From Fugitive to Freedom: Conejo's Raw Journey with Jon Bernthal on Real Ones

[Music] foreign [Music] I grew up in La the area is called West Adams the same gang's always been there since like the 60s and late 50s you know the same neighborhood and what gang is that harpies so like the new generation came in which was dead end that's my generation I think like the end of the 80s it just it picked up like gang violence you know and you know some kids they don't have no parents but like I have parents you know but for some reason that's like your it becomes like your second family and since you're from there it almost makes you feel like you need to be part of that and like I've been pulled away from it like in different instances in my life but I always would make my my way back to it can you explain that well like when I was younger I remember um my dad had went up north or whatever like Northern California and um they try to send me out there you know like to get us away from it um next thing you know I'm in a juvenile hall with it for like almost a year up north up North and then and then the minute I'm out I get a Greyhound ticket back to L.A and I remember this is the old Greyhound station right in downtown where it was I think seventh street is that where it was at 70. that's what that's where it's at right now though before it was like no it was like off of Broadway right there yeah and it was like a whole like uh yeah it was upstairs yeah ghetto as [ __ ] like grimy as [ __ ] I'm gonna show up like fresh out of like Juvenile Hall with like a duffel with some money in my pocket and like I'm back in L.A late night little kid on the taxi even later in my life when I was gone for all those years I just was like like long to be in the hood you know like I I thought I did until I came back and I was like man [ __ ] changed on me you know what I didn't I didn't feel the same to me you know because well the same faces they're not there no more there's new faces and you know it's it's that energy it kind of like shifted on me a little bit you know and and when it and when that happens you got to play catching up but sometimes when you play that catching up you're gonna get wrapped up in the in the catching up you know it's crazy that you said that you chose to come back you know because the notion that the world get is that you forced into that stuff man you know and like I said myself you know it was something I chose because of all the love that I got you know from my folks there man it was family orientated and my father wasn't around much you know and and to just get that love from you know other homies like that man you know it's just something you choose to do man you know do you feel the same way or you feel different because it was similar for you right I mean you went away you went up you you were in uh Oregon right like you went up and then you came back I mean what what is that draw I mean when you're coming back are you saying I want to be in the neighborhood I want to get back with the people and this get like like like like try to explain that to people who have no idea you know it's crazy because this is saying you could take the homie out the hood but you can't take the hood out the homeboy and that's how it is man you know you know your roots man you know and you bounce out of town they could take you to you know because they send me out of town to stay out of trouble yeah you know and I went out of town I played bald I did all that [ __ ] man you know but you come back and it ain't like you choose to get in trouble man it's just [ __ ] that's just randomly happens you got so much love for the people that's around you you know you you make bad decisions you know and that's just the way life is you know and and that's why one of the things I say it's not it was never a forced move you know it's like you chose that love yeah you know and that's how I feel you know you know it's that's exactly how it is you know um like like now I always be in the hood like I'm always driving through it I stop and eat there you know but it's not more like me you know I think I'm too old to be like posted up over there and hanging out corners it's different now you know especially like because over there like my neighborhood got hit with a RICO indictment so it changed that [ __ ] it that changed everything you know I grew up in in Washington DC it was very it was very different but you know there's nothing I wanted to do more than sort of be with my friends and we you know we would you know our our version was just got street fighting you know like but there was a thing about it that like it's not that we were like looking for it but it was a way to kind of show each other how much we loved each other yeah is that component there I think so I think um or like a gang is like a family you know and and even in the family there's like like a real family there's there's problems but but let's let's say you don't get along with your brother but then some other guy comes and beats up your brother you're about on it that's right so it's the same like in the neighborhood it's like you know you got so many guys like there's little different groups and subsets and and all these things but a situation will happen and it like brings everybody together so talk about that talk about like how like can you give me an example of when you guys were youngsters were like violence like you know sort of uh getting each other's back however you want to look at it but engaging in some sort of like physical violence together brought groups of young men brought you as young men together like I'm I'm gonna tell you a situation but I'm not gonna go into it maybe out there I'll tell you about it cool but there was this one time where basically like it it was the world against us right and um we're at Hoover Park all my neighborhood maybe like I mean not all of it but like the active ones maybe like 60 70 of us right Hoover Park is on the corner of Hoover and Adams and we're in there and um all these trucks and cars start pulling up on us a lot of them 20 something like that to come and get us and um it like this looked like um that movie the city of gods when all the little kids pull their pull their thing out that's what that's what it was it was like 30 40 50 guns pointing at them so it was like oh [ __ ] they just took off because we was just like we're so United and then we have different spots in the neighborhood so that was one of our Hangouts another one we had was on 39th in Vermont and back of these apartments because the homies lived in these apartments so it's like we're moving as a unit that deep that many cars like okay now we're gonna go to this other spot and then because my neighborhood was like divided between southwest police department and Rampart so then you know now let's go on the rampart side so we'll go over there on 20th and Vermont so it gets hot over here we'll switch over there but we're moving as a unit like deep it bondage you guys yeah so and then on top of that like we had a lot of murders you know like like let's just say in in 91 they killed 17 of my homies in one year so who who who was coming at you guys like in L.A nobody gets along with nobody you know basically it's like if they inform if they inform your hood they're your enemies that's it like you don't recognize them like get them that's how that was like the 90s mentality you know they ain't one of yours get them is that was that the same for you guys it is and is it like slips around you know it's a survival tactic man you know what I'm saying you know it but it was just when you're that young man you are partying a lot and with all the liquor and drugs and stuff in people's body you know stuff can click off it for sure you know at the snap of a finger so it's just you know with all the stuff in the mix of the body man you know it's it's always a lot of beef chomping off a lot of problems a lot of situations a lot you know and then you know everybody don't agree on the same color you know everybody don't agree on the same name the same number whatever the case may be so you know it was always War it's always War man you know so you just got to be on your p's and q's man you know around she told every time you walk out the door basically you know what I'm saying you walk your dog down the street you better be on your p's and q's down where you were at did you know about the Harveys or did you know what was your take on that I add up you know harpies was kind of you spread it out you know and and uh one of my best buddies named Joe we used to call it Mexican Joe you know what I'm saying and I dealt with him for different reasons you know and he was from harpies him and all his brothers and everything you know and we was thick as thieves you know what I'm saying he grew up around the east side where I'm at down in the 50s you know everybody knew Mexican Joe you know what I'm saying and to this day everybody no Mexican Joe and his brothers you know yeah harpies was around but I knew he definitely knew about harpies man because those dudes when they tagged they doing big old [ __ ] heartbeat letters you know yeah and how about you did you know about bow at all did you know about what I don't know Bo but I knew about like like when like when um like when you know you're you're down there growing up you learn about everything so you know I go past here it could be like this is the Florence is or there's the east coast is or you you start okay the Hoovers are over here or the South floor so you start knowing all the gangs like all the areas so I've been you know I've been heard about the Pueblo since I was a little kid but plus my my mama's comada used to live somewhere over there and we used to you know like for us like seeing gang writing it's like I don't know I just just when you're young you like seeing that you know because I used to ride on the walls a lot so it's like no you you know that's how you know where you're at too yeah you pay attention to it man that's like you know you know if you need to go around no you know or whatever you know what I'm saying depending on what depending on what like give me an example of something for somebody who doesn't know [ __ ] about it let me example of something you would see on all the way I'm a blood man my neighborhood is a blood if I'm just say getting off the bus and I see a big old BK on the wall I ain't gonna walk that direction because I already know what that means blood killer so you know I'm gonna try to figure something else maybe get out a few stops down and see if I can walk through somewhere where you know it's a little more safer you know for me you know what I'm saying and same thing with a [ __ ] they see CK on the water nine times ten they're gonna hesitate your car break down anything you know what I'm saying you're trying to get up out of there you know what I'm saying he says you already know that's a calling card and not going but you might not make it out right straight up right can you just sort of again like kind of just like walk me through you know the 90s mentality sort of like how it was different from girl you know from from being from being young and or what that was like I mean when I was young this before I was like like in the gang but I grew up in the gang so I was always like like it was going to happen anyways I always felt like I was part of it even like as a kid and there's this one of my homies that uh like he's like a legend where I'm from and I was looked up to him but he was a little kid I was younger than him but I remember him pulling up to the house crying with a big ass gun some like dirty hairy [ __ ] crying asking one of my Bros to take him on a mission because LAPD has just had just dropped them off in the enemy neighborhood put them there they [ __ ] them up and he wanted his get back a little kid you know and I always remember that in my head the kid the the dudes in the other neighborhood [ __ ] him up they beat him up he's like bad they took him right to where they were like they're spot that was pretty common thing to do but yeah yeah yeah so real commonly talked about that before and um so I always have that that in my mind like I always remember that about him like he was a little kid but he was already with the he was on another level like he was acting like a grown-up on his mentality like I want my get back like and I don't want to fight I want to like take it to the next level you know I mean are there times where you you felt like it was hopeless and it wasn't about anything or or did that never enter into your minds I mean for me it was just the H the hood and that's it like whether we were wrong right I don't I don't think that even mattered because once you know you come into it you just keep it going you know and and now that I'm older you know I see things different I I [ __ ] with a lot of my enemies like a lot of my enemies that that back then there's no way I would be like talking to him or nothing but now you know like my worst enemies you know I'm over here chopping it up with them inviting them to like invite them to my shows you know I have my enemies at my shows and this and it's cool you know it's like they grew up too you know so they like and we're all from the same area we were all going at it with each other when we're younger and now it's like we look at it like you know because Anything could happen I get in a car accident down the street and it's over or whatever plane crash whatever but we look at it like damn we made it that [ __ ] was kind of crazy like we made it out of there and then we both we both have people that didn't make it that we loved that's right and or people that went away that you know that we love and so we all go through the same thing so we get it like at the end like now it's like it's just like mutual respect and and there's sort of like there's some love right there you know even though we enemies and everything is cool you know tell us a little bit about just kind of what got you out of what got you out of who just your area and okay well like I'm gonna say like 2001 2002 around that time there was a situation I went to this to this place where a young man lost his life and and you know like my name just came up you know and and next thing you know is like the [ __ ] like you know how it is in the hood like if someone will plant a scene in the [ __ ] snowballs next thing you know I'm on um Ellie's Most Wanted so you were at you you were at somewhat like some party or something