God's purpose in Marriage - And At Present by Zac Poonen

[Music] okay and we were thinking about how God ordained it in the beginning there are many things in the New Covenant where God's purpose is to lead us actually beyond the beginning that means what Adam and Eve were the time they were created was much less than where Christ brings us when he fills us with his Holy Spirit in the New Covenant so even if you get back to where Adam and Eve were you haven't got to where Christ wants you there our God it's not just that when Adam sinned he dipped down and Christ brought us back to that level that itself would have been great but Christ has taken us to much higher level than where Adam was in Genesis 1 and 2 if we don't see that we'll just be satisfied with that today the example for us is not Adam and Eve but Jesus Christ and the church that relationship is our example so that's a much higher standard but there's certain principles that we were looking at and here let's turn back to Genesis 2 I mentioned how God created a woman to be a helper for Adam and like someone I said God didn't take team out of Adam's head ball in the head because he didn't want her to rule her and he didn't take her out of a ball in his feet because he didn't want him to rule her but he took her from a rib on the side so that he would always recognize that she is equal to them but there are certain principles he laid down have you ever wondered why there's a verse this in first of all before I come to that notice it says in verse that before God made Eve God made Eve in the latter part of the sixth date the first part of the sixth day he made the animals see on the fifth day he made all the fish in the birds but why didn't he make the animals also the third animals on the fifth day he could have done it fish birds animals but he didn't you notice that you notice it if you read the Bible slowly right on the fifth day he made the fish and the birds and on the sixth day he made the animals in the first part of the sixth day and the second part of the sixth day it's all in Genesis 1 he made man and I think the reason was to tell man it's very easy for you to descend to the level of the animals made from the same dust that they are made from but in that after God made Adam we read here just in those few hours before he made Eve it says here [Music] Genesis 2:19 out of the ground he made all the beasts birds and he brought them all to the man and asked man to name them and the man gave names verse 22 all the cattle to the birds and every beast of the field now any zoologist will tell you how many is it hundreds of thousands of animals and birds there are imagine if you were asked to give names to every single but I didn't forget after whether you're repeating some name after you even done 25 names it shows what I've been tested the intelligent person Adam was and God created and before sing him we'll just think of his capacity there his brain well this is the 150,000 name I'm giving and I know I have not said this name before in the last one hundred and forty nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine times and then he still doesn't have a wife and the interesting thing is the way this is written man gave names to all the cattle on the birds of the sky - everybody's filled but let me read it like this none of them were suitable to me a helper for Adam that's the way it says that means Adam saying hey these guys all got pairs I'm the only one all alone and how dad none of them were suitable hadn't looked at all of them said no no what about that beautiful line is no thank you and after he said no to all that that God gave him his wife so remember he had seen what two hundred thousand animals and birds and he said no to all of that and then he finds is then God says okay what about this one and in the Living Bible it's beautifully paraphrased in Genesis 2:23 he says this is it this is it he's rejected a hundred and fifty thousand or twenty thousand or million I don't know me there are and he said this is it now what I want to say is have you ever said that about your wife this is it not only other two hundred thousand I've been at this one and do you continue to say that later on even if you did say that on your wedding day you know there are many people who ask me in different only Indian churches brothers are was your married in love marriage as if it's one of the biggest crimes in the world I see yes it was sure I said this is it and even if you didn't you should say when you get married and continue to say it's very important to have that appreciation which Adam had right at the beginning she lost pretty quickly he lost it so quickly that in a day or so he was blaming the same wife for leading him into sin and then you see the difference between I'm calling Adam and fallen Adam he looks at his wife before he felt sad this is it boy it's better than everything I ever saw as soon as he falls to get out of trouble he does out of my wife she's the one to blame this wife who gave me as a blaming God forgiving you see how from light to darkness he went so suddenly in his relationship with his wife that's what sin does don't ever forget that so sin is the thing that makes you stop appreciating the husband or wife God gives you it's not a crime to love your wife or husband I had a piece of poetry here which let me read it to you amid the cares of married life in spite of toil and business strife if you value your sweet wife tell her so there was a time when you thought it bliss to get the favour of one kiss a dozen now won't come amiss tell herself that the Indian husbands kiss their wives or expect a kiss for their fathers you know a lot of our thinking I want to tell you is influenced by the non-christian surrounding living here that's a problem read the Song of Solomon okay don't act as if she's past her prime that's for those whose wives are getting older as though to please her what a crime if ever you loved her now's the time tell her so you're hers and hers alone well you know that she's all your own don't wait to carve it on a stone that are not [Music] never let her heart grow cold Richard beauty's will unfold she's worth her weight in gold tell her so this business of appreciation is another area where we as Indian people are big misers they are so careful to give appreciation to anybody we never give it even I mean we'd say to a doctor who did some wonderful surgery or treatment to save our child from certain death boy we've never hesitated to say that but so many other things we take for granted [Music] somewhere let me see if I can find it I had written here about I don't know if it's your money maybe I can't find it immediately but I had copied down from somewhere the number of hours of wife works in her lifetime you know house cooking meals some 10,000 hours or something she wants about 10,000 miles in the house a lifetime it's all for you so we don't appreciate that imagine a person walks so many miles in a few years and vice versa I mean look at the way her husband slogs in the office work bosses shouting at him etc and it's far a family the need for appreciation and we I have noticed that in the way people sometimes come to appreciate me for a sermon they always introduce themselves in braids and I hope this won't puff you up you know this is the introduction you know I'm not trying to spoil your head and I'm trying to flattery and after about two minutes of introduction there's one sentence you appreciate the message I said was thank you for learning because she is so concerned that other people shouldn't be puffed up you know other people are not like your brother they don't get puffed up like you they've learned to walk in humility they're a little different they're a little better why not acknowledge that they are not all like you and you want to appreciate just go and say appreciate just like Jesus appreciated the military Roman military you know that man who said I know speak the word and my servant will be healed over