H3 Podcast #64 - Jacksfilms & Erik (& Call-in from Cougar Champ)

welcome everybody to another episode of the h3 podcast today's episode is sponsored by squarespace honey and quip we have got an incredible flippant episode to unback for you today okay from first of all we have later coming in the boys jack and eric first of all already the best episode doesn't get better than that until now we've got on the phone today kyle the cougar champion you guys may recall him from a recent video we did he was featured in a tlc the learning channel a documentary about strange addictions he's a 30 year old dude who slam dunks on 90 year olds but he dates exclusively older women and he basically wrote to us after we made the video talking about him saying like they they misportrayed him he wanted to clarify a couple of things i have a couple of things i want to clarify with him too but he's an interesting guy right i mean who who who of us have lived that life you know what i mean nobody to actually slay someone with your penis is kind of like the ultimate honor as a man it's like i [ __ ] i killed her with my dick i wonder what he has to say about that i'll ask if that's an accurate portrayal of what he does in the bedroom um so he's lined up we're gonna get on the phone with kyle and then jack and eric are gonna hop right in and it's the may the force be with you memes happy star wars day in a way the new star wars are fun but they've also kind of ruined the specialness of star wars it used to be may the may the fourth be with you and it's like this beautiful perfect franchise that everybody loves and now it's all like that one was okay this one was fine it's like there's nothing special there's han solo origin movie coming out in like a week it's like you know it'll probably get a 70. and then all of a sudden because we all wrote off the prequels we're all like well it's still perfect because george came back and he's a little old i don't know i see what you mean yeah i have fun watching them just live it you know just live things you know ian the intern is um an adamant defender of the prequels he loves them whoa interesting yeah yeah i like this argument with him a few times ian i'd like to bring you on and possibly could you prepare a dissertation and we can kind of like challenge your thesis like a doctorate's degree he's out walking shredder but when he gets back i'll uh i'll see if he's he probably had something prepared he was pretty passionate about it he has interesting theories in he's a free thinker and under a big kanye yeah all right but enough of the [ __ ] by the way next week we're taking a week off we were trying to think i want to take a vacation yeah but then we're like oh let's go to hawaii did we talk about this already was this somewhere else i don't think you guys talked about it i was like i want to go to hawaii oh i want to go to europe i want to go to mexico and then i'm like hold on a [ __ ] second these aren't vacations these are always miserable works with so much headache like you gotta find a flight and the airport going to airports is worse than any day of work you've ever done unpacking right and then by the time you get five days but you're work because like the last two days you're worrying because you're like oh i gotta pack my [ __ ] up and go to the airport yeah every time we go to israel we do that every year it's not vacation let's be frank it's pretty flippin far from vacation so what i had this brilliant idea no one's ever thought of it before i was like you know what we're gonna do i'm gonna turn off my phone i'm not gonna look at social media i'm not gonna do anything i'm just gonna chill in my house i'm gonna just relax that's a [ __ ] vacation you remember when you were kids summer vacation that was a vacation it was such a vacation that you used to be like i'm ready to go back to school yeah that's a vacation when you're like i'm bored i got when we decided to do that i all of a sudden got so excited i can't wait like that sounds amazing yeah i'm relieved i was like relieved i just like the idea of not using my phone right nothing no emails no anything i've been feeling more and more about how actually toxic all the social media stuff going on and all the like i mean how the frequent checking of the phone and like either looking for like news or reddit post or twitter or instagram something to satisfy you're always searching for something like interesting like where is it and you've just you get less and less reward and more and more time on and it really feels like an addiction it's become so depressing yeah it is it's funny remember we used to make fun of those videos social media but that guy makes it more they the way that they do it that i don't like like prince where he's like look up from your phone it's more about he doesn't really approach it from a way that that's like this is an addiction and let's use this in moderation it's like look up and don't look down look up on your phone i don't know the way they do it's annoying yeah i'm just a guy talking so the way that i do it when i feel it it's real no i'm an [ __ ] he was right he was ahead of the game but i feel like now more than ever people are starting to realize like man this [ __ ] is kind of like an actual problem all of a sudden yeah yeah our intern ian he said he'd erased all of his social media and he has a little brother who says he uses instagram even more and it's like a real problem interesting the kids who are younger than us have like new problems yeah because i grew up with the internet but now these kids who are coming up now were born with social media right yeah and that is a whole new twisted mind [ __ ] to grow up with i don't know it's really lately it's just depressing me like instagram used to be my favorite me too and now i'm like every time i open it i get depressed i don't know why facebook's been dead to me for a long time but i still facebook was my first social media but i still after all this time i don't use it i still reflexively go type f in the browser go to facebook i don't look at it for very long maybe like 30 seconds but i i hate being on facebook but i still after all this time it's to go to that weird habit reddit started to get really bad for me like i'll all sit in bed and waste an hour just scrolling reddit and and in my mind i'm like i don't want to be doing this i could be doing anything else but this but spend an hour so so it used to be like the j i i enjoyed it and i was in the moment but now i'm wanting to be doing something else but so you still do it yeah it's weird it's so bad it's a weird thing it sounds like everyone is feeling it too like especially lately yeah what are they doing because they know they're doing [ __ ] to like manipulate you for sure you know since facebook bought instagram i've been reading stuff about how they'll specifically under report likes on your posts so that you will think that it's underperforming and you'll keep checking it my god out of insecurity like how twisted how sick can you be when did they buy instagram they did it secretly it happened like i don't know a year ago but there was longer than that how was it yeah it was but that was that was so smart of them because that's why i hate instagram now because it used to be my favorite one they're getting more manipulative with the stories the stories keep you on yeah the i don't know and now they started like the like thing and they started switching the order it's no longer chronological yeah i hate that and so it's really all about manipulating you at any cost no ethical consideration exactly just to spend as much time on it as possible well anyway let's talk to kyle the grandma [ __ ] i wonder what's his social media like well i'm really looking forward to that vacation i'm gonna really just try to unplug and what i'm gonna try i'm looking in the chat right now and a lot of people are saying they feel exactly the same yeah i don't know there's something in the air where just suddenly we've gotten really this should be like a national thing where everyone takes a week off of everything damn that'd be that'd be killer next week that'd be really cool next week guys do it let's all do it together seriously like leave the calls on if there's an emergency people can call you sure but no text no anything yeah i'm really looking forward to it and and one thing i want to focus on is like just doing things that are i know are good for me during that time like i'm not going to work i'm going to enjoy myself i'm going to play video games and stuff but i'm not going to like drink i'm not going to order pizza i'm not going to what i want to do is focus on like exercising every morning because usually i make excuses like oh i don't have time i have too much [ __ ] yeah right gotta work i'm i'm busy browsing reddit for an hour every morning so what i want to try to do is like take care of stuff around the house get in the habit of exercising every morning eating healthy and just having like a holistic experience of like wellness i love that idea so we'll see where we're at so yeah i'm looking forward to that um so no podcast next week um but hey you know what okay let's get back on track um so kyle the cougar champ a lot of you probably know who he is a lot of you probably don't so i'm gonna play a little clip here to bring you guys all up to speed who who those who are and not familiar with your boy the great my name is kyle i'm 31 i live in pittsburgh and i'm addicted to dating older women where's the [ __ ] mouse button much older women couldn't find it all right like 60 70 80 year old older women i love everything about older women i love the smell i love the feel i love the mentality have something to say no i just i love that it says i love the smell yeah i love the smell it's like i want to actually ask them what do they smell like what is what is how do they smell like what is the smell because when i think of older women i think like like musky closet like closet of old yeah like a stinky house that i guess he likes that maybe like you smell of old socks i don't know i love dentures women you know you seriously ladies i promise you telling your man that you have dentures will not turn them off it'll put a smile on his face he'll put a smile on his pants okay i want to know who wrote that line for him hold on the dentures dentures will put a smile in your pants so anyway this guy he's really enthusiastic and actually what we found out after we made this video is that while he's dating a 91 year old currently or i don't know if she's in one of the videos at least but he we later discovered he makes porn he's a pornographer and he uh he [ __ ] old ladies on camera i don't know if that's his primary business but i have so many questions for him so with that being said let's let's bring him out man kyle uh let's grab him kyle the cougar champion are you there hey it's good to be here man i'm kind of under the weather i have a cold but um yeah good to be here you sound great man don't worry about it but uh first of all let me just say what a honor and thrill it is to be in the presence of the one and only cougar champion is that some is that a title you've given yourself or was that anointed by others that was something um when i decided i was going to do porn i had to pick a name and that's just the name i came up with there's a hell of an echo while i'm talking to you oh maybe it's because it is so loud oh here we go in our room yeah let me fix that dan he's got uh feedback can you hear me dan yeah you know what here let me uh it's kind of loud in there yeah yeah a little bit louder all right kyle go ahead try that now okay is that better i can hear you that's much better okay okay great so um you had this great well first of all what is it actually you're dating a 91 year old right okay um at the time that video was shooting they they portrayed it or they wrote it as a part and her and i were never dating we were you know we were having saturdays um but we were never together i rarely ever get involved on you know monogamy exclusivity with anyone that's very rare for me so i guess well did you were you having sex with the 91 year old oh yeah the later in the video the my transition video yeah we were [ __ ] for a while and you know what i'm talking about because you saw the um my my twitter page trigger champion the point i was all of that oh was that with her i i honestly had to i couldn't hang for that long dude i'm sorry there was a video she had some tats around her nipples i was like damn this lady's [ __ ] really seen some [ __ ] oh no that's that's someone different like you're talking about shirley the one that wasn't the um that was in the strange addiction that was actually no well let me ask you this when you're when you're slamming on a on a 91 year old are you more do you have to be more gentle because i know you you have quite a bit of range you'll go anywhere from like 70 to 100 i don't know where you draw the line but like are you more gentle when you when you slam dunk on older ladies i would say no you know the video that you posted um in the piece you get on me where it showed me there's like 91. yeah okay we've done porn together with her i never went easy i never took these i are you ever concerned about damaging the goods i mean what wrong thrust could be it could be a could be the last one well actually as of recently yes i am because i've sent two women to the hospital literally no oh you broke [ __ ] dude tell me about that situation okay so with this one lady and she claimed that she hadn't had sex and say like 15 years she was still married so we were we went out a couple of times my second time with this hotel we're drinking and whatnot um we got down like i did that one move we put our legs like way back we felt like our knees when we got to the hospital the doctors looked up inside her and they say there was a tear in the back of her [ __ ] looked like a smiley face so they had to stitch her up we couldn't do anything for like six weeks how did that make you feel did you feel bad or accomplished a little bit of both actually has anyone ever died while while you've been in a relationship with them yes actually marge died at 94. um connie was on the website she passed away last year um linda's passed away damn um when someone passes away like are you do you go to the funeral huh um i've actually one time i got a phone call from my grandson the way that was 91 of you showed the video of me and heart kissing her grandson called me up and was just like you know and i just want to say thanks for you showing her a good time glad um does it how do you feel like when when they pass away and is that like a like what's the what's the emotion that you experience because you you got to know when you get when you get with these ladies that that's a strong possibility right that they they're they're on an expiry there's been date than one that happened only two of them really hit me i mean the one in the video where i was kissing margin and i felt bad when she died but i actually felt bad for not feeling as bad as i thought the one that really got to me the one that really got to me was connie um is the one from the video sorry connie's the one from the video right the one that was too young for you damn wow well uh damn doug tell me about she was a lawful man together she was just incredible so when you mentioned that dentures put a smile on your pants like was that something that that you offered to the camera or was that something that the producers helped you dream up as much as i hate to admit it that was just total ad love and it's i love how you say that line of like i guarantee you all men love your dentures do you think that all men want to [ __ ] old ladies or i think um i think once you experience a gum job definitely standard is that what it's all about what's your experience yeah yeah once you give a gun job so if that's a new standard so describe a gum job to me i mean it's like it's getting a blow job but like there's no there's no chance of teeth scraping your [ __ ] up right and do you ask for a gum job or a [ __ ] when you when you present the opportunity to them well there's a lot of times where i can look at the woman i can tell she had a denture so you know i won't bring it up at first well let's say she's going down on me but at some point i asked her to take her teeth out usually at first she'll be nervous about one bite babe it's cool trust me it feels way better in the mouth damn and then they pop out the dentures and it's all about the gum at that point it's a gj they'll do it i mean yeah i mean the whole whole thing is like don't don't be an [ __ ] about it when you ask for it yeah just you know just you have to do it quickly so when you notice that a girl has dentures does that excite you it's definitely a plus but it's not a requirement i mean like yeah that's like bonus points basically i mean it's like you know it's like this is chance or [ __ ] she doesn't have to [ __ ] bonus point did you go now you had mentioned that when you slam on these old ladies you'll even put their legs up behind their heads that is a bit of a shock to me i was going to ask what position you engage in because they're somewhat seem to be somewhat fragile but in it it seems like are you trying to break them is that part of the thrill no i'm actually not trying to break them at all i mean you'd be surprised at how i guess surprised some of these women are i mean the craziest sex i ever had was with this lady she was 64 years old and it was as crazy as the point we her pool i would hold her head underwater while i [ __ ] her in her ass that is crazy wait how do you get to that point how does sex get to that around with the pool and point i would you know what i don't wanna i like to test and find out what her boundaries are you know well i'll take it as far as i can no means no that's cool but i just go and go to see how far she can take it i mean different positions i mean someone obviously can't get their way to a certain position somewhere in the camera and i think just overall you'd be really surprised as to how athletic older women can be in bed i mean the media gets a whole [ __ ] about frail and weakness and whatnot right and yeah you can't hurt here and there but on the other hand you did break two [ __ ] recently over a hundred i was gonna well um damn by the way the audio is a little [ __ ] is there anything to do about that i'm working on uh i tried to adjust the eq a little bit but honestly it just sounds like his reception is getting a little okay yeah um how many how many ladies old ladies would you say you slammed by now i'm not going to give an exact number but we'll say it's over 100. do you have the exact number of course i do you keep it oh you do you keep behind why why do you i'm curious why do you keep that guarded that exact number um but kind of someone that i care about a lot is listening right now well you already said over a hundred like i mean what's the big what can we really be that big of a difference well you know um right now um [ __ ] it as far as i know it's a okay i started attracting driver folder on my computer trying to get a picture of every woman and in the folder there's a subfolder of every you know woman's name and whatever and there's 136 folders in there right now damn and it has like pictures and [ __ ] like nudes wow is that [ __ ] like wow that's pretty gnarly dude do you keep like hair or anything like that what about ash has anyone been cremated and have you collected their ash all right let me ask you this have you ever been put in someone's will not what i'm aware of because i never received [ __ ] after anyone died not [Laughter] because it would make sense that these because these old ladies they really i mean you guys have like emotional bonds like they really it's a beautiful thing when you come into their lives they seem very happy to have that companionship so what didn't surprise me at all if they're like you know what i want to leave this guy a little bit of something i mean there has been that's well i really i really like the way you ordered that just now you're actually working out very well but i mean a lot of times people look at me and they stereotype me but you're just [ __ ] for the money when you [ __ ] because they're gonna give you this and that right um you actually just gave me way too much credit just now saying the whole emotional thing it's actually rare that it becomes like an emotional thing i mean because most of the time it most of the time it's just most of the times just alcohol and sex most of the time i wouldn't i would actually like i would i would assume the difference is because they're kind of lonely on ladies and now someone all of a sudden is interested in them it's like re-sparking older flames you know it makes sense to me that they're like it's a more of an emotional thing for them than than a sexual one i mean these women have all been through men no because i mean usually the majority of the time it's alcohol and staying up [ __ ] all night that's the majority of the time but then occasionally there are ones here and there like um are you just listening right now i took her to go see non-point last weekend you know the rock band nonpoint uh no i don't okay well i'll take her and see well it's a lot man i took her to see them on last week when we had drinks the ball ball was fine i mean here and there i mean i took one way to go for nine inch nails there's no way to go see marilyn manson that's exactly two ladies in mexico um there are ones that are that you know you do have bonds and relationships with but the majority of the time which just sucks that's interesting because if you hook up with an old lady is she always coming at you with like the texts and [ __ ] like what's it like to be texted at by an old lady who doesn't even really know how to use a phone