like that and and someone got killed you know situation took place the young man lost his life and now my name's in the mix so now you know get them so me I kind of like backed away and and and you know you sometimes when these things happen you need you need time to think how old were you then I was like I don't know if I was like 25 26 I was you know and had you been locked up before yeah I've been I had you know since I was young you know I'm going to juvenile Halls 2018 I started going to County then I went to prison before some like robberies and then um but I have been out for for a while because you know I was did music and was always I mean I work sell dope I just like you know it was just little a mix of everything you know be in the neighborhood so it was like one foot in like one foot in one foot out type and then this happens and I decided to leave I'm like nah I just I I need to like clear my mind and because a lot of things go through your mind when especially like the way it happened to me they got this guy now they got this guy oh [ __ ] they're they're going down the line so so I ended up in Mexico so so when you make that decision yeah basically these you know that they're coming after you for murder yeah and everybody yeah can you explain the psychology of it I mean it [ __ ] with you but just because I know a lot of people that that had got life already like crazy sentences whether it be 80 nights alive you know even seven alive you know people got seven life been in their 30 years right you know when you're out there you don't care but when you you now you got to deal with it you care like it's like you wake up and then and it's it's like the real world you know and then um so you know I left and and I get over there and um my life was so fast and once I crossed over my life started going slow and I said Mexico right yeah it just went slow like I know on my end I didn't seen people get charged with murders they never did nothing they never were around right had nothing to do with right and went and got life sentence for murders that they didn't do you know and and I'm sure like you know that's one of the thoughts that probably went through your head huh like yeah I'm in a lose-lose situation yep and then you know it's on the TV it just made it look like oh man this [ __ ] looks bad you know and um I remember I had a they have your face on the teeth yeah yeah I had a VHS copy of that [ __ ] and I watched that [ __ ] like like three or four hours at a time over I rewind it and try to like break up every little word that was said to try to like that was I always was working on my case by doing that you know like okay this news reporter guy's saying this this and this [ __ ] line [ __ ] what is the actual like when you're in that situation are you are you hiding I mean you're not at home right I mean like before you go to Mexico you're seeing that on the TV I seen it when I was in Mexico when you were in Mexico yeah when I took off I just took off once I get to Mexico I get that someone sends that to me and I have it and it's just I remember the day that it came out in the news I was in this in this house um that was that was like the hiding spot or whatever that's where we're at and then I had put a phone in this house but I I was upstairs so the phone was ringing all night like well it was nighttime it was ringing and ringing I'm like no one has this well like like two or three people at the number like who the [ __ ] is calling and you know this Mexico is like scary [ __ ] haunted Housewives and [ __ ] like I'm going down there type [ __ ] so then um you know like this [ __ ] is dark and you know you hear [ __ ] roosters and pigs making noises so over there you know it's like oh it's like folk stories and [ __ ] you know the devil you might that put my pop out on you or whatever you know and um so finally I go down and then I I'm like what's up man fool you just came out on the news and and what they say are for it's all bad the person on the other side is [ __ ] scaring me and [ __ ] like man this this and that they said this this and that they had your picture they had the homies picture and they're saying like um so that next day I remember um it was crazy because in that town my uncle was like running for office right in that town in Mexico in that town that's why you went there I just went there because where else I'm gonna go right you know and um so I like and they won they won right so it's a big celebration there's parades and all this [ __ ] and and the News hit me and it was hot it was a sunny day and like my when my my house was at it was like down the street from downtown so I'm walking up towards downtown busy as [ __ ] I'm just like I'm out of it it's in my head and I'm just I'm feeling like it's just closing in on me but this is like in year one or less than Year One I'm like nauseous I go in the little store buy a little bucket of beer these little tiny beers like this and I like pound like six of them like just to feel a little bit calm and I'm just like in the cut and I'm like paranoid I've been paranoid I was paranoid What specifically are you paranoid about the the government coming after me like like I'm thinking so there's not like you're not safe down there nah cause they got me down there in the end they got me down there and um so you know I ended up making my way to my uncle's house the celebration everybody's happy and then um I tell I'm right I told my Uncle I'm like man I came on the news yesterday and he's like who gives a [ __ ] forget about that [ __ ] here's another beer eat and I'm eating and everything and I was dying to call the U.S that night because I it was just like I wanted to hear somebody else's opinion so I did I waited till like I went to a uh a pay phone over there you would buy these like little um like a little card like a little credit card and you could put like you know 50 pesos 100 pesos on it like five bucks ten bucks whatever and then I went to this pay form and I called this person right and they're like they like they're like yeah shit's bad and I'm like oh man and by this time I'm like kind of like drunk and I'm just like sad I'm just like oh man but you know like it it would come in waves I would snap out of it I'll get involved in some other [ __ ] up you know but then like things will remind me of it like all the time you know and man you're a fugitive did the people in Mexico that you were dealing with your family or whoever did they know that you were a fugitive they started knowing you know because they basically in in in Mexico is like this when they see a uh like a Mexican-American over there or or just like me either he's deported or he's a fugitive if he's there longer than a month after a month they're like what the [ __ ] is this dude don't still doing here like you know people from the U.S only go for a little bit and visit the family you know my family every year would travel like 10 15 cars with Caravan all the way to Jalisco to stay where my family's from and um at a certain time of the years they have these like festivals right there and my whole family will go to this Festival every year but when that fist it's a wrap everybody you see all your passes back back to the U.S so I'm still there and I'm walking you know you come from the US you got to be driving some trucks some [ __ ] I'm over here walking around there I'm I'm starting to stand out people are starting to notice me you know and um my boy that I that that we both went down there we split up when we're like man we got to split up because together we're more obvious wanted to yeah yeah he was he was my co-defendant so then um you know we split up and then you know what I'm telling you my life got slow which was cool in a way like it's like soul-searching happen I didn't like it but then I started liking it you know like my you know you start finding things about the family like history like you know things that you don't care about I didn't care about none of that in La you know nothing it's not important I just like going to Mexico when I was a kid because we're like fireworks smoke weed it was over here [ __ ] eating McDonald's every day in the U.S and [ __ ] like that you know anything I for Figaroa right there by USC they'll Taco Taco Bell it's garbage it's garbage and [ __ ] and then I go with it I start eating like home cooked home soon like vegetables and like you know beef and chicken and I'll start eating right and I don't know [ __ ] just starts changing for me you know and um I I was already training martial arts before I went with Dave and all of them before I left oh is that right yeah I was already trained with mosquito with Richard yeah yeah I think I made a blue belt with him before I went and it's crazy when I went on the run all I took was a ghee wow again a cup you know some clothes but I took that ghee and then right there where I was at they had a Kenpo School so I pull up one day and I'm like hey what's up do I get two free classes yeah karate schools give me two free classes and then you got to start paying they're like yeah come through but you got to spar them all the dudes let's go I'm like all right cool so then um you know I just start training with them and that's what I'm saying like my life was kind of slow I started liking it like yeah and then um I get a call from my boy one day and he's I'll pack up there's work there's [ __ ] to do now I'm I'm coming through like in four or five hours this is your co-defendant yep and then he picks me up we we go to this we go to this uh Studio Usman which is also Jalisco this is the mission and I was like oh man so now you got that work that you heard yeah so I'm like I'm like oh like that see in the beginning like where my family's from it it never was like well I didn't see it like like cartel that whole cartel thing wasn't there but it was coming in and then um little by little I started seeing like oh [ __ ] this shit's like something another level on him you know can you explain to me things that you saw that made you see that it was on another level or that it was coming like I'm gonna give you an example um I was I was over there one time right see my uncle had this um when you shoot pool and then he had all these businesses in this town he had a star video games so I would always be over there and then like on one of the days they would um they would uh shut like they would just make one street of [ __ ] swap meet in the middle of the street long ass street is a [ __ ] outdoor swap meet so I go over there you know buy zig zags buy some bootleg movies you know look at people because I'll be inside you know like most of the time I was in unless I had to go somewhere and then um just to breathe you know be around people and then so this dude there was this little like little like it's like Europe where they have those little circle things you go around as you're driving so they have those everywhere in Mexico so right in front of my my uncle's house and the stores and this pool my two cousins were sitting there and this dude bald-headed dude like you know gang member pass by in a beach cruiser Mad Dogging them scaring them so you know I call out to him you know and I'm still on like kind of elementality I'm like I throw the Hat on when he passed by he turns around looks at me I'm like hard piece he goes so that was it a week later I'm like man I'm gonna go back over there like my that mentality man bang on this fool let me find them let me run into them so it took about two weeks I ran into this fool my cousin was sitting on that bench again this food's like grilling them scaring them you know and I told them hey where the [ __ ] you from and he and then he goes I'm from this place and I'm like are you that he goes no then what are you and then you know he gave me some stupid response like well this West Side heart piece you know whatever even though you're in Mexico yeah I'm in Mexico he leaves and then I'm chilling right there with my two cousins I'm like man you fools are scary man people shouldn't chew you fools could jump this fool [ __ ] that phone and um while I'm there all of a sudden I like it's like a little Hill that leaves that little thing I see dudes like coming running like zigzagging in between cars I'm like what the [ __ ] those coming up with like sticks old ugly ass shotgun um like all these like some Warriors type [ __ ] like the movie Warriors like a dude with a chain some [ __ ] with you know like a stick with Nails in it like all kinds of like makeshift weapons right tiger on a leash and [ __ ] yeah and and they come and they surround me right and then like the like the main dude right he like he got a big gun and and and then like the dude that was on the bike he's trying to see we want to Sucker Punch me so he's like to my left but the dude over here with the gun with the handgun so I'm like okay this is the dude so I'm like hey look I don't have a problem with none of y'all I have a problem with him and I called them out can I just get down with them right now and fix it because I don't have I kept on telling them like over and over like I don't got a problem with any of y'all you know so so they were like oh [ __ ] this food's like he's being sincere yeah you're showing hard and and plus I was like you know it was a dangerous situation you know and then on my cousins his grandfather comes out with like a 357 and they my family calls me Pelon so he's like belong get inside and he kicks everybody out kicks everybody out right so then whatever more [ __ ] happened but later down the line the line I not start moving around I'm in different states now I'm like in Baja like in TJ I'm moving around and I kept training right so one day they called me and they're like okay it's time for you to come down do your black belt test it's weird how this [ __ ] happened so I'm like I call my cousins the same two and I'm like hey to my uncle because he had these big Honda motorcycles these quads tell them if I could get one so I could move around in it and then go to the spot and buy me a bag of weed I'm gonna give you the money when I get over there and then and then pick me up this day from the airport so they picked me up from the airport where's my weed at no I don't got it so we go to the spot where they sell the weed and the dude that was in there when I left before he was straight when I come back which is like seven eight months nine months later she's [ __ ] tweaked out oh man I'm in I'm in the little trap spot he's in there smoking and