Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier. And welcome to "Golfing Over It with Alva Mah-ho" Now this is a shameless rip. I will be the first to admit it. It is probably... an absolute shameless rip or copy... of "Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy." Even the name suggests that it is trying to emulate it as closely as possible. Now, does that mean...that that matters? Depends on who you ask but what does matter is people probably do say or think or are sure of that this game...is infuriating but probably not for the same reasons, considering I'm going to be golfing up a mountain instead of not getting up a mountain at all and screaming in rage. Don't expect me to get super duper angry on this one. I'm probably going to stay as calm as possible because I doubt that I'm actually going to be taking this so seriously that it actually makes me mad, but we will see upon the first... whatever I'm doing... Mmm...I hate that already. ok, that's not so bad. I've seen videos of this, not the top of it, but you can hit it... Ah, you can hit it while it's in midair which... is probably not gonna be the most considerably good thing? ehh Okay... So you can hit it when it- Oh my God, it is a-- mmh MMH mh eeEH Right, okay.. You don't know that about me and I don't know that about you. So don't assume anything of me and I won't assume anything of you. Can I already say that I don't like -- --your voice! Sounds like you're too close in my ear for my comfort... Uh-huh Okay so, so far not so bad... It-It's really not the worst thing I have ever done in the world. Oh.. Okay... Alright, sure whatever you say. You're not Bennett Foddy and frankly that's a good thing. Okay... [voice crack] Not so bad, LEEEGHNUUUAAH not so ba-- ohh... Not so bad as far as I can say... It does that same thing with the controls where the um... Oh boy... Do I have to get on top of the shovel to be able to get up here? ah th-there's no way in hell that I'm gonna be able to do that... Oh bo- Oh no... Oh no.. Ahhh! So the longer you... the longer you hold it after you've been hit... the bigger the circle charges... Uh-oh HHHOOoOoOoOoOH! Whoa.. Hey, not so bad. Not so bad! Not-naaa-ooo That's...that's worse hup Stop...STOP yeah... uh-oh [exhales] ohhhh no-- nOOOOOOOOOO!! *sigh* [through teeth] Uh-huh...Okay Uh-huh... eeeeEEEH *sigh* *sigh* [laugh] huh...heh Yeah li- oh no Little bit of both, buddy! Little bit of both! Also, it's an interesting perspective j- Ah fucking hell It's an interesting perspective just to h- AAaaaoookay INTERESTING PERSPECTIVE JUST TO HAVE LIKE the...the... the dialogue mimic the EXACT dialogue from the beginning of the... Getting Over It with Bennett Fooboo It's not THAT bad. Like, I get it This...this beginning is gonna be rough for me because I'm learning... the capabilities of what I can do But that DOESN'T me- Oh fuck you That doesn't mean that it's bughh That doesn't mean Oooh fuck you That doesn't mean that it's bad. It just me- Ohh fuck you It just means that it's annoying There we go Just light taps. Sometimes you need a hard tap! Sometimes you just need a light, itty-bitty tap. There ya... nnnnNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! There ya go. Yeah just the lightest of TOOches. Hup! Annnd get up there. Oh yeah. See how.... gooOOOood? Nooooo.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [rage building] I'm learning it though! I am, in fact, learning it! Cause it's getting better. It's the double - the double - maybe there's a triple hit possible Do you think that's a thing? I mean, as long as it's white, right? HOOO yes! Yes baby, you can! No, NOT...LIKE that! Ohh my G-, ohh my God. Heyyyy, okay! We made it back up here, finally. HOPPAH! okay, alright. But it's okay cause we're trying to make it up here No... Very close Getting- ugh, getting better... I just can't bounce there too hard. A-HA, the triple jump! OH BABY, A TRIPLE!! Let me just try to get up on this racket... Just a oh... just a little up on the racket is all I really need. Because if can get up on the racket, that's where I probably should be? If I wanted to make the jump more precisely? Oh yeah, okay, so when we go here HOOP! No, I di- OAOAOAOAAAOAH! Nailed it. Okay, I almost did the exact same thing that I did last time, but not this time! Because I'm not an idiot ooohaaah... Okay... this is... this is fun [gasp of imminent death] Very scary! Okay... HUP, HOPAAH Yeah, yeah, yeeeaaahh! Okay. Hup, boink! don't donk D'OHHHH! NICE HAIR Nice anime hair.
