How I became an Elden Ring God...

eldon ring really was a 10 out of 10 and when i loaded up a new game and was instantly killed by the first enemy without landing a single hit it was a staunch reminder that i hadn't played a source game since demon sauce and that was a long long time ago when i was young and full of hope and then i was out in the open world my mission to obtain the alden ring and become elden lord immediately put down by this bloke wearing gold armor and thinking he's the bee's knees i hate you so much eventually i found a fine lady who offered to help on my quest and gave me a horse goat and this made traversing the world significantly easier until of course a giant dragon landed on the lake next to me and ruined me in one foul swoop it hurts but still having fun now the sense of adventure at the start of the game really is incredible you aren't explicitly told or shown to some extent where to go but you're constantly stumbling on epic vistas and big things far far away drawing you into high-level areas that you aren't meant to be yet i struggled along for a while and then it was time for my first main boss margaret the fell omen i died to this lad more times than i would care to admit the words put these foolish ambitions to rest burn into my brain until the day that i perish i detested this guy but i was clearly under-leveled and under-skilled at this point so i went away i searched in all the shadows and i found this plug in an area that i shouldn't really have been this enemy is the knight's cavalry i doubt that i could have beaten him in close combat at this stage but as it turns out if you get his attention you make him mad and you run up the hill here triggering all of the poison traps he'll chase you down like the dog that you are and while he's doing that build up enough poison damage and just fall over and die yeah this gives you 42 000 rooms and early game this is a big deal and it gave me enough stats to take on the bloodhound knight daryl tricky fight this but killing him netted me this the blood hands fang an exceptionally good early game weapon that scales well with strength and dexterity it also comes with a devastating special attack and follower so i went on my way stumbling across a seemingly innocuous dungeon in it a chest guarded by a couple of easy to kill rats little did i know though this was a trap chest with a spell in it and it teleported me somewhere that i did not want to go hey you you're finally awake you were trying to cross the border right just kidding it actually teleports you to a horrible crystal cave with murderous insects and i never want to talk about that place again next i went to this lady at the round table hold and she gave me a hug a rare heartwarming moment in a game so cold-blooded and escaped from all of the pain and relentless suffering one thing that she doesn't tell you though is that if you hug her she gives you a debuff you lose five percent of your total health nothing is for free in alden ring even hugs but i soldiered ahead stumbling across a giant claymore in a castle i learned how to imbue it with magic i learned about summons and ashes of war wild strikes were my new best friend absolutely destroying an npc invader who couldn't even get a single hit on me i was beginning to believe so i went back to margaret the first boss armed with new tricks and a trap that a dodgy geezer called patches sold me in a cave true story and you know what i went to town on his ass i didn't let go of the wild strikes hit after hit after hit he couldn't even touch me now and i wanted to make him suffer like he did to me because as it turns out margaret my ambitions weren't as foolish as you had initially presumed my confidence was growing i went back and murdered the crucible knight a boss which had previously destroyed me time and time again i acquired the gold scarab a talisman which gave me 20 more runes making farming more efficient and soon the next mandatory boss godric stood before me i expected another difficult battle after all he does whip the head off a dragon and breathe fire at you totally normal behavior but this fight was much easier than i had anticipated the npc that i summoned five minutes before definitely helped here and soon i'd beaten godric in a handful of tries he rewarded me with a great room initially i had no idea what to do with this the game doesn't really explain but after backtracking a little crossing an imposing bridge felling stone giants along the way i rode an elevator to the top of the divine tower activating the power of the rune and buffing my stats by consuming a rune arc i was feeling good about this and immediately rushed to the next boss making my way through the academy of reya lucaria there were some strange wizards in here eventually i got to the red wolf of radagon slaying it in 18 seconds the bloodhounds fang that weapon he was doing some serious damage beyond the wolf standing in my way was rinala queen of the full moon now i'm not joking stage one is literally a room full of human-sized librarians throwing books at you and then the next stage is one giant librarian beaming you into oblivion all you gotta do though is keep running lock on close that gap slice and dice you get the job done and then i hit a wall star scourge radan he's a big old warrior that rides around on a tiny horse looks ridiculous but this guy is built like a brick house his arrows repeatedly killed me as i tried to move in for hits his attacks blowing me away in a single stroke i wasn't strong enough for melee against him yet either and i didn't have any decent farming spots so you know what i did i went back to the dragon i killed it i stole its heart and i traded that in for the rotten dragon breath ability that radhan was weak to boom i went back there all it took was two simple breaths beginning of stage one and then beginning of stage two and you know what i did while he was dying i just rode around the arena laughing maniacally to myself as i slowly watched his health bar tick down and i wanted this i wanted to embarrass him like the way that he embarrassed me radhan was dead turned into dust i stole his armor made it my own and his passing brought down a great meteor from the sky that opened up an entirely new and massive underground section of the game alden ring just kept on giving but you know what i felt weak now this felt cheap my boost of confidence had gone radan had taught me that i wasn't as tough as i thought and i wanted to be a strong dexterity melee character but my stats