In-Laws Dumped Their Sick Child On Me For Years But Today They Show Up To Reconcile Against My Will

my brother-in-law jason is 20 and two years ago he was in an accident that left him paralyzed he uses a wheelchair and barely has any hand mobility so he needs help with pretty much everything my wife's parents were hit hard by this and struggled with the pressure of taking care of him even though he receives benefits and compensation in-laws couldn't handle all the doctor's appointments physical therapy sessions and constantly caring for him in the end jason came to live with us her parents claimed they just needed a few weeks to take a break from caring for him a few weeks turned into months until he stayed with us permanently there was a lot of conflict over this we couldn't believe they just stopped coming to see him altogether when he was already in a dark place and adjusting to these permanent life changes so we didn't speak with them for a long time it wasn't easy to adjust at first but we're glad he's here with us before global issue we had a care provider stay with him while we were at work but now that we're home the majority of the time we just take turns he and i have gotten very close so we've had many talks about his feelings i know how hard this is for him and how much it hurt when my in-laws pulled out of his life we haven't had any contact with them at all in over a year well as it turns out they want to see him again my wife told me this could be the chance to finally get the family back together and make amends we talk this over with jason but he wants nothing to do with them he's made it clear he doesn't want to see them but she insists it's important they all talk today they showed up unexpectedly when my wife was out jason was in the other room and apparently they arranged this meeting today with my wife but got there earlier than the agreed time they just wanted to have a sit down with jason but i didn't let them set foot in the house honestly my anger got the best of me and i shut the door on them when they wouldn't leave i told jason they were here he didn't want to speak with them they left after 10 minutes when my wife got home she was furious she knows what they did was bad but this was the chance to make it better and jason doesn't know what's best for him because he's still upset about what they did we went back and forth on this she said closing the door on them and refusing to let them see jason was an awful move but i feel his wishes should be respected however she says his feelings on this are obviously clouded because of what happened and i prevented him from reconnecting with them in order to move on from the pain so i'm not sure was i an idiot here i believe i may be the idiot for shutting the door on my in-laws and refusing to let them into my home when they were only trying to apologize to their son not the idiot it seems like out of everyone you are the only one who actually cares about jason and his feelings everyone else just wants what is best for themselves including your wife i understand she wants her family back together but this is not the way to do it her parents made their choice and now they must live with the consequences understandably they couldn't take care of him obviously being elderly but to completely stop seeing him after a life-altering accident they are idiots for that if jason chooses never to see them that is his choice not theirs and certainly not your wife's she's completely selfish jason is lucky to have you in his corner i think you made the right choice to slam the door on them now they know how it feels to shut someone off not the idiot imagine abandoning your child because their mobility issues are difficult for you when you're not the one who's had a life changing accident and then feeling entitled to a second audience with that child because you're his parents and dismissing his pain over abandonment and lack of contact because he should just get over it so they can all be one big happy family again your brother-in-law isn't destroying the family unit your mother-in-law and father-in-law did that when they decided they just needed a little break from the small thing that is their son's life you are not wrong your wife sure is though she tried to force a come to jesus talk on her adult brother one where he would literally be a captive audience no she does not know better she does not get the final say and she needs to knock it off with her overblown sense of entitlement to make such big decisions for others if and when jason is ready to have a conversation with his parents he will decide when not this meddling flying monkey sister you sir are the hero we all need i 19 males still live at my parents house taking online college courses in middle school i was diagnosed with adhd but my parents never wanted me on meds so i had to wait till i was 18 to do it myself i take them every day so today after having breakfast i'm looking for my pills which i leave in my bathroom and they're not there then i started looking in my room getting annoyed because i knew for sure they were in my bathroom my brother theo 20 was watching me from the hallway laughing when he saw me he likes to be an idiot and does stupid stuff because it's funny to him so i knew he probably did something so i asked theo where he put them but he just laughed without telling me where they were i don't know why he thinks doing something stupid like this is funny i swear he's like a kid after a few minutes he tells me to calm down and he goes to the closet in the hallway but then he sees they're not there anymore he swears that's where he hid them we look all over the closet and can't find them i'm so angry and i tell theo to find my meds now or i'm not giving him a ride to work he works at a store and it's supposed to open in a half hour that's when theo gets more serious he swears he doesn't know where they are but i told him i don't care those pills aren't cheap without insurance plus calling the doctor's office for a refill and i don't work enough hours to just buy more when that was a whole month's worth so yeah i was so angry at him i didn't give him a ride and i also told him i wouldn't be unless he gives me my pills or money to buy more theo was begging me to go but i shut my door and ignored