[Horsune Miku according to the Steam Trading Cards] hoop! No! Aaah! Oh my GAAHD! You're very scary. hup, WHAP, NO! NO! -sigh of relief- hup No no NO NO NO NO NO NOO! [last vestige of joy leaving Mark's body] [exhale] [grumpled exhale] [raspy exhale] haaaa [exhale] Oh... [blows frustrated raspberries] [even more frustrated raspberries] No, no, no, no, NO! Oh my God... Nononono no no no NO! This is gonna be a son of a bitch. And I agree with that! The controls, you know, it's- it's- it's not unknowable it's- it's predictable, it is- he is absolutely right; you just gotta tooch it with the right scooch and you've got magic happening you've got magic shooting out of your ball You just need to- ookay- you just need to toochy-scootch it just the right way. Okay, I got to scoochy-tooch up there, I gotta toochy-scooch UP there I gotta toochy-scooch up there I've got- nooo I've got to toochy-scooch UUUP THERE I'VE GOT TO TOOCHY-SCOOCH up there. no, to... Ah, good, perfect tooch WAH! HEY, look at me. boink, yeeh-AAaaww, scawy, scawy, scawy hup! no... HO MY GOD, I'm on the eagle! I just gotta get on the L'PHANT! Oh my God, no no no no no no NO NO Okay, we're fine. Hup! No, no, NOOOO! Oh, SHUT the FUCK up! Oh, fuck off. Somehow, he's more annoying. I don't know how he's managed to do it, but somehow he's wa-- he's been able to come up with a way of talking to me that's just even more infuriating than Bennett Fotty ever could've been. Phew! The act of pulling it back each time, after each subsequent one, is q u i t e d i f f i c u l t 'cause it's like I don't pull enough Maybe I don't need to pull it much at all Oh, I guess I don't Right, it's not about pulling Yeah, okay, it's not about how hard you pull, right? Yeah, it's not. I was mislead into thinking that you'd have to pull it back harder. It's only based in time. Ye- NO, NO, NO, YES, YES, YES Oh, this is like "Golf with Your Friends" all over again except it's even worse No, NOoooh my God No! Eugh! No, no, NO! God fuck-a-ducky dammit! What's over here, is there anything over here? Just a goddamn tree? Is that what it is? Is that what we're dealing with? What happens if I go over the goddamn tree, huh? -groan- Why do I want to go up this tree? I'm not sure. Hup! What is this? What is- what is- what the fuck is this? What is this? What am I looking at? Some kind of giant- oh, it's like a tornado-dick, whatever it is, I don't care Alright Let's go back up, let's go back up the other way yay ya-- The thing is, like, it's like easy to- just like in golf It's very easy to do OhhhhUUUUUUUUN NNNNECESSARY HUUUMMM MOVEMENT force Force is the word I was looking for. It's very easy to apply unnecessary force Ah! No! Nooo... okay... It's not so bad. It's not as bad as going ALL the way down Cuz', I mean, I can predictably get-- ba-- No! NO! NOOO!! GOD FUCK-A-DUCKING F-- I DIDNT DO ANY-- RIGHT CLICK GOES TO THAT? Okay... easy shot Yeah, just gotta FALL in the pocket... that's all I gotta do just like on that elephant! I just gotta not over-shoot it! FALL in the tusks... like a gentle... ...summer breeze and now i just gotta fall in the tail! eAsY auUUUGH -orst thing i ever-- oh-- even better! even-- look! they're touching! *gasp* they're touching I went too far... oh... I love all of your HAIR It's so [deep voice] preeeetty... even YOU, Naruto oH MY GOD WHERE AM I- Oh... I don't like the underwater-ness of this please tell me that I can't- please tell me that, on a rare occasion, I wont be