Fugget About It 316 - Horse Springs Paternal

[Music] hyah door back where I grew up you had three career options cop priest a gangster my old man was a wiseguy so that's what I was who doesn't want to grow up to be their pop unless he's a priest then you got bigger problems or a cop in which case [ __ ] you what the hell is that I hit something Jimmy what are you doing back here impersonating this fair tire what's it look like I want to learn a family business from pop you're too young for this kid go hitch a ride home at his age are you nuts that he's safe here take this with you I wanted pop to let me stay but he was being such a prick I mean it's not like I was some kind of [ __ ] or anything oh my god I'm so sorry don't worry about it we're out here to whack Pauly anyway you made your bones kid you murdered a man and bonded with your father over it technically it was manslaughter and I'm just saying it was a nice moment not for Pauly it wasn't gunshots take forever to kill you bastard lingered for days now listen to him pop I think bonding over some jagoff with more holes in him the Swiss cheese would be great let's teach this kid what a card but if you think people up here in mother Canada don't got any daddy issues forget about the friends of arsenic Jimmy I made the wise guy and the couple with the Gambini a when we found out they'd be whacking uncle teach they'd take the boss he threw him from the 19th floor sweet who was so much a long till the marble once in dead Jimmy have no choice about the pocket wall the feds the feds will say they have to they could use him as a pawn understands and Moon Saskatchewan I hope taking me to the antique fair wasn't too traumatic for you fellas at first I wanted to blow my brains out but then I got numb from boredom now that I've been antiquing it's okay for me to admit that I like show tunes right cuz I love show tunes look at that and I'm already right beside his running really really fast what show is that from Hey look oh I got 400 horse powers here and she's keeping up with me yeah but the horse is in the engine a genie time for Christ's sake slow down Jimmy what for this happens if Cheech bungeed it to the roof like I said if I know what Bungie meant I'd have done it but I don't so it didn't we're gonna get rich racing this horse we bought I'm gonna name it in honor of cookie really yep I'm calling this filly cookies [ __ ] wardrobe cuz that's all we heard about on the ride home that's sweet Jimmy are you sure it's a filly I checked right up to my elbow sorry I missed antiquing in Moose Jaw cookie a sweet Canadian Pickers what a lovely wardrobe and who's this this is cookies [ __ ] wardrobe yes I realize it's cookies Jimmy but what of this horse it's cookies [ __ ] wardrobe we've established who owns the Wardrobe no need for oh I see her name is cookies fluff reward robe that's terrible he's calling a horse is that so I'll have you know that I and horse both happen to think that horse is a perfectly utilitarian moniker you can't name something what it is that's stupid what am I gonna do go inside and say hello to my two girls daughter and Antichrist hey look it's my son massive disappointment hey it looks as good as new which made you screwed up it's supposed to look old like an antique hey nice good mom it's not a cupboard ignoramus it's an Omar don't talk to my daughter that way oh my god do you realize what you just did I gave him a dirty look that was know me a dirty look you have the malocchio but I don't want to be a real boy it's the Sicilian evil eye the power to curse anyone who crosses you with medium to serious misfortune does this mean I have to do stuff I don't want to do stuff it's a gift that runs in our family but skips a generation I always thought Sheena be the one to get it in your face Gina Theresa the malocchio is nothing to be trifled with you've got a lot to learn young lady I know like what the hell trifled with means you're both nuts there's no such thing as the malocchio it's a silly superstition don't you diss my magic cursing stink-eye oh I'm real scared [Music] [Music] what's the play am i throwing this race or what yeah you don't gotta throw nothing these animal runs like my bowels on taco night yo Cheech looks like we're not allowed to race cookies [ __ ] wardrobe is pregnant don't look at me I pulled up sorry it's my gold poo when I hear someone's with child duo blows it again I'll be in the lounge do not join me I had a lot of money riding on this animal how'd she get knocked up McCool that's how I bet that horse of his did it I can't say I blame her horse is hung like a McCool Jimmy we gotta get what's coming to us and we'll do it like our Sicilian ancestors did in paternity court Jimmy this is preposterous relax mccoullough SUNY RCMP not you personally yes you are the department says I'm responsible for horses actions jeez that changes things you saved me a trip downtown thanks I want the truth read back that testimony I want the truth hey hey hey I really shouldn't I have a race coming up oh come on baby you know I love you oh okay but use a condom I thought you were on the pill I am but it don't protect you from the clap hey I'm clean I just got out of a long-term relationship sounds like someone likes to commit get on with it I gotta prove you're actually knocked up think about running water you know I object overrule sorry I thought