Hoarders Steven and Linda

I knew it was out of control it was absolutely tragic leaving her this disaster was controlling my life I think it permeates every aspect of my life it's toxic it's toxic behavior so I'm going in it's gonna be a slow it's all human excrement agonizing death if I keep it up this way [Music] [Music] [Music] my name is Linda and I'm 51 years old you know there's there's just something about getting a good deal number one feels good so health and beauty oil is a really good bargain aisle here you get a good deal there's a little charge they could get with that what I'm seeing is there's an addiction connection to that this is something I haven't seen this is pretty good I might have to get some of these yep yeah yep growing up it was always cluttery and my parents were children of the Depression era and pretty much there's a lot of things that you save because um I eat them this is good stuff this is a good price and look this they've got like I have that part of depression thinking you know I better get it now because I may not be able to get it tomorrow you know we might run out anybody trying to outwork you today where's your little competitor worker Oh David I'm a really social person and I'd love to have people around me you don't have competition obviously living like this you don't want anybody to see that you live like this it's like this deep dark secret my name is Cobb Quigley and I'm 22 years old and Linda is my mother if you met her you wouldn't even expect her house to look like the way it does but if you were to walk in her house you know he'd be shocked just because there's piles everywhere like there's boxes of just random junking every bedroom that used to be for me and my siblings are full with junk just boxes of just who knows what's in it just random stuff and who wants to show this to anyone this is humiliating it's wretched yeah come look at my pics you know hoarding is so ugly you know who wants to word I mean just the word is like it's ugly this is the house that I've lived in since 1990 and I raised my family of four children and at one time there was a husband here and he's now gone now it's just me my name is Jeff Quigley and Linda and I were married let's see September 1st 1979 about four years after we were married Amanda was born and then then of course relationships changed when you have a young one to take care of my name is Amanda Williams I'm 26 years old and I am Linda's daughter the hoarding and pack riding kind of behavior has not always been there like as a young child there definitely wasn't any kind of clutter and I think about sixth grade as when it started happening for her if it was after her father passed away and I noticed some changes that are her attitude kind of depressed more more migraines and very defensive about possessions and things um he and I were really close I mean when he died my body decided to be mad basically what I would see more and more of is I would see more shopping and I'm just going on and buying things stuff we really didn't need and I think that I probably became aware of it about five years ago that this was more than just poor housekeeping that there was something really deep down and partly because the fact that it none of it made sense Oh [Music] it's that too funny or what it's armadillo now see I would just buy this bass it's funny there was no rhyme or reason to things that she brought home for a while I went on a thing where I had bought baby stuff oh this was when the kids oh it's like but you don't have any babies no but I'll find somebody that does you know you know somebody's got a baby we weren't getting these foods for you know just those just the jewelry that our medulla is too funny I think what was very unsettling is I never knew if there's gonna be any money at the end of the month sometimes I just be bored you know and it'd be something to do why could spend an hour - and in the books and then I might look at the jewelry you know and there's lots of cool stuff there and it's just a mindless and I don't have to think about being lonely for a while I don't have to think about how I'm gonna deal with this disaster here my name is Heather Quigley and I'm 20 and I'm Linda's youngest daughter growing up there I I was very embarrassed to live there I knew it wasn't normal that most people didn't live like that and I guess that kind of made me angry with her it has affected my relationship with my children especially Heather because she would be concerned about her dad being angry because he sometimes wouldn't really fly off into courageous when we would come home especially if it was something from the thrift shop dad's gonna be mad it became a big problem between my mom and my dad's relationship my husband moved out like almost three years ago I finally decided I couldn't stand it any longer I kind of gave up after my dad left she just hid in it like she didn't even leave ever we both kind of hid and Chuck have to grieve the loss of the way our family was the way it is now it's a it's a death in the fact that our family is not what it was I think everyone was sort of affected differently I think everyone else sort of just ran away it was absolutely tragic leaving her because being the last one I always felt like I was the one who needed to help her and save her but I knew for my well-being that I had to just do what I had to do for myself and I mean I knew that one day she would realize that she needs to get help and she would she's kind of running out of options in a way we have to settle the assets and really the only asset that we have left is not sale on the