Hazbin Hotel Therapist Analysis: Angel's Abuse

today we're going to be dealing with a more serious topic which is the psychology of abusive relationships and what happens and what you can do about it I have a really hard time the way that everyone treats Angel and I think that people undermine Angel and don't really appreciate all the wonderful traits that angel has and I'll be doing a video specifically on that and how I think that angel is one of the more deep characters on the show that does not get credit for it what the hell am I then you're an important part of our family here angel but you um constantly make us look bad I've literally never once tried to improve it's just nice to have someone interested for [Music] once you can see how that really hurts angel that even here with his friends they don't truly see him or I'll say more aptly he doesn't believe they see him wow PES at this rate you will'll be redeemed in no time I'm going to bed I am so proud of you sir penes that was amazing you like me you really like me when you feel hurt by someone else's comment especially when they didn't mean to hurt you you can see that this comment of someone else being proud and recognizing someone else's performance when you did the same thing can be really hurtful and when you feel a lot of hurt from a comment that was not intended that often links to a wound that this is something that you hope and want for yourself and so that's what Angel wants to be seen and recognized for who he is instead of who he puts on or the way that he looks they both did the play together and serenus was the only one that was really noticed for it for Charlie serenus is the one that she's trying to rehabilitate but that kind of means that angel is forgotten in this or at least angel believes he's forgotten in it angel baby come home it's not the same without you here I miss you angel you if you don't come home you will be greasy truckers for the next year hey I'm morito I didn't mean to yell but you know how crazy you make me that is really common in abusive relationships this off and on really really kind love bombing someone and then hurtful knocking them back down so that the recipient is never feeling safe in a secure environment which causes them to want to perform more because they want that dopamine hit from someone that really cares and loves them and also it keeps them on the toes that they're trying to do more and more each time because they think that if they do more this person will be happy hey Angie about earlier kill your whole works really stressful little suing piece of and this often happens that when you're down that's when you're going to return When the people that you care about have disappointed you you might return to that cycle of abuse because even though it's abusive it's the abuse you know and there's a certain amount of comfort I hate using that word but you feel like that's your normal that's your Baseline what you know and when we are lost without things we often return to what we know even if it isn't Pleasant you actually think you can change adct trash like you doesn't change and it feeds it feeds our own levels of insecurity and negativity and it becomes our voice that's the Insidious part of emotional abuse or physical abuse is that the person the abuser is often trying to undermine us trying to make us not feel like we're worthy that we have value it's their way of controlling us so that you don't leave because often the abuser is very insecure and needs to control others in order to feel better about themselves I'll see you soon baby and that's the cycle of abuse that they're mean to you you leave you might leave and then they're really really nice and kind and say sweet things and then it starts all over again and often the cycle gets worse and worse more positive where you get that dopamine high and more angry and upset and that can become very dangerous so much so that your life could be in danger and that's why it's so Insidious because it kind of Cycles through and you don't notice that it's getting worse and worse each time sorry not now fat nuggets because we feel such negativity because we feel so lost we can often go to different addictions to try to numb it now in Angel's case angels using alcohol and drugs but many people use other things such as food or controlling behaviors or dealing with OCD it's often to shut off those voices that are in your head because we carry around this inner monologue that is often telling us our value and in abusive relationships we often do not have a lot of self-esteem a lot of feelings of empowerment and that negativity is swirling and quite distressing for our inner self and so it's not just an addiction it's an addiction that is effective at actually making us feel for a moment better and for some people that is all that they're going on and that's why it's such a multi-layered thing it's not just one issue that we're often dealing with kittens Got Claws me I see right through you and all this bull and how fake you are wow I had no idea guess that's why I'm an actor people that are in these abusive relationships are dealing with abuse they are they're pretending that everything's okay often for fear their own embarrassment or for fear of other people thinking why did you do this or you must be weak to be able to have someone that is controlling you or manipulating you and going through this and often people that are in abusive relationships aren't even aware that they're in it it can be many different forms it can be emotional abuse physical abuse Financial abuse ways of being controlled sometimes we don't really want to confront that we're there because then we might have to do something about it and that can be terrifying not just because they might have already gained all kinds of financial control