come up here and I'm gonna stay as long as we need to and I want to pray for anybody that wants to be prayed for that's this is a struggle in their season right now this is huge if you want to go to the next level in your relationship with God remember whether girls track that will do and he can simply go over there through the doors to their left and he can go be a part of my world track number three but ladies and gentlemen the stakes are too high the enemy wants you distracted he wants you ill focused away from what God's calling you to do and we're calling you back you are God's number one weapon in his arsenal and you need to be being used for his glory and for his honor that's what first grunt just after seven says do not be distracted do not be distracted I want you to develop your relationship with God so much so that you are falling in love with him more and he is being your best friend they don't want you to love the life he's called you to there is no great life you wait none in the future love the one you've got thanks for everybody under the sound of my voice thanks for where you have a song none of us are perfect we're trying to we're trying to do the best we know how will you help us to develop our relationship on you will you help us to love the last we got will you help us to deal with our emotional drama will you help us to identify a covering after that God will you help us to go hurt our hearts will you help us to learn the discipline of waiting what help us to be a part of a group of believers that love you and now we can run with and then will you give us wisdom to ask the right questions thanks for the opportunity remove us from desperation and put us in the category of learning to have Jesus as her best friend teach us how to do that this week as we simply make better decisions for the glory of God and the advancement of the scale we pray this in the Masters name of Jesus everybody said okay don't move don't move don't move don't move ladies remember Bible study this one's a nun and if you want so you don't have to have anybody pray for you but if you want somebody to pray for you we'll stay here as long as we need to because our job and our desire is to make sure we walk with singles in this season so that they can live their best life ever thanks for coming thanks to being a body a great body of believers you dismissed thanks Peter [Music] you you

Channel: One Community Church

Views: 35,195

Rating: 4.9135137 out of 5

Keywords: relationships, single, marriage, love, dating, christian, courtship, sex, mate, biblical dating, church, worship, singles, porn, addiction, happiness, family, mating, relationship

Id: H0DsePYJFzE

Length: 75min 25sec (4525 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 22 2018