What Every Man Wants | A Message From Dr. Conway Edwards

[Music] is [Music] is for me every time pmj you keep on yeah me today i know cold i know he got that fight [Music] well good morning good morning good morning you guys so much for joining us this morning welcome to one community church it's our sunday morning experience and we're so glad that you have decided to join us my name is johnny moore i'm janelle barksdale and we're so glad you joined us again uh there's so many individuals that watch us all over the world and we would love to know where you're watching us from we understand uh that we are not just uh relegated by the area of the dfw area right and we would love to know where you're watching us from this morning so right there in the chat on whatever platform you're viewing us on would you do us a huge favor just let us know where you're watching us from we'd love to connect with you yes and if you're already a partner at one yeah let's rep your campus come on go ahead and put in dallas is dallas in the house let us see it let us see it yeah if prelino is in the house prosper is in the house or the loo let us know that you are joining us perhaps you're part of our ecampus represent our ecampus as well let us know you are here yeah it's so exciting to have that e-campus speaking about that a couple of weeks ago i'm uh privileged to serve with the liferoom ministry and we just received uh a connected with a volunteer that's volunteering from the uk what um so she's not able to be here of course physically in the dfw but she's helping to care for some of our life group leaders even from the uk so we're extending not just all over the country but all over the world and we would love for you to unite with us and connect with us through that digital platform that is amazing absolutely if this is your first time joining us yeah what we want to welcome you in and celebrate that you chose to worship with us and we want you to just go to the chat and type in the word guest that's it type in the word guess we consider all of our first-time guests to be vip that's it you get to get to the front of the line you get to scoot past everyone else because we want to make sure that we make your experience one that is remarkably delightful we want to make sure that when you come here you're able to receive and be connected in any way so you can get all the resources that we have as a ministry because we are that excited and privileged to have you be a part of one community yes we have someone joining us from brooklyn new york we're coming to brooklyn is in the house as well um and we would consider it a privilege to be able to pray for you so if you have a prayer request please go ahead and place that in the chat and allow us the honor to join you in prayer yeah that that's a huge huge thing we understand that over the past couple of weeks just uh specifically to the dfw area we experienced a winter storm and so many of us lost power lost running water yes and because of that a lot of our members were displaced uh but we're so grateful that we literally guys survived the storm yes god was so good to us and but many many individuals still are in the need of prayer because of what's going on although we survived that winter storm we're still facing uh this pandemic and you've seen uh in the news maybe nationally that some regulations have been lifted as far as mask wearing in the state of texas as well as our percentile of gathering so we want to be in prayer for individuals that are trying to navigate these unprecedented waters of life right now so we would love to hear from you whatever is concerning you at this time we would love to connect with you we believe in the power of prayer here we believe in the power not only of prayer but also the power of community it's just not a part of our name but it's in our dna it's in our dna absolutely you know and you spoke about snowvit or snow again what we just came through and it reminded me of my childhood okay so i was raised by someone from my mother's from arkansas my father's from mississippi and that's just all about that southern hospitality yes and there was so many stories pouring in on how you know when you grow up in the south if you have the pot and and i have a pan we get that together and we gonna make a meal together right and so it's like putting all those things together making sure that everyone has what they need and we experience so many stories of individuals who were opening their doors and making ways either a couch or a room or just giving access to water to make sure that that community was being felt what about you professor john yeah it was a huge huge experience of how the church can be a community yes um i was i live in princeton texas a little north texas and um having the experience of being without water and without electricity from monday uh morning until friday afternoon and having to go and be with uh someone else i'm not originally from here just moved here a little bit uh a little bit over a year ago and not having family here and in the stead of family we had community and that's a huge huge thing that if you don't have family or even if you have family we can serve as your extended family and the church was the extended family during such an arduous uh time that we face during during this snowstorm and i'm so glad to be a recipient of that community oh it's so amazing and so we just want to celebrate our volunteers who are just really pitched in and we opened up our prosper campus and we had the kiddos coming in giving people access to wi-fi and just having electricity it was such a showing of how we come together as a family so volunteers we just want to celebrate you and we have an opportunity for easter coming up absolutely to invite more of you to give the opportunity for you to serve yeah easter is going to be a huge huge event can you remember growing up i remember growing up easter was a huge huge event just let's just talk about the outfits come on come on outfit i still my favorite my mother sold so my favorite outfit she made my twin and i had on purple and my older sisters they had on pink okay and it had gloves and we had our little lace socks yeah and i know you had a speech you had to have a speech i'm a pastor's son so you know weeks before my mom said stand here little johnny i got the spoon i had to have my feet together and she said speak loud and speak clearly yes um making sure that i was ready for that but what about the outfit i also had an outfit you had to i did have a suit i i was a little clean i was a little clean i think i had a little seersucker deal uh with the white shoes the hard bottoms yeah yeah those those so um it was all about the outfit but now it's much more about the experience yeah it's much more about the experience we understand this to be a time to where we're celebrating the resurrection of our lord and savior and through this we're going to be opening up all four of our campuses as you just said our dallas campus i'm really excited about that experience that you'll have in the downtown area of dallas also our prosper campus our louisville campus and our plano campus and within those campuses this is something new we're going to have some outdoor experiences we understand as a result of this pandemic some individuals are not quite yet comfortable that's true coming back into the building so we'll have a separate experience for you there'll be live praise and worship there for you as well as a live speaker so we would love for you to take advantage of any and all of these opportunities as a matter of fact don't just take my word for it we have a video that's going to give you more information about easter 2021 check this out hey one family easter is right around the corner you won't believe it but it's coming up and it's coming up soon and we are creating more services so that we have more capacity for you your friends and family and everybody to come join us saturday is our first easter experience at our plano campus at 6 00 p.m then we get to sunday here we go plano 8 30 a.m 10 30 a.m and then 12 30 p.m just after noon will be an outdoor experience the other two will be indoor at our louisville campus we'll have 9 a.m and 11 a.m and then at prosper we'll have a 9 a.m indoors and then an 11 a.m outdoor experience then at our dallas campus 11 a.m is when we're gonna have our service at the angelica theater in dallas it's gonna be amazing and then sunday at 6 pm we have a young adult experience in dallas at the angelica theater as well let's start inviting everyone we'll see you this easter one wow that is so exciting if you weren't able to keep up with all of those dates and times we invite you to go to our website visit 1cc.com and you'll be able to get out your phone if you're a part of the digital age or or paper you can get a calendar out if calendars are still safe get your planners if you still have a paper calendar you can get that out just go ahead and unfold that if you're like my father he has the still has he has the best the whole desk yeah so every day he has something in his box shout out to my dad uh that's watching from memphis all right papa more hey speaking of people that are watching us we are looking at you in the chat thank you so much for dialing i see walter jones ripping the dallas campus this morning randy crowder thank you so much for the job that you do a part of our prayer team that's one of the strongest volunteer teams that we have here uh miss janet white i'm so jealous of you i'm asking for forgiveness but i am jealous she is viewing us from my amy i know that it's very pleasant there so uh definitely want to thank you so much for joining us welcome you to our service again hey if you guys have prayer requests this is so important in this time if you've been isolated and you don't have family around let us be a part of your family would you open up uh that that wall or open up the door to your heart for us just to pray with you we're not asking anything from you but we want to extend our hand to pray with you for whatever is concerning you there's so much going on right now and we want to make sure that we're a resource and then help for you and whatever you're facing at this time absolutely and on tuesdays we get the opportunity to make phone calls and pray with our partners here at one and that's our way of just extending that touch extending that community right to be that hand of god when we say we are here walking with you so we give us the privilege to do that absolutely another way that we're doing that is through our 21 days of hope that leads us up to easter we have some exciting ways for people to become involved both in a digital format as well as in person that's good so we're meeting all types of personalities all types of needs whatever it is that really just hits your heart to say oh i really want to participate in that things for our children things for homeless things for people in all walks of life we have a way for you to serve your community what are you looking forward to pastor john i am really looking forward to i was just kind of perusing the calendar as it was presented to us in our core team meeting and if you're not attending our core team meeting if you're a volunteer yeah i i invite you to join us tuesday nights at 7 pm core team you don't want to miss it it is something that is uh full of resources if you're a leader uh in any regard leader of your home a leader of yourself a leader on your job it's a wonderful opportunity for you to get connected that was just a shameless plug for core team but back to what we were saying um i forgot what are you looking forward to in this 21 days right care yeah yeah i'm really looking forward to this one opportunity and that is to be in community to where you're able to pay for someone's meal oh i love i call a chick-fil-a the place where god resides it's the lord's chicken it's the lord's chicken and you can have communion with that lemonade let me believe it's blessed and anointed it is blessed and highly flavorful yes so we thank you so much give him some love in the chat for that that was good yeah so i'm so excited for that opportunity uh to be a an arm in outreach to just show the love