or maybe that's a plus for you loose ends no losers that's a huge that is a huge misconception i used to work for a major cell phone provider you know i was in i was in the stores these old people know how to use cell phones absolutely i've gotten pictures of like [ __ ] and tips and videos of them doing [ __ ] all you know that were being texted today for me and they're 607. have what's the richest old lady you've been with do you have you ever landed like a real rich sugar mama you like took you to nice dinners and stuff i never asked for any of that [ __ ] but i mean i would say the one also too i i never googled their net worth i never look at how much they're worth but there was one that i had to guess was probably the most well-off i was dating a lady in pittsburgh who was like a head nurse of somewhere and um at one point she says to me she goes you know i'm basically rich i'm gonna move to florida i want you to come with me i looked at her i said no i thought no and she goes why not i i was like she has one up i was like i would hate you in a week i'd become a [ __ ] appliance you'd own me no so then finally i went off from the military like after after that military i'm sitting there in iraq i'm telling the story of my friends and my friends like man you're an [ __ ] like why well you could be in florida smoking about letting some grandma take care of you but no you're in [ __ ] iraq you're a dumbass i never i never i never researched that word but i don't give a [ __ ] yeah i see them because i actually i i will definitely say into your credit that you don't [ __ ] 130 old women if it's about money that's love for some old grandma [ __ ] right there let me ask you you said in the in the video that when you were in high school you realized you were attracted to older ladies because you had this hot older teacher and that's when you realized you attracted the old ladies i feel like there's more to that story i feel like this lifelong fetish has got to be born from something a little bit more than that did you have a relationship with her oh you saw the showtime piece too wow okay i did i didn't see that one i'm referencing the in the tlc you just made a brief anecdote about uh it started when or maybe yeah i don't i don't know but anyway oh so anyway the teachers i was representing honestly i never touched her you know i i see these stories on the news all the time about these teachers [ __ ] their students like where are they when i was a kid i could say the first older woman i ever had i mean i was 17 she was 34 that doesn't even [ __ ] count these days not to me it doesn't um she was a high school she was an art teacher at some college and uh she was introduced to me by a friend of school understanding her mom but that was that didn't even count because nowadays i don't want to look at you you're just you were just born being into older ladies i feel like that kind of stuff like like nothing ever happened weird with the older lady like you know nothing no no i mean to me i always respond to that question by saying this i ask you know why do you like grandmas that's like asking a gay guy why it likes guys i mean you just do i mean you know your people are wired how they're wired that's just what you're into interesting do you uh i'm actually the oldest lady you've dated is 91 right or was there anyone older than that i wouldn't say we were dating but like the last time thank you whatever yeah [ __ ] yeah the last time her and i had sex she was learning three lessons 93 you know you're talking about i cannot imagine an athletic 93 year old i've never met a 93 year old that wasn't just like on the verge of death you know what's funny about that um but the last time her and i had sex she was 93 that video is on my website right now it's on the right now over there right now guys is this your full-time job that you're a pornographer no no no i've been close i don't make i don't make nearly as much as they want to think i mean it's it's basically [ __ ] money i mean i don't make it's not enough quit my job not even close slightly what is your full-time job i'm not going to disclose that okay i will say this i mean we'll say a couple years ago i had like i had a great job that i really liked and it was just amazing and then i got found out at work yeah and they fired me because of the porn so far yeah you feel discriminated because you're into old ladies not really i mean i've heard some really funny jokes over the years and i mean by the way like the dtg on your own the youtube video was [ __ ] hilarious i mean you know it was great i mean i've heard from really i've heard some really funny jokes i've heard some really shitty jokes over the years um i really i look at it depending on the context so when i was um in the marines years ago there was some serious assholery towards what i was doing i'm serious [ __ ] right all right kyle thanks for calling in man i don't know how i feel about what you're doing but i do feel like in a weird way well i don't i don't like to hear the [ __ ] breaking that much i know that's probably uh you know it's a hazard of the job but you are bringing love and warmth into the lives of these old ladies right you bring in tenderness and um and you just keep smashing those [ __ ] doc just do your thing all right keep going jobs all right i really appreciate it hey god bless you dude keep sliming literally all right take care dude okay bye-bye um well that was a thrill well the boys are here yeah the boys are here the boys are here i need to unpack that experience a little bit with the boys i need to decompress a little bit so hope you guys enjoyed that that was a [ __ ] wild ride um we're gonna take a commercial break we will be back by the way it's may the fourth be with you but it's also cinco de mayo and we've got what is it called margherita margaritas on deck i got my brain fried from wrong think about all these gum jobs and stuff the gj a gj a g yeah anyway guys um we'll be right back with the boys it's going to be right stay tuned do not go anywhere this episode is sponsored by squarespace whether you need a domain website or online store make it with squarespace that's a command i'm pissed why am i so angry all the time when i do these copyrights or not you decide i'll give you something you're just passionate it's passion and it sounds like you're angry yeah it's not anger i'm gonna give you information you decide if this is a good choice for you okay here's here's the information you decide squarespace templates make creating a powerful online identity even easier you can create a beautiful website with squarespace turn key solution it's all in one you sign up everything you need is there you don't need to be a programmer you don't need to be a nasa scientist to create a beautiful website that lets you express who you really are see i didn't i 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him these six hundred dollar sheets by the way who's that was a bourgeois play of them to put a 600 sheets on the registry but you know what i was up for the challenge so we go there were some normal ones too not to make them yeah like they're all yeah it was more like a challenge like who the who wants who's gonna pay for this one who wants to be a real friend today anyway i did so we go over to macy's and and we're checking out we're ready to drop 600 bones and honey's like uh uh i don't think so it saved us 360 bucks and so from 600 we only spent 240 don't tell jack because he thinks we got the most expensive gift but now if you compare it to everything else it was like kind of middle of the road so don't tell jack whatever you do because he thinks we're like top dogging it but it turns out no just a nice gift when you shop online do you suddenly turn into a tab hoarder loading dozens and dozens of new tabs on your browser in search of a promo code just one that works afraid to 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better i can't get enough of this little vibrating tube and it's so slick the design is so slick you put it on your mirror like whatever surface you've got thing comes off and then you you put your clip in there you holster it here this thing comes off you holster your damn vibrating too there's a glue here it's freaking unbelievable here oh i think i already took it off yeah we already used it here's the deal let me let me tell you about quip i use this every morning it's it's changed my life in terms of brushing um first of all the bristles are soft it's rubber which is unusual or it has some rubber oh come on ela that's not a good demonstration [ __ ] obviously don't put it on your laptop no well we've we've used this yeah it works for a while so but the toothbrush okay the toothbrush it's got soft bristles you turn it on it vibrates dentists have said for a long time the vibrating toothbrush cleaner mouth better but that's not even the best part about it it tells you how long you 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guarantee you she doesn't use this toothbrush she has some she has some toothbrush that's made of like egyptian silk with like a platinum handle you think oprah uses this come on she has slaves to brush her teeth oprah's a billionaire i'm a normal guy i love this all right change this clip and put me ethan put it on his i put it on my oh wow list plus they're backed by 20 000 dentists and hygienists and hundreds of thousands of happy brushes i love this toothbrush give it a shot you will not regret it quip starts at 25 bucks go to get quipped.com i mean 25. i don't know what i said getquip.com h3 right now you'll get your first refill pack free with equip electric toothbrush you pop off the top you pop on a new top every three months they send it to you in the mail and you never have to worry about buying toothbrushes and shopping for that crap you know what sucks when you buy toothbrush because you can't really try it and then you don't like it you throw it out like oh wow yeah maybe that's me i don't know if people are that neurotic but like if you get one that's too stiff they'll [ __ ] your gums up it literally hurts my mouth get your first refill pack free at get quipped dot com slash three uh slash h3 that's g-e-t-q-u-i-p dot com slash h3 give em a shot and thank you to all of our sponsors you guys they make the show possible so if you're in the market please support them with that being said let's get right back in with jack and eric the boys the boys.com damn this is the part where you cut me off welcome back everybody to the h3 podcast here with the boys eric from common etiquette and jax films i love you guys these are my favorite episodes we come we drink we laugh we smile we gag we cry sometimes sometimes sometimes we [ __ ] grandmas i'm trying to decompress kind of decompress i just had an intense moment i wanted to first talk about well first of all jack you were just recently married so congratulations thank you very very first drink of much day yeah i'll drink to that and you all were at the uh the beautiful wedding mm-hmm dude that was one of the worst moments of my life yeah why just because i am no longer a single man no i don't know i and the fact that you don't know why is good yeah yeah tell me you didn't i didn't i didn't what what the [ __ ] during the so that's what that well i feel like that would have been better oh god so the invid i don't know we've lived in israel for so long i don't know how invitations to weddings work apparently it's like it says four o'clock it says and we're like oh okay because in israel it's like weddings at four show up at six uh because there's like you meet and you're talking still the actual thing right okay i see concerts work i think i know where this is that's how a lot of things work well we started about four that's how part it's like we started about four i guess in america when you write weddings at four that means your ass is up there saying vows at four damn right so when did you so when did you guys show up so we roll up around like 4 11. we roll up and i'm taking my it's not terrible but we're not dressed oh i see okay okay and i roll up and the valet is like um i'm like i'm here for the wedding and he's like the one at four and i was like yeah and we were like we thought this guy is attitude for someone like jeez no tip for you wow so we're going in the bathroom we're taking our time we're getting dressed yeah and then we're walking towards the where the wedding's happening and they go you know follow the path whatever so we're following a path and then we end up walking through this restaurant we're like hey where's the wedding i figured the restaurant was somehow associated and we walked through they're like oh you know it's that way so i walk through a double doors and right in your you're getting married right there and right right in your field of vision yeah literally jack is facing here and i'm walking through a door during the ceremony did you see me no not at all i did not i mean i was probably like so stressed at that moment i was it was it was just like the the it was a lot of things like like i don't want to say nervous but like you know it's just the ceremonies happening i was so oblivious to everything that was happening outside i know i know exactly where you're referencing i know exactly where that is that was right by the way right in front it couldn't be closer to where we were literally getting there was nobody else there it was and so i was like oh my god he definitely uh i was like oh my god why'd they tell me to come through here first of all so then we go around and everybody's sitting there's pretty much no spare seats and i'm like i'm so [ __ ] embarrassed i can't believe i didn't see this at all did you see this i was well it gets better it gets oh oh okay okay so um and of course part of it in my mind is like of course my own embarrassment is somehow paramount in my mind to your beautiful special moment i'm like this is so embarrassing and not being like this is such a magical beautiful thing no i get it i get it like that's yeah that's embarrassing so i walk up around and it's actually more of an intimate wedding than i expected it how many people were there 121. wow they really squeezed them yeah squeezed them in they did that's a surprise i i look like 50. yeah yeah well at any rate so we walk up and the usher's like i'm like there's no way i'm gonna go sit down and interrupt the ceremony i'm so [ __ ] embarrassed i'm just gonna stand back here and the usher's like no it's fine it's fine go ahead it's fine there's seats in the front row oh no and i'm like i'm not going to sit in the front row you're insane i'm just going to stand back here and and then there was this whole thing of like um it's more embarrassing that you're standing back there oh than sitting i swear man we would not have noticed we really like if you were wearing all pink with polka dots we would have you know because we're just like this the whole time you know like we would never would have noticed at least you weren't wearing a tux either to check the invitation if there's any dress code or anything well there really there really isn't there wasn't a dress code specified it was just you know it was uh i mean it wasn't it wasn't black tie like it wasn't anything like that it was just look look nice and i'm sure you and you did and we were freaking out that maybe there was also like a dress code and he wasn't following because i was wearing like a bomber it was i was fully we were just in panic the whole time basically but then this is when it gets really good the usher and ela are like arguing and i'm just in the corner like embarrassed there's fighting yeah yeah yeah but she's like just go sit in the front right nobody will will notice i'm like all right let's just [ __ ] go so we go up first of all who's on the right side whose parents were on the right side on facing facing us yeah from the audience that would be um my that'd be my parents yeah yeah yeah so they walk us up to the front [ __ ] row and then there's like four maybe six feet seats available but people put their stuff on it and the only two seats available were right next to your parents so they bring us up to the front row and sit us next to your parents and your parents turn to us like who the [ __ ] are these oh no and i was just broke i couldn't i was dying i was dying i wanted to fire in your shoes i'd be dying too i'd be dead already you should have turned to jack's mom have been like who are these guys who are these guys yeah he's crashing the [ __ ] wedding do you have any you have a buck oh i'm so sorry we didn't forget to listen to you guys about how you listen to the vows okay it was so like adorable thank you it was so beautiful it was really pure wonderful moment yeah at least we didn't miss the important part yeah well thank you very much you guys right this is so funny to hear because we had no clue at all i'm really happy to hear that because i i figured you had seen us coming through there and been like those [ __ ] are not only late they're not dressed right they're interrupting our ceremony no if there's much you could have done in that situation other than like hide behind a bush that's what i was doing like are you sure you don't want to sit you're right with the string quartet kind of nudged in that little alcove that's what it was you knock out the band and then you like grab one right oh it's not smart that would have been really smart man style see i'm hoping the videographer got some of this so that i can uh i can relive it yeah definitely yeah yeah sure it has to be there was one in particular that we kind of had to even like crawl under i'm sure it's there oh my god that's uh well how how was your oh yeah yeah it was an absolute blur the entire day like the ceremony was super short cocktail hour we were there for about five minutes um and then the band was there for four hours but it really felt like i heard about 30 minutes of music and that because it was just such the day was over so quickly and because a lot of it is that the photographers um keep pulling us they kept pulling us aside for pictures by the beach pictures about the sunset you know um let's get the the grooms you know we don't really have groomsmen but let's get the groomsmen for this and blah blah and so so that was a big part of it like you know in dinner we sit down to dinner and they're like okay can you get up we're gonna go uh the sun setting so we gotta get that golden that magic hour uh shot of the two of you guys i'm glad they did like when we get the photographs i'll be very happy they did all that but like um it was i think it was a perfect i say i think because like i think it was it was just so overwhelming in the best way possible but for us the experience was just so fast especially the actual um reception the the reception part of dinner and the band and everything was over so quickly and then all of a sudden boom it's the after party interesting and it's in the wee hours in the morning we're in the after party segment already and that's what kept that's what kept rolling through my head like so already and aaron throughout the day aaron kept saying to me like i can't believe it's already over not that it's here it's already over yeah so that's kind of sad but like because you plan your base like a wedding as you guys know is you're planning just the biggest part yeah for a year you're planning the biggest party of your lives that's all the wedding is and it's just yeah and there goes a month and a half of planning it was the same for us by the way yeah i i believe it it's just that that's what they don't tell you that's what they don't tell you about weddings um that is just it's over so quickly so i'm dying to get all the we're both we just want to relive through photographs and through videos yeah like god for the next week all we did was just sit in bed looking at other people's instagram stories um and you know just because uh we just we were like oh that happened apparently someone was juggling candles and we didn't [ __ ] know like all this [ __ ] happened that we didn't see because they kept pulling us or like okay photographs what's going on it was just it was so much of that damn um but uh were you ever like dude just leave me alone just no because i i never i can't say i was ever annoyed because for me it was just kind of like all right here we go uh because i knew it would be worth it in the end like i want these these these memories captured on some kind of yeah definitely format um because i'm not clearly i don't remember half of what happened i remember a quarter of what happened yeah um and i need like evidence i need hard physical evidence right and you haven't set all that stuff up yourself anyway so like if you were to say no you would have just been saying to no right to yourself right to my uh yeah yeah something that i paid for like three months right four months ago sir i am obligated you know contractually to be here yeah [ __ ] off you wrote me a note that said if you tell me to [ __ ] off that i insist i wish i were that smart to plan an extra charge right right well it was great and what i it there was such an like eclectic group of people like i was hanging out with um idubbbz and the fine brothers and eric that was fun yeah there's a whole youtube table uh the fine brothers were just and you know what i probably shouldn't say this but which was the guy we're hanging out with i always get him mixed up he was wrong benny raffi i don't give a [ __ ] people need to know this about him he had a cigarette with us sorry if i just [ __ ] your life ian made the cigarette right yeah it was crazy what did the one actually i felt bad for him after actually first of all that's not he i was shocked by how no fight i was like yo do you want a cigarette almost like as a joke like smoke the cigarette and he was like like by the time i finished she