FRIDAY MIDNIGHT BLESSINGS (2021) || APOSTLE JOSHUA SELMAN

lift your hands as waving to jesus thank him for his faithfulness [Music] if the lord had not been on my side now may israel lord we give you praise you are dependable you are worthy of trust and we will rise we were is father grant me understanding tonight please lift your voice up [Music] quicken my understanding isaiah 11 says shall make you a quick understanding quick make me a understanding hallelujah spirit of the living god grant us understanding of the word open our minds and supply the grace to walk in the truths that we will learn we have come before you you represent the wisdom of god to us we're not rebels to your world teach us open our hearts grant us understanding grant us illumination in the name of jesus christ amen and amen good evening please be seated hallelujah praise the lord it's always my joy to bring us the word of the lord the bible says i will stand upon my watch and set myself upon the tower and i will see what the lord would say every time spent in his presence gives us access to wisdom wisdom the spirit of wisdom is the dimension of the holy spirit responsible for bringing prophecy to pass when god speaks the dimension of the holy spirit that goes forth is the spirit of wisdom he begins to coordinate people and circumstances that make for a manifestation of that which has been spoken i sensed in my spirit even while i prepared for this meeting that there will be a mighty and not impartation but tonight's communication will be under the strong influence of the spirit of wisdom hallelujah every time god is speaking there are many ways that he speaks but when the spirit of wisdom is operating on a man communicating the word of the lord then it's important to listen every time the wisdom of god comes it means that there is something about his intention for your life that has been spoken about that he desires to be made manifest hallelujah praise the lord all the dimensions of the holy spirit revealed in the bible they don't work anyhow they accomplish specific things hallelujah jesus will give you all the praise i want to appreciate our passion for the word i have noticed personally that the lord is multiplying and increasing our desire and our appetite not just for bible study but for revelation that works i think that when your heart is opened to know the truth it says and ye shall know the truth and if it is really the truth you know there will be an evidence that truth can make you free hallelujah it will make you free so you check the liberty you are experiencing in every area of your life that is your liberties what justifies it validates whether or not the information you are receiving is truth because if it is truth then an aspect of your life should experience that dimension of liberty if i catch the truth about finances i should experience that liberty is that true if i catch the truth over my victory in christ i should see demonstrated by um my ability to rise beyond the oppressions of darkness if i catch the truth concerning my health it should show is that true if i catch the truth concerning whatever aspect of life so all you need to do is to look at your life the areas where you still remain a slave and in and in bondage is a is a picture of the dimension of truth that is yet to be real to you and ye shall know not have you can have it forever but it is the day you know it ye shall know the truth and tonight the lord is coming with his truth again truly when you have this revelation you will love the house of god the house of god is the place of truth is that true yes the place of truth so i expect that by the time we're sharing the grace tonight someone will walk rejoicing because something that may have kept you bound for long all of a sudden you find out that this is the revelation that is needed truth so if you are have been a faithful follower of god and his word for a long time there should be some level of liberty in your life that is compelling enough to want someone to listen to what you are listening to you can't claim you are around truth for an appreciable period of time and then every area of your life is helplessly in bondage no sir that means you've been around the environment of truth but you have not listened carefully or engaged diligently we have learned that being around the truth does not bring transformation it doesn't even bring liberty the truth personified jesus the word himself there were people who lived with him and act with him yet they did not change being around the vicinity of truth does not guarantee liberation it doesn't guarantee transformation are we together now lord help me to understand and receive the truth can you pray that one prayer help me understand [Music] [Music] and you shall know the truth and the truth that you know that you have received that you have engaged will set you free hallelujah praise the lord we have been examining we started right from last year what i would summarize as success systems because i believe that is the will of god for us to rise to excel and the lord has been opening us up to all the dimensions that are prerequisites for a life that becomes a validation of everything jesus said in the bible it is my goal that we excel in every aspect of our life not just in one area at the expense of another hallelujah and the lord helped us to share a lot of things and i just feel stared in my heart to still share tonight along the side of relationships because i believe that our success in life is based on relationships i have grown to appreciate the power of relationships hallelujah i will pick an aspect of it to share today and then he will bless us and then we also get into you know when the season february usually are seasons when ministries focus on aspects of relationship not necessarily marriage and love but then i think is valid for all times if you do not understand relationships you will never prosper in life you will never be victorious it is true it's a fact in all your knowing in all your understanding no matter your business acumen no matter your educational qualification no matter your level of spirituality if you do not understand god's system of relationships then you stand a chance to being a failure and a frustrated personality i've taught us here that the easiest way to succeed in life is through relationships your relationship is a stream of income your relationship greater than any invention the only thing that validates invention is because men are there to appreciate and reward it this is the world of men you have to understand men i watch with shock and wonder how we get whipped over issues that should give us cheap victories because we ignore the systems of god the easiest way to succeed in life is through relationships i told us that relationships are currencies they can purchase anything money can buy there are seven currencies we use to purchase realities in this realm that's the lowest and the seventh of them is money financial resources there are many other currencies that are used integrity is currency godliness is currency the anointing is currency relationship is currency anything money can buy relationship can pay for it anything the only thing that gives value money or money value is that there is a hand to collect it and reward you one person can open a hundred dollars of opportunity for you sometimes we really don't need so many people in our lives in terms of favor and open doors you just need one person sent by god and will open a door have taught us that who likes you can make all the difference in your success god has trained us to understand that we do not ignore men and prosper you exalt god above men but you ignore men every prophecy will remain barren in the realm of the spirit even god had to look for men to cooperate with him and he still does still today so who likes you can make a difference a king loved a village girl and she became a queen a king hated a queen and she lost her place god so loved men and they became redeemed it matters who likes you everything reproduces on the basis of relationship everything everything in life your success your failure your spirituality everything in life reproduces adam where i die i heard your voice what i hit because i was naked what relationship entered between us to make for that who told you he didn't say what happened who told you you're neglecting my laws have been because another individual another personality was introduced everything reproduces on the basis of relationships your resources in life your finances your access will always come out of relationships your resources will always come out of relationships i'm just reading with you what i as a preamble favor is who god has made to like you and your willingness to communicate benevolence to you favor is who god has made to like you it's amazing how your life can change when the right people like you it's true the bible is full of hedonistic kings who fell in love with certain individuals like pharaoh to joseph and all of a sudden their lives changed like daniel in babylon [Music] two men had this a similar dream and for one person it meant the favor of the king he was restored as the wine presser for another person it was death and they hung him on the birds of the air at him [Music] but i've taught us again that relationships don't maintain themselves this is the most important part of my conversation relationships don't maintain themselves the parties involved must commit to maintaining it any kind it doesn't just have to be love relationships marriage or this no no any kind business relationships your relationship between you and the holy spirit your relationship between you and your friends you and parents love relationships marriages business career relationships no relationship maintains itself the path is involved doesn't matter how many they must commit to maintaining it and the holy spirit started my heart to teach us a dimension today of relationships that i think will really really bless us there are not many times when i stand and i tell you that a teaching will bless you if tonight's teaching does not bless you something is really wrong with your understanding hallelujah i title what i'm about to share what is love understanding relationships what is love this this is not about love relationships necessarily at all this is more serious than that is a subject that god has is something that god has revealed to me that i think the body of christ needs to understand what is love jeremiah chapter 31 [Music] it says the lord had appeared of old unto me saying please read with me yeah i have loved me with an everlasting love therefore with loving kindness have i drawn you this is god speaking i have loved you with an everlasting love [Music] the basis of my relating with you is love it took my loving kindness to draw you to myself to receive of my benevolence now it is this love that we want to consider what is love john chapter 3 verse 16. [Music] very popular scripture many of us have not read it for a long time because of our pride of believing we know what it says john 3 16 for god read the first the third and the fourth word one to read so loved so loved that's the key word forget about what he did later on the foundation for anything that was done so loved i have loved you with an everlasting love and in my loving kindness i have drawn you to myself and the bible says for god so loved the world whatever he did is a subject of another day the most important thing you can say he gave his only begotten son because he so loved the world are you saying that now the foundation for his benevolence and his sacrifice was the extent of his love love is a word that is used greatly in our world today and in our society we attach it to our affection affinity for things you hear people say i love you i love my car i love my boss i love my wife i love my husband i love my children i love jesus i love koinonia is that true and so we it's a word it's not a word that is new or strange even foreign even little children will tell you they have an idea we have always associated love with something that is positive but i just want to help us because knowing this will turn every aspect of our lives around not just relationships finances our work with the holy spirit and so on and so forth is a word that in many respects is carelessly used many people do not understand the gravity of what they are saying i love you or i love your i love this phone i love this book i love jesus christ i love my wife my husband i love my father and for many of us and i think largely our society societally speaking we are victims of this every time we mention the word love usually the scope of our understanding please listen the scope of our understanding is hinged around the emotions or attachment we use the word love from a layman's perspective many people just use it to explain the goodness the positive attachment is that true that they have towards a person or towards a thing so for many people the scope of love is just emotions or a word we have invented to explain it feelings feelings so when you feel good about a thing or a person and you are asked to articulate what is happening to you you say i love that thing i love this flower why you say because it is beautiful the design made it pleasant to my eyes and then i have a positive affinity towards it and i call it love but you see i want to share with us a number of things that will help us ready number one true love is not emotions true love is not emotions it's not feelings now don't get me wrong there is an emotional component when you are talking about love there has to be an emotional component but love is not emotion if the entire scope of your definition of love for a person or for a thing is just an attempt to express the emotional affinity towards that thing then you are very limited please listen there is a lot of trouble in marriages in relationships in carnality attachment to things because of this one definition feelings [Music] the word feeling is a very is a psychological word it's a word that was invented to explain your psychological disposition at a given time it's called feelings an expression of your psychological disposition so if i i am not feeling all right because of a for instance a stomach upset you ask me what's wrong and i tell you i'm feeling sick is that true if someone annoys me and i am not happy you ask me what was wrong with you i said i'm feeling bad so the word feeling is a word that attempts to describe your psychological disposition at a given time is god helping us tonight please make sure you are listening everywhere online outside because one of the biggest unbecomings of people is their vulnerability to feelings for when you become a victim of feelings both your relationship with god and your relationship with life will be shattered because you see feelings listen love is not a feeling love is not emotion love can and should create feelings true love should create feelings don't get me wrong true love should create emotions we'll discuss that later without without emotions and without feelings you cannot be committed towards a person or a project i preach and we run this ministry and do what god is doing because much more than an instruction from god i'm emotionally connected to what i'm doing and therein lies my passion for the work i'm doing without feeling without emotion there is no basis for being passionate but love is not feeling are we together love can create feelings but it's not feelings we know from life and biology that feelings can be products of chemical reactions hormones feelings can be products of whatever it is all kinds of um physiological things that happen within a human being that is the reason why love that is based on feelings should not be trusted is that true when you build your love life based on emotions and feelings you will never be able to sustain that's why many people do not have the strength to push a business idea to the end they say they love it because the idea reflected a positive emotion to them is that true and so they believed that they loved the idea but then when another idea came to them higher and better than that one all of a sudden their loyalty to that idea went and it is easier for it to be a thing it is terrible when it becomes a person is that true we live in a world where our definitions of love are based on feelings so when you feel good about a person you say i love that person and for many of us now i say this with honor we have watched films we have been exposed to books and we have even been mentored by personalities who have been so inclined to emotions and the entire scope of their definition of love is that it must always give you a feeling a positive feeling and if for any reason the feeling is not positive then it is not love that is not an accurate teaching is god helping us so if i say come i love david dam what for many of us are saying uh what we're trying to say is that my sight of david it doesn't matter what parameters i put together to arrive at my idea of love what i'm attempting to say is that the presence of david dam creates a positive emotional um experience for me is that true and then i can be fooled into thinking that just because at the moment i felt positive about him i love him then tomorrow i now see another side of the video that communicates an experience that does not go well with my idea of happiness is that true and all of a sudden i change my mind and say david damn i no longer love you remember that's what you did to the you now throw in your house see how much you loved it when you bought it beautiful my god and you wore it and you were happy something about that made you feel happy and excited and you use the wrong word you called it love and now because the began to fade or tear it started falling your hand and you no longer were confident about it because it no longer created that disposition confess right now what did you do to the [Music] isn't it amazing how your attitude towards that has changed you look at it in your wardrobe and have no pity for that think of how much you were bargaining just a few months ago please reduce 1000 reduce 5 000 and this is the now but you said you loved the church remember when you dried it and for whatever reason you didn't find it you said who took my but now the is right there love what exactly is love [Music] feelings [Music] are always based i wrote something here feelings are temporary dispositions based on something we consider pleasant feelings write it down feelings are temporary dispositions based on something we consider pleasant about someone or an object so if the vidam sings watch this i give david a mic and he has a beautiful voice now when he raises that voice his flawlessness his focal discipline his artistry the ability to coordinate himself musically sounds pleasant to me that gives me a basis for feeling right about david is that correct and now i may be tempted to call that feeling love it remains love for as long as david dam is singing what if he's sleeping what is the name of the experience the difference between singing and snoring them all make sounds one is coordinated one is not so this they are all coming out from the same person that's the interesting thing all coming up from the same personality now one is coordinated please understand what i'm teaching you and then it is pleasant to you and he becomes likable all of a sudden you are drawn emotionally based on something now most of us may not admit that that's what is drawing us is that true and then the person now snores for instance and then that experience does not go well with your disposition and you begin to lose that favor our world is in danger of losing it if we do not understand what love is i foresee that if we do not know what love is many marriages will break many relationships would not even exist many businesses will never grow to be big enough many ministries many leaders will not be able to rise because of this mistake of feelings building anything unjust feelings and emotion is a guarantee for failure and frustration please hear what i'm saying building anything at all just based on feelings and emotion is a guarantee for failure and frustration when you build a business on feeling when you build a relationship on feeling when you build marriage on feeling when you build your work with god on feeling when you build your spiritual growth process on feeling that's what makes a lot of believers start feeling bad i used to feel the presence of god in a way when i'm about to climb the stage i feel that thing when i feel it i know god is there and right now i'm about to pray for sick people and i don't seem to feel it and they believe god is not there with me because we have been trained we don't ignore feelings but feeling is not love feeling has