there Matthew chapter 8 what did the Lord say he didn't say well I don't want to puff you up man and you're probably used to this but I just don't want to be swollen headed but I want to say that this is the greatest faith I've found in Israel we are most unpriced like because we don't know how to express appreciation he looks at Nathanael and said there's a man without guile no introduction nothing no will he get puffed up nothing like that to the Roman centurion a blessed are you simon barjona flesh and blood allah revealed it to you brother sister forget all introductions and just say I really appreciate that spirit of this is it God gave me something which I don't deserve towards your husband and wife does almost nothing better than that to preserve a marriage in the way it should be otherwise she'll be admiring other pretty women it's very true what the proper beauty is skin-deep when you see a pretty woman just imagine what she looked like when this flesh is taken away from her face just think of that there's nothing left it's all you skeleton hideous and I remember one person calling this distant interesting arrangement of molecules that's what a free place is if you know chemistry all all matter is made up of molecules you just arrange it a certain way and it's an ugly face you're injured in other way it's a pretty interesting arrangement of molecules so whatever man there's a person who whenever you saw pretty but when I said that's an interesting molecule it's a chemical thing so you're pretty stupid if you say ha this was the futile range like this I wouldn't look at it but it was already like this point its way the suitability of man is amazing how he would destroy what God has given him a beautiful relationship and marriage for something which one day we'd see is all empty so never lose that sense of this is it always appreciated you know in Malachi and some beautiful words which I often think of [Music] mark accepted to the verse 14 the Lord has been witness he says in verse 13 the last part it's no use weeping the tears before the Lord because he doesn't accept your offering like Peter says he doesn't listen to your prayer anymore because what reason because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have dealt treacherously though she is your companion and your wife by covenant but those who have a remnant of the Holy Spirit they don't do it verse 15 they are in the business of producing verse 15 the middle godly offspring so take heed to your spirit that no one deals treacherously with the wife of your youth why does he use that expression twice the wife of your youth the wife of your youth that's because what the Lord is trying to say is that you must always look at your wife the way she was when she was young when she was a youth when she was young and that's important that we keep that in mind always think of your wife is the wife of your youth when whenever I look at my wife I said she is the wife of my youth my favorite picture of her is going something taking my shoes around 25 or 26 years old I mean the grey hair or it is just a fact of nature a wife of your youth always look at your wife is the wife of your youth then you won't have be attracted to anybody else you preserve yourself in that and God be with you listen to your prayers many of our prayers don't get answered because you're not faithful in your thoughts to the wife of your youth you could have been a man of God today [Music] God saw you were treacherous to your wife in your thought life I often tell people the way you talk to some women in your office maybe you don't even touch them but would you continue to speak to her in the same way if your wife walked in at the same time if not there's sexual infidelity even though you didn't touch it there's a lot of sexual infidelity in the way men talk to women in that place of work or other places they're being treacherous to the wife of their youth that's the reason why we don't have more men of God in the Potence because God is not with them the tragedy men were should have been anointed by the spirit or not because they're unfaithful it's them I'd like so and encouraging brothers sisters brothers be faithful with your eyes be faithful with your thoughts always have that said out of a hundred and fifty thousand or a million God picked out one this is it and always looked at her as a wife of your view it's God has really chosen her for you and appreciate that many weaknesses in her there are weaknesses in you the perfect husband is who the one who does not expect a perfect wife the perfect wife is the one who does not expect to have a perfect husband that's the perfect husband anyway now one who expects a perfect partner is an imperfect person himself so the wife of your youth this is very very important Ezekiel you know that Ezekiel was a great husband and you tell me the verse that teaches about his equals attitude towards this wife you would have known it if you had read the Bible slowly okay in Ezekiel the Lord speaks to him chapter 24 you know his wife was gonna die it's about the only place in the whole book where his wife was mentioned and his wife is gonna die and the Lord was gonna do it the Lord is going to take away his wife but he warned him in advance but see what he says in ezekiel 24 verse 15 the word of the lord came to me saying where sixteen son of man i'm gonna take away from your what does he call his wife the desire of your eyes with a blow wanna testify i say lord can you say to me that my wife was the desire of my eyes this is God speaking God knew the deceit killed was such a faithful husband with his pious then some of us glory in the fact that we have not sexually been in unfaithful to our wives what about your highest brother can God say to you I can testify your wife is the desire of your eyes you could have been a prophet if you were just faithful in that area people know God doesn't give that gift only to somebody well I'll tell you one he gives it to those were faithful to their eyes and that's why I didn't give it to you perhaps the desire of your eyes God takes these things he doesn't listen to your prayers he says because you're dealt treacherously so this is it this is a very important thing okay let's go back to the beginning again Genesis 2 verse 24 because verse 23 she was taken out of the man a man must leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife you know it's very interesting I still wear the a couple of things here one why in the world is the worst come in Genesis 2 when Adam didn't have a father and mother Adam didn't have a father and mother to leave why does that words come there because it was a principle that God laid down for all future marriages ever after Adam and Eve everybody else could have a father a mother and it was not written for Adam but there to leave their father and mother and it is something like the best example whenever you have a doubt is look at Jesus you see when there was a day in Jesus life when he left his mother then you understand what leaving means and his mother told him to do something in Cana right the very first he said woman what do I got to do with you is that attitude I'm sorry I'm not in a new relationship with my father in heaven I have to fulfill his ministry and I can't do what you say like I did for 30 years no and that it must have been a shock to marry with sacrifice moment you know marry sacrifice more for Jesus than any mother is ever done in her child she bore the stigma of having a what people thought was a illegitimate child but she bore that stigma and yet Jesus would talk to her say do it you don't try to interfere in my life I can't listen to you anymore I believe that comes a time when our we need to take that position without parents when we get married both husband and wife you see it doesn't say that the wife has to leave her father and mother well it's true in one sense but Jesus and the scriptures were written in a culture Genesis written by Moses and God speaks in a