but it could also be that feeling of Abandonment or doing things on your own and then that negative selft talk feeds it because you're saying to yourself not just they're saying to you but you're now saying to yourself that I have no value I can't do this I'm not going to be able to survive without this person and then they have that control over you and then they can do with you as they need all that thought hello uh yeah I'm I'm no no I just no I I'm not but yeah I'll be right there and you see how Angel is trying to do that appeasement which doesn't work but often when someone gets upset especially when you're afraid of Confrontation you try to dance more in your mind you think that if you are more perfect if you do things right they'll appreciate you or see you or not yell or not hurt you emotionally or physically unfortunately it doesn't work because you're someone else El's batting board so if there's something wrong that's happening in their life they're going to be taking it out on you no matter what you do looks like B needs me for emergency shoot sure you I don't give a sh what some drunk botanda thinks of me so why don't you just crawl back to whatever cave you came from porn critic for Angel it's more than just what he's doing is being demeaned and when we talk about people that are sex workers it is one of those areas that even for here in Hell Angel gets treated quite poorly because of what he does but also because of this front that angel puts on often people when they feel maligned by those around them are testing people testing their limits pushing them away because it's so much less hurtful if you push me away because I'm being overt or doing things for shock value because it would hurt so much more if you're going to abandon or leave me because of who I am and so that's another one of the reasons that angel has this fake demeanor overthe toop demeanor it's his way of testing people and it just hurts less that they might abandon him because he believes that they will abandon him but at least it's going to be because he's pushing them away himself it's the rock that he threw at himself instead of the rock that others are throwing at him kittens Got Claws me and you don't get me started I see right through you and all this bll and I think that it's really disconcerting for Angel that husk sees through this fallacy this fake outer exterior when you're trying to fake that everything is okay and someone can see through you it can feel really disconcerting it makes you feel very insecure because in order for you to feel okay you need for everyone else to pretend that it's okay also but that feeds the lie and allows things to stay at the status quo so it's also a dangerous game because some people will believe you and you may not get the help that you need either some people enable but for some people they are feeding off of the fact that you don't want them to feel that shame or embarrassment or feel the worst feel sorry for you or judge you for it or look at you as weak all of those questions you might have inside of your head of who you are you don't want other people to believe them either often that fear of judgment from others is what keeps us quiet and living this life lie action oh no so many burglar whatever shall I do and so the question of the amount of sex workers that have gone through emotional or traumatic experience it's actually quite High especially if they've been abused learning that their body is one of their Commodities now that is not always the case but it is much higher for those that are in sexually natured jobs at a much higher rate than the population at l large so there is definitely a link especially to Childhood trauma and abuse to then using that as a commodity later so this is something for Angel that probably this did not just start with Val this might have started much earlier and that would be quite common having therapy for people that have gone through trauma is so much more important because there's nothing wrong with choosing to go into a sexually related job but to go into it because of a wound or a hurt we shouldn't be making any choices because of a hurt or a wound it should be choices that we make because it's the best choice for us in the ever loving are you doing here I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel now where's your boss oh no no no no no no no no angel doesn't fear things for himself but he definitely fears having Charlie in this place he doesn't want Charlie to go through the things that he does and he wants to protect her that's why he's trying to get rid of her as quickly as possible before Val finds out please please just wait wait until I'm done working and we will talk about about this I promise but first you got to go ah your majesty and you see that once Val notices the terror in angel's eyes there's a danger here that Charlie has no clue about and Angel wants to protect her angel is really protective of those that he cares about again that'll be on another video angel can I see you in your dressing room for a moment F I didn't know that f i you really think you can have Lucifer's little fight your battles that's the thing with abusers is they are often exceptionally insecure they need to control other people in order to feel good with themselves and they'll do whatever they can to regain that control often that means pushing others away from the person that they want to have and making them feel that they need them to survive financially emotionally and physically and they can often get really angry and irate when they feel like they're losing control down please I'm sorry you bring her here to protect you to F and they don't care right when they're in that rage especially because a lot of people that are abusers are often narcissistic or carry a whole bunch of narcissistic