Hatshepsut: The Forgotten Pharaoh • Puppet History

[Music] oh welcome one and all the puppet history online university today we'll be taking an ever whining look at yet another chapter in the heavy heavy book we call history while our guests ruthlessly compete for the coveted title of history master i am obviously your beloved host the professor ryan bergara are you ready i'm good i just finished my little snack and i'm ready to go oh good snacks are important ryan graham our special guest are you ready i am i'm ready to be here and excited to be in an online course then let's crack in i've just realized there's a bit of a hiccup we've got two ryans today just to keep things clear i think ryan brigar we're gonna actually have to demote you to just bergara you call me rb if you want to oh barbies yeah arby's oh let's just call you arby's no don't call me arby's beef man i'm fine with beef man literally anything but arby's man behold ancient egypt today a popular tourist destination due in part to its fancy cemetery but in the millennium before the common era it was one of the most vibrant and powerful empires on earth atop this kingdom set the pharaohs the rulers of the nile and its surrounding environs today we're talking about one that i'm willing to bet neither of our contestants has ever heard of and that until about 100 years ago no one in the world had really heard of hot chef yep nip never heard of that no not ringing a bell say that one more time hot chips but first let's talk about the pharaohs now pharaohs were kings sure but also so much more they control the military most of the land in egypt and were intermediaries with the gods like with the king we're also the pope it's a lot of power no one man should have all that power ooh a bar come on kanye we love it beef man got the bars yes wow kanye might consider himself a modern-day pharaoh he's actually referred to himself as a pharaoh in one of his songs in monster i believe he calls himself a pharaoh he does uh right after a very yeah we all remember that with this divine status came in obsession with building things the more things you built the more surface area you had in which to etch your lineage and triumphs as a ruler this was especially important for the ancient egyptians as one of their beliefs about eternal life after death was that it was contingent on some form of memory of them existing in the real world all the elaborate tombs statues and temples that still exist today were built to ensure the spirits of the pharaohs lived forever preserved in the memories of the living no it's kind of like cocoa it's like if like if the last person forgets you then you just disappear forever which is like kind of sad but also kind of beautiful it is like yeah our first question now for a history point each name as many of the approximately 170 pharaohs to rule egypt as you can oh god okay well yeah this is i i was fully expecting multiple choice i didn't know you two yeah i'm starting to answer for you were women allowed to be pharaohs [Applause] i don't know okay well i'm gonna go with my guess uh beef man why don't you go first uh king tut on common is in smaller ones and then uh and then i put cleopatra that's two that's that's two points for you that's true yes twitter common was his full name i would have accepted just tut frankly all i know is king tut and then i put nefertiti because i forgot about cleopatra and now i'm like never td was a goddess not a pharaoh and then i also put hotep and i put kanye west and i put carl probably that does sound like a pharaoh uh nefertiti was actually the wife of a pharaoh so she was a queen and uh frankly i think that's worth a point uh let's see for sure and hotep hotep was i believe a pharaoh right you believe you know it's a common element of their names there's imhotep and amen hotep so you know what i'll give you a point for that shocker now if you wanted to join the ranks of those 170 mostly forgotten god kings of egypt the easiest way was to be born the eldest son of the current pharaoh and his queen even then though it wasn't always simple pharaohs were polygamous but only one wife was considered the queen apart from this queen pharaohs would keep a harem who weren't technically royals but instead considered lowborns if the royal queen hadn't given birth to a son by the time egypt needed a fresh pharaoh a son from one of the women in the harem could be chosen air now you can see how this system could make succession a real mess and that was the case with our pharaoh de jour hatchet did they live in the the palaces with them because it was a harem so like look if i'm a pharaoh and i've got my wife and then i've got my wife yeah borat thanks ryan rotten jelly bean come on man yeah i guess if i have a bunch of wives i guess i'm you know putting them up in some nice apartments giving them some bowls of grapes cause like i've heard of like bathing in milk and honey which sounds kind of fun so like maybe they took like nice baths and lotions and stuff apparently that's something jlo does does she