situation where it was commonly accepted that a woman left like an Indian culture and the woman leaves her there installment comes to her husband as soon as she's married she takes her husband's name and everything else things are changing because the world is drifting away from God but that detachment is necessary from both sides in fact in Psalm 45 in verse 10 it says to the bride of the king forget your father's house so there is a work there for the women to forget your father's house social the King greatly desire your beauty verse 11 Psalm 45 so there has to be a leaving from both sides husband and wife if there has to be a cleaving therefore shall a man leave his father and mother Genesis 2:24 and cleave to his wife why is that it says for this cause verse 24 for this cause because verse 23 she was taken out of the man therefore so Eve was taken out of Adam his rib part of him bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh you know that even if mother cannot say that about her own child even though she carried her for nine months in the womb she cannot say this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh I mean she contributed a little egg some nourishment for nine months but it wasn't an integral part of her body it was another body being supplied but he was not like that he was an actual bowl of Adam his body made into that's why it says Bowl of his bowl and flesh of his flesh now bowl of my bone verse 23 flesh of my flesh because she was taken out of man therefore a man was leave his father and mother in other words the relationship they is supposed to be closer deeper than the one we had without Paris that's why the relationship between Christ and the church is not symbolized by Father Son but my husband wife in Ephesians five and there you see what a intimate relationship not once husband and wife could have and there has to be a detachment from other attachments that's the principle of leaving father and mother he doesn't mean we have to ignore them because Jesus did not ignore his mother even when he is hanging on the cross he had four younger brothers and two younger sisters who could have well taken care of marry but he still knew he is the eldest son he's got a responsibility while hanging on the cross with all that agony and suffering he's thinking of his mother it's good to be like that in the midst of all your suffering you think of your parents who cared for you and helped you both husband and wife so you see the balance in Jesus he didn't tell us bearing that got nothing to do with you he can't for them in the moment of his greatest agony he was totally selfless but he would not let them interfere in his ministry that's the point he didn't tell his mother I don't care for you what he told his mother was please don't interfere in my ministry but of course I'll care for you and I'm dying I'll provide for you and I'll make sure that one of my disciples takes care of you to make sure that your parents are well taken care of both husband and wife is a responsibility they took care of you when you were helpless helpless a baby you would have died if they didn't take care of you and me so take care of your aging parents that's necessary provide further if they are in need financially help but leaving then what does it mean leaving is emotional you know many cases in India sometimes people are so poor that they cannot physically leave they may have to just live in a one-room in their parents house due to financial necessity but even there it's possible to emotionally without having physically to leave and if there are people some of us may be well-off most of us are or all of us perhaps well-off enough to have our own home because we are it out but there are many in the villages in India who are poor who cannot afford to leave their own they don't despise them God trained me for working in the villages of India by having to stay by hand being very poor the first three years of our married life first of all and at least a couple of those years I found I had to stay at my parents I quit my name is job I had no income we were extremely poor and there was no other way and I didn't understand it wasn't easy and I don't recommend it to anyone but I didn't realize that God was training me and preparing me not to despise poor people in the villages in India who are in that situation but if you are staying with parents just to make more money you may not get that much grace we were not staying with you we had no money at all but that's an important principle that even if you have to live with your parents you must not be emotionally attached to them because parents particularly our Indian parents have a tremendous way of interfering in married couples life as its traditional non-christian Indian culture which Christians have absorbed to interfere in the affairs of their parents and for children to consult their parents more than they cancel their husbands or wives that is corrupt culture I don't say Western cultures right Western culture is just as bad these are two clips Christian culture is in between I don't follow my Stern culture I think it's a rotten to the core just like every culture in the world there's a Christian culture which is in the Bible that's what I see to follow and that's balanced so that requires a leaving and a cleaving and if you find today that you're cleaving is not pretty tight and good it's bad but your leaving is not good you may have physically left your parents but emotionally you're attached to them and if you take the side of your parents against your wife or against your husband and boy that's the clearest proof that you're attached to your parents you may find situations like that where God shows you you'll never have a happy marriage because your attention your parents are you love them care for them even if you're dying on a cross provide for your parents like Jesus did but don't be attached you have to break that connection Slyke a but you see I've been so close to them all these years I can't give that up it's like when a baby is born the mother says don't cut that umbilical cord it's been there nine months we've been attached to each other don't cut it please don't cut it keep it keep it keep it what will happen to that baby it'll die and so will your marriage die you have to cut that umbilical cord and some people haven't cut it for years and they are wondering whether marriage is dying it'll keep dying till it dies permanently till one day you decide the umbilical cord that ties you to your parents has to be chopped so and then you'll be able to bless your friends more sometimes it's hard to tell your parents who've done so much for you dad see we want to run our what life please allow us to do that we love you respect you tremendously I love you done so much but you'll never be ungrateful but the Bible says don't let them bring up your children don't let them tell you how your children will be product grandparents ruin grandchildren unless they are very wise grandparents which you may find one in a billion then maybe about seven on the alert that means very well I think I'm one of the seven I'm not being proud is because I've decided to obey the Bible cover-to-cover that's the only reason as I do not interfere in the lives of my American and one bit now it's like I got a lot of training in the churches we planted I'd go to those churches and sit on the floor and never entered here in the way they were running it she's now they've mean once upon a time you started this church whether it's children or what anymore anywhere but I say their other elders are they running it my job is to sit on the floor and do what they tell me to do so I got a lot of practice with that that's exactly what I do now visit my children's mom's dear brothers and sisters don't let outside forces come in destroy your marriage you can leave if you leave it may not be as you say ah I don't I'm not attached to father and mother until you maybe that's your computer and you had a computer