this is like before I don't think they even have pookies in in Mexico they're smoking on a [ __ ] light bulb you know and I come in there and I you know I'm I'm a jokester I like clowning and all that [ __ ] and he's like why are you down here and I'm like can you do a hit I'm just [ __ ] with him and this Fool's like what I'm like yeah I'm just gonna do it I'm gonna get on he's like oh [ __ ] so that was that was it I forgot about this dude when I was there about a week you know I did my little my black belt test got my [ __ ] happy that's why I'm gonna call Richard I call Richard I drank these two they're like 40 ounces of kokawamas I went when I got that test I went and bought two I just pounded them and I caught Richard and I'm like hey bro I just got my [ __ ] black belt what so then I leave I fly out right so then a month later or two months maybe two months later you know I don't know that same dude that bald-headed dude that was punking my cousins he um he uh they found him on the side of the river they emptied they hit him with two AKs empty both a case on them and and shot him in the face like a whole clip in his face too with a handgun and I was and my cousins tell me that right then they're like hey you know that one dude it's a rap they found him by the river you know he's full of hoes so I was like all right that's cool [ __ ] him you know it was [ __ ] negative ass Vibes anyways you know what dude was starting trouble and he goes yeah but the bad thing they're saying you did it I was like oh man what the [ __ ] I'm like I I've been gone like two months like there's no way I could have been I'm over here in the Border you know like got nothing to do with that [ __ ] yeah man but remember that tweak that fool yeah so he's like you know that tweaked out fool like you know how their mind works they gluing [ __ ] together wow masterminding [ __ ] in their own like they're like it's like they're psychotic you know but what I'm saying is that like that dude Mexico was different you can't be hard in Mexico you you out there walking around [ __ ] giving people dirty looks you're not gonna get nowhere I don't care if you just like you just did 30 years in prison in the U.S if you intimidate somebody in Mexico um mysteriously some [ __ ] will happen to you I started seeing more things like this that's when I I knew like yeah it's a different ball game over here and how did that make you feel that it was a different ball game no well after like I had to um I had to catch up to it and be like not that you know I just have to be on the same page with it they put you in another criminal situation you already got your bachelor's you know you already you got your Associates you got your bachelor's and you probably did some internship along the way you know so just adjust the new rules yeah you just you just adjust that's that's basically what happened I just had like not only me because there's a lot of people that were just like me over there and they had to adjust whether they were deported or fugitives like they had to like mind somebody I mean it's just like mysterious should be happening over there like that's what I'm saying like just a dirty look could be enough you know I don't know it but it's just it's like La you know you get used to it so did you get used to it I got used to it how did you or did you get get to start kind of being involved with them yeah I just started maneuvering like because he my boy's family is involved in that my family there are field workers they they worked on sugarcane um Agave which would you make tequila from um corn like in that area that's what they do and that's what my family does and even in the US like they came here and that's what they did they they work in the fields and or all my family works over here all my family works construction if you're a man you're in the carpenters union and my boys his his family they're all involved in that so I mean Mexico is different because like your neighbor this Fool's a hitman this neighbor he's a politician and and they'll like have dinner with each other everything normal everything's normal even where I lived at I lived in Baja on my street where I lived at everybody was like there was a judge on my street and he was cool he was cool with me you know real cool I mean can you talk about what you were doing with them I mean honestly like like like my involvement see because I'm not I'm not like bloodline from them and I'm not I wasn't family so me basically I was just like a go do this contract that go get go get this stuff and do this and do that pick up this give this to this person and stuff like that or you know I was a point man or I was there so I was that and then in other situations yeah you do get your hands dirty because they want you to get your hands dirty or or you know you're not they won't trust you you know and what's the biggest like you know in in the media or whatever it is like like for for Americans that have no idea what that's really like what the the culture the cartel culture is or or or the draw of like work if like the humanity in it or the lack of it like what would you say is the biggest misconception I mean the thing is that over there there I don't know see I I want to say that there's less opportunities that's why people get in this but I've seen like I've seen people that are like well off like crazy like they're their parents are like like businessmen and everything they're all involved in the [ __ ] too you know it's just like here it's the same as here it's like like no one's pushing them into it they just I don't know they gravitate not everybody but you know they gravitate towards it and and next thing you know that's what they identify as you know and can you try to explain to me what the draw is uh I I mean I know I mean yeah for somebody whose parents are who has everything like for me I just was trying to like eat and have some money and and then that first plan that was the plan that plan faded away that that plan didn't matter no more and I was just like man we it's survival mode now you know that because how does one lead into the other okay look when I first got there in the early 2000s you could I talked even I talked about this with that Calderon he um you could get 15K 10K to drop somebody you know right now you're on salary like 500 a week and you might take out like five people kidnap a family two ATM machines your job is complicated and go at it with the cops you know go at it with you in like because there's so many people willing to do the work now yeah yeah it's in this like cheap labor and then they hire smokers to to do [ __ ] so it's like like I've seen it happening you know but so we just at that point we're just like man we need to stay out of that and and just try to get money and and just stay free you know as long as we can you know and besides that that thing that you said happened to you where those guys saw when those guys surrounded you and you're like let me just fight him oh no that's that's like I know that was just a little but I understand that but I'm saying what I'm saying is how do you become a dude that is trusted by these guys to say hey this is the kind of guy that could get five to ten thousand actually you know do this big big job for us like how do you earn their trust I mean I don't think you ever do because even that even them they're um disposable too they're they're they're all the people that I knew over there I'll say like 85 are gone already they're either their M.I.A they're dead they're they're over they got indicted they're over here in the U.S doing life like like their shit's not even guaranteed nothing's guaranteed over there you know like the cops are corrupt and then they got good cops and then they got cops that don't know they're corrupt they're doing their job but they're working for someone the work but they don't know because their boss works for somebody so their buses go go hit that house but they're really hitting their enemy's house somebody else is you know so how many years are you there I was there 15 years wow so you know in those right yeah that's what's that you was on the run during that whole 15 15 years and you know the the whole time I was I was I dropped 80 albums I was recording music crazy when I was over there you got the pressure of being on the Run being wanted for murder and then is there also there's also this pressure of your enemies or the things that you've done coming back to haunt you over there yeah no there is and at the same time it's like you're living your life like like [ __ ] that happens in your in regular you got to deal with all the life things too like regular life [ __ ] like life things were happy happening over there like regular life things you know it's not all like [ __ ] Narco season two and [ __ ] you know it's not all that it's it's life and then and love and sadness and all these like things that mess with your heart and life's changing and you're changing too you know my boy here came out the feds I met him over there and um he's like hey we have a group where it's all all nothing but homies but they learned all the ceremonies they're in the feds directly from the lakota's from the Seuss and we run our own sweat lodge over here and uh and and you know we're inviting you we it's private no one's not allowed to come but we're inviting you you know because he knew that I was all [ __ ] up this [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I had a lot of problems so they invited me to the sweat lodge right and when I get there they tell me you know what we're gonna run this sweat we're gonna run this sweat for your sister and um we you know I I had to sweat it in a lot of years because I had sweater with the with the Lakota as long as my boy wrote a book and he was real close with the Lakota so he took me to a sweat with them a long time ago so I go to the sweat and um man [ __ ] was hot as [ __ ] like satanic level like tell me about that we're going through that so we go to the sweat you know round one kicks in boom and [ __ ] gets hot as [ __ ] where are you like I'm in Baja I'm like right on the beach this area is called Baja Malibu walk us through like people who don't know what a sweat lodge is like sweat lodge is like this it's like a ceremony it's like this um they're calling nippies in Spanish they and you know where it's basically like like like they put these Hot Rocks they heat these rocks and they put them in the middle and then they pour the water on it and then it's like a ceremony inside it's sort of like the tint but it's like round it's almost like an igloo but it's like they make it out of Willow because you could ban Willow and then they cover it all with blankets and then in there you know they're drumming they're singing these songs and then you know you like invoking the ancestors and basically it represents going back into the womb so you go back into the womb or the Earth and then you sweat and then and then you know a lot of things happen in there like you know it's psychological too because you start hearing voices in your like me that's my experience I don't know if everybody like me I'm in there and all my problems like all my demons come out in round one because it was hot as [ __ ] how long is round one maybe about 20 25 minutes as hot as [ __ ] so the whole sweat's about like two hours you know because in between they take a break they open up the wind the the door and then while they're bringing in the next set of rocks so every round was getting hotter and hotter you know and like by round three I'm out I'm almost laid out on the floor like I've been shot or something you know and and so I'm saying like it's like you're out to me it's like a test because some people tap out you know but you're not allowed to tap out with the homies because it's like almost like a sign of disrespect you know like nah we're in here because basically you're going like the way they they the way I learned it from them they're in there to suffer for to suffer and and and you know so you're in their suffering you know you're in there like for the ones that were here the ones that are here now and the ones that are yet to come and and you know your ancestors and all this stuff you're hearing all these things but all your problems pop out right there for me and they're in I feel like they were in the sweat lodge with me you know and then um like I said they ran that sweat for my sister so every like man we're gonna we're here to sacrifice and and they kept on bringing on my sister and and you know it was beautiful it was hard it was man that's one of the hottest sweats I've ever been in you know like I could name three and that was one other one it was hot as [ __ ] and and it took everything out of me everything everything like basically almost dragged me out of there after it was done and then it was right next to the ocean so we just go jump into the ocean and um and it's crazy because nine months later my sister had her son Matthias and we always call him the sweat lodge baby yeah nine months later exactly you know so and and it was things like that like spirituality started coming into the picture you know and and I already have been initiated into the African religions one by where Nigeria the other one by way of the Congo Angola whatever and and they're giving me hope I was new so I was like well what to say what's what the God's talking about am I straight oh yeah if you do this if you do that and and you know but it's full of like um charlatans too you know so but me I'm a reader I like to read and study you know so I started like you know studying and find out that it's real practical just because it's it's like it's your Reuben or spoken in Nigerian you think you're hearing all this [ __ ] you're like the [ __ ] are they saying you know it sounds like like how somebody would say he's talking Chinese or what but you know you're in this African language but when you really break it down and you translate it it's just you're just venerating like like like the world like everything in it the water the the air the you know fire like you just you know you're just some giving thanks to the gods for all these all these things that we we don't even give a [ __ ] about them you know we take them for granted and [ __ ] and and then so you know I started sweating and I started I ended up sweating like for like 76 years seven years I don't know like once a month I was sweat I would just sweat it I I got like addicted to it like you still do it