Helluva Boss Therapist Analysis: This Is How You Build Resilience

So today we're going to be dealing with blitzo yes blitzo the O is silent but it was only silent later so we're going to be going through his childhood and how he dealt with trauma and his parental relationship and how it made him stronger in certain ways I'm also sick so I apologize for how I sound me trying to get through it as best as I can but I kind of lost my voice you ready BL born ready [Music] I love this opening scene to blitzo love this interaction because you really get to see blitzo and that J deiv that he's really like he's literally flying through the air but he just kind of takes life as it comes and can fully enjoy it I think that that's one of the things that stolas really attaches to him we often find an attraction or a like for other people that have traits that we don't have that we wished we could have and what is the opposite about being born into a royal family where everything that you do is curated and looked over and you have to act a certain way but join the circus hey folks want to see me make a horse crap and a lot about who we are isn't how we deal with things when things are going well it's how do we deal with things when things are tough when things don't work out the way that we hope to that's our show of resilience and resiliency is actually strongly inclined with life success people that can be more resilient that can think on their feet that can figure things out even when they don't go the way that they had planned end up being very successful and I think that that's one of these traits that you see right away from blitzo because every time he tries to make the horse it doesn't work out the way he wants but he makes the best out of what he has and success doesn't have to be financially wealthy it is about being adaptive that you can figure out to do the best with what you have on hand it really is that adage of when life hand you lemons you make lemonade I like lemons I think that's still a good thing lemons aren't a bad thing I don't know and I think that for blitzo he's learned this on his own not really from a parental figure because it seems like there really isn't a parental figure that is there to help to him or show him different things and for a lot of people when they're they think to themselves that they kind of have to do everything or learn it on their own they learn to be Street smarts that's the problem with bubble wrapping children is that if you helicopter too much if you fix things you don't learn to get back up that's one of the main life skills that we need to learn so you don't get that fear of failure it's to be able to make mistakes and how do you handle it so that you can get back up but if someone's always there fixing things things for you doing too much for you you don't learn to depend on yourself you don't learn to adapt sometimes we learn the biggest skills through our failures through our mistakes now you don't want to have your child though learn horrible mistakes or things that are going to be catastrophic to them you do want to allow children to have something that's age appropriate to their failures so little things that they learn that they can get better that failure doesn't destroy them and that will stop them from having a fear of failure in their future [Music] fors well and you see that small look that he has of sadness where it didn't come out the way that he wanted to but he also adapted really quickly that he's going to figure something out he has a plan he's thinking many steps ahead that actually forethought of thinking is that frontal lobe that develops of consequences to actions and he is thinking through things of how am I going to handle this this is the best that I can do with this how am I going to be able to spin it and in this case this is a learned behavior not a personality trait now of course there are some people that are more inclined to be able to think more steps ahead some people are more in the moment some people are more in the future well it was a horse but then it ate too much sugar and like stopped working so amputate now it's a gross worm horse see he gets it cuz horses they make no sense and it's just such a cute story like I'm so proud of blitzo to be able to figure this out he's all alone on stage he's so young in front of all of these adults and even though things go really poorly he makes this entertaining little story which I don't know for me that's so much more entertaining than just having a balloon horse okay blitzo that's enough horse in around hey every everybody look at this it's banana pudding the clown horsey now that's really difficult when we talk about our self-esteem when you have someone that's close to you that is in the same area or in the same field or doing the same thing as you are and constantly Does It Better can really grate on who we are as a person and that can kind of make us go two ways for some people that might make us want to quit an activity alt together because it hurts constantly doing the best that you can and ending up second best or even worse but for other people it can do the opposite that can drive you to try to do more to do better to figure things out it can make you have a stronger Drive can make you more resilient and it can make you keep at something and want to get better so that you can show someone that you're better than what people thought and a lot of people that are overachievers it's often because of an injury of not being good enough in one of the areas of their life or not having the people around you you really recognize you or see you so you kind of have to become larger than life in order to overcompensate for that feeling or that wound real great so that little clown that you have my son really enjoyed that one I was wondering if I could buy him buy him purchase him yes accurate and that's why in therapy we always ask about what happened how were you raised what were the type of parents that you had it does make a huge difference to your personality part of your person personality is Born Into and part of it is how you rais the people around you and how they felt about you a lot of our self-esteem and self-worth is somewhat born through the way that our parents saw us how much they valued us and that's why this scene is so important and also so painful well feri is a big drawer he has a few more shows to be in today so it would be pretty expensive no no the other one blit correct how much well he's my son so ah how much you got in