Half in the Bag Episode 52: Iron Man 3 and Pain & Gain

half in the bag [ __ ] all this stupid popcorn [ __ ] thank you for your patience yes I'm so sorry you're on hold for that long but uh yeah we we do Betamax absolutely um do you happen to know the model number I don't one second sir I I can't tell you the model number you would have to know that it should be on the bottom okay do you see it great um and yeah just give me your last name here Johnson okay can you can you hold on just one second like what are you doing can't you see we're busy we're busy what yeah look at all these people can I call you back I'll call you right back thank you very much hi how can I help you yeah I have a Magnavox that I need fixed I think it's like an 82 what seems to be the problem well the pictures all fuzzy did you try adjusting the tracking what's tracking never mind just uh fill out this form here just your name and address and phone number and we'll take a look at it for you I don't support the big pen industry Jay are all these people going to a Halloween party or something no Mike they're hipsters the [ __ ] is a hipster it's a person that dresses like a circus clown hmm well the more important question is why are all these circus clowns getting VCRs fixed I don't know I guess it's ironic to watch movies on VHS now it's good news for us though cuz look business is booming I got my oxymorphone I got my gaba prepped in 50 milligrams percocet my hydrocodone hurtis ah God niblets Tom my precious Night Court tape ah so many wasted years of my life wonder how those guys are doing on my VCR you know what I demand results I'm gonna find that VCR repair shop I'm gonna pay those two a visit brassieres next please oh sorry we're on our lunch break you could have a seat in the waiting area Thanks Oh Ryan this is going great yeah what do you wanna do on our lunch break hmm seen any good movies lately yeah and I saw pain and game I'm Tony Stark I build neat stuff I got a great girl and occasionally save the world so why can't I sleep you elected me on a single platform I will defend this country at all costs Ironman 3 is the first post Avengers film in the Marvel films universe it stars Robert Downey jr. as an overpaid actor inside of a tin can suit who fights evil doers as the superhero Iron Man 3 his enemies this time include Guy Pearce as an old acquaintance with a grudge Ben Kingsley is an old man with a beard and Shane black is an old-school Hollywood screenwriter with an over-reliance on witty dialogue Jay what did you think of the third Iron Man film I liked the movie a lot I think this is a movie for everyone it's a great movie if you enjoy sort of fun light-hearted popcorn pop entertainment and it's also a movie that you can pick apart and find numerous plot holes in if you're a joyless [ __ ] who has nothing better to do with their time are you done talking was it hard to talk with Roland Emmerich's [ __ ] in your mouth uh no this movie is I would say this is the best written of the Iron Man movies as far as structure goes and you can find plot holes or whatever but in a movie like this it's not that big of a deal because it's it's light-hearted it's more about the characters and the humor yeah I would say it's a better written movie than the first two certainly the second one the second Hey how long have you been here like about two and a half hours Wow yeah yeah yeah I know you're like three hours yeah you're in front of me oh yeah like the first two-thirds of it a lot and then sort of falls apart at the ends as the problem that we've talked about where they don't know how to end their movie so there's just a dumb fight the whole movie the first movie the whole thing is he's very slowly and carefully trying to figure out this technology and figuring out how to use it appropriately and then overnight Jeff Bridges just makes a giant Iron Man suit and fights him I agree with you Jay I really enjoyed this movie as well I was a lot of fun and while there were some plot things that made me scratch my head it's a movie where you can't get overly wrapped up in the plot holes because it's meant to be light-hearted it's a little tongue-in-cheek and kind of pokes fun at itself a lot especially a lot of the kind of cliches that appear in movies like this and it was witty witty yeah it was written by Shane Black who did the Lethal Weapon movies movie I'm not sure I know he did one of them at least is he the the low-rent Joss Whedon he's well I wouldn't call him a low-rent JA sweet he's been around a lot longer than Joss Whedon but this movie especially reminded me of some of the issues I have with Joss Whedon too which is that everyone's just a little too clever mmm there's a little too much of the the kind of funny banter at one point he runs into a little kid and you're like oh no the little kid um there's some really snappy and fun dialogue back and forth between them and there's one point where the look it's like I can help you and then you know you've seen it in movie so many times before with a little kid tags along yeah it was like yeah get lost kid and he drives off today is the first day of was the left of your life there's very little Iron Man in this Iron Man movie which is one of the things I liked because it's more about Tony Stark as a character he is Iron Man and there's some good Iron Man stuff in this but it's not just you know Iron Man fights the bad guy Iron Man saved someone from a burning building it's it's a lot more interesting than that there's a lot more creative and different types of sequences yeah there's a lot of different sub pieces in this like action set-pieces where it's like one is is 12 people get blown out of an airplane at 30,000 feet and Iron Man has to save them and then there's Tony Stark fighting a crazy lady in a kitchen inside a bar in Tennessee and it's like though it's not just robot versus robot blowing things up there's lots of variety in the movie um we're just admiring your player there yes top hat but yeah top load where'd you get that uh yeah it's you probably wouldn't know where it is it's this little