yeah I mean I don't do it as much as as as as I used to and as I can because now it's in Bala so it's it's a mission for me but they're still running on the same everything's still everything's still running you know but I think that was like a change and then all these dudes that I'm around they're all spiritual but all these dudes are ex Killers X dope dealers all of them all of them had all of them that came from the feds 125 130 115 110 all of them had double digit numbers like behind behind them you know so and I like that you know what even the African religion is like I told you like it'd be like hitman's prostitutes [ __ ] you know government officials in the religion I'll be like man I like this because there's nobody tripping on nobody I could be next to this guy he don't care and now I'm homies with a [ __ ] Governor's assistant and I'm my boy's a cop right here and now this [ __ ] I'm using all this [ __ ] to my advantage now like it's keeping me up on game because I'm still a fugitive I'm still got all these issues still going on but now it's like now they're my people another like they're like giving me insight and and hey well look it's about to get hot right now there's this and that or or or I just listen without asking and I hear things you know and I'm like oh [ __ ] it's time for me to you know go on the ground again for a little bit or whatever you know in your life I see you did a lot of soul searching yeah trying to find direction have it ever been that moment in that 15 years where you thought it was over with yeah it's coming up but I still have problems so I still have to keep that I have to keep that in the cut just in case I needed Plan B Plan B I always have to be in here somewhere in case I needed to reach for Plan B so so plan B being I'm gonna take the fight to them yeah yeah if if I have no choice because sometimes they'll you get cornered in over there if you don't do plan a you're most likely going to get cornered in with Plan B so and sometimes you do plan a and they know where you're going so plan B chases you to wherever you your destination I didn't say but a lot of people are dying through this whole time you know they're dying they're going M.I.A a lot a lot of things are happening you know and and still the government's still there I'm still hearing rumors from over here from the U.S I'm talking to people and they're like man they they you know they hit the homie's house and they were asking about you you know this happened this happened and your name keeps like so I'm that all that [ __ ] has me worried so two months in my my daughter's mom's like I can't deal with this [ __ ] here's your daughter I'm out so now I have a baby a baby girl and now I'm on I'm like now it's like I have the thing in the diaper bag with my daughter I'm on the stroller with the [ __ ] right there like I'm and and that's when I go out because I'm not really trying to go out you know only when I have to and with a pistol and a baby bag right yeah the thing in the baby bag the diaper bag so and you know and and sometimes I'll have the thing on my daughter's back in the baby chair I'll put in the chair and put it because over there in Mexico it's like you might make a right turn there's a [ __ ] military checkpoint right there they have like makeshift checkpoints everywhere you know so you never know so I would wing it man like I'll go like a good instinct do I keep it on me right next to me or should I get through this point if I if I can make it across this part then I'll pull it I'll have it with me so I'll I'll like try to be something but do you know at this point specifically who it is that's coming for you yeah yeah you know who they are yeah yeah there's there's and then it's crazy because I had this this dude that I thought he was my friend you know he I mean I didn't grow up with him you know but I met him over there whatever it was cool and then um there's a different situation and um I already had my daughter and she was about like I don't know maybe two going on three you know we're I have my own my own house I live in a gated community like gated Street one time this do see over there everybody sheisty in it's almost like here it it I mean it is like here humans are humans no matter where they're at you know but he planted a seed in in another friend of mine's head that I should be God that I should be killed so I knew I knew a guy that was a squad leader he was a killer he had a whole team he was like a SWAT team dude I mean he wasn't a real SWAT team but he had a SWAT team he was trained like a SWAT team he had a whole crew and then they sent one of his guys to my house one day and this guy he he was below me like he would do errands for me you know and he came and he was asking and right when he asked like the second question first question second question I was like oh [ __ ] what the [ __ ] going on right here you knew it I knew it I would I knew I knew I was on the list man I was just like I was just tripping out it was just going through my head it got resolved like four or five days later you know they killed it it ended but but I was hurt like I said I was like man that's [ __ ] up [ __ ] this fool I never [ __ ] with this fool changed my numbers and everything right later this dude this individual pops up in my story again and this time some [ __ ] happened to him but he has he has no way to get like he has no way to get his run back no way so he's like I'll go to Rabbit [ __ ] rabbit and it was strange because I went to church that day because you know what like I was just I was like a pagan I believed in everything like I was I was all involved in African religions I was sweating I was doing everything and and you know my mom she's Christian you know so like in my head I I could hear my mom's voice telling me man you better take that little girl to church she need you guys need God and um you know I could that's how my mom is she always bringing up church for everything man you need to pray more you need to go to church man God don't like this so I would just take my daughter to church right and it was it was this big ass Church it used to be like a boxing arena so the the seats went down like this and it was like modern as [ __ ] it was even on online so I would never sit with the people I would you catch if if I ever pop out on some of this footage I probably am because they would sometimes like swing the camera like this and I'll do some [ __ ] like this like oh here it comes I'll do this [ __ ] I'll be in the corner by myself like there'll be probably like 200 seats between me and all the people and the people that the church dudes would always be like man you need to sit over there with the people I'm like no I'm not you need to or when I ask you to leave I'm like [ __ ] it I'll leave and then they'll be like no no just stay and then I would go to this church right sometimes I wouldn't pay attention I I just being there texting doing all my business they're trying to get money and do whatever inside the church and it was good for me because I could hide in there I was hiding in plain sight and I had some friends there at the church and I remember they did this like Christian baptism it's different than a Catholic baptism they in Christians they like present the child to God or something and they they were like it was it was happening one day you know but I couldn't do it because the shit's online this is a modern ass church this should look like a show like I could do a rap show here like big ass screen light all kinds of [ __ ] you know but I couldn't do it so I told my friend like hey can you and your wife do my daughter like go in and present her to God like I need that and they're like yeah yeah we got you so even that was part of my my soul searching because sometimes I go to church and I feel like God was like talking directly to me like they'll say some [ __ ] and I'll be like what the [ __ ] man this one knows what I'm going through like he'll like say [ __ ] like yeah I know it seems [ __ ] up right now but you know you're gonna make it out of here and then he'll like I like [ __ ] out of Psalms because like it just gives me like 42 like what I was telling you about the Quran I would read the Quran I just be feel strong when I read the Quran because I would read it like that's how I would read the Quran me I don't know you know and and and it just I was I was just reading I became an Avid Reader it was almost like I was in prison because my house was my cell I wouldn't really come out I had to jam all in my house had a PlayStation room in there recording studio I came out when I had to and I just was exercising and reading exercising reading exercising reading making music and making music so this one day I go to church right it's on a Sunday we had this little routine church and then we go to this like [ __ ] fake boy or local right and it was bomb go get it we eat [ __ ] my daughter take a nap she go to her room and go to my room take naps and then we'd come out after like I'll go out there and play with her and you know on a little bicycle whatever right so I'm like man I'm gonna wash my car I had this SUV so I'm [ __ ] watching it I have the thing and the the thing open in the back right and then it's a gated street so Sunday my street was dead nobody would go out no cars would come in like you know fools were hungover I don't know out of town whatever and um boom two SUVs one SUV pulled two of them but one pulls up directly in front of the gate and they're just looking at me and I'm like man so I keep washing the car and every time I look like I try to like do some [ __ ] like that like out the corner of my eye [ __ ] looking at me like grilling me giving me dirty looks like say something where's your daughter at right there playing right in front of me like she's just a little girl she's playing so they're just looking at me and I'm like man [ __ ] and I'm acting dumb I'm washing the car so I gave my daughter put her inside I go to my kitchen I jump up on the counter I go over the cabinets and I get the thing and I bring it out and I put in the back under the towels and I keep washing the car and they're just [ __ ] looking at me and I was like like maybe five or ten minutes I don't know how many minutes have passed but it seems long because they're just looking at me and it's obvious there's no one on the streets and then what they're waiting for is someone to come in so the gate could open so they could drive through or you know vice versa leave or come in so I know this I'm like man these fools are waiting to come in but I'm thinking like man I'm tripping maybe it's not for me because I've been paranoid by this time [ __ ] over a decade everything means something to me everything everything adds up to something else and and and I already been a decade by this time you already you know you got callous you know things and [ __ ] you know how things work and how things operate it's about to go down like [ __ ] so you start thinking and and so they just leave I'm tripping it wasn't for me maybe they're at the wrong Street and they just called them oh you're on the wrong Street come come down two more streets but they never come back up so now another car comes it looks at me and it does a U-turn and now it's on my side of the gate so the dude gets out and uh he's calling me he's like hey to come out there I really recognize them I get close and it's the dude that try to have me killed the first time from before so I look at them and um I'm like nah it's hot out there with the what they call them the people so peoples are the state police those are the ones that catch fugitives they have some like an iPad where you put your hand on it it looks like on some Interpol [ __ ] or something I I never really seen it but I just heard it from other people that were telling me they got that they got that iPad where you put your hand on it and they had some [ __ ] where they like even if you race everything out of your phone they'll plug this [ __ ] back in it'll bring everything right back up they had all this like technology you know and and these dudes were like Denzel Washington it's like training day like and met and they roll in two trucks so it's like eight of them so imagine eight Denzel Washington's jumping out on you and [ __ ] interrogating they're all asking you the same question in a different way where you live at and they'll go to your house Rob your house depends right so I tell them it's hot with the peppers I Buzz them in he comes in and um he starts trying to play with my daughter and I'm like man something ain't right like why is he here why is he in my house like why the [ __ ] is this who here he's trying to play with my daughter he's like beating around the bush and then he's telling my daughter kick kick punch because I you know my daughter used to watch me train so it kicks you do it when she was little and I'm like man get the [ __ ] away from my daughter like in my head like fool I know him he's shyster as [ __ ] so this so then he starts he asked me for one of my boys hey what's up with your boy have you talked to him like nah talk to him like in three or four months why what's up he's like man some [ __ ] happened so basically some stuff went missing that was like uh half a meal ticket like um like and some change it went missing right and then he's like man you know you know I'm not with these people no more I'm with these people he's with a different set of people now you know people on the border they know they're going to hear they say I know what I'm talking about so the people that was they weren't they didn't have that power no more it was more this new crowd that came in so he's like I'm with them and I'm I'm telling them like that's cool man I'm on the sidelines I don't I'm not tripping or none of that you know I do my [ __ ] on my own I don't and then he's just going on and on and then he goes and tells the next thing he tells me is like look man look rabbit I'm gonna tell you some [ __ ] it's gonna [ __ ] you up but I have no choice and I and he goes I told on your boy to the pfp to the Mexican federal police so when he tells me that they're corrupt that's nothing my boy was in the U.S so I'm like who gives a [ __ ] like that's like telling on a [ __ ] security guard like telling some information to a [ __ ] security guard like what the [ __ ] is he gonna do nothing but then he goes I told your boy to the pfp and I gave him up to the DEA when he said that oh man I just had like a outer body experience