was like barbara man well i mean like you're not a smoker but every time i'm around you're like yep speaking of which all right now you got a dog in here i'm not trying to make your dog worry about my shreds i'm sorry can dogs get second can dogs get a cough do you want to find out that's fine i was just going to say find out yeah okay hard science yeah i'll be right back i'll just bring a quick aaron um well yeah that was great it was fun it was a yeah it was a good time just talking with everyone i mean it's it's the one time besides a funeral that you'll have everyone that you love in your life in one room together and so it was just i spoke to just about everyone i wanted to just about so when's the funeral the funeral is any day now i keep drinking like this any day though gonna be a band by the way the day was incredible too it was like perfect oh yeah santa barbara was just like ooh we got so lucky two days later when we were like walking out uh or checking out it was crazy cloudy and like if we like any later if we scheduled that wedding it would have gone to [ __ ] we got so it was it was just the perfect day yeah like months ago months ago aaron was checking the weather and you can't predict the the weather in a month in advance but it was saying stuff like you know possibility of rain possibility of rain and she was like a better [ __ ] knot yeah it cannot and it didn't of course of course it didn't not even a cloud really no not at all not at all it was just it was really blessed i uh it was it was idyllic you paid the the shadow masters to see the the sky with cloud clearing well that wasn't me that was a wedding coordinator oh i paid her to do that yeah yeah yeah yeah give me her info yeah i'm not getting married but i definitely want those numbers yeah yeah well okay let's get some let's get some margaritas in here yeah are we turning up here today sure i've got a ton of [ __ ] to get to first on my list is kanye twitter there's a lot to sift are you guys following uh a little bit a little i mean like i i don't follow him on twitter but i follow the controversy one of the great questions before we get into this is is this a performance piece is he just stirring controversy to promote his new album or not even that but just to stir controversy in a way one of his most controversial things among his peers was that he's endorsing trump right even further he's [ __ ] talking obama he said obama was prison for eight years and things didn't get better in chicago for example he said that so one thing that i've wondered and i've seen a lot of people speculating is like is this you know does he really believe this right oh wow you guys really got it you even salted the ribs oh my god we do not deserve that wow or i don't i don't want to speak for the group but yeah okay we don't i don't take salt on my room can you lick it off all right thank you guys wow really good cheers cheers let's continue this wedding celebration kanye's new album yeah i'm just saying chicago hasn't gotten better i don't know about chicago um have you been following it eric um yeah i mean like i feel like it's like clockwork the guy's got an album coming out so right he's gonna get his name out there but is it genuine though i mean it's not saying it's not genuine maybe it's something he's been like thinking and being like oh this be a good way to like he's being genuine about it but he knows the effect it'll have on giving him uh sure he's aware of larry yeah yeah i don't i mean i don't know i don't know if this if it's because of the um the upcoming album because um i i think i do think he believes these things i really do i don't think it's too um sensationalize his upcoming album i think it's just he's he's known for saying brash things he's been doing it for the better part of a decade now definitely i don't i don't think it's i mean maybe a little bit of it is related but he doesn't have to he like his album will sell whether or not he says crazy dumb things although he's kind of been under the radar and now he's like in the cultural mind like right everywhere but it could also be a result of him creatively getting out there again like the act of making music and getting out there this kind of new thoughts and stuff i don't know and he feels more encouraged to just say his thoughts now that he has an album that's an interesting perspective yeah well regardless whatever he's done he's never been like almost i don't want to say alienated but he's never been ostracized by his own community before like yes this is this is like kind of a first yeah because so anyway a lot of people may not know let's let's go through the history of of the kanye tweets yeah he actually had had his twitter deactivated until april 13th over a year of of blackout twitter but so all of a sudden he just woke up one day it was like let's [ __ ] go oh well that might be part of it then yeah i mean that has to be part of it yeah like i didn't realize for a whole year nothing deactivated not only not only nothing but deactivated i didn't know they could do that to a figure such as kanye and then well he did it they didn't do it oh oh the way you the way you said it made it sound like he like he was [ __ ] this guy right right right okay like like jack himself or whatever on twitter not a fan of jack of yeezy jack jack hates him yeah just like shot him down right shuts it right very right yeah not because of anything he said he was just you just graduation was his best work you guys feel like twitter does things where they like censor like people of political uh persuasions people there's experience a lot of conspiracy theories about yeah twitter shutting down people i would love to see that meeting of of the minds at twitter headquarters where like it's very sinister they're in like a dimly lit room they're like all right who do we press yeah because i think they shut down um uh joss whedon for a bit right like because he said some interesting well well he's on the left side right because i always hear it from conservatives so that kind of counters their rights it does it does so i'm not sure how they maybe there are some key words like like kill or like i don't know there have there has to be some algorithmic um uh things going on there behind the scenes but um i don't know how they really choose because it is it is kind of random but it happens on both sides it really yeah that that kind of nullifies that argument but i've seen a lot of like i know what you're talking about yeah it's almost always based on like harassment and [ __ ] like most definitely um like somebody getting their thing shut down it's usually because they were just they said [ __ ] how do i still have a twitter with that no but you're playful and fun my tweets to ted cruz are like they're pretty [ __ ] dark you've got to step it up have you made it a paper bag full of jizz and like nothing you got to step up to death threads i feel like yeah that's how you get banned you should make a video [ __ ] die that would be such a good video if you're challenging yourself to get banned from twitter i'm angry you don't do that it's just like me getting banned from all kinds of things right um like the something awful forums which cost getting banned from there right you just reply to anything low tax says and he's like all right well you're banned yeah nice um something awful it's jesus yeah love to see you making some death threats to texas right let's let's kick it up a notch but anyway kanye so he comes out comes out april 18th he says can i move this over like is this helpful to me no i just kind of want to keep looking at that logo it's just it's not about american logo uh yeah you got to click the link ah damn truth is my goal controversy is my gym is that almost contradictory in a way okay hold on let me analyze this i rather digest truth is my goal controversy is my gym uh if truth is a goal why would you need well that's really dumb country person yeah if controversy is what makes you strong yeah i mean controversy is almost at odds with truth in a way you shouldn't be controversial that's true no no you shouldn't be controversial for controversial sake like that's done being like that's like being edgy for edgy's sake that's thumb don't do that well he's trying to imply that the truth is always controversial and i mean it's not though yeah it's not it's not sometimes the truth is just boring next time my girlfriend tells me i need to go to the gym i'm gonna yo how about i do a couple reps of controversy also your girlfriend tells you to go to the gym that's my thoughts that's something i don't know imaginary girlfriend she yeah she doesn't like my blood pressure that's it yeah eric apparently has a girlfriend although every time conveniently he shows up somewhere he's like oh she's busy she broke her leg she she has a job in canada yeah nice there yeah yeah yeah you're busy it's fine i'll do a hundred reps of kind of first anime body pillow you [ __ ] just it's cool to be honest yeah well i have that too uh they're called a waifus thank you i knew i wasn't like is that how you pronounce that i've always gone through waifu oh maybe it is no we need it i thought it was white oh that's when you step it up yeah the way phil i'm way out of my element here let us know in the comments what you call your anime bodybuilders so anyway this was his first tweet i think okay that kind of sets you up with the expectations it sure does yeah that's the tone by the way god help us he's he's planning on running for president in 2024. hold on is he though i i feel like well i think that's part of what he loves about trump oh okay never mind never mind you did what he loves about trump is that he's like just a guy no different or better than me maybe even worse than me i'm more famous i'm more controversial if he can be president so can i they're both incredibly narcissistic right is the the common thread i see you think yeah i mean it's not like like i could [ __ ] on both of those guys just by how i feel about them but it's pretty tough to argue that they're not narcissists yeah i agree yeah yeah yeah they thrive on it but i mean [ __ ] me the thing is so maybe that's what the dragon energy is talking about dragons just [ __ ] love themselves his presidential strategy is kind of interesting because he's courting conservatives with his trump love in a big way i've seen like responses of like you see black people do get it some black people do get it and like he is going to be a crazy one dude let's run kanye i want to see that let's just embrace the circus that is careful what you wish for because i wanted trump to win for that reason and now look what this is even more insane this is even more of a circle i can yeah but in this in this post-trump world we live in i can see it happening if it gets to the point where like we get like all-out like boxing matches instead of uh [ __ ] debates right so it's just idiocracy yeah it's just a live-action idiocracy i mean it pretty much is as much of an equal amount of information that you'll get from a blocking boxing match as a modern day presidential election you're like yeah he looks good yeah i'll vote for him i like the way he you know ducks right right right yeah i kind of wish he would run against trump though i don't know why he's got to wait for 24. can you imagine i mean he just might let's just keep encouraging him yeah let's make it happen let's make it happen why wait for 24. yeah man up dude um maybe he's got a shout out to midterms it becomes just the senate get his ass in the senate senate house do you think oh man i can't imagine kanye showing up to the senate and helping craft some legislation he would not show up like all the other ones his his bills would be part for the court that would be perfect it'd all be this bill isn't perfect i gotta update my bill we voted on it no it's not done so um this is when [ __ ] gets starts getting dicey okay lay it on you don't have to agree with trump but the mob can't make me not love him we are both dragon energy he is my brother i love everyone i don't agree with everything anyone does that's what makes us individuals we have the right to independent thought that's a perfectly fine statement yeah the last sentence is yeah we have the right to independent thought absolutely [ __ ] lutely right i can get behind that um but uh dragon energy i would love that phrase i need that defined um i need that used in a sentence beyond we are both dragon energy right off of tiger blood that's all it is it's the new tire blood weird it's the new winning it's the new tiger blood it's the name of blood i'm not so familiar 10 years ago or maybe less than that um uh charlie sheen um had kind of just like a number of interviews or maybe it was just one famous infamous interview um where he's just he he had a couple of memes come out of this interview one was winning you know uh winning and then that was like the big thing that everyone repeated ad nauseam like my wife who was like that was the new [ __ ] poor rat basically you know and it got old um and memed to death and then the other was tiger blood like he has this like one or a couple of interviews where he just says really outlandish [ __ ] and another one was like we're both warlocks from like he's talking about someone else oh [ __ ] he and someone else are both warlocks from mars i'm paraphrasing but like like he he just weirdly poetic though at the same time weirdly poetic but also narcissistic you know coming it all comes back to this weird narcissism and so one of the things that came from this interview was um he's running on tiger blood like he references that okay and it's just one like what the [ __ ] does that mean so dragon energy yeah this decades tiger blood tiger blade makes more sense to me than dragon energy it's like what what just energy is that like a meter that fills up yeah video game game like the tiger blood makes more sense to me if you like i've got blood it's extra charged but dragon energy is like uh yeah is that something that's harder to gauge can an evil warlock steal that from you put it into like a little globe definitely i think that happened in infinity war that you have a warlock creatures stone you will kneel before them it's very dragon balls yeah yes oh thank you thank you cheers the cheers thing thank you for the cheers i love you you cheered us up he he snuck in one of my um twitch broadcasts over a month or two ago and and did the same thing it was just it was like super nice he sent me on a wild goose chase for the best salsa in the game he was talking yeah he was talking about salsa newman's own salsa yeah that's the best one and he can find a better one and i went to like literally five different grocery stores trying to find newman's own i couldn't find it eventually i did i have to say notch well i love i love you and i appreciate you it was a little it tasted a little uh tomato pasty which i don't i don't know his donation he's swedish so i don't know i mean i grew up in california and i mean yeah yeah i don't know that newman i don't know that newman's got it but i i i recommended one to you notch that i hope you'll enjoy it costco has got this unbelievable it comes in a two-pack it's spicy i'm sorry costco costco bro well it's not costco brand some sweet okay okay i'm sure some sweet mexican lady in her basement is just like right with a giant wooden spoon or something that she can barely handle yeah that's how i imagine it being made i'm sure that's how it's made because it's so good love and labor it's so good there's no newman involved there's no old white man involved in this problem it's that good just an old lady it has to be a grandmother with a giant wooden spoon yeah yeah looking for a man yeah take her out on a night if only there was someone move right that's something right just one night to respark that love um but it's like anyway guys i don't know the name of it but if you check twitter i tweeted it to him let's get anyway christ no let me get one let me get to the uh let me get to the really juicy notch and salsa is the name of my dad rock band by the way he goes into on all these like um political rants talking about how he loves trump's and then he drops this one oh here we go i'm nice at ping punk that was my favorite tweet i like that one just nice because nice is such a funny adjective it is it is you never describe yourself as nice at anything right but i actually this is that i actually really like that tweet i'm gonna say like this is a great i disagree with virtually everything else this man says but i i really like that a lot i'm nice to ping-pong but it's like a reputation and i was like i have to like that that is such a great tweet right below it i'm nice that ding dong what the hell is that is that racist no no what the hell aaron i don't know what i didn't i think it i think it was because it had a penis yeah yeah that that's that's what i got i'm gonna assume the best oh those are big ass just balls yeah yeah there's monkey balls there's no lights on that why is that float to the top yeah why is that why twitter i know it is twitter so it probably isn't racist i like that a lot i'm not like i'm nice at ping pong like i can hold my own i gotta mean curve i gotta mean slice you know but i don't know there's something so wholesome about not using like a traditional adjective just drop it in nice it's like so sweet i don't believe him i don't believe he's good at ping pong you how much do you think kanye sits around and practices ping pong well have you seen his house he probably has like rows on rose upon ping pong tables like he pays someone to lose against him maybe but he's no i don't believe that i think he is actually nice at ping pong i would like to take him up on i'm pretty nice at ping pong i would love to take him up on that i played my my dad made me go to ping pong growing up i could i could hold my own but i'll say having following up on on these very divisive tweets that's that's a hell of a way to yeah to bring it back down that's quite occur but it gets it gets worse it gets worse he takes he takes a picture with the make america great again hat right right it's signed by donald trump um this was great i have to show this one oh was that the dilbert photo yeah the delbert photo because it i'm not a fan of that guy but hey whatever oh so so so the tr so trump gives him a call out thank you kanye very cool isn't it so condescending like very cool cool little guy yeah i can see him saying those words it's like talking to a kid like very cool very cool but but of course we also have to process the whole he's not retweeting connie's not retweeting trump [ __ ] no he's taking a and it's not a screencap he's taking a picture of his phone screen so there's a second [ __ ] phone yeah okay well i just point out that it goes deeper than that because it's actually a picture on instagram of the tweet oh yeah i didn't even add that up right you're right there's a okay so there's too much going on it is not the best way to get that screen shut out kanye from from yeah from media tkd i'm i don't even know what that okay oh that's hilarious kanye god bless you there's too many layers he's not you should retweet that i sh well i need to take a screenshot i'll post this on myspace and then get it printed on a shirt then yeah put it on a shirt and put that photo on linkedin right oh that's just i had to share that one but then this so this is when it gets really really uh really dicey is he recently did a um it's funny how much how much [ __ ] got dragged over this like chance the rapper tweeted out simply black people don't have to be democrats trying to defend kanye right and then the next day he issued this like epic apology of like how he got it so wrong and he's so sorry that chance did yeah like that's because people gave him so much [ __ ] just by saying sure they i'm sure they did well this is the internet this story heats up fast okay first of all he says obama was in office eight years and nothing happened in chicago changed that was that was that was really heavy but this is when it got really [ __ ] weird it was when you went on tmz you guys have seen this oh yes yes i don't think people necessarily understand what happened last week with the great amer make america great again hat what are you trying to do i know i don't know what you're saying well it was really just my subconscious it was a feeling i had you know like people were taught how to think we're taught how to feel we don't know how oh i think for ourselves we don't know how to feel for ourselves people say feel free but they don't really want us to feel free and uh i felt a freedom and first of all just doing something that everybody tells you not to do i just want to say before we get to the problematic stuff he does have a point here right and i do see what he was trying to do yeah like it is something good in a way no i agree just how like i agree like people don't know how to think anymore you're always looking for someone to tell you what to think about something and then you're repeating it and like the what is it like i i agree and i think what he's doing of like as a democrat or or i guess black people are expected to dislike trump that's like part of the culture i guess within their community and so he's like well well let me think about it for myself and come to a collision for myself i agree in liberal circles you're just expected to hate trump and a lot of people like it's one thing to come to a conclusion and hate him but it's another thing to just be like oh i hate him because i saw it on the tv right right like and it's fine it's fine to hate him but like you need to have reasons for that like that i'm i'm totally for that like yeah independent thought is encouraged it's it's it's smart but we all know what's happening here but then and this is when free thought goes wrong my boy like you know