of jesus christ in this season where we're celebrating his resurrection so we invite you we have both physical opportunities yes as well as digital opportunities for you to join in over 21 days that's going to start next saturday and we would love for you just to go to our website visit 1cc.com yes and peruse that calendar and figure out which place you'd like to plug in with us to make sure that we're all together in this endeavor that is awesome and with next weekend speaking of that starting on the 13th yes we also are giving away t-shirts giving away giving them away that's pastor conway i'm not sure we go give them away we're giving them away anyway so show up here on the weekend and they have a special message in these shirts that's great so anyone coming in we are so excited to be able to give these shirts away right to celebrate and lead us up into easter so that's really really exciting hey even if you're not interested in anything else you're interested in a free t-shirt everybody can add to their wardrobe hey can you put in the chat what do you do with all of the free t-shirts that you just you get because for me yes i don't know if you notice this but i'm a little small right and normally when they uh just a little bit let's not go too far just a little bit y'all laughing a little bit too hard in the chat all right y'all right so i never wear flats okay so what i was saying about the free t-shirts that normally they always have these large sizes they never have a small they always have like extra large 2x and i'm like what can i do with this so normally i just i just turn it inside out and i kind of drive the car with the extra large t-shirts because there's nothing i can do with it what do you do with all the t-shirts i don't have that problem so i normally can get my shirts i wear them to the the gym um i wear them now that i'm working from home i get to wear them there and it's always if i'm at the grocery store it's a wonderful way to witness and evangelize when we have these wonderful shirts that draws people in it's a way to get to know them absolutely yes yeah it's a great message as well uh we we want to spread the gospel which is the good news and this is just another alternative method for us to share the gospel of jesus christ so we'd love for you to join us if for no other reason next week everybody your mom uh your father your sister your brother your nieces your nephews your uncles everybody everybody everybody everybody we want you to research to receive that free t-shirt absolutely yeah and speaking of the family as we went into covet there were some families that you know had not decided to homeschool yeah but it was forced upon them absolutely and so we are a responsive church and so we have free tutoring services available yes and so we just we're going to drop that link in the chat for you just select that link and you'll be able to register your kiddos in for tutoring sessions now have you signed up to be a tutor absolutely not oh not not your gift not my gift not my calling not my anointing none of that it's not the will of god for my life but here's the part we do have individuals where it is their gift it is their calling and they actually like kids that's good i like my kids right but others and so we want to bring you always the best and so we have tutors on all subjects ready and prepared to meet your students to assist them in any gaps in areas that they need support and it's free it is free come on 3.99 so we want you to join us hey big shout out to one of the best volunteers and what best staff members rather yes in the entire world mr happy blanton come on i got you a tea in your size thank you so much already set aside already set aside the shade is a bit thick in here i'm gonna need some more lighting in here because the shade is so thick but i appreciate good people looking out for the little people here yes and we can add to that group of people because we have membership coming up membership if you're still involved and you see how silly we're being hey this is a great opportunity in all seriousness this is a great opportunity for you to connect with our ministry it's a time to where we can hear the vision uh from our pastor as well as some of our key leaders within our church so today at 1 p.m central standard time it's so important that we say central standard time because as you've seen we have individuals from the east coast uh from the west coast we had individuals watching us on yesterday even from jamaica so we want to make sure that you're in the right time zone so join us today at 1pm for our digital membership meeting it's a great opportunity for you to be a part of one community church where it's not just a part of our name but it's also our dna in our dna it's part of who we are yes and then coming up on wednesday okay it's a big night it's a pretty big night yeah it's the biggest this year i won't say i mean that's okay yeah it's my testimony it's your turn you can't tell it like i can tell well then tell it tell it what let me tell you it is men's bible study amen yes it's man church we are so excited for the opportunity to engage with men so many times the hype is around everything that involves women and i'm not going to be misogynistic i understand you guys have a great time on women's bible study i hear because i don't join in y'all know y'all doing we are very convinced no i have a discipleship group with me oh okay because i'm invested in the million but you're welcome okay okay maybe so but you're welcome to invite your significant other you're welcome to invite a man don't come by yourself men but we want you to be engaged this wednesday at 7 pm go ahead and register register for one of the zoom groups it's one of the most impactful times where we spend about 20 or 30 minutes breaking down the word of god and how we can apply that word on wednesday night so we want you to join us for that oh that is amazing and you know what i like the fact that you did include us by way of giving us the assignment to bring our husbands our boothains and i will say for us sometimes we'll say our the no for the men in our lives you know like oh he typically is not interested in stuff like that right no you know he's so busy he's already on so many zooms but don't say his no for him just get him in the room and once we get him in the room you guys going to take care of them we're going to take care of we're going to make sure that it's something that is applicable to their lives it's relevant to their lives rather and then they can apply the word so we're really excited about that opportunity that is so amazing yes ma'am we also want as you are joining us either through facebook or if you're on our youtube platform share the service go ahead and become that digital evangelist and click on that share button to bring this word of god because we know that pastor conway has a word for us on today this word is amazing it's for single men it's for married uh men as well it's for single women in preparation it's for married women and understanding he has uh some secrets that you need to know about that man in your life but it's old school sunday it is over it's all sunday sunday you know pastor john i was reading in the word all right ephesians the second chapter all right the eighth and ninth verse and it reads for we are saved that's good by grace so it's not even about our works we can't work our way into salvation we can't do our way and it's so counteractive to what our culture says a culture says have your brand right our culture says it's about you and what you do and how you can make a difference but the word says it's by your faith right so please receive our worship team as they tell us about god's amazing grace check it out [Music] uh [Music] but now i'm fine now come on and sing with us towards grace that taught us grace my heart and grace [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] is [Music] is we praise you jesus praise sick god god we gonna take it back i'm asking you to protect me me hey jesus is oh oh jesus oh oh oh my is oh oh [Music] me oh your brother me [Music] i'll be thank you if you've been protected by the one have you been protecting it your family's kept it from if he's here your joy you'll be given your life more abundantly give him some graces here hallelujah hallelujah this morning we magnify all that jesus is no matter what needs you have no matter what you face there is one name that is the answer to any problem and that name is jesus and we celebrate everything i call you holy your name is holy you are so holy to me i call you holy your name is holy only you are and holy anybody else grateful today that jesus is holy say i call you holy your name is jesus you are so faithful your name is thank you jesus [Music] if you believe is forever come on [Music] save what's hallelujah is anybody grateful for jesus today i said is anybody grateful for jesus today in that name you find everything you need and we've just named a few names and a few attributes to his character he's mighty he's a savior he's a healer he's also joy he's also peace he's also helped in time of need he's also a comforter do you know that he's alpha and omega he's the beginning and the end he's the bright and morning star the son of god the lamb of god everything you need that's who jesus is and we want to declare his greatness today not to make you feel good but to make you truly anchored in the fact that you have a name that is unshakable to trust in and that name is great and mighty let's try it this way [Music] is hallelujah is [Music] is he's a [Music] what's your name jesus i call you jesus your name is jesus you are jesus to me [Music] i call you jesus i trust in you jesus jesus you are hallelujah giving us our voice and just celebrate the name above every name the name that heals sets free and redeems is peace and hope come on and shout to the name of jesus hallelujah that is his name his name is jesus he's a healer don't tell me he's not a healer there's some room that you have not yet let him hear and he wants to come in there to prove that he's a healer to you don't tell me he's not a healer because this week this last week the last five days we had couples come to this intensive uh experience that we had and of all the couples that came some of them came to this intensive and they were not living together every last one of them went home saying we're dedicating our lives to stay married to stay holy to run hard after god two of them were not christians and they became christians on the last weekend come on somebody don't tell me he's not a healer don't tell me he can't do amazing and miraculous things in this place if you're hurting he can still heal you he still wants to heal you if you will let him in will you allow me to pray for you father thank you so much for who you are for what you have already done and what you're going to do in the rest of this service today father we honor you we worship you we install you will lift up the name of jesus because mighty things have you done in the past and mighty things you're going to do today and mighty things you're going to do this week we will not walk in fear we will walk in faith because greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world so we thank you for who you are and what you've done will you be with us will you set us up will you prepare our hearts for the word that we're going to hear today and may we leave this place leave our living room leave our gems wherever we are better than before we heard this word in jesus name we pray everybody said amen and amen come on let's honor the greatest king of all kings ever you may be seated in the house if you're at home in your living room in the gym wherever you are you may be seated as well thanks for joining us here at the occ family it is an honor it really really is to worship with you i want to tell you thank you each and every one of you for your faithfulness and giving because because you did we saved god save some families this week for generations to come because of your generosity thank you for paying for one of those couples to be there and to experience what they experienced the holy spirit moving on the hearts of men and women