traits so even though Angel is trying to plead trying to make better trying to stem the anger it doesn't matter they feel like they've been disrespected they feel like they've been humiliated and especially when it happens in front of others because they need that affirmation for others to feel good about themselves because inside of them the abusers don't they feel like they're not good enough they feel like they're insecure and so the only way that they can feel secure is to control those around them because inside they believe that if they didn't have this control people would leave them now does that mean that these abusers don't have any choice choice or control no they could choose to get help or do things better especially since often they've also gone through usually abuse themselves it's often hard because those that lean more towards narcissism often are not that aware that they have the issue they really keep on telling themselves that this is everyone else's fault and if you just did what I told you or wanted to I wouldn't have to get angry you're making me do this often people don't reach a feeling of self-awareness on their own and so the cycle continues to with me you think she can get you out of work no seal sees this as angel doing this against him that it is Charlie versus him that he's going to lose control of angel or lose Angel to Charlie and that's the thing is that Val sees this as Angel betraying him that he's going to lose control of Angel to an outside source and that's why in so many of these abusive relationship they try to push everyone else away so they can have their person all to themselves and they won't have any chance of Escape no that's not what I'm trying to do no and they often have this fear of being mocked this fear of looking like they are weak or being humiliated by others again that feeds their own negative selft talk and what feeds this abusive cycle you know she can't do anything I own own you or have you forgotten that people that have been in abusive relationships and often people think well you must be weak that you would let someone do this it's completely untrue it's often Insidious it's often something that starts off as something very small and gets worse and worse it's an emotional start where you feel so loved and cared about this person puts you on a pedestal love bombs you and then slowly starts to peel away at your feelings of self at your ability to be autonomous and then we feed off of that need to have them that dopamine from feeling so cared about and so loved and it's an off andon relationship where they love you one moment and then don't love you or hard or cruel or abusive to you the next and that often on switch creates an addiction like reaction just like the reaction we have to slot machines inside of our brain we can be addicted to love and sometimes also addicted to not being treated well we don't really see it that way at the time but often in retrospect looking back we deserved better but sometimes we don't feel like we do and so it can be linked to an inner feeling of low selfworth but it's not even always that case sometimes we also can find an affinity because of our own parental relationships where we might have had an absent or a neglectful parent and because of that to have someone that every single focus is on us can also feel really good and that can start to defeat it when I say you say yes Valentino when I say you are 20 guys before lunch you say yes Valentino and I think it's very interesting to note that for Angel it was easy to say yes to a peas vow with everything that had to do with him because often they think that if I just give them what they want things are going to be okay they're going to be more calm and that fear of Confrontation that fear of dealing with that anger having someone angry at you you can overpower us when I say you better get that out of my studio you say you say but when it comes to his friends you can see it's a much more difficult thing Angel cares more about his friends than he fears Val and I think that that's one of Angel's really beautiful traits I think that some people on the show have missed how very protective and caring Angel is because he pretends like everything is Glitz and fake but inside his friends matter to him very deeply more than they do for himself and so hopefully I would say to Angel you need to work on your inner voice and treat yourself the way that you would treat your friends look Val she just gets involved in everything I I'll tell her to leave just don't hurt her and that also often happens in abusive relationships that they're going to use the threat of hurting those you care about so that you stay so that they can keep control and for a lot of people that's why they do stay not only is it that they understand this and know this but that they're trying to protect those around them from this threat of violence or financial ruin or embarrassment or harm to those that they care about and so the abuser will end up using that against you I don't want to give the feeling that it's okay to be an abuser I also don't want to lie and say that they haven't also probably gone through all kinds of horror and Trauma that doesn't mean that it's okay because there are a lot of people that have gone through horror and Trauma and not abused or hurt others but people that are abusive are also often the victims of abuse themselves there's so many more layers to this than black and white good and bad we want to take accountability for our own behaviors and do better and be better better for all of us and yes after the ages of adulthood your behaviors are now your responsibility and sometimes we need to take a really hard look at who we are be able to actually go through concrete steps to make them better I have killed for less than this attitude