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>>> KEEP IT TOGETHER, ICHABOD CRANE.
NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF IN THESE SPOOKY, SCARY WOODS.
WHAT -- WHAT IS THAT? IT WAS ONLY AN OWL.
CALM YOUR NERVES, ICHABOD. >> ICHABOD CRANE!
>> WHO'S THERE? SHOW YOURSELF!
>> ICHABOD CRANE! HOW DARE YOU TRESPASS IN THESE
WOODS ON ALL HALLOWS EVE? >> MY GOD, IT'S THE HEADLESS
HORSEMAN. THE ONE I'VE HEARD TELL OF IN
GHASTLY STORIES. >> THE VERY SAME.
>> AND IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY. YOU'RE CURSED TO CARRY AROUND
YOUR OWN SEVERED HEAD. >> FOR ETERNITY.
>> SO SINCE YOU'RE HOLDING A DETACHED BUT ANIMATED HEAD -- DO
YOU EVER USE IT, LIKE, TO -- YOU KNOW --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> TO WHAT?
>> DO -- DO YOU USE IT LIKE, YOU KNOW -- ON YOURSELF?
>> WHAT? WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT? >> OKAY, LOOK.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO IT TO MYSELF --
[ LAUGHTER ] WITH MY REGULAR ATTACHED HEAD.
I TRIED YOGA AND STRETCHING. I EVEN HAD THE TOWN DOCTOR
REMOVE TWO OF MY RIBS. >> OH, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
>> OH, SAYS THE MAN HOLDING A SEVERED HEAD.
DON'T TELL ME IT NEVER CROSSED YOUR MIND.
LOOK HOW YOU'RE HOLDING THE HEAD, THE MOUTH IS ALREADY LIKE
RIGHT THERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> HONESTLY, I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
>> WELL, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FIRST THOUGHT.
RIGHT AFTER, OH GOD, THEY CHOPPED OFF MY HEAD.
I WOULD HAVE PIVOTED TO, HUH, POSSIBLE SILVER LINING
HERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAY, WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A SEVERED HEAD,
YOU PUT THE MOUTH ON YOUR DING --
>> ENOUGH! YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO
THINK SUCH FOUL THOUGHTS AFTER I SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!
>> ICHABOD, I CAME AS SOON AS I COULD.
>> HOW BRAVE, YOU CAME TO RESCUE ME, WILLIAM?
>> NO, I WANTED TO ASK THE HORSEMAN SOME QUESTIONS.
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU EVER JUST ROLL IT INTO THE
LADIES' ROOM? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> EXCUSE ME? >> THE HEAD.
YOU EVER ROLL IT UNDER THE STALLS IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM
AND BE LIKE, MENTAL PICTURE! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> NO, OF COURSE NOT. I DON'T EVEN GO INDOORS.
>> OKAY. THEN YOU EVER USE THE HEAD TO --
YOU KNOW. ON YOURSELF?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HE ALREADY ASKED THAT.
>> ASKED THAT, YEAH. >> GREAT MINDS.
>> YEAH. FOLLOW-UP TO MY THING.
DO YOU, LIKE MOST MEN IN OUR ERA, HAVE FALSE, REMOVABLE
TEETH? BECAUSE THAT COULD BE REALLY
GOOD IF YOU GOT -- >> I HAVE REAL TEETH.
>> OH, BUMMER. BUT COULD YOU -- COULD YOU TILT
THE HEAD SO YOU COULD MAKE EYE CONTACT, LIKE IF SOMEONE WANTED
THAT, I MEAN? >> NO!
I MEAN -- YES. BUT WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THAT?
>> PERSONAL CONNECTION? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> POWER, FOR ME. >> HEY, WHEN YOU -- WHEN YOUR
THROAT GOT CUT, DID IT HAPPEN TO SEVER THE GAG REFLEX?
>> OKAY, NOW I'M SENDING YOU BOTH TO HELL.
>> WHY SEND US TO HELL WHEN YOU COULD SEND YOURSELF TO HEAVEN?
>> ICHABOD, WILLIAM! DID YOU ASK THE HORSEMAN
ABOUT -- >> YES, YES, WE'RE WAY INTO IT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> THEN I HAVE A QUESTION THAT'S
GOING TO SEEM WEIRD ON SEVERAL LEVELS. BUT IS THE HEAD DISHWASHER SAFE?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
>> I'M JUST CURIOUS ABOUT CLEANUP.
>> NO, NO, I GET THAT. SO -- ALL RIGHT, IT'S AN OPEN
NECK, RIGHT? SO HE COULD PROBABLY JUST DRINK
A GLASS OF WATER AFTER YOU DO IT, YOU KNOW, AND IT ALL FALLS
OUT. >> YEAH, YOU COULD PROBABLY GO
IN THROUGH THE NECK, TOO. THAT'S A WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE.
>> ALL YOUR MINDS ARE FILTHY! WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS TOWN?
>> IT'S FULL OF PURITANS, THE MOST SEXUALLY REPRESSED PEOPLE
IN HISTORY. >> SORRY I'M OBSESSED WITH SEX.
MY WIFE, GOODY CHASTITY, ISN'T EXACTLY FULFILLING MY NEEDS.
>> ALL RIGHT, I'M THROUGH WITH THIS CONVERSATION.
ICHABOD CRANE! YOU SHALL SUFFER MY WRATH!
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO!
>> GET IT! >> HEY, ALL RIGHT!
LET'S JUST SAY THINGS ARE COMING TO -- A HEAD. HAPPY ALL HALLOWS EVE FROM
EVERYONE AT NBC. MAINLY LORNE, WHO WROTE THIS
SKETCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Did the Headless Horseman just get gang raped?
This one was definitely cowritten by Mulaney and Davidson.
I just fucking lose it at the way he says dingus. One of the best skits of the night
Mirror.
But, it wasn't that funny
For me this was the only laugh of the show.
I mean, I would. But I hear it feels more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.
I thought Ichabod Crane was supposed to be the name of the headless horseman.