falling through the little gap there... that's something that I would [not?] like VERY much okay, just gOTTA GET-- in the TOUCHIE SCOOTCHES Yeah ohh sooo saaaafe DorAaAaAaAaAah ononoNONO OKAY ALRIGHT I WAS CAUGHT NO! oh my God...okay I was caught...there we go just gotta...yeeahh. like a- like a suMMER BREEeEeeEze in it- oh God I'm in it... okay. OH there's the... -chuckles- I guess this is land and sea level and that's... HEE..okay. GETTING GOOD! Made a lot of progress in a very sh-VEH! -inhales- nnooooOOOOOooo...very short amount of time.. eeh, ooh, ooh, OOH, OOH, OOH, WHY are you still MOVING...??? -realizing his future- okay let's do this again very... CAAALM- euueugh why did you go that way? Oh the little divet rivet on the boat. That's fun that that is there Okay...alright... Easy peasie... There. NOOO NOOO WHERE ARE YOU GOOOohhh.. shut your-- You don't know that. I don't even care about the top of the mountain I'm n- I AM just playing I am not, I am not concerned about getting to the top of the mountain That's NOT my concern. Do you think that's my concern? My concern is trying to beat this game with my sanity intact! nnn-why? No No No HYEEAAYY Back on the horse again [sarcastic Ha Ha Ha] I'm sure that's what it's really supposed to be Ooooo ooohhhhh... Any fucking day now-ANY FUCKING D̹ͪ̄͛̈́̍͌̂̿A͈̱̔̽͊̽̃͛ͥ͢͞Y̵̤̯͉͍̽ͪ̀̐ͮ̉ͪ͋̈́̀ ͔͉̞̻̐̏́̍ͬ̓ͥ͝͞N̳͈̠̥̬̒ͥ̓̋̽͝͞O̵͇̜̠̣̞͕͔͋̾̈́ͥ͟W̷̴̷̱̭̦̮̗̱̤ͪͯ͊!̴̞͈͉̘̠͓̥̒́ No no no no no NOOOO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT JUST STOP ROLLING fucking hell... d-ffff, fucking S͈̜͍͓̫̒̏͛̍ͮ͐ͭ̽ͣ͘͟Ṭ̰̼̭̗̰͍̳̋͑̈́ͥ̌ͯ̕͡ͅO̐ͨͧ̽̏͛̐͌͝͏̣͖̺̼̤P̢̘̖͍̞̱͚̦̓̂̓̀̇̃!̸̿ͧ҉̦̦̪͉͉͈͡ͅ Oh my God, if you I sw- I swear to FUCKING
[pounds table to emphasize] OH MY GOD! Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?! OH MY GOD!! Ohh my God, I can't get up this now. A- WH- I can't get up THIS! THIS! I can't get up THIS? oh my God It doesn't matter what I do it's light or hard I can't get up THIS. This ALWAYS HAPPENS, every single FUCKING time I play ANY SORT OF DIFFICULT G-ANY GAME, PERIOD, If I do any FUCKING GAME It starts out tooootally fine I'm fine everything's-- Everything starts out totally fucking fine And then for some reason skill just goes completely out the window Nice x3 Okay, I'm back in the saddle-Oh [quiet panic] Oh stop again I'm baaaack in the saddle again Among my pEEople
[referencing the E meme, are we?] That's so scary I know that's a safe spot but I don't trust that to always be a safe spot For some reason For some reason, cause I know how gaaaames like to dick I have this weird feeling that it's gonna suddenly decide on a random chAAA AAHHH-AHHH-AAANCE *intense heartbeat* Yes. Right in the pocket *le gasp* *le exhale* Okay Just like that Baby, just *like* thaaat, CAREFUL Careful now, care-CAREFUL! CAREFUL NOW! CAREFUL Now. Okay N-No no no n-okay Okay Just go a li-- NO, Oh okay NO PLEEEEEEEAASE. Let's just go back, I bail. *le gasp* I BAIL, I BAIL, I BAIL, I BAIL! [exhales quietly] OOH! Yes, there is I don't care I really don't care Oh, I- like I said, I don't care There's a cannon pointed at her? Well, then that seems like it's her fault for living in a- ohhh [laughs] Well you know I'm gonna touch the cannon I'm- I'm really gonna tooch that cannon So-uh, Sorry! Sorry Alvatross [boom] Oooh Well, poor Alvatross Poor Alvie ALVIEEEE Uh, well, that's too bad