widows therefore shall a man leave his computer and three please water heaters why do you need that commandment I don't need neglected you need it for survival probably that's the means of earning your living that's fine go ahead and do it but don't get so attached to it I have to keep saying out of myself many times we have to you know particularly those of you who are [Music] working away from home I have had the privilege of being able to work from home so if I work at the computer quite a lot with emails and various things but still I'm at home all the time there's a lot of opportunity to interact with my wife but those of you are working away from home so many hours in a traveling coming back almost 12 hours away from home then try your best to leave your computer and leave your wife but could be something else you know leave your cricket game or whatever it is that you've got a tremendous attachment to that's taking away from tiny devices there are necessities and there are things which are luxuries we can afford to do without that extra you know this I'll tell you this Internet is one of the greatest snares if you're not careful I'm not talking about pornography that's absolutely evil I'm talking about all the other information that we can go searching looking for and browsing and things like that these are for people who have plenty of time with nothing to do I mean that all these I don't know what they call those sites Facebook and things like that if you're spending more time with the Bible than a facebook addict but if you find you're spending more time with Facebook than the Bible brother you better seriously consider whether you're a born-again Christian or not that's all I think I can keep these things in their proper place keep them assurance don't let them rule everybody in the world doesn't know what you're doing or what you had for breakfast or things like that residuals two things there right now these blogs and whatnot Lord of you know the devil has got a lot of things by which to sidetrack people from being effective for God and it's not always with sing and having a good married life take time with your wife you know it's spending time with your wife is like putting a little bit of money in a bank one day in time of trouble it'll have to do it'll save you from a lot of conflicts with your wife you know if you have a large reserve of money in your bank account suddenly there's a big need you have enough to draw on who are the people who have flashes with there right those who've never spent any time and in previous years making any deposits of time spent together and then suddenly there's a class there's nothing in the bank account they just trash now don't think Oh brothers act he's done this wonderful thing all 41 years no I started as a stupid idiotic husband 41 years ago and I had to learn the hard way because I didn't have anybody to sit and talk to me like I'm talking to you now I wish I had I longed for a spiritual father when I was a young man I never got the great man I admired in India where sadhus under singh and brother bruxing both of whom did not have handle I mean I could follow I said with the family man I can follow who's serving the Lord I couldn't find one who could be an example so I sort of struggled through this to defeat in the mire of defeat and failure and anger and selfishness and not knowing but gradually I found my way through this maze as I understood the Scriptures more and more and said Lord I want to follow this I want to live a godly life on earth I want to fulfill your purpose for me my personal life my family life and I can honestly say what I'm saying is absolutely true in my life today it's wonderful married life is wonderful my personal life I really know what it is to walk with the Lord but it's taken many years but I what I want to say is for many of you who have the benefit you know they say if somebody else already invented the wheel you don't have to reinvent the wheel that's already being invented you can get the benefit of that and move on from there we can move on from the advantages we got to somebody else having gone through something I mean for example I don't have to invent the computer today it's already there we can move on to something else and many other things like that I mean we get the benefit of all these fantastic programs that are on a computer which many others have labored and which 50 years ago mean they couldn't have which is so useful for me so we are benefiting in our secular life in our family for the use of a car for example somebody men in the car or over a hundred years ago which you're very thankful today so we must get the benefit of what we can learn from other people who have gone the hard way and learned some things that we don't have to make those mistakes again so if I tell you that well I took so many years after I got married to really understand what these things are you don't have to take that long it's like somebody's saying it took me 25 years to discover the silicon chip as the computers made fun you don't have to spend that time now you can just take it straight away somebody's already invented it so we don't have to go through the many years of defeat that somebody else went through because now we have the truth shall set you free we are very blessed so learn these things and value them I'll tell you this number one problem in India is that people don't leave and they try to clean it's something they're not meaning which is more important than than their wife something that they spend so much time on it must be so perfect and all that for time there I'll tell you something even neatness and tidiness in your poll though it's a very valuable thing is not as important as happiness in the home I don't know whether you believe that no it doesn't matter if you're always a little untidy if you're both happy neatness and diagram tidiness is is good very often it's more for the sake of others that they don't come to a cluttered up sitting room at least and also it's a luxury that people have who have grown up children can have what people are no children can have people who small children don't have that luxury at any time so even that is not as important as fellowship with your partner remember that have your priorities right to work is essential because otherwise you won't be able to pay the rent you won't be able to pay the bills you won't be able to have a hole at all so that there's certain things essential like having to go to work but then there are a lot of other things we got to knock out in order to be able to be together with our partners take time fellowship cleaving fellowship companionship is the number one purpose of marriage and then they shall become one flesh the sexual relationship also is a very essential part of what God is said right at the beginning it's not a ceremony and it's not only for the purpose of children having children because if it was only for the purpose of having children then a woman should be able to become pregnant any day of the year but you know it's not true why has God made that made it such that a woman can become pregnant only about 3 or 4 days in a month that's all I mean doctor will tell you that was it because God intended that the man and woman should have a sexual relationship only three four days in a month just think of it logically now they're if they are married they can have sexual relations every day and but yet they're not going to have children have children not gonna be born out of that which to me is the clearest proof from Almighty God Himself that the sexual relation was not intended only for children which is another he very concept that many so-called Christian why it's hands in India no it was to express someone's affection for one another I believe that these are desires that God created my body desire for food or anything embarrassed to say I'm hungry no or desire to sleep rest we are not embarrassed to say I'm feeling sleepy I need to go to bed now but when it