Greg Davies reveals his unusual biggest regret

now it's time for my guess you know him from man down taskmaster and all of his brilliant stand-up tours please welcome the fantastic [Music] nobody's actually been let you're literally touching me from that is kind of yes right two boys for new infant age groups comfortable touching each yeah it's like this is how the Greeks did business isn't it the elder came on sets my stuff yeah and bombed in yeah alright I'm alright thank you back on - I mean lads aside professional good thanks let's get back pocket hours of this right said we haven't even got one question no you're you're currently traveling the UK with your new stand-up show magnificent piece yeah you magnificent that you might going I'm loving it it's brilliant I don't understand why anyone ever moans about it really when you hear it yeah I've heard comics saying that how stressful it is it's not you get driven to attain you talk nonsense in front of people who've paid to hear you talk yes and then in my case I drink two full bottles of dry Rose a wine such as your manner you make sounding an alcoholic yeah really close I mean you know I'm talking about that now I'm 11 dates into a 55 date tour so realistically I'm not going to survive there's a question for you all right lots changed since your last tour you always get scared watching the news yeah I do Russell yeah I'm actually trying to avoid the news because it is petrified in it I don't admire you having to make it funny because it's terrifying you know literally the biggest penis in the world is in charge of the world terrifying in this he's absolutely [ __ ] funny anymore you must avoid think about the life out of it yeah which you can't see the comedy in it it wouldn't increasingly know yes because he is the most powerful man in the world and it and ultimately he might send people to their death you know and he's just he's just a reality star is out of his depth I think that it's it's Republicans need to start more forcibly yeah getting rid of him you know is really frightening and dangerous but it didn't get worried that the world's gonna wet yeah what would you do if the world was gonna rent I guess what I'm asking if you had a bunker who's in it a lot of thought you're thinking about it I mean the sensible answer would be you know the people I love I suppose but then I'd be taking them down with me so hudley Tony Hadley just you and Hadley there's two other spaces and off the top my head Russ me and Tony happy the problem I have always up with a bunker situation is if you're gonna be down there for a long while everyone's got needs sexual name sexual means and I okay let me rethink the Hadley thing yeah just gonna be that lovely moment were you singing go back through each other and then a week in where you have to go Tony can you look that way cuz I'll grab a tug like just be hard breaks go on the show will this gonna show yeah maybe talking about asking Tony Hadley - Shirley's back well I won't close myself off if he doesn't go on when we go he'll certainly go on the Internet yeah I'm just gonna want to think about with you specifically is cuz Hugh Heffner died this week Oh kind comparison thank God in that there's a narrow sexual mystery about you oh sure there is yeah but do me like it's kind of like you look like a man a bear of sexual several ex-girlfriends laughing heartily though there's nothing mysterious about it mate oh really yeah but have you never been have you ever been to the mansion no of course I thought it'd be fun coming on a mate show I mean because I would I would wear pajamas and a dressing game all the time if I could yeah I mean that if there was acceptable I would have you never been to like a wild what's the wildest part because you look like a blogger spinning some crazy shindigs really mate really I suppose the the craziest the craziest party I can remember is I was trying to impress a girl and I drank an entire bottle of vodka neat and then I sat on a lawn crying all night [Applause] that's not especially sexually mysterious is it nobody's evocative is powerful and the only thing is well he went deaf from taking too much by Accra did you know that when death yeah yeah god we've been we've been set up the wrong path all these years yeah well that's what being it very much and you go deaf that's what they said yeah have you ever taken viagra no I have it Russell okay I'm sure I'm on the cusp of it but I haven't I'll tell you what my friend who will remain nameless until after the record okay oh really yeah you've met him yeah my friend he ordered some viagra online and then he banging to without without telling his wife and what he didn't know is that one of the possible side effects of Viagra is you can go bright purple and he said he just smashed them and then was sitting with his wife who he hadn't told watching telly yeah and she was just watching talent she turns him and when she cuz you're purple that's what I'm gonna know I'm sure now I think I've just got a bit too hot but he said he went to the bathroom when he was bright purple like something from Willy Wonka you know sure he passed that office too much right Bainer in it she was shouting upstairs he you all right nice but now I'm finally was on Google if you could change one law in the UK what would it be Jib would think about that do you ever you ever get sad with our country yeah of course yeah yeah I think one of the laws I change won't be popular in this room because I don't think that young people should be allowed to go to university until f30 techne can be very sensible freshers yeah no I just have fun I just don't think anyone goes to university and learns I think if you want to you know bang each other and get pissed you on your own time banging pissed because surely University is an area where you share listen this is the bang get pissed area yeah well I can do it they can do a menial job and then they can meet up in a park and get pissed and bang each other so it's a rather than university you're advocating dark no no I'll tell you otherwise you can't all right change I would make it legal and I want to make this clear because the animal cruelty people would be on to me it's in self-defense only I think you should be able to [ __ ] a swan if some see the postman for my tour it's me standing in a lake and the reason I'm I want to introduce this law is I had to keep running out in between the photo getting taken running out of the lake because there was a swan after me most of the crew were that's supposed to be there making the picture look lovely we're spent trying to sort of reason with this swamp I mean what I would start oh god a swan is one of three birds that has a penis has a penis yeah [Applause] gucchi my swans we planned them a [ __ ] Lake who are the other with penises I think I mean you and Amy you thinking into [ __ ] absolute [ __ ] species I'd say what when a timer goes you've got the job did you know that no I'd yeah I've got clackers they're just male and female birds have I've got both got a thing called a cloaca which is just an opening and they just pop them together exactly like that yeah that's why so many trolleys end up in in lakes Greg I was told you're gonna ask me what my biggest regret is oh really yeah okay well let's put that into a wait so if you were if the world was gonna end yeah what would be your biggest regret every winter when it first goes cold I'd pull a muscle in my left shoulder rustle and I'm reminded of the fact that when I was 13 I tried to suck my own [ __ ] maybe this will encourage everyone you

Channel: Russell Howard

Views: 2,232,618

Keywords: The Russell Howard Hour, Russell Howard's Good News, Russell Howard's Stand Up Central, Russell Howard and Mum: USA Road Trip, funny, comedy, comedian, stand up comedy, greg davies, man down, cuckoo, in betweeners

Id: VD7k8e-9yWw

Length: 11min 26sec (686 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 24 2017