it's like so many rappers you'll look at a video a snoop dogg that's kind of a bad supporting evidence by the way it's just like he's a meme and rap so why should i hate him yeah but then he get in the office and now they don't love him like trump is one of rap's favorite he's a meme right now we talk about yes that before he was elected president people in hip-hop it was it was an end thing to put donald trump in your rhyme somewhere by the way i mean that's not endorsing his politics it's just not saying he's a meme yeah bad supporting evidence right so well hold on what what what is kanye saying here before like is he saying people would always like mention trump yeah lyrics even before he was president just because he was such a character yeah yeah like rachel i feel like they hated him before he was elect actually elected the apprentice man i thought i [ __ ] hate that show i never watched it that's the reason i don't like trump really he might even be a good president i [ __ ] hate the apprentice dude that [ __ ] was annoying did you watch y'all i ever watched the full i tried not to as hard as i could but like you know but you did roommates you didn't just like man i hate this [ __ ] old stupid face of him right i can't stand him yeah such a blowhard this face here that big big beautiful well he actually doesn't look too bad there he looks he looks you know dare i say presidential um yeah yeah shorten that [ __ ] but i'm not just in hip-hop i'm a black person in a black community but i'm not just that i feel like one thing is people try to minimize me to artists hip-hop uh black community yeah i'm always gonna represent that but also represent the world when you hear about slavery for 400 years for 400 years that sounds like a choice whoops yikes yikes whoops the noodles oh wait he did a little you were doing that he was like i mean right you were doing fine dude up until i mean you were making some good points and then you didn't i wonder if he premeditated that or if that just popped out i think it i think it popped out i think it popped up because i think he's very i think he's very um stream of conscience um kind of stirred the moment like i don't think he i don't think anything was premeditated about this at all i think it just happened and he just kind of ran with it everybody came to work and kanye was just there he's like oh [ __ ] here we go i got a new album right 100 years and it's all of y'all you know like it's like we're we're mentally in prison i like the word prison because slavery goes to too direct to the uh idea of blacks it's like he's trying to read 100 100 savory is blacks so prison is he's slowly swallowing what he just says right blacks and whites being one race right in the middle uh yeah he's not happy with a human race do you feel that i'm feeling dude do you feel that i'm being free and i'm thinking i actually this guy i actually don't think you're thinking anything yeah i love this guy this guy give him another job that was actually the absence of thought and the reason why i feel like that is because kanye you're entitled to your opinion you're entitled to believe whatever you want but there is fact and real world real life consequence behind everything that you just said while you are making music and being an artist and living the life that you've earned by being a genius the rest of us in society have to deal with these threats to our lives we have to deal with the marginalization that's come from the 400 years of slavery that you said for our people was a choice frankly i'm disappointed i'm appalled and brother i am unbelievable hurt by the fact that you have morphed into something to me that's not real that's crazy that that guy came up with that that was that was beautiful honestly it looks like he just popped out from a room in the back but the insinuation that slavery in america was a choice is pretty it doesn't make it's pretty [ __ ] pretty awful any [ __ ] sense at all i mean like that we were talking about it before with dan's like slaves always tried there was revolts they just like they're like cool you want to write we'll kill your family yeah i'll literally rape your child it took a [ __ ] civil war yeah yeah exactly it took a lot to end that [ __ ] yeah not exactly a choice literally almost tore the country part yeah well hey kanye's got a new album coming out is what i know this is so exciting i wonder if it's going to be good i was i was disappointed by that too because you know what did you hear the whoop-dee-doop they scooped it up i've just heard i've just read headlines i actually haven't heard the actual the album is going to be good it's going to be killer yeah yeah that's what i took away from it as well i love that it was good this next verse yeah listen up it was actually funny yeah well anyway look at us we've been talking about his ass for like a [ __ ] hour i know i know oh i mean hey it worked right that's exactly right it worked that's if that was his end game you know i don't think we got tricked into it either i think we knew exactly what we were doing by talking about it yeah no no he didn't but i'm still not convinced that he's saying the [ __ ] to promote his album i don't think that's it i really think this is what he i think it's pretty genuine i think it's genuine yeah which is like kind of kind of sad but i mean well it's not either way there's no win-win there's no winning scenario by the way i don't think that he actually thinks that i think you don't think so i think he like said it and now he's like trying to commit to it right so that he's not he doesn't have to apologize okay nobody ever wants to apologize no no no no yeah so no but anyway now this is a great little twist it's owl and the snoop dogg's cousin daz dillinger puts out a gang hit on kanye forcing him to increase security and file a restraining order doggy it's not that serious no no not an oh [ __ ] a is that so this is snoop's cousin yeah oh this guy looks this guy looks stable man why does he look like he looks like beetlejuice from horn's turn [ __ ] he's going to put a hit on me no you're looking at the threat this guy looks like a [ __ ] [ __ ] i shouldn't have said anything i'm just trying to think so he's i'm still kind of like hung up on the fact that he's snoop's cousin now is it is this now snoop's responsibility to talk to his cousin and be like hey maybe not [ __ ] do that i hope so or well one more thing or like is it like his eighth cousin removed or his cousin like yeah can you move can you guys look into the relation and what was snoop's response heard snoop talk about daz and his songs before i forget which oh but daz is you know never mind that has been name dropped well then snoop should definitely uh yeah thank you thank you [ __ ] speaking of that by the way snoop calls everyone cousin see like a real cousin that's a good thing that's not funny but definitely no that's not what it is no snoop's cousin ceremonial cousin to a degree you got to get your cousin kanye i looked it up uh yeah they're they're real cousins it's not like okay there goes that theory that's funny i'm sure that's all right yeah how about uh bill cosby raping a bunch of people that motherfucker's gonna die in prison wait bill cosby what he's going to do guilty guilty guilty america's dad yes man that's got to be one of the most like one of the greatest betrayals of all time absolutely like there's there's a hard turn knowing like god before hannibal's like now let's take it back when did this really like who was the whistleblower here was it happened i feel like he made it like what it is now right i think so he talked about it like everyone knew but no one knew before that yeah i never before that stage there was a lot of accusers before right but there was no social media it happened like decades ago where that's a lot more like hey this dude raped us right and then hannibal did his set like only a couple years ago and then a set went viral on video twitter video youtube video blah blah blah yeah exactly okay i wonder if hannibal like like how he processed that afterwards yeah like he disassociated with being the so can you guys look up if hannibal ever made a comment about that now that's a really good yeah crazy like you you killed bill cosby dude yeah you killed the man god damn it i mean he might deserve it yeah well he definitely deserves it he definitely deserves well he didn't know he didn't kill the guy he just said a [ __ ] word and then yeah yeah no he i'm sure he set some cogs in motion at the very least yeah right you know like a lot of i think i raised a ton of eyebrows like i'm sorry what because like mine included yeah i mean like not that i ever knew much about bill cosby to begin with i never watched the the bill cosby or the cosby show growing up kind of pre-dates yeah yeah exactly yeah you know of him oh we know what right you can't not even in israel same thing yeah like yeah you know bill cosby international star but apparently well they tried him once and it was a hung jury there was one person who wouldn't convict him right and the second time i guess there was one young black guy this jury was telling a story and she kept looking at him like trying to connect with him because they they thought that he might he might say not guilty and apparently the story is that the one thing that turned him was there's a recording of a deposition from like a decade ago in relation to some accusation and what she admitted on record to to giving some of his dates quaaludes right and then having sex with them yeah i remember that and i guess that's the one thing that the guy was like you know the thing that he did yeah right when he appears and he said he did it and he admit he did it i may have put a couple women to sleep gosh wonder if he ever sprinkled some date rape in like jello yeah did he ever get truly arched with it like did he go full villain at any point where like he was like i'm a bad man that's rather villainous oh this is not gonna look good what do you think about the fact that his wife's been married to him for like 50 years and stands by his side right yeah no but there's like no way she didn't know right well she recently i i think she's in the news now because she recently said this is mob justice like as a day or two ago well 47 rape victims i think does count as a mob they are they are a mom that's right yeah they're getting justice yeah well three of them are i think you only got guilty because it was the statute of limitation yeah i think the rest of them have to share that that feeling of justice but you know what you know what makes me think for sure it's real and there's always like the thing with michael jackson is everyone's always like and did he actually touch those kids or not i have no doubt with bill cosby like when you saw those women the relief after the verdict came i saw the clips of them like such relief and like so much like feeling that look of vindication like there's no way you could put that on i see yeah i say and also he admitted to doing it multiple times yeah i may have given them a couple benadryls yeah man what am i doing with this accident we're working on it all right that was really good i wouldn't attempt you were prepared bro you're prepared with the pudding and the rape a couple of puddings have this nice couch never mind the chains oh man it's very close it's very very close god which one do i'm doing i'm doing a younger cosby i'm not good at doing a very young i wish i was good at christians but i'm not um anyway that's just man yeah he's so [ __ ] old too it's just by the way he's going blind literally yeah right he looks like he looks like an old dog i feel like he plays with that old dog he does i feel like he plays it up to get sympathy yeah well he does have a guy like meeting him so it's probably old he's like how old is he no he's like 80 something right he's on the low side of 80. i bet he's quite a bit in the last couple of years though hold on hold on the thing is like okay he's 80. he's 80. i've met a lot of eight-year-olds who you can have it together at 80. yeah yeah especially when you're rich by the way how weird was it that the news were watching they were live streaming him driving away the whole time did you see that drove bro well not driving by like the car that he was in it was like a right bronco chase yeah wait what i didn't see that so after the court whole thing when he was guilty yeah and he left uh he was in a car and they were just driving away and all the news were just streaming him driving so it was it was oj all over again it was yeah it was so weird like driving home it's like they're waiting for him to do something you know it's kind of weird it's kind of sensationalizing yeah i mean like he's already guilty like he's already like stops and picks up a woman oh my god bill he's terrible he's like let's stop going down just one more pudding pop for the road oh god oh god but like how like everybody does not yeah you look at like harvey weinstein who was married to this fan this famous george what's her name georgia i'm like you knew that he was shh you knew he was dropping she's a judge on project runway goddamn boy god it's just a power thing they love it the women they love it i just hope he gets another netflix special that would be kind of cool though the prison the prison days yeah yeah yeah cosby's netflix set everyone's getting netflix specials you know that would probably be the highest rated [ __ ] ever yeah he's that mastermind dude he's got it together he's playing it up didn't work like walking out of the court being like hey hey hey it's like come on oh yeah that [ __ ] made me think that maybe he was losing his [ __ ] mind right right like what do you want that's not the move but not the move not at all [ __ ] fat albert apparently he uh after the verdict came in he stood up you guys probably heard and the prosecutor was like let's send him to prison now no bail because he's rich and he's a flea threat and he has a helicopter he doesn't have a plane you [ __ ] yeah right yeah that's what he said up in court and screamed he doesn't have a plane you [ __ ] i'm sick of him he said right right right right no about the prosecutor he got up and screaming right after the guilty verdict so he's like at this point he's got nothing more to lose you know can you imagine like forget about what he's done just imagine that the pit of sorrow and despair his life has become from being like the most iconic american right yeah one of them yeah just being [ __ ] worthless no worse than that not being worthless right being the most villainous person in in recent memory from going from going from america's dad to america's monster honestly yeah that's like he's not like not like worse than worthless because at least when you're worthless you're forgotten about it he's anything but forgotten right he's in the public you know consciousness because of what he's done what was his life before it all came to light i wonder if he was every day like fearing that because if if you know you did that one thing's been going on for decades and decades in december no way he probably thought he beat it yeah yeah absolutely i'm sure he had no i'm sure he slept soundly every night beforehand yeah because probably gave himself a quail and help and hit the best i wonder what these do like three or four decades like if you felt bad about what you did you would have stopped after maybe one decade right about four decades and the woman they actually got to prosecute him because there's a statute of limitation i don't know what it is but a lot of the old cases weren't able to press charges right yeah the one that was able to was from like 15 years ago or something like that so he was actually raping at the age of 65. yep that's pretty he's got a [ __ ] girlfriend what he's got a wife yeah but like you can get clearly that wasn't yeah right for him jesus christ she's like look bill like you're rich you're old i mean trump was banging porn stars at 60 something like right true going the wrong road allegedly allegedly true true i but not really i take it because by the way that that story is cracking me the [ __ ] up like i love how incompetent his to everyone out there listening who supports trump you just got to admit that this is a is an unbelievable train wreck how it's been like it's funny the way that they've been handling the story is just an unmanageable train wreck first i don't know who she is i never paid her any money then and then okay he yeah he paid her but uh i never paid him back right and then rudy [ __ ] giuliani right comes on fox and friends is like trump paid him back yeah so he didn't break any finance reform and then this morning trump's like he's wrong i never paid him back well good at least he's sticking to that then at least at least he's not backpedaling saying well i did pay him back but i used a condom like at least he's like finally like sticking to his guns how do they not get the story straight on the highest level possible get your [ __ ] story straight yeah giuliani do you think that they were on the same page when giuliani came on the show and was like he paid he paid him back he's going to come he's going to plot real hard i know what's the plot anymore yeah i don't understand what they're cause like i mean i i don't give a [ __ ] if he's cheating on his wife i assumed yeah it doesn't really bother my and it doesn't surprise anyone either like no it's just that how miserably organized and how bad of liars they are yeah more than what they insane yeah it's like dude you've got to do better than this like right how are you going to run the country if this is the best you can lie please trick me this is politics at the highest level yeah exactly well it wasn't chicago yeah chicago was a total you got to trick me or else i'm not voting for you [ __ ] that's my that's the secret yeah all i gotta do is trick us just be good at tricking us you guys hungry yet whatev i'm i'm done are you serious this is a production team that i love they read my [ __ ] mind i am so envious of what you guys always think correction-wise like the ubers and everything it's wonder it's vunderbar i got an uber helicopter from you guys here sorry shut the [ __ ] up cost us like 20k i got a dog you got the helicopter yeah 20k demolish the parking lot i owed the building another 25 to fix it on the books for a while don't know regrets though um here so uh russia made headlines recently they're actually a lot of people think of russia as like oh kind of like back a little backwards like second world right but they've actually developed the first drone delivered mail system that is completely revolutionizing uh the way that mail is done in russia um so they're really ahead of the game on that and here here's actually the maiden flight of the first delivery drone here we go [Music] such a great idea i love this music yeah it really solves it that's what happens when you put wall hacks in your dream did you guys hear i don't know if you follow this about like loot boxes and video games like how well you say what's the chance of actually getting [ __ ] huh good because good nothing good yeah that's china ethan oh china yeah another one's i think also just outright is banning them this is gambling for kids yeah it's [ __ ] up it's so [ __ ] up it really is it really absolutely is what's the stipulation to make it gambling like if you can sell the stuff that you get in your boxes i think it's more about the probability of what you might get because i'm too much of an old man to like like i know people sell knives and stuff and counter-strike right yeah right and skins and like they have a actual market value right yeah overwatch there's no resale market you're not allowed to sell items but it's just the kind of like well first of all they don't even tell you what are the odds wait is there a vegas you get the odds i'm very old is does overwatch have a loot loot box system or the crate system yes okay okay yeah so we're both really old the uh the distinguishing factor is too that you can't you can't buy it outright you can only get it through the loot box okay okay okay yeah that's a motivating thanks god thank you i really hate that this is such a um prevalent thing in in video games because it's not fun it's not it it it's worse than gambling it's like a maybe maybe scenario right like i don't but it's become it has become the game it's not a factor in the game it's the game itself and that's like what the [ __ ] what happened to like beating level one like i i hate it right i and i just avoid any and all yeah games that have that as as a selling point because if they had better looking skins but like every time i see somebody with like a skin on their gun or something like that it looks [ __ ] stupid well pub g has stands out right like in a not a good way who it's a [ __ ] purple hello kitty gun yeah yeah yeah that's cool no i i shut up be like that my bad i don't know i would buy that but i think it appeals no it's not for you but it appeals to a certain type of person with an addictive personality yeah who's like ocd well like the collectible the collector and they want to collect everything they want to feel immersed in the game i guess it's like the new version of um very those are those rare game like like think think think banjo-kazooie and like all those like collect-a-thon games platforming games from like 20 years ago when you had to not just beat the game but you had to collect every coin every feather every uh gem and all those i think this is just the new form of platforming right if i'm going to be really [ __ ] geeky about it it's like and it's like introducing shopping in video games you know like something oh yeah you buy clothes that you don't need it just looks good right right like games are like that would you rather games be free because there's like well there's like a free