your pocket and I know that this is a huge exaggeration but I've seen so many people go through the trauma of being the child that is not the Golden Child the black sheep or the one that is discarded or not cared about sometimes it's a friend that you're constantly being compared to someone else it doesn't even have to be in the family and that's so very painful don't ever do that don't ever compare your child your girlfriend or boyfriend or friends to other people well they do this better it's so painful and it also causes resentment among those two people often some people do it because they think that oh this is going to make them competitive and they're going to want to do better which sometimes happens but it makes them also lose the trust and you and feel animosity towards the other person so it is a true negative situation to go through even if for some people it might make them have a very strong drive a wed up five in a slim fit condom that's plenty done Splendid fetch him for me and we will be on our way and for some people even after their parents are like after they've reached adulthood they still carry this chip on their shoulder that they're never good enough no matter how much money they make no matter how how much success they have they are constantly kind of wanting this one person to look up to them and see them as having value but even if they do they still don't feel a healing of that wound because in the end they've imparted it into themselves they've carried this on and kept on saying this story inside of their head that they're not worth as much as someone else or they're not good enough and whenever I see people that are superachievers I always wonder if they also have had that type of a wound and that's why they feel the need that they always have to achieve that even after they've climbed one mountain it's not good enough they're already thinking of the next Mountain that they have to achieve I have B pudding and I like to dance I am worm horse I I am sad why are you sad worm horse because I have no legs oh well that's okay I lost of my legs in the war the war yes the great pirate war no no pirate the great pirate War if you keep talking about Pirates I will punch you play is the way that kids learn they don't actually learn very well sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day having someone just kind of impart knowledge to them by talking they learn by interacting by how to engage how to speak how to look how do you deal with different situations and a lot of those social skills are what happens also during this playtime of how do I interact what happens if things go wrong what is the give and take in social situations so it's really important to allow kids to just play and to play instead of being in front of a screen but to actually see other people so that we're taking in all of that learning of facial features and micro expressions and how someone reacts when they like something versus when they don't I fought bravely but I cannot run fast enough it took my legs there was blood everywhere oh no ew no blood BL is disgusting no it's cool well banana pting is here to save the day and you can also see their two personality types and how fitzeri is a little bit more timid and doesn't really like this and blitzo is kind of always challenging trying to take something one more step he took that blood is gross as oh I'm going to show you how strong and tough I am by saying how wonderful it is that actually helps us grow and adapt and learn to take risks try new things and see what happens and sometimes it goes well sometimes it goes poorly but then you will adapt and learn from that not always the first time sometimes it takes a few magical feet he dances around with he will dance all over war was to make him feel better and then there'll be more BL just keep on thinking about the carpet I guys don't care about that and imaginative play is where we learn our creativity all of the things that it seems like often school or the industrial system kind of tries to take away from us we then need to kind of bring back and give back to ourselves to try new things to think outside of the box to look at things from different angles to see what you can do and that's really good for your brain's development so you can think of things through different facets instead of the one that someone just gives to you it also helps us with risk-taking standing up for yourself and the different ways of how are you going to cope with different situations kids often use toys to go through different traumas or wounds that they've gone through or worries that they have they do that through play you can hear them saying that through their dolls or Lego and that's how they learn how to problem solve it's also really effective and really essential so I think that we often look at play as something silly or ridiculous it is not really useful where most of the learning that kids are doing is doing their play time so that's so gross stop a boy I got a job for you you are going to spend the day with one of the goisha princes you see the way they cash bucko kind of just grabs blitzo by the arm like it's not thoughtful it's just kind of Taken like a piece of property like a thing to him you can see a lot by the way that people look and interact with each other it's completely different than the way that stus interacts with his daughter and unconsciously that teaches us what our worth was our value is to the people around us and that's why you want to be able to take a moment to be able to interact with people especially if you're going to be asking them to do something that is difficult or scary or worrisome ew why because money now listen carefully you are being B out to be his playmate do you see the look on blitz's face that oppositional you can already tell that there's a lot of fight in blitzo blitzo doesn't just take things and allow it to happen even from this young age he has some Defiance in him he listens he questions a lot of times we want to get rid of that in children these leadership traits of of being able to question authority actually it's really important might make it difficult sometimes to raise a child that will question you test you ask things fight with you about things but actually those are all leadership traits that later as adults you want people to have and that can be really adaptive and protective but I want you to steal as much from those rich as you possibly can steal but what if I get caught don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent better food don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out of course I want to help Mama and you see how many of those manipulation techniques are used to be able to make him do what he wants when you have a parental face figure that is abandoning or neglectful you often end up with an avoidant personality type avoidant personality type usually learns that the only person that they can depend on is themselves and often has great difficulty in attaching themselves in a meaningful way to others because they're so worried that if people really knew who they were that they would reject them as well they have this underlying belief that everyone will sell them out or hurt them or leave them and so I think that that also goes into play a little later in the relationship between stus and Blitz how Blitz doesn't really notice or isn't even able to take in how much stus actually cares about him and so that ends up making all of these kind of superficial relationships where you're not really letting people into your defenses and because you're not really letting people in they're not really getting that close and what also can happen is that you're going to bail on someone else before they bail on you or have a whole bunch of superficial relationships to try to F that deep need that you don't allow yourself to believe that you actually have for a true intimate one then you got to do this everything those Rich will be worth a fortune but if I'm caught I'm scared dad there are scarier things aren't there son what a horrible answer that is I'm scared yeah but there's scarier things right like that's like the answer of like you know like I'm crying while I'll give you something to cry about you want to be able when someone is upset or worried about something to affirm to validate that teaches people that their feelings matter that doesn't mean that they can change everything because of that but at least that they're heard validated and understood that they're allowed to have that space But that even more so will make someone be even more avoidant they might even become avoidant to their own emotions so that they don't even know how they're feeling don't even allow themselves to feel genuine emotions because in the end they're going to end up mimicking the same thing their parents did or parental figures did did which is dismiss them they end up dismissing it themselves and for some people they don't even know how they feel at any point in time so they might think they might be angry but think that they're feeling a belly ache or they have cramps or that they have a headache but really what they're feeling might be anger or sadness they might not even be aware of the different Sensations that attach to different emotions cuz different Sensations attached to different feelings so sometimes if your heart rate is beating faster it could be anxiety or it could be anger but you want to be able to understand the relationship between the two for you and each person is different but yes [Music] papa I like that also I I I know he's being like you know really obstinate but I love it love him kind of grabbing his arm like fine I'm doing this stop holding my arm I'm doing this on my own now leave me alone like good for you here is your new friend my son a happy birthday a friend I guess hi uh I'm blo I'm Stoess it's nice ouch out of that one you can also tell that blitzo is paying attention to everything right he's not he's aware of the way that the world works his reactions to how stus is treated he's like waa what in the world was that that's not cool he gets it and for a lot of people that are kind of on their own for a lot of time they're paying paying attention to everything that's happening because they know they have to depend on themselves so because of that they're taking in situations to a greater degree than kids that are sheltered they don't really have to worry about anything cuz nothing bad's going to happen to them they have people that will protect them this is my book on the difference between frogs and toads there's a lot of differences and this is my book on plants and herbs did you know plants can hear you plants are boring this is all boring stuff oh and that's the refreshing thing about kids is that they'll just say exactly how they feel for the good and for the bad they're just going to tell you exactly how you feel and that's why a lot of people feel comfortable with kids because they'll just say it they don't like something or if you smell or if something is weird they'll ask you there's no masking involved and so that's the good part also though about kids hanging out with other kids is that they learn really quickly about the things that are maybe a little bit off in their behavior and they learn to adapt it and so in this case blitzo is completely bored with it and so he just says I'm bored let's do something else and in a way that's a huge gift because that allows stolas to change what he's doing and do something so that they can both enjoy their time together it's going to be kind of con but usually in these situations at least then they can find something that they hopefully will both enjoy whereas with people sometimes we end up saying yes to something that in our head we wish we said no to and having a horrible time and we don't want to do this again and the other person thinks they love this let's do this every single time I'm sorry I've never had to friend to share my books with this is kind of sad that he doesn't have toys so all that he has are his books to share that's what he's played with are the books which is also kind of sad cuz kids do need to play in order to develop that doesn't mean that books are bad books are also an extension but there's a variety of skills that you want to learn when you're young and develop and if you only develop one set of skills you're lacking in other areas so you want a variety of different situations and different toys and different typ play Let's play treasure hunt what's that it's where we pretend we are pirates and we go around the house collecting all the nicest things it's kind of brilliant like it's a pretty brilliant idea that he has in order to still be with him not have to sneak anything and look like he's stealing and grab everything and that's just part of the game like it's kind of smart like it really does show his Ingenuity and then we throw them out the window we throw them out the window yes since when did pirates throw things out windows since like the D of