brought a lot of people into trouble there are marriages that are in trouble today because of the mistake of feeling listen carefully there are relationships today that are ensembles because of feeling there are businesses there are careers there are people today who are in geographic regions that they should never be ask them what happened they say i felt so there are people who should never be close to certain personalities there are people who should never be involved in certain businesses it's like an emotional rampage feelings they drive us up and down and so we begin to fascinate based on whatever disposition we have at the moment when a revelation sounds good to you oh this is wonderful and then you love the revelation so you see then the day you understand the gravity of that revelation and it does not go well with you you throw it away love is not feelings [Music] is god helping us there are many things in life that have capacity please look up there are many things in life that have capacity of creating positive emotional experiences for us looks can create that you know that when you see a guy or a lady or whatever individual or a thing once it is good looking it can create a positive experience for you education when you see someone who is well learned someone who has been able to acquire certifications of all kinds they have a way of creating a positive disposition is that true appearance when you see someone looking sharp and looking nice beautiful and handsome when i stepped in and i saw a worship team they were all looking gorgeous wonderful people right from outside i saw our ushers too they were looking beautiful i had a positive disposition towards them [Music] are you following me now orientation when you see someone who is exposed vast intelligent he has a great command of his intellect well developed understanding about several aspects of life and the person has an opportunity to articulate his understanding before you naturally naturally you will be drawn towards the person there are other things like wealth finances finances have the capability of creating pleasant experiences why because they are able to be exchanged for a solution you desire you can exchange money for a solution that you desire could be medically could be spiritually you can use money to buy a bible you can use money to move from being a tenant to a landlord it can give you a lot of options godliness and spirituality when you find out that someone has a very high level of understanding with god that disposition can cause pleasantness but none of those things in themselves equates to love is god helping us because you see many of our marriages many of our relationships many of our businesses are hinged on physical things that were pointed out and used as references to mean what we call today love so when you meet the gentleman and say why do you love this lady he says because she's beautiful or because she has character or because she did whatever it is why do you love this gentleman you say he's responsible he loves god doesn't run around he's well cultured and he's visionary those things look very sincere and they are but that's not love are we together why do you love this intelligent entrepreneur oh this guy is very sharp his business acumen is sound the result he has has to show for it why do you love this course you are studying i love it because i was told there is an opportunity there i love it because my father tried to study it and it didn't work now you think that those things mean love they are positive don't get me wrong but there are wrong foundations for love [Music] because if your foundation is based on those things there will be serious trouble how many of you have seen an old man and an old woman maybe the old woman maybe 65 to 70 years and her old husband is wrinkled sitting on a wheelchair and you see them hold their hands and say we love ourselves talk to me intelligent people we feel emotionally drawn to ourselves is that what you believe they are saying it couldn't be we make a fool of ourselves because of the impulsive nature of our lives which has been a derivative of our idea about love that every time i have a positive disposition towards a thing or a person then i love the thing of the person and whenever that positive feeling is not there we now say i do not love the person that's not god's idea that's not the definition of love hallelujah the bible says those that god loves he chastises how do you how do you equate chastening with love [Music] impulsive marriages impulsive businesses impulsive relationships impulsive career pathways and all these mood swings that come in life are products of dependence on feelings to make destiny decisions there are people i remember talking to a lady when i was in a gentleman one day and he came and met me said i want to read a course i said why say because i like the name that's exactly what we're talking about are we together chemical engineering architecture neural surgeon aeronautic engineer you know so the name is is charismatic and we do not understand the gravity of what is involved and we subscribe for things that we start regretting from the one is that true many people have been whipped by the sad reality that they were not ready for what they subscribed for this happens in relationships it happens in businesses listen if you listen to what i'm teaching you tonight i promise you you will walk out here happy and you will live happy as far as relationships are concerned feelings can be deceptive and are not an accurate measure of love write it down feelings can be deceptive feelings all kinds feelings can be deceptive and are not an accurate measure of love as any married man and married woman as any mother and her children as every father and the children ask any leader any subordinates they will tell you that if you depend on feelings as an index to measure love you will be deceived many times there are times that you are having the greatest manifestation of the presence of god in your life and you will not feel nothing but at those times your relationship and work with god are two incredible proportions but because you have programmed yourself into believing that because you felt his presence and he shook your body that meant you were receiving an impartation how many people walk out of miracle services angry because they did not have a feeling they expected to fall down is the noisemaker who was sitting close to them that was not even prepared in the spirit was falling up and down and they go back feeling pain and disappointed and say lord you mean you watch me like this fasting i didn't break and this guy who was gossiping and making noise from praise and worship he was already on the ground we convinced ourselves that because there was no feeling that accompanied your experience that your senses could relate with you didn't receive anything it's the reason why many people don't get filled with the holy spirit because they are waiting for feelings [Music] feelings can be deceptive and are not an accurate measure of love [Music] our feelings wrong no our emotions wrong no but our society many of you sitting today looking at me are depending on a feeling to show you your wife you are depending on a feeling to show you your husband you are depending on a feeling to love your wife if you're married or a feeling to love your husband you are depending on a feeling to serve god you are depending on a feeling to believe that you are loved in your department you are depending on a feeling feelings are deceptive very deceptive [Music] before i tell you what love is i want to show you a scripture that blessed me dimensions of true love let's discuss that ephesians chapter 3 please from verse 17 and 18 it's amazing how paul gives us his exegesis on the subject of love very strange communication that came from paul and let's see what he's saying paul said that christ may dwell in your hearts by faith look at me listen that ye been rooted and grounded in love now paul is confusing us here paul is giving us an idea you know he's using agricultural terminologies but this is not where i'm going verse 18 it says may be able to comprehend with all the saints read on with me what is the number one the breath number two the length number three the depth number four the height so love has this dimensions there is breath there is length there is depth there is height have you experienced these dimensions in your definition of what you call love if i ask you what is the breath of love and when should it be used because it's in the bible if i ask you what is the length of love and when should it be used because all these dimensions have their relevance remember he's teaching us to grow in the fullness of god who is love and he's fragmenting this dimensionally and he's saying that love has breadth and length and depth and height which one of the four do you know when you say love which of them do you refer to my brother when you say i love that lady which of this is it the breath the length the depth when you say i love jesus which of them because paul is saying if that thing you are doing or know is love it must have breath listen carefully it must have length it must have depth thank you media it must have hide believe us love us remember we love god and love ourselves what is the name of what we have been doing with respect to this [Music] i love you i love my car and paul says that thing you are talking there are dimensions [Music] the first dimension write it down i want to give you the four dimensions the lord revealed this to me and it changed my life it really did if these four dimensions are not captured in your idea of love then never talk about it these four dimensions i'm about to describe for you if they are not captured all four must be captured for it to be called love [Music] three over four in this equation is still f it must be 4 over 4 to be called god's idea the dimensions of love ready number one passion the first dimension of love is passion there is no love if it cannot be expressed in passion that's why i told you that there is a place for feelings it's only that feelings is not the entire school please follow me in this teaching god is going to be revealing to many of us the mistakes we have been making whether in love relationships even in marriages and our work with god and businesses and relationships among believers around passion what is passion a strong or extravagant fondness of something when you are strongly fond of something it can be said you are passionate about that person or that thing what is passion sorry i'll hurry up you can get the teachings enthusiasm or desire for someone or something your passion for a person or a thing is measured by your enthusiasm [Music] your desire for something you cannot say you love a person or you love a thing and intrinsically there is no desire passion is called an intense enthusiasm compelling desire even admiration qualifies to be called passion write this down the proof that you are passionate about a person or a thing is pursued pursuit pursuit is the proof of passion when you love someone and you love something you are willing to be vulnerable enough to pursue that personality to pursue that idea there cannot be passion when there is unashamedness for pursuit towards god towards men there are many relationships and many marriages many business ideas that do not have passion attached so the individuals they may say that they love this line of business but i do not see pursuit they may say i love this lady i love this guy but there is no desire for pursuit many say i love jesus i love the things of god but there is no pursuit the first dimension of love that must be at work in your life is possible psalm 8 please quickly let's look at god himself demonstrating this dimension of love psalm 8 and verse 3. [Music] this is the psalmist it shocked and all as to why the god of the heavens with all the dexterity of heaven will still look down at man remember the bible says for god so loved the world i have loved you we are not studying love from any relationship expert we are studying love directly from the one who invented it himself because many people have carved out i have great honor and respect for people authorities that god has used in the area of love and relationship but there is a deception that is destroying the body of christ every angry person comes up with a book and any idea of what they believe and begin to mentor young guys and young ladies and we are destroying marriages visions dreams relationships because of wrong templates that are being communicated so let's go to god how did god express passion this is what the psalmist saw that made him wonder he said god is it that you cannot do without man you threw your pride on the ground your throne is not enough for you you look at a man that is so godless and doesn't love you he said when i consider the heavens do you know what he's saying lord you are not dull you make the heavens without pillars the works of your fingers can't you invent another thing to replace that man the moon understands which thou has ordained verse four we're reading verse five what is man that thou art change mindful to passionate ready what is man that thou art passionate not the son of man that you prove you are passionate by doing what visiting him you leave your throne you are not even considering whether people say how about god you are too big for this childishness it's a no problem say whatever you say about me i am in love with that man and the first dimension is my passion i am not ashamed let's go back to our world of proud and arrogant people where a guy claims he loves a lady but he is still protecting his vulnerability you are not passionate you are not in love when somebody claims he loves a business he loves his idea i love this i love that i am a businessman and you are not serious i don't see you wake up in the night to read any book i don't see you go for any seminar you are not passionate you do not love it the first dimension of love is measured by your passion and your passion measured by your willingness to pursue without being embarrassed anything that shame will not let you pursue don't even start shame and love doesn't go hand in hand no matter who you are in the world of god's idea of love you must be willing to throw shame down to pursue a person an idea or pursue god when we were sitting here and the worship team were praising i saw jimmy got up and he was dancing unashamedly is a proof of passion is that true listen be careful whenever someone says he loves you or she loves you or you think you love someone before you make a shipwreck of your life because of ignorance ask yourself question number one am i willing to be vulnerable enough to pursue i have loved you with an everlasting love and my everlasting love was demonstrated by my being mindful [Music] lord there are many things to distract you in heaven the beauty of heaven the throne room the four and twenty elders and after he watches that orchestra in heaven all of a sudden they find god thinking and the elders can wonder god what again and he says man scene two here is the stubborn and careless man roaming around trying to make a an image and bound to him and the angel said george now judge god you are wise and he says no i'm not ashamed that as great as i am god is a weak point man has gotten this is god listen don't ever marry anybody who doesn't have this thing i'm telling you big money my person cannot go hand in hand show me what wakes you in the night and i know whether that idea is worth your love what wakes you up you snore by 10 i wake up by let me say i'm an entrepreneur it's not for you it's very clear that you don't have passion for that thing you can try other aspects of life lord i love you and you are praying and then fall asleep and sleep for 10 hours no when you are mindful of anything there is passion there is god helping us tonight lend this this is the spirit of wisdom speaking to you we use words cheerlessly and do not understand the gravity of what we are saying lord i love you he says which dimension is that dimension number one i love you i am passionate towards you i am not ashamed of my vulnerability oh david showed us what passion was he danced before god and the wife said o king again were you not trained well david said god that took me from the backside i shall not dance before him god had it and god said you dare not stop anyone who is passionate about me number two what is the second dimension of love commitment write it down the second dimension of love there is no love i have not defined love we are just describing the dimensions love is commitment everybody shout commitment do you know what commitment is commitment is the willingness to give your time the willingness to give your energy the willingness to give yourself to something or someone you believe in is called commitment the willingness to give your time the willingness to give yourself passion talks of pursuit the unashamedness to remain mindful of a thing but commitment talks of the staying power brothers and sisters there is no emotion to commitment [Music] commitment is a product of your belief in a thing stay in power based on the fact that you believe so you can see a believer being persecuted and they are going to set fire on him and he's willing lord i remain with you denounce jesus christ or die is there any pleasure there no sir listen to me commitment is a state or quality of being dedicated another synonym for commitment is dedication i know how committed you are to a person or a thing by dedication [Music] i wrote a definition that when i finished writing i finished writing i just leaned my head and i took a deep breath and i said god this is serious hear this the third definition of commitment is an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action hi you must write everything let me say it again an engagement or obligation to someone or something that restricts freedom of action look at this kind of dangerous definition so there is a restriction that commitment can create to your life [Applause] the love of god constrains constraints [Music] there are actions that are restricted because of commitment you have options you can sleep you have options you can travel you have options you can go for vacation but your commitment for your vision because you believe that if you are committed to that vision your children will eat from it so you stay and they look at you and say ah david damn what is this that you are playing the keyboard 2 a.m 2 00 am you are tired you say it's true is obvious your eyes are teary but something else has obsessed you more than the discomfort you are having commitment there are many believers who are not committed to anything there are many young people who are not committed to anything and anyone we run away from commitment i'm a member of coinonia but i don't want to join any workforce that's how i am do you know why because the restriction that commitment brings is what we are afraid of [Music] restriction is god blessing us number three let's hurry up the third dimension to love when we get to the fourth dimension you give us that scripture again in ephesians the third dimension to love is pleasure write it down if you must manifest true love it must be captured this dimension pleasure what is pleasure delight gratification there must be delight there must be space for gratification what is pleasure the satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking it cannot be a war of pain and regrets and fighting and pursuits indefinitely no there is a dimension to love that is defined by pleasure psalm 16 verse 11. let me tell you something that is very interesting about love personified here's what the bible says 16 11 psalms are we there it says that will show me the part of life ready in your presence is what fullness of joy and then it is in the hand of a 24 elder at your right hand at what for how long if your definition of love is all about pain and fight and if there is no capture of the dimension of pleasure then you are not defining love based on god's terms is god speaking to us yes whether it is a love relationship whether it is a business relationship i should come and see you walking on a difficult project with a smile on your face and i said but i'm aware this thing is hard you mean you have to count these things one by one and there are 5 000 of them and you say even me i don't know why this thing gives me joy my brother continued that's a sign that there is love there there are many things we do and we are angry and frowning at it relationships career even work with god brothers and sisters do we not rejoice after we love god we celebrate miracles here in his presence he makes sure that the dimension of delight is featured in our serving him is