to play yeah that's like supported by the by getting by and getting loot and stuff i don't know it's it's complicated i think no i would rather pay 50 for a good full game the way it has worked for decades like that's what i want like i don't want to pay like yeah in my opinion it's fine if you can buy it like and you know what you're buying you know just pay for something but like i don't i don't like the gambling aspect because you don't know what you're going to get yeah that part is really shady and you can literally gamble with those things on a website where it like rolls up right yeah that's what those kids got in trouble for csgo [ __ ] yeah yeah they had a [ __ ] that was literally gambling for children 100 because you could sell that [ __ ] that's crazy um i think that just simply putting the odds go is is goes a long way agreed when you see when you actually see your probability and it's like the equivalent of getting stricken by lightning right no wow yeah if you disclose that like in counter strike i swear to god you buy a [ __ ] crate you get like god knows what what the probability is you drop three bucks and you've got like one in a thousand right you know what's going on there yeah all right well god bless yeah we're going in the right direction banning or um at least more more more yeah more uh more of that please more transparency dude i've been playing god of war and like what a fun [ __ ] game because it's self-contained yeah i don't pay for like an extra tunic or shield or a hello kitty gauntlet that'd be great though that would be great uh santa monica studios if you're listening we would love some more uh 16. this changes the whole game boy get my machine gun by the way that game is sick it's really good i love it i grew up on the ps2 and ps3 god of wars and this is so it's very different the new one is extremely different really i haven't played the on any of the projects they're worth like i don't i think they have a collection for the ps4 i'm not sure like i don't i don't want to get too technical but they're worth checking out just because they're they're just good hacking slashers it's really it's just [ __ ] fun and this game is very different from that but it's still fun um this clip oh by the way i wanted to say this chris from one list one life we had these guys on our uh podcast yeah oh yes the guy got a [ __ ] he got a match you got him you got a bone marrow [ __ ] awesome i mean like unbelievable yeah i don't know if it was a result from the from the driving or if it was just like a matter of time thing yeah i actually promised someone a hand job and five thousand dollars but they're anonymous well not for long they're they're you're gonna have that anonymous dick in your hand i welcome it there's an anonymous person out there make me a promise give me a quaalude give you the quality give me the quality um mechanism by the way okay this spoilers if you guys have you guys all seen uh infinity war yes yeah uh-oh we're gonna so just a brief spoiler oh sarah did you see it yeah she saw it we're gonna take it okay if you have not seen it um please skip um skip this live twitch broadcast let me just say first of all it's not uh are you really going to show me that it's not that bad it's just hilarious wait someone in the chat is just the arrested development one someone in the chat is saying that they did match with someone else what does that mean with the with the bone marrow what do you mean oh they did the they did the swab they did the swab and they said i didn't match with him but i did match with someone no way and we'll be doing that in two months holy [ __ ] oh my god yeah dude that's insane pretty crazy wow yeah wait some of your worst chat yeah someone right now someone's life here yeah that's right there cool man that's uh squiggles the duck squiggles the duck god bless you dude nice bragging rights yeah oh here's the deal i'm going to make you right now you get yourself a playlist for me and you can have me any way you want hey i have this squiggles to squiggles for saving a literal human life squiggles very cool i mean really that's that's a beautiful thing happy you're sharking up chocolate right wait this isn't what i thought it was i thought are we dropping we're not dropping hard spoilers are we because i no i wasn't against that no no okay here it is here it is first of all did you guys know it's the highest grossing film of all time i believe yeah i believe that i definitely believe it's on its way to be it's also the longest how it sounds like no it had it broke a record three [ __ ] hours okay i think it broke a record already i think the record was the fastest to a billion yes yes as of monday evening it hits 725 million that's it keep going keep [ __ ] going i am in love with this movie like i saw it on friday thursday or friday and i still can't stop thinking about it like and this is the first time a [ __ ] marvel movie did this to me i downloaded a cam of it just so i could watch a couple scenes that were stuck with me did you really yeah i kind of that's okay to admit to right i wanted to do that my service provider is comcast uh ip address one two eight something well anyway there was a clip from of mark ruffalo the guy who plays hulk a year ago oh i did ruffle it's ruffler forget about a fake fan it's it's a bit of a spoiler so don't click don't watch for the next like two minutes but it's so [ __ ] precious i have to watch it with you guys i don't know this one um this is from a year ago and nobody took it seriously because it seems like they're doing a bit but when you watch it now you realize go and save asgard together that's good it is it's amazing can you turn it up dan that's a lot of fun yeah there's something funky with the sound i think it's just a quiet video people are like counting looking at their watch they didn't come back right when he drops the bomb yeah can i say it no are you is it up yeah give it a shot now okay succeed in saving it i can't can i say it no i would imagine can i just give him a little a little taste i wouldn't say too much but you can say as much as i mean hey let me just say this like every other marvel movie it doesn't end well for the superheroes oh [ __ ] he's talking about nightmares so not down no it's really bad because it looks bad on him too he's like he doesn't want to be associated with that dude wait wait wait wait wait i'm sorry i'm so sorry i talked right over there wait till you see this next one everybody does that not everybody no oh my god but what is wrong with him like how how the [ __ ] no but nobody took this seriously no you can seriously beat us now i can't you know what's funny i'm really trying hard to remove myself from the knowledge of the movie and trying to make it's like the optical illusion i'm trying to see the old lady when i know that there's a young lady i'm trying to see the old one in the photograph i'm trying to figure out the bit and it does seem like a very genuine yeah like dude because because they do that jokey [ __ ] did i say something wrong yeah right can we edit this out the kirby enthusiasm music right needs to but all i'm thinking of right now is i mean like a he's right and b the genuine dudeism of mr cheadle is impossible to miss so good um so i can't i'm trying i can't get into sketch mode yet and it's like killing me i went to see the [ __ ] movie it doesn't end it's one of my favorite things ever yeah i want to see it again that's true and marvel it doesn't end that well somebody always bites or gets really badly wait till you see this next one everybody dies what is wrong with this dude don cheadle wonderful actor he's not that good nope because like that's because i looked at his eyes that's a genuine like like oh stop stop stop stop stop it's like it's like when everyone does what's uh what's spider-man um tom hall and tom holland is that his name the new what the venom uh no no no no no no oh that's that's tom holland because like well the young spider-man in this franchise tom holland his is infamous for revealing spoilers and stuff in interviews and so usually it's like benedict cumberbatch who does who has don cheadle's role and says like or or something hard not just not to spoil a movie oh my yeah well yeah you'd think right can i say uh i have a funny anecdote forever spoiling a movie is known as shawnee in my family my brother's name is sean and he has the best spoiling story of all time he's seen he's here by the way he's in the chat hey my brother not sean balon oh that's sean bellow oh my god oh he's a great guy there's nothing wrong with him he's a nice guy the uh the sixth sense which is like the most spoilable film of all time right so he's seen it i'm going to see it with him once and he goes there's one scene we're on a swing the kid's on a swing and he turns to me he goes you notice that the kid doesn't have a shadow or something stupid and i was like okay i understand exactly everything now and i and and by the way the worst part was that he did have a shadow it wasn't like a movie detail legitimate like it was a lie spoiler but then so i get super angry then we go back home my dad hasn't seen it yet and he's super excited and he's like how was the movie and i'm like sean ruined the [ __ ] movie for me midway through and he goes i didn't even tell you that he was dead at the end i didn't even tell you that he's dead and then my dad was like you oh that's some shining right there that's shawning the that's sean i love it well they should get your brother to do like uh epks for the next infinity war i know like show him the movie beforehand and then interview him on all the late shows right but i guess the point is that some people just i don't know they can't put a lid on it i think he i think his justification is he's actually genuinely excited about this movie and he's like dude you should see so this is like okay this was posted on july of last year you don't see the next one you should see the next one i think he's just genuinely excited i think a lot like especially tom holland like the spider-man is so excited about these movies like he they're yeah they almost don't realize what he's saying it's almost being like hyperbolic but it's actually but it's actually spoiler territory yeah how many people did we lose off the stream by pulling this up that's an interesting question i feel like everyone's seen it you don't get a billion dollars that's true anybody who's watching you right now about a thousand i think people bailed you can come back now everybody all right we're done we're done yeah send that tweet spoilers are done damn see the [ __ ] movie it's been out for a week you know what i wanna see it again i got the cam i'll give it to you you pick up a couple of things okay this i don't think this is a spoiler this is just a cool easter egg i read online and i was skeptical about this easter egg until i saw it the second time and it's [ __ ] true it's absolutely true i love this so what's happening here the directors the the russo the russell brothers um the so they have [ __ ] not trying to [ __ ] your story oh no um so these these brothers that directed infinity war they also did um uh civil war and they also directed back in the day they've directed a number of episodes on arrested development huh yeah that's quite a repertoire quite a rapper from a jump development to the biggest franchise in cinema so they um in in civil war they snuck in during the big airport fight scene with every all the avengers they're on the ter uh the we call the the turmac the tormach tarmac jesus christ the tarmac um in the distance it's subtle but you can clearly see the bluth staircase mobile the stick the car in the background as like a little homage it's from the rest of mel there's the show from there you know back in the day so in infinity war these guys were able to sneak in an even better arrested development easter egg that's off the [ __ ] charts and this is not a spoiler i really don't think it's a spoiler because it doesn't have anything to do with the plot well you can't top we already ruined the mood yeah we already oh yeah that's right oh yeah well at some point they end up on the collector's planets you know as as you guys know um and like that's not a spoiler and of course like the we've already had an excuse to do the howard the duck easter egg which was like a big thing in one of the older movies there's a split it's literally like two seconds long there's a shot of gamora on the collector's planet behind her is a tube containing [ __ ] tobias the never nude no are you freaking cute but he's blue have you seen this yeah i know yeah he's blew it out like the because of because of the uh the the blue man group that whole arc and he's when he blew and like and and it's there and i [ __ ] it took me everything to not lose my [ __ ] in the theater because like you have noticed you saw it right away well i see it until i watch the illegal copy that i have in my hard drive how was that i can't believe that you know it was good quality version i don't endorse uh piracy though they made a billion dollars yeah yeah they're not hurting i don't eat five bucks it's not when i was in uh israel i used to cam vids because it was kind of like the only choice sometimes but i could never [ __ ] watch cams i just they're always so shitty yeah i watched the cam the worst cam i ever did yeah was a cam of uh what was this the south park guys broadway play oh book of mormon yeah i watched the camera book of mormon that makes sense like i could watch it ruined the play for me because it was so bad it ruined the play all right never mind uh don't cam a broadway that's so i'll say in this cam of infinity war that i have there is a [ __ ] dude's head and you can hear the audience laughing at jokes throughout the entire time so like it came with the experience of that absolutely absolutely because we have that blue ray's had that option right turn on like the audience there's just some dude's [ __ ] head in front of you and some [ __ ] putting his feet up on the seat imagine being that [ __ ] guy baby holding a phone the whole damn time yeah yeah like honestly pouring out for that guy like like having the stamina to do that for three hours well back in the day they used to have to have cameras our actual camcorders with the [ __ ] mini vhs they put like a code over it or some [ __ ] well because i keep it so still that i wonder there's got to be something he's probably got a bottle pod yeah a monopod do you guys want to um cam some videos for fun and just see what it feels like i think we should go to infinity war why don't we see who gets the best that's what i was going to say let's all go cam we're all going to get it right we're all going to get our cameras in this room we'll put them all on ebay i'll call it the ethan version the eric version the jack version and then you guys can all vote afterwards we'll see who raises the most right and then whoever wins you can sponsor us to go rip off your next favorite film yeah we'll make a business out of it franchise that's a win-win-win in my book fbi's on their way now and the the trick is we do this all in brazil so we get away with it all right remember when we ripped on brazil for like two hours for the olympics so yeah we're sorry we made it we made a video a couple of years ago yeah the that was like the worst sports editing i don't even know how much that made it into the final thing not a lot i think it was like 90 seconds we spent like a bottle and a half of wine just [ __ ] yeah there's pizza outside i want to pour a stiffer drink because let's be honest yeah this is come on it's sugar water it's sugar with a dash of alcohol buzz i'm no i've got the beginning of a buzz but i want to make some mistakes here today nah i got some i got some absolute just waiting to be drunk that's like i wasn't gonna just spike in the punch a little bit even better you know yum yum so i'm just gonna run the bathroom guys we'll be right flipping back where is this yum thing coming from i don't know all right guys don't freaking leave because i mean what the hell are you doing you're already watching this on a friday afternoon i doubt you have anything better to do yeah just drink with us guys grab your penis puppetry later just grab a drink we'll be like we'll be dropping spoilers for affinity wars throughout there's no way to anticipate it every every 10 tier of donations gets a new spoiler superman [ __ ] dies dude i'm sorry but he does get paid for it what i hate yeah superman is like my one of my favorites behind batman and his movies in the past decade have sucked the hardest fastest superman movies his movies suck kevin spacey was a pretty good lex luthor though in superman wrong he really was that was a meme yeah remember that [ __ ] you're the man now dog right yeah i thought you were just passionate i didn't know you're doing impressions no no no no no no no that's like that's a lot no that and it's funny nobody remembers that superman movie nobody remembers that stupid that was the one that was my favorite isn't that funny the new ones are such dog [ __ ] it makes me want to [ __ ] die such an emo [ __ ] yeah who [ __ ] cares dude didn't really realize i felt so strongly no man you should it's it's tragic if you guys tune in we're going to be watching uh man of steel uh followed by uh yeah i got a good man yeah i camped my tv it was on fx earlier so i cammed it all right we'll be right back god damn it don't don't you go anywhere we are back from our break i had a couple slices had poured a drink and quaaluded our intern it's been a fun time man it's a blur it's a bit of a blur getting left just nothing else maybe um man i've got i've got some good stuff here let's see yeah what's your what you got ethan what do we got here lay it on us let me find boys club i have a ton of [ __ ] here but i want to pick out the la cream of the lee crop um is it another try not to cringe challenge god i have it kind of is honest because that [ __ ] was fantastic if you want to do that i mean i'm set up for this i don't want to i don't want to have it your way your way there you go yeah oh yeah that's all you do okay we're always challenged number 23 wait wait wait wait title oh on american idol season seven oh is this [ __ ] real this shit's kind of interesting because it starts as a joke but then you the line is blurred between like is should this guy be removed or is he doing a gag enjoy it's very quiet dan this is a love song that i wrote for paul abdul jesus doug that shirt's not doing him any favors i was gonna say that shirt needs to be a little bit longer but and buttoned up more like i don't know it looks like a toddler yeah i've got the level cranked here do you have any volume on it i'm not i'm out of juice that face is unbelievable oh boy that's a thumbnail right there that is yeah most definitely [ __ ] her up buttercup this guy just [ __ ] old ladies she'd be killing it they don't say no which apparently there's a market for so yeah who girl i knew absolutely not so it's all a bit you just you just debunked this i'm sorry i just told you santa's not real the emperor has no clothes but that's that's what's happening you're 100 right there that's why they would not let me get like that [ __ ] close yeah yeah my stocky what another black guy very cringey tell your dad you're so sorry eric's dad you're gonna get a phone call in a second well anyway it's not about kendrick it's about a white guy that comes why does this become like a race war much yeah time black and white people get but it's about so a fan gets on stage and like [ __ ] it up and he's white yeah okay i've seen this by the way this is brutal huh you got someone he said you want to go bro [Applause] oh he's got a great laugh yeah [Laughter] [Applause] i love kendrick he's like my favorite artist yeah in a long time god just throwing that up be serious though no sneak challenging you can't be you okay okay then come up here he said it's not really a challenge he said he just want to rock come up here it's very nice of him to [ __ ] do like to let someone on stage sometimes this works out really well they do it right frequently actually it works out well when they're in on it okay when they know that the guy is like are you ruining this now too no this is probably legit i'm sorry what's up no no no i'm not buying what you're saying no i'm not buying it okay now wait a minute wait a minute michael buble michael buble had a very big video from years ago where like some kid came on stage and he's like understand you're going to come and say right and then of course the kid kills it and has like the voice of a name so you think that's set up the [ __ ] level that is michael buble who's a boobalay who's buble why you're clearly not a 39 year old you don't [ __ ] with the buble that name he's like mr christmas dude michael buble has like okay you know like he's first off he's had another hit singles like home he looks like a boob that's a bad example he also has like um i just haven't met shu yet like that's buble he also does like all these christmas albums and kind of like the old sinatra big band vibe but he's like kind of like he brings it back for like a modern age he's just like a he's he's a big singer he's a bit of a buble he's a bit of a buble if i had to uh is there an accent over the e in buble or is it just i think there is i think that honestly is an accent but i could be very [ __ ] wrong otherwise it's booble not as good the accent is confirmed hey thank you thank you dan that's that's why that's why we got you here well at any rate yeah it takes a lot of balls first of all to accept that challenge absolutely since someone they are really good yeah they are not in on it i don't believe whatever [Laughter] damn you're getting on stage with kendrick bro you better be fire as [ __ ] it's all yours yeah they didn't see this [ __ ] kendrick just