comes to a sexual desire he saw the Ambassador embarrassed to almost admit that we have any desire like that as if we have some type of eunuchs why are we embarrassed because we think all that sinful because we got this concept from the devil the filthy movies and all those to these stories and everything have influenced us the devil has brainwashed us I tell you I'm talking about Christians the devil has brainwashed most born-again believers to say that to have a desire for food is okay to have a desire for sleep is okay but our desire for sex as well I'll tell you where it's wrong if you are desired if you have a desire before did you steal that's wrong and if you have a desire to sleep and you're driving a car that's wrong please don't well I'll tell you this do you know that sleeping in a meeting is not wrong it happens to me many times because I mean many people think I don't I'm not listening to me I mean obviously but that's because I'm just trying to get over a 12 hour jetlag when I'm sitting in some meetings and those folks who sit on the other people the media don't even know I give you what example you know I most times in the months of July and August I'm usually traveling for meetings in the West because it's a rainy time here in India internet meetings and then the conference in court Ian's always at the end of August or early September so for the last I don't know 10 15 years ten years agrees and always comes straight from a 12 hour jetlag into a conference and the cotton conference is the one conference where are most of them sleeping in the meeting and the brothers at Kerala other what did you say brother Zack doesn't listen to any of the other speakers easily become their speed is one of those classic examples of don't judge by what your eyes see or your ears here there could be a reason behind it the reason is this so I know sleeping in a meeting is not sin because one man who was did sleep in a medium drop dead God raised the bar to prove to prove for all time that anybody who sleeps at a meeting don't worry even if you drop dead I'll raise you up and say praise the Lord it's a God Himself I said if I did that part so you know but to sleep and you're driving sleep you in your driving is evil because you killed somebody you're selling somebody else so it's wrong sometimes to sleep if you're driving car should be alert drink some coffee or something like that and the same way sex is wrong if you wanna even if you want to have it with someone other than your wife or you want to have it and you yield to it even in your mind before you're married then it's wrong if you want to have it I mean God's giving your wife and you don't want to have it with her you won't have with somebody else you're thinking always about somebody else like all these filthy movies provoke you to do then that's evil and if you are watched sufficient of those evil movies in your unconverted days and perhaps in your converted days also like a lot of believers good then I don't know whether they're believers first of all but then of course you get this the devil has brainwashed your mind I'm absolutely convinced that the devil has brainwashed the minds of many many born-again believers in this area of sex because you're not careful to keep their mind and thoughts pure even after they are born again they watch movies where they're just about 5 seconds of some type of Filth they see only it's 5 seconds but I tell you 20 years later you will forget the story in that movie but do you remember that 5 seconds why is that test think of some of the old movies you're watched don't you remember that five seconds of Filth more than the story why is that because there's a fear desire can you particularly men create longing for sexual provocation that's why you gotta be doubly careful keep it see what it says in Hebrews 13 and verse 4 let marriage be held in honor let marriage be held in honor among everybody just like the honor that you would give to the president of the country or the governor or prime minister treat marriages something honorable and let the marriage Deb be totally under fired don't defile your marriage big with thoughts of other women or with other women because the reason is if you don't have any other reason for it fornicators and adulterers God will judge it's an amazing word fornicators those who have sex before marriage adulterers will to have sex after marriage God will judge both of them but you say he hasn't judged they seem to be a lot of ponytail in Jerusalem were simply flourishing that's right because it is appointed unto men once to die and after that the judgment so God is going to get them out to be done not the phone when there's absolutely certain that every fornicator and downcurrent God will judge in some way or the other and some of that judgment will come right now in terms of AIDS or other diseases like that or just that he can't be a prophet sorry because your wife is not the somebody else's and you keep blaming God saying God hasn't given me that kid God wanted to give you that if but when you didn't study the Scriptures and second you allowed your eyes to wander all the time okay you'll discover imagine standing before God one day God saying son I wanted you to be my prophet but you've never control your wandering eyes and wandering thoughts so I had to set you aside and you kept saying God hasn't given me the gift God hasn't given me the gift that wasn't the reason at all the reason was your wandering eyes and your wandering thoughts do you know how much the church in India has lost the church worldwide dear brothers and sisters take married life seriously leave cleave and become one flesh now let me say a few words from 1 Corinthians 13 this wonderful chapter on love husbands love your wives wives love your husband's both are in Scripture husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5:25 wives love your husband's Titus chapter 2 verse 4 both are there and wives be subject to your husbands and husbands be subject to your wives have you seen that are you wives eager to find out that worse I'll show it to you I'll be popular with all of you today the thasians chapter 5 [Music] verse 21 husbands be subject to your wives and wives be subject to your husband's in the fear of Christ tell me if I quoted the words wrong read it carefully slowly you missed it because you didn't really slowly husband's be subject to your wives too in the fear of Christ whilst we subject your husbands the fear of Christ am I right or wrong slow to say right then it says wives be subject to your own husbands the point is we have misunderstood it when we think that subjection is all one way because subjection is not slavery no it's not slavery it's because of the way God has made us in society God has said women must bear children man was from the head man is not inferior because he got bad children and the woman is not inferior because the man is the head now they're equal but different functions man is a leader in the woman grandchildren so in 1 Corinthians 13 I would encourage you to read verses 4 to 7 it's a wonderful passage when it speaks about love is patient making allowance for the fact that your wife her husband come from a completely different background used to different value systems now you've got to sort of learn to adjust together it will take time it's not going to happen overnight it don't be impatient don't try to force her to be like yourself no let her be herself love is kind respect your partner appreciate the good points think about the rest of yourself anyway there are number of things here love is not jealous love does not brag he's not a hurricane does not act unbecomingly that means always be respectful to each other in public does not brag means they don't give your wife an inferiority complex by showing y'all for showing how smart you are clever you are interesting and don't does not seek its own always seeks the good of the other means finds out the need of the partner is not promote that means