delight and pleasure featured in your idea of relationship there are husbands and wives there are people in relationships where there is completely no joy and laughter and delight at all there may be passion there may be commitment but there's no delight no jokes no laughter especially for we who are very visionary people is a side effect that comes with being visionary sometimes we can strangle every iota of pleasure from our lives i have found myself many times been unfair even to myself in this regard because of the enormous responsibilities that i have over my life and over people i'm always thinking but the bible says even god laughs from me is true are we together the bible says laughter do it good like medicine pleasure must be captured there are times that i've been involved in ideas involving things and i've enjoyed the beauty and the joy of triumph your business should make you laugh one day your pursuit of the anointing should make you laugh one day if you continue being angry indefinitely it can be a voice that this thing is not for you there must be a time of laughter your relationship must give you laughter one day no sir from january last year till january this year you have been meeting with the lady or the guy no laughter no feeling of relaxation and happiness what what's what sort of a [Music] i'm not i'm not i'm trying to be very careful so i don't double directly into relationship issues are you deriving satisfaction from your pursuit now let me tell you something if there is no pleasure in what you are loving you will feel cheated [Music] if there is no pleasure if i sit down and i'm doing ministry as god has anointed me to i there are pleasurable moments in ministry people sow into my life people bless me i have the privilege of enjoying honor you all love me and respect me so much and i'm deeply grateful for that those are the french benefits it's the pleasure dimension of love i love god with all my heart i've seen his favor upon my life i've seen him shower me with blessings that if he never blesses me again i am deeply grateful there must be pleasure captured in your idea of love [Music] this is a challenge to visionary people this is a challenge to spiritual ladies hello spirituality is not an insult but we have found ourselves victims there are sisters that are spiritual they love god they don't know the inconvenience they are creating they strangle this dimension of love intentionally as proof they feel so ashamed when there is an atmosphere of relaxation there are believers that frown at dinners there are believers that frowned at any opportunity to relax and listen no no don't do this there are more important things they say is wrong there are fathers that will not allow this incorporated in their family there are mothers that will not allow this incorporated oh we just feel like getting two chickens just to cut no occasion see that's why it's part of my reservation about things like valentine because they are not exactly sincere most of the things that are done around this period are just emotions they are not revelations so someone that had no there's no iota of being nice suddenly changes for two days or four days that experience should not be desired because it will not continue [Music] am i against valentine's day do your thing but i'm just telling you that this is the revelation there is a pleasure dimension to life that's the reason why i came to serve god i came to preach in koinonia i didn't come to drink water however they know that there is a dimension of love that must be captured and they kept me a bottle of water how grateful i am for this hallelujah there are believers who don't know what the bible calls the joy of salvation said after me the joy of salvation brothers and sisters there is joy in salvation if that experience has not been featured in your life vet what you did that you caught born again or vet the atmosphere you are submitting your spiritual understanding to i detest a life that is just full of passion and commitment and then pleasure is not captured how about schools that flood children alone there's no opportunity they are either reading or serving punishment that's how many of us were raised that's how many of us were raised our families did not have provision you are sleeping you are praying you are reading or you are walking break time they give you 10 minutes now it looks like it's a nice thing but it's destructive go and ask the most productive people and corporations they create scenarios and foster people to have times when their minds can relax is god helping us capture this capture this they met jesus with little children as visionary as he is and then the serious disciples are by jesus you are soon to die remember all of this and jesus please carry on let the little children come to me and do not forbid them for such most adults who say these are children please jesus let's focus on what matters jesus said i don't know what you are talking about there was a time they saw him with prostitutes and people he was not preaching he was eating with them cracking jokes and laughing if this is not featured in our lives somewhere we are missing it man of god listen to me spiritual brothers and sisters listen to me your service and your spirituality should not strangle the trouble becomes when your entire life is defined by pleasure your whole life revolves around the impulses of pleasure you are back to the feelings we are talking about [Music] i was told the other day that the worship team went through an aerobic session i was so blessed you think all they do is to pray there was a time i think the prayer department were having was it a seminar something like that and that's why after service you should not stop people from those brief moments where they are how are you that's why we cut jokes in the middle of the service even if you say miracle service doesn't matter whose problem you have your medical repository talk to your neighbor tell them i love you say god bless you that's why after service i say hug someone and say something some of you as soon as the grace of our lord jesus christ the love of god you frown your face you go and stand outside listen i respect your commitment to vision but you are robbing yourself and god and your environment of this dimension of love friendliness this dimension let's hurry up number four if god is helping you say amen [Music] the fourth dimension of love is sacrifice sacrifice the length the breath the height the depth of the love of god it is these compositions that make the fullness of god's love what is sacrifice giving up something you consider valuable for the sake of someone or a better cause giving up something you consider valuable for the sake of someone or a better course giving up something you consider valuable for the sake of someone or a better course [Music] you must give up something if you want to fulfill the last dimension of love sacrifice talks of constraint sacrifice talks of inconvenience very uncomfortably sometimes sacrifice talks of pain [Music] language our generation does not know again pain [Music] constraint the inconveniences that if need be you may have to go through because of someone or a cause that you consider to be nobler please look up i have mentioned four parameters ready what's number one passion what's number two commitment what's number three pleasure what's number four sacrifice sacrifice is sacrifice featured in your idea of love love for your vision love for your assignment brothers and sisters we are all happy right now enjoying what god is doing here but how many of you know that since as early as maybe sometimes seven in the morning work is already going on in cgc here prayer department members came by four four o'clock praying for at least one hour for this meeting the worship team here several people you came and found seats arranged already you came and found the seats clean sometimes during the rainy season you see the pain as soon as you share the grace you are going to hug one another and go back every week i leave this place past 12 the next day past 12 because i have to spend an extra one or two hours standing the moment i come for koinonia i sit down only for a few minutes once i get up standing it is until i leave while you are sitting i'm standing sometimes during the walker's retreat i am standing from it at about nine sometimes till evening or night and afterwards i may still have to counsel people and go back show me your sacrifice as a proof of love show me the sacrifice you are doing for that sister as a proof that you love her show me the sacrifice you are doing for that brother show me the sacrifice you are doing for your wife your husband your children if there is no sacrifice there is no love [Music] love is measured by sacrifice not sacrifice alone but it is an index i look at parents and i see how they care for their children i look at other parents i see how irresponsible they are over their children oh we need school fees or we need something sorry i need to do something and they say i love you no sir lord i love you and then you want to give all free you came with 2 000 you remove hundred naira and return it back you remove 59 and return it back then you remove the old 29 god is watching saying is that what you call love sacrifice [Music] these people are standing every single one of them i'm here preaching you are here enjoying and male and female they are standing if we stand during colonial vigils they are standing when they get tired they go back to rest a bit some of the people come sacrifice believers don't understand the language of sacrifice every little inconvenience there's no ac there's no this there's no this sacrifice the sacrifice of waking up in the night whether it's convenient or not to pray the sacrifice to pursue and study the sacrifice to delay gratification with your finances god gave you one small one or two million instead of blowing it to live a fake life you say let me pay the price and sacrifice this so that my children will eat what i did not eat sacrifice how many selfish parents i'm sorry to say with all due respect they saw the future of the children they saw their present they would have paid their price some of us would have been happy now but they chose their belly at the expense of a generation [Music] they had the opportunity to have bought the land in 1964 1974 just buying the land without developing it instead of going for one polo club competition they would have used that money to buy the land that single land would have been over a hundred million today and they would have been able to train everybody empower their young men support their sisters but selfishness and they look at you and say children i love you no wonder the resentment rises in many young people for their parents there is no sacrifice you hardly will hate someone or a thing that sacrifices how many leaders claim they love their people how many pastors claim they love their members there is no index to measure sacrifice everything that is on inconvenience goes to the members the convenience comes to the pastor no sir [Music] a true shepherd lays down does not walk on his sheep lays down what are you laying down [Music] for your wife what are you laying down for your husband what are you laying down for that come darling for that lady you want to get married to what are you laying down for the guy you want to get married [Music] his birthday is coming well let me put something small you call him hello sir your your birthday is coming can you give me the money to cook for you is that sacrifice [Applause] is that sacrifice [Applause] [Music] that sacrifice [Music] how many of our parents claim that they love a student or they love whatever they come into a city where you are dear carry out a business transaction cannot even drop a small envelope is when they leave they say i came there there is no sacrifice sacrifice is not about convenience so do not expect it to be convenient there are times but for god and men it will inconvenience you ask any married man there are times when a straight between between your child school fees and another equally important thing but you may have to lay it down bless god for some of our mothers that will not buy one rapper for five years so that their children will eat now that's love to me bless god for some of our fathers who would rather pack the car and not take 400 thousand to buy a new gearbox he says that 400 thousand can sponsor my children let me send them to school not so that they will feed me back when they are graduates that's investment that's not love [Music] are we together our generation does not understand the language of sacrifice sister let me tell you you are not a good wife if you don't understand sacrifice unfortunately you know i love our sisters but there is a deception that is looming across the horizon where many ladies believe everything about relationship is all about their pleasure and enjoyment anything that has to do with a little sacrifice they frown and revolt and rebel no how about brothers who think because you are a celebrity figo because you are this you are a graduate you are working in an oil and gas company and all these things are happening you want the lady to worship you forever because you are this somebody is lying to somebody somewhere [Music] sacrifice [Music] sacrifice how many businessmen cannot make sacrifice for their future how many young men i look at some not necessarily here i look around and i see young people that i know don't have anything much i see what they are wearing i watch their shoes even a millionaire is not wearing that kind of shoe and i asked them what do you have in saving them nothing [Music] and that person wants to marry and that person is looking at a lady he loves or a guy that he loves how many ladies carry their future and use it to make themselves beautiful today no sacrifice people are poor not just because the devil is powerful this sacrifice is what we lack in our generation [Music] hallelujah you are considering a relationship or you are considering marriage or you are married please don't go into it it's not a sin be ready for sacrifice first there are men who will come back with salary and ask their wives my wife can can you give this person twenty thousand whereas you have your own one million let's tell ourselves the truth and it starts from relationship [Music] sacrifice these four dimensions are the dimensions that spare love give us ephesians chapter three again ephesians chapter three let's hurry up 18 that you will be able to comprehend with all the saints and that includes the family of koinonia what is the passion and the commitment and the pleasure and the sacrifice dimensions that are involved the bible calls these dimensions the fullness of the love of god i want you to look at this carefully which dimension so when you say brother i love you or sister i love you or destiny i love you or jesus i love you my question again is which of one of them all of them jesus [Music] i have pleasure to watch you on the things you can give me he says wonderful how about sacrifice for me how about commitment for me no i don't have those ones let me show you a secret brothers and sisters that will give you an opportunity to enjoy your marriage your relationship your vision whether you are born again or not if you subscribe to these four templates on anything you will succeed in it it's true some of the best i've studied some of the top business entrepreneurs around the world these they subscribe to this template they may not acknowledge jesus don't just look at their results look at their passion look at their commitment look at the pleasure they derive from what they are doing no matter how cumbersome and then look at the sacrifices i i studied one one particular businessman and when i saw what that guy went through i said compared to what he went to i still think that the world still should reward him his name is nicola tesla tesla is one of the genesis had about 700 patents to his honor he lived a secluded life of sacrifice created the inventions today that we are credited to different people it was the product of the pain of that man didn't get married in his life [Music] didn't do a lot of things began to research many of he was like yes ahead of humanity and he died living his blessing sacrifice i watched miles monroe's videos great mentor in life and in death i see how that that man cheated death he's long gone but his wisdom still guides us there is illumination the touch from his experiences guide us towards a great destiny what are you willing to lay down for the anointing you claim you want what are you willing to lay down for the kind of lady you are praying for what are you willing to lay down sister for the kind of husband you are praying for it is free but it's not cheap you must be willing to lay down something lord i want a visionary guy i want somebody who loves god god says they are all available let me see what you are willing to lay down can you lay down the time the ego the inconvenience will you be able to submit to such a man with gladness as one who is worthy of your honor for his paradigm oh lord i have my own ego i don't want to be cheap and god says all right go and find men who are like you but if it's my son you want you must be serious oh lord i want this lady beautiful gorgeous whatever parameters you use and god says they are available but gentlemen let me see what you are willing to lay down a lady who is that virtuous deserves a responsible man a lady who is that virtuous god will tell you deserves a blessed man if you consider that lady to be priceless enough then you must rise to the occasion [Music] we have this pride in our world that all fingers are equal is a lie that includes human beings sister there are some kinds of brothers god will never give you the way you are it's not a bad talk it is true god is not a fool he gave unto his womb five talents two this is god oh who is not unjust god is not unjust but he gives one five talents i talk to brothers and sometimes when i hear brothers i ask them questions what kind of sister do you want when they describe that lady i look at the brother and i know he's joking i already know his prayer will not be answered because god is not a fool if you want the level of qualitative sister you are making for you because god will not yoke people on equally no sir lord i want a ministry like benny him and god says really are you willing to do what benihin is doing that for two weeks he can close himself and nobody will see him at the beginning of a new year the first seven days nobody sees him drive fast he's alone with god accessing power don't let the suit deceive you if you want to marry belize you must be able to be like him otherwise you'll be on equally you you will carry pleasure into the relationship and benign will say you love that benny he came from this secret place it's amazing how people revolt when they see the demands for their desires i want prosperity oh god i want to be blessed i'm a millennial in jesus name and god says no problem millionaires from me must be able to say yes sir to every instruction i give agreed yes give the only one million in your account i said god i don't understand say you help me you want me to bless you you want me to talk to someone else who is like you to send 10 million to your account please to me you are worthy to be my treasurer by answering me every time i speak to you you would think is the kind of abraham's test that god will say stop till your internet transfer descent is gone and then your balance is one error or five naira and you think god will talk to the person to send it back he's gone and brothers and sisters two months after that giving you feel like dying and you say lord but i'm not lazy it took me three years to save this one million and the heavens become silent you think god is not watching he's looking one day this god one day you are sitting somewhere that is not your business and someone will come and say there is a contract somewhere um do you have a company yes i have but why not what do you do i sell clothes leave clothes they come and he gives you something and all of a sudden millions enter your account and people say it's not fair say go and ask him what is not fair about it don't be angry when you see god lifting people find out what they are doing the blood that drips from their altar is what attracts the attention of heaven when you see a man of god sometimes people just hear me talk oh the power of god is this and people are shouting it's not magical my brother find out what my secret place is don't don't claim i say it he is grace but we are not stupid there is a sacrifice on that altar you see those things you get up and touch somebody because the bible says bless no there is a sacrifice we all know