hands you the mic dude yo give me a beat oh my god oh no is that already bad oh yeah all right like yo give me a beat give me a beat guys like he owns the band i gotta tell you though i'm not gonna go far in your presence i ain't gonna go that far okay let me just see what you got because you never know so there's some people out here tonight in which case i need the beat okay give me something give me a room oh god he said he need to beat that's i'm gonna stop talking give me something very good no no no okay he's feeling it he's fine in the table it's a very good [ __ ] beat i can see the end of the video is coming up real quick something real bad it's your cue buddy [Music] kendrick's loving it new york [Music] [Applause] [Music] [ __ ] hate you [Applause] how is he not physically cringing he's loving it he's like yeah shout out to everyone who says i suck right now no one's saying that yeah and no one's saying that no one's saying that but oh bro you gotta save me i'm in a place where i save me yeah kick him off that's how you say oh man he's looking for help yeah he's looking for a lifestyle that is [ __ ] all right thank you this massive bodyguard's like get the [ __ ] right here they probably kick his ass out there and that was the last time kendrick ever let anyone on his stage ever yeah god damn you got to set a precedent i guess yeah yeah that's that's the idea of the world he looks amazing by comparison though like that was kind of brilliant in a way it's like maybe they're not saying he sucks but they're like damn he's amazing yeah oh so they like so here's what they do they [ __ ] pay someone no it's real to be bad to make candidates look better by comparison check jack's concluded christie closet yes wait what was that what was that pit bulls thing um thank you oh my god we need to read uh pitbull lyrics yeah we do here let me pull up some of those well that's just something that we need to do every time [ __ ] do you guys want to see a good one by the way i want to see a great one the ace here is [ __ ] tiny what is this the what is this this is ace theater yeah really yeah where's the oh where's the audience it's the audience i thought i said the ac the ac what do you [Music] [Music] i need control this was uploaded by [ __ ] we listen to this well we're criticizing it we're talking about it this was uploaded by the artist himself jordan alexandra isn't that [ __ ] dope dude 73 million i kind of want the imagery though yeah i want to see the music video no i don't nobody likes the lyric videos nobody's like 73 million dude this song's fire what do you know about good music yeah yeah yeah this isn't the official link bro the lyrics are so fire they need this okay me me not working hard yeah right picture that with the kodak [ __ ] yeah and then yeah [ __ ] and better yet go time and take a picture of me with the kodak that's that doesn't that mr pitbull with all due respect giant fan love your work uh not a rhyme that's a real shout out to go visit times square and find pitbull to take a picture i'm waiting times square took my life from negative to positive to positive i just want you to know that i thought i thought that would be like a fun like usually when people do that they set up for a pun like took my life from a negative to a positive and then like something like you know photograph or development just but you didn't know that but and there's no there's no just so you know you did that you did that thank you like what what like something about photoshop imagery no and then like it never [ __ ] happens look at this rhyme yeah tonight i will love you tonight [Music] did everything i think you just hate jude great pitbull song okay here's what i want to do i'm going to go pitbull and i'm going to sort by view count let's see what's his most it's jennifer lopez 1.2 billy jesus christ timbers uh number two rain over me that sounds like the name of a gay porn was that for the 911 movie with adam sandler what oh right rain over me with don cheadle yeah yeah yeah yeah it was a 911 movie right there was there no i know exactly what you're talking about yeah there was it's called reign over me thank christ don't worry don't worry i'm [ __ ] i'm saving you no but they're talking about that you're making a weird joke no no this is the movie was a weird joke yeah really seen the best work since the cobbler oh this doesn't seem very 911-ish to me this just wait tie it in all right hang on i need to pull up the lyrics to this always always mr worldwide oh my god dude have some respect for the people that that perished on that day mr worldwide mr nobody has like i don't think there's any connotation with the uh the um the classic don cheadle adam sandler movie ran over me but that'd be really annoying what was the plot of that movie i never stopped i just lost his wife and well i just saw posters i guess we'll see we really got really amazing like one of those videos i love those yes they don't do those anymore okay oh yeah they do no they still do grow my body just gotta look down [Music] i'm rising so high eight [Music] yeah apparently [Applause] get on with it dude i do not know the song really really man this is one of his top heads i've heard it everywhere really bro how are you going to [ __ ] write a brand deal into your first line did that just show skye vodka while he said volley's the new vodka wait wait i know i saw the vodka is that in the actual lyricism oh never mind bro of my whole life oh my god i wrote that into the first line oh my god i'm a smart guy bro volley's the new vodka never have i ever had a single drop of of uh volley i've never even seen it in the store i've never heard of it so i don't think it worked this is 2011. okay so sold out for nada volley is like uh uh dippin dots the supposed ice cream of the future that has not yet been the ice cream of the future yet how's that futuristic how how do does it freeze their dots because they're yeah because they're like they're ice cream like molecularized into little can i say i love dipping dots yeah but like overpriced well obviously but where do you hold on that's why i failed where do you where do you buy dippin dots well the only place you can get it the theme park that's right they're like that's right they're like yeah it's 30 bucks for a [ __ ] five dollars i wanted dipping dots to be the ice cream of the future but you got a tip but it's not it has been build i don't know ice cream in the future for like 20 years nobody [ __ ] you he froze all those little ice creams individually personally he's back there i sent you a good kendrick lamar fan video can we watch that or it's not i'm kidding are we over this i don't think we can top uh volleys the new vodka timber no that's that's really great that billion's the name is the new 30. and baby dude no it's not sorry all right all he's doing is singing like rachel ray yeah talk show titles i'm freaky baby i'ma make sure that your peach feels peachy baby no [ __ ] broads i like when women sexy classy sassy powerful yes they love me to get the middle nasty ow what this ain't a game you'll see dale mooney oh that's a little spanish sorry guys just know that 40's in the new 30 man never apologize for that cody wait bodhi's the new vodka what what does that mean i think that's a typo that's got to be a [ __ ] typo which is really funny in the next verse that's right yeah yeah a new brand deal it's a call from vote what the [ __ ] is this wow that's so sad um enough of pitbull okay so my new twitter bio is volley's new vodka let it be known out of my mind you sent me something ela yeah man this show is off the rails at this point but the problem is i mean what i love about the podcast is like once you get past two hours anyone who's still watching all bets are off oh absolutely no they're like patient they're into the company and people because they're is boring that's true and we're here drinking sometimes i feel the pressure like oh man i hope this is good but it's like at two hours oh you better not be feeling that baby no problems we're making new problems we're not making any lives better we're creating problems right eli there better not be a black person in this video otherwise you're in a big trouble it's not actually acceptable i'm gonna lose my dad stop did he text you yeah i'm not gonna donate no oh i wanted some bits from your dad [Music] this doesn't look fake but i mean i don't know i don't know [Music] she looks like she's gonna do a great job it could be a plan i'm not going to lie it's kind of she's really put together no what if she does the exact same rap that that last dude goes the same way brooklyn [Music] [Applause] do you think kendrick would lie i feel like he's too real right i'm telling you but you got to put butts in those seats you know what i'm saying so anything to sell the concert ticket okay here we go by the way if you're a fan this isn't that hard it's not that remarkable that guy failed so bad because he was doing his own [ __ ] like what what like here's the song i wrote guys yeah yeah i get enough of this on the side i need to be in this [ __ ] concert right right give me a b give me a b over and over again that's why i need that beat yeah well she's just she's singing the classics i can get down with that yeah damn you guys vocals oh my god that's a good refresher she's a cringe yeah i like seeing the palette even if they are i couldn't watch it i don't think they are it's not there's actually a better one that i thought this was it but i don't think it's fake that one's definitely not fake they're all not fake i think it's [ __ ] fake dude everyone in the front row knows the lines i want to get like a baby if i ever do like a concert and i i get my music career going i want to get a baby out of the audience and have it come up and perform hey do you know the lines yeah right these little babies i guess or something it's like a mic up to it and the baby kills it like man this was real just give it up baby toss it into the crowd that's easy five million views god all right let's move it on you guys want more cringe hell yeah later let me please um judge judy this this is just this is short and sweet this is powerful all right hold on well i i don't want to spoil it because i have a theory are you going to say it's fake jack because i'll walk out oh no no no quite the opposite is this the one where he [ __ ] admits to the stealing okay okay okay defendants were both tenants of yours is that in your home or condo apartment that was in the basement of my trailer no i'm just kidding no it was my home damn that oh man tough crowd huh that's a tough one not even the crickets that's been saved but not even him cracked a smile not even he was right yeah yeah i think he might have admitted to something there yeah you play yeah i mean this is probably maybe the the most bomb of any joke ever delivered in the history of man basement of my trailer no i'm just kidding no it's my home look at her oh that delivery is crazy now on the flip side if this is andy kaufman ask performance this guy's the real genius right right but something tells me it might not be but have you look at this deadpan delivery it is very very deadpan believe i have to watch this again yeah i love it he looks like he took like eight minutes beta blockers before coming in here she's the calmest dude in the world wait what is a beta blocker it's like a performance enhancement drug for people who [Music] uh do like like you're gonna do i mean i think it's meant for like blood pressure there's like a heart medicine some sort but what it does is it calms you down when you're gonna go perform in front of a crowd if you get like anxiety really have you ever tried that i i have taken it for a job interview once did it work it worked i guess i mean there might be a bit of did you get the job i did yeah for that i was very calm for it too beta blocker yeah can we get some beta blocks like like ask anyone if you know anybody who does like um like a piano uh audition or like they're getting into like juilliard or something like that and they have to go up in front of these people they're gonna be [ __ ] so nervous you take a little beta blocker and what's it block what's a beta it uh i think it it blocks your fight or flight response to be more just like in the middle like you don't you you're not feeling like your body's like [ __ ] trying to cringe its way out of a situation and you don't [ __ ] up because you're nervous can you od on that [ __ ] definitely i would imagine you get the od on anything this is what happens it was your point this guy odd on beta blockers yeah that was in the basement of my trailer nice high no i'm just kidding no it was my home damn someone in the back loved that island he got off on the wrong foot mr russell i'm going to assume that you had wanted to get off on the right foot with me so we're going to start again okay okay he looks like the dude from uh silicon valley yes definitely exactly definitely uh that's a very good robbie downsy junior full interview junior i didn't say that he's my favorite avenger i definitely did not say that oh this is yeah i'm not gonna watch it i just put it up to a reading mistake but now what we have is is a a lot of uh good material for fan art you're checking your subreddit outlets okay there was a lot of reports um and hour three i don't wanna price if you don't talk about it that's fine but what you said to the new york times once was it was about it was after your incarceration and you said you can't go from a two thousand dollar hotel i'm over it this guy interviewing him gets in trouble all the time for like oh there's setting up these is that for that just supposed to be talking about my [ __ ] movie and this guy's like tell me about your father so right and it's like whoa so anyway he's on the same crack news team as you recognize this class act that's the lady who did the channel 4 interview of jordan peterson oh in her face they're on the same crack team man they've got to get some better wait what's for i'm i'm well that's the jordan peterson interview this lady did an interview of jordan peterson to promote his books but she came like with all these real i mean it was really viral she uh she looks familiar she was just out to get him in short okay super rude well super accusatory i mean not a good interview for him it was great what what's the what's the saying like uh something of a something sticks together two birds of a feather birds of a feather something of a something birds is something of a feather yeah something with feathers that's channel four 4. but yeah that dude has uh has an interview with samuel jackson and oh no maybe just with tarantino but i think with samuel jackson too where he talks to quen tarantino he's like but do you think your movies need to be violent don't you think you're encouraging violence and tarantino who's always look he looks like he's always on like a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah yeah it's just like i don't care you see terrible tarantino yeah i'll do a cosby as it's just violence you see i think it's fun and i like to do it i love seeing tarantino like that that's a good interview tarantino just like he's like i don't care you pull that up uh ian dan i want to watch that um this is great how much i got it totally wrong a lot of drugs and i don't know if it was him but i remember someone accusing him of of making violent content and he slam dunked him yeah so this guy uh from an episode of cops probably the most tragic failure of all time to uh explain one's behavior it's a beautiful train wreck that gets worse with every passing sound i love it already prostitution activity in these hotels hello what's up buddy hi how are you good everything okay yeah uh what's your name sir isil okay what are you doing here sir nothing much i'm just voting for my friend what's your friend's name my friend name is raj is he staying at the hotel here no he came to meet someone over here so i'm just here to pick up my uh wallet because i forgot my wallet in his car you don't have any id on you i do step out okay bring your hand behind your back and where is raj yeah he told me he was gonna come back out okay what's in the baggie that was on your lap whoa just right into it the plastic bag that fell off your lap he's got a bag of meth first that falls off his lap i just i sat over here and then i fell asleep and then um and you woke up with that on your lap yes is that maybe something that could help you fall asleep or no no no no no no your pulse is through the roof no no i'm just a little nervous just nervous is your id in this uh wallet that you said your friend had that's not my id i can see a driver's license he can pull it up okay and this is not yours i don't know that was i didn't think what is this it's almost like a classic like abbott and costello it really is yeah it really this is like a modern who's on first deal right here oh my god one blasphemy i'm pretty sure it's methamphetamine driver's license was suspended and he's also got a warrant out of nevada county have you used drugs before only weed yeah i started smoking a little bit um a little bit of uh med i haven't touched anything at all okay are you guys gonna release me or well you're gonna go to court with the items that you were found in possession of uh-huh your story's still a little scattered do you have anything else illegal on your socks shoes anything like that no okay i know you're high okay i smoked weed you're higher than you think no no it's because when i woke up i seen the lights and stuff and i seen you guys i got nervous i had a monster drink i don't know that does it do your favorite till your head back tilt your head down a little bit okay your tongue is pasty white cup this guy's the best oh man he wants to get out of this real bad yeah not that i blame him but uh i wonder if you look up kebab on like webmd it's like pasty mouth pasty white tongue i'm i'm gonna say no i'm gonna say no i just had to cover that excuse always worked i just got done eating have you used your phone today yeah i was using to uh call raj who's susan susan uh this is wonderful no baby 100 for an hour oh my god oh my god 100 for an hour so it sounds like haggling on her price this is that's all i got to say i mean i don't unless you want me to make up stuff absolutely not totally being honest i don't have anything to like this that was incredible oh my god the tech that that's what sold it for me the [ __ ] text messages yeah wow that was uh please do that can they just look through your phone i'm i'm pretty sure this guy incriminated himself so bad that the police really had no [ __ ] reason to really question it but even if you're interesting how did they record it for a show is that can you do that it's cops baby do they show is there a really good question is there something where like if they sign a release they're they're able to like get some sort of plea deal or something that would be the best if he's just like that's the you really look out let my ass out or no because on judge judy when when uh you know payment is is decided on whatever the show pays both parties right so like it's not real court they're getting paid um like talent fees to be on it i wonder if cops is the same or it's like hey man i know you got busted with prostitute meth coke you're high there's a thousand bucks for the release yeah there you go sign this release we'll get you out of prison you will live forever in infamy on youtube that's not mine let's see oh here's the interview with quentin i just looked it up uh on cops it it really is the people just signed a release oh [ __ ] where's my mouth [Music] um but yeah how do they convince people to sign a release that seems like a yeah like well why would you want to put that on the internet if you're like the lowest moment in your life right well take that and apply it to [ __ ] to catch a predator how can we see those people's faces those people like afterwards they're like hey you want to sign unless they walk past the sign outside that was like this premises how did they get permission for catcher predator i think there might be some some legal arrangement made where they're like if you sign this we'll something something ever feather how could it ever be worth it maybe it's just like [ __ ] they're a pedophile they're like barely humans there are some of them that are blurred and some of them that are legal argument no not at all your honor he's a pedophile right he's not even human uh watch this episode of uh primetime television yeah that we put together good argument right while said it all right i do want to watch this let's see no it's mine oh it is the same guy [ __ ] this guy he's so smug too he talks like he's all sophisticated yeah he's just saying like i'm just here to promote my movie [ __ ] right right and of course you're not barbara walters the thing that's [ __ ] up the same thing happened to jordan with channel four it's like you're going and talking about your book that's the expectation you're not going in you're doing like 20 a day there's no expectation that there's yes there and it's not the right place either to come with like a serious confrontation with your gotcha questions or whatever it's like it's also a short interview like you can't right how are you going to ask a question about i don't know your dad and the past right and you don't know how they're going to chop it up after the fact exactly i really can't even go into it and i'm shutting your butt down what made quentin tarantino lose his call the movie director went on a rant during an interview to promote his new movie let me watch i don't need you to explain it when he didn't like i hate these clips well the real video is on the side but that's also eight and a half minutes that's that's from channel four i think there might be a good clip but it's also like can i can i give a