bathes and milk at least for sure i don't know about the honey but uh yeah i i read that or no i watched that on one of those weird vanity fair things like you watched j-lo bathe and milk and honey hot shepherd's father was a man named footmosa the first he was a charismatic and by all accounts effective leader hopping into power around 1500 bce a military man who expanded egypt's kingdom by force there's one story of moses sailing home to thebes with the body of a vanquished foe dangling from his ship as a warning to all who had the foolish notion to challenge the pharaoh brutal when i was in college i had a spider infestation in my house with my roommates so what i did was i captured one of the spiders and i did burn it alive under a slurpee cup and left the corpse in the middle of the garage as an example guess what no more spiders spiders uh beautiful little bugs leave them alone what do you have like pet spiders or something i mean yeah kind of kind of raise them like chickens you know i keep them in my backyard you know i do have a pretty steady diet of jelly beans but i also have to get some protein in there so usually when they're good and fat i uh oh and though their spirits may live forever the physical body of every pharaoh did spoiler alert eventually fail when that time came first that moza the first even though hot chef soot was the child of moza and his queen amos feridum passed not to hot chef soot but to the sickly foot moser ii whose mother was a non-royal secondary wife another open-ended question why was that moses ii made pharaoh instead of hatchet soot when that moza the first died uh are we allowed hints let me think about that a hint a hint no i'm just gonna you're just gonna have to take your shot love it shoot your shot ryan graham i believe in you thank you uh beef man what do you got uh i put dude had dragons and a bangin bod dude had dragons a thing that doesn't exist and a bang bang and pod thing that definitely exists ryan what do you got i said it was because the first wife died like before she could give him a son so that's how he got it well unfortunately you're both incorrect and not even close uh if i were gonna give a history point i guess i would give it to ryan because he's at least trucking in the realm of reality so i'm gonna give a history point to ryan graham congratulations thank you um but the answer is that hot shepherd was a woman that's right i buried the lead in a pyramid of factoids but we're talking about a female pharaoh wow okay that's love to hear it now just because hot chep soot was passed over didn't mean she was out of the picture in a pretty gross custom royal children often married their siblings and when she was around 12 years old hatshep's soot was wed to her half brother moza ii the new pharaoh hot a bit old-fashioned you know the best way to uh ensure some nepotism is by a little incest i guess that's true thanks for the words of wisdom there beast man it's pretty gross hatch episode had only given birth to a daughter by the time her husband died so the throne once again passed to a son born not by a queen but by a member of the mose of the second's harem the kingdom of egypt was to be ruled by the appropriately named footmosa iii so she now is she have to like move out like because her husband died does she have to go away well there's a bit of a problem here and let me elaborate for you there's one problem in declaring foot moser the third king of all of egypt he was a baby he was a little baby boy today thanks to the film boss baby we know that babies can be smart and effective leaders but egypt needed someone to keep the throne warm while futmoza iii learned the skills needed to lead such as how to command an army and how to not make boom boom in his diapees because thetmos moses iii's mother was a lowborn hatshepsut who had been part of the royal family since birth took over as queen region basically she had the best resume for the job she's like a tim if you like she's filling in exactly or a seat filler at the oscars yes exactly now for the first few years everything went according to plan but moses iii learned and grew while hot chef soot took care of the busy work that entails leading all of ancient egypt some time before thought moses turned eight however hotshepsut decided to put in for a promotion enough with the queen regent stuff she wished to be cold pharaoh now what did futmoza and the egyptian elite do when hot chef said she wanted to be co-king of egypt ay they said okay b they tried to kill her with an asp or c they exiled her from egypt by sending her floating down the nile oh okay all great answers beef man which guy i got b asps very dangerous and ryan i also put b killer with an ass because you know i feel like they wouldn't just go okay and i feel like exiles too she could come back it's too tempting we also see a lot of like snakes being used to assassinate people and like films from this time which i imagine must draw on some kind of historical fact uh i guess you would call this asp assassination ask ask where is my