you're giving me you're lucky you make me money now you're going to go get rid of her and then you're filming all night and that is Val blaming Angel for his behavior you did this you are lucky you're lucky you have me no one would treat you the way that I have you're lucky that I take care of you and that makes Angel especially when you're in this mind sphere of abuse it's almost like being in the Fishbowl you can't see things from the outside and remember if you hear something enough times you start to believe it you believe it without question and so for a lot of cases Angel probably believes that he deserves this that he has asked for this that he isn't worth anything more than this and that works really well for Val because then Val gets to control him and do with him as he wishes all right get your back on set and we are taking this from the top what makes you think you can treat him like that Charlie I love that the one time we see Charlie's rage the true amount of her power is in defense of Angel do you see that like I wish that we could play this out and see what she would have done to Val if angel hadn't stepped in but of course Angel being Angel wants to protect her and protect her from Val and the fastest most easy way is to get rid of her so that she will be safe because the last thing that angel would want would be for Charlie to hurt herself and because of him because for him he doesn't see himself as being worth risking her just stop Angel what are you talking Charlie leave and it's funny because for both Charlie and for Angel they really will risk their full power to protect the other to protect the people that they care about but not for themselves that's really one of the beautiful traits that they both have but I would want them to also apply that inward get the out of here and let me finish my work I I didn't mean to I'm and I think the beautiful part of that is that angel knows that Charlie would not leave if Angel didn't really mean it this is the only way that she would leave is is that is if he meant it and meant it really strongly and was angry at her for being there and so you can hear the hurt in Angel's voice to have to say this because he knows he's hurting Charlie but for him it's for the greater good because that gets her away from Val and keeps her safe because the last thing that angel would want would be for Val to treat her the way that he treats him it's hard to watch someone one in an abusive relationship because they may not leave they may not be ready and it's really traumatic to have to go through that and kind of watch on the sidelines and if you're seeing that or dealing with it you want to be able to be there emotionally support but you can't force someone to leave it becomes really really difficult they may choose to go back and so it causes a whole bunch of secondary trauma and often the way that we discuss it also so is why do you let them do this it has a lot of judgmental questions that makes the person feel bad about themselves and perhaps not share that much and so it's really complex and really difficult for everyone that's involved but it's okay also to know what your limits are you cannot carry anyone else over the Finish Line we each also have to be responsible for our own actions so it's a difficult place for Charlie to be what the actual are you doing here that put something in your drink I do this all the time you just let people drug you you all the time you think I ask for it I don't ask for any of this I didn't ask to be this way and for Angel often that's what happens is that because of all the negativity because we're taught that we're worth nothing we can often then express ourselves or treat ourselves as if we are not worth anything more we almost expect to be abused because that's how we see it's often a feeling of self-sabotage or self hatred that we end up putting out in many different ways and for Angel it's drug abuse and allowing people to treat him poorly but other people can do it through many different ways I just saw someone self-destructing it seems like you might need a Bart dinner to talk to so now you're going to act like you give a about me you think after how you treated me I'm going to open up to you and that's also true if we've been judgmental in the past or question someone often then we're not going to be the person that someone turns to if you're going to share something that you're embarrassed about or you feel bad about you're going to go to someone that you think will listen that will see you for who you are not the perhaps fake persona that you've put on to the world and that feeling of being judged especially when especially in therapy when you're going to be sharing all kinds of your hurts and wounds and mistakes in order to get better you want someone that you feel comfortable enough will be able to listen and listen without a judgmental eye cuz no one wants the feeling of being pied or embarrassed or judged and we all make mistakes and we all do the best with what we can with the tools that we have on hand maybe I treat you Betty if you were real and not some both version of yourself always pushing my boundaries nobody in that hotel cares who you are how famous how hot so you might as well just cut the ACT yeah sometimes we put out this perfect version of who we think we are because we often fear that if someone really knew who we were they wouldn't accept us they would would throw us away and I think though for angel angel would rather the fake persona is then the person gets thrown away than the person who they really are so Angel puts out this paper version of himself and then if you reject him or abandon him it's not him deep him that you're rejecting which would hurt so much more it's just this Fake Plastic Persona that even Angel pushes people away with tries to add