oh and by now I have the [ __ ] in my pocket you know I'm holding my daughter's hand I have it in my pocket and I'm just like watching this body language up and down I'm just reading this fool like like second he goes I'm because I'm hearing like voices and my shit's talking to me it's like kill this fool when he tells me that man killed his fool but it's like how are you gonna kill him on the street gated Street what I'm neighbors are probably even looking out the window you know because Mexican people are nosy like that they you know looking up the blind see what the [ __ ] going on out there you know want to know what's it's probably an old lady all up in the shed you know but but when he tells me this it [ __ ] me up it like like I [ __ ] took the air out of my chest because I never heard nobody say that you know like I'm a snitch and I snitch on your boy but I had to let me explain why he's telling me this [ __ ] and I'm like what and I'm like man and he goes you and then he tells me you got to help me you gotta help me get the [ __ ] back or they're gonna kill me and my wife and I'm like man they ain't doing nothing I can help you with you know I don't got nothing to do with it I want to be involved in it I'm not involved in it and he's just telling me all this [ __ ] and then you know over there everybody got like five six phones you know so if I if I were to talk to you I had a phone just for you one football one for Prime that's it and in case something it didn't mix with all the other lines and I could just throw them shits away or break the chip so this dude has all his phones and all his phones are going off so I'm like man I I know this but after that you know you know this food's trash you know so then um he's like his body language he's like turns around he turns around on me and he's like hold up hold up he's talking to the SUV and the dead end they came together back then I I just assumed and I had speculations but now I know his people and I know the other side of the story so I talked to his people they're like man they can't get you they want to kidnap you kill you and your daughter all that [ __ ] and um and then he's like so he's on the phone he's like hold up hold up hold up and he's trying to like he keeps turn giving his back to me and I'm like man she's like I just like I know what to do because my daughter she's little she can't see that and and and and I'm already on cruise control I'm not like I said I have planned it's gonna plan B's plan to pop up right now you know I'm on cruise control I'm I'm over here thinking about the gods and and I'm reading books and and [ __ ] the seven hermetic laws and and I'm all into [ __ ] Sun Tzu and and I'm all into you know Machiavelli and I'm reading all these books and and you know The Four Agreements and I'm on some other [ __ ] you know I'm trying to be on some other [ __ ] like and like teaching all this [ __ ] to my daughter too you know and like taking her to the sweats I mean she wouldn't go in there but she'd be with her with me and like you know other ceremonies and [ __ ] like that you know so finally whatever he left and I was [ __ ] I was going crazy so I called my Madrina this is like this is like a a Santeria priest right and I and I'm like and you know I need to see you so I head up to Otay which is right there in TJ by the airport she's like get over here right now and go over there she does a [ __ ] reading on me she's like man you got death on your head look it says it right here iku is deaf she's like you got to go on your head but we could fix this [ __ ] so don't trip go home you're gonna be all right I'm like man I ain't [ __ ] I'm over here so that night was that was like one of the hardest nights for me because I didn't sleep obviously and then my daughter I'd say this on the podcast I was because I can't like you know so my daughter um you know she had her own room but she would sleep on my bed you know she always knock out in my room so she crawls into my bed that night and you know I like cover her with a little baby blanket and then I put a bulletproof vest on top of her I'm wearing a bulletproof vest I have the chopper and I have another Chopper and I have some handguns and I'm just I'm like this I'm that I'm that Mexican old lady now I'm like this by the blinds and I'm just because I could see the street from my from the from the from my room and probably been to my path he knows how it looks so from my window I can see all the way to the street so I'm just in the window I'm walking back and forth I go down I'm like my plan was like if they came I was gonna put my daughter on my neighbor's roof come back down real quick and just go at it with these Foods you know because I had cameras too so I had cameras in all kinds of places so I just was like had that had the iPad had all that [ __ ] and I just was looking and then you know like I just felt weak not weak but like I just felt like um like we not might we might not make it through the night you know and I just was feeling like I felt like taking down something felt like taking my daughter to the Border turning her in and turning myself in because it was just too much like I was just like losing I was kind of losing my mind because it it felt real personal because he it was like he knew me I knew him I knew it was most likely going to happen next and I was just waiting for it so so it's like you're waiting to be killed and you know the the clock is going slow slow so I'm just like you know I'm not like like [ __ ] crying but you know my tears are coming every time I look at my daughter my [ __ ] tears are coming out and then I get mad like man [ __ ] this fool come I want him to come but then I see her turn over and she's a she's a little girl you know and and she's like she's back then she was real girly and [ __ ] like princesses and [ __ ] like that and she like them toys Monster High and all this you know from those days I don't know I just was like I don't know if I probably pray to God I probably pray to my gods and I just was like I wanted it to happen almost like come let's get this [ __ ] over with and [ __ ] you know like what do I do so the whole night from about like 8 P.M 9 P.M to like [ __ ] I didn't sleep until they came the next day the Madrina and we ended up doing this crazy ceremony where where um it's almost like you trade you feed the ground uh like you do a it's like a sacrifice you feed the ground blood instead of your blood it gets fed you know the blood of an animal and and then she was just like you'll be all right she did another reading look you cool it's crazy cuz and then like three days later the dude leaves a phone number on my door a paper a little kid told me he had some guy um told me to put it right here and I'm and it had his initial of his first name of his nickname so I here I am again walking back and forth from my kitchen to the living room back and forth like should I call it should I use my phone nah cause he I'm like if this was already with the DEA and the and the federal police my shit's gonna be recorded and then I'm thinking he's gonna just snitch on me so I could get busted you know I I don't know all these things were just like that was a mess you know in my mind like mentally I was a mess but I had a grip on it because if not I would have you know did something stupid but I think I come from the pay phone but I remember when I called them he finally answers and he and he's like hey there's your new number and I'm like yeah but but it was it was a pay phone number he's like don't trip we could talk the line is clean and I'm like all right yeah yeah right but all right what's up and he's like look man I know what I told you [ __ ] you up or you need to help me because if not me and my wife are going to end up dead and that's almost like man you know what you take care of yourself bro I can't and I just clicked on them and I just went back home and then I heard he was he he crossed back on into the U.S you know a little bit short time after so my life got peaceful again but this dude pops up again on me right before I get arrested in 2016. yeah I got arrested in 2016. I knew he was back in town because he had gotten in trouble with the feds again see I didn't know this but now I didn't talk to his people so I know I put all this [ __ ] together I'm like man and even even his people tell me my fool you weren't you weren't in Crazy danger like that fool was pressing he was pressing the people to snatch you up badly like he wanted you know half a male is half a male man supposed to be dying for 500 over there you know half a meal is a lot and um why why did him having you get killed he just wanted like he just wanted some [ __ ] satisfaction some some kind of paper what did that have to do with the money nothing nothing he by killing me I mean maybe you know what he was probably gonna probably try to do the kid at me torture me have me call the US and call my peoples call the neighborhood or whatever thinking that they would send some of it back or send some or all of it get it all back that's what I'm thinking you know but but in the end the end result was gonna be the end result you know I wasn't going to walk away from there I doubt it because he knows oh Cornejo is a [ __ ] ninja let's fool come back and get me you know like I gotta I would have to get rid of him you know and if I do something to his daughter and his food and what would you do if someone would mess with your kids or your kids or you know you become a different person you know you don't you can't yeah but but in 2016 he was back over there and um one day I come home but I didn't go into my street I went to the street across the street because the U.S or no over there in Mexico and um I didn't know I was already under surveillance they were already watching me I didn't know this so I go across the street and there was this truck parked in front of my house and the dude that was there was a he's a big he was a big dude he was like a boss and this fool responsible for like over like 200 murders or 300 murders he's parked in front of my house so again I'm like man I told the The Gardener the security guard Gardener slash everything handyman from the street across I'm like hey how long that truck been right there he's like three hours four hours he's just sitting there texting but I had different cars so they had probably told them this was in this but I was in someone some soccer mom [ __ ] you know so he didn't and then I went into the other street so I'm my friend had a three-story house so I'm in the on the third story just looking at the dude he don't even know I'm watching him I'm watching them all that [ __ ] and um when I seen him I knew that I was in danger again because that dude doesn't pop up that dude be on the news he's he's dangerous as [ __ ] not because he'll do it but he has like he has the the Manpower like to to make some [ __ ] happen shortly after that I got I got they came and they got me and I ended up back over here in the U.S they got me um a few I think like two days after Thanksgiving November 2016. I was going to turn myself in January 2nd but that was another thing because I hadn't told my daughter by now my daughter's like seven that [ __ ] we're gonna get split up and we never been split up like that so that [ __ ] was like [ __ ] with me I couldn't even I was just all [ __ ] up and it's crazy because two nights before I got arrested that night my daughter see by this time now her mom was back in the picture you know so we're like you know she'll stay some days with her mom some like most of the time with me some days with her mom so I remember that night my daughter came in like two days before she came in and she told me I love you daddy she gave me a kiss and she went right back to her room and then like five minutes later she came back and she did she did it like three or four times in a row she kept coming back and giving me a kiss and saying good night love you Daddy and go back to a room and I was like what the [ __ ] I love this little girl she's [ __ ] dope like where's this coming from like we're tight but she was just being like you know a little girl you know and and and and that [ __ ] was [ __ ] with me even more because I'm like how am I gonna that we're about to be split up how can I do this and see look a month before this would happen I was in the back in my in back of my house I had this spot where I would do all my like rituals and stuff like that my spirit I practice my spirituality and I was back there and my boy the one that was in the feds the one invited me to sweat lunch for the first time he was a whim he would help me so we're doing and I'm and I'm doing like divination I do a reading and that [ __ ] tells me that's it your time is up it's time for you to go and face your issues and I was like Ah hell no not yet and I was like What if I bring you you know I'll bring you a goat two roosters and um some make you some animals you know because it's like animal sacrifice and it was like no you're gonna go get me that anyways and told me like you're gonna go get me those animals anyways and uh but don't worry I got you I'm um you you'll be out and I was but see you you never know because you know you you as much as a Believer you are you're skeptical you know like or because just because of life you know you life is like It's Tricky you know sometimes and so you don't you don't you don't know what to expect two weeks after that this queue induced down from Mexico City he's this big santero Oba he's a priest and um he does me the ceremony where I receive this this deity called batala and then I received Allah it's like a whole day ceremony and he does a reading and then this readings everything's cool till he gets to the end and he goes oh [ __ ] someone who you thought was your friend was never your friend and he's already betrayed you so I'm like what the [ __ ] so I don't really have friends so I'm like is it the gardener is it my boy is it the [ __ ] swimming coach is it the the like like I just had like a handful of people I really [ __ ] with you know so so I'm just think like that [ __ ] was in my head and then my daughter I was a mess my boys ran a sweat for me they knew there was this tattoo shop where they would hang out at and I would go over there sometimes low-key and they're like I want to run a sweat for you so you could get your mind cleared but that was one of the hardest sweats I ever went to too because I just had so much [ __ ] like um see there's 15 years