jesus among other reasons because he hung on that cross brothers and sisters i hope you know there was no covering around him it's just films that put it because children will be watching too that 33 year old man was hung naked on the cross his only covering was blood he would have stopped it but he said this is the price for that tone so don't you dare insult that tongue that's why every demon must answer when you invoke the power in that tool you don't know what he went through [Music] the highest and noblest expression of true love is sacrifice it's not the only one but it is sacrifice pray one minute over these four things we're still going to continue pray while you are seated [Music] please pray [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] pray lord give me the grace that person be captured in my definition of love let me be passionate about something let me be passionate about my wife let me be passionate about my husband let's be sincere and tell us ourselves the truth are you passionate about the business are you passionate about god are you committed to the sister are you committed to the brother or you just want to marry you want to exit bachelorhood you want to exit princeton and you are so selfish that you are not looking to see that you are actually capturing these dimensions how about pleasure [Applause] pleasure your life must produce pleasure to your spouse your life must produce pleasure to your parents to your leaders to your office to your company you can't just be taken for life must produce pleasure to god yes all men are not perfect but your life must produce pleasure to god finally sacrifice pray this issue of having it at my times let me spray this issue of having it at my will no sir it can't always be the way you want life is not like that go and ask any married man ask anybody in a visionary relationship as every millionaire as any great man of god there are constraints there are times it will not go your way don't take it personal there are times it will not go your way sacrifice [Music] what then is love seeing that love is not feeling seeing that love is not emotions seeing that love is not a beautiful face a macho's six-pack seeing that love is not a g-pad outside seeing that love is not the ability to cook well in a lady saying that love is not even the prayer favor of a guy what then is love for the rest of your life as you live don't forget what i'm about to teach you if you master this as taught by the inventor of love himself higher than any relationship expert higher than any consultant psychologist this is god's perspective of love number one love true love is a choice write it down true love is a choice true love is a choice it's an act of the will true love is not feelings when you believe you are in love then it is a choice listen come to sin the next time you say tosin i love you what you have said is toasting i choose you by the act of my will i have chosen whether or not i think you are the best whether or not i think you are the brightest whether or not i think you are the finest chef whether or not i think you are the most beautiful lady the most handsome guy the most visionary the most born again whether or not this business is the one that makes me become a millionaire fastest whether or not this ministry is the most anointed when i say i love you i'm saying i choose you it's a choice any manifestation of love especially in the context of relationship and marriage that usuals the will of man is witchcraft no matter what vision you see about what lady no matter what dream you have about what brother no matter what counsellors tell you in the final analysis your will must be involved otherwise it is not true love write it down love true love is a choice [Music] a choice to be and live with someone in the context of marriage when you say you love someone it is a decision you have made to be a decision to live without someone not a decision to live with the person look up if the person is perfect not a decision to live with someone if things are good or bad [Music] when you say jesus i love you now you know what you are saying jesus i choose you i have gone online and googled all the gods on the earth and i've seen names that i was never told but i checked everything and i came to you jesus for whatever reason have made up my mind to go god's way for the rest of my life that's love brother i've made up my mind [Music] he made up his mind that as far as this life is concerned this is the personality who will be with me it doesn't matter whether he's happy with her or sad it doesn't matter whether she's happy with him or something whatever differences arise is not worthy enough to corrupt this decision brothers that's love if you ever say you like a lady make sure this is what you are saying so as i'm talking now be checking what you are doing are you choosing the person for now or are you choosing the person some of you are about to ask ladies this week next week listen before you go to anybody and say i love you ask a very clear question have i chosen you or are you just choosing because of your level of exposure i suspect a mecca is a doctor i'm not yet clear so let me let me say yes to him while i verify if i find out oh i i thought he was the one it's another face so i don't love him again i love you i choose you if a maker says i know i studied medicine but the lord is calling me and he's sending me to zamfara now your love is being tested you thought it was about a great guy who would be a consultant have his private hospital fly you around unfortunately you said you choose him [Music] many of us young people don't know what we're saying truly speaking when we mention this love thing likely lord i love the assignments you have given me and then we sit down two years lord i said i love you and i love this assignment but i have only five members i have nobody's caring for me lord i'm on my way going after all i read this i can once that extramurals and god says you don't love it a choice everybody say a choice say it again a choice ask anybody who has been married for a long time they will tell you they will legitimate reasons as to why they will feel they made a mistake in that marriage but every time they remember their choice that's why when you stand on stage with your wife they don't ask your father to answer for you or your mother to answer for you like rapture you stand alone [Music] is god speaking to us tonight because what i'm saying is very important i love you too much and god knows and sees my heart that i have an assignment to bridge the ignorance and the catastrophe that the devil is programming to happen between young people and young ladies many ladies who claim they love many guys have not chosen [Music] therein lies the revelation of these hilarious mood swings that fly up today and tomorrow a choice is a costly thing when you know the gravity you will not be hasty you will think well you will say i am 35 i need to worry about time is not on my side to choose [Music] that's why it matters who preaches to you to give your life to christ it matters what you are told if all you are told is that you come to jesus christ and all your troubles go away i believe in the victory of christ but brothers and sisters i've shown you the dimensions of love and there are times that some of those dimensions will cost you there are people who gave their lives to christ and they did not last seven days they knew that what they were signing up for was a bomb blast there are reverends in different parts of this nation who said i love you and with all the terrorism there jesus i love you and on sunday they heard the sounds of bombs and they still got up and looked at their wives and said honey if i never come back let it be that i died for the one i loved and they went and were killed and never returned they got up that morning knowing they may die who corrupted our definition of love and left it only to pleasure and that at our own times you may not like me for what i'm sharing but i tell you this this is the recommendation from the inventor of this thing a choice i've made a choice to serve god with all my life if donald trump calls me and says young man we want to give you a very noble position in america you're receiving a salary of hundred thousand dollars per month with anything you want do you think i'll run and leave you i know what some of you will do just hearing it although you are not the ones you will never come to church again you want cook food i'm breathable as they remember me though man forsake me still i will fall low no turning back no turning back [Applause] no man forsake me still i will fall this work of the ministry you see me do is not because i don't have options brothers and sisters this man standing before you is a businessman i think i'm quite smart there are many other things i would have chosen to do with my life are we together yes but it's a choice that i will stand and communicate the life and the power of jesus i never came into ministry for honorarium do you know let me tell you god is my witness when i started ministry i didn't know they used to give men seeds but right now you see every young man quarrelling just because they call him into a small group to share something for 10 minutes and he finishes he refuses to go [Music] you call him come and play keyboard in the hands of god a small church that the entire titan offering is not up to 30 30 000. the president said pay me 20 000 because he went to a music school it's a choice it's a choice that's why we must take care of our children because they did not choose we owe a responsibility to take care of them even if the couples make mistake with their lives the children must not be victims of it they didn't choose [Music] any relationship built by force and whose power to choose is taken away is an ungodly relationship at every point of your relationship the power to choose must remain listen that's why those who abuse women are going to hell fire if they don't repent those who beat and when a man beats and slaps his wife forcing her to make a decision when a woman beats and slaps her husband forcing him to make it a decision when a woman manipulates her husband against his will like jezebel into doing what was not willingly decided that's not love is witchcraft every relationship and every marriage must leave the willingness of the personalities involved sadly this extends right now in the days that we leave even to extended families where parents and in-laws attempt to choose their hands and manipulate the state of marriages if you must marry my daughter or now that you are married to my daughter you must live in london or you must live in this no matter what god is telling you these things are wrong [Applause] love is a choice and everything around it must remain a choice now let me tell you this this is how god helps people especially when it comes to making decisions you can go to god and god will tell you son i gave you the will to choose whatever woman you want and you say lord i take that will back by myself to you because i am not sure of my decision i know how vulnerable i am so justify before heaven that you gave me the power to choose i have returned it back to you as a token of my trust and god says now that's it you have proven to me that if i choose a wife for you it is not against your will because you trust me that's the only condition where you will see the dream and trust it and the vision and trust it not just that you get up and see anything and stand up and blame god is a choice number two true love is understanding the value the worth and the significance of a person true love is understanding the value the worth the significance of a person or a thing to god to you and to humanity true love is understanding the value the worth the importance the significance of a person to god number one to your life number two and to society number three the second definition of love is love is understanding value when you pay fifty thousand dollars to buy a car you pack that guy in a special garage because of what it cost you to obtain it now watch this come are you ready to marry this woman and take her as your lovely wedded wife you said yes they asked her what of you yes two of you and then just because she should she did not she was not able to give you a child listen carefully first month of marriage no child second month of marriage no child or whatever it is all of a sudden you begin to make delegatory statements two men cannot live in the same house so what you are saying is i listen i do not see your worth i do not see your value i do not see your significance to god to me and to society true love is understanding the value of things so when you are doing that business you love that business only if you understand the significance of that business to kingdom advancement the significance of that business to your finances the significance to the development of your society if not don't say i love it why do i wake up in the night and study and prepare for every message and labor through the hours is because i love god it's because i love you i understand what this information will do to your life will do to the kingdom will do to your children and your children's children never say you love any lady whose significance to your life you have not perceived let me tell you this look at me everybody if you have any measure of success before a lady or a man enters your life be careful because the most successful you are chances are that you will hardly see the significance of a man or a woman in your life there are successful women who are collecting three hundred thousand as single ladies four hundred thousand are single ladies they are traveling to embassies they have snapped with presidents there is every likelihood that they will be bad wives you know why because based on their experiences almost everything a man should represent has been represented in their success so when they say they want to marry a man they find out that when the man comes and says my food say your your what are you crazy i stay in a hotel with tating towels and servants come and give me this and you are saying i should pound yam for you you are reducing me they say to a village girl the best recommendation for such a beautiful sister is remain single and support the kingdom [Music] [Applause] yes you will be more useful to god it's true that's what paul didn't marry if paul married only god knows the version of pain that the church would have received the wife would have seen a husband less than 10 times in his entire lifetime [Music] are we together understanding value i watch relationships and i see how the ladies devalue the men because maybe they do read certain things or they have not become certain things yet and you see the communication of devaluation to the men that's not love love is that i perceive your significance in my life why do i love god or do i really love god yes i have seen the value of god in my life are you for without me he can do nothing so when i say lord i love you and i seek you i'm not doing god a favor by coming to church when i come to church his word cleanses me and gives me an understanding that programs me for victory is not a favor to god [Music] are we together it is because vashti did not see the significance of a hazardous in her life so when he said vasi come and flaunt yourselves he said so i'm now a property now i don't know what he has done but she has forgotten that that guy is a king over 127 provinces brothers and sisters let's not lie to ourselves that's a great man a man who is a king over 127 provinces deserves the honor of any woman who is wise is true so she said well i don't know what you are saying you have money i have money you have the throne i have a beautiful face and he said off you go then it occurred to her that there are older options it was a choice to keep you the same way you say lord if i don't come for koinonia joshua selma you can't do anything and god is okay i will raise somebody that didn't even finish secondary school an anointing is dr paul and nature that says god will use the calabash to disgrace the pot he will use calabash to fetch water so that the pot will see that that you are being used is not because you don't have holes it's because god is giving you a chance there's nothing called indispensable in this kingdom now there are wives that when they get married they don't care again not about their husbands not about anything there are husbands when they get married there are guys that when they say when a lady says yes to them that's the end of it there are ladies that when a guy asks them out and now they know that singleness is over people change and vacillate because there is no understanding please don't ever ask any lady you do not see her worth and significance in your life the danger is you will punish that dear lady and you will victimize her don't ever say yes to any man you know you will not be proud on what based on the value it is painful to watch a guy do his best for a lady and she keeps giving an impression you are not worthy enough or a lady does her very best to a guy and he's communicating is not enough evil god does not do that to you when he sees your sacrifices god acts as thought he cannot do without you that should flatter you what is true [Music] i searched for a man he jimmy the god of the heavens who made the heavens and the earth parted the sea with the breath of his nostrils is going around searching and that such came to a young poor small boy called joshua salman and he says can i use you to shake the nations god but you can do without me i know i have limited myself because i love you i have made you follow a bull in my program that's god if you're married here or you're in a relationship you should go back and find what significance your husband your wife or your friend or your business means to you and to god i'm giving you a basis don't just say yes to a guy don't just ask a lady out don't just start business discern the value are we together yes i love our daddy here with all my heart i love him i've made a choice to love and honor him but i've also discerned the relevance and the significance of his authority his influence to my life to this ministry to the advancement of god's kingdom many of us do not respect our parents because we have not discerned when a woman is treating her husband anyhow what she's saying is i looked at my life and i've not found where you are valuable that's not a good thing when a guy looks at a lady and treats her like a piece of rag what he's simply trying to say is my dear i have not seen your relevance that's why it's dangerous to tie love to things like beauty and the rest because by the time she's 50 years old and she's not as beautiful as she was 19 or 20 or 21 when you married her now all of a sudden oh the guy was tall dark and handsome and now the guy is suffering from prostate cancer and he has to be related to a wheelchair and you are the one doing the pushing don't say job's wife did not love him now you know job's wife stood close to him she was frustrated she spoke anyhow but she remained there till he was healed now listen let me say one thing that is going to shock many of you we're rounding off [Music] the only part of love that is unconditional is choice you know we say agape's unconditional love is true but let me break it down to you not every part of love is unconditional the choice to remain the choice to stay with your wife or your husband is unconditional but the honor that's going to be the third point that i will give is conditional you're a man is not going to sit down and live irresponsibly and then expect every manifestation of honor that is accrued to greatness it doesn't work that way the choice is what should never change are we together god has chosen to love all men but it does not bestow the same honor upon them it is based on their alignment this is god let's finish the second point i love you means i understand the extent of your usefulness and significance to my life and destiny that's what it means that means there is no shame of being vulnerable eduma loves his daughter she's there taking water and enjoying herself and he's there well dressed she may pour water on his shed doesn't matter he understands the significance of this dear lady there are people looking for children and god has blessed him and he's not ashamed to be vulnerable there are mothers here who were just a few years ago young ladies but right now they have to run to one breastfeed their children and they are not embarrassed because they understand the value of the gift of a child please don't get into any relationship where there is no absolute revelation of the value of the person you are bringing in your life abuse is a product of lack of discerning value whether to