Guests making Conan laugh #4 | COMPILATION

what is your take on our president-elect wow elect trump what's your opinion i when i moved here to america i was right in the middle of the campaign and i kept hearing uh america great again great again let's make america let's make america and i was like if it's not that great they should have told us before we moved i mean because i think it's great and i love america yeah um but i know i was like maybe they should put a people in embassies american embassies all around the world and they would you know warn people when you come to apply for a visa they would tell you you know i know you want to move to america but just so you know now it's not that great you know we're working on it to bring it back but it's like it's a restaurant or something i should tell you not right now come back yeah or maybe it's like when you go get shopping and then the salesman is like i should not tell you but it's going to be on sale in two weeks come back i'm back one time i was in a movie theater with my buddy and and we were sitting there in a trailer it was a big summer movie it was like some action movie and they were they showed a trailer for one of the movies that i was in and i was trying to make my buddy laugh and we were in the theater and after the trailer ended i just yell out cause like it's a dark theater no one knows i'm there they don't know it's you yeah and just so i just go i'm seeing that right yeah and my buddy's kind of laughing kind of like you're an idiot and then um the guy in front of me who has no idea it's me just goes yeah maybe on an airplane and it was like one of the most humbling um like funny moments i was like yeah no i suck i know how about how many how do you feel about the films this year the films that were nominated ooh i i liked them i loved phantom thread i thought that was fabulous i uh that break great paul thomas anderson i loved uh the shape of water which brings new meaning the idea she'll have the fish and he was great he did a wonderful job do you have a scene where you and and you you and him embrace yeah lots of making out oh for god's sake nothing but making out all right it's like nine and a half weeks but carrot top we were doing wow i gotta check out that movie is it called nine and a half seconds it's like he's premature ejaculator you know you know what happened this is what happened you know what happened he said nine and a half seconds and i'm looking at him because i know there's more then i wait and wait and i see the glimmer in the eye and then bang i thought you were going to crack or but no but uh what's the movie gonna be called i know what it's gonna be yeah what's that if it's got carrot top in it you know what a good name for it be what's that norm box office poison [Applause] the girl sitting to your left is in the movie i'm gonna go see it how do you scare everybody else away no i love this girl i would see any movie with this girl in it she's a beautiful lady and a talented nice talk show guest as evidenced by her appearance on our rival show all right well there's this two-hour season finale of melrose place there's this movie coming out yes title undetermined at this point chairman of the board oh all right do something with that you freak i i've got the board to spell b-o-r-e-d [Applause] [Music] so uh have i not gotten laid in a while or is ken burns super hot [Laughter] [Applause] that's just the setup why is lightning coming out of your crotch oh i have a dog and he's uh she uh the new one is such a bright spot i will say though i can just i hate to say this i can tell she's been abused before just because i you know i did it and so i can just tell you when you know that you did and she knows that i did it that's horrible yeah i gotta stop she's very kickable she's so small oh no [Laughter] yes baby grab me by the equator i want you to do something no we're not gonna no no we're gonna we stop that we're not gonna actually no we're not gonna have sex with these balls right now on television conan i have a feeling your carbon footprint is huge you're responsible for one of i think one of the most compelling fight scenes of all time you did a terrific movie called eastern promises and there is a fight scene that takes place in asana where you're not wearing any clothes and it is the most harrowing fight scene and if you're a guy you're watching it because knives are involved and you're in the most vulnerable state any man can be in and it is terrifying but i i that was a less comfortable naked moment that's for sure yeah that was exactly you standing in a bus with a cup of coffee saying it's a penis deal with it not so bad this that looked like it was incredibly brutal scene to shoot it was but it was i mean it's david cronenberg so you kind of do whatever he says yeah you do when he says take off your clothes and fight two men with knives in a sauna i know it wasn't in the script but just got a little surprise for you today what are your interests i'm a deep thinker i explore [Laughter] when your job in the in a role or in a sketch is to be a prick it's so liberating it's fun it looked like you were having i bet you had a good time i didn't have to not say some of the things i think of you know have you ever thought like idiot at the end of a sentence but you don't say it like it's right over there [Laughter] were you flipping out the day like when you met did you flip out did you really that i remember she told me to go see that movie monster remember that movie with charlize theron yeah and everybody was saying how uh oh my god it was unbelievable like they literally blamed guys that she was a serial killer yeah you know what i mean like when you saw the jeffrey dahmer movie it wasn't like ah somebody shoved the tuna fish sandwich up my ass and i confuse people with food so i like did he make like a big excuse for him you know she was a psycho killing people and she should have died but i'm like watching it feeling guilt do they ever take responsibility for their actions even when they're murdering people it's somehow our fault it's it's unreal why would having a tuna fish sandwich shoved up your butt make you want to eat people because another man did it right so it's another person so you equate it i don't know sex with food i figured i figured out the idea where but i know is she laughed when i said it she was dying laughing and kind of saw my point and um i always hate when she says to me she'll just be like you know i just don't see where is that coming from where is that coming from it's just like honey how many childhood stories do i have to tell you before you follow the breadcrumbs to the psycho that you're married i mean did you ever take a psychology class like you didn't see this coming right that's what it is it's not that she says that i'm a jerk it's just the nerve to be surprised [Laughter] um no do not tell kids about the zodiac killer all right even though he left plenty of clues he was never brought to justice he's probably still out there dreaming up his next creative murder i'm wiggy bear all right don't don't just stop it i don't want to hear any more about it he was just thinning out the herd yay we should thank him no no we shouldn't thank him that's terrible you're a terrible toy for children all right if i could hold a gun i'd kill you right now all right we'll take a look morality is an illusion nietzsche was right don't don't quote me bear we'll take a break we'll be right what the universe is random and absurd all right we'll take a break when we come back sorry one too many yeah

Channel: 4st 7lb

Views: 1,361,190

Keywords: laugh, conan, guests, comedy, bill burr, john mulaney, flula borg

Id: uG8x11CpPhk

Length: 9min 49sec (589 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 11 2021