I got a lot of weight on my back I haven't slept in 15 years wow like good night's sleep I hadn't I didn't sleep till I hit the [ __ ] County until I hit Wayside you know you go to the county process it takes like two or three days then you end up in Wayside that's when I slept three days in a row I didn't sleep in like 50 yeah I'm not gonna say I didn't sleep but I slept like one night you know I always wanted here so I was just like resting but not like unless I was [ __ ] drunk or some [ __ ] or and I got [ __ ] up and I knocked out but how did they come for you like how when when you're getting real Okay so my boy Chris he's a santero too he's a he's a priest he's on a bar in the African religions he's like hey there's these African dudes down here and um want to come here Pat and have a jam session and do like a ritual but like with the drums you know and me the I love the drums like the drums they like put me in the trance so I'm like yeah yeah yeah so I started cleaning up my pad and everything right and but for like a month I started seeing cars because I had cameras across the street all over the place and at this point there's you're not really putting in any work for the cartel anymore right I mean no I'm not I'm not see look I was never like direct with the cartel I was just always direct with dudes that got money independent however you could but I knew a lot of cartel dudes from different cartels I I knew you you just get to know them you know or or because oh they're even dudes flip a lot like he might be from this one for three years and then oh these ones are going down and these guys made to a deal now you're over there son I might have known you being from three cartels and [ __ ] right you know so I'm on cruise control I I just I have plan B in the cut that's all I just want to like protect my daughter like anybody like you know I'm saying at the end of the day we just want to protect the ones we love and that's it and and try to make it and I was gonna turn myself in I'm in love with my girl all these things are in my head like feelings and emotions and and I'm getting older now so I don't think the same now I'm like so I'm cleaning I got a big black trash bag and it's a gated street right so the the trash bin you got to come out the gate make a left and then over there and then you gotta unlock it and then you throw it in you lock it back up so right before I was gonna go I'm like nah let me check the camera so I get the the like the iPad thing and I start checking all the cameras and there's a [ __ ] car right there with two dudes sitting in it and I'm like and they don't know I have a camera right on top of them so I could see straight down that they're texting and they're running [ __ ] on a notepad they're taking notes I can't see what they're texting because they like 4K like right now or 6K or whatever but I could see what they're doing so I'm waiting and waiting I'm looking out the window I'm just like man these [ __ ] won't leave so like an hour passes by I'm like man I'm tripping I've been tripping for 15 years it's probably nothing I tell myself that it's just my [ __ ] the PTSD so here I come with the trash bag right when I get to the gate I buzz it open and then I make that left and I look out the corner of my eye and they're [ __ ] looking at me like crazy you know I got my glasses on but I'm like all right these foods are straight looking at me so I don't even put the track the trash in the in the trash can I just throw it by the side and then I buzz it again so the gate starts closing so that way I could get in in case of anything put this [ __ ] from right as soon as I do that from The Click to me getting the rest is probably like 15 seconds 10 seconds now it's going already it's about to happen so as I come through the gate I take about one to maybe two steps I just see a big ass Dodge Ram coming straight at me boom it knocks the gate off the rail so I jump out the way because it's a big ass and it's sort of like a little down slope so the doors coming at me the truck that's just flying out there so when I jump out the way the two fools in the car they're already running towards me food tackles me and I hear him say cuff his feet he's gonna kick because like I didn't mentioned this but before there was like this there's like a Mexican YMCA over there in TJ right and I have met this instructor he was a shito Japanese karate and and I have become his assistant instructor I was I did Japanese uh karate almost four or five years so I would like we would we would teach all the like at-risk youth that's how that's how I felt like I was giving back because these were all like Hood kids they had no money he's supposed to come with like 20 pesos a month which is equal to like a dollar and I'll put the rest for them or I'll do you know and I was buying all the head gear you know and like just pitching in for them because they were like Street kids you know so I'm like so these guys already have seen they they were they had their surveillance on me they were watching me telling me all that [ __ ] so when they tackled me I heard that cuff his feet he's gonna kick so they cuffed my feet when they attacked me to the ground but then they like put the other you know guns on my head don't move like in Spanish you know don't move [ __ ] will smoke your ass which is really American nah they were Mexican Americans can't go in the U.S like that they can't have guns and like the everything yeah could go in but they can't have guns they could just watch I'm sure like for Chapo and them they do go in but they're dressed as Mexican Marines or Mexican uh military because if you see when they get like big time dudes they're winning ski masks Mexican foods don't give a [ __ ] like whatever so what'd you feel I mean like what I thought it was I thought it was the dude that was parked outside my house I thought I was about to die so they get me because it's like a kidnapping they didn't show me no bad it happens it happened in an instant it's like an explosion the way it happened boom they snatched me up they cover my head I can't see throw me in the truck they cuff my feet to the bottom of the truck so I can't jump out and they're just holding my head down and they're just like trying to like Punk me like like I don't move you know like but in Spanish sound crazy you know like there's this and that and and then um we're gone and I could hear you know we're making by the way the engine revs up and I know we're making Labs rights because I drove around there so I know left right right left so I'm thinking oh they're gonna take me to a like uh they call Casas like security like like cartel fools or cops have them where they do all their dirty work they'll take you to one of them pads and they'll go to work on you you know so I'm thinking it's crazy because my boy that runs a sweat lodge he will run him super hot and Hammer he told us one day I run him like this so if case one day you guys get tortured you guys can handle it so that [ __ ] popped up in my head like man we're about to go to one of those pads and I've been in them pads I'd seen what they do to people I've seen what happens to they drilling you they [ __ ] chainsawing you you know anything skill saw you a lot of [ __ ] happens to you you know and um but after a few minutes whatever whatever I seen a packet on the floor of papers you know they uncover my head I see the packet I see my face right there but it don't matter because the the bad guy is doing telling you too so you never know but then that's when you tell he's like hey in Spanish he's like what's up and I didn't like reply to him in any semi-real name and I didn't reply to him and then they're like look bro like we don't even give a [ __ ] about you for reals like the US came over here they [ __ ] they hit us with the folder he's there can you bring them to us now we don't care about because they they don't I know I knew cops over there that will catch fugitives so I would I was asking questions he's like man I don't give a [ __ ] what the us talking about we do it when it's just like they already told on them someone told on them and it's obvious and we got to get them and turn them over to the U.S but these fools honestly the way they got me and I was with them riding around in the truck they didn't go and turn me in right away these fools were scheming they got all kinds of [ __ ] going on hey meet us at the spot is everything ready like this [ __ ] was like straight like training day you know when they're getting ready to hit that house that were the one dudes that that older dude and they're getting ready and they meet somewhere I was at a meeting point with them somewhere I was just in the truck but they're like meeting up and and and I know the language so they don't care about me so then you know they take you to um to the command center whatever and that's that picture that picture where I'm where I'm like that with no shirt on that's where they took that picture but they they were they were kind of cool because it's somewhere along there they let me make a phone call and go can I make can I call my daughter she's in school and they're like What's the number and I don't know and I gave him the name they Googled it they um they got the number they called it the principal answered and I was like yeah so they wouldn't got her and then my daughter got on the phone and I'm like Mommy um something happened and the police got me they're going to take me back to where Grandma's at and my daughter started screaming and crying so I you know I should like weakened me right there you know to hear scream that way because I never heard her scream like that that's like if you see a [ __ ] goal like ah some [ __ ] [ __ ] and then crying her first initial reaction was scream and then cried no no no no no and I told her like well you know what you're a big girl don't worry tell the principal to call your mom that you want to go home and then I'm gonna have Grandma and I'm gonna have uh your deal your tia they're going to call you but relax calm down and she was listening to me I calmed her down but she was still crying and that's what happened and then then they take you to the Border this is long concrete walk where like where you're like you know your waist you shackle from the waist you know you're like you do that walk they always when every time they catch fugitives you see them they do that walk and they turn you over to like eyes Homeland Security uh I think with CBP something border patrol they're all right there [ __ ] um they sent me down in the lobby it was crazy because it was like regular people they take their they took all their [ __ ] from me I'm just sitting there I don't even think I was cuffed and the dude the dude's like what's your name and it's crazy because I didn't I didn't use my name in 15 years and you know you're social and I'm like yeah hold on hold on and I was trying to remember how it goes he's like nah there's nothing here and I was like oh [ __ ] maybe not even want it what the [ __ ] maybe I'm like man I feel stupid if I was on the run for 15 years and I wasn't wanted what the [ __ ] and it's just something you just would sit there want to see and he was checking and now we're passed by all of a sudden he's like oh this guy needs to be over there and they came and they cuffed me again they put me they cuffed me to a bench and then I'm on this bench and there was like a senior like this old white dude like one of those like [ __ ] a dick you know and then he's like he comes in he's like what the [ __ ] is this guy doing here uh-uh this dude needs to be in a Cell already this is not like this dude's not here for like some drunk in public in Mexico this is being there so they that was the first cell I went into once I went into that cell I was like oh man this is it that's how it starts look at this [ __ ] you know [ __ ] metal sink and toilet you know what what a cell looks like you know and I'm in there I'm just like [ __ ] let me do some push-ups because it was freezing they had that AC blowing so I'm like and I had a hoodie and everything and then like two hours later um LAPD the The Fugitive task force pulls up like they had they were in Vegas um sitting on somebody trying to catch somebody within Vegas and they got the call hey we got Conejo so they smashed all the way to TJ and they they came and they just like picked me up and then we drove to 77th division oh wow so we're [ __ ] um I remember we're driving on the I think it was the five maybe the eight or five I don't know one of those but I remember I'm just like looking at all these like Red Robin um Carl's Jr I'm just seeing all this [ __ ] on the way there I'm in the little like minivan with one chair there's one chair in the back and the dudes in the back and he's just like hey don't [ __ ] around let's just make it a smooth ride but I'm like cuffed like this so I can't do nothing you know really and and in my head I'm like you know like it was kind of like almost like a sign of relief like that was just so many years of all that weight on me you know so it's just like I wasn't happy but but I was just like in nostalgic that drive because we made it from over there to to 77th in one hour they were smashing we were like a caravan like three cars and you know right there in San Clemente they got that other little checkpoint right there that shit's never [ __ ] open I mean that shit's never closed like they were out there that day so we pulled up they flashed their lives they did some kind of symbols flashed a bachelor like go go go go go go boom we get to 77th division cold ass night I remember those colds chilly one of those like it was November so it was kind of you know like that cold air 77 is [ __ ] wild you step in there and I'm just like ah it's a [ __ ] crack cake about to get processed next to me like all these weird ass dudes and [ __ ] and and the process starts you know I go to the day I find I finally end up in a sale by myself I'm like can I use the phone they brung me down I only knew one number because you know I memorized my girl's number so I call it she gives me a couple other numbers I start calling they put me in like a little tank at 77 so I'm calling any number I can't hey do me a three-wheel call it give me a number whatever I go back to my cell you know I think it's becoming the next day or it does become the next day and they're like hey um we're gonna clean your cell we're gonna move you to this other cell so I had a boy that he was on the Run 