a woman or to a man a man that beats his wife is not just an ungodly man he's a man who does not love her do you know why because he has not discerned her value if i told you this watch was for instance 300 000 right i have placed value on it and say i'm wearing on my hands an object that is 300 000 worth of gold and then if i remove it and give you will you forget it on a chair please talk to me you will protect it your protection is a revelation of the value and what it can do to you that you can remove this watch and run to kano black market and make over 360 000 from this watch and so if i give you you say thank you if some tears a piece of paper from his book and gives you you may forget it on the ground that's exactly the revelation you give in the way you treat your children so when a man has five children and does not take care of them what he's saying is i don't think any of you will be useful in this life so there is no point being committed to your future [Music] value the keeper of israel he'll never sleep no slumber he's watching over me he knows i'm useful to his kingdom the keeper of israel will never sleep nor slumber he's watching over there is a law in this ministry anybody who is sick will make sure that within 24 hours latest 48 that report would have reached me and the heads of departments alongside other executives try to meet the person in partnership with the welfare department if need be we send them to the hospital and as much as we can food the bill we love them but the truth is we have seen the significance of a precious worker to the continuity of this assignment i will not be too arrogant to say without you god will still move i know he can still move but since he has chosen you then i must respect it i can't act as if your participation is not helping the ministry right i can't act as if without you sometimes we do that thing we must be careful do not be embarrassed to communicate value there are people in my life who are useful i let them know there are people in this ministry who are useful i let them know have you communicated value to those who mean a lot to you but your destiny help us and your enemies are in the same category your mind there is no body that is worth your understanding their value and their usefulness number three we have to round up [Music] true value is honor true love i meant to say is honor is first a choice then it is understanding the worth and the usefulness of a person or a thing to you and then true love is unknown what is honor the recognition the acknowledgement and the celebration can even be the rewarding of that value that you now understand is not enough to know that a wife is valuable to you no matter how much you love god without a woman you will not be able to have another child another life so when a woman comes into your life just because you put a ring in her hand does not mean you treat her like a piece of rag she is the mother of your children she is the reason why you are called abba father [Music] wife don't treat your husband or you're in a relationship treat the other party no when they say those who are in a relationship stand up if you ever stand up as a ladies because somebody designed you enough to ask you out and even sustain the courage to go and see your parents please don't take it for granted survive all the embarrassing things that needed to go through and they asked him before the whole world are you willing to take care of this lady he said yes most ladies don't understand that being a man is very hard it's easy to stand like a referee and a commentator and a supporters club you are supposed to bring the scooches however by now you should have a car let me submit to you being a man is hard that's why the prisons are full of them [Music] they try and try and try it doesn't work legally they jump in luxurious bus and they are caught they try the pressure that women put on men put on their husbands buy this buy that build their house buy they just name it because nigerian film showed that if you love me you must spend on me let's be careful to be a man is a sacrifice that's why jesus didn't come as a woman he came as a man now i'm not i'm not teaching some feminist thing i have great regard and respect but there are certain burdens no matter what human rights movement is flaunting the earth there are some loads that only a man a man is a mystery is a system he's not just a masculine figure with a husky voice he's more than that he's a burden bearer any man you ever see that is paying the price to keep his family or keep a relationship please respect the person don't open your mouth and run people's families there are there are men who don't sleep in the night when their wives are sleeping lord open the doors for my children don't sit down and trivialize it love is honor the recognition the celebration that's what esther did when esther came she knew she was a beautiful lady but when a hazardous chose her for the rest of her life in that palace she honored the king he said look i hope you know that you are choosing ladies if they were offering what of me this pride will destroy your sisters please i talk to you from a heart of love when a man who is worthy of honor comes into your life and proves himself to be worthy of honor do not be ashamed to communicate that honor a businessman comes into your life and wants to advise you you have seen his result don't act like we are colleagues humble yourself and communicate the honor that's why we don't come before god and do big manners and when it's time to worship him we can kneel down and roll on the floor and say lord it is you that gave me life how which will give you life where your mother is yes i know and god says you did this to me let the blessings come down the embarrassment of showering honor between husbands and wives wives husbands students lecturers parents children mentors mentees leaders is what is destroying people's concept of love i love you means i am willing to intentionally recognize acknowledge celebrate and reward your uniqueness and your usefulness in my life so if i say pastor toby i love you or promise i love you what i'm trying to say is i have come to terms with the fact that if you live my life i can't lie that i will not feel it that's honor and i'm willing to express it herein lies the pride that destroys relationships the pride that destroys marriage where husbands claim they can do without their wives where wives claim they can do without their husband when a company worker claims he can do without his ceo when mentees claim they can live without a mentor when a member claims he knows everything the pastor is saying oh no the willingness [Music] first samwell chapter 2 and verse 30. i know the usefulness of the worship team to my life as a person to coinonia as a ministry i know the usefulness of the prayer department to my life i know the usefulness of all of the people that represent this ministry i know the usefulness of the media department to my efficiency in preaching i know the usefulness of all the people seated outside that's why we honor you by providing bosses after service it costs us a lot but for as long as god grants grace we will continue doing it it's on you honor me and you respect me very much and i appreciate because you have seen not just the significance of god in your life you have come to discern my usefulness and you are not ashamed to express it that's why you send the text messages of honor that's why you sow the seeds i wait to see you after service as tired as i am whether i've eaten or not because i honor you god gave me the anointing because you are dear if you are not there the anointing will not come to me much more than prayer and fasting the anointing is only in my life because there is someone to receive so i can pay the price to receive true honor [Music] is mutual i'm rounding up true or not is mutual write it down especially in the context of marriage and relationships through one-sided honor is selfishness and it is devilish the woman cannot be the one communicating or no indefinitely no a wise man must reciprocate back on i honor the lord he honors me with his presence he honors me with results i can speak and say there's someone in overflow three and a long distance from where i am the angel of the lord's presence will honor that word spoken by a small man elijah or not the lord the lord or not his word true honor is mutual many relationships suffer many marriages suffer many business relationships suffer many friendships suffer because there is a one-sided communication of honor so come darling the husband sees the value of the woman showers all kinds of love like crisis church make sure that she's looking beautiful make sure that she's happy make sure that the children are well taken care of and then the woman takes him for granted after all is your right i didn't ask you out you are the one who chased me they say dangerous there must be a reciprocation the same way a woman is almost worshipping her husband like sarah calling abraham lord going out of her way doing things she never would have done to communicate honor and here comes the arrogant and pompous man beating his chest many of our loved ones that's how they humiliated our village mothers some of our mothers who came from the village and met a little father who had the privilege to go to school and he spent his life humiliating our mothers because he felt after all you were a village girl somewhere i took you and cleaned you and for that you will keep worshipping me for the rest of your life no sir unknown is mutual lord i love you son i back you lord i worship you son i honor you my wife thank you for being beautiful and looking wonderful for me my husband thank you for being responsible to make me like this honor [Music] are we together oh my son thank you for paying the price you took first position you made me a proud father daddy thank you so much i have watched them drive children for school fees but you paid my school fees a session beforehand i acknowledge you there will hardly be any fight when there is a determination from both parties to consistently don't say i know it in my heart even god knows my brother men look at the outward appearance don't say i know it in my heart i love you means i am willing to celebrate your usefulness not just your uniqueness i am willing are you willing to celebrate the uniqueness of that lady you love that you are about to ask during valentine are you willing to celebrate the usefulness of that brother that god gave you you are seeing ladies trusting god for brothers you are seeing brothers trusting god for ladies you were not even praying and god brought a correct brother to you you are about to lose that brother because of lack of discernment and lack of honor god brought a nice lady to you you are seeing ladies giving men heart attack all around town and god gave you a nice lady with a meek and a quiet spirit and you are about taking it for granted a lady you can count hundred thousand and give and she says my husband thank you but i know that you have a greater need ten thousand will do the family take ninety thousand and do something with it as a proof of trust not that she pockets and keeps you as it is wicked man you have a lady that is that vulnerable to you and can move herself for you and you are not going to behave yourself and are not that woman like you would a trophy there is problem in our society we must learn we are going to pray tonight i know that our time has gone but this is what love is it is a choice a choice love is a perception of the value of god of men of loss to the usefulness of your life and love is the celebration of that usefulness don't take anything for granted in your life don't take anything for granted in your life you can take this finger for granted until the day there is a weak load here and you find out that the pain from this finger will force your leg as healthy as it is from walking that's the day you will know that this finger plays a role men who are seven feet tall died because the small heart stopped working you small heart you call it a great man can run to india because two tiny substances called ice stopped walking his hands didn't stop walking but just because the eyes were not working it can paralyze the man could it be that what you are ignoring in your life may be the epicenter of your relevance and you ignore it anything you dishonor is authorized to live your life a husband may not live your life your wife may not live your life the person you are going out with may not live your life but something about them will lead you is true i will teach you something next week one of them there is a powerful the most important part of this teaching is what is about to come but i'll afford that for next week jesus grant us grace do we have something to pray about rise up on your feet tonight is a sober night i know it's been a challenging time for different people but i want you to remember everything i've said love is not feelings love is not emotions it's more than that love is not the tingly feeling towards a person or a thing no there are dimensions to love there is passion there is commitment there is pleasure there is sacrifice and then i define love for you as defined by god himself that number one true love is a choice number two true love is a perception of the value the usefulness a comprehension of the need don't marry until you understand the usefulness of marriage to your life to god's agenda don't have children until you understand the usefulness of children to your life don't bring a wife don't bring a husband until you descend their usefulness and then honor the outspoken unashamed recognition rewarding celebrating of that usefulness in your life lift your voice and thank the lord for the spirit of wisdom tonight [Music] now you can say lord i love you from the standpoint of the revelation that you have lord i love you it's a choice that i've made it's a choice that i've made i'm passionate towards you i'm committed towards you i derive pleasure being with you and i'm ready to lay down everything it need be for you i've made a choice it is a choice i understand your usefulness in my life i understand your significance in my life and i'm willing to celebrate you no other god can tell his creator i love you i don't take you for granted that you love me that you died for me hallelujah just one prayer tonight lord break down my pride and in in the place of that space create room for this revelation let it enter me go ahead and pray take away every pride from my life some of you what i'm saying is hard on you but it is the word of the lord it is the spirit of wisdom to your life [Music] lord burn this truth in my heart that every time i say i love his sister i love a brother i love my wife i love my husband i love my job i love calling nonia i love the holy spirit let it be that i have an understanding that i've made my choice i designed a usefulness and i'm ready to celebrate i'm ready to reward i'm ready to appreciate hallelujah listen please everyone stand when you reject jesus and you say i don't love you you know what you have said now i have the power to say yes to you but i use my will and i reject you number two when you say no to jesus what you say is that i have not seen your usefulness in my life i've seen the usefulness of a certificate so i pursued it i've seen the usefulness of a job so i'm still dropping my cv but i have not seen your usefulness number three i do not think you are important and worthy of my worship and my acknowledgements prayer lift your hands let's pray father touch us tonight turn that song into a prayer sincere prayer touch me [Music] let there be a witness that your hand came upon me jesus lord we bless you [Music] that we will never go back to say hallelujah praise the lord hallelujah when you know the truth it will truly make you free yes scripture does not lie it says and thou shalt know the truth not that you are aware there is an activity of the truth and it says if it is true that you have found it and it is true then watch out your life will become a wonder the keys of the kingdom were designed to walk they were not designed to be tried if they don't work it is because they are not engaged with understanding can you cry in one minute say lord i come with humility tonight help me please pray spirit of wisdom we receive richly richly richly of the wisdom of god tonight we ask that he will change us he will lift us and that our lives will produce the results our lives will be testaments our results will validate our encounters let it be true that we have met you let it be true that we have met your wisdom [Music] in the name of jesus hallelujah please be seated god bless you [Music] tonight again we are going to hear the wisdom of god it never tires me to allow the wisdom of god communicate to god's people we desperately need the wisdom of god the bible lets us know that there are all kinds of wisdom there is demonical wisdom there is the wisdom of men sofia acquired through science and interacting with our environment but there is wisdom that cometh from above the bible says the character of that wisdom is such that it is pure pure will produce as expected when engaged hallelujah praise the lord i want you to really pay attention to what i'm going to teach tonight i really believe i know that for all our teachings i know that we are paying attention and god is helping us but please pay attention it's amazing how that the fact that you are making contact with a speaker does not mean you are listening hallelujah the bible says let him that has an ear you would think all men have ears now hallelujah you only hear when you listen [Music] what you hear is your revelation out of what is being communicated he that has an ear and can pay attention let him hear what the spirit says hallelujah last week we began a very interesting discussion about the subject of relationships and we took an angle attempting to understand love and please if you have not listened to the message i want you to go and listen to it patiently and gain understanding we discussed a number of things last week we spoke about the deceptiveness of emotions as being the basis of our understanding of love how that emotions are not wrong in themselves except that because they are impulsive communications that can be as a result of you know physiological changes [Music] that emotions in themselves are temporal and they are not a valid basis for making relational decisions we said a number of things about feelings and remember i taught you last week four dimensions of love that according to ephesians chapter 3 when you read from verse 18 the bible attempts to describe paul is teaching the people about the fullness of god's love and then he begins to give it dimensions and says that there is the length the depth the height and you know and so on and so forth and i told us by the spirit that there are four components that make up true love that number one is passion remember number two is what commitment number three pleasure number four sacrifice that if at any point in your equation of love these four dimensions are not captured you will shall change yourself love must capture the dimension of passion love must capture the dimension of commitment love must capture the dimension of pleasure and love must capture the dimension of sacrifice i did tell us last week that the highest and the most noble expression of true love is sacrifice all the other components are important but they are not equally important sacrifice rises above them all and it's important then we began to explain what love was according to the word of god number one i taught us that love is a choice never forget that whenever you say you love someone or something you are saying i have me i've made a choice the bible is full of choices and the various consequences that accompany them when you say i love this business i love this person i love this job i love jesus you are saying i have made a choice a choice to be with that person a choice to live with that person i love you means i choose you so next time you are using that word you use it with understanding and i told you that any relationship whether marital relationship love relationship business relationship that attempts to extract the power of choice either through manipulation or whatever is called witchcraft at every point of your relationship the power to choose must remain intact is that true yes we are constrained in the kingdom but not by legalism it is the love of god that constrains us so when we give ourselves uncomfortable boundaries it's not because god took away the power to choose is that true yes the proof of obedience is when you are given an opportunity to disobey until you have an opportunity to disobey your obedience cannot be validated we have