to fight for their families not just themselves as a couple but for their families because if they stay together it means that the kids will see a model of families fighting to stay together so thank you for what you did we really really really really really appreciate that a lot of you have been asking hey when is the next one can we go we only do three a year it's too much work y'all it's way too much work so we can only manage three a year two counselors and a pastor that walk with couples for about five days and just pour everything we got into them and it was amazing to see what god will do and has done so if you want to just go online and you'll see the oasis banner and you can register for the other two if you want to be a part of that experience but i'm telling you there is nothing i've ever experienced like it so if you if you're struggling as a couple and you're ready to sign the divorce papers then you want god to see what he can do if you go be a part of that process all right um i want to give you a quick update as to what's coming up for easter uh good friday service on good friday it's a big day for us okay it starts at six in the morning and every hour on the hour all the way till seven p.m we're going to release a video that will show you a little bit about one of the stations that jesus christ experienced on his way to the cross there's nothing like it it's amazing it's our team that goes to different places across the metroplex and literally um shoot a video uh demonstrating what jesus must have felt as he went to these stations all the way to his cross and then at 7 pm we have a virtual experience that simply highlights the death of jesus christ and we're going to feel the experience that he went through and then on saturday we start all our services at the plano campus six o'clock uh we have our service here live in person and we want you to invite your friends then on sunday we have indoor we have outdoor and we have online experiences so if you're online wherever you are joining us in occ global you can be a part of that if you are live in the area of one of our four campuses then you can go and you have the choices of indoor or outdoor at the plano campus on sunday 8 30 10 30 indoor at 12 30 outdoor at the prosper campus nine o'clock indoor and eleven o'clock outdoor at the lewisville campus two indoor services one at nine one at eleven out of dallas campus and they're meeting at a hotel down in dallas for the first time so excited about that they're meeting at 11 o'clock and then we have a young adult service only young adults can come that means you're on the 35 or so then you go and join us in dallas at 6 00 p.m for our last uh easter service on that day i cannot wait and you have an assignment that you've got to bring somebody with you so if you're in the house today we have these easter cards for you on your way out to invite somebody you can start inviting them starting next week and then we're going to give you these digitally as well so you can remind and invite your friends as well we're pretty excited next week is a big week it's massive it's big for the first time ever we're going to do a free t-shirt weekend what that means everybody that shows up in church gets a free t-shirt that is a pretty cool long-sleeve pretty cool t-shirt next week you'll get one everybody gets one for free okay all you got to do is show up whether you're really tall whether you um not so tall you get one everybody gets one on next week it's free free.com t-shirt next week free t-shirt weekend come on somebody you're gonna be a part of that experience as well okay uh if you want to be a member of our church you get to be one today you can join us for the class today all you've got to do is go online click the next step button and you can be a part of that experience every single week every single month god bless this church with a lot of new people joining our church you can be a part of that experience as well now it's giving time uh but before you do that it's an update time it's the first weekend so we'll tell you what we're doing uh number one we are building our student building right where our warehouse was um we tiered it all around it and then we're gonna erect a two-story building uh which they're working on right now i want you to see what your generosity is doing as pastor matt and pastor andre gives us an update as to what's happening in our student building take it away guys hey one family we are on location at the plano campus and we're here with your next-gen pastor andre jones what's going on family come on we are so excited we wanted to give you an update of what's going on with campaign next in our next generation student building you see it going on behind us what they're doing right now is they've been clearing out and they're they're really doing a lot of the foundation preparing for the foundation and you gotta clear some stuff out before you can lay the right foundation for what you're gonna do and so the reason we're doing this is so that students know that they are loved that their church cares about them and so that they can be equipped to take the good news to wherever they go whether it's in college or whichever walk of life they're in so you see the work going on pastor andre what's going on here what is this fence about so here's what i love about this fence um we've uniquely placed our seven checkpoints around the entire building and so you talked about the foundation yeah that is the foundation for our ministry that's the foundation that we're teaching each and every student each and every week and so some of them are authentic based spiritual disciplines yeah others first moral boundaries and so we're teaching those each and every weekend so it's built around it and it also lets you know that we are open you know some of you drive by and you see like pardon our mess but we are open coming each and every weekend our student ministry is having worship they're having small groups right they're having an amazing message and we're just preparing now for what is to come but we got to keep on reaching so that when we get this new building we're going to fill it up family come on we are still going we're still pressing forward in one family we wanted you to see what you're giving to campaign next is doing right now it's making a difference and we and the students of this church are so so grateful this is going to be amazing if you haven't yet done it drive by the campus and check it out check out this banner check out the images of what's going on and the checkpoints that we have for our church and if you have not already done it we want to ask you to consider being a part of this investing in the next generation and helping all of us come together so that we can make sure our students in the next generation are ready to make an impact one family thank you so much we'll see you next month with the next update come on y'all hey fam isn't that amazing come on somebody put your hands together for what god is doing because of your generosity so this is the time to give if you're in the house this time take your phone out and give digitally or their boxes as you go out if you're joining us online this is the time where you can text the gift you can give on our app you can give on our website uh on multiple ways in which you can honor god in your giving thanks again so much for all that you do to make what we do even remotely possible i'm joined now by one of the new members of our staff i call him luca he's not a basketball player but i call him luca his name is luke and he's going to be joining our pastoral team and i'm just honored that he gets to be a part of our team so will you help me if you're in the house just welcome luke for me everybody to to be a part of our team he's just staying here right now keeping his mask on you'll hear from him i promise you you will you will uh and then two more things and then we're done number one we have um volunteer sign up we need every person that's a regular attendee signing up to volunteer on easter weekend so i need you to make sure you go to your phone right now and click yep i want to serve and sign up to be a part of our volunteer team we meet every single week on zoom to make sure you have all the details so that we can serve the guests that come online outdoor and in person so i need you to make sure you go do that we need every last person if you've been at home and you got the vaccine great then you can come start serving okay and please join us in prayer as we process what our governor did as we determine okay how are we going to handle mass nomads we have we have christians at our church i believe we shouldn't have match we have some that believe we should we're trying to wrestle with that and see what we can do to meet all our constituents we're pretty excited though and uh you know one of the ideas is maybe we open up one campus and say this is a no mask one and then this one is a masked one i don't know but at least we have the options to do different things at different campuses so we need you to pray for us for that as we process that and then lastly we have our 21 day outreach it starts this saturday every day go online right now it's there they're putting it in the chat for you 21 days of outreach that's not this saturday we need you to make sure your family do it digitally or physically but we have an activity for every single day leading up to good friday that we need you to be a part of so can you join us on that please go download it now it's all there for you and then if you're a part of the volunteer team you'll get daily updates about what we're going to do thanks so much family for being a part of the most incredible church this side of heaven now let's hear from an incredible choir here we go take it away guys is [Music] is [Music] [Music] is [Music] of his goodness what's up is i'm gonna write to praise the lord he woke me up this morning and closing my right mind started me on my life for this reason i can't help but the praise is he's been real good to me the my deliverer [Music] is i will jesus foreign [Music] [Music] is hey girl what's up i need to tell you about last night dizzy face with discomfort girl what eyes what happened worst date ever i mean evr omg hands down the worst what worse than lion larry astonished face astonished face astonished face absolutely yes dead no way face screaming in fear okay let's facetime i'm still on a zoom call with my team i can only text okay i can't with these quarantine crazies where are the real men loudly crying face real men who knows i heard they're in houston lol quinton distressed face vomiting nobody asked you why are you still in this group chat anyway y'all invited me said you wanted a man's perspective i'm telling you the real men are in houston i got a lot of friends no thank you i'm good that's cool stay single wait what so you're a relationship expert now cause we all remember your last girlfriend klepto christina face with money symbols on the eyes and tongue man i'm still paying back that loan on amused face it's the shade and the alliteration for me face with tears of joy i'm not an expert but i know you're looking for a real man in the wrong places where should we go you should come to church this weekend you think the real men are at church forget trying to find a real man i'm trying to get y'all some real perspective pastor conway is starting the relationship series this weekend at one lol what's the series called insignificant other that's gonna be good wait thinking face who's the insignificant one let's find out when are we going saturday or sunday girl i think we should go both days [Music] hey everybody thanks so much for being here today uh i am eagerly anticipating what god is gonna do in our house today and i'm just glad you joined us we're gonna pray and we're gonna need it today we're gonna need it pretty desperately actually uh and so today i'm gonna talk to the ladies i'm gonna talk to the ladies today and then next week i'm gonna talk to the men so here's the deal you can't just listen to this week and miss next week you gotta listen to both of them okay it's not fair if you just listen to one week and not the other so at least uh