truck i got a little well let's find out what happened didn't even recognize that i quoted a very famous line from raiders of the lost dark unbelievable ah ah yes another day for me hot chops up hot chips ruling egypt while my sort of stepkid sword and nephew grows up to replace me actually that sounds kind of like [ __ ] to me you know what i want to be co-king you these are the elites over here uh you mean like you want to marry your sort of step kid to become queen again no i just i think i should be like also pharaoh it's me foot moser the third you know i may be just where the [ __ ] am i go okay great i may be just a little boy but i'm also pharaoh what would that make me if you're co pharaoh uh well i guess it would make you also pharaoh but i'd take care of the you know the governance okay yeah that works yes that sounds good to us the elites it's a lot of puppets up here okay bye [Applause] huh good for them i guess i mean it seems like the decision was made out of laziness but either way still progressive yeah i know i think it's progressive why i feel who i wouldn't expect them to just kill her i love to say i died that's exactly what i expected hey i'm back wow so no points for anybody but yeah kind of chill right they're just like all right cool go for it man now to hot shepherd's credit the fact that everyone was cool with this was no mere coincidence as regent she had hand-picked talented outsiders to fill the key positions in the regime instead of choosing people from elite families that meant if those officials wanted to keep their positions they needed hot chef soot in the throne so look she's got a little bit of leverage here so it's less like them being progressive and more of like i want to keep my job so yeah so i guess if we're looking for the noble angle it's that uh she actually did hand pick talented people for the roles and didn't just fill it up with uh you know the usual nepotism i was going to say it's almost kind of like if like a president picked a really shitty vice president so that you would not want to assassinate said president so being the daughter of a pharaoh the widow of another pharaoh and stepmom to yet another pharaoh all of whom had the same name by the way not to mention being the only person on the planet with egypt leading experience didn't mean keeping the title of cofero was a given how did hotshepsut go about earning the loyalty of her people a she launched a public infrastructure project b she enslaved them or c she sent the army to conquer modern day eritrea yeah yep these don't sound optimistic i would like to think that it was like ah i'm gonna do a public good but i'm just like the way history works it's very rare that people are like let's do a good thing to stay in power i i pick war i put slavery beef man's going with slavery ryan you're going with war it was either that at war right right well um i'm happy to tell you you both don't receive any history points because the answer is hey wow yeah who knew egypt was so progressive wow what a lovely space well well now okay i mean they did have plenty of uh slave labor going on and they did those stones were very heavy that's true yes infrastructure in ancient egypt was a little different than the roads and bridges we think of today for instance hatshepsut built some of the largest egyptian obelisks ever constructed at 100 feet tall now you modern day city slickers may not think 100 feet is that impressive heck the washington monument is a 555-foot tall obelisk unlike the washington monument however ancient egyptian obelisks were made from one solid piece of stone that's as if a ten-story apartment building were carved out of a solid piece of rock and then lifted into place how the [ __ ] did they do that yeah what you know i mean look if i know anything about the beef man he would argue that uh aliens baby ancient aliens did it because certainly people in ancient times weren't smart enough to build pulleys right i i don't know i'm with the beef man on this one i feel i don't think it's a matter of smarts i want to see it be done i want to see i'd love to see it look at that in addition to obelisks hotshepsut built one of the most magnificent structures in all the ancient world an immense temple at der el buhari pools and gardens with aromatic trees populated the temple's lower levels and a hundred enormous statues of hot shepherd as a sphinx stood guard the walls were covered with inscriptions detailing hot chipsets triumphs as a ruler apart from the building spree hachipset aimed to establish legitimacy by building the only kind of loyalty that really matters brand loyalty baby whoa what did hotchapso do to establish her brand a she changed her name b she changed her gender or c she mythologized the story of her birth all right beef man what you got it's a c show me the birth certificate jesus dude such a stupid part of our history ryan i put b gender only because we've been on a very progressive wave and i would love for them to be like yeah the first transgender pharaoh well let's find out i hope