all kinds of manipulative relationships business relationships marriages unfortunately love relationships that are a product of force and manipulation at no point in any relationship especially relationship that has to do with you know love relationship couple you know all kinds of dimensions of love relationships you must never use soap on the power to choose are we blessed we did discuss again last week that true love means understanding value remember that when i say i love you it means that i understand your worth and your importance and your usefulness take note of that word that i i understand your usefulness to me to god and to society so if i say i love pastor alpha what i am saying is that i have discerned his importance and his usefulness to god to me and to society [Music] so there cannot be fight under that kind of revelation when a man beats his wife and says she's a stupid woman you are irresponsible you are this what you are simply trying to say is that i do not perceive your usefulness when a man allows his children and his wife to suffer and languish in poverty and anguish what he's saying is i do not consider them to be useful when a man has no time for his family his business his relationship with god when people don't pray i told you that lack of prayer is not just a sign of backsliding is proof of pride is the validation of your arrogance because it's a sign not only that you have declared independence over god is a sign that you have failed to discern his usefulness in your life it's not the issue of becoming a prayer warrior when you know who god is and you know who satan is and you know how life can treat you without him it becomes a matter of life and death to love him and seek him are we together i understand the extent of your usefulness i love my phone that means i am not ashamed to declare that in the absence of my phone in my hand it will affect me now it doesn't mean i cannot live without it but i cannot also deny you see this is a call to intentional vulnerability it's a word that we don't like to use but it is true the moment you love something based on this definition and you discern value you are not afraid to communicate your need come sam so i love sam what that means is that some i cannot pretend that outside of you my life will be normal and i'm not ashamed of it are you seeing that now it is true that no man is indispensable but there are people that when they live your life your life will never be the same for example god for example god for example satan there are entities that when they live your life your life will never be the same [Music] i don't care all these useless children leave me in peace when they go your life will never be the same these irresponsible workers i can walk without you it is true but you will pay the price we live in an arrogant generation that act as if people are not useful for god so loved the world he was not only mindful but he came to say man i'm ready to talk to you man said i would talk at my thumbs he said no problem i'm ready to be that humble god god does not act like man is useless it's only men that act like men are useless god has always carried men along man said will no go god say why what is the issue now say you have not your presence doesn't look you say okay my presence will go with you and i will give you peace now she can do without you but he unashamedly created boundaries to his ability to make sure man must participate for his might to be seen let me tell you this one of the ways of expressing love is to intentionally limit yourself so that the other party can find value are we blessed yes i can sing i can play this keyboard you see i started learning how to play keyboard 1994. i can come here and act as if i don't need this guy [Music] it is it is one of the destroyers of relationships the man says i can cook the woman says i can cook too the man says i can get pregnant the woman says i can get pregnant the man said there's something i can do too your womb is not the only thing that can bring a child now thanks to science the man says i can get money the woman said me too i have business service this inability to limit oh you will be so blessed today the inability we're just doing a recap of last week to limit yourself think of how wonderful god is he gives you the anointing gives you the word then steps back and allows you to be the one to do the speaking can't you push one say are you joking you are smiling when i'm there on the throne where were you when i cried no no no no he's not intimidated by men celebrating you he anoints you he has not yet validated whether you betray him tomorrow yet he anointed you today and said stand for me what if you choose to hate him tomorrow he said no problem i take that risk because i understand your value and so i anoint you this is one of this perfectionist agenda is a failed agenda because god does not wait for men to be perfect sincerity must replace perfection in your standards [Applause] are we together so we discuss that thank you sam thank you so much number three we said true love is honor oh no i totally dislike this honor i don't hate those who communicate it but i hate everything about this honor this honor is not only sin this honor is evil this honor is the deliberate refusal to discern acknowledge and celebrate the uniqueness of a person that's what this honor is an intentional refusal dishonor seeks to trivialize people so when they say jimmy is such an an intelligent person he's such an anointed man you seek to bring a factor to show that he does not want that level of acknowledgement there are people like that this honor can be a habit are you hearing what i'm saying this honor can be a habit let's go and tell our parents thank you for what for what what did they do it's a habit this honor can be as addictive as this this thing this guy gave testimony about trouble trauma dog yes you can be addicted to dishonor because every time you dishonor a man you try to use there are two ways to grow tall climb something or cut the head of everybody above you dishonor seeks to do that so because of your frustration to climb and rise you try to cut down everything so that they will look like you it's a terrible attitude [Music] i watch it all the time i've driven everything and i continue to do it intentionally you never dishonor me and hang around me no matter who you are young or old i honor people but if you dishonor me i draw a line and supervise that that line remains i hate this honor it is devilish i will not dishonor anyone but i will not tolerate this honor not i'm very outspoken about that one this honor is dangerous he said those who honor me i will honor but he that despises me i will likely esteem or not the lord not give to the lord oh no your attitude is important god watches how you do it that's what makes it honorable hallelujah honor is the recognition the acknowledgement the celebrated and even the rewarding of value brothers and sisters our world is full of people who are valuable wives are valuable husbands are valuable ladies are valuable men are valuable there are cultures that train men to dishonor women by default the philosophies of those cultures were designed to ensure that a full grown man cultivates an appetite for intentionally dishonoring a woman and there are many ways to communicate that unfortunately there are also cultures and philosophies that more dangerously programs women to dishonor men we live in a generation right now where anything a man can do a woman can do and so she does not see any basis of honoring the man you are earning fifty thousand i'm earning hundred you bought a car i bought a car you're a doctor i'm a doctor you're a public speaker i'm a public speaker if you drive me out i have property somewhere so the woman that's why successful women hardly enjoy good marriages because there is a side effect until the holy spirit tames a woman to that position where she understands and subscribes to divine order society and sadly relationship experts have contributed in no small way to advancing this demonic doctrine where a woman's loyalty and honor to a man is based on obvious reasons so if the man loses his job the woman believes she has a legitimate right to dishonor him no sir society marks it yes god makes it no it's up to you to choose remember the power to choose is still there so my assignment is to present the word of god and leave you to choose you can say this this this apostle has come again no problem but one thing is that for every choice you make be ready to also prepare for the consequences love is honor never say you love anybody you dishonor no i love children and they fall and you leave them there you don't love children i love jesus no where is your giving i forgot no you don't you don't honor him i love my wife really i love my husband i love my business you almost preserve through honor i said something that maybe let me just say quickly and then we'll go to today's teaching true honor is mutual say it after me true honor is mutual one more time if honor is one-sided it turns the one give because you see honor is a sacrifice honor many times can be ego stinging especially for men it is not in a man's natural disposition to turn and honor his wife for subordinates it's easy to honor someone obviously higher than you but the bible says honor all men you see that so it is not a man's natural disposition to honor so if and when he does it there must be a reciprocation [Music] we honor the lord through our worship he honors us back by confirming our words with signs following it is always mutual a business where only one person is honoring the people the ceo honestly staff and the staff do not see a need to intentionally or not honor must be vocal otherwise it is not honor you don't own honor your heart alone it's not true you must find a way of vocalizing your honor by vocal i don't just mean communicating it in speech alone there must be action there must be motion to back up are we together yes you honor the lord let me see it in your giving let me see it in your loving him let me see it in the sacrifices why do you call me lord and do not do i don't see a corresponding action honor must be mutual if a husband honors the wife a wise wife will find a way of reciprocating the honor immediately as soon as possible not after five years no [Music] visitors come to your house and your wife prepares a wonderful meal and people say ah your wife can cook imagine no love as well that's what god can do that's not all know enough that's pride that's pride yes it is that's the name it's called pride the man must find a way you see that of appreciating the same thing with the woman my god what a beautiful house have you forgotten i learned interior decor no that's not the issue madam you would have been broke if that man did not provide money don't pretend that okay but he brought half of the money it doesn't matter that half played a role a wise woman hides her glory and makes sure that the husband is seen just like the sun and the moon the glory of the sun is reflected in the moon but the glory comes from the sun honor is mutual ladies say it honor is mutual gentlemen say it honor is mutual so if the music director acknowledges the people and said gentlemen you are a brilliant team they should find a way not a pretentious way there's a way somebody talks you know that i don't even like what you are saying you will hardly have fights and quarrel when there is an intentional covenant of communicating honor do you know why honor is important because challenges are inevitable honor is like a cushion that prepares for the days of challenges so that in the midst of the harshness of the challenges you remember don't forget the fact that we are quarreling today remember yesterday i lavishly communicated or not so it will pushing the effect when there is no honor when trouble comes it wounds more than intended because there was a foundation of trouble [Music] is god speaking to us that's why it's difficult to forgive in many relationships family relationship because there has been an accumulation of dishonor the wife to husband or husband to wife you can any living practicing or not there are people in life i'm eternally indebted to they have they have they have bought me over literally through honor there are people who the door favor closed in their life because there was no honor be sensitive to honor learn it you will look like a fool until the blessings start coming in business practice or not in marriage practice on in relationship practice or not don't say i did it once no oh no [Music] let's get to today's teaching thank you jesus is god changing us please be determined to practice this our forces are from that village no we have been called out of every tribe tongue nobody's talking village here nobody is talking ancestral cause i don't care what your father worship god is giving you a chance now to wash yourself with the word and come out of all these demonic excuses that people keep bringing that is shredding lives and families and opportunities into pieces oh no oh no can schedule a season that should not be there honor considerably season that should not be there somebody did not plan to bless you that far but honor forces seem to extend more than intended i've been a victim of it people have honored me in such a way that i i watch myself like i was spellbound doing more than intended because of honor this honor can also shorten the life of favor favor can have an artificial half-life because of this honor i plan to bless you for five months this honor made it reduce to two weeks these are the systems of the kingdom that we must let are we learning the next thing we are going to discuss very interestingly what's the title of tonight's message what is love continued in any relationship especially love relationships there must be clarity and definiteness of motifs roles and expectations in any kind of relationship there must be clarity and definiteness of motifs one two roles three expectations let's discuss this clarity of motifs clarity of roles clarity of expectations fight and quarrel all kinds of untold pain remains a lot of any individual who trivializes clarity comes up [Applause] let's assume sam works for me look up everybody please there is something called an employment letter is that true when you get a serious job they give you an employment letter contained in that letter are certain details one the name of the corporation or whatever job you are doing number two a definition of your task and then whatever level number three the privileges that accompany what you are doing leaves leave grants and all of that is that true number four there are details there to the hr department or whatever it is for further information they call it your employment letter so they give it to you congratulations and they give you a few details that becomes the basis of your remaining and functioning in that company is that true and then furthermore for most corporations there is a season of orientation is that true especially for very specialized jobs where they give you details of what you should do they tell you in that corporation everybody is not the same there is somebody called supervisor there is somebody called director there is somebody called manager you don't behave to all of them the same way clarity of motifs clarity of rules clarity of expectations if your salary sum is 200 000 and i pay you 120 000 you have a basis of complaining you can go to the hr department or the finance department and say sorry based on my job i have an expectation of 200 000 and it looks like i'm being shortchanged and any descent outfit should be able to look into the matter is that true even if they are unable to meet that standard they owe you an apology for violating your expectation is god blessing us thank you so much are we together now this is very important most relationships start naturally which is wonderful [Music] but most relationships don't remain naturally there are hardly any friends aside from maybe your wife or husband that you have to take up time articulate yourself ask out wait for answer most friends most friendships start naturally either because you are workers in the house of god is that true or you are classmates or business colleagues because of the the natural effect most times we think that because it came naturally it must be natural so i want to start a business and i tell some there's this idea and some says wow can i come in now look at this that is a dangerous thing that has happened because when some came in there was not definiteness who is the business for they don't say leslie the most important thing is let's trust god for this thing to work now you didn't expect it to be so successful you thought you may make thirty thousand and in two months you made five million and then you just turned and said sam i just felt like i appreciated your son drops the money and said you're joking appreciation we traveled to abuja together he said i hope you are aware that this is my business and some said that was not there was no clarity is god speaking to us no clarity the same thing a guy just holds a lady and says let's just be close and for nine years they are like that nine solid years [Music] listen listen listen listen calm down no turning faces look at me i'm the one talking [Applause] [Music] for nine years a young man is working for someone he doesn't know whether he's employed or not he doesn't know whether he's entitled to a salary or not he doesn't know whether he's a protege he doesn't know whether he's employed he's there for 12 years they employ people in his presence he's always the one that helps the boss he's been cleaning you for 10 years without clarity there is no progress there is no basis for creating progress [Music] so a man gets into all kinds of friendship and then there are all kinds of parasitic experiences because there was no definiteness of motives listen i am friends to some for instance i want to be a friend to some and then sam is a friend to me it is costly to believe our motives are the same i may come to some because i had i just like the guy and i think that he's able to help me achieve something there's nothing wrong some may come to me because he has struggled and suffer and he's hoping now those various the the the variations in motif will create the variations in commitment are we together if sam's purpose of coming to my life is just that i help him with the house rent and that's it you don't expect sam to be committed when i'm telling him some let me give you my 20 year plan that's not my business of being here i'm here for you to help me with rent after which i don't know you again [Music] is that is that true that's why nobody permit me to to use this expression nobody asked a prostitute what's your background where where's your father from you mean you are this tribe did you ever go to school no the man can get up and walk in the daytime and not even know she's the one jacob leah i mean by morning jacob said ah if it was you so that ex that it can happen [Music] how many relationships go unrewarded because there was no clarity how many of us live unrewarded lives in utter frustration how many businesses are unrewarded how many people have been used their potentials have been used you're a graduate you're a first class person your uncle says just come around let's see what happens five years you are still coming around you are doing the work of a a staff you are doing the work of um whatever you are doing the work of a husband work of a wife work of a doctor he can call you and quarrel you during the staff meeting you are there but there's no salary unrewarded lives because there is no clarity god spelt out what you will get in this kingdom and what you will not get all no man who lives further mother house this for my namesake in this life this is what you will get but let me be honest with you there will be persecution he didn't lie to you he said with persecution we we put elephants when we are writing those scriptures complete it with persecution because your success will be so notably to attract unusual repercussions let's discuss this thank you sir can i talk about this write it down motifs let's take the first one motifs [Music] motifs are very important another word is intention motives your intention for seeking god you've heard me draw me there and coin on yours is an anthem here your intention your motif for wanting a wife your motif for wanting a husband your motive for wanting a job your motive for wanting certain levels of influence if not defined can end you and the other parties involved in utter frustration [Music] i've studied that motifs determine levels of commitment the clearer and more sincere and more long time the motif the greater and the deeper the commitment [Music] there