about running water yeah anyway I rest my case oyez oyez Court is now in session what the hell is this the judge is here we can start for real but I got a surprise witness he did the same thing to me where'd you get that betting on the ponies yeah well how about giving you big sister a cuts no way the hobos who laid the bets for me ain't getting a cut why should you oh you better think twice before you mess with me yet gypsy wannabes you think twice I Mochaccino the lunch lady and she fell into a pot of soup she get burned now with cafeteria soup it's lukewarm at best but she did have to go home and change yeah ain't getting [ __ ] put that in your soup hey I think the effects of the curse wear off after a couple of days I never expected to see you in paternity court again agent McCool I'm sorry your honor when you were a boy your mother was in here suing your father staunch McCool for alimony alimony that remains unpaid to this day your honor I see so we've got cookies for wardrobe versus horse what's your horse's name horse yes the horse what is its name horse you're trying my patience special agent his name is horse your honor well no wonder he's impregnating fillies willy-nilly give the animal the dignity of a proper name sir it is a proper name and that is not the concern of this nosy nosy court straight McCool I find you in contempt furthermore I find in favor of the plaintiff ancient McCool is ordered to pay all damages what we won without even saying a word makes you think huh how different would my life be if I just kept my mouth shut yo puts nice cans ma'am I'm sorry that was very disrespectful what I meant was nice cans your honor according to this I owe you tens of thousands of dollars I'd hate for this to ruin our friendship yeah we'll be terrible now pay up or I'll break your knees how am I supposed to raise that much money on a civil servants salary your pop he's out there living the highlife totally crushing the whole deadbeat dad thing where did you get these oh I got my ways McCool PD found them on the Internet yes he's at the Banff Springs hotel let's get him he pays you you pay us everybody's happy except you all right I'll do it frankly I relish the opportunity to righteously confront my no account deadbeat father I can't face him don't make me go I'm scared Jimmy please I just can't do it I'll be in our room stress eating minibar peanuts you believe this guy what a baby no kiddin look at him running off like a yellow-bellied scaredy cat [Music] I need you to do my homework this is my hiding spot ya know someone criticized Theresa at lunch and she turned the cafeteria into the prom scene from Carrie I'll let's end this we'll try to stake through her heart that's for vampires don't you know anything about the supernatural uh if you went to Catholic school yet no this stuff you're hiding from Theresa - sure she's malocchio and people left and right like a drunken gunslinger but I got a plan I'm sick of being pushed around by that power crazed little psycho oh hi baby how's my favorite girl hey sis you look so good ah crap I can't do this just at me right now this still beats sucking your bony butt I'll tell you that much baccarat mon Dieu gentlemen welcome join us the games poker but these fops think it's baccarat they don't speak English nor do they understand cards it's like taking candy from several sleazy babies excuse me are you starch McCool no one and only good sir I need to talk to you about something from your peers my pasta in that case I'll pour your drink what's your poison cognac absinthe Lithuanian discount paola and this count coal is pretty good [Music] he's getting away I got an ID all right let's get him we got a ditch some weight to go fast the airs so thin up here I can hardly move [Music] did the marquis of catalonia send you because I slept with his sister what no is this about the gun smuggling to the Congo please do you expect those child soldiers to arm themselves no Strait McCool sent me cuz you slept with his mom coincidentally that's exactly what I said two straits mother alright kid I'm taking away your allowance I'm grounding ya and I shredded your driver's license I'm teaching Theresa values give me that stuff back or I'm gonna super triple Pinocchio yeah you haven't got the balls oh yeah no I don't have balls nothing to do with this malocchio by your own malocchio yeah that sounds lame hoist by your own petard not as lame as that what's gonna happen to me someone wants to meet you McCool has came for the money hello Strait been a long time how dare you try to shake my hand mother had to take in sewing and moonlight as a dominatrix because of your neglect and you never came to my birthday parties I offered to pay but she refused said my money was dirty and ill-gotten from card hustling and shady deals not to mention the counterfeit my little pony merchandise that's a lie time you are no monster why didn't you answer my letters did your mother burn them without showing them to you how would I know I don't see the resemblance to you if it's money you want straight I'll gladly wire it from my bank in Geneva but in the meantime let's make up for all the lost years and get to know each other son wire from Geneva oldest line in the book as if McCool and fall for that Oh papa Oh straight hahaha are you nuts inviting this guy to stay with you he's a con man let he who is without sin