him he had to run to take the bus and i heard he got there almost an hour late for sure got in trouble since he was the one in charge of opening the store he was yelling at me when he got home and my parents did too for purposely making him late because he didn't mean to actually lose them my parents keep telling me i'm being too petty over this and this affects his job everyone in the house seems to be really furious with me and i'm not sure if i took it too far with not giving him rides at all i'm still really mad and worried about not finding my meds i need those so i don't know am i the idiot not the idiot theo pranked you less than an hour before he needed a favor from you smooth i hope you find them and i hope your parents cut you some slack if you had been able to take your meds this morning as usual you would have felt clear-headed and able to drive as it was i don't blame you for passing besides how rude he was to hide them and then to lose them if you're used to being in a certain mindset brought on by regular prescribed usage and then all of a sudden that's taken away it's not a good idea to get behind the wheel on all counts you made the right decision theo can take his medicine you are not the idiot but are you sure he lost them and didn't take them and sell them sounds a bit sus that he didn't know where they were if he'd just hidden them i'd also ask your parents if they disapprove they might have taken them and thrown them out yeah the meds were in the closet but disappeared someone had to have taken them tell your family that you were reporting the theft to the police they will probably reappear fast if they haven't been sold already if not report them as stolen some background my mom and aunt are twins they got pregnant around the same time i was born in june and my cousin was born in september all my life my cousin copied everything i liked or did and my mom and aunt enabled it literally everything i got a barbie set for christmas she did too i wore a pink dress to my fifth grade graduation she did too the exact same i even had to quit a job because she didn't qualify for it and i did and she wanted us to work together the most annoying one would have to be being forced to celebrate my birthday at the same time as her because she liked that we were twins as i said we were born three months apart i didn't get to celebrate my birthday till september this went on until i was nearly adult i know some of those things are normal but i find it super annoying i can't even express myself and show interest in things i like because my cousin will suddenly like it and it turns into all they're exactly the same i'm not saying she's not allowed to like the same things as me but she goes above and beyond and it's never op's things it's ops and cousins thing current situation i've been applying to colleges i haven't quite made up my mind but i've narrowed it down to two things i want to study my cousin and aunt came over for lunch today and my cousin asked me what colleges i was applying to i said i wasn't sure and my mom gave me a look you know that stern look that your parents or grandparents gave you yeah that i know if she and i attend the same college i'll be forced to live with her my mom and aunt already had this discussion and that's not something i want my mom came into my room and insisted i stopped being callous and give my cousin the full list of colleges i'm applying to i told her i didn't want to go to the same college as her because i'm tired of being forced to be twins with her my mom said as long as i'm being insensitive and forcing my cousin to go to college all by herself then i won't have a graduation celebration i feel like i'm an idiot and i don't even know why i feel super guilty about not sharing what colleges i want to go to so i'm asking you guys am i wrong you are not wrong just because your mom and auntie like being twins doesn't mean they get to force their daughters who are not even sisters to pretend to be twins going to college by yourself is the whole point it's a chance to figure out who you want to be as an adult stick to your guns on this one if you want to carve out your own adult identity separate from your cousin you absolutely should be able to you don't have to sacrifice that so your mom and auntie can relive their twinness through you or because your cousin likes the idea you are not wrong here give her a list of several colleges you are not applying for then when it comes up say that the one you got into was a last minute application and you forgot to add it op probably needs to go as far as telling her mom the same fake schools she tells her cousin so when her mom and aunt talk it's the same list and give her a perfectly plausible list of colleges in the opposite direction for instance if you're applying to schools that are north of your hometown give her a list of competing colleges that are south of your hometown i went to school and was friends with twin brothers they also wanted to break from being known always as a set parents need to stop forcing the twin thing especially when they aren't even twins i'm 19 female i've never really been into fashion and have always dressed sort of tomboyishly i was telling a friend about how i've never worn a dress for over 10 years now and how i was looking for something fancy to wear because i don't have those sort of clothes at all always end up borrowing someone else's when i have to after a lot of looking online i found a dress i really liked it's a basic satin slip dress with a mid thigh slit not the kind of dress that would be unusual for someone my age to wear at a party i've seen a lot of people wearing something similar i asked my mom which color would look best on me as i really didn't know and she's someone that's quite into fashion she took one look at it and called it promiscuous and asked me why i wanted to look like a witch so badly later on she told my dad about the dirty dress and he sided with her he said the description of the dress made him queasy and that although he wouldn't have used the words my mom did he didn't think it was wrong of her to use them he also said it was not like me to wear such clothing which isn't false but then i'm also 19 and need clothes other than sweatpants and oversized t-shirts i'm not proud