just just just put it on the calendar and make sure you listen to both weeks all right uh secondly um um we've got pretty good security today for what i'm gonna talk about okay we got pretty good security um ladies uh we're going to remind you of what god has required you to do okay you're not going to hear this on any uh any form of news channel you're not going to hear this on any television station you're not going to hear this on hulu you're not going to hear it on youtube you're not going to hear it so uh put your seatbelts on latest sit back man you have a front row seat don't say nothing just praise god internally have your own worship service internally and all i want you to do is internally this is all internally you should look like this but externally you should look like this that's all i want you to do today fellas as we go through this so we're going to need jesus and um so let's pray and ask him to help us on today here we go father uh thank you for uh thanks for this opportunity to to really remind ourselves as to what you've called us to do we drift sometime we lack focus sometime we we forget why we do it and we forget the purpose of why we do it so will you clarify all of that and realign us to your heart for this world and for marriages and for women today we pray in jesus name everybody said amen all right so we've we've been in a series we'll call it the insignificant other the reason we call it that is because in most relationships what we have what we've done is we've allowed jesus to be the insignificant one in our relationships and because of that because we've left him out because we've given him the heisman what ultimately happens is we try to fix our lives and our marriages by ourselves and try to do it without jesus no wonder uh 50 plus percent of marriages in the divorce and no wonder most of our young millennials are not even bothering to get married they're just doing it the way they see fit in light of that we are we're teeing that up as a topic and now we're going to try and bring truth and bring light to where the enemy has tried to create darkness what we try to do as a church just so you know is we we go after where there is darkness and we shed light from the word into it so that we can find the freedom that god wants us to have so whenever we're thinking about a series the first question we ask is where's the darkness in our culture then once we find it we go to the word and then say god what do you have to say about this issue and then we shine light on that dark area so that's what we're going to do today so let me let me remind you of where we've been and then we'll jump in uh first of all what we've suggested is this issue called marriage the reason so many of us misunderstand it is because we can't see clearly the vision god has for marriage what we've suggested is that before the foundation of the earth god decided in his sovereignty that he was going to do this thing called marriage and have a man come together with a woman but in light of that and in the same vein of that he decided that he could look through history and see that he would need to say the father that is would need to send his son and that he would start this thing called the church and so he decided that the marriage should picture what christ and the church should be and so your marriage the real purpose of your marriage is to be a billboard is to be a advertisement on instagram and facebook of what christ and the church's relationship look like which means it's not about you which means that the four things our culture and the enemy tries to to block or filter out so that we don't see marriage correctly he uses four things he uses the idol of self where you love yourself so much you want what you want so you get married to be happy and the same reason you used to get happy you used to get a divorce you want a divorce i want to be happy so i'm out number two that's self number two is the issue of autonomy you want your own way you want to be in control you want to make sure you can control everything and in light of that it messes up the beautiful picture that god has for marriage number three we love entertainment we don't like same old same old we don't like boring and marriage to the same person over and over and over and over and over again is boring and so because we don't like that we want hot we want spicy we want yeah and because of that we end up trying stuff we have no business trying instead of being faithful because when god comes back he's going to ask you one question have you been faithful that's all he's going to ask you and because we love entertainment more than faithfulness we end up making mistakes that cause us to get divorced or cause marriages to be unhealthy for the rest of their lives and then the last one is the issue of sex because we didn't honor god before we got married silence and pause for effect because we didn't honor god god before we get married now we bring baggage into the marriage sexually that god never intended us to have so now parents still telling their kids don't sleep with each other because god says or our parents tell your kid here goes some here goes some condoms use that dog and and you miss up why god said god says that the reason i don't want you to do that is because the key to clarity is purity and the pure you are in your mind the better decisions you make you don't argue god says so you argue the bible itself which says the key to hearing the voice of god is that you remain pure that's why you don't sleep around because the key to clarity is beauty purity leads to clarity say that would be twice purity leads to last night purity leads to you got it anyways all right so that's all review that's why we can't see this idea of selflessness this idea of i'm gonna love you regardless of your behavior and you're gonna honor me regardless we can't see that cycle so we go into the crazy cycle which says i'm gonna love you if you honor me and i'm gonna honor you if you love me and because of that everybody says i'm not gonna do this anymore i'm done i'm out and i don't wanna do it and therefore we end up in unhealthy relationships so we talked about that then we talked about uh singles that that that and we suggested that they should be the preferred life in other words that the fact that you're single means that you're god's number one weapon in his arsenal against the kingdom of darkness and you cannot miss god's call in this season because you're that important to him so now we get to where we're talking about today now today i want to talk about men and what they need ladies and gentlemen i want to talk about men and what they need ladies let me start by reminding you a little bit about the man in your life or the man that you will ultimately get married to let me let me let me talk a little bit about him um whenever the enemy wants to destroy a culture whenever he wants to obliterate a culture he goes after the man he tries to kill them he tries to take them out last part of the book of malachi he said you had a general a fatherless generation the reason it's so important for you to understand what's at stake that the man every man has a bull's-eye on his back that the enemy is trying to take him out not not not hurt him kill him because he wants to silence the man so that men no longer have voices so that women can run the world i just lost five people but i'm good because i'm not here to impress you i'm here to teach you god's word ladies and gentlemen when i when when the enemy goes after a woman he's trying to trap her to frustrate her when he goes after a man he's trying to kill him because he knows i get a two-for-one deal if i take him out what he does is he says if i kill the man if i get the man out if i get him in jail if i get him kicked out of the house if i get him silenced then i kill him and i kill his seed so i get a two for one deal all i have to do is frustrate him so much that i render him silent now you've got boys growing up being led by moms who had never been a band so now she can't teach him how to be a man she can teach him principles but she can't teach him how to be a man and you thought that you were just unhappy so you needed to walk out but you didn't realize that now you're raising you have a woman raising a man who listen who's been hurt by a man so now she's trying to make sure that this man ain't like the last man and now you got chaos i know some of you mad already but it's okay i'm trying to show you that it's bigger than you that the enemy is trying to take out man now as if that was bad wasn't bad enough that the enemy trying to take him out number two thought with how wicked this enemy is is he knows that men start out as boys and that every boy needs a man to pull out the man in him this is so important because he cannot be who god's called him to be unless you pull out unless you have a man pulling out of him what god's called them to be why why why is this so important let me just remind you you remember when um pharaoh uh wanted to take out all the kids you know he took all the kids that's why that's why um zephora had to put baby into the baby moses into the uh nile so that it can go down because he would have taken him out in the times of jesus ah what did he go after the man again why did he do that because joseph and mary had to flee to egypt so that the baby jesus would not have been killed why because when you get a man when you take him out you're taking out not just him but his seed here's what he also knows when you take a man out don't ever forget this when you go after the man everybody needs to know that when you go up to the woman and you take the man out the woman is going to be because she loves the way she does she's going to be so bent out of shape that she lost her son her husband her father or her grandfather that the enemy don't have to worry about her because she's going to be bent out of shape for a year or two just trying to recover from the man or the boy that she lost you see you forgetting creation order when god created the man it was just a man he didn't have nothing to to connect with so what he had to do connect with animals connect with the earth because he had to work that's why men think the way they think when the woman was created she came into existence with another man so she's relationally driven and connected so when god when the enemy takes out the man he takes out the man but it ruins her because she needs that connection ah y'all ain't ready for this lord they're not ready for this yet okay let me explain something to you do you know why some ladies oh i'm gonna get in trouble right now do you know that some ladies would put up with a fool and let him do all his gymnastics just to have a conversation with him so she can connect with him you miss it some ladies will mess around with a fool let him do all his gymnastics thinking he doing something sexually just to have a conversation after he gets up after he done slept you out and he gets up and says okay can we talk now because she wants connection that much okay okay okay let me go a little further and then i get to my text i'm going to first peter chapter 3 but i got to find my way there um every man every man every man everybody every man ever man somebody got to bring it out of him that's why kids love toys kids love toys because the bible says when when my boy adam was alone the bible says it was not good it wasn't good see ladies what you don't realize about your man is that he's afraid of being alone but you want to solve it your way because that's your problem you want to love him your way instead i love him the way he wants to be loved you want to you want what i need is what he needs to let me give him one he no no no no no no no he thinks radically differently so every man is afraid of being alone or something that i ain't afraid of being alone just be quiet and wait so he's afraid he's afraid watches now and of not having anybody that he can share his true dreams with he's afraid he's he's concerned that that people will shut him down if they really heard where what he thinks god wants him to go so what he does instead is he finds some toys to play with and he and we've mastered this when we were young