cast the first stone what he's got the Beatles the Bible Jimmy Oh must have skimmed that pot Jimmy's right I've been a deadbeat and I said all the same things and he's saying to you just not as fancy but he's my father he'd never lie to me come straight let's do all the things I missed when you were growing up start with giving him lots of money whoa what changing his diapers I hear that's real nice why are you dressed like a female gym teacher I tried washing my clothes the washer caught fire and burned him this stupid curse is the worst are you kidding me let's get in here the malocchio works in mysterious ways help me MA I want to be rid of this all right but it's gonna be tough first I need your picture wait I should do my hair [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right staunch where's the money patience Jimmy it's on the way yes indeed dad indeed I spoke to my bank manager Hans and he assured me that Hans dead named shells is made up is all your excuses so you tapped my word good sir and I use good sir sarcastically all right straight a check for the full amount I bet Danny worth the paper it's printed on actually it's gold flake paper very expensive Oh real nice dad this is from my Cayman Island account it'll take a day or two to clear oh Christ another Dodge Jimmy until this check clears I don't want to see you understood unless there's witness protection business or if you need anything or if you just need a chat but outside of that you are persona non grata while my father is visiting good day sir [Music] okay I'm ready what do we do sit my child here's the thing about the malocchio the curse wears off after a while but there's always the danger of being recursed one could say it's a recursive curse whoa one could shut up and let mommy talk sorry anyway Theresa I can't take the evil eye away from you but I can do this Gina did you put those pictures online not yet we didn't but if you ever give anyone in this house the malocchio again your social life goes kablooey okay you win I'll learn to control it for the record recursive means occurring repeatedly and since we're on the subject of a curse that can reoccur recursive is a doubly amusing wordplay because all right we gotta prove once and for all that makuu's pup is a no-good grifter and we'll do it by breaking into his house [Music] actually let's just use the door connects always leave them unlocked nah Jimmy it's breaking and entering not entering stupid Elvis Stojko squad rupal jump what are you two doing we got him McCool and we got him red-handed I told you my red hands were from eating pistachio x' lookie here credit cards and not a single one with his name on it passports from different countries different aliases and a bag of mustaches I'll bet this 180 was real oh it's real you twit he's a flim-flam man we just can't figure out if he's Fleming yeah a Fleming I assure you my intent is neither to flim nor to flam then why do you got my ghouls banking information written down here for the money I owe him but but I didn't give you that information I found your paint book I had every intention of ripping you off don't listen to them son they're idiots they couldn't find Hart at her and feather me so they used me Oh syrup Jimmy kept drinking it then cheats tried to get feathers out of a foam pillow for straight I am NOT a good man in fact if I didn't escape from Morocco when I did it I wouldn't still be a man at all but I never lied to you not my own flesh and blood but he did break your window look the baby horse is crowning I can't believe I ran my own father out of town on a rail literally the 3:15 to BC it did the right thing sooner or later he would have ripped you off and ripped out your heart which would not be as gross as where I'm looking at right now I was blinded by the need for a father figure but who needs that when one has such good friends you still owe me the money I know Jimmy I know oh I finally gave horse a name didn't I diefenbaker excuse me a moment special agent straight McCall [Applause] [Music] um that's not a horse that's a mule hmm that's interesting oh Jesus Christ what mules happen when horses do it with a donkey cookies [ __ ] wardrobe was knocked up when we bought her good news you're off the hook diefenbaker ain't the father no splendid because if I did have to pay you I have the money my father's check cleared oh he was telling the truth Jimmy my long-lost father was telling the truth the whole time how do you like that I was so sure he was a dirtbag well I guess we better sue the guy who sold us a pregnant horse perfect I'll go get my lawyer wink you look cool and I count on you as a witness for Canada where apparently a jackass can ride a jackass [Music] [Music]

Channel: Fugget About It

Views: 2,345,990

Rating: 4.7881737 out of 5

Keywords: fuggetaboutit, fugget about it, Theresa Maria Falcone, Gina Falcone, fugget, mob cartoon, fugget about, forget about it, mob tv show, canadian mob show, canadian mob cartoon, Jimmy Falcone, Cookie Falcone, Uncle Cheech, falcone, falcone mob, Special agent Strait McCool, Fugget About It 316, Fugget About It Horse Springs Paternal, fugget about it full episodes, full episodes, animated comedy, funny show, horse, horses, Horse Springs Paternal, race, racehorse, cursed

Id: c7zgEyrkeE4

Length: 22min 33sec (1353 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 17 2017