shock value and I think that for Angel it's also testing people he's testing if he can trust people constantly by trying to push these boundaries at least then if they abandon him it's because of the boundary that he's pushed and then he can walk closer to people that he feels is really safe so it's almost like he's constantly thinking that he's on thin ice and that he'll be left at some point no matter what and he doesn't want to feel safe and comfortable because then that's when he's going to be dropped it's not an act it's who I need to be and this this is my Escape where I can forget about it all how much I hate everything how much he hates himself and how much he hates what happens inside of his head and people can escape with many things a hobby food a video game doesn't just have to be alcohol drugs love sex we often use many other things to escape the negative feelings that we have because they hurt so deeply a place where I can get high and not have to think about how much it hurts if I can ruin myself enough in the process I won't be his favorite toy anymore and that also happens a lot especially with sexual abuse that often people try to ruin themselves in different ways in the thought that if they looked less alluring that the person that is hurting them would leave them alone so they May gain weight they may change their appearance they may do something extreme to the way that they look in hopes that they won't be looked at as a sexual object it has nothing to do with sex it has everything to do with power and control it's all about you feeling weak and them feeling strong in the process and that's what they are feeding off of I was an Overlord once you know it was nice to have that power but when you're dealing in Souls while also being a gambler the stakes are pretty high sometimes I would say that it's not the time to be able to make it about yourself and tell your own story but in this case husk is doing it so that angel doesn't feel judged especially since even Angel said that why would I share with you after you disrespecting me so much this is husk sharing his vulnerability so that angel learns that he's not that different from him and we're both the same and we've both gone through mistakes and so I think that it was actually really beautiful of husk and I'll go through it in husk video on his own of him sharing and being vulnerable so that angel knows that we're the same and you can trust me too I'm here for you so I know what it's like to regret the choices made and know when you can't take it back if you like this video you can check out my other compilation videos such as Arcane Wednesday my new cyberpunk I also have the Jinx Saga Vox Machina season 1 the boys last of us all ad free sponsor free only on nebula and that's the whole purpose of nebula it's a place where you can get high quality video where video creators can post early post extended versions and post videos that will never work on YouTube creators like legal eagle Nando view movies Al shift act medlife crisis and so many more I also have a whole course on how to beat anxiety available on nebula classes and in this video I go through all of my tools and techniques in order to defeat deal with and cope with anxiety and you never have to go in to see anyone so you can check that out as well they also have exclusive Originals like how they adapted Lord of the Rings the time when and so many more and these are all ad free sponsor free so if you hate sponsors well then just sign up with my exclusive link below where you can get an annual plan of nebula for 40% off just $22.50 a month $30 a year and clicking on that link really does help support my channel so if you were thinking of supporting my Channel at the same time you might as well they're all Early Access all extended versions all kinds of courses original videos from amazing nebula creators and by clicking on that link you support me and all of those other nebula creators as well so thank you for your support and I'll see you in the next video so if you or someone you know is going through abuse it's much easier if you have someone to help you go through all of the steps there are many different support groups there are many different Outreach groups that are in your area that you can call to find out what kind of support and help you can get therapeutically financially and to be able to give yourself a stable home to be able to move to if you need it I'll leave some information if you need in the description it's a really difficult painful topic to go through because in the end hurt people hurt people and it's just so damaging to everyone that's involved so hopefully you found this video to be useful and gives you some different tools techniques and ways of thinking about what Angel and others are going through and so sometimes we don't recognize it hopefully you can take a look at this and see some of the red flags that may be around you to be able to get the heads up of not being in a relationship that is unhealthy or that can end up causing you emotional or physical damage because it's really important we want to keep the people around us that are the most helpful and caring for who we are as a person and we can stop the cycle of abuse we need to be able to do better and recognize it and hopefully recognize it at the beginnings instead of at the ends to it this damages and destroys families and lives so hopefully this video was helpful hopefully this gives you some hope and some tools and techniques to be able to get that you can let me know your thoughts in the comments below

Channel: Georgia Dow

Views: 534,218

Keywords: psychology, psychotherapy, therapy, self help, life coach, psychotherapist, self improvement

Id: 082oeDJJJuA

Length: 31min 29sec (1889 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 05 2024