hole in the wall oh yeah that sounds we like a lot of those places too and and that's just it just kept you kept refreshing things over and over again and it made it interesting well and another nice thing is that there's not too much of it I would say that the ending of course you have to have the big action Andy and I would say that's a little excessive but it was more acceptable because there was so little action throughout the rest of the movie yeah the action sort of punctuated moments throughout the movie but it wasn't just like crazy over-the-top things happening all the time it gets kind of crazy and over-the-top towards the end but it feels a little more earned because it's not the pace of the movie is not so like breakneck where you just are wore out by the end I'm gonna offer the choice you want an empty life or a meaningful death yeah so overall a really good movie I was thoroughly entertained by it and it was weird weird others ISM there was weird Ellis there was throwbacks too like it is Shane black who did Lethal Weapon and there's a moment where it's almost just like a buddy cop movie it's just Robert Downey jr. Don Cheadle with guns having a fun little dialogue back and forth like this there's a nice simple little moment and there's lots of nice simple little moments in this surrounded by of course the big typical action sequences and that's what is gonna made the other Iron Man movies and this one stand out a little bit as being a little more unique and fun to watch than a lot of these are yeah you know you know what I thought was unique and fun to watch was Thor oh yeah Thor different than Thor Thor is always Thor this is like you know there's Tony Stark and then he's Iron Man or you have like there's Bruce Banner and then he becomes the Incredible Hulk most of these movies where that's the case or there's an alter ego the normal everyday person is completely [ __ ] boring and these movies the normal person is far more entertaining than the superhero hey I liked the new Peter Parker okay it's it's a it's a tough thing because we talked about this in the jack and the giant Beanstalk movie where which I don't think you've ever gotten the title of correct but where it's like okay it's a big movie it has to have a giant ending and I'm watching the ending of this and I'm like how do these people that made this movie keep track of all this [ __ ] like all these shots and we watch the end credits oh they're live hundred million names as funny as this movie was the funniest part was the end credits when it says visual effects artists and it's just rows and rows of names that goes on from 10 minutes yeah and it fills names fill the entire screen literally fills the entire series like probably 25,000 visual effects artists and there are so many people that worked on this movie it's just mind-blowing but but anyways you get to the end and it's so complicated and there's so many things happening and all these shots and this front guy flowers yeah and and and it's like every movie kind of has to end that way now it seems and really like you've seen the trailer I should in the trailer and this is not spoiler territory so because they give it away in the trailer right because I was waiting for it the whole movie in the trailer they he's like I got some friends on the way and then they show what like fifteen thirty hundred Iron Men like I'll appear and then and I kept waiting when's that moment come up when a hundred Iron Man flying so it's in the [ __ ] trailer it's not a spoiler but at the end of the movie Tony Stark goes I'm going to initiate operation secret underground base under my house that has a hundred and fifty Iron Man suits in it boom that's the name of the program and you're like okay well why didn't you do that and our early into the movie when you're trying to fix the broken Iron Man suit yeah plot hole fine whatever but the end of the movie a hundred of them come and it's like the one that he was trying to fix the busted one shows up at the end too and and I'm like all I needed was that one that would have been great if he has to win the day defeat the villain in the busted old Iron Man suit but really we need to have a hundred Iron Men explosions going off everywhere in order to fulfill that that cap cap the movie off with the kind of special-effects extravaganza that or when everyone is expecting yeah even though the movie is sprinkled with amazing visual effects throughout the whole thing it needs the big ending story-wise this really did know and and that's that's the problem the only problem for me was it's like okay it's it's it's an orgy of special effects on the screen but I really would have liked it because all the way up until then Tony Stark is this guy who's had his house blown up he's been cast away in Tennessee he's forced to build his own Iron Man suit and then at the end he goes a thousand Iron Man suits right here you're like oh no wouldn't it have been great if he just saved the day in a busted-ass half working iron man but that wouldn't have satisfied the the number anes yeah who chopped up corn in their face here that Hollywood we don't need your big dumb endings we need small dumb endings so after seeing a genuinely enjoyable movie we decided to treat ourselves by seeing a Michael Bay film yes we did literally a shot glass my name is Daniel Lugo and I want to make America a better place if you're willing to do the work you can have anything that's what makes the usf a great you work hard and what does life serve you a shame sandwich with a side order of [ __ ] don't be a don't err do be a doer pain and gain is the latest entry critically acclaimed filmmaker Michael Bay I'm doing the intro what I'm trying to do the intro intro to what pain and game [ __ ] does it even need and most of the movie is in focus and Ed Harris shows up for a little while to remind the audience what it's like to have feelings towards something on screen other than pure hate and depression Mike what did you think of pain and gain well J to say this movie was a nightmare would be an understatement yes while it