20 years they had caught him two months before me off of Adams too like Adams and you know Maple and you know all those right there and when they took him to 77 there's a thing called Perkins they'll put an informant in your cell with you it's a it's like a tactic they they use Perkins I don't know if you it made a big deal because in in Orange County they were using it so they put an informant in there and they asked them all these questions and this fool ended up talking to us about his case tool he might have been that straight LAPD but me they put me in the cell with a dude that has all his arms full of tracks it's hero netting he has [ __ ] track marks all over his arms and they put me in there and I got a hoodie on I still got my street clothes and then um you know like the first thing he asked me he's like what you in here for rape he tells me like that I want to [ __ ] this fool up I'm like what and but I already knew like okay the camera's right there you know they could hear the speakers on the wall I'm like oh this is this where the setup starts and I'm just I'm like what oh no no no I apologize whatever he says some [ __ ] because he's seen that I like kind of like I'm about to stomp him out and then he starts asking me about people like he didn't know who I was I didn't introduce myself to him because I was like the [ __ ] this was a smoker what the [ __ ] I'm gonna tell him who I am or anything give him any info you know he's nobody to me and and then he starts bringing up people that I know he's like hey you know your homeboy this and I'm just like what how you know him and then he's like yeah you know he sells dope over here on this street he starts telling me he's throwing all these things out you know and I'm like oh is that right all right cool I'm not answering none of his [ __ ] well when I was at 77 my attorney already had came to see me it was already in place everything so he's like man just um you know fall back chill don't talk to nobody about your case I'm on it already don't worry about it I might not make it to the first court date so don't freak out if you don't see me there so I go to that first court day and I have a public defender it's a lady and I'm right tell her hey do I get bail and she's like nah there's no bail for death penalty cases and that says another out of body experience that [ __ ] [ __ ] me up you know she's like there is no bill for those type of cases and everybody in the tank everybody in the Tank's like oh [ __ ] like everybody's just quiet like oh because you know this damn it was some there was homies in there you know that I ended up running into them later you might know I'll tell you that you know him he's an old school homie you might know him because he was in the feds and um and then he knew me already everybody when I stepped in the county everybody knew me your name carried his weight yeah so they were just like man you know whatever whatever and then you know and that it was kind of strange for me too because like I said I haven't used my real name Jose in 15 years I've been this I've been that I've been all these other names and now I'm back to like I'm Jose again and then I never when I was on the run I'll never tell nobody I was from heartbeat so they call me Conejo rabbit whatever never I'll never I just like I because there was informants over there you know that would trade in for to get the green cards to come back to the U.S or you know like there was a lot a lot of like that going on so I go through the I go back now now from from core you go to the county and that's when you get processed into the county and I get to the county and everybody's like the same thing man this food's like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] rabbits right here with us or whatever and everybody's like Mom you're gonna go to high power they're not going to keep you in like GP you're gonna go up there and I'm like man I'm not that's it again I'm like I'm not a celebrity like that um you know I'm just like you guys I just I'm I'm just a regular Homie Ain't no ain't no like I don't feel like a celebrity or none of that [ __ ] and and nothing happened I end up you know you go in the county for like two or three days they moving you up and down and this this then they ship me out to Wayside super max and that's when I knocked out for like three days I was tired I was just super tired I just slept for like three days I just get up to eat and go right back to sleep and the homies was like cool with it you know because you're not really you're not supposed to like sleep in the day you know but they knew I had came from like basically like War you know I needed some rest and that was it I just I stayed in there for like a year and a half fighting as a matter of fact I never left the Raymond I went home from a Raymond I never went to preliminary they just postponed postpone postpone for a year and a half and then one day I went to court and uh my attorney shout out to us Stuart gold Farm she's crazy because I'll call Dave right I was calling Dave from the county so I called Dave one day and how do you know how did you find the same neighborhood and Dave grew up like two blocks away from me okay and so you knew rich and you knew all yeah yeah I used to train with Rich all that everything like when did you first meet him because he didn't go like he moved there from foster care right like he did he grow up down there he grew up like his later teenage years later but he's older than me yeah but Dave's I just see Dave walking down like he was like Dave was banged out back then honestly Dave you'll see Dave a white guy with a pen but see look there's a thing in the neighborhood there's a family of Brothers they're a white family and they were all from harpies somehow I don't know why but I always thought Dave was maybe he's from there he's one of their those Brothers all these fools have blue eyes they were all they're all but all these fools end up like Fool's got life and everything they were all banged out but I was just assumed Dave was a dude that just walked by like I see him I was a little kid you know so I see these faces you know later we connect later when I'm as I'm older you know and then um but like like I said I'll call Dave from the county right and this was like six months before I went home I didn't know I was going home I'm fighting life now now the death penalty is off now it's just life so I called Dave and Dave's like hey if you could come home before April you're on family crimes my new series he's telling me this [ __ ] and I'm like bro they're trying to give me life like I don't know if I'm gonna make it home by April but it's crazy because I came home in February like I came home before even that you know and and I you know I used to call them and say whatever and then um so one day my attorney came attorney visit like unexpectedly and I'm like oh [ __ ] I got my [ __ ] went to the attorney visit to the visiting room now and I was in medium North I only stayed in super max I would say if it wasn't a month it was two months two court dates at the most and then they shipped me to medium North it's still in the L.A county jail but it's called medium North and then um so they he came to see me and he goes I got good news and I got bad news and I was like man just tell me the bad news and he's like they just offered you three years and I'm like that's bad news that's good news because I already been here a year and a half I would only do like another 15 months and I'm home I'm like I'm taking it he's like the good news is that that tells me I could beat this [ __ ] I could get you a way better deal where I could beat this [ __ ] and they'll he always had told me he's like they have a marginal case at best against you you know and and I was never like cocky about it it felt a little bit good but I never like like I'm winning I never because there's dudes that that that felt like that and I remember there was this dude in there he was from Hoover I want to say they called them rat rat rat boy old school dude this dude had just he had went proper and beat a murder case wow and then they charged them with another one he's an old dude too and but he was like a [ __ ] lawyer and he ended up in my dorm but my dorm was uh a neighborhood dorm I think it was like the 60s or 30s it's like that that's the Crips that were in there so everybody would go to him and kind of like Get Some Like legal advice from him and and Amber had told him I had like sat down one of them I brought him some offerings like look I'm gonna tell you my case what you think and he's like man you're going home Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but you're going home I'm like all right cool so but still I never like um I never like took anything for granted I just try to stay humble stay out of the way and and you know like you know just be respectful and and just be quiet and just you know do my [ __ ] and focus on my case and um so the attorney goes and he tells me that and I'm like nah I'm just gonna take those three years and he's like nah he doesn't and and you know my he's Jewish you know and I was like I just I always feel like Jewish returns they're the best you know and like that's God's chosen people and [ __ ] like you know and and and at one point he's from he's really from like the East Coast so so he come like to he'd be like Shalom babe and I'll be like Shalom you know he like would pound on the glass and then um nah nah I'm taking him he was arguing with me I'm like no it's my [ __ ] I'ma take it so then you know me and my girl are making plans and [ __ ] like look we're over there like calculating if I take the three years and then I'm gonna have like this much time but if I do this one little program they're gonna knock off so I can maybe I could get out of there in 11 months 10 months the day before I go to my last court date I call them 2 I'm taking that deal Jose you're not yeah I am we're like going back and forth I'm taking that deal and he's like no he's just we're not bumping heads but we're just like a little tug of war right so I get to court the next day right see Courts at like nine I always be the first guy in court CCB I was in a Division I think 31 or 33 I'm not sure and um I would always be the first guy because I had a real attorney all the public defender guys like they might be in that tank for five hours before they they see him or three hours or some [ __ ] right so he comes in Shalom all that Shalom and then um he's like hey I got you a better deal you'll be home by 7 p.m tonight I'm like what the whole [ __ ] the whole tank was like it was like boom like and I'm like what is it well we're gonna please you down to voluntary manslaughter we're going to give you a six-year sentence suspended and five years probation and I'm like [ __ ] it let's go so I came out to corn and the judge like you sure you want to take this deal I'm like yeah my mom and my sister like my mom's crying my mom I can't even but my mom's telling myself and my sister like he's gonna come home today my mom was crying and my sister's like jittery like my sister the one I talked about before my older sister so then um you know we go under CCP I pop out in courtroom I think like 50 51 55 one of those and it's a different it feels different now the [ __ ] the tank is warm like everything changed I almost feel the sunlight like I'm like if everything feels happy like the judge is nice I mean not that the judge was [ __ ] up before but it's different now and it's crazy because there was this lady she used to write me she was like like Victory Outreach Christian lady but she was like [ __ ] psychic or prophetic or some [ __ ] she told me you're gonna go home your next court date you know and and you know I was like all right cool okay it's cool hopefully you know like God you know like hearing you and then there was it was crazy because it was a satanic dude in our dorm he was a homie it's kind of a j cat he was cool though you know but he was just like off but he was like the satanic dude and and he was in there because he had did a crime did some robberies and he was like I guess wanted and I think they caught him in in the park somewhere doing a ritual and [ __ ] on the floor or some some weird case it was a weird case but he was entertainment so I'll go [ __ ] with that for you know talk to him here's some here's some stories whatever and that food told me you're gonna go home in three court dates but this before that lady told me that yeah I went home on the third court date for when he told me so whatever you know they put me back in the tank tanks packed this before everybody starts going back to to you know meet himself meet him North super max wherever their housed at so it's the the the the the court tank is packed you know it gets hot in there be [ __ ] smiling and everybody's talking it's loud you say wow you can't even hear [ __ ] you know and I go to there's a payphone in there and I go call my boy and then they start splitting up they start taking you to another tank this tank that tank and then um I told my I told Jay I called my boy Jay that's it fool I signed I'll be home tonight [ __ ] is on do this [ __ ] now because you know we've been like like the whole time I was on the run like I'll be on the internet all that [ __ ] I'll see everything telling you when you guys were doing Fury they've reached out to me he reached out to my people to get at me because he had to he had two nightmares where I was getting chopped up in pieces and I called the UK you guys run I called the set while you guys were on the set so that's what I'm saying I'll see you shall or any of the homies that are actors and movies are doing even though I didn't know any of you guys but it'll make me feel homesick because I feel like man if I if I could be there I could [ __ ] with you I could [ __ ] with you guys you know even my boy prayers in Kat Von D like I used to watch I used to watch them separate and I and I just be like man if I could just be there I know I could [ __ ] with these people you know and and and you know I'm I'm not a [ __ ] like scary dude I don't think it's more intimidating nothing I feel like I'm pretty chill and yeah and and lay back that you know so I'm in that tank they start splitting people up and then there was a dude that was in my dorm and I had stacks of pictures Stacks like I have fans I used to get mail from all over the world from fans that were just writing me I used to get mail every day like because when