you're right i hope you're right too it'll be very cool i'm kovaro which is great but i need a total rebranding that's why i hired you famous madman a don draper a reference that makes total sense he has a suit too look we're just having fun here you guys got it yeah anyway now here's what i'm thinking uh hot chips but we'll give you a new haircut okay i like that but how about instead we really hammer home to everyone that as the daughter of a pharaoh my mom got knocked up by the god amon who had simply taken on the appearance of my dad i mean i suppose we could do that but hot chop should also that's not my name anymore hot chocolate what does that even mean my name's ma'at [Music] well that's that's nonsense that won't that just confuse also from now on i'm to be depicted as a man ma atkari you have a vision wait what so it's d all of the above a trick question wow crazy all of the above we haven't had one of those before huh who knew that this was even a possibility though yeah i feel like this guy doesn't like to play by the rules i'm a bit of a bad boy you know that's what you want to call it yeah i'm a bad boy yeah so unfortunately no history points for either of you yeah i'm sorry it's all right it's hard i appreciate the hustle but uh yeah a bit of a curveball there hot shep soot went through quite the transformation and while ma khare is the name most frequently found on her monuments for our story i'm going to keep calling her by the name she had when we first met not that i never met her personally before continuing let me explain the gender thing real quick though in early statues and carvings hot chest was portrayed as a demure woman eventually she started being portrayed as a bear-chested flail and crook-wielding man now this was not an attempt to trick people into thinking she was actually a man egyptian art depicted things not necessarily as they really were but a bit more metaphorical written references to hatchet still made it clear she was a woman just one depicted as a man wearing a fake beard though the full reason for this change remains a mystery theories range from attempting to legitimize her rule to taking some of the ancient sting out of the fact that the co-pharaoh thought moses iii was sharing the title with was a woman so a lot of lot to chew on there what is he doing at this time her co-feral he's a little he's a little baby he's still a baby got it guys probably probably uh sucking on his thumb maybe uh serving up turds like hotcakes yeah chasing a bumblebee i don't know things kids do things baby yeah things kids chasing a bumblebee yeah you never chased a bumblebee as a little boy beef no no so you're you're raising spiders for killing yeah you're chasing around bumblebees terrorizing them what else are you doing in your free time just chilling perfect segway here now while hot chef soot was gradually transforming her brand footmosa iii was also gradually transforming into a man who would be capable of running egypt by himself thank you very much while hot shep soot did a great job of making sure no strong men with militia and a bone to pick usurped the throne the biggest threat to her job was in reality her co-worker slash stepson slash nephew so yeah you know she's got to watch out i know he's a little boy but uh little boys can be dangerous i feel like kids are the scariest creatures on the planet no that's true they're full of germs and then they also can be murderous and i'm like no kids are even if they're not full of germs or murdering kids are just plain creepy so luckily by most indications the two had a great relationship while hot chef was in charge it would have been relatively easy for an accidental death to befall the boy king instead she made sure he would be well prepared for life as a pharaoh having him educated as a scribe a priest and a soldier he excelled at this latter vocation and was eventually promoted to commander in chief of the army wow so she's like also a great person she's like very forward thinking she's uh making sure he's a well-rounded individual it's pretty cool oh no you sound so sad yeah why are you is that i just the way history works i feel like she's doing all these amazing things to him and he's gonna usurp her like i feel like once he actually becomes that's why i got sad because i'm like history's sad history you're probably right he's gonna try to be a dick all of this was happening during a time of relative prosperity and peace for egypt which every leader throughout history will tell you means one big problem what to do with the army if hatchet disbanded the army egypt would be defenseless if she sent them to war and they lost she would be blamed and usurped if she sent them to war and they won well then bozo iii would get all the credit and perhaps diminish his ant-man's power so what did hot chaps uh do with her army a she sent them on a military campaign down the nile while ordering moza the third to stay home b she sent them on a trade expedition or c she put them to work building a pyramid that seems to be the most uh