wasn't the worst film I've ever seen uh it was it was pretty pretty [ __ ] terrible it wasn't even the worst Michael Bay movie I've seen on a technical level there's some decent shots in it there's some creative stuff visually the problem is and this is takes a little bit of explaining and is very specific so I'll try to do my best to make it understandable to everybody but here in Milwaukee there's a morning radio show and every city has the wacky morning deejays but this one in particular does a thing every morning where they read local news stories and decide which is the funniest and buy funniest they mean which people are the stupidest but one morning I was listening to them and they were describing a story from the local news about a man who was driving down the interstate at completely hammered this guy was apparently an alcoholic what an [ __ ] but he was driving with his small child in the backseat cops chased him finally he pulled over and then he just started running from the cops leaving his small child in the backseat of his car and the morning wacky morning DJ's were talking about this as if it was the funniest thing in the world and then this guy is just so stupid the way he left a small child in the car so point being this movie is the equivalent of that it's taking real misery and soft suffering and stupidity of human nature and saying haha look at these stupid people don't you think you deserve better as I do mr. doable are you currently using steroids I think they messed me up took a lot of balls to come in here well like Raisinets at least use a chocolate-covered Raisinets so compared to other Michael Bay movies this wasn't as irritating but I'll explain what the premise is because you probably don't know what it is you see the poster and it's mark wahlberg and the rock and they're bodybuilders with weights called pain and gain now what is this is this a weightlifting movie is it what you know but the premise is in the mid-90s a bunch of weight lifters in Florida kidnap a guy try to steal all his money for some to sign over his assets his house to them and they run the scam and they have kidnapped torture them all this weird stuff eventually that turns into murder drug addiction which is handled very tastefully oh yeah my opinion and you're sitting there watching in you're like this is a real story and it it becomes sort of just this fascinating mess of a movie and you you could kind of see what he was trying to do but failing miserably failing miserably is the key word because I think what he was trying to do I get the impression that Michael Bay is a fan of the Coen brothers based on the casting of not just this movie but other movies he's done transformers 3 at Frances McDorman in it he's used John Turturro a number of times this movie is Tony Shalhoub and Peter Stormare shows up all these Coen Brothers regulars and this movie feels like an attempt to make a Coen Brothers like movie yeah made by and for meathead douchebags I had a wife two beautiful daughters a perfect partner thank God I left her now with seven honey's of which I can choose from people that have no understanding of how to make a movie like that because you can make yes this is based on a true story and yes they turn it into it I don't want to call it a dark comedy this is like a farce it's like a Three Stooges farce with dramatic music under it yes completely baffling but you can take something that's based on a true story and have sort of a dark humorous element to it sure you just have to have some sort of wit and intelligence to the the way you approach the material and Michael Bay is just a tone deaf overbearing like everything is just in your face constantly everybody's shouting every shot is is crazy it's just too much of everything it's like an assault like you said Coen Brothers influence you really kind of I got the impression that Michael Bay just sat down and watched two movies burn after reading yeah a lot of burnt after reading in us which is which is um Brad Pitt Frances McDorman who both play dumb people who work in a gym who try to pull off a scam a criminal scam and I felt a lot of boogie nights because of Mark Wahlberg because of how the plot sort of starts speeding up towards the end and becomes crazy and how crazy things get as a result of cocaine and cocaine - and a whole tone is always a problem in his movies - where there's this like this juvenile poopypants humour mixed with more serious stuff and this movie has that problem the [ __ ] do you want knocked about me what the [ __ ] did you that for okay I need to read the manual I don't figure it out here you take one Michael Bay couldn't tell this story without without reverting to his his lowbrow mentality yeah exactly and he is worse than Adam Sandler in that regard where where he laughs at everyone yeah and this movie did not need the lowbrow humor I go I you could tell this story of these these weightlifter guys that pull off this scam or this this crime or whatever they're trying to do in a totally different fashion but he cannot resist dredging up the the muck yeah that that is him in a film yeah and that makes him a terrible terrible director Michael's trying to do something extremely different that was a conversation that we had after I read the script and you know but people will be really surprised that how funny he is and and and and how good he is at comedy so the idea of of someone like Michael Bay of all people taking this true story this violent story that affected in real people in a negative way and turning into you guys are successfully acquired every asset you have thanks buddy it's all legal and bindin and they're enjoying it he understands how to keep a movie going visually yeah that's the problem yeah no he understands how to keep a movie going visually he understands how to put a movie together visually um albeit it's like a music video and that that was the problem for me was that there's these moments between characters that are like okay this is a character moment this is this is dialogue it's not an action scene it's not a like montage it's