didn't back that up and repeated deaths to the draconic tree sentinel standing in my way of progress reinforced that but you know what i kept going i equipped some new talismans and beat that thing on horseback and that led me through to the capital wow just look at this place the ancient stone dragon the scale of it all you can go down there you can run on those golden rooftops you can fight on those streets but again i felt pathetic here enemies were killing me easily my damage wasn't up to scratch so i took a break for a couple of days and a friend of mine tommy also happened to be here at the same place so we decided to try co-op for the first time for the next two upcoming boss fights a summon of godfrey and after that moor got the omen king godfrey well he went down easily readable attacks and distractions from tommy enabled a quick battle but i had a feeling we'd see him again morgot was a bit trickier i think he's margaret's brother kind of looks like him right but the golden swords fell from the sky and he made blasts of fire from the ground but in the end it wasn't enough to stop us finally i caught morgot in the tail and added another fellow onto the list tommy disappeared i was alone again i ascended the stairs to the elden ring but it was sealed shut by thoughts impenetrable at the moment i rested and the maiden spoke to me again she told me that to open that door we'd have to travel north to the land of the giants the plan when we got there was to set the earth tree aflame and burn the thorns and roots away and i left that arena feeling vulnerable and underprepared i had to change so i did i learned the way of the katana my ultimate goal was to dual wield the uchi gatana as my main weapons with an emphasis on heavy blood loss and bleed damage to enemies but to perfect this build i needed to go and collect a few things the first thing was an ash of war that i could apply to my weapon seppuku and bizarrely you find this by attacking an invisible dung beetle in the snow harder than it looks but we got there in the end the second thing i needed was the lord of blood's exaltation this is a powerful talisman that raises attack power when there's blood loss in the vicinity of your character it was a bit trickier to get this one and after a difficult boss fight versus the aptly named priest of blood i had it in my inventory the third and final thing the mimic tier now this is arguably the most powerful summon in the game it takes a big chunk of health away when you use it and essentially creates a copy of your character who can use your weapons and abilities if i perfected this it meant double the blood loss double the fun getting the mimic proved difficult though i had to visit ground zero of that meteor crash climb down the side of a mountain and enter nokron the eternal city it's crazy to think that this thing was just here the whole time on this map that's already massive now the enemies down here were tough but my damage output was already beginning to surge before me stood a bus door and messages on the ground left by other players they said pathetic sort ahead friendship ahead seems familiar therefore ill-omened creature and i knew then that this was to be a mimic fight against myself and i'd heard rumors online that it copies whatever you've got equipped when you enter the door so i had an idea make the worst version of myself before i go in and you can bet that i did that i removed all of my armor weapons and equipment i stripped myself down to the rawest form modesty hidden by just the loincloth and i entered through that mist guess what it worked the mimic tear formed in front of me and it was an exact copy of me in that moment and then suddenly we were engaged in brutal hand-to-hand combat barely damaging each other in the initial engagement i ran away from myself just disgusted at what was before me a pathetic sort indeed this was going to take a long while and then a light pulp turned on in my brain i managed to get a bit of distance and i summoned two skeletal warriors to distract the mimic whilst i went about equipping everything that i just removed before i came through that door and i'm just stood there watching i can't believe that my plan had been successful i stared at myself being beat into a pulp but it was now a great opportunity to test the true power of the supuku bloodlust uchi katana and it was time to put that version of myself in front of me behind with a few quick strokes the mimic was defeated and it dropped a larval tier to collect but the summon that i needed still lay further ahead this place was gorgeous stars and distant galaxies dominated the sky i searched more entering the room by using a key slaying the disciple that stood before me and i opened that chest there it was the infamous mimic tear as i walked away i felt strong again the build was complete i had devastating damage now in close combat and i was ready to play not before being killed in literally the next room by a giant ball just to remind you that this is in fact still a source game and then i went back to the big librarian she didn't die apparently and just hangs out here now i dig it and i offered her that larval tear and she allowed me to respect my character so i did and i heavily leaned into dexterity endurance and vigor this meant that i could take advantage of my new equipment and now it was time to have some fun so [Music] after my killing spree i explored some more and a man kicked me off a cliff that's quite rude indeed and i ended up finding a place called volcano manor and it did what it said on the tin really a lava-filled castle almost full of dangerous enemies and weird npcs it was a really fun area to fight in though and the highlight for me was a gecko wearing a mushroom on its head have you ever seen such a thing ultimately this place culminated in a battle to the death with the giant god-eating snake called reichard lord of blasphemy it's a bit of a long title that one but it just had to be put down luckily for us they give you the perfect weapon as soon as you enter the arena the serpent hunter i picked it up prized from the cold hands of a tarnished just like myself who'd tried before and fit and this makes the boss fight incredibly easy you just spam the weapon skill repeatedly the boss takes damage and gets stunned you drink your blue potion do it again and again until it dies not much of a god eater anymore now i went back to this area afterwards out of chance and the lady of volcano manor was feasting on the dead snake's head very unusual