house everything else is pretty much depleted and so in order to complete that you know she has to be able to move out [Music] I tried to find my identity in everybody else and by filling myself with things and more things until I got to this point where now I'm being smothered by things my name is Steven and I am 48 years old I've always had the problem of clutter I've thought about why I do this my parents had divorced and my father was kind of distant towards me I'm not quite sure if he really liked me when I was when I was a child my father had given me a train set but he had to sell it because they needed the money and so I remember having good times with my father and that train set and so that disappeared maybe the attachment to things was related to having you know a good relationship with my father when I first moved into this apartment it wasn't organized so I would just put it like in a temporary spot everything was a temporary spot and since everything was and in a temporary mode that's the way I felt about everything else including the garbage and so it just got to the point where I have so much stuff in the apartment it's why even bother to take anything out because it it seemed overwhelming I think the hopelessness was really related to my sense of perfectionism that if I didn't do things perfectly then they didn't get done at all my life is fairly simple I'm collecting disability payments because I have a couple of physical disabilities and a mental disability so my time is my own it's uncomfortable in here for me so I tried to leave and go get something to eat somewhere and have some reading material with me my name is Wally Krasny angka and I've been Stephens friend for a little four years we hang out probably twice twice a week and I usually run into him like at the library it's easier to run into him then actually get a hold of him on the phone you know might figure it out I'll just walk by subway see if he's there maybe Jack rocks I've been like The Artful Dodger you know I can usually just meet on the outside somewhere you know you know I'd be like yeah what you know maybe we can hang out you know I can come over I don't know you know it's do you be like oh my apartment is kind of messy and I said oh well just just clean it no it's a little more than that I actually got to see a little bit of his apartment the door just kind of opened somewhat and he wanted to get whatever I I just I said Steve it's a dress Wow when I have been in a place where the pathway to to my where I was sleeping at I felt uneasy about that and this way I know I'm kind of secure because if someone tries to get to me they would have to go through a lot of stuff make a lot of noise but lately I had I had a problem because they had to do some maintenance on my apartment building and they could never come in to do the maintenance because the clutter was so bad I mean you know I am threatened with eviction [Music] I think if Steve gets kicked out I don't know what he's gonna do cuz once you've been homeless really can't get much worse than that [Music] and my apartments all the way at the end [Music] [Applause] I'm Dorothy Brennan jerk CEO of the Delphi Center for organization you want to go in first well first I want to take a good look and we have a path this is good yes I'm going in Steven and I were talking about what people typically say when they see a hoarding house or space and usually it's burn it up oh if I had a match okay can you unstuck my foot when you get over there yeah thank you my approach is so what do you want to keep I'm not throwing anything away it's all gonna be up to you so let's talk about what you want to keep like the plastics is that something that we're going to look at in terms of recycling or something that you want to keep I don't know the plastics I don't want to keep if we can recycle them fine I was thinking though maybe I could keep the caps because they have those numbers on them and you can go to their website get stuff and since we talked about a bunch of goals and when you're able to define what your life values are what's most important then everything else can kind of go out of the space and just keep what's important and for him a spiritual journey is what's interesting and important for him and he wants to write a book so we'll keep all of that that supports that goal and so I'll be asking you tomorrow will the lids fulfill on that for you will it keep you going down that spiritual path no or will it keep you stuck which is category number two it probably and but you know if you wanted to keep them you could because I'm not throwing anything away you're gonna be making those choices you have to look at what you're going to see after everything's cleaned up you know it's like beauty that's been covered up you want to remove that and value functionality I'm looking forward to it I'm I'm mentally ready for it on Saturday we are going to do a major cleanup have a cleanup crew coming a lot of things gonna go to the dump a lot of things gonna go to the thrift shop or wherever the junk people decide to take it the reason that she's dealing with this now is because it's gotten so out of control and there's no way that she can leave this house and the house can get sold and she can start a new life with all of this stuff I think a while there like if she would have got it cleaned up it probably would have gone back to the same state that it was in but now I think she's to the point where she's like wow I need I need help I need to get out of here I am done being the storage woman it's part of the reason things have piled up is because people left