so when we're young when we when we have time we go to play with toys because we don't want to be alone so we find some to fool around with so we can play some tv or we can play and now what you have in our culture today is extended kid world because the boys want to stay playing games all the way till they're 40 now it gets worse now because now that you don't have to go to school now that you can just go online and get some bitcoins or go online and uh and just start a little internet business now i get to play longer run my own world and then play up make four thousand dollars and be like oh i'm good i don't need to work for nobody and so now it's extended adolescence i need you to understand what's happening because too many people have no idea come here so so every boy needs a man to pull the boy the man out of the boy when he doesn't get it then he's going to find some toys to play with ladies you need to understand this about a man he needs to find some torch so when he goes to the toys he's not really infatuated with toys or addicted to the toys he don't want to be lonely so he finds something to distract himself with and when you say well i just don't want to talk to you right now i just can't talk to you like that you ain't nobody you ain't nobody but you've just driven him to the toys here's the problem with the toys though the older he gets the worse the toys are say yeah pastor the man man don't say no i'm gonna say this for you collectively say it i'm doing the best i can fellas i'm trying to help you today fellas fellas inside what you're saying right now is thank you come here let's go um so the problem is the older he gets the more the toys become dangerous because if the man doesn't figure out what his true weakness is listen to this if you don't figure out what his true weakness is the true weakness will abort the man he's becoming if he doesn't know what that thing is uh let's call it kryptonite if he doesn't know what that thing is it will destroy him and here's what he needs he needs a listen to model for him what it looks like to believe in him enough to pull out the men in him so he leaves the boy alone ladies are you listening to me what you need to realize is that your job as a woman of god is to help by the way if he ain't married to you don't help him because some of you be like let me take some good notes okay pastor i got this i got this i'm gonna i'm gonna lay this on him today babe talk to me babe talk to me no no no no no you got to put a ring on that thing and not just any ring a for real ring anyways let me stay focused um um um the the the reason why the reason why this is not a justification because the man is accountable to god so they say no ladies i'm just trying to help you understand the reason why this fool go elsewhere is because the relationship is of such that he can't communicate effectively with you so he don't really like the other person he just go there because there's no history so he can just go do his thing over there and then come back over here where there is history so he can't talk to us freely he can talk freely and crazy over there because ain't no history ain't no commitment ain't no nothing he can just go over there somebody would listen to the dream or whoa whoa whoa whoa dream big dream dream big but ain't she ain't taking care of kids she ain't going to work every day she ain't doing none of that all she doing is simply being there for him in the five percent but let me remind you of what drove him there the fact that he has nobody to talk to by the way don't get me wrong cause somebody gonna take this little script and say okay let me clarify real quick before the script goes too far ah that's a sin and that's being a fool and you're accountable to god man she don't have to do none for that you are accountable to god and however trying to help her to understand that if you don't deal with the connection and the communication then he's going to feel like he needs to go to the toys but when he goes to the toys it's not the toys that he's addicted to it's the loneliness that he fears so so so so um 60 it's about 66 67 of african american boys grow up with no dad in the home let me show you how dangerous that is but for most other uh races it's over 60 percent hispanics 61. white 70 something uh asians 81 african americans no fam mom and dad in the home mom and dad at home 36 or so percent now let me tell you why that is earth shattering because when a boy doesn't have a man to reach back and pull it the man out of him now he has to look to everybody else for his identity now he has to look for everybody else to help him become a man and most of the people he looked to are either bad models or women who have never been a man that's why this thing is so dangerous that's why you mister you don't just throw that toll in because the stakes are too high for you to just give up it's too high for that next generation to just give up anyways let's keep going um we all right so far everybody we good so far if you're learning something so far put your hands together all right good good good we learned some all right here we go here we go here we go here we go so um it's a big deal ladies for you to make sure you understand and you work through the issues it's not just about what you feel you have to figure out god till you teach me how to understand this man no no ladies part of the problem is um you're good at what you do so because some of you have grown up in singapore's home you've had to become watch this now roll reversal you've had to become a man or take on his responsibilities because ain't none was there so now you've had to figure out a way to then rise up take care of yourself do everything i ain't trusting nobody i'm fearing nobody i'm gonna get it done and we're gonna do it and we're gonna do it well and you have done a marvelous job of it the challenge is when a dude shows up how do you how do you understand what your role is and what his role is and then make that work together but you've learned your whole life that this the way i'm going to do it you got to do because ain't nobody going to help you how do you then say god will you tell teach me how to do this well all right all right let's go to the text first peter chapter three this is not getting better by the way peter chapter three first peter chapter three when you get there say amen first peter chapter three let's go there let's see what he has to say to us number one verse one says in the same way let me tell you what he's referring to when he says that now he's referring to in the same way like i just told you in chapter two one that uh that uh citizens should obey their their their emperors in the same way that i told you that employees should uh honor and respect their employer now in the same way wise the text says i want you to be subject to your own husband so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives there is so much in that uh bring bring my triangle out can y'all bring my triangle for me uh ladies this is so incredible what he's just said just what he said already he starts off wives be submissive to your husbands to which i've lost a lot of you already because of the word submission right but but let me tell you what i mean by the way that same word is used of jesus to the father so be careful that that you don't run away from it when the perfect model of manhood that's what he did anyways so the text says be subject to your own husband first of all let's make sure you know you are submissive to your husband not to your boy not to your boyfriend not to the one you're living with not to the one who you like not to the one you have a crush on not to the one who paid for you to have this fancy meal to your own husband okay well that's clear let's make sure we know who we're talking about so then he says then he says then he says then he says and he says what i want you to do is ladies in this text here's what happens in this text we find that the lady is the godly one so in the text the lady is the one that is loving jesus and the lady is the one that's right here that's what she at so the text says ladies when you find yourself in this position you love god so much and then you find yourself with a dude down here that's what you talk about watch your text you need to know how to win him over without a word how do you how do you influence this man so much that he wants to run up to jesus that's the question so either the man is a non-believer he ain't saved so he don't know jesus or the man is a dude who ain't walking and is not where you're supposed to be how do you win that man over most of you get stuck on the word submission and you've missed the whole point he is trying to show you how you win so how you influence how you lead somebody without them even knowing that you're leading them that's really what he's talking about but you run to submission okay and you missed the whole point of what the lord is saying through the apostle peter two ladies so let me show you what he's really saying so you never look at this passage the same way again watch it so he says well in the same way wise be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word they may be won over the next phrase says without a word no let me tell you what the culture tells you the culture says you should talk to him i said what's wrong with you why are you down there why are you not coming up here with me the coaches say you need to use your lip and tell him how you feel and motivate him with your lip to get up here and be where i am nothing could be further from the truth that's why peter is addressing it so come on here's what he says the culture says um no the text says as they observe so they're looking at something your pure and respectful behavior so they're saying they should look at you and marvel at your pure and respectful behavior and that should influence them to move up so that they want to be just like you the text continues he says i don't want you to do what the world does ladies i don't want you to do what the rest of the world does what does the rest of the world do they care more about braided hairs wearing gold jewelry and putting on apparel but he says that's not what god values verse number four but it should be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit here we go why is that important in opposition to that phrase is which is precious in the sight of god see when you leave god out and he is the insignificant other you don't care what's precious in the sight of god you care what's in the precious in the side of what the culture has told you is important which is how you look so you doll it up you get somebody else's hair you put that in you get somebody else's stuff you put that on you get you get it all i i can't go i can't get too graphic but anyways you know what i'm talking about you you get it all out and you think the finer i am the more he will run to god no the finer you are the more he'll run to you that's not what you're after you after him run into god you see when you only care about you which means the culture has driven you then you care about can i use my stuff to get him that's why you go get surgery but he says the quality of a quiet and gentle spirit now watch this the the quality of a quiet and gentle spirit leads the submission but you're missing it you miss that's what happens on the inside quite an adjustment which leads to the outside which leads to submission let me say it another way let me say that another one it's going i promise it's going to make sense in a minute he is saying it's not that you're not a leader it's not that you're not you can't run your own organization it's not that you can't influence um thousands of people you can do all that but when it comes to influencing the one that sees you up close and person every single day you don't do what you do in the world and bring that home think you're going to do that at home i know you have all those gifts and abilities i know you have all those talents and skills but what you need to know is when it comes to influencing that man then it goes with a quiet and gentle spirit we're not talking about short term and you fire him or her if it don't work we're talking about long