>>> YOU'RE WATCHING CINEMA
CLASSICS ON TBS. >> GOOD HALLOWS EVE TO YOU.
I AM REESE DE'WHAT. AND DE'WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?
I'M JUST KIDDING. TONIGHT, WE TAKE A LOOK AT
ALFRED HITCHCOCK'S 1963 HORROR THRILLER "THE BIRDS."
STARRING TIPPI HEDREN AS A WOMAN MENACED BY BIRDS FOR REASONS
THAT ARE NEVER EXPLAINED. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHY DID HITCHCOCK NOT CLARIFY WHAT THE BIRDS WERE UP TO?
I DO NOT KNOW. I AM A BAD GUESSER.
JUST ASK MY WIFE, WHO ASKED ME TO GUESS WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO
BE FOR HALLOWEEN AND I SAID, I DON'T KNOW, DRUNK ON RUM?
[ LAUGHTER ] WORST DOUBLE BUBBLE BATH EVER!
[ LAUGHTER ] LET'S LOOK NOW AT A RECENTLY
UNEARTHED ALTERNATE SCENE IN WHICH HITCHCOCK TRIES TO REALLY
SPELL OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH "THE BIRDS," HERE WE GO.
♪♪ >> OH, OH!
AH, AH! OPERATOR, OPERATOR, GET ME THE
SHERIFF. >> THIS IS SHERIFF MCCAFFERTY,
WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? >> BIRDS!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I'M SORRY, DID YOU JUST
GENTLY WHISPER THE WORD "BIRDS"? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> IT MEANS BIRDS. THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL
EVERYBODY. YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING,
PLEASE. THESE BIRDS!
>> HAS ANYONE SAID, SHOO, GET OUT OF HERE, BIRDS, WITH A HAND
WAVE? >> NO, NO, THERE'S TOO MANY OF
THEM AND THEY'RE TOO MEAN. >> OKAY, SO THESE ARE BIRDS OF
PREY, LIKE A HAWK OR AN EAGLE? >> NO.
NO, THEY'RE SEAGULLS. YOU KNOW, THE LITTLE GUYS THAT
EAT FRENCH FRIES AT THE BEACH. OH, NO, LOOK!
THEY SET FIRE TO THE GAS STATION!
>> HOW? >> SIR, I CANNOT EXPLAIN.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU JUST SAID A BIRD SET FIRE TO
A GAS STATION, SO YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> MAYBE THE BIRDS HAD A
CIGARETTE FROM SOMEONE AND THEN SLAPPED IT INTO THE GAS TANK, I
DON'T KNOW. >> NOW WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> THE BIRDS, THEY JUST BIRDED A MAN TO DEATH.
[ LAUGHTER ] OH, NO!
ONE OF THE BIRDS FOUND A GLASS CUTTER!
NO, PLEASE! IT'S GOT A KNIFE!
PLEASE DO SOMETHING, THE BIRDS WEREN'T RAISED RIGHT!
>> MA'AM, YOU'RE HYSTERICAL. THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS
HAPPENING ALL BECAUSE OF A BUNCH OF NO-GOOD -- I HAVE TO CALL YOU
BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WOW. I GOT TO TELL YOU, THOUGH.
TEST AUDIENCES POSITIVELY HATED THIS NEW VERSION.
ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY WIFE HATES VACUUMING.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY, THAT IS NOT FAIR.
SHE IS A GOOD WOMAN. STILL WORRIED AUDIENCES WOULD
NOT BE SCARED ENOUGH BY BIRDS, HITCHCOCK FILMED YET ANOTHER
VERSION OF THE SCENE, ADDING EVEN MORE SOURCES OF POTENTIAL
TERROR. LET'S WATCH.
>> THANK GOD YOU CAME! THESE ARE THE BIRDS THAT ARE
DOING IT ALL! >> I'M VERY SORRY I DOUBTED YOU,
THE BIRDS ARE TRYING TO BE VERY MEAN.
>> WHAT'S THAT ONE DOING? IT'S RECORDING US!
>> OH, AN EGG! IT'S TRYING TO BE NICE SO WE
HAVE BREAKFAST. >> NO, THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE
MORE BIRDS. >> I'M GOING TO START SHOOTING
MY GUN OFF IN HERE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
>> OH, YOU DUMMY, YOU'LL KILL US!
AND IT'S TOO LATE. THE BIRDS HAVE PICKED UP TURTLES
TO USE. >> MY GOD THEY'RE PUTTING THE
TURTLES ON PEOPLE! >> WE'RE ON THE PHONE, WE'RE ON
THE PHONE! >> OH, NO, THE TURTLES HAVE NOW
PICKED UP SANDWICHES! >> OH, I GET IT.
THE TURTLES ARE BULLYING THE SANDWICHES LIKE THE BIRDS
BULLIED THEM. IT'S A CYCLE.
>> WELL, NOW, THE TURTLES HAVE LEARNED TO FLY WITHOUT THE HELP
OF THE BIRDS. >> AS HAVE THE SANDWICHES.
>> IS THIS THE LESSON ABOUT MAN'S LACK OF RESPECT FOR
NATURE? >> I DON'T KNOW.
DAMMIT, I DON'T KNOW, BUT KISS ME.
>> WHAT? NO!
>> GAH! >> ULTIMATELY, THIS ULTIMATE
SCENE WAS SCRAPPED AFTER AN ASSISTANT EDITOR POINTED OUT
THAT IT ADDED OVER A DAY TO THE FILM'S TOTAL RUNNING TIME.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE! FOR CINE CLASSICS, I HAVE BEEN
REESE DE'WHAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