[F to pay respects] That looks like it could be bad The spikes there look like bad news bears aaaaah nooookay ah, ok I don't know, man Uh-huh Uh-h-HOHOHOHO-AH, AH! NOOO N O I'm in unquestionably uncomf-territory right now And I don't l- do I have to like yee, that seems scary That seems really scary, but I-I'll-- Noo-ah AHHHH [almost relief] AAaah [three exhaled "ah"] I'm not cut out for this I'm--NOOOOOOO NOOOO
[happiness dying] NOOOOOOOO
[soul dying] [fast propeller spinning sound] Wha- [backwards whistle "eeeewwwmmp"] Thank you? Was that the ghost of Alvarez? You came to save mEEE Okay, I don't kn- No no no no. WHY?! AHHHHHH No Okay let's just scoot-yeah You know, let's just go right there, that's perfectly fine NononononoNo IT WON'T SAVE ME TWICE! NOOOO, I WAS FINE!! How did that happen? I told you those spikes were bad news I told you those spikes were bad news Okay, gently, ooh yeah NO NO NO NOOOO Uh- Noooo Noooo uhnonono Thank you Thank you for that ugh, fffffffFFFFF FOR FUCK SAA-HA-HA-AAKE! No, No, that 's gonna go all the way DOWN GOOD FUCKING GOOOODDDD!! GOOD FUCKING GAAA- That's going all the way I can't get on this horse anymore I just can't, I can't get on the horse again For some reason I can't get on the horse I remember before I was able to get on the horse totally fine But somehow, that all gonna- this is gonna roll for fuckin' ever Man, there's, there's-there's a legitimate reason why I can't do rage games. Is it, like it, it doesn't just make me angry It makes me *le breathe* so fucking miserable It's not just anger, it's just misery It's pain, it's PAINFUL for me to do this It's an itchy all-over-body feeling to do these games it just makes everything uncomfortable And then for hours, for HOURS, and HOURS and hours afterwards I can't do anything And the worst part is Because I don't like to give up Because I don't ever like to give up I just keep fucking doing it it's a vicious cycle that feeds in and it it's NOT something that I do because HOOOOOHHHH FUCK YAY! A rage game, people can laugh at me being angry FUCK THAT! When have I ever done anything like that for YOUR benefit?! It's just, it's a fuckin'-- oh I.. *le sigh* [fast hearbeat over sine tone] I wanna be very fucking clear about this This is not about you This is NOT about you This is not about you at all This is nnNOTHING to do with you This is NOT a GODDAMN thing to do with you I'm the one who wants to beat it I am the one who wants to make progress I am the ONE who is UPSET because I AM LEARNING ABOUT THIS GAME, and it's not- *le sigh* this fuckin... Somehow we've made it back up here Not a hundred percent sure how But I'm not gonna question it in the corner pocket No, no please PLEASE, OH MY GAAAWD Alright, let's just do this nice and easy style No pressure, no pressure, no pressure This is not that difficult Okay, that's fine Nooo pressure, no pressure, no pressure No nonono NO NO OH MY GAAWD OOOHHHH- Good thing I went for the the extra PAH-wer [quietly] ok... Cause I don't understand why those were bi-UH Eh, NO NAH Some of those shots were bigger but they were real quick and I-I-I'm not sure I'm fahh- NO NO! NO! What the FUCK?! hohhh ♫thank you, I guess♫
[in the style of Jingle Bells] ♫Thank you, I guess♫ ♫Thank you, I guess, I guess.♫ Hokay No NAHH! NO! NO! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! OOHHH, NNNN N͇̺͌ͤͩͮ̅̉̆̈́̓͟͞O̵̳͎̾ͩͩ͛̈͘O̧͍̓̌̅Ǫ̝̰̳̝̮̇̉ͬ̂ͥ̾ͨ̔̒͢ͅ No no no no no--oh my Goooddd NO NO NOOO GAWD- Ugh, I can't do this Oh nope- that's, that's all the way, that's all the way, that's- *le breathing* News update: It stopped making me angry because I just don't care anymore And what the fuck does it matter We're all gonna die anyway, so... Fuckin' love this This is my favorite thing to do Yeah This is how I wanted to spend my day Yep, there we go Oh yeah, no This is great Mkay hit the ceiling No Here we go again,