and left their stuff [Music] heart heart maybe like five percent the house is things that people left i am very skeptical and what its gonna and what's gonna happen i have very high hope that this will change her and this is what she needs to change your life good morning my name is dr. renee Bernardi I'm a psychologist and I specialize in obsessive-compulsive disorder and also hoarding through the Grand Tour I'm ready for the tour okay working with Linda I was if she falls into the very typical range compulsive hoarding is a very complex behavior that it's much more than just having a disorganized house and how long has it been been like this would you say it's been like this for a couple years it's a multi-faceted problem lots of pattern of thought lots of pattern of behavior there's oftentimes comorbid conditions depression anxiety eating disorders OCD attention deficit problems addiction difficulties trauma histories can all be contributing factors that lead to a hoarding symptom or a compulsive acquisition symptom you know I've got boxes of you know this kitchen stuff that you know I started to go through I've got things from the cabinet that I started to organize I took it out I started to organize and then something else happens I get distracted and it doesn't get put back okay so this is my bedroom okay there's three components that tend to be most common acquiring too much not knowing what to do with those things when they are acquired which leads to too much clutter in the house car workplace that makes daily activity difficult and causes distress or impairment to the person who has the hoarding problem I think that Lind is a good a good candidate for four treatments I think she is developing some good insights and is starting to take some personal responsibility for it and and I think she's very motivated all of a sudden I'm realizing that I have to do something to get out of here you can't get out of jail unless somebody opens the door and then once the door is open you better go because there's only one way out [Music] have a cleanup crew coming [Music] I'm going to salvage what I want to take with me put in a pod that is sitting in my driveway and get it ready to be sold and start my new life all right well we'll get started of course it's a big day big day for you so I think there are a couple of ground rules I do want Linda to be in charge of this process we want to check everything out with her first so she's the one that makes all the decisions with everything and and the person running the show now what we have to see is more of the behavioural aspects of it what is she going to be able to tolerate how long is she going to be able to work for how much is she going to be able to delegate and we're not going to know until we get started really ready to go the most important thing for me like I said is is I want to see some completion on this thing and it's it's overwhelming as you can throw as you can see oh boy Oh put it in the pot now is this gonna be go this is a go um you know what um this is a whole bunch of different clothes and I'm not even gonna yay this I'm I'm gonna not keep that's gonna say I'm gonna keep it but it's okay I think people view hoarding as a behavior that's easier to control and it actually is of well just clean it up or just throw it away or just stop shopping it's a pattern of behavior but it's also very biologically based and right now there's a lot of genetics research that's being done and there's actually a few genes that have been targeted to be associated with hoarding so there's lots of components to it the biological component ISM is an important one to understand and you know I'm not sure about this so I i'm gonna keep my measuring cup though dr. and Artie and my mom are downstairs sorting still and I think that's going good I just you know I'm kind of one of those people that want to get things done as fast as possible and I know that's this kind of process you don't do that so it's it's kind of hard for me because you know I just want to get the ball rolling and get things out of here you want me to do like the old freezer and those old bikes that you wear to talk about those Kindle yeah please be awesome the sting that you experience when you leave a sessions like that that's gonna fade right so just a little bit yeah um the stuff that's out something you know like all the junk that's outside like you know old broken toys and stuff should we just start getting some of that out while they're waiting because I don't know all this stuff out here that you already said you wanted to go like the old bed frame like this old chair the chair yeah but um I think it'd be good if your mom could be there let's we just want to do one area at a time so I know that you're excited to you know get stuff process and we'll get to it so I'm buddy well I'm just saying they're just like standing up and raining that there yeah take the chair take the chair and I just pace I I don't see us getting doesn't even half the house there's still so much that needs to be done that's junk I think that in Linda being able to do this on her own and kind of the slow process and the beginning is very there there are some concerns for people it is a skill so just like anything else the first time that we do it is gonna be it's gonna go a little slow I mean we could go in we could use it the crew we could traumatize her and you know just kind of plow forward with it and get the house clean but you know what in two months we'd probably have to come back again in the past part of the problem was my own anxiety and I wasn't sure what to do with stuff yeah