logical and she seems to be fairly logical interesting interesting and ryan uh c pyramid baby i feel like yeah we love a good pyramid and i feel like uh she wants to keep then an eye because if you send them away something could happen but if they're in town and in work you see them and you know that they're busy solid logic there but unfortunately points to beef man yes she sent them on a trade expedition so hot chef soot the great ruler that she was turning out to be turned this potential problem into a benefit she sent the army on a trading expedition to the mysterious and lost land of punt where no egyptian had been for over 500 years now the trade route that opened up was a lucrative one bringing ivory incense and rare animal skins to egypt ancient records boast quote never was brought the like of this for any king who has been since the beginning these riches garnered further support from the elites who liked fancy things consumerism isn't just a modern scourge folks which reminds me click below to buy some of the finest merch in all of history wow yeah look i'm a shill for my own my own [ __ ] guys i'm on a t-shirt i'm happy about it sue me brutal brutal in 1457 bce after an uncommonly peaceful and prosperous 22-year reign hot chipset died finally giving footbozo the third full control over egypt giving him time to learn the royal ropes was well worth it as he too had a successful reign using his skills as a military leader but moses iii expanded egypt's control by force and resulted in egypt's status as one of the wealthiest nations on earth wow see what happens when you teach the children as for hot chef thanks to her many infrastructure projects and the profitable trading partnership with punt it seemed the female pharaoh's name should have been remembered forever except until the early 1900s no one really knew she existed why had no one heard of hot chip soot a hot chapstoot's hieroglyphic name had been mistranslated to mean period of no ruler b her stepson destroyed almost all records of her existence or c archaeologists just weren't very good until the 1900s uh hmm beef man suck it to me i think it's b dude's gonna dude dude's gonna dude okay uh ryan i put b because history is sad yeah yeah come common refrain on this show but an accurate one points to both of you wow oh i knew he was gonna be a dick man yeah you called it a while ago man you really did and it's a little heartbreaking towards the end of mozart iii's reign around 20 years after the death of his predecessor aunt hot shep soot's many monuments statues and carvings were all destroyed replaced with the likeness of her husband the clothes of the second remember in ancient egypt the consequence of this wasn't simply a destroyed legacy but literally cursing her to damnation with no statues or recordings of hot chef soot she could no longer enjoy the eternal life those depictions were meant to promise her damned her to hell [Music] i didn't even think about that that was at the top of this oh my god it's wow that is so messed up after all she did for him right she could have easily gotten rid of him when he was a baby you know how easy it is to kill a baby you drop a you drop a snake in the crib there were snakes everywhere all you have to do is like leave the room in a snake will end up in that crib now the reason why footmost of the third tried to erase hatshepsut's name from history is a mystery that still eludes historians today jealousy perhaps or an effort to tidy up the story of his lineage maybe no matter the reason a shitty thing to do because of him record of hatshepsut's accomplishments had effectively been erased and it would take hundreds of years of archaeology to rediscover it so he must be holding a grudge it seems like something maybe i mean sometimes grudges could be long growing that's true i guess i could have woken up one day and been like you know what [ __ ] that actually there's also the possibility that you know on day one he's like r.i.p hatshepsut loved that lady but i'm pharaoh now hooray and you know he goes to meet with his advisors and they're like hey nice to have you here by the way hot shop soot boy oh boy she kicked ass uh well you really better live up to this and then day by day it's hot chefs hot chefs that 20 years of that adds up and he's like yo what i'm tired of here to this lady let's wipe her from the books that's true he's sitting in a therapist office 20 years later and finally realizes the source of his pain let's jump ahead some 3 300 years whoa all the way to 1903 when famed british archaeologist howard carter would unearth a non-royal tomb today known as kv-60 inside were some mummified geese the mummy of hot shepherd's royal wet nurse and the mummy of another unidentified female mystery skip ahead another 100 or so years to 2007 and with the help of modern technology a ct scan would confirm that the unidentified mummy was likely hot cheps after all wow now with hot chef soot's body finally accounted for tests were conducted in an attempt to determine the cause of her death so what is