YAAAAAAAY, YAAAAY, YAY, YAY, WOOOO CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW MUCH FUN I'M HAVING?! WHOA WHOA WHOA SOMEONE STOP ME, SOMEONE CALL THE FUN POLICE! I'M JUST HAVING TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THIIING! Ohh BOYYY I'M SO HAPPY TO BE ALIIIIVE! Oh man, I'm glad I was born in this year where this game was made and I get to plaaayy it. Can you [lisp]see how lucky I am? YAyyyy YAYYY OH BOY YAAAYYYYY YAA-- WAHOOOO NOW I KNOW WHY MARIO SHOUTS WAHOO! There we go, just bypass the horse. Just completely.... noo. Nevermind Ohh- Again! OHHHH WELL GREAT. GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT. FUCKING GREAT. A- gu-gu-gain. A-OHHH WELL. JUST S- DONT EVEN BOTHER, DONT EVEN BOTHER. It doesn't fucking matter. Every-oh I did it...again. ok, good WHY ARE YOU ohh my God, you don't release. Sometimes it just doesn't relEEEASE. It just doesn't It didn't see- it didn't there! It didn't release it! Why didn't you release it? Stop-stopp. Just st- oh NO, NOOO! NOOO-HO-HOOOO! nnnooaww There, that's not bad. That's pretty good, actually. Okay Alright. I don't know what it wants from me, but we've made forward progress, which is a God...damn delight. Oh, now you're gonna start talking to me, huh? Ok, which way am I going here? Am I tryin' to get in the little scootch? nnugh, tiny, tiny hit, tiny hit, tiny hit... [gasp] no... no....no... WHA? Ok, I just completely bypassed it 'cause I didn't wanna deal with it. ok, easy enough... Just gotta get in the buttcrack of the planets here. Looks like we can actually AVOID IT! Which is nice. Don't know what's up with the DNA. You know what? This looks like it's going to be a SON of a bitch. HOW...in THE hell? Oh I see, we're just supposed to go around it, we're not supposed to be looking at it. ok. I don't know what th- oh that's the inner workings of a cell, ok. I have a funny feeling it's getting to dicey moments, but I wanna try to get up on that cell, and I know I can do that. Yep, I knew I could do it. Easy enough. This actually isn't all that hard. This actually is surprisingly easy. nnnnnnn don't prove me wrong. 'kay, I just gotta... there's, there's... whooooa, too much, too much, too- scootch too much. NoooOOOO OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! [inhale of imminent death] okay... I gotta be careful or I'm-I'm liable to lose everything if I get cocky... Which I have a habit of doing at the worst of times okay... Alright. That's easy enough. I'm on a skellington, which is nice. I don't know where I am in the grand scheme-- do you have hair as well? Ohh you dooo, you do. And a friend. A PART of a friend anyway... Alright, so this isn't the worst thing in the world. oh no, nonononono, ohh nonono... No nonono Not as much as you think. No, ohh hhh [sigh of great relief] i don't care what you have to say philosophically-wise. So that- left is harder? And right is easier? Well that's gotta be a gadamn trick! oh well, speaking of "tricks" So I'm gonna go the harder path, just because I'm pretty sure that's what they would want... ...to send you down anyway. So... ...kudos to me, I guess. Se-
[music starts up] See, I d- oh... Is this it? No! Ok, you know what?