good life advice to anyone who's ever out promoting something if channel 4 news asks you for an interview say hell no yes hell no before news is krishna and guru murphy on violence but why are you so sure that there's no link between enjoying movie violence and enjoying real violence i don't i well i'm going to tell you why i'm so excited don't ask me a question like that i'm not going to i'm not biting i refuse your question why because i refuse your question well what's your premise that there's proof that there is a correlation like it's not as burden of proof to disprove that so tarantino's been dealing with questions like that for a long time the other one you guys were talking about where he's like cause it's fun jan like he's he's a [ __ ] oh that one i need that one and she's like i need that one she's like why do you put so much violence in your movies because it's fun and i like it yeah right great answer can you get rid of that one yeah the one where he's yelling her name's jan too good memory yeah it would a question like that could only come from a jack that's a good way to get jacked in the morning i'm not your slave and you're not my master you can't make me dance to your tune i'm not a monkey because i'm here to sell my movie this is a commercial for the movie make no mistake and you know where i stand on it which is that there's no relationship yes but you haven't said why you think there's no relationship it's not your damn business what i think about that and i have explained it and i have explained even what you're talking about i'm just not giving it to you nice because i don't want to because you suck yeah because you're not deserving of it you're not just some [ __ ] guy you're just doing it for click bait right and for attention right and for sensationalism that's all that's all channel 4 does apparently damn i didn't realize channel 4 was on oh shredder's eating the tripod yeah eat that [ __ ] eat that tripod shutter i've explained this many times 20 years too much to kill myself over and over again because you want me to for you and your show your and your ratings about you want me to say it for you for your show this show right here right now are you getting better as you get older once back on to a question tarantino wanted to answer krishnan even got a smile i think i'm still in the sweet spot well i hope i'm surprised he oh here we got the other one yeah i'm surprised he entertained him after that i know you know what i mean like i would just all right this this is the class violence why not let us know because it's so much fun chan get it that's awesome short short and sweet that's awesome that's it a [ __ ] vine interview it's perfect oh shredder behave shreddy you're such a cutie pie shredder this guy goes right for the nose yeah but it's such a wonderful clip that it's honestly it's worth the watch most awkward 2014 i know i know it's not even over yet now right right here's and uh tell us what we're about to hear it's a great font it's a free style okay i'll just thank you though it's like one step below comic stands let me sit back go ahead marshall okay years ago they tried to years ago they tried to put me in this is live come again he goes he's look he wants a life raft so bad oh he goes ah this is live oh yeah that was a really nice try with him like to to you know do another take right he should have taken a [ __ ] beta blocker dude would have nailed it how do you get beta blockers oh uh doctors you get it from a doctor no i mean like you get it from like someone who has them who sells them ah you know ah same way you get the program okay same guy but can you is a beta blocker a prescription drug i believe it is i don't know exac there's no over-the-counter version of it i know so little i have never heard of this somehow is it a recreational drug well it's because you're not like a like a concert violinist like me sure like we are yeah like us of course yeah of course right the string boys um is there a name for for the um let me google yeah tell me more about this maybe you can just get it off amazon i don't know yeah it does i don't think beta blockers are are like the the name of the particular pill that's what i'm curious what's the name dan this is brutal is he trying to answer the question no he's just he's locked up man who am i okay okay okay years ago they tried to put me in the oh this is live oh buddy i love this talk show you want to try to read something from your book yeah yeah god bless you that's there's your life raft dude yeah oh you got it it's taken for blood pressure and [Music] it can also be used for anxiety okay what's the name of the drug uh propranolol i'm just i'm fascinated because i didn't know this was a thing and antino lol okay they both have lols in them interesting that that makes it sound way more i want that more now uh they're used they're prescribed off label for anxiety what does that mean well like you know if you're if you're auditioning for a like a movie or a play or something it just keeps you from freaking out in front of everybody i didn't know that that was a that that existed yeah i guess the stage fright blew up the dirty little secret of the the concerto business yeah but you sorry when you took it you didn't feel necessarily anything just that no you don't feel anything you just feel like you know there's there's no because i i do get nervous like i remember we were gonna do the live show i was like oh [ __ ] i'm gonna i should take a beta blocker for that right that i i would that would be a good use of it but then again i would probably get too loose-lipped and say something crazy too much get a text from myself you need some of those betas don't block all of them yeah don't block all of it i need some of my babies yeah i need a i need a a good healthy amount of betas right right there's a couple of things called beta eric dude we actually [ __ ] made it through this list that's crazy why we never do that go us i think i'm gonna grab a beer anybody want one it's ready i'll grab one for you shreddy do you have anything you want to say i'm okay thank you man look at this i'm saving it for tomorrow say you wanna say anything you can do a little bit all right i'll be right back he's talking in the morning oh he's thinking oh what a good well-trained boy he's the greatest so how long how long have you had shredder now i'm trying to do the math here four or five months four or five months okay five months with this little angel boy and how how old do you do we know his age yeah i know his birthday he was born in september okay september 4th i know his birthday good boy so he's still is a puppy under one year or is it two years okay i think it's one year one year okay oh there's a little puffer um playful there's really not that much more but here's a segment i wanted to do because i i find that i make fun of social justice warriors a lot mm-hmm yes yes you do and i'm i'm a liberal guy and a lot of our fans complain like oh why don't you make fun of conservatives more it's but i mean my answer to that is well first of all everybody hates social justice where it's like the easiest thing ever to make fun of it's the safest thing to make fun of but i finally have a reason to uh make fun of conservatives bring it so i am very happy to say you guys saw michelle wolf's uh white house correspondents thing yeah yeah brilliant i saw all these people all these conservatives who these i'm so afraid of shredder dying right now don't you on the did you find my chocolate jack's been throwing chocolate blitz at that thing that's cool right i just got pockets full of it don't do it they're filled with weed and beta blockers they're beta blocker chocolates [Music] a little chance of death just wires just [Laughter] this isn't really the time to try to make us to get like be coherent yeah sure it is this is the part you can't make mistakes i think i know where he's going i think i know where you're going well it's not that it's not that it's not good i'm sorry okay no you know exactly where i'm going right that the people who are like i'm so outraged how could you went over the line right there you've been on the tv talking about snowflakes and and oh i'm free speech and you shouldn't and it's like [ __ ] you you whiney [ __ ] look at this you don't even need to see what she said and by the way it wasn't that bad i thought it was funny i thought it was great there's some well constructed just as as like if you look at the construction of the jokes right the roasts are my favorite form of comedy so obviously i watched this and i was like yeah that's [ __ ] great good good work and then i was like oh this is going to piss a lot of people off but they do that every year that's the whole point the whole point right the function of it is kind of an important one where you give a comedian that it's almost like the joker of old where they get to take down the powers that be for all of us they get to [ __ ] on the king for lack of a better word and it's an important function of society it's a really cool thing yeah trump's a giant [ __ ] [ __ ] for not going there two years ago bro but that's fine it's a hostile environment it's not like that playful whatever but um like george bush sat there when colbert roasted literally next to him he got [ __ ] [ __ ] in his open mouth and george bush was there he took it he took it like a champion and you know what like a roast right that's what you [ __ ] do for a roast by the way was not talking to off track what was the last comedy central roast like does anyone know they're about to roast somebody yeah they are who it is yeah probably not a good sign i don't remember what it was yeah i'm sorry i missed it okay so so yeah so she also she did a good job of making fun of everyone by the way she's [ __ ] on liberals yeah conservatives like obviously you're going to [ __ ] on the powers that be they're the biggest targets that's the whole [ __ ] point so she she's really funny by the way um she spread the word i mean let me show you some clips of some whining little [ __ ] losers and of course oh this isn't it at all what the hell is this this is more cringe compilations um because it's what we do baby um fox fox and friends like coddling her like a little [ __ ] snowflake like these people are such a green we're so sorry that that happened it's um i'm so sorry there's no excuse for that i mean women should support other women and i just wanted to get your reaction because i thought you handled it with grace and with class thank you look uh i think that the that evening says a whole lot more about her than it does about me uh the people that were my friends before that evening or my friends today i love that like as my friends are like as if she was actually trying to ruin her life or something maybe they're still my friends so i i clearly came home yeah who made her teeth [Laughter] because i want to have a word with them first of all you weren't i'm gonna need an apology i'm offended i know she i gotta say i'm sorry about that can i say can i say something you may how the [ __ ] can you i'll just say this how are you expected as a comedian not to comment on that well the thing that a lot of people said was she was making fun of her looks and if you watch the whole thing she really doesn't she's making fun of her makeup but like barely but saying like she had a good smokey eye right i think that's kind of what it came from but it is but it wasn't like they were hearing stuff that was never said well they they're acting like she was up there like this fat [ __ ] is [ __ ] evil and i hope she gets hit by a car right it was good jokes it was a funny joke but that's what they were responding to that's what they heard somehow because they're acting like no they're playing what i'm saying her team funny right are a [ __ ] disgrace i think that's a camera trick well she's never actually opened her up like she's answering you right now that evening says a whole lot more about her than it does there's a whole lot more about you than it does i know you're right you're right but you can't point that out because you know what people are so you know why are they pointing at you you know why because liberals are so sensitive oh wait it's fox and friends i mean i don't have the best that's like get it off kill it like a joke liberals you know what i'm just i'm reveling in this because i never get the chance and look at these whiny [ __ ] now yeah it's very no it is hypocritical isn't it extremely yeah no i i i think you're right you revel in it oh my god that was it that was not a happy moment to pop teeth look like an upside down graveyard what oh man wow oh oh crib oh crib duff all right i could play some nice ping pong against them no okay that's you win that's the most common today the people that were my friends before that evening are my friends today and i'm going to continue doing as if one of her friends was like woof you got those weird ladies right that doesn't that's not that's not a coherent like no it doesn't yeah like that that makes no sense the people i'm proud to say that the people who were my friends yesterday are still my friends just goofing on you that doesn't matter we're not talking about your friends dude at all the job that i came here to do every single day i'm very proud of the fact that i work in this administration for this president and we're going to keep pushing forward and doing everything we can to make america better and i think we've had a great first year and a half at doing that a huge success story that we're proud of and i i hope that she can find some of the same happiness that we all have because i think she may need a little bit more of that in her life because uh the rest of us here are doing great you're wrong she just made some jokes dude i don't i don't think you're happy no i hope she finds a happier life i think they're really unhappy did you see uh dennis miller's tweets this supposed comedian well i used to be a fan of dennis miller sure sure sure i love this football commentary really yeah you could really tell he's a fan of sports i keep forgetting that he remember that's the thing yeah it was like the this is like the the sack of the goths against the black sea yeah and that was a touchdown right uh he said what a horrid human being michelle wolfe is i'm gonna read up on her over the next couple of days and i'll have a few brutally mean jokes about her by wednesday wait wait wait what i love that did we miss out on his jokes well here's the thing i think i never did i hate the burst um bubbles and you guys balloons but what happened was i think immediately after this he went on facebook and said you know what i'm actually not gonna do it like he he backpedaled [ __ ] hardcore and i know it's been like so like two days so two days ago on wednesday like all the com all the other comedians were tweeting out like it's dennis miller joke day and it was like they're actually really funny like taking piss out of it like here we go guys but it never happened and unfortunately on the 29th i think later that very day or maybe it was the 30th he actually backpedaled [ __ ] hardcore and said you know what he left it up uh what's oh left up this one i mean he left this tweet up he left that tweet up that's kind of weird that he did that i feel like he did actually somewhere on one of his social media platforms he backpedaled and said i'm not going to do the wednesday thing but not enough people saw that so that's why you never tweeted it he never tweeted it like yo i got more likes on this tweet than i have in a long time yeah yeah he was like oh right he's yeah at first she was never done i just as a comedian is that not the lamest [ __ ] ever i'm gonna take a couple days and study up on this that's very i'm not worthy enough to come up with something on right now give me a couple days i'll be i'll get to you back on wednesday such a [ __ ] cop-out such a cop-out i love that for a guy that's like you know as witty or like as as well-versed as this guy is you think he'd come up with something but nope well i'll tell you what dennis on by monday i'm going to do some research yeah there you go bye next friday take the weekend take the weekend by next friday i'm going to come back with some bro also wait can you pull his twitter back up i'd i would love to see i got that that profile picture again how long ago was this [ __ ] picture of him taking dennis what the hell this is this was alienated in like 10 by 10 pixels this is this is his head shot that got him hired on demon knight back in 1995 nice reference i'm sorry demon note count it demon knight demon knight wait am i right about that was it demon knight or was it bordello of blood what the [ __ ] is is and all he was in the tales from the crypt movie oh really how do you even find this low res of a photo yeah no that's uh such an obscure reference that's i know and i still i don't know photo no you know you know you killed it that's the photo well not all i mean yeah not all twitter avatars have the highest res i'm sure he got downgraded he's following six people oh [ __ ] let's are you [ __ ] guys damn it that's fine i've checked well that's it guys that's all we got ah man what did we learn man this was like a journey today to start with the grandma [ __ ] oh yeah all the way to here god was crazy i feel like to me imagine that with a kodak better yet imagine me in times square with a codex negative and positive keep going man that's all i remember just say tonight just stay tonight and sing songy tones uh for about three minutes and got yourself a [ __ ] hit we closed it before the next line but it also ended with tonight oh i like that yeah i wanna i'll come prepared with a good pitbull verse because ooh the people don't need to see the sausage being made i'll just find the best ones you know what a good game would be is you like is it a pitbull lyric or is it a blah blah blah like maybe you make up your own thing oh like you have to genius you gotta find the real pitbull lyrics oh my god maybe there's like a like is it a pitbull lyric or is it like uh shakespeare right that might be too easy that's a tough one no no no no you're on the right track just another artist like pitbull or michael buble no no i really like pitbull or did we just make this up on the spot yeah i think that's really [ __ ] funny there's so much write that down i'll have these guys put that together we can all play it again it's a funny game that's a great idea i love it i love it yeah nice try jimmy fallon we took we took it yeah you got it anymore now got him all right well yeah it's friday right yeah i think it's friday last week we did it like on a monday and it [ __ ] my whole like month up oh i i can't imagine how it wouldn't yeah this is like this is how you mark my end of the week these podcasts yeah right your anchors i'm stuck in a timeless void without this on friday this is this is you venting out all of the the steam from the week before right all right shreddy too i love it you got the you got the rubber off yeah congratulations shreds oh did you find the chocolate shreds he's not he's your boy you're gripping that might have been [ __ ] blood someone has um thanks for watching hope you have a great absolutely magic fantastic weekend you guys got anything going on you want the people to be after you yeah i'm just going to say uh come monday um i'm going to announce a new not not just new merch a new line of merch that i've been teasing for the last like month and a half or so it's been i've been working on this since january so i'm really really really really excited it looks awesome that's what you're wearing now thank you very very much yeah this is just a tip of the iceberg this is just part of it but um monday it gets its own video it's not what is it tell me about it cause you you had this whole story yeah so it's a it's called it's called be a klondike right um and it's just based off like like don't be a [ __ ] boy don't be savage don't be just an awful human being be someone nice like my dog klondike who was just a sweetheart like she's she's loyal she is loving and she pees a little every time she sees me because she's so overjoyed she's just a kind old soul so i'm trying to encourage people to be less of like this whole fuckboy savage culture that's you know popular and like just just be kind like what happened to being like good and decent and kind so like be a klondike that's what's coming up on uh monday nice yeah it looks really good yeah thank you very much good that means a lot of you guys you know really yeah came out great this is honestly i have to say this is the this is the best merch i've ever come out with because it's like stitching i've never had [ __ ] stitching before so this is thank you we're all getting some of these embroidery obviously yeah that's in the crates back backstage i got some obama made my frog gay shirts for you guys yeah yes uh that's what i want i said human embroidery yeah embroidery yes yes that's him and not know what embroidery is adam you got me there um cool what about you um man it's been a while since i made a video so look out for that guys stay tuned i thought that was perfect just wait i'm gonna hit you with one of those soon just you wait are you working on one yeah well i got a little bit uh i'm trying to make them a little more more uh high production value so i'm like putting skits in uh oh no i'm doing some stuff i want to film some stuff with you guys right after this oh yeah yeah yeah you got a little idea yeah yeah i wanted to hit you with we got some really fun stuff that i'm working on nice is your next one a let's go to class or a um or the uh the other um it's a lesson that's it's going to be how to avoid the uh the nsa or how to avoid surveillance great love it already i'm in i'm into it i'm intrigued yeah there's a lot there's a lot going on in it there's