term you're talking about you've got 40 years to live with this person so if that's the case that then you realize that it's a quiet and gentle spirit that does it not a loud and mouthy heart so listen to what he says he continues he continues the reason that's important is because it is precious in the sight of god watch verse five don't miss but most people gloss over this don't miss it verse 5 says for in the ways in this way the holy woman of former times now watch this so now he's saying let me give you an illustration of it he is expecting you to be a holy woman there is a group of ladies that have lived here in history he says ladies you supposed to be one of them in the line of sarah you're supposed to be one of these ladies that are as close to god as humanly possible let me show you he says how they did it watch the text um the whole informed times the most important phrase is the next phrase who hoped in god that's the of the whole six verses that's the most important one because now they're making god not insignificant they're making god significant their hope is not in their husband their hope is in the god that they serve the faithful they're faithful to the god they serve and what makes this easy for them is because they're not looking at their husband they're looking beyond their husband to the god that they serve and the reason they are fearless which is what the verse is going to say next is because they're not trusting in their husband they know who controls their husband watch the text it continues it gets even better then he says also adorn themselves being same phrase as we start in verse 1 being subject to their own husband so they did it too this is not something new you just got to get outside of this culture and see how relationship works beyond the last 30 years which is why you go be a student of history to see how things work well and don't just think that your generation is the smartest generation ever but he continues and what he says next is the most profound thing to me he says i want you to look at sarah why would you go to sarah dude why would you go to her i mean my boy lied say oh yeah you say my wife oh why do you go to abraham and sarah dude just as sarah obeyed abraham calling him say that word with me adonai lord okay stop right there no why would he use that illustration by the way you notice i haven't gone through my notes yet because i gotta lay the foundation out so you really get why we're doing this so that now all that behavior stuff has to be driven with the right heart and if you don't understand why you're doing it then you'll get tired of doing it because you're doing it in the flesh not in the spirit so this has to be driven by your relationship with jesus not behavior modification and let me modify it for two days because that will wear you out so come on come here no she said something that's uh peter said something that's fascinating peter says um peter says um let's talk about sarah now the only time sarah in the text that i found that he called her lord is at a fascinating moment it was when um god told abe that you're gonna have a kid and god said hey yeah i know you old i know you old i know stuff don't get up as easy as it used to but but uh but uh but you'll get it at home but uh but but you're gonna have a child and sarah did exactly what you just did sarah laughed but what's the next phrase sarah laughed right after he she laughs she says but okay my lord now watch this so it isn't this is so very important don't miss it so it's in a very casual moment when when she's just kind of like he didn't see her laughing by the way he she laughed in the back cause she heard it she was behind kind of kind of ease dropping and she heard it yes my lord watch this watch this watch watch her it was so second nature how she honored her husband that even in a jovial funny in her mind ridiculous moment she still views him as her lord don't miss it don't miss it don't miss it even when it's she laughing with the girls i mean i mean when he told me but he's still my lord don't miss it don't miss it so watch this now when you cut sarah and what bleeds from syria is yes my lord because she is honoring him no matter what ladies when your husband get on your last nerve is it is it an in in an in a character quality for you to say yes my lord is it innate to you for you to honor the man so much that he knows that this woman respects me you see the problem with this passages don't you all going to get mad at this one is when you live in a culture that only respects people that do what they want done and not respect people because god appoints them there now you've just taught a whole generation if you don't like what they do you don't have to honor them you don't have to respect them that's why when your boss don't do what you want him to do or she wants you to do all of a sudden i said i can't take this and you go off not realizing that if god appointed them above you even if you don't like what they say or what they've asked you to do unless they're dishonoring and doing a sin it's your job to still honor them even if you don't like what they're saying or what they're doing but your whole culture has just taught us you don't like it you don't like them then you don't have to talk to them no you have just raised a generation that don't like to honor unless i agree with you and unless i like you do you see what i'm saying okay let me show you how easy this is when your kids don't like what you say you still want them to honor you you do when you the employer and your employees don't like the new policy you still want them to honor you but our culture has trained us when you don't like it you dishonor everything they stand for even if god appointed them no wonder it's hard for a man to get honored in his house because the culture taught us don't you dare honor him if he loving you like he's supposed to which means they just put you in a cycle and the cycle says you only honor them if they do what you want oh i'm preaching no even if you don't like it i'm preaching now say it thank you louisville lewis will be hollowing in there thank you lou louis [Music] all right i got to get to the news so come on let's go and this is not going to be a two-part series um she said she said she said and you have proved to be her children if you do what is right without being here's the word frightened by any fear ladies and gentlemen so let me show you if you mark in your bible let me show you how peter wants ladies to act and how sarah model listen to the thinking behind it it starts with hope in god that's where it starts when you hope in god which is all about verse number five that's where it starts so you're not putting your trust in yourself you're not putting it in your husband you're putting your hope in god you make you're taking him from the insignificant position and you bring you single ladies you better listen to me now you're bringing him into your life and you're making him your best friend because that's where your hope lies so you're saying god i'm hoping in you that's where you start and then you move from there to i belong to god that's what sera says just like the holy woman of former times which means your identity is not rooted in what he says your identity is rooted in who god says you are which means you're a holy woman of god you don't do what the world says to attract your husband you do what god says so it starts with hope it then goes to identify who you are in god you're a holy woman of god then it moves from there to number three now you're fearless which is what's in verse six the reason you're fearless is because you're not dependent on your husband you're dependent on god and then you're fearless to do whatever it is god's calling you to do because you know he is your ultimate protector and then you move from fearlessness watch the text to good deeds and you move from good deeds now that is those things that are in you the reason i'm quiet and the reason i'm gentle is because i'm not fighting this battle he's fighting my battle i don't change anybody people change themselves and i need the creator to change him so i need to create to get in his mind to change his heart and the best way for me to do that is on my knees to the one i hope in not into me trying to manipulate and control things and then he says that's how you get to verse one be submissive the way you get there is by hoping in god so here's what he says ultimately then he says ladies the way you influence your husband toward jesus is first of all he wants you to say that you need to have the kind of relationship with jesus where now you're not focusing on your husband instead you're focusing on your relationship with jesus and now i am hoping in god and because that's where my hope is i'm going to ask him now god will you bring me closer to you as i hope in you to influence my husband and the more closer i am to you the more i will model for my husband what this thing looks like that's what the hope is ladies i'm not asking you that's where the hope is and that's where i'm asking you to focus as god does what only he can do in your life can i get a witness somebody lord have mercy all right so now let's get to your sermon notes if you don't have one raise your hands go to the in uh internet you can download one go to the app you can get one let's see if we can walk through the passage quickly number one uh five things first of all five things a man needs before a life so let's make sure men don't try to get one until you have these five things you're out of line out of priority if you try number one the presence of god the if you don't bask in the presence of god if if search me and know my heart god if if it's not true that as the beer pamphlet so my my soul longs for you if that's not you then you're not yet ready because how are you going to lead her spiritually if you don't know what the presence of god looked like number two he then says man you need a job and you need a calling and you need a purpose man if you don't know your purpose what is the lady going to help you do you've just told me you're going to make it all about sex because you have no calling on your life that's bigger than you that you're running toward so you just told me you're gonna make it all about you we got too many men running around here trying to conquer ladies and they have no god-given purpose and ladies you so desperate you're running after them because you desperate and not having nothing to help them with and then you complain later that the bad i don't i don't know where i'm following him he don't know what he's doing you knew that before you're just too desperate but let me ease up let me let me move on i ain't staying there for too long what you doing with him don't know what he doing talking about he fine anyways don't anyway let's just i got too much to cover number three um a man needs to know how to cultivate ladies you need to see him make something better i'll cultivate means when god put him in god he says hey man make it better but if everything he touches becomes worse not better man that's your job come on make it better cultivate when god gives it to you grow it he give you some money grow the money he give you some property grow the prop whatever he gives you grow it make it better number four suggest that he wants you to be a protector you protect everything under your care ladies you want to look for a man look for a man who knows how to protect things but don't go for protection and not the presence of god all five of them are important because all five of them is what god calls him to do the last one says that um he to persistently keep god's word in other words he got to know the word in other words he needs a man to bring out the boy in him so he knows the only way you're gonna make it is if you know god's word and hide that word in your heart let's go to these three secrets let's let's linger here just for a moment number one about men ladies every man wants to be your knight in shining armor i don't care what he says every man if he's a if he's a man every man wants to be a knight in in other words let me show you what he wants to do every man wants to see you in trouble hanging out of