this mercies are new every morning your mercy should be near a morning like God's mercies a New York tomorrow and does not rejoice in unrighteousness remember truth is not something you should sacrifice even to please your wife that's what Adam did he sacrificed truth to pieces why don't ever do that and stand for the truth but in a gracious humble way covers all things never expose your partner's wrongs publicly to them make sure that you cover whatever you see don't talk about a new puppy don't going to talk to other people unless you are talking to an elder brother who knows how to keep confidences or someone who can help you don't go Tom Tommy at all our town believes all things that means you must believe a lot of women are suspicious going after other men men men men are can be suspicious - my wife is secretly gained some money to her bears oh my husband is looking in other ways trust the Lord trust in all don't destroy your married life you may disappoint one day the Lord shows me all your suspicions were false and you discover in heaven everything is suspected was false and the Lord says you had a miserable 30 years of married life because you allow the devil to feed your mind with suspicions it is by the fruit you should know that if there is something evil that asked how to expose it but to mention Lord I will not suspect I will not suspect anything if God clearly manifests it and don't judge by mistakes we all make mistakes don't read too much into a mistake you're destroying your own married life it's like cutting of your hand a lot of wives and husbands are like that they take a saw cut off the suspicion suspicion believe hopes all things and even if things are not too good hope that things will get better and yours all things in other words willing to pay any price for a happy marriage and thereby you would have set up in your home a little manifestation of heaven on earth where your children can grow up and one day produce another home like yours to extend the kingdom of God on earth this is God's will for every single one of you families not just for one or two upstanding families all of your children must be wholehearted disciples who set out homes that will themselves be tastes of heaven on earth not just one or two of your children all your G but you've got to train them from the beginning and the best way to train it is the greatest thing you can do for your children is to love your partner did you hear that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to love your partner you know husband or wife and build a home where they can see what heaven is like and be drawn to it these are not theories 34 years ago I made a decision before the Lord that I would never preach what I did in practice I would never tell another other people to climb a mountain I was not climbing myself even if I have not reached the peak I would say follow me as I follow Christ so brothers and sisters we need many many homes in India that demonstrate the glory of Christ let's say Lord I want to be one of them let's pray Heavenly Father thank you for the privilege we have of being witnesses for you not only in our personal life but in our home give us grace to be the type of husbands and wives that you want us to be we humbly ask in Jesus name Amen ok then the best thing for me to do would be to expand on what I shared from 1 Corinthians 13 because you remember what Jesus told the church in Ephesus that was his bride these bridegroom's the bride and says if I were to paraphrase it you make wonderful chapati is wonderful chicken curry you keep the house so neat you iron my clothes so well but you left your love for me that's what he's telling the bride the church in Ephesus you do so many things and maybe I could tell her husband you provide for the household well you work so hard you come earn money and buy everything that you need but you never express your affection for me except only when you want to have sex you never express your affection with words and appreciation and it could be the other way around husband has to tell us why we do so many things so well you look after the children so well you keep it how so well you may make the means on time but it'll never express your affection let's learn to do that let's learn to appreciate one another Jesus as I said appreciate it's a major aspect of love and I believe that if you're unable to express your appreciation for your wife or husband it proves that you're unable to express your appreciation for Jesus also what you call praise and worship is just a few empty words but really appreciating Christ the more you appreciate Christ and love them the more you will love your fellow believers number one your wife or your husband the John says that anyone says I love God and it doesn't love his brother he's a liar I would say that do you say you love Jesus with all your heart you can't love your wife the name for you is not a believer but liar liar it's a strong word John you the apostle of love that's right the apostle of love calls you a liar if you say that you love God with all your heart but you can't love your wife that's very clear in the last verses of 1 John 4 so that's why 1 Corinthians 13 is a very great passage you can have all types of gifts it says gifts to earn so much money and you're so smart and you're so clever whatever gifts you have first three verses but you don't have love you are zero you provide for your home and you do this that and the other but you don't have love you're 0 it's the most important thing I've been in homes where people are extremely poor they don't have much for their husband I really love one another for many years of marriage it's great I mean the other day I was at the airport to receive my wife a couple of days ago and I saw these old ladies coming out some their husband or somebody would be there there's my love then when I went my wife came out I just other and cheek-to-cheek and all that we're just strange for can get concern right is it Scripture is it holy greet one another with a holy kiss we are such maids to our culture that you might be the wife of your youth the desire of your eyes to the end of your life yeah you know let's look at this then again love is patient first of all and just look at these qualities this is number one don't forget that it's mentioned love this patient his number-one and he almost the same as the last one where seven endures all things it's almost as though both are is like the one end and the other the other is tolerant and recognizes that woman has varying emotional states unlike a man a man is more or less steady emotionally but a woman seems to go up and down and love is patient and part of this is to give your partner freedom to be inside for herself you know I believe this is one of the ways in which we can build a fellowship if we can get an interest in the thing that your husband and wife are doing I mean I used to watch my wife being fellowshipping with our children when they visited America and she has zero interest I think in American football where they climb on top of each other and and what they're really trying to catch one ball and that is it's called American football none of you have seen it it's not worth seeing in any dates but that's supposedly the craziest game they all watch in America just to throw one ball from under a big jump and so many have broken bones and necks and everything but it's the thing people watch but you know my advice is to come back from a very hectic day's work that mind all exhausted with computer work and they sit down and relax watching this I suppose it was a relaxation for them to do things just to have fellowship with the children too and I think she probably appreciates it now too but I don't even know the rules of the game but I saw something there you know that when you begin to take part in an activity which you have absolutely zero interest in just for the sake of little fellowship with your children or your husband and wife in something which