are things in my life that i don't have a long-term affiliation to because i don't intend to stay long around them it shows in my commitment there are things that are a matter of life and death for me it shows in my commitment [Applause] many relationships sadly especially love relationships and even marriages are built on wrong motifs and this is the foundation for frustration there are many kinds of reasons why people relate especially in in the area of love marriage and the rest i think for me one of the one of the the most dangerous and destructive motifs for love is pressure pressure the pressure to exist singleness has made people to make very fatal marital mistakes the pressure to manage loneliness have made people to get into relationships without thinking of the implications [Music] pressure there are people who have gotten into all kinds of things from businesses to individuals to groups to clubs to associations even to churches as a result of pressure i've seen people who come to it to colonia like this and see how wonderful the worship team you know how they are and the wonderful things they are doing and out of pressure not out of revelation i want to be part of this they are carried away by the flamboyancy and forget that for every performance here there is time for rehearsals and it can be very discomforting to rewarding pressure [Music] especially for our dear sisters i love you with all my heart but the truth is that many of our sisters need help the pressure to exit singleness sometimes caused by parents sometimes caused by movies sometimes caused by an awareness of the passage of age and time now they are sincere don't get me wrong but it's still pressure are we together the pressure to exit singleness can be a wrong motif the pressure to make money fast can be a wrong motif and will not allow you to patiently build systems that last pressure [Music] wrong motifs pressure to exit singleness people get into relationships as a way of managing emotional imbalances whether a gentleman or a lady they just feel i'm lonely and i don't like the loneliness and all of a sudden you now bring a lady into your life or bring a gentleman or bring personalities into your life who begin to pay the price for loneliness that the holy spirit and the revelation of scripture is what should bring are we together now it's amazing how people transfer their emotional excesses to partners this happens in marriage this happens in relationships they not aggression they transfer responsibilities that they should have for their lives they hate themselves they feel bad about themselves and there's nobody to blame because they're the only ones there then they now bring a woman into their life and use the template of their negative outlook on their self on the dear lady so the guy tells the lady look why are you not talking to me says please i'm not in the mood a wise man should understand that this is how ladies act she's probably offended with something and needs him to gently just probe to and then the guy just turns and slaps her that slap would have happened since he's he has been angry with himself it's just that there was no schedule to vent it unfortunately the scapegoat now happens to be whether a lady is going out with or a wife and then he acts out on her and uses an obvious reason she shouted at me then you use a hammer to kill a fly because she shouted so you see that the real thing is not about the shout it's about a negative outlook is that true a sister can make a statement like may god prosper us all so you are trying to say i'm not richard i've been watching you no it's an outlook it's a disposition you have sustained for a long time and just because it's amazing it is wrong to transfer your imbalances to another person managers do it to their staff is that true pastors do it to members and there is always a supposed legitimate ground you can use that's why you must be god-fearing it is the fear of the lord that will judge you you'll go back and say kai but truly truly this one i'm at fault our chain is breaking tonight may they so break in jesus name love is not supposed to be or marriage or relationship it's not a way of transferring an assignment that the world should do to a partner to yoke that person with pain now three wrong motifs for relationships and marriage were still on motifs the perception that financial advantages will be derived from that relationship or that marriage now financial advantages should be part of the advantages derived but not the basis [Music] you don't come to somebody's house just to eat but at least a good family should offer you something if not anything water it's amazing and let me say this i know we are humans please don't get me wrong i'm very sympathetic to people's situations there are families who because of the reality of their financial predicaments doesn't matter what factors caused it the truth is that on the strength of certain levels of financial predicament the personalities involved and that includes both ladies and guys mostly ladies but includes gentlemen too can be pushed is that true into relationships and even marriages that should not be in hope that by being connected to that individual you can derive financial advantages as the ultimate basis it's a terrible thing if my basis of relating with them condemn if i'm relating with david because i know that he has some money and i'm hoping that instead of begging all the time why don't i just become his wife [Music] are we together now it's a terrible thing and sometimes let's be very sincere our parents can push us even for men they now come and ask the man you are walking is the woman walk he said no she loves god she said no way so that my own shield she will now come in and block my own shield he's selfish he's selfish listen let me tell you this brothers and sisters i say this from my heart parents are not supposed to wait for children to bless them it's an anomaly and if it does happen if it does children are mandated to honor their parents are we together now is a scriptural obligation but no parent should sit down waiting for their children to succeed they saw their children in school like an investment they saw their children in relationships like an investment in hope that their graduation will or they are getting into whatever relationship will now bring back financial rewards is selfish it is not godly now it is largely a product of pressure but let truth be truth brothers and sisters it is selfish there are many homes today that would have been in peace if selfishness of this sort was avoided [Music] so there are men who are going around looking for ladies who are working working class ladies earning 250 000 who maybe age is not on their side and they are willing to volunteer themselves to exist the ladies out of singleness provided she will pay the rent provided she will do all and so his own contribution is to make her a misses he's selfish there will be trouble in that relationship is god blessing us financial reward is a wrong basis for marriage it's a wrong basis for latching on to people now don't get me wrong i've taught you on favor favor is relational but it must not be the basis i have enjoyed favor knowing people i have been blessed extensively but it cannot be the basis many of you are very sad hearing what you are hearing because for some of you this has been the private is is a is a pillar of your love and marital philosophy it must crumble because god is rebuilding something that will last if you are with me say amen motifs don't be under pressure say it is true age is not on your side but just running into marriage or on whoever comes it doesn't matter once let's let the guy just say i'm a christian no it is selfish because children are going to come from that union don't forget if it's a business relationship you can quit any day but marriage no pay attention let me talk to every gentleman here remember that children will come from the product of your relationship you must not be so self-centered that you ignore certain things because of what you are looking for no you must be very sympathetic there are all kinds of children moving around with all versions of irresponsibility communicated and it was a derivative of selfishness most of us have been uncomfortable with our loved ones we have frowned and complained very vocally about the things they have done god is now giving us a chance to correct it otherwise we are going to do the same thing hallelujah relationship must be based on sincerity sincerity not some self-centered thing this is the reason why let me tell you how to know that a relationship is self-centered the ease with which the individuals live whether it's a love relationship whether it is a business relationship if i can let go a business partner i've known for two years easily it's a sign that there was no genuine commitment are we together i'm not an advocate of divorce but you see sometimes as a man of god part of your responsibility will have to be to manage individuals on these wise and i have seen the pain in couples when they are about party sometimes they have to do because the law has come into it and you have to respect the law the constitution of your territory but you see them live in tears you just know that the differences were truly irreconcilable but still there was that pain but the relationship we have these days it enters with speed and leaves with speed the guy just tells the lady i lost the contract she said which of them now said the big one and then the lady she doesn't leave at once she begins to angry call i'm busy sorry i'm this or the gentleman now comes and then the lady says well there's something i want to tell you i'm so sorry but i just want you to know that we have an idol in our family my my grandfather was actually a priest and there's a covenant that any man that comes around me something happens the brother said you mean it he said no problem and never picks the call again you see that now but the day he was talking to his friends about the ladies i love this issa you should say but now because you are aware of something that and it's not like you are the one who fight the warfare just to stand by why the fight is going on yet you cannot do it and you want to spend your life as you say with the lady no sir let's grow up some of these things we are doing is a lot of childishness this thing is serious business [Music] is god helping us say in the name of jesus [Music] i redefine my motif for wanting friends for marriage and for the pursuit of god there are many christians who seek god for cars and houses you see the truth is that when you seek somebody for an ulterior motive the day you get it your goal has been achieved there is no impetus if i need children desperately and you find out that the system of getting children is a woman how many do you want for the day she gives birth to the fourth child you will subconsciously find out that she's a goal achieved that's the reason why you see many supposed romantic relationships end up in ashes after certain things have happened because the object of it was not genuine love it was impossible certain things so the guy wants to exit singleness and he brings the lady the day he gets married he's shocked that one week later he's admiring his single days why because the goal has been achieved mama's been disturbing me married that's it and watch this so what do we do with ourselves now we're married i asked my mother that forced us to marry motifs the word of god is a dishonor of the thoughts and the intents so i come to god with fasting and prayer lord i want to know you i want your presence and the word of god moves past my words and my singing and enters my heart and sees in that heart that lord i have been despised they've been looking at me as if i would not become anything so lord anoint me and god says you failed the test this is not the key to the anointing but you may be singing and the word of god comes to your heart and discerns that lord i seek to see your kingdom come i seek to see lives change the word returns back to god with a report genuine and the anointing comes upon your life in dimensions and proportions you didn't even pray for this is the mystery behind receiving sometimes more than what you prayed for your motive was also praying while you were praying your motif was praying god gave me money and then your motive was saying god use me to prove to people and god says no i'm hearing two of them your motive is canceling your prayer god bless me lord i look at lives and i see an opportunity to represent christ to them your motive has a voice and heaven can hear it you have captured my heart calms you my heart with your love that's my testimony lord you have captured my heart [Music] my heart with your love sing it one more time lord you i capture my heart [Music] my heart with your love there's a part jesus jesus that's more than enough that's the name that is worth my admiration before i say is jesus jesus jesus [Applause] listen please sit down look at me everybody [Music] it is time for everyone in a relationship or married or ready for a relationship to be sincere with yourself tonight and probe your motive apostle our family have suffered and they drove me they said i'm i'm of a marriageable age the such one bring a man that will help us your motive is sincere and i give you the credit for being sincere but it is wrong it is wrong [Music] that's why god will bring a brother that will be a millennial in five years but because your motive is to get the future now you will turn away your blessing and look for something else and five years later you will say i had a chance i had a chance to build with this brother but because my motive was healed about now today how many people had the privilege to build great ministries with people they didn't have their motives were wrong and today they look at men of god on tv i used to know this man on campus i used to what did you do about it you did not see you didn't discern greatness so you were looking for tomorrow today now that rejected stone has become such a cornerstone that you will have to join the queue today and watch in admiration [Music] be careful when you despise people this is just by the way but be careful brothers and sisters do not despise anybody who is walking with the holy spirit the holy spirit has a track record of producing signs and wonders he said there is this treasure look at people like us look what he's done with our lives don't you ever look at somebody today just because he's wearing a ton show i'm not saying it just for relationship there are many of us we have a mindset of disdain not relationship once you only honor people who seem to have a persona when you see their car and you see finance they are worthy of your respect be careful because that rejected stone that rejected stone brothers and sisters when you see the son of man in power and glory now the brother is fasting the brother is praying the truth is that even if you visit him it's an embarrassing truth but he cannot afford gary and he has been sincere to tell you i'm not a thief god is helping me relationship is a risk whoever can take that risk deserves to sit on the throne don't you ever admire my throne when you did not appreciate abdullah there is a relationship between abdullah and the throne is god speaking to us [Music] if you were not there during my pain don't expect to be invited that's why i love people and i honor them i see young pastors most of them thrown away by supposed fathers thrown away by people and some of them come and say man of god my life is scattered but i love the lord i was wrongly mentored and so my my my life and i tell them don't worry you can't start again because you can't throw the parents you carry i'm not ready for headache do you know in this our world we love results but we hate laboring to make the result happen when you see a young man and a young woman firebrand you just incorporate sonship it's funny what we do come darling this is my daughter calm david this is my son what investment did you make in them they came to your office five years ago you threw them away now you heard that this guy is a voice all around you heard that this lady has a dangerous prophetic grace and you just incorporate people no no sir you have no you are not a stakeholder over any life you did not believe in [Music] are we together i knew you yesterday that's nonsense did you believe when i said god was going to help us did you believe when i said i had the call of god upon my life with a torn trouser sister did you believe in him when the gentleman was fighting an incurable disease that you were aware of and you ran away did you believe [Music] our world is full of regrets because people lack this habit you would have looked at saul and called him a failure until you find out who was writing the epistles all around you would have looked at moses and called him his tamara you would have looked at peter and called him very emotionally boisterous be careful when you conclude on men everybody is a project under construction let god finish help those outside everybody is a project under construction making my making my making money making make let me just add something quickly be careful when you talk about people especially aspects of their lives that are not favorable brothers and sisters jesus had resurrected they were still talking about his death there are people you may see today yes the guy was a smoker when you knew him you've not known him for five years and this brother has received do you know i used to have a classmate years ago that guy i got to hear that he got into all kinds of funny things his father was a pastor and this brother got into i mean this just all this smoking these funny things i wondered where he got that thing from you looked at this guy his eyes were dark his mouth you know cracks all started life i see we never went to school i remember one day seeing the guy and he said he wanted to learn guitar he was crying i told him i said my friend the truth is that you're messing up your life but god can give you a chance and he said everybody has turned him down i said don't worry do you know four years ago i found out he was a pastor in salem chapel yes yes fiery pastor ah when he called me i said ah he was i said you mean it sallam chapel archbishop sam ahmad silent chapel you become a man of god and i said yes i was talking and then we were discussing i was so happy i mean two minutes went to five minutes and he blasted in thoughts i said these guys feeling the holy ghost i mean this is this is not tongues that started today not there is stones this he has graduation has levels his brother was was ratting this thing and i just looked at him i said that's right brothers and sisters imagine the person who advised that nobody should help him that person will bury his head in shame forever most of our parents are old there is no helper because they advise people not to help their helpers they said this boy will be useless forever this lady is a prostitute forever while they were talking the hand of god was following that prophetess while that was happening you are living your life anyhow see do you know something about the call of god the call of god is dangerous it will haunt you until he finds you you do what you are doing the call will remain i tell you this yes so you see somebody in a bear parlor now that's a geo i tell you it takes discernment just i'm not endorsing all these things but while you are concluding that you that's 30 churches you are seeing and the person the day god is ready to stamp his feet you are on your way going from home as drunk as you are fire falls from heaven god will put a burden in the heart of one old intercessor woman who will pray for two years not knowing the name of the person she is praying for that's you there prophet is haunting you the first dream is as you take from stupor you see a crusade you get up and say no me me that i contributed in scattering the chest of one crew said god says keep watching let me tell you one of the signs of what the spirit of god is doing in this season is bringing people who are this rejected stone you see they are rising from families i'm saying this prophetically there are people they've concluded about you they've concluded everything about you but god god out of the ashes am i dying today i see the breaking of a brand new day being reached the name of the law alone is glorified i see the breaking of a brand new day your family may not look like anything but out of the ashes of that time today i see the breaking of a brand new day listen sister if you don't like the brother just go don't tear him down just go brother if you don't like the sister just go don't tear them down because god is in the business of turning people's lives around you will see a