the castle he wants to be on his horse he rides up he pulls his swords out take out five six seven eight nine guys get to you put you on his shoulder carry you down put you on that horse i said come on babe we got this thing going every man and if he if he don't want to do that he's something else i got to be careful i got to be careful let me like tread lightly air man inside now listen ladies some of you have some of you have so depressed that in your voice because you do everything for them see ladies yeah let me help you you're putting on a shirt hey can i get some no fool get that thing on yourself ain't nobody me to help you right now you a man you're going to be somebody's night in shining armor put that shirt on yourself hey can you help me with oh i need some help with the yard you are my latest ladies ladies stop helping your boys so much let them fight and struggle with it let him fail trying to do it let him cry trying to do it and don't cry on the first don't fix it on the first cry let him cry for about five seven eight nine ten minutes walk away if you can't help it walk away let them figure it out cause too many of you trying to save them too early and then saving them you're creating some men some boys that are going to stay boys too long number two ladies no not on the sheet ladies you need to make sure you're not suppressing your man the one you married to by fixing everything you have to let something stay a mess now now watch this no you got to give up controls because some of you you want everything to be so pristine and everything to be so right you don't know how to demonstrate self-control to develop the man that god has called you to you're supposed to be yourself may help him bring out the man in him let it stay a mess until he says you know what i don't think she gonna fix it this time she's leaving her alone she ain't gonna fix it this time okay maybe i should do something about it don't you help i'm trying to help you every man wants to be that for you so so if every time he try to do something you shut him down you're shutting down the night in him if ever trying to try to create something and you know let me go do this for my baby you just want you just want to sleep with me we're going to talk about that in a minute but right now you didn't let him shine he desperately need it gives him life number two i can't stay there long let's go number two um he needs down time ladies uh when he comes home you need to protect him from the kids and from yourself you need to protect them he needs downtime when he comes home i know what you're saying right now i need down time too we ain't talking about you right now we're talking about him we're gonna talk about you don't talk about what you need next week i promise you we're going to get there but right now the man needs to so i want you to protect him when he comes home protect him i can't take his ticket let's just give daddy five minutes to wind down so that he gets ready for his second job but you got to give him a little buffer time to wind up if you attack him when he comes in now he has a bullseye on his back and he has one on the front and now in everywhere he goes he's being attacked from his family and from the world and he's pleading with you can you give me a little bit of time ladies let me help you out your man you you no this is not an exaggeration you can handle 400 things at one time you can handle you know how to sort them out you're going to have a lot of them dudes three three that's it now when we're on our way from home when we're on our way from work we got four in our minds you got to help us get rid of one of them because our safe zone has three when we get four five six seven eight and you go all the way into nine and ten now we're losing it now man you you i'm gonna teach you something right now man i'm gonna teach you something um whenever you come home and your wife says attacks you know they said she's saying something wasn't right and she said why didn't you take the trash why did you take the trash cans in let's say that's it i didn't take the trash man man man listen to me if you fall based on about the trash can whatever it is it's not going to this other stuff that happens during the day but it's not about the trash cans though is the latest one in her frame and she's thomas but they really issue ain't the trashcan the real issue is something else that happened earlier today okay you're not believing let me tell you what happened let me walk through her day for you so when she so this morning she got a bunch she knew what she wanted to do she wanted to go shopping but she wanted to go to target she went to target first and target didn't have it so she had to go to whole foods but when she went to whole foods it was too expensive but she still bought it because she needed it so now she's mad that her target didn't have it she had to go pay bougie money prices at whole foods and then on her way to a home then she got a call from somebody else that ticked her off and she's trying to deal with that and then when she come in the last thing she saw was that the trash cans are still outside don't fall prey to the trash can it ain't about a trash can oh god help us jesus if you fight the trashcan argument you're a fool leave it alone yes ma'am i'll get a trash can and i'll take it in do not i ain't take no cash yet in cause then you just added to the ticking time bar i'm trying to help somebody it is not about the first thing for her gentlemen don't fall prey i've fallen prey many a time [Laughter] you need to say is there anything this is next week by the way is there anything else because what you're doing is you're trying to get rid of strengths to get to the real one that's beneath the multiple screens that are all there and there is one but it takes time to get to it because she got to tell you the whole story about whole foods and then she got to tell you the whole story about how rude the person was when she asked whether or not that product was there she got to tell you the whole story next one i'm trying to help some of my ladies can i get a witness ladies that leads into the last one on this secret he can't read your mind latest he can't read your mind so you got to help him he cannot read your mind so tell him he can't have too much on his mind either but he can't read your mind so he's trying he trying trying and trying but he cannot read it so help him out and just obey this is what i need okay process it all through with your girlfriend get to the bottom one and then tell him the one you really need i'm trying to help somebody he can't read it for years and years and years my wife she wants me to do three simple things but i didn't know so i'm doing everything else except the thing she wants me to do that's it then they just tell me and when you tell me i promise you this have more time so all my all my wife wants whenever it's a special occasion is she just won a card with my writing she don't want nobody else's writing she don't want to she want me to write something in it that's meaningful to me no me i don't need no card just give me some money i'm sorry i hear too much about that that comes from childhood baggage but anyways i don't need no but my wife that's all she want now she'd wait and wait and wait and she'd never get a card no now she gets 15 cards with all handwriting because i overcame when i know what you want oh i'm gonna put one in the bathroom one in your car i'm gonna go to your office and put one at your office or you gonna get card you want bae oh you finna get i know what it is i'm a simple guy i got three things on there get cards don't forget card guard card god god i got card thank you for telling me what you want bae no more guessing check mission accomplished i'm a happy guy all right come on let's go let's go to these eights and then we're done we gotta go we gotta go we gotta go eight of them here you go ladies eight number one number one and then we're done you're driving me nuts today number one um every man craves respect every man he can't do without it hey fellas can you remove this so i can get to this now every thank you fellows every man every man craves respect um ladies i promise you he wants to be honored he wants to he wants to feel like you honor him like like it's a position of esteem the problem is familiarity drives that down the more familiar you are the more it becomes common and not rare anymore ladies you must fight the urge to see your husband as common fight it and always seem as a rare treasure and gift that god has given you well you don't know my husband you don't know he ain't no gift he a burden that's your problem because you've made it all about you i want you to see him as a gift from god not as a burden let me tell you a couple things you have to do for that number one you should pray for him number two you should listen to him number three you should praise and compliment him in front of other people bless him in front of other people let him know how much you honor him because your husband ladies is like a vehicle and if he is a vehicle then the fuel you put in the vehicle is respect it fuels him it's what keeps him going wait listen when you don't when you don't fuel him with respect listen listen when you're feeling right and you criticize him and you tear him down and you embarrass him in front of others it's like taking sand and pouring it into that gas tank expecting him to go when all that's going to happen is he's going to stay stuck so every time you criticize him imagine sand being poured down his gas tank because that's what you're doing you're sucking the life out of him and you don't even know it you're sharing your frustration go to your closet and share your frustration and then come up out of your closet and say bro i am grateful to god for you because the goal is to try to win him over and if that's what you're trying to do the way to do it is not criticizing this man and embarrassing in front of the kids and all that that's not the way by the way between this week and next week fellows don't say nothing you you have zero permission to say anything don't bring it up today don't talk she can talk about it but not you didn't you hear that don't get me in trouble either you heard the pastor you're respecting me you're expecting me you need to do what the pastor said you ain't never called my name before but this week you got my name yeah the pastor said yeah yeah i like him you only gonna like me for one a week because next week you ain't gonna like me number two number two uh affirmation and admiration he needs to know and he needs to hear you say you're my hero he does you're my hero i wouldn't do this without you i don't want to do this without you you make my life easy he don't make my life easy he make it frustrating you take that peace to god and you leave your closet and you say lord give me a right spirit to bless this man watch it you're trying to see him and speak into him where he's headed not where he is you're not the fact that he's with you means that he should have a trajectory toward greatness but you don't get there through complaining and through withholding affirmation you get there by pouring it on and reminding him of who god's called him to be number three number three don't miss this one and all these fancy words non-battered affection all it means is he needs sex that's all it means sex is not a want it's a need no no no no no it's not a one it's not neither here nor there no no like you view oxygen like you view water like you view food view it in the same way as sex now ladies i ain't feeling it right now i i get it that's you he needs you to meet those not wants needs so for you it's like well pastor me he just uh uh yeah yeah all of that he needs you to view it from his perspective and he needs you to to joyfully want to i feel it go in your closet hear go to prayer lord i ain't feeling nothing will you help me feel something and while you're in the closet take something out put it on and by the way he would lose his mind if you initiate it okay y'all silent the whole time talking about yeah he would lose his mind if you say you know what you don't mess with the wrong girl let me keep going number four