going to be some blood some squibs going off squibs squibs everywhere production way up baby it's it's a fake uh like gun hit like shoot like the godfather have you guys ever seen those like like work they're crazy i've worked on a show that had squibs and yeah it's like a strip like they put a vest on you and there's like a strip that's got [ __ ] gunpowder in it wow that's connected to a detonator right and they detonate these things on your chest but they put like a like a metal protective it's almost like being shot it can go wrong but like it can send like shrapnel into you if it does if they put too much gunpowder so these like anytime you see somebody slightly less risky than a real bullet yeah and you really don't get many takes with it either because you gotta yeah it [ __ ] your clothes set the whole [ __ ] thing up yeah you gotta redress so your next video has tons of squibs going yeah yeah and you can tell it's take four because it's already wait you squibbed for real i've no no i i've never actually squibbed but i've been with i've i've been present for a squibbing right and it's fun it's fun to watch but it's like nail-biting because you're like you better [ __ ] get it the first time around or else everybody's not eating right or else we're not eating we're not eating right yeah yeah these squibs are important squibs are important or else i don't get to eat right it makes sense not just me just let it sit yeah digest it all right gotta eat um let's name my memoir so i'm looking forward to our week off although it's not really a week off because we got two videos we have to finish and we have a video on monday we have to record so this weekend already feels like it's not a real vacation oh no but we're going to disconnect all right you're going to bit connect is that where you no we're going to do like a social media detox yeah yeah that's so smart honestly i envy those things sound like in concept like when you think of it in a very abstract way you're like oh why would that ever be necessary and then realize yes it's 100 it's like i catch myself all the [ __ ] times it's like it's awful like i'm not even reading i'm just scrolling to me well we mean either we're talking earlier just we just realized now more than ever like how bad it's gotten for us yeah and that is actually like negatively impacting our life it needs to go back to the way it was before where it was just like this fun little gimmick that you had actually right that's something that it was that for the longest time wasn't it yeah it was when you first get twitter like i didn't have i still don't have an instagram but like uh getting twitter actually or somebody posing as me on instagram i'm watching this [ __ ] that's a dangerous one [Music] yeah but it starts to it does start to become like that's what your eyes want to spend time on and it should be just literally anything else yeah and i agree anything so that's smart you guys should take detox take a week off good as you guys should i'm including emails too that's another thing i don't know if you guys experienced that but my dad emails me emails are [ __ ] up i got to read them he gave me anxiety yeah little business emails yeah we should we should change our passwords and make dan hold them that'd be [ __ ] crazy how quickly would you guys turn into like crackheads yeah not happening you like just attack him [Laughter] [ __ ] password all right just ignore him i got an inbox of like 8 000 unreads you know and it's just it's wonderful the thing is it's not that bad for me but gila has all these teddy fresh emails uh and everything about what though like like just like like like questions and queries about like okay designs production got it she needs to make a decision on or nothing moves oh it's annoying if if i reorder something then we need to get the fabrics again and then if the color doesn't match for example it's a whole thing oh my god yeah all kinds of stuff it's like really like like deep set like i i didn't realize you were that far into the telephoto like like choosing the fabrics and stuff yeah i'm too dipping you guys just need to go to joshua tree take some shrooms there you go there you go yeah let it roll i really just i honestly off the grid i just want some beta blockers yeah go to jobs wonder why i'm asking so many questions can i take beta blockers every day i'll hook you up with some beta blockers where do you get those i don't know a guy where'd you get him the ones you took uh uh no comment well hook me up yeah i got a guy for you there it is dan do you take beta blockers no i know i know someone who does that what the [ __ ] how did i miss this i thought it was more savvy ian just said he does ian you take beta blockers can you get him on the mic dan yeah i wasn't going to out him but i was talking about it yeah but put ian on the mic come over here uh bill cosby is my doctor there it is dr huxtable what's up ian you take beta blockers yeah what the the one he mentioned the propranonol is it a prescription drug well yeah they gave it to me because uh i have that hand tremor and it's supposed to help with that can you talk wait damn get him closer to the mic a little bit yeah yeah but do you notice others so it helps with the hand trimmer but does it it doesn't help with that whatsoever doesn't help with the hand trimmer but does it help with other stuff no i'm freaking out all the time [Laughter] there is no sense you got to take more so so in short it did nothing for you as of right now no it's been about a month and i i haven't felt a lot and so how did i miss this okay you know how we're gonna figure this out and we're gonna take you to a kendrick lamar concert we're gonna get you up on stage and fill you with beta blockers right and we're gonna see how well you perform right all right are you freaking out right now yes yeah i just vomited all right he's the best we're going we're gonna have to double your dosage i want i want to know what's up with beta blockers is this a new thing i don't know how i know this is i mean i remember hearing about it for as long as like like uh like i think kids in my high school would take them before oh like like auditions and stuff god damn but it was it was always that sort of what about xanax whatever happened to xanax why did the world become uh xanax might be too chemical you know i think it might have too much of an effect i think beta blockers are sort of more subtle stuff yeah you don't feel like you're taking something illicit when you take okay it has a very slight effect it's really just for blood pressure you're not going to notice anything everyone at home is getting we got two guys in there who take them though so i might be talking out of my [ __ ] ass wait two guys dan you dan doesn't take oh i thought that's what that was no i was talking about ian wait was the guy you know ian dan yeah [Laughter] all right all right that's it that's all we got guys i guess we'll see you in uh two weeks right yeah it's gonna be a long time i'm gonna miss y'all you guys should all disconnect yeah let's let's all disconnect everyone watching who's up for it and um let's kind of revisit that will be what we'll talk about our first at back and see kind of how that worked out for us i think you guys are gonna look great i'm gonna my my color is gonna come back colors 20 years younger yeah i feel like my age has accelerated a lot recently you guys are gonna you're gonna be like doing like you're not gonna help yourself you're just gonna start doing push-ups in the middle of the podcast just instinctively yeah just because you feel like it am i going to stop ordering pizzas in all the podcasts because i'm not you might know you'll just order more pizzas which is fine because i did a couple push-ups i can eat 10 more slices of [ __ ] lutely that's how it works baby you just get the cheese and the meat right no bread no bread no i get a pizza and no crunch they wouldn't do that pizza ball just a pizza ball that'd be kind of dank wouldn't it yeah it comes in a cup eric andre did a bit about pizza balls it's one of his uh how did i miss that oh is there a new season out no no not yet it's been it's been a while since i heard him promoting it on howard stern oh [ __ ] really maybe it was an old episode he did like some specials where he went to paris for like a bit but that was just like can i say i didn't really like that yeah it wasn't i i'm gonna have to agree with you there like as much as i worship i wanted andre i wanted to like it it wasn't his best not not like yo [ __ ] yeah season five premiere what february 18th we missed it wait what no that can't be right that can't [ __ ] be three months ago eric andre season five premiere oh this is okay no i'm wrong it's eric in paris why would they say that that's oh that is so blue yeah that guy is my [ __ ] like probably top one comedy idol right now i told him at all once [ __ ] you man i'm so jealous like he was but it was i took a selfie with him oh really he did but it was it was not a glorious sorry to interrupt your story it wasn't much of a story i saw him because he knew i recognized him and i was like oh my god that's funny i freaked them out just by looking at them in studio city the other day i saw um um uh nathan nathan nathan fielder yeah with a friend and it took me everything like i again i i cucked out i got a i got what do you [ __ ] say to him like i got a selfie with both of them in the same night i [ __ ] hate you where were you we were you know matt demarco music festival he's a friend of ours he's a sounds familiar okay he's a musician and he invited us to his concert and and eric and nathan are both fans of his but the thing is that mac is gets a little bit of a party animal so we were sipping tequila the whole time like i was trashed yeah and then eric and and nathan roll up oh my gosh first i first nathan come and he's hanging out and i'm like i'm trashed i'm blackout drunk and this is when i was like in the midst of my biggest like i was just a super fan i was i i i loved the guy but i was like in the middle of watching a show and i was like this guy's a [ __ ] genius i love everything he does and so he rolls up with his girlfriend and i'm like i have to say something because he's hanging out with he's not he's hanging out with the same people i'm hanging out with jesus and so i was like hey man i'm a big fan of your show i was like borderline blackout drunk and he's like i don't know eli was more sober than me so yeah he remembers it but he's like man you do youtube that's cool how do you make money like that far out he was asking us about youtube stuff and like it well ethan thinks it was horrible i don't think it was that horrible that horrible like you were describing when you were drunk but i was drunk he was silver and i was just talking about youtube for like 30 minutes and he's like all right cool man bye but the thing is the thing about him is that i couldn't he's he's a lot like he is in his show so i couldn't tell if oh if it was like a bit or not serious or he was making fun of me started breaking plates over is that as you were talking to him wrong guy no no the other guy oh she's like oh you do you gotcha right because that would be very amazing to say i don't know yeah you know what really bothered me yeah because i was drunk i was fanboying which is something i hate and would never do and i've always in my mind imagine what i would be like if i met them because those two guys are like the two comedy people that i actually probably the only two yes and like maybe tim heidecker yeah that i would like fanboy over same and so i was like i had in my mind like being all cool and being like hey nice to meet you but you know that when you've had tequila all night it was so embarrassing ah and then after that we went and eric andre was also hanging out we were walking off and he was walking up and i ran up to him like a little bitch-ass fan girl i was like hey eric can i get a picture and he he's like yeah just don't post on instagram because i don't want people to know that i'm in disguise i still have i've never posted those pictures that i mentioned into guys no in disguise in disguise he told me not yeah i don't think he would uh no he wouldn't care if yeah he wouldn't care if you're into guys or here's you guys got it she's got it like he's incognito i mean in disguise but i was so embarrassing i just i i don't know i cringed so hard when i think about that it was so tragic nah man are you kidding it's not as bad as you think it was tragic i was so embarrassed i'm jealous so embarrassed that i never even posted those pictures so they're just sitting there just to put it somewhere perspective there's probably people who feel the same way about meetings they've had with you yeah you walked away and you were like that was fine that was cool and they walked away they were like are you [ __ ] up no yeah what a fool i am for sure but it doesn't make it any less real sure i get that i get that it's a feeling you'll have to carry with you yeah i will carry that you're great that cross forever but i feel bad any time i i get drunk the next day when i think about it it always seems like yeah it was so cringy probably yeah you know oh yeah i think that's just a universal instinctual feeling oh man well i mean until you get them on the show and then you know then who's laughing they get to see who the [ __ ] down dude i can absolutely imagine that no i feel like i'm dead forever now they'll be like you [ __ ] ass fanboy i'm not coming out here i remember you like they're gonna no offense they're not going to remember this youtube [ __ ] ass fanboy fanboy from another loser you will have them on this mark my words you will have one of them if not both of them on the show at some point wow i can i can absolutely are you kidding i can see it when they're when they're suing you like eric was on hot ones obviously right yeah that's true that would be a weirdo about something they serve me the papers that's a weird prank but now if they ever come on the show now i'm going to be like do you remember you have to bring it up i was drunk and they won't they will not remember no then it'll be a really good thing then it will be awkward by the way how many times have we ended this podcast today i was like we're still alive yeah we are still this is this is probably the best part too yeah i was just thinking that this is probably the best part oh now they're now you want me to do you want to read a section from your book what is the line the uh years ago years ago when i tried it that was nice years ago they tried to what if that's the whole book this is last over and over again do you like would you like to read from your book i am that's how my book goes let's be finished right why are you interrupting years ago years ago they tried to blossom man there's like two blank pages you know if that guy had some beta blockers on hand he probably would have i think so yeah i think beta blockers just helped him out whole podcast is just a three-hour commercial for beta blocks what's up dr eric here check out the neongrizzly.com store for all the hottest internet combination beta blockers they're illegal are beta blockers illegal nah i mean if i do them they are because he doesn't have interest in beta blockers in why are you so in if you and if you get like extra like pills like every time we do a podcast i tell you about something that like like there's bug chasers that's the one that sticks like that it really turned into a big thing yeah yeah the bug chasing that's that's a funny bit and like i think the thing is like you have to figure out what avenue because it's really not a funny thing it's like a sad weird like yeah crazy thing that people do there is like a a trajectory to take to find the center of that joke they're nailing all over that oh i mean i'm not gonna disagree no but yeah they're [ __ ] away i mean there's nothing hilarious about aids well they'll say it like that really god goddamn it am i right um ian if you get like extra beta blockers can we sell it as h3 official merch because i know a lot of people out here want to try it put a little teddy fresh logo on them like they're [ __ ] seat belts we'll we'll tr we'll upsell like a drug deal like a hundred for a pill and we'll call it ian's beta block ian's beta blockers yeah i'll cut you in hand but not a lot i mean that's that's a stupidly good deal better take idiot well i mean yep shkreli's in jail so there's which means there's a hole in the market a big hole in the market big opening he's not watching right frank he's in prison watching on what a brick there's just some guy drawing he's like i'm watching tv oh my god this is my tv gerald [ __ ] uh [ __ ] man that guy's in prison for real uh wasn't that so great how like what are you gonna make bill cosby oh what if bill cosby quail is martin australia yeah then charges him for it right yeah that's gonna cost you a kiss and two cigarettes both very wealthy i can't do a good you know justin roiland does the best bill cosby yeah he does yeah he does he's good with the voice the house of cosby's right the one time i ever met him i was like dude house of cosby's is the funniest [ __ ] thing i think i've ever seen and i just had to tell them mm-hmm that was my eric andre story i walked away i was like i don't think i impressed him too much he probably enjoyed that no isn't that like isn't that funny that that is our instinctual reaction to someone we respect we tell them why we like what they mean like when i saw pat and oswald like for a brief second one night i told him like i just want to tell you i i [ __ ] think your stand-up is brilliant i love the i just love you the vocabulary you use blah blah and and it's something like like why do we it's like word vomit we have to tell them everything we love about that person and their craft how much of that is like so that we can go to our friends and and and make it sound like it was much better i i don't know because i haven't like i i think it's just i think it's less of a of a humble brag and much more of a admission of like i have to tell you like what you mean to me i don't know like no you're right there's something if i run into larry david if i would say anything is that is that how you respect larry david you would you would but you would say by the way the people who come up to me on the street the ones that i appreciate the most are the ones who they don't ask for a selfie or anything they just say hey whatever like you said this is what it means thanks totally appreciate a guy screamed salvia eric at me out of a car as it was passing by how did that feel it took me a second to like because they they were coming up to a red light and the guy went solve you eric you know i was just crossing the street what the [ __ ] that is and then i was like i don't recognize you and they drove off it's like that was a fantastic response and they just peeled away how'd that feel it felt great it really emboldened me for the rest of the day i went i got everything on my list done i need someone you know what good friends i think we should set up something where yeah set up like a 2 p.m drive-by something like that for each other we just lift each other up that's all we do we just scream some meme you know at each other that we're known for off done me me big boy right right yeah right some [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] it's like the joke is to try to get it the most ridiculous person possible so like some dude like in a [ __ ] mack truck right passing by it's like me me big boy it's like oh you know he doesn't watch the channel right right right right big fan right it's like sorry you're 70. all right all right so this time it's over for real right oh it feels like it i love lord of the rings this was a real conclusion lord of the rings what do you like about your favorite characters no no no no no no no no all right we're not going with that we're not going there i almost took the bear no you did not there's no almost you [ __ ] did i almost as long as i have this thing in front of my face i'm going to keep talking just like kanye yeah this yeah just oh [ __ ] yeah wow we haven't circled the [ __ ] out of these until we start sounding like that um well we're turning although we're turning the cameras off doesn't mean that we're not turning up ourselves good one to you everyone at home i wish you all would turn up this weekend but safely and use those beta blockers responsibly because they are illegal if you don't have a prescription for them apparently that's right although apparently it doesn't do anything i've asked everyone that i know has taken it and they all say it doesn't do anything so i don't know it's basically just a b vitamin b-vitamin i mean i'm i'll be your beta blocker in life i'll just massage your shoulders before a thing and be like you got this man okay i absolutely see you doing that a beta blocker it almost sounds like like it's making you more alpha like that's why you left it blocks all those cucks in your bloodstream and it makes you exactly [ __ ] alpha it makes you a chat it just chats you up dude yeah if you eat soy you bleed out of your eyes all right don't eat soy on beta blockers right ironically that's what soy boys take [ __ ] uh beta blockers yeah alpha makers is what they should call them are we seriously not ending all right all right guys have a great weekend we'll see you in two weeks detox everybody remember look up from your cell phones look up cheers goodbye love y'all thanks for watching bye now you

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 6,055,011

Keywords: jacksfilms, Internet Comment Etiquette with Erik, internet comment etiquette, erik, jacks films, h3h3 podcast, podcast, h3h3productions podcast, h3h3, ethan and hila, ethan klein

Id: OcQl2ra57ME

Length: 189min 4sec (11344 seconds)

Published: Sat May 05 2018