of it but i lost my temper at them which is why i believe i also might be in the wrong here and said it wasn't fair to make me feel ashamed for going out of my comfort zone and trying something new i feel weird and awkward doing feminine things makeup dye my hair paint my nails because i've always been told that's a shameful thing to do i even agreed to stitch the slit up because it bothered my mom so much she told me she was merely stating her opinion but it was an opinion that was meant to shame for something i was going to wear if it matters i'm living in their house but i paid for the dress with my own money wow just went straight for shaming when your daughter tries to include you in a decision she's new to nice one mom this is the kind of parent who goes why don't my kids talk to me when their kids finally move out of the house you are not the idiot your parents sound like real losers i hope you get that dress and wear it like a queen you are not wrong i don't know what your parents are generally like but i hope that this is us catching them at their worst your mom was being a giant idiot for trying to shame you at all let alone because you bought a dress that's a terrible way to encourage your kids to grow and experience life also a big what at your dad being so queasy about the description of the dress if he's that physically averse to women's bodies then it's a wonder that you were born in the first place it totally reminds me of this one guy describing his daughter's period as an infection in my opinion you were right to have a strong reaction to their comments they were way out of line and being downright hurtful for no reason you are not the idiot i often wonder how parents get to this stage mom rocks newborn my sweet little angel i'm going to shame you when you grow up even if your mom thought it was a bit too revealing which to be honest is normal for a lot of parents there is a ton of ways to express that better than that's dirty definitely you're not wrong and you wear what you want girl a theory i've been told my mom was huge into shaming is that they get jealous of their daughters people really need to stop taking their own problems out on their kids i've been with my boyfriend for 11 years his mother has hated me since the first day we met she hated me due to my ethnicity she hated me due to my career i work as a model and she decided that makes me an empty-headed vain shallow person then when i told her i still plan to go to university alongside my career she said i was doing it to impress my boyfriend i have since left uni with a distinction and her new reason to hate me is i try too hard she has also insisted i've cheated on him throughout our entire relationship which is a ridiculous claim i've never even kissed another man in my whole life i have zero desire to cheat and never will late last year she attempted to void the insurance on my boyfriend's motorbikes she tried to do this under my name so when he was arrested for riding with no insurance and called his insurance company i'd get the blame after this happened my boyfriend and i agreed to cut her out however it hasn't stuck she left my boyfriend alone and respected his wishes for no contact but she's continued to contact and harass me this leads me to the last few weeks my boyfriend works as a motorcycle test rider and he got in an awful motorbike crash while working as such i now need to care for him i'm okay with that and i'm focusing on seeing it as an opportunity for us to get closer it's been nice honestly however his mother has been awful to me she's called me a litany of terms from things as tame as stupid to things as awful as a nasty serbian half-breed i'm not serbian and she's well aware that calling me that is offensive she does this intentionally i tried to block her so she started making new imessage accounts and began to continuously harass me via those accounts then came friday night the police turned up at our door i was pretty confused and was quickly told they were there to do a welfare check as they'd received multiple claims of horrific treatment i was apparently putting my poor boyfriend under obviously they quickly discovered he was fine albeit grumpy and they left i know for a fact it was his mother some of the details the police mentioned made that obvious i'm now at a point where i've realized i literally cannot do this i'm going to press charges against her for the insurance and harassment it's a crime in the uk and i'm likely going to sue her for damages for the sake of my mental health i need to do this i don't want to be a victim and she needs to be forced to stop i've mentioned my intentions to her if she doesn't back off and she's pretty much mocking me and saying i won't i absolutely will i just feel like this morally may make me an awful person she sucks i know this however she's old and miserable enough as it is and i feel like doing this may ruin whatever small amount of life she has left it feels like it may be too far i really don't know though and i genuinely cannot be objective here would i be the idiot here if i did this edit when i say i need to care for my boyfriend i mean he's essentially immobile he's not being unsupportive he's just barely able to take care of himself let alone battle his mother too not the idiot his mother is awful and becoming a danger to you and your boyfriend you need to cut her out entirely and take some legal action figure out your best options and go from there but this woman is an insulting vile sickening lady you are not the idiot but it's not clear what charges you want to press it'd be hard to prove she maliciously reported you people have a wide latitude for reporting concerns fraud for changing the insurance perhaps more importantly what is your boyfriend doing about this it's his mother he really should be the one fighting on your behalf i would be mad at esso if he didn't defend me in this situation honestly if things are as bad as you say i would go no contact and ask that your partner does the same you can't reasonably expect the mother to change she seems unhinged but your boyfriend needs to step up [Music] you

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu

Id: 27ouPweiuhs

Length: 19min 32sec (1172 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 03 2021