they wanted to be helpful and in the process I felt pressure which equaled more anxiety right and then I just couldn't make a decision [Music] all right guys [Music] you know worksheet is yeah left issues issues okay my greatest fear is that she's just gonna you know procrastinate on getting more things done when you know she wants to get out so bad get out of the house but she doesn't have people pushing her and motivating her to keep going she's not gonna make a lot of progress in the weeks to come a really cool vacuum thing yeah how about that [Applause] so what I want to do is minimize the fears yes you know keep it safe yes keep you knowing that you don't have to throw things away yes but you're going to because I can just see it in you is there anything else that you want to say like you're worried or concerned about right now no no I think it's a process and you've laid out a very good process so there should be no fear in it involved okay [Applause] that's I don't know apparently that that was okay you guys are getting ready to open another look at that how about that once dipped down it is a milestone I'm glad Dorothy's doing it back there because I completely trust her she's got the experience he's got the capable and experienced in loving hands there's gonna be about six bags of clothing you can keep all the clothing in there and and put it over to hold it yeah we have a hallway how about that we're gonna stop and you're gonna tour and look at everything okay it just assess like a boss would going through and say okay this looks good team great keep going okay looks yeah that's good isn't that wonderful yeah everything's here I feel like I'm sort of giving in a little bit you know because I want to fight the good fight to hit under this stuff you know but it's it's not healthy I I understand that you know you just you just have to let go no okay it goes whenever there's like mold or mildew or something like that then you want to at least I want to wear a mask so I put up a little humidifier to make it more palatable this is really tough because it's all human excrement and stuff like that and it's tough and I know this was embarrassing for him and it's hard for me as an organizer just human beings this is so embarrassing for most people involved now you can you can at this point pull anything you think you want but this is stuff where if it were me I would say toss it mm-hmm I don't want to keep the comb I've been kind of looking for that great yeah oh no a few of the toiletries and the clothing that's obvious AHA but this does not support fun mind body and soul you're right absolutely you're right you are a new man [Music] there's a lot of people going through my stuff and so you know there's always something about that you know where where you kind of say well you know there's you know the problem got so bad that you got now three people going through your stuff but I know that next week when it's one of my place is cleaned up I'll feel a whole lot of the reason we're not sorting anymore he's hit as a limit even if it looks like it's trash it's gonna be sorted but I just want you to take a few shovelfuls and put it in okay okay good job so tell me what you're thinking right now I'm thinking that I'm never gonna let it get this way again yeah that's what I'm thinking okay and how how I got into this mess in the first place is it's almost beyond me you know I can't understand it you know because this is I mean we finally have I finally have space but it's amazing that I'd let it get this bad it's really amazing [Music] good morning trying to wake up hardwork hasted yeah yeah yesterday by the end of the day I was beat up physically and I was felt good but my body was hurting all over [Music] I'm exhausted I'm not lying you know that's gonna be part of the process I was so tired last night I was physically ill today I slept really good last night and refreshed I'm ready to go good I can't believe all this was in the Attic that is nuts like that attic is only about this tall so some of this is kitchen and some of this is kitchen some of this is some of this might even be a little of the kitchen things that overflowed when our sorting kitchen rat poop so we have papers to keep exotica we have papers to shred huh old wet Valentine's cards save stuff save stuff I tossed a lot of boxes already donate donate I just toss that okay okay good all right like Christmas all that unwrapping for some random I don't even know what that is that stuff like I don't know if I should throw away or not the kiss I don't know if it's something my mom might you know be like oh where was that naked statue thingy just if we do have it coming they got pretty much everything out everything's down on the tarps on the Turks okay you know what I'd like to do I'd like to stop this one at a time right yeah one thing I'd like to stop this and then I can come assess and say take take oh one thing at a time right yeah it all gets done all right I can do it but the other thing is I do need to look at it yeah she originally said she's just gonna probably throw away all of it and now she's like she just came out there and said yeah I kind of changed my mind I needed to look through there so yeah these are all dolls that are no good that window he's got to save these are really nice for somebody's baby Same Same Same Oh these were man Dez and we had a really special friend that made these somebody made this room and oh and I have to show this to her a lot of it was baby things and a little hang-up there and this was Heather's yeah yeah well it brings back a lot of memories I think and my aunt made