the leading theory for how hot shep soot died a she was mauled by a tiger which presumably came from her training partners in punt she had cancer as a result of her skin cream or c drinking poisoned wine at a banquet held in her honor i don't know i don't either beef beef boy i'm sorry that's banned to you i'm beef heart you're not born sorry beef boy beef man give it a what do you got bee cancer no no and ryan i put a our tiger queen i would just because i would like for her to have god how horrible it's a pretty it's a pretty metal way to go yeah no it's not this sounds awful i guess cancer is awful too yeah yeah well point to the beef boy uh she did have cancer as a result of her skin cream ct scans done in 2007 showed hot chipset at the time of her death to have been in very poor health according to evidence found in her pelvic region and spine she suffered from cancer found amongst her possessions was a vial that contained skin cream which made sense as there were known cases of skin disease in hatshepsut's family in that skin cream however pharmacologists discovered benzoa pyrene one of the most carcinogenic substances on earth wow so just rubbing skin cancer on herself yeah yeah though we have a better understanding of how she died the mystery as to why her legacy was erased remains not fully understood uh still her body was found and we know about her now and she did a pretty great job as pharaoh with memory of her reign restored her spirit can continue to live on for eternity that concludes our history lesson i'm going to go tally the scores to see who receives the coveted cup and title of history master while i do that please enjoy the special performance from one of the mummified geese found in hot chapssot's tomb the the puppet history of 2020 that multiple choice section is going to be [ __ ] brutal and surely murder hornets couldn't be the answer and it's like but yes it is it's just awful oh wow oh she's a mummy yeah my yeah i'm a mummified goose looks like an ostrich no no i'm a goose very clearly a goose looks like an ostrich hot chips she was coveted as hell they tried to wipe her from the books as far as we can tell a pharaoh you should know she really held it down oh just because she kept the peace she don't deserve right now oh you haven't heard she stepped up bad world egypt addressed the moses the third a queen a king depends which glitch you've seen but by and large he sure took charge and really nailed the thing a funny claim to fame her husband dad and kinda son they all had the same name a pharaoh who narrowly missed her chance to rule but luckily that came to me was tied up with preschool if you're still asking who to show the pharaoh's greatness can't be measured by there too a queen some previously entered i should know me and my bro were mummified with her committed memory because you see regrettably she happens to be dead and we can help her out enormously particularly spiritually if every now and thenish we could toss a kindly thought to she who merely became history not via egyptology but lost for all eternity arrest though it's a mystery why anyone could possibly resort to such foul treachery and so it's with respect that we remember on occasion she kicked out all right every time i when those songs come up i feel like i'm like the living manifestation of that jay-z gift it's like kind of like heading out around like we just had not [Laughter] hell of a goose definitely a goose not an ostrich as far as i can tell uh let's see how we did whoa knock me down with a mummified goose feather ryan graham his hour history aaron he has so rightfully earned the coveted cup beef boy thanks for trying ryan go claim your reward okay oh okay all right recording a video once i can get my hands on that little blue ball sack of a head that you have yes no more coming off there's even jelly beans in this try knowing more oh my god you've earned it and we're so thankful for you coming by here today thank you ryan graham for playing i want to thank everybody for watching we'll see you next week on another exciting episode of puppet history goodbye [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] foreign

Channel: Watcher

Views: 1,490,849

Rating: 4.9799495 out of 5

Keywords: puppet history, puppet history songs, musical history, musical, shane madej, ryan bergara, ryan bergara and shane madej, shane madej and ryan bergara, watcher, ruining history, ruining history buzzfeed, history, destruction of pompeii, trivia, quiz, game show, animated history, animation, educational, puppets, puppet show, funny, Ryann Graham, Egypt, Pharaoh, Hatshepsut

Id: Rm9t94mpkjo

Length: 31min 33sec (1893 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 28 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Someone needs to draw the professor farming away in his spider coop

[u/gamechangerjosie]

this song slapped, top 5 for sure imo but I don't think anything will ever top that big pile of diamonds

[u/wannabeasailor]

When I watched the episode it was at #15 on trending. How high did it climb?