>> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR THE
BAND, EVERYBODY. LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW"
BAND. THERE YOU GO.
LOUIS. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE ALL OF YOU.
I KNOW WE'VE GOT A COUPLE GUESTS TONIGHT.
SOME OF YOU ARE OUT ON THE GIG. LOVE SEE YOU ON THE KIT.
>> GOT TO HOLD IT DOWN. >> Stephen: COMING UP IN JUST
A LITTLE WHILE, THE LOVELY, TALENTED ACTOR JAMES MARSDEN IS
GOING TO BE OUT HERE. AND TAKING THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT, MR. NICOLAS CAGE WILL BE RIGHT OUT.
FOLKS, THERE'S ONE BIG STORY THAT WE HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT
YET, PARTLY BECAUSE IT'S PARTLY ABOUT US.
FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS, THE WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA,
WHICH IS THE UNION REPRESENTING TELEVISION AND FILM WRITERS, HAS
BEEN NEGOTIATING WITH THE MAJOR STUDIOS FOR A FAIR CONTRACT.
THESE ARE CLOSED NEGOTIATIONS, SO WE DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT TONIGHT
AT MIDNIGHT PACIFIC TIME, THE OLD CONTRACT ENDS, AND,
IF A DEAL HASN'T BEEN REACHED, THE UNION COULD GO ON STRIKE.
WHICH MEANS THAT WRITERS MIGHT HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
TOTALLY AGAINST THEIR NATURE: GO OUTSIDE.
HELLO. THESE PEOPLE RIGHT HERE.
THESE ARE OUR WRITERS, THESE PEOPLE.
THESE ARE OUR WRITERS, AND THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT
TO OUR SHOW. THEY WRITE THE MONOLOGUE,
THE "MEANWHILE," THE COLD OPEN.
AND WITHOUT THESE PEOPLE, THIS WOULD BE CALLED
"THE LATE SHOW WITH A GUY RAMBLING ABOUT LORD OF THE RINGS
AND BOATS FOR AN HOUR." THIS NEGOTIATION IMPACTS
OUR WHOLE STAFF, WHO WORK SO HARD TO BRING YOU THIS SHOW
EVERY NIGHT. WHICH IS WHY EVERYBODY,
INCLUDING MYSELF, HOPES BOTH SIDES REACH A DEAL.
BUT I ALSO THINK THAT THE WRITERS' DEMANDS ARE NOT
UNREASONABLE. I'M A MEMBER OF THE GUILD,
I SUPPORT COLLECTIVE BARGAINING.
THIS NATION OWES SO MUCH TO UNIONS.
THEY'RE THE REASON WE HAVE [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
UNIONS. THIS IS TRUE.
UNIONS ARE THE REASON WE HAVE WEEKENDS, AND BY EXTENSION,
WHY WE HAVE T.G.I. FRIDAYS. NEXT TIME YOU ENJOY
A WHISKEY GLAZED BLAZE BURGER, YOU THANK A UNION.
DEFINITELY TOOK A FEW TEAMSTERS TO ASSEMBLE THAT THING.
MIGHT BE A LITTLE SHAVE JIMMY HOFFA IN THERE.
BUT JUST IN CASE THERE IS A STRIKE AND WE HAVE
TO GO OFF THE AIR, WE TOAY PUT TOGETHER SOME JOKES
ABOUT NEWS STORIES THAT WE'RE PRETTY SURE COULD HAPPEN
IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS. IN FLORIDA,
DISNEY HAS PREVAILED IN ITS FIRST AMENDMENT
LAWSUIT AGAINST RON DeSANTIS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AS PART OF THE SETTLEMENT, DeSANTIS WILL PERFORM 3 MONTHS
OF COMMUNITY SERVICE, POOP SCOOPING AFTER SULLY
FROM "MONSTERS, INC." OVER AT THE WHITE HOUSE,
JOE BIDEN HAS OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED HE'S RUNNING
FOR REELECTION IN 2024. YES, I KNOW HE ALREADY DID THAT,
BUT HE KEEPS DOING IT, AND THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS
WHY PEOPLE ARE SO WORRIED. THERE'S NEWS
FROM THE REPUBLICAN SIDE. ADDING TO HIS LIST OF LEGAL
TROUBLES, THE FORMER PRESIDENT HAS BEEN INDICTED FOR USING
CHILD LABOR AT MAR-A-LAGO. BUT IN HIS DEFENSE,
IT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANYONE WILLING TO PLAY
WITH ERIC. IN THE WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT,
THE BARBIE MOVIE HAS BROKEN BOX OFFICE RECORDS, THANKS TO
A STEAMY FULL-FRONTAL SCENE WHERE YOU CAN SEE ALL OF
KEN'S SMOOTH LUMP. JUST TO MAKE SURE WE COVER
ALL OF OUR BASES, HERE'S A QUICK RUNDOWN OF SOME TOP FUTURE
HEADLINES. CHATGPT HAS PASSED THE BAR
BUT DECIDES IT REALLY WANTS TO BE A DJ.
KING CHARLES' CORONATION IS POSTPONED BECAUSE THEY
COULDN'T FIND A BATMAN PINATA. AND THE MET GALA UNVEILS
NEXT YEAR'S THEME: EVERYBODY JUST DRESS LIKE ELMO.
I'VE GOT ONE LAST PREDICTION. AFTER THE BREAK,
I GIVE NICHOLAS CAGE THE COLBERT QUESTIONERT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