not anything else but the camera is going like this and every shots moving and every shots moving in a like stop lock your camera down let it let the audience soak in what's happening look it bored though that's a thing it's like bored he's used to directing Transformers movies and he can't resist his own either his only ego or his own juvenile sensibilities it's the dumb jock in your high school trying to write a poem that's what painting game was yeah well that's I know I made like your your tits are as big as balloons I squeezed them yet they do not pop yes right you just summed up painting game you clown that's that Cabbage Patch all right here's a deal little fella I'm gonna headbutt you knock you out we do something bad maybe a little they got my toe you can see the bone if if the point is to say this rich [ __ ] who hates immigrant workers and who is selfish and greedy greed is the big thing right and we hate him because he has money Mark Wahlberg is a is a hard-working guy who just strives for the American dream and who ends up so desperate that he wants to steal it from someone else though that's that's the conflict of ideologies in this movie that we're supposed to understand or sympathize or or recognize in in this story yeah uh can you make it more dumber maybe try to be who you are agent I kind of liked it he I mean awaits of him I mean I see you take these real guys this real situation that did these things where they murdered people they stole money from people they murdered people they ruin people's lives and it's and they treat it like a Three Stooges routine that's what this movie is yeah it's the worst possible way to execute this material yeah and if Michael Bay is a director writer director whatever he's not a writer he's never written anything I don't even know if he knows how to read Michael Bay trying to handle anything other than robots punching each other is just like a joke you know what you know what's the hardest part Jane what it's so hard to describe in words how dumb Michael Bay movies are you sit there and and you watch it right and and there's a scene in this movie the guy that wasn't Mark Wahlberg or the rock goes into a medical clinic for his is erectile dysfunction because of overuse of steroids and the the the fat girl from bridesmaids is there and it wasn't melissa mccarthy who wasn't not the not melissa mccarthy girl she's she's talking to this black guy and and and she's like I love black men and he's like I love fat white [ __ ] they just met and and and and you're in the guise of a medical environment and she's like put this shot into your peepee and and it's like it's like you've got you've been transported back to junior high school and and it's it makes you want to throw up and you can't describe in words just how dumb the material is and you see people around you laughing and that's the most baffling part at me that one you feel like you're an alien that drew me back to when we saw transformers - I think it was when we were in a packed theater and there's these horrible horrible juveniles stupid jokes happening and people in the theater are laughing and you look around and you feel like you don't belong on this planet yeah I'll try to find a picture of my grandma so we can show her maybe they can put maybe they can put wood paneling on it speaking of wood paneling can you Instagram me oh yeah with this yeah we mine like I wouldn't be holding the VCR yeah that's what this movie made me wish for more than anything is to just not exist but just like I'm gonna look just it's kind of like you caught me okay got it but the question is you have Mark Wahlberg why is Mark Wahlberg deferring a salary to be in a Michael Bay film you know I think what it is I may be wrong about this but I think that he lost a bet I think as the result of being in this movie that Mark Wahlberg is now the lead in transformers 4 I could be wrong about that but I think that's the case Jay this sounds awfully conspiratorial but there's a there's a little there's a density to their muscle there's an animal quality to their muscle that I wanted to have and you know not only that but it's not about to be a conspiracy it's just the fact that you know you do a favor for a high-profile Hollywood director and um it's all come so clear to me now Hollywood is about money these people aren't artists they're just soulless hacks Mark Wahlberg for the longest time I've seen him as an artist ever since Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch and I'm realizing that Mark Wahlberg wants to make millions and millions of dollars and uh you know I thought wow to be able to kind of go back and play one of those guys would be really fun Jay this is this is profound so what you're saying is Michael Bay is a stupid [ __ ] the hell you doing on the ground it's supposed to hurt let's go painting game Russ you don't be a little [ __ ] don't eyeball me more I see your mother driving up and down the street looking at me I'd be a stepfather about a week okay so uh you've got a Sony looks like uh yes and 98 I mean this ghetto all right you two I'm good yeah these stairs are big now what's going on here getting our VCRs fixed this place is the only place in the world that still does it oh my god they're actually fixing VCRs yep interesting I have to go now

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 916,947

Keywords: redlettermedia, red, letter, media, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, plinkett, star wars, phantom menace review, iron man 3, robert downey jr, marvel, pain and gain, pain, gain, michael bay

Id: oIZF9vjO-3o

Length: 30min 19sec (1819 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/TargetQ2]

Was pain and gain worth watching?

[u/Megaharrison]

Honestly Marky Mark was good in the movie and depicted an idiot aging gym rat quite well. Couldn't think of a better guy for the role.

Michael Bay does a lot better with low-action crazy-enough-it's-true stories then he does with big budget CGI action it seems. Pain and Gain was entertaining and didn't seem like a classic Bay movie at all.