Time come on Pirates are always throwing stuff out windows I don't think they had Windows that's where like Stoess I love that he pushes back cuz he has such a large knowledge base from reading everything that they have this back and forth about it because yeah the windows part you you kind of lost me on that one too but what did the books say that Yes actually several well in this game we are throwing them out the window because it's fun well that's an OD game is this an imp game but for stoas he's so excited to have a friend to have someone else there he's going to do whatever he has to to keep a friend and that often happens to people that have been sheltered they want so much other people to like them that they can become overly generous overly caretaking or even take abuse or mistreatment because they just don't want to be alone and so for blitzo he's able to take advantage of that fact and use it to his benefit and kids are actually really ADT at knowing who they can take advantage of and when and how far sure why not well if it's what you want to play Let's Do [Music] It come on come on come on just the difference in CIO is also kind of funny because for blitzo he's been like running and doing the circus so he's really really fit and for stolas he's kind of left the sheltered life so he's not using used to running plus I guess he has wings so maybe he flies every once in a around while but it's the difference between a sedentary life and a non-sedentary life also which I think is just kind of [Music] cute blitzo over here it's such a painful thing when you see relationships where one person only cares about the other one to what they can give to them and that's what blitzo has learned that's the way that his father treated him and so that's the way that he ends up treating stolas even later on that he's leared that people's value depends on what they can do or give to you and the same thing that he feels about himself and it becomes difficult because we learn what the rules of the world are through our parental relationships and so we end up starting to apply that even if later in life they become maladaptive or they actually a detriment to ourselves and the relationships around us so what is that your diary no this is my new grimo it's a spell book I have to learn it so that I can access the Living World the living world like the one with humans and stuff where the Sinners come from mhm that's cool yes like and this could be the moment that they could have had if they just hung out together and kind of enjoy it and get to know each other for who they are this is these sweet intimate moments where children just share things their hopes and their dreams with one another and interact and deal with how they feel and for Solace I think that it really meant a lot to him that blitzo really appreciated and thought it was cool what he could bring well you know what I'm going to do when I grow up I'm going to run my own zerus and I'm going to be the most famous imp ever and I'll be able to do it I want to do all day I'm going to make so much money and buy myself a big building with a big office and you see how achievement oriented blitzo is even from a really young age he has that drive to want to do better to be better he wants to prove it probably because he wants to prove that to his father so he's imparted that and that often is a trait that someone will then keep all the way through adulthood a lot of people again like I spoke of before those superachievers they end end up having a wound or an injury of someone hurting them or not thinking that they were good enough so because of that they're constantly having to prove that they are and that can be really good in that it makes you achieve a lot of things but it can be really detrimental also because it can sometimes make you put achievement or money or success or titles ahead of the people around you and a lot of times only later in life do you look back and realize that none of that really matters the things that really matter in life are the relationships that you have the people that you have and you spent so much time trying to fix this wound to chase this goal that is ephemeral and doesn't really matter that you didn't spend the time with the people that you loved when you could and now it's too late a big office for a circus yeah a big office circus business will clown and horses and the horses will have good names like stapler and biscuit Queen I don't get that they'll all have good names cuz horses usually have silly names is that what the play is upon tell me in the comments I don't know that sounds like a good business yeah and if you apply I'll hire you maybe you'll hire me yeah if I feel like it well I hope I qualify you'd be a good boss okay that's just the cutest thing because like he's a prince and he's like royalty and he's rich and he's so touched that blitzo actually says that I would hire you that I will have you work for me and I think it's just so cute the interplay because kids don't know about status and different Rank and money none of that really matters to them all that matters is how you make me feel how much joy you bring me do we have fun together do we laugh together well do you like my drawings like it's the simple stuff and I think that those are still the things that in adulthood the people that we want to have around us the people that bring us joy make us feel better make us feel alive and appreciated you say that with sarcasm but I toot [Laughter] would I thought that he was serious about it but maybe was sarcastic says he didn't question it but I don't know I think that stus usually says the things that he means most of the time so I think it was kind of genuine and I do think that it is something that he does care about which is being a good boss and I think that in these few scenes we see a lot of the character traits that makes Blitz who he is the things that drive him the things that he cares about and why because of the things that he's been through himself if you hate ads belov me or want to hear all the Saucy words that I cannot put because YouTube then you might as well get nebula and you should get nebula through my link yes you can get it through someone else's link please yes I need all the help 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Channel: Georgia Dow

Views: 60,196

Keywords: psychology, psychotherapy, therapy, self help, life coach, psychotherapist, self improvement

Id: dnYb0LIsyZU

Length: 29min 5sec (1745 seconds)

Published: Wed May 01 2024