NOT PLAYING THAT FUCKING GAME! You know what? You wanna play disappearing blocks with me? Fuck you Fuuuuck you in eeeevery poooosssible way, shape, and form. Hey, I've triggered the music though, so that's nice I- I guess. Yeah, screw that shit. Not goin' there. Not doin' that, not goin' there,
not doin' that, not goin' there. oh no...oh boy, ok be careful with this one Easy enough. These, these, these blocks seem slanted..? Which, generally, means that I would roll... ...off either side. They don't seem straight up flat. Just a cursory observation tells me that if I land on it wrong, I'm probably going to, you know... ...end up dying. No, nO NO NOO NAAAUGH, come on! ohhh fuck meee uh-oh. No- well, this is... [exhale] fffff... Welcome to the new Hell. Just a short stop away from the old Hell. No, a- why did I do that? I don't know. I have no idea why I do anything in this game. I don't even know why I'm still playing this fucking game. No, fucking come- I don't- this is this- this is what you save me at? This is- this is, d'okay, whatever, you know what? Thank you, I guess. Ok, and you're not gonna- it's- which direction are you gonna go in? ok, that's fair. It bugs if you click it too fast, which is sssssoooo fucking great. Noo... [exhales] oh... mother... fffffffff fucking cr- You didn't go, which way are you gonna go? ohhh my GAAAWD! nope, okay... oh OH oh... [Mark's eyes of deadness] [eeewwwmmmp] wow You know what? I am grateful for that. But I was actually looking forward to just...being able to say goodbye to this game. I really was, so, frankly, you didn't really save me from anything. You just made me have to keep-- [scoffs] which direction are we gonna go in? Yep, that's what I FUCKING THOUGHT, YOU FUCKING BUGGY PIECE OF SHIT! Thought I was gonna be able to say goodbye and that would've been really great because I wanted to go on with my life, but no, I'm still fucking playing. Give me a fucking excuse to stop. This sssssstupid, asinine game. oKAY! I don't know where we are! And I don't know why! But I'm just gonna count my blessings and assume that I'm getting close to the end because I have got to- HEY, MOON! You gonna open your eye? When I least suspect it? Probably yeah woow, good yay, I can go high, I know to do the trick, yep I sure do. I suuuuuuure as shit do wow, that was... I- even I didn't think I was gonna make that. OH GOOD, GOLF A- nooo that's not how we do it here Gawd-fucking-dammit, this is where it's gonna get real dicey, isn't it? Yep, okay. Wow, I'm here, what is here? Why does this matter? [sarcastic] wow thank you thank you That sounds sarcastic! Sounds reeeeaallly sarcastic, and I don't appreciate the sarcasm... nope, this is not what I wanted. ok, I'll take it. don't- [sigh] motherfucker I HATE YOU Alright, what have we got here? Are we- is this actually the end or is this just a trick? Is this at- is this the end, is- what is this? What is this? "How're you gonna screw me over?" is the only question I have in my mind. OH What happens if I go OVER it? ok, or you're not even- you're not even gonna give me the chance. ok, I WANTED [sigh] ah whatever. I don't think you can get over it and frankly I don't care. Alright. I didn't even see what my stats were, because I was trying to do something else, but OH WELL! I'M DONE! YEEEEEEYYYY WAAHHHOOOOO WAAAAAOOOOWWWWEEEE
[smack, smack, smack, smack] An hour and thirty six minutes.
Two thousand, eight hundred and ninety-eight hits. I started getting really good at the game. I really did, I started getting good at that game. I don't like that. I don't like that I'm good at this game. But that's fine. Yeah, it really was, it was one of those situations where... I was playing,
I was playing,
I was playing, I got mad and frustrated and then, like, something just dropped out of me and I realized I just didn't care. I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't wanna beat it. And I felt a sense of calm as I was just trying to get through the fucking game. But I did it! :) And I did it. And the thing is, it's not a bad game. uh it's not "bad," it's... I dunno, it's- it's obviously derivative, because it was obviously inspired by "Getting Over It" So, inherently, it gets some points deducted a less-than-original idea. But the golfing aspect of it does bring some different difficulty to it even if the mechanics are still...kinda...bullshit. But! THAT IS THAT! I DON'T LIKE IT, I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING ABOUT IT, I HATE THIS GAME WITH A FIERY BURNING PASSION AND THAT IS all I have to say about that. So thank you, everybody, for watching! Let me know what you thought of this down in the comments below. If you didn't know, I am going on tour in Amsterdam in July and there are just some tickets left, so go to and check 'em out for yourself! Also... in November... we're coming to Australia. First show's in New Zealand, I believe. Go to TOUR.MARKIPLIER.COM or click the link in the description below and you can see it for yourself. So thank you again. And as ALWAYS... I will see you... in the next video. BUH-BYYYEEEE!