this and she's gone now yeah she was getting stressed out toward the end because she wanted to get a lot done and it's it's a long process but it's worth worth the time yeah yeah I didn't even know this stuff was up there I forgot about it sure I don't know it's probably gonna take a while because there's a lot of stuff out there so right you're just stuck because we had a good tempo going and we're getting rid of stuff and I'm pulling over the frame I got it I got it you know we were all working together and I said to stop I need to go get Steven because it's so poignant it's so informative mm-hmm and this is just one little part of the room so I just want you to think just sit here with me and think about it for a second okay and then tell me what else comes out for you it shows hopelessness and out-of-control deep hopelessness that deep out-of-control not just a little bit out of control wildly yeah out of control this behavior is slowly killing myself it's toxic it's toxic behavior it's not toxic or I'm gonna die right away it's gonna be a slow agonizing death if I keep it up this way and that's the truth you're gonna make me cry it's true I don't want you to have slow agonizing death do I you [Music] I'm looking for inspired food because that that's my new chore for the moment are you checking dates are you just throwing I know but leaking doesn't mean it's bad and these these I just got ok so I'm trusting you but I'm getting a little bit nervous cuz these are really expensive and I just got them you got it yes ok ok I understand where I'm coming from yeah but do you understand where I'm coming can you explain to me anything that we can any other areas we can start or anything no I can't do any more than I'm doing I can't think of anything to do on us I can't think of anything else I can't even think I'm feeling really pressure ok in doing this process there's a lot of friction that certainly can come up I think there was friction at times between her and some of the cleanup people just because she was so panicky wanting to make use of them at one point she was saving more for a little while as her anxiety increased but then she kind of had that release of energy I know is tossing stuff in the truck herself Julie banks going on maiden bull yes who needs to go to it as we speak she's out there throwing stuff into the truck which is which can appear like issue distress I think it's something that is very empowering for her sorry you know my tendency is that right he's out don't say that right because it's a swim and I can sell it no one's gonna buy a 1980s show in no save it sorry no-one's know you know what I've done a really good job do what I can when I can which try to come help her when I can but I've had a lot of patience last couple days no no if I can do that for too long on three one two three it isn't realistic to think in a week or in two days that we're gonna be able to clean out the house and have it stay there long term I would say almost always when the person who hoards is not involved the house is gonna get cluttered again and usually clutter pretty quickly so it is better to do it this way even though it takes a little bit longer up front it's much better and long-term I think we got one let's walk around let's see what we got okay let's do this here's this okay I'm just a mast I'm done okay okay no problem okay ready am I ready okay we're walking in okay come on boy it's gonna be different that's for sure boy look at that don't have to step over anything that is so nice oh wow oh wow go in there oh look at this I can hang up my towel shirts I can do a little greeting listen I like that the rocks is cool why you know I did the rocks because there's spiritual you know and bringing some of nature mother earth in which is what you said you want it that is so nice okay oh oh what do I see look at that that's beautiful oh thank you I got a desk in a bookshelf that's what I wanted oh thank you how did I know what are you thinking I'm thinking I'm gonna have a new life no I'm gonna have the life I've always wanted but never had and we're gonna see what happens we unlocked yesterday uncluttered - unlocked most definitely and we're opening the door of creativity I had this problem for my whole life and I got good at getting around it most of the time and so I called for help and I got help because I needed it I almost lost this place and I love living here I had to be homeless to come into this place we all did who came in here Wow Wow the kitchen is ready this is awesome Wow I love this that's my office that's my first official journal right there my life journal and this so you would read so I don't know if you know this but the building manager came in here today uh-huh because he was being evicted me oh yeah and to think that oh sure we conclude this space out but cleaned and sort of redecorated in a matter of two days so he came to check on us and guess what you know you get to stay beneficially okay yeah there's no question about it and that's really proud of you thank you I definitely can't go back to old habits cuz I don't want to disappoint anybody Wow I love this okay that's it we're done [Laughter] [Music] [Music] now it's just kind of at a standstill they're both talking to their attorneys my mom and my dad trying to figure out what the next step is they got denied on a home loan which was gonna pay to fix up the house so that they could sell it [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Chase Gallagher

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Id: 7jiCUzok13w

Length: 44min 59sec (2699 seconds)

Published: Wed May 13 2020