number four number four he wants he wants peace [Music] he wants peace p ladies you got to remember this is how you communicate you ready men communicating men communicate straight ladies this is how you communicate just start up here and you go around you're going down there but you don't just go there you start up here ladies i'm a lion ladies ladies this is all you got this this one let's see right here ladies this is right here this is it right here this four days later by the way this is right here let's see right here you see it right here don't hate me i promise you you get in your week next week okay i'm just trying to show you how a man sees it when you come here and and don't send a text can we talk that that's like somebody saying you're going to jail when when jaina texts me talking about no and by the way every word matters when she says we need to talk oh lord what did i don't do now lord have mercy jesus can you hear me lord when when she says when she says hey bae can do you have some time to talk okay that's not too bad that's not too bad when she says where you at oh every every word matters in that text our heartbeat changes depending on that man can i get a witness man so ladies even if you feel it just say the text nice please in the name of jesus hallelujah hallelujah okay let's go let's go let's go number five number five tone and time sensitivity tone t-o-n-e tone and time sensitivity um men feel loved when they are listened to and and when they're encouraged to share that's what we feel when you say hey i want to hear your opinion ladies you know this you notice when you go to your mind and say hey babe what you thinking his response is nothing that's it all occurred but now i think that's because you've trained them to say nothing but when you care about what he's really thinking you make sure it's the right time you make sure it's the right tone and you make sure it's a safe environment and when he opens his mouth you don't fix him or correct him you just listen because when you correct and fix and when you say don't do anything it's like a counselor man even if inside you're dying you you show a straight face they might come and say hey yeah what happened was uh you'd be like oh my god but you do that inside you don't do that outside you don't oh no you did oh that's really what you've been no no no no no you just shut him down for the next year it's going to take you a year to get over there one year that's why tone and time matters next one um trust first corinthians 13 says um love believes all things in other words trust is a reaction to love it's a byproduct of love which means you have to adjust your expectations and trust comes through forgiveness ladies you have to replace control with trust you're trusting god first and then you're going to trust the man but if you don't have trust and if you don't work and building it and rebuilding it then you don't have a relationship because now you're going to inspect everything they do now you want to see everything because your whole goal is how do i control it instead of trusting god with it and i'm telling you it's the only way to rebuild trust you know how you rebuild trust by serving the person here we go next one number seven oh god you gotta understand the weight he carries he carries the weight with him ladies it's the weight of the priest of that household it's the waste of the weight of the protector the weight of the provider the weight of the one that carries the responsibility to make sure every person in that household is set so i need you to understand the weight and sometimes just ask him sweetie what's what's weighing on your heavy today and just let him just understand just i just i just need two minutes what's what's weighing on you today anything i can pray for you for he needs to know that you're his cheerleader you're the one that cares about the weight you understand that your weight is different than his and you understand it and so you speak into it sweetie i pray today for the weight cinematics thanks for carrying the weight for a family that you carry he needs to hear it single ladies don't tell no man that that ain't your job i don't know why that just came in my mind but so i'm legally right now thomas let me text him thanks for the wait no no no no not yet it's not the time yet the weight last one last one um he needs a friend and he needs a companion woman you spend quality time by sharing your feelings men spend quality time but want to spend quality by you coming into their world and hanging out with them so if they want to go fishing go fishing but past all they do is put that little string in there and they're still there all day long well then go inconvenience yourself for a day and hang out in that boat with him and let's and just just engage in his world well well he just sit down and play them video games and watch football then just ask him sweetie which quarter is the best quarter for me to watch with you and then watch that quarter but past i don't know what to do just look at him when he jump jump get into his world find out what he's interested in don't find out you know it and just ask him can i can i just for a short window i don't want to take it over i'm not saying i just want to understand you're better i don't want to i don't want to be where you are ladies the stakes are too high and they're too many men being shot out of the house and their voices are being silenced because ladies you don't understand how to live with them i'm pleading with you to go back over these notes and say god will you help me understand my husband better god will you teach me how to live with him in an understanding way will you teach me how to do that let me let me let me know the weight that he can let me know the target that's on his back every day of his life so i can be a cheerleader so i can be one that admires and affirms him daily who is going to do it if you don't it's fueled to him it's what keeps him going and he desperately needs you to fuel him up every single day heavenly father mistakes are high we get it god when a man when a man takes you seriously the entire family flourishes when he doesn't the family crumbles will you train and create an environment where the woman of occ global that they understand the the power that they carry that they can win over their husbands the men in their lives if they just do it the way you have recommended so will you help every lady in this house to go back over first peter chapter three and to simply rework the text understanding that hope has to come from god and that they have to identify themselves as holy women and then they have to be fearless and in light of that they can do good works by being submissive and by being quiet so that they can influence this man for the glory of god will this be normal will we be anti-culture as we raise a standard and and and be the wind behind these men that are trying to fight a battle for the glory of god will you do that in this house god will you allow families to be better because the ladies understood their responsibilities will you allow kids to see dad flourish because this woman the woman the proverbs 31 woman that she is fueled her husband to go to levels that he would not ever have attained apart from her raise the standard god let us not be influenced by this culture but by your word so that these men will be and become who you've called us all to be we pray this in jesus name and everybody said will you put your hands together for god family come on come on we can do better than that come on come on come on thank you thanks so much for being here um please don't just take this word and do nothing with it will you go home will you will you read it over yourself would you process it yourself latest men will you try to understand yourself a little bit better so you can share heart to heart with your with your ladies what what really is going on inside so that we can break strongholds so that we can live and flourish as god originally intended it to be will you do that if you're here today and you don't know jesus you can't do this apart from him so you need a relationship with him the way to do that is by accepting him and believing that he went to calvary and died and then three days later he got up and you want to trust in that recognize that you're a sinner and that you're in need of a savior if that's you just click the next step button and tell us that you want to accept christ and one of our pastors online he would do flips as he talks to you about about this most important relationship so if that's what you want to do if you want to join our church we have a membership class coming up this week today actually and you can be a part of that just go online click and say i want to join and i want to be a part of this you want to come back to christ because you have wondered man god's arms are wide open and he would consider it an honor if you would come back it doesn't matter what you did it doesn't matter how bad you were his arms are open and he says i have been waiting for you to come back home will you come back home will you go back and say god i want to rededicate my life to christ all right bible study this week and then please remember this coming saturday this comes out that we started 21 days where everybody in our church is going to go online or physically but you're going to bless somebody every day for the next 21 days leading all the way up to good friday we need you to be a part of that so please make sure you join and if you have not yet registered i need every person registered to volunteer on the easter weekend we need everybody indoor outdoor online three experiences you can you can play a part and we need your help thanks so much for being here uh pastor johnny and and janelle will you take it over for online community now thanks whoa okay what was your take away from this sermon today well i'm feeling this chat there was so much happening in the chat i saw bailey saying she's gonna go start watching some wrestling i'm with you bailey but what i captured from the message on uh today was the see three secrets about men you know in our culture we paid so much attention and celebrate women for being so independent and so the first one being that men want to be your knight in shining armor and that means sometimes ladies we got to wait in the chaos we got to learn how to just allow him to come in and rescue us instead of selling him to hold our purse because we got it the other thing that he talked about was men need downtime you know we're always talking about i need some me time as women men also need some me time so give the that space and create that opportunity for them to have that and then finally that men can't read our minds no matter how long their cape may blow in the wind our superman they still can't read our mind and it's important that we don't treat them as if they can yeah that's so good such great nuggets and secrets that pastor conway gave us today he also gave us five things that a man needs before a wife before so this is just not to prepare um or empower the individuals that are married right but if you're a single man these are five things that you need number one you need to know how to get in the presence of god number two you need a job number three you need to know how to cultivate and also you need to know how to be a protector of everything that's under your care and fifthly and finally you need to be persistently uh you need to persistently rather keep god's word find yourself in god's word because in order for anyone to follow you you must be first found following god oh that's so powerful and as men you can build that in community and you find that in man's church absolutely man church this wednesday at 7 00 p.m i cannot wait to see you there it's going to be a great time thank you guys so much uh for viewing this service today we look forward to seeing you next week and have we hope that you would have a great rest of your afternoon on the name of the love

Channel: One Community Church

Views: 38,157

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Id: 73-xg-GjziI

Length: 137min 45sec (8265 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 07 2021