you're there like your music is already it's been out yeah it's been I got like 60 70 albums 80 albums out so every and everybody knows my my booking information is on the internet so people are writing me and you know I get I had stacks of books you know I left probably like 500 worth of books on my on my bunk when I left you know because I I was what you want to read and I just I want to read anything like I was getting books under your cult and religious books and this and that and and about just like poetry and everything and you know I would get books just to give them away you know I would get like like my like a easy read that's like that I always loved was The Alchemist yeah and and it just like would touch my heart that and I'll read it over and over and I want to bless somebody with it like look this [ __ ] save you this is the [ __ ] truth right here so I'll give that book to somebody you know and and another book that I I read several times what I loved was um the count of money Crystal Dumas so I love that book you know you know he came back got his even though he dies at the end I don't like that part but but but like just the whole [ __ ] like how he was like on some caveman [ __ ] he goes to that jail he gets schooled he learns all this stuff and he comes back a new man like with new intentions even though they were kind of like you know spiteful and revenge you know he wanted that Revenge but I just love that book and you know I would like reckon man here up here I'll give you this you know anybody like it if he was like cool with me then you know and I felt like you know you're worthy of this book and you're not just gonna [ __ ] like [ __ ] hit up in there and [ __ ] and start you know tagging all in and that's what that's it so you know so the dude in the dorm I told him look all my store because you know I used to go to store on fat every day I had bags of [ __ ] food under my bed like which is all bad for you which is all salt or sugar there's like nothing I mean the seafood has a gang of saw in it and the sweets this was sweets I told him all my store give it to this homie all my books give it to this on me all lifers all people that were fighting life you know and then all my pictures go to this homie and then whatever is you know you guys split up whatever I'm out of here to all the homies that I'm uh you know stay up and much love thank you for everything you know you guys because the homies they looked out for me in there you know they showed a lot of love like uh not that I got any special treatment because I won't accept special treatment they were kind you know and and I did have a little little perks and [ __ ] you know like but but because I was always like straightforward and I was a team player and I was just you know I wasn't nothing ever went to my head I never felt like uh you know so then the Tank's just getting smaller and smaller smaller smaller smaller now they changed me to another tank it's a [ __ ] little tank right there in CCB it's one of those little ones at the end of the hallway and I'm right there now it's like there's two dudes two Mexican dudes and one's like hey bro your Conejo and I'm like yeah he's like man it's my birthday today Dawn can I get a signature a lot of graph and I'm like yeah [ __ ] yeah I signed this little you know that little pink release paper yeah I signed this orange charge paper yeah properties yeah sign that [ __ ] and then they leave so I'm like okay now it's like there's an Asian dude who's cheat up black dude and everything we're not no one's talking so it's like this is the last if some shit's gonna pop off this is it so everybody's quiet no one's talking the Asian dude's not talking I'm not talking black dude's not talking everybody's just quiet and everybody's like low-key like checking each other out like like because you know you never know you know and everybody's a g in there everybody's a gang member in there so everybody's just like watching each other's moves black do leaves they called them out now it's me and the Asian too so we're just like full guys long hair and she's braided it's probably from Long Beach I don't know I know I never I didn't ask him you know but he's probably from you know he's probably Cambodian that's what I'm thinking because he's banged out like tatted up face tattoo everything we're just quiet and um boom they call them out I'm in there by myself now it's like six o'clock Court's over I should bend out but they had told me by you I I didn't know that I was going to be the last guy so I'm like man the phone doesn't work in there it's freezing I'm just like [ __ ] and then finally they call me out and they release me they give you a little ticket like a ticket the paper your release paper is an actual a ticket and I just seen this unit said 187 on it and here's sign right here and they I signed it and then and then now in the county you have um Crocs so I got the homies Crocs I gave them the the little fake cross trainers the little fake Air Maxes they got in there yeah they're cool though they look fresh when they're brand new they're white and crispy and um and um and then they you change into a paper jumpsuit it's like black black paper jumpsuit and the black Crocs and then it's a it's like a garage door but it's the big one where the buses come through that [ __ ] goes up and then my sister my girl right there wow and then I said you know I you know I hug them and then I'm like call my daughter so that's the first thing I want to do I want to talk to my daughter so they they FaceTime me right and my sister's like hey somebody wants to talk to you and they put it on me like this and she starts crying and she she's like why you guys playing with me she thought that I was a cardboard cutout oh she said that why why would you guys do a cardboard cut out on my dad why would you guys play like that with me and she's crying and I'm like I start talking to her I'm like nah Mommy that's me Sid I just I just got out I'm out and then we just both we just both started crying you know like I love you Daddy I love you Mommy and then um went to the pad little barbecue was waiting for me and then my girl she's she's from Ventura so gotta go I'm from Ventura now so yeah I came out here and you know it just seemed like it seemed like [ __ ] I was in the midwest somewhere in the middle like I was like what the [ __ ] like we I remember we we got off on one exit like we do that Santa Rosa Road that back one when you get up the 118 to the 26th 126. yeah you get off somewhere right there buy more park in the back and I'm like what the [ __ ] is this country I just feel like that I feel like that that when you're you know you're out of your comfort zone that I'm like damn like that we're gonna even have neighbors in this how am I gonna do this yeah what the [ __ ] but you know and then it just felt weird a little bit but but then the next day I had to go to the county and get my property which was [ __ ] I didn't want it I just wanted this this is a it's called it's from the ceremony it's a ceremony you do for you the three-day ceremony I didn't want nothing I just wanted my money and then um so I had to go see probation they were still over there on um Crenshaw and um Exposition Exposition yep so I went to go see her she was cool as [ __ ] went back to the county I didn't have well I have no no ID I don't have anything my wife had got me a birth certificate so I go to the county they don't want to give me my [ __ ] because they don't believe that's me and I'm telling them like but it was enough for like the FBI and it was enough for them to know it's me why it's not enough for you well we need to see I don't have an ID I've been a fugitive 15 years I don't have anything this is all I have you know what I didn't even have the birth certificate yet I have anything I just had to that paper that little sign out paper oh yeah and some probation papers and then they gave me my [ __ ] back and that's it and I called Dave no it took me like two three days to get a cell phone and I hit up Dave and he's on the east coast and he's like hey I'll be back in a week I'm gonna go pick you up all right cool week later Dave shows up him and [ __ ] um what's his what's his name um Anthony now that I know him and Anthony came and [ __ ] um they pick me up go to this Mexican restaurant days on [ __ ] phones you know making deals trying to make [ __ ] happen all this shit's going on and I'm like what's up and he goes oh we got this movie I'm like all right cool he's all you're gonna be in it I'm like all right cool what's my I told him I'm right told him what's my name gonna be in the movie he's like and I'm like oh [ __ ] cool but I already have been telling Dave like about the afro-cuban religions about like intricate workings of the way the things that I've seen you know that could help them in the script you know so they kind of injected that into a tax collector and he was just like here go see [ __ ] what's her name um what's the name of um Ivana chubbock yeah yeah go see her show up at this address we're gonna be [ __ ] rehearsing for a few months come here every day and that's it did you did you enjoy it did all that [ __ ] would you like it yeah I did yeah and I remember um we were rehearsing right at first it was just me and Bobby me Bobby and Cynthia and as time went on like another cast member came on which was that uh what's her name Chelsea but I remember the day Shia walked in you know it's kind of StarStruck a little bit not Starstruck like because you know but but he walked in and he was bald just for his head it was shaved and then he had some Levi's and the way they were folded he that's how skinheads do it so I'm like this was supposed to be on a [ __ ] skinhead movie or some [ __ ] that's what I thought and he walked in like Shia you know he's him you know and he looked at me he's like ah heard about you whatever yeah and what up bro we shook hands and then they started running the scene when they're driving in the car him and Bobby and I was just like damn I was kind of intimidated by them because like these [ __ ] are real actors I don't know what the [ __ ] I'm doing you know like I just better shut the [ __ ] up in peep game and soak it up as much as I can you know because I know Dave's gonna call on me right now and tell me to say something or something I'm gonna be like ah and I gotta like and then you know more people started before not and then the rehearsals started getting bigger bigger bigger and then I remember one day um I see George Lopez walking and I was kind of the same like Shia like kind of StarStruck I'm like man this [ __ ] is bigger than that then he looks you know he looks fake to me you know [ __ ] little black tuxedo and [ __ ] I'm like honest who's looking spiffy and [ __ ] he walked in and that fool told me the same [ __ ] he shaked everybody he knew I think everybody he's like like [ __ ] you you kill me in the movie or some [ __ ] and then he just shook my hand he was cool and then I said and from there like just everything you know what like all these things started happening and you know and then so you know Bobby I got close with him and and and there was a lot of ties you know because Bobby's you know his family and his grandpa and the area and then Dave he was like [ __ ] West Adams was like running [ __ ] like we were in the [ __ ] building like it felt good you know but it feel like like good like even though I didn't I don't know I I known about Bobby for years I just never met him I know about him I know his whole [ __ ] but everything that happens for a reason and and and everything happens at the right place at the right time so my story is a story of perseverance and and even though I like I feel like giving up a hundred times but I kept that [ __ ] going and that's why I went like dude's like step to me and they're like hey I'm like man [ __ ] out of here with that [ __ ] like man I had all kinds of adversity I kept it going and and I had all the I went against the odds and and so there's no excuse you know it's hard to accept excuses from people that got the sad stories right yeah like hey hook me up I'm the [ __ ] I'm like exactly man everybody's a [ __ ] everybody is a [ __ ] but just you know you gotta like I don't know grind you gotta grind and and and just you know work hard and I like I made it I'm just I'm I'm out here just like but I'm enjoying the journey you know it's cool you know acting I think is cool because it's it's not like the music it will it's sort of like the music it's still on Art you know when I could tell like different [ __ ] you know and I could show them like you know I got a lot of life experience in a lot of different areas that that probably a lot of people don't have you know so man it's been a pleasure yeah man I swear man oh yup thank you bro yeah I just appreciate you being so open man and sharing everything with us and that [ __ ] was kind of painful the whole way through it you know no I had good I had good times like I said life is life and I had beautiful times over there and I feel like like as far as the music that's where I found my voice over there because you know I just had so much content so much [ __ ] to talk about and all the [ __ ] that was going on and I miss home so much and you know I found my voice over there and and a lot of things you know I didn't believe in I mean I believed in God but I am believing him like I believe in him now you know the guys my ancestors you know all these things and whatever you know I didn't I wasn't [ __ ] reading [ __ ] over here over that I read I like close to 300 bucks it took me to lose my firstborn son Dante Jr and and 15 years in the federal pen before I picked up a Bible and really try to get an understanding man so you know everybody got that moment man but I think the most important thing here is you know the change you've made through all that you know you know look what you went through and look what you are you know and I think that's the most important part I think that's what I want people to get out of your story man that it ain't no excuses you know I think it's it's very important that you share that man I appreciate you coming man we appreciate you man thank you thank you that was an honor yeah oh [ __ ] [Music]

Channel: REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal

Views: 444,379

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Id: 6JQq9hG2nrE

Length: 116min 20sec (6980 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 03 2023