they have a great interest in you really will commercially and that's ultimately the thing that's important in a home fellowship so in both ways you know from husband / to husband it's think of it second love is kind which means I think there's a great need for respect for one's partner like I heard of a wife who said if you can just speak to me as kindly as you speak to the strangers would come to the door that would be none let me speak to a stranger who comes to the door I mean if somebody knocks at the door even if is the wrong person that came to the wrong oh yeah what do you want now let's take like that but very often we you know we the ones we say the love that we love the most are the ones very often we use the most hurtful words for we use kind words to strangers in a bus or in a train but we don't have you know we're never even met the mean I'm probably never see them again to the rest of our life where we're so kind to them but when it comes to our wives we're soul can be so rude to our husbands also widely unkind to their husbands where they speak there's a great need for repentance I believe a lot of destruction of homes is done by our tongue death and life are in the part of time so we need to learn how to be kind because we are not naturally like that we need to understand you know a wife is most of the time like a prisoner within four walls of our house [Music] routine is so monotonous and a husband comes back and doesn't recognize them or why it doesn't recognize that my husband had a tough day at work so there's a need for you know recognizing that the other person is probably had a tough day just like you so be kind never compare your wife's cooking with your mother's cooking I've heard this said about Adam and Eve they had one big advantage which other married couples don't have that she never had to hear how Adams mother cooked food and he never had to hear how many wonderful boyfriends she had before she met Ahmed what can't we be like that so don't compare your wife's cooking with anybody's yeah love and it could also you know apply to being helpful with different things wherever you are able to something you're not able to i don't help my wife without cooking because it'll spoil the whole thing if i go in there and try to help so sometimes the best way to help is to steer clear but area where you have no clue what is to be done next love is not jealous verse 4 not possessive that she can't have freedom to have a few friends over wrong give freedom to your husband to meet with friends sometimes for your wife to visit her parents don't be jealous and so possessive there's a jealousy there that can prevent it you know when it says husbands be subject your wives and wives we supplicate one part of it is that give that person room to move in her boundary and you and your boundary don't invade each other's boundary and occupy that country like all these invaders like the Mongols and the people who invaded India don't invade another territory which God has drawn you know there's a verse in Proverbs have you read it don't move the ancient landmarks that means these stones that are kept in unmarked water of a property don't move them I would say that in relation to your wife also don't move them and say hey this area's - not yours God is gonna prop area for your wife let her be there let her have some freedom caught in the brown areas Panetta mentioned freedom ugly that's important it's jealousy which prevents them another is number 4 dawn does not brag is not arrogant I think very often that can happen when husband makes his wife feel small makes her feel that she's not as spiritual as he is or make your husband feel small that he's not as spiritual as you are or don't know the Bible like you know either there's so many ways in which of one partner can make the other person feel small and that's a form of Dragon you know the wonderful thing about Jesus is that the most sinful prostitutes and crooks could feel comfortable he never made anybody feel smaller he never made any money feel inferior to him even though he was Almighty God the best person on earth was inferior to him let's follow his example that you never make anybody feel inferior to you we you know even in our relationships in the church I have tried my best to never make anybody feel inferior to me in any way young people I mean I I have I loved when children talk to me freely it's I don't mean your own children other people's your own children talk to you Feeny that's great I want to ask you how freely do other people shouldn't talk to you maybe you make them feel so small they don't come anywhere near you maybe your treat like treat your wife like that to your inferiority complex by constant criticism you know you're not doing this properly you're not doing this properly it could be a husband where ultimately you could be like that wife who said to someone my husband things are only two people are perfect in the world one is God and the other is games well he acts like that you know criticizing every little so that's what I mean by bragging and then number five is does not act unbecomingly to be courteous this is a Christian characteristic and it's not something you switch on in public and switch off at home that is other children of adam' do like that I mean the switch switch on this thing called curtsy in public when they come home they switch it off why is that I mean it's alright if you can take off your the better clothes that you wear when they are going on dressing simpler clothes or in pajamas when they are at home but person was mentally switched on it's to be part of our nature to be courteous in Kerala for example most Kerala even believers born again spiritually done speaking believers also have another tongue by which they call their wives I don't know what you know what ready means I don't know the right translation for the English but something is like it despite home has been the closest I could translate it in English it's not high it's hey so I was I have tried my best to teach people in our church a lot don't golf with your wife three and one has been said to me brother that is an expression of love I said really why don't you allow her to call you Allah also that you don't want her to love you you don't know where to call you in a loving way as it's all hypocritical nonsense this type of justification I said you can't don't even call your children eddieroq now call them by some barren name like Molly alimony a male now I was so delighted to see in one brother's house notice on this on the wall in handwritten nobody must call another person Eddie arrived in this house all morning all and then it does something you know courtesy don't switch it off when you go home I'm very careful with that even with other people's children I mean even little boy is another when I go to conference I never call a small little boy already I respect him there's a little boundary around in which God is drawn he's got a dignity as a human being created an image of God he may be three years old now I want to respect that I want to tell you it's gone well with me when I respect other people God respects okay the other thing is does not seek its own number to sixth point [Music] love always seeks the good of the other person and it finds out the need of the partner is concerned about the other person so if you're mean in in marriage I mean if your main aim in life is to be happy yourself you don't worry about happiness of others I have one advice for you don't get married because when you get married you like to be concerned about the happiness of the other person too not just your own ask yourself whether your actions and words are making other people happy your partner look at this lovely worse which Jesus said is the in one sentence the sum and substance of the whole teaching of the Bible isn't that great to have the whole Bible in one sentence Matthew chapter 7 and verse 12 it says by the way the law and the prophets is an expression with