that one so naturally i had to put a stop to that this place also really made me appreciate the messages left by players tricky jumps were rewarded and there was a point here where i was stuck on a puzzle and with not enough time to run away from a one-hit kill rolling contraption of death i started scratching my head but upon climbing a ladder and reading the note at the top try horseback battle i realized what i had to do drop down and ride the damn thing to the next section of the dungeon thank you whoever left that message you are a legend indeed my ascent to power was a rapid one there's a point in elder ring where everything just clicks your build makes more sense you learn how to effectively block dodge and parry and it is a beautiful thing and i continued my rampage slaying as many side bosses as i could ripping through them in a few attempts trees sentinels more trees loretta more red wolves even millennia considered to be one of the toughest bosses in the game fell to the bloody blades and i did switch one of them out here to the rivers of blood katana as there's a skill on that that just dominated her health bot this was a really fun fight though requiring dodging and rolling at exact moments to avoid instant kill attacks you have to think about the direction too eventually though she fell just like all the others and i felt like i was ready to take on the end game and i headed to the land of the giants and oh my goodness this area looks incredible but the boss there the fire giant smashed me in literally one hit really i went back again and again slashing away as much as i could fighting on the ground fighting on horseback and eventually after the giant rips the foot off and eats it what the actual [ __ ] i made him for and that allowed me to ascend the forge of the giants and have the maiden set fire to the tree she burnt up and disappeared somewhere i'm gonna miss you lady i'm sure you'll be back our quest was almost complete but before i returned to the capital i had to defeat malakit the black blade and unbind the rune of death this was a vicious and difficult fight but eventually with the help of my mimic we got the job done defeating this boss will give you access to a really cool armor set by the way but now the thorns have been burnt away the city's transformed and turned to ash i did have one more step though before i attempted the few remaining bosses i wanted to go and meet ranny the witch i'd heard tales of her beauty and wisdom along the way so i headed north west to her tower to say hi naturally i immediately served her and she sent me on a quest where she turned into a doll i talked to the doll traveled to another underground city called knox stella jumped into a coffin floated down a river attempted to cross a lake of rot and died went back there changed my clothes so i had more immunity yes that's a scarab beetle on my head is there a problem here officer traveled across the lake successfully that time changed back to my normal clothes went down into a cavern beat up this weird astral centipede skull thing and then beat up this red guy it was a great quest loved every minute of it wood quest again and now for the final event upon returning to the capital it was a different dead place these were the consequences of my actions and only a few more bosses stood in the way of the elden ring the first was gideon he used to be my mate at the round table hold but now he was kind of angry at what i'd done exclaiming that a tarnish like me could never become an elden look and then a man could not kill a god to be honest i made short work of him not a challenge at all up next godfrey the first elden lord we fought the spectral vision of him before remember but now he's a bit more real in the flesh and he's only gone and got bloody lying on his back which smashes the living crap out of you the first stage of the fight though was quite easy with some readable attacks and openings for attack damage he then rips off the line spirit killing it and transforms into horror loot which is essentially a tekken character who relentlessly attacks you doing stuff like tearing up the ground inflicting massive aoe damage it's tricky but yet he fell to the blades like all the others before i sprinted up the great stairs past the burnt thorns and entered the light before me stood radagon of the golden order my first fight did not go well at all barely taking 30 of the boss's health smashed by a holy blast as i attempted to roll away after a swift attack my second attempt was better starting to learn the rhythm of the attacks what i could roll away from what i could roll into what i had to avoid completely chipping the damage down until we entered the second stage the elden beast and the only way to describe it would be a flying loch ness monster with wings a sword and massive energy attacks as you can see my first attempt at this was terrible i was snuffed out by the golden flames made a fool of attempting to close the gap and eventually i got sliced to death by a giant sword this did not feel good and after watching a recording back in my first fight it would appear that at both stages the boss is immune to bleed completely negating the entire point of my build that's great isn't it at the last hurdle i was stopped but luckily i did have another larval tear in my inventory and a weapon called the moonvell katana which scaled excellently with intelligence i respect again and brought the moonvale katana to the fight my damage much better now and i changed talismans to buff it even more the mimic allowing me to output damage as it gained the aggression radagon was dead again on the second stage though i knew after the first hit that the fight was over i could do this i'd learnt the attacks i could dodge them i broke the beast down bit by bit until eventually it was no more a sigh of relief washed over me my quest complete i touched the fractured america and mended the elden ring randy the blue witch offered to go to the moon with me or something like that but screw that i'm an elderly now deal with it and with that said 80 hours later my time with this game had come to an end and reflecting on the time that i spent here i couldn't have asked for more really an adventure i won't forget thank you from software i'll see you in 2025 for aldermen too then bye-bye [Music] you

Channel: jackfrags

Views: 4,524,596

Keywords: elden ring, elden ing, endldn ring, elden ring god

Id: 5N1mY6znjpw

Length: 19min 8sec (1148 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 18 2022