Jesus used to describe the Old Testament Bible the law was the first five books in the prophets for the remaining 34 books that was the only Bible they had in those days so the phrase the law and the prophets means the Bible so he said however you want people to treat you treat them in the same way for this is the message of the whole Bible there it is the whole Bible has got one message treat other people the way you want to be treated if you don't want to be called a DA don't call it e if you don't want people to insult your parents don't insult her parents or his parents if you want her to treat your mother kindly treat her another kindly and vice versa three people the way you want to be treated do you want people to forgive your mistakes you all make mistakes yes then forgive the other person's mistakes what a wonderful verse for marriage especially you know to think of is this how I want to be treated then I want to treat the other person like that okay then number seven love is not provoked does not take into account a wrong suffered he doesn't keep a record of all the wrongs done like somebody said love is a very poor mathematician he cannot keep an account of the wrongs done [Music] do you keep an account of the wrongs done or didn't say about that man who went to the marriage counselor and said whenever my wife gets angry she becomes historical it started he said he hysterical is it known historical she remembers all the things that happened 25 years ago 24 years ago 23 years ago its historical what do you do so I want to say even if you get hysterical don't get hysterical okay does not remember a wrong done because God doesn't remember the wrongs we have done he says I will not remember them anymore and that's wonderful it says in lamentations 3 His mercies are new every morning it's almost I look at it like this God looks at me every morning and says you've never sinned in your whole life you've never seen in your whole life and so today if you say it'll be the first time I'm forgiving you that's what it means to have mercies that are new every morning I believe that that's how I'm justified God declares me righteous because a blood of Christ is blotted out my past he looks at me as the violent never seemed whatever it's like a clean feeling you get after you're washed away or filled from your body from a good shower and flee afresh no see and now the Lord says are you willing to treat your partner the way I treat you or do you want me in future to treat you the way you treat your partner yes God says if you can be historical with your partner I can be historical with you also don't forget that and I can be historical for much longer than you can be with your partner do you want that I have noticed one thing through the years God treats us as we treat other people [Music] if you want God to be good to you be good to other people equal to the servants who work in your house be good to them do you like to get a bonus from work give me a servants an unexpected bonus sometimes I'm not preaching what I have not practiced every person who ever worked in my house will tell you that I fear God my Christianity is not in the pulpit this is a very 1% of my Christianity standing up here 99% of it is elsewhere mostly in my home so remember this your public what you are in public is 1% 99 percent is what your at home that's your Christianity if it doesn't work there throw it away that garbage about the wrong version so doesn't take no gun along suffer number 8 does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth that means you know we are not to ignore things that are wrong in the house but I say when you correct something in your wife or husband make sure you spent enough time appreciating all the good that they have done before before you give that one word of Correction so we rejoice in the truth I mean something wrong being done we have to correct it but correction must always be in the background of appreciation the background I say is a blackboard if you don't have a blackboard that means you spend so many years never appreciating then don't correct don't use a chalk to correct and there's no blackboard the blackboard is appreciation have you done that for a number of years by all means now use the chalk and write something and I tell you your wife or husband will accept it and one or two bits of advice don't sow seed when there's a storm got it no farmers hoses heat when there is a storm and when there's a storm in the house [Music] cover your head great but don't try to sow our seeds dead it log and blown away pray that the storm will pass and make sure it's a really fast check the weather report so there's a time to correct also there must be appreciation okay then number nine covers all things you know love covers a multitude of sins as I said that is when I said earlier that we never expose expose our partners weaknesses in public never when I mean when I say never never except when you want help from an older person who you know will not gossip who can advise you and what you do there's nothing wrong in going for advice to seek counsel from godly people is a very godly thing to do to humbly acknowledge it's like going to a teacher and saying sir I don't know how to do this problem can you please how to mathematics this problem I don't know how to do it can you help me wrong so you need help seek advice but cover sins believes all things I've mentioned that before trust your part and put the best interpretation a little bit of advice when you see something don't judge by what your eyes see or your years here but put the best interpretation that's part of believes all things a there may be a better reason than that maybe I'm just the devil just feeding me it's suspicions but the best interpretation hopes all things which means I remember once when I was thinking this many years ago I was thinking of a particular brother about giving some responsibilities and I said ah but he was like this five years ago I can't trust him and immediately the Lord spoke to me what about you how are you five years ago do you want people to remember you like you were five years ago and I say no Lord I know the days when CFC and I was such a legalist type I preach the same truth but with a different tone of voice in a different spirit because I was young struggling through legalism struggling through law to find grace and so I don't want people to remember me like I was in those days a lot of tapes of my those messages way back then which true twice it's absolutely correct but not spoken in the right way that's why we don't put them on the web for other people to hear so the Lord said to me you don't want people to do you think you're improved in the last five years consider the possibility that that person's improved to don't think of him as he was five years ago don't think of your wife or husband as he was she was even last year could have improved hopes all things and finally love endures all things love never fails that means it holds on to the end let me say this finally a happy marriage does not depend entirely on finding the right person you know how much effort people make before marriage to find the right person a happy marriage depends on being the right person not just finding the right person Ameri a wedding is an event and the marriage is an achievement there's a lot of difference any idiot can go to get married but to build happy home requires a godly man and woman I pray that all of you will be that in the days to come praise the Lord let's bow our heads give thanks Heavenly Father we thank you for helping us in these sessions to understand something of your ways please help us to really cry out to you for our homes official that homes that are you and teaching opposite one in Jesus name

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Keywords: Zac, Poonen, Revival, Repent, God, Sermons, Jesus, SermonIndex

Id: otj6DnW0T1o

Length: 85min 25sec (5125 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 15 2010