brother that graduated 10 years moving like a fugitive in one week three jobs just come have you not seen how history has changed people's lives we must repent from concluding on people not when they are that's why you see let me tell you something this is how i am one hand is the hand of iron another hand is the hand of love this is true fatherhood when you are teaching you teach preventive you challenge people but the other hand must be there are you listen to me when you see me stand on stage and i'm preaching you see the fire and fiery because i'm trying to create a platform for people to walk right but then there is another hand brothers and sisters if all your hands are iron you will not be a good preacher on one hand you must challenge people but another hand he must be ready to wipe the tears of people one of my prayers as a person is to remain a shoulder that any and all kinds of people can come whether you're a drunkard people can criticize that's why you never come and find anybody saying something here and say this lady we know her so what what is your business it is the house of god not your house leave them the brother comes today just leave him focus on what god is doing one day just like someone you see god touching people here you don't know how long god has been following them if god has not given up on people don't be don't give up on people let me tell you society is full of people with all kinds of pain don't come and add to it you see people laugh in touch forget all that laughter there are people some enter prostitution because of pain and frustration others enter it because of the frustration of their fathers some ladies are pursuing men for money not because they are bad is the pressure of the pain so you teach on one side but with another hand you are here to show love [Music] is god teaching us something you have to learn some of us are pastors we are very quick to conclude on people who are very quick to turn i said that lady this brother let me tell you you know it asks the workers there is nobody nobody there are people who have gotten pregnant in this ministry out of wedlock i stood by them suspect me is your cup of tea i love god and i love them too much to allow your legalism stop it we don't stand close to our wounded people in the body of christ who are the first to point to them while the first who say this guy will never rise while the first who said this pastor came down while the first said this this brother cannot keep quiet if the god in heaven says there is hope for a tree then you better support him and say this vote for it [Music] i'm speaking to certain people here there are some ladies who believe they will never get married you ask them why they say apostle if you know what i've done with my life i bring you a word of hope this god you see is a mighty god you are amazing you are amazing you're so amazing you are amazing [Applause] [Music] [Music] please sit down sit down god is ministering to people motifs number two let me hurry up rules there must be clarity of rules clarity of rules [Music] testimony chapter 5 and verse 8 first timothy chapter 5 and verse 8. a man has a role in a relationship a man has a role in marriage there is a divine order a woman has a role he says but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house he had denied the faith and is worse than an infidel whoever that man is whether he's a pastor whether he's an apostle whether he's a prophet whether he's a business ceo there are rules most challenges in relationships most challenges in marriage is because of one or the other party when they refuse to perform the due diligence of their rules i was counseling a pastor this morning before i came into zaria and we got into a very serious discussion and he shared with me a few things that i felt were not supposed to be as fast his family was concerned and he seemed to justify it with a lot of spirituality he hoped i would be impressed at the end of it i told him carry a paper carry by i told him i said go back to your wife and apologize to your wife he said he has a fasting problem i said cancel it go to your wife apologize to your wife it's so strong but i said you all know me if you take my voice to be the voice of god in your life your heavens will remain closed there's no need praying for you go back swallow your pride humble yourself and say wife this is what i've done i've not played my role well and i told him the heavens will be open listen i told you in relationships there is no big manism you must be willing to be vulnerable i'll hear what i'm saying very important there are husbands who have not played their roles well there are wives who have not played their roles well there are pastors and leaders who have not played their roles well there are those in love relationships who have not played their roles well there must be a definition no system works when there is no clarity of rules nobody will come and sit down on the keyboard if it's not in the worship team there are many people who can play keyboard but there is an assigned role and even among all those who are playing keyboards they know those who are on duty is that true there is chaos and disorderliness every time there is vagueness of rules if the wife has money she buys food if the man has money he buys food there is no clarity when i'm not saying there cannot be assistance but let there be clarity who is the authorized personality for performing this if a man can cook and decides to go to the kitchen according to that marriage who is supposed to that kitchen is whose office if because of the nature of the job of the people the man says no i love you so my love constrains me as you get what i'm saying now the payment of school fees is because the man has lost his job or has not gotten a job and the woman has an advantage and she says look my husband i will go out of the way to pay the school fees that is an assistance whose role scripturally provision is under whose office salvation is not under the office of the holy spirit it's under the office of the christ there is no other name given to man by which we must be saved you can't say holy spirit i believe in you and be born again he is part of the godhead but it is not his office when you pray you pray to the father jesus told us answered prayers is in the office of the father even in heaven there are rules are we together now the 20 and four elders have their rules gabriel as an archangel has a rule he doesn't show up and every time he's shown up it was a rule in heaven where there is no devil in heaven there was an exact angel that brought messages our lives are disorderly because our businesses our churches our ministries look at this i always give this example watch this if i throw this on the ground [Music] by mistake whose role is it to come and help and pick and give it to me if there is no if there is no definition some will try to run and come is that true this lady will try to run and come and there will be chaos because all there was no definition of who plays which role is that true there has to be an authorized system if this mic goes off now everybody will run to the technical stand if there is no definition of who does what you see when there are rules reconciliation is easy because it's easy to identify who defaulted but when there are no rules confusion is a sign that a deceiver is present are we together now you have to understand how these systems work thank you guys are we together you must understand it's very important you're a businessman train your staff nobody does just anything no sir [Applause] the wife cannot be the husband in the house doing everything it doesn't matter whether she has more money than the man it's not about money it's a divine order [Music] you don't like what i'm teaching please listen and find true freedom who is responsible for the disciplining and the correcting of the children if the man carries a rug and mobs the house and sweeps the house and does everything if the couples agree that let there be this because of our uniqueness it is love but not that people do you know that most people come into relationships with our ideas of rules the lady has her idea of rules based on what she saw with her mother and her father or her elder sister the man and everybody keeps their own we're talking about expectations shortly and then there is chaos and anarchy she collects 500 000 as a seed and then the man stops giving her money for four months and she says you are joking in my world you are supposed to keep giving me money whether i collect one million because you are the man and the man says in my world whoever has money at the moment pays for the bills both of them are tongue-talking they are spirit-filled but that relationship cannot work are we together there is no definition of rules no relationship can thrive no marriage can thrive even your work with god you know the one that is for god give to caesar what belongs there are some things that are a man's role sisters listen there is an anointing on everything a man does as prescribed by god any man that cannot cater for his family that means in god's system he has created a provision that if any man abides by that provision with time he should sustain the ability to provide for his family is that true there is a role of the woman i don't want to go into all of the details i preach them in other messages but we have gentlemen who are very irresponsible in many relationships and many families a man can cross his leg with three or four children and then they come with the report card daddy uh next week is cool am i walking have you seen me go out to work what with your mother shameless it's supposed to be a taboo and then he meets the dear woman who covers his shame as proof that she submits to him and pays the school fees then the man is happy and goes to sit down with his colleagues playing draft and sitting in front of shops and all of this and they discuss themselves i control my wife i don't let her do any nonsense every money plus is my how about women that can have one million naira and watch their husbands struggle two hundred thousand me i'm not a fool i love him but i'm not that foolish let him do it if i do it will get used to it why sayings councils of ahito fell that spread from family to family from mothers to children from fathers to all kinds of things and people destroy homes with all kinds of mindsets listen a believer is not just one who has given his heart to christ a believer is one was submitted to the word of god as final authority is god speaking to us [Music] i know my role in this ministry i have a role in koinonia the lord has put me by grace and by privilege to help this ministry i know my role and i play it well i can do other things but i choose to limit myself so that other people can find expression the heads of department are here they were constituted if i trust them then i step back and let them walk there is a system of supervision i allow their creativity to find expression so that i can focus in the ministry of the word and prayer there are many churches that will not grow because the man of god wants to do everything you don't trust anybody they finish collecting offering and you just stroll as if you are going to pray i and you just stroll in and say why is that evil look on the ground put it back what is your own job stay away that's how many men are they give their wives money and follow her to the market today i want to see okra can be this price [Music] and they watch and we we make a fool of ourselves understand your role if the person fails there is a third party in that relationship and god is more than just [Music] as carnal as we are god gives you the anointing and steps back i can misuse the anointing he will call me to order but he can trust me with the anointing if god can trust me with the anointing who are you not to trust another person there must be clarity of rules even in a relationship there must be clarity of rules define it who does what you are in a relationship come darling and the guy doesn't pray he doesn't care when it's time to pray please lead us you know you are the one who is a woman of god that's a foolish man because according to the principle of priesthood you can start canal but you shouldn't remain like that you should so content for growth that you should catch up fast you know us well we just love god generally you are the ones who are really into this god thing just pray for us it's a thing a man should be ashamed of i don't condemn you for being where you are but you have to sit up are we together the order of priesthood in the home is first man god watched man fall when he came he didn't go to eve he said that's not my organogram adam come come come adam gave him access to talk to if then he went to eve even god could not talk to eve directly he had to come to adam so when satan starts talking to your wife in your home something about your priesthood is missing why will a strange woman enter your house and start manipulating your wife where did you keep your discernment where were the dreams no prophecy no dream no feeling anything come on now is god speaking to us there must be clarity of rules in this ministry i know my role i can't allow anybody's prayer life as much as i know to be greater than my prayer life in this ministry i've seen this what else am i doing it's not just holding the mic [Music] jio and and and all these funny things it's not just about water and all of this there is a spiritual when things go wrong in people's lives in the ministry ask those who know me i go back with pains and i said god what happened that you didn't show me i remember one of our heads of department that died i don't know how many years ago that's the protocol immediately they told me that thing when i finished i went on a retreat immediately for three days nobody saw me i was asking god questions what happened to my eyes what happened to my ears that is a great father that you enter your home and see your children crying i say well in nigeria i'm not worried no you're an irresponsible man a good man will stand there in the presence of the children and with tears coming he will go unlock himself and say that's it which who in my circle is financially free i'm going to break my pride and go back i can't watch this it's amazing how children go to fathers daddy i want school fees i don't have what should i do that's irresponsible is the same thing like drinking blood and eating flesh because you are destroying someone's destiny please don't get married when you are not ready to play your role being a man is not about having a masculine figure it's not six-pack it's responsibility [Music] it's responsibility it's responsibility are we together that's why we finish koinonia i stand every friday for at least five hours when i stand here around 7 7 30 i don't leave this place sometimes till 12 or 1 in the night responsibility i returned by 40 from a trip i've been away i've not even eaten anything truthfully speaking i'm here standing by 5 30 we're off again to lagos it's responsibility it's responsibility i owe a responsibility to teach you the truth under god you have honored me it will be wicked immediately i arrived i carried my laptop and my notebook first just to dust on the topics abba provider protector provider don't bring any woman into your life that you don't have it starts from relationship this irresponsibility has traces you can see it as a man don't keep quiet in a relationship every time there is a cost dimension even if you don't provide it be sympathetic to it are we together you want to pay school fees and your wife pays don't say oh well thank you no my wife thank you so much you have helped me do this i'm proud of you i truly appreciate me tell my wife there's no way i won't do anything then you continue how many women leave their roles to house helps who win the heart of their husband and they keep binding and casting because they are out gossiping with people who talking about people um um what's your name please make sure you know my husband doesn't like too much of it if you are busy it's justifiable but most of them is out of laziness and then the lady is preparing and the man is watching a virtuous lady she comes to serve him and the devil starts suggesting saying what was really your plan for a wife [Music] and at the end of it when those women come for counselling they won't tell you the whole story they will cut the path that makes the man evil [Music] are we together you must be willing to play your role you must be i can't come to a house and see children running up and down mucous on their nose they are close with oil and the wife is just crossing her legs no man you are failing in your room just because the man helped to dress the children is not his role the design of a woman is a reflection of her role [Music] visitors cannot come and sit down and then the wife is just sitting and then the man goes to the fridge he's trying to quickly prepare something i said by my husband that's how he is no that's not how he is that's how you made him god made him to occupy a position of honor is god speaking to us yes i must pray for you it's a responsibility i must attend to you as much as possible it's a responsibility i must sow into your life not waiting for you to carry money and come and give me no sir [Music] brother is that what you are doing in your relationship [Music] is that what you are doing in your marriage sister is that what you are doing let's correct these things tonight if you are not yet in a relationship thank god if you are not yet married thank god because now you are learning how many women are carrying the you see a child sick children see three children see and you see the woman holding a hot umbrella in the afternoon back in one and holding two with the umbrella just singing praise and worship and going and then the husband is somewhere and you will find that man in a perpetual joint somewhere you see that or donating money to one man of god it doesn't matter even if it's me this is sin you take care of your family first don't carry any money and come and give any man of god and leave your family dying god does not act like that are we together and you are wondering where is this woman's husband child is coughing the other one is pudging the baby is crying you see her tapping the baby standing in a hot sun and sometimes the husband can pass with a car and just wait later later later [Music] no sir no sir no sir your father advised you that that's what you did to your mother to respect him but that's not the word of god we've been called out of every tribe and every tongue and every nation is god speaking to us don't expect to change if you are not taught it is the entrance of the word that gives light otherwise your default mindset even if you hated it is what you will see playing out i watched the way brothers treat ladies and i know they're on their way to being bad gentlemen now i know that ladies have their issues here and there but let me tell you it is still not enough reason please marriage is not by force it's not the condition for heaven if you must marry be willing to play a role it is true that the woman should respect you regardless of results but result is like a lubricant to honor and submission it is difficult for a woman to struggle to submit to a man who has proven himself to be worthy of honor so let them that rule well be counted for double honor [Music] is god speaking to us i'm going to stop here in that area we're still going to talk on expectations very quickly but listen if you are in a relationship or you are looking at a lady prayer fully or you are looking at a guy prayerfully it doesn't matter what category or you are married go back home tonight and ask yourself if you want to get into business partnerships what is your role do you understand i'm coming into this business as what please if you are a ceo here or you have a business you are leading a business go back and find out all the people involved in that business what is their role let there be clarity if there is one boy running around your house one girl running around your house let them know are they proteges or are they sons and daughters maybe spiritually or by reason of commitment don't leave vagueness in your house who enters your room and who doesn't who should enter your bedroom and who shouldn't who should open your wardrobe and who shouldn't if you don't define it one day something will happen that will surprise you [Music] you see homes there are times a man and his wife can sit down they are discussing very private issues and the next thing their mother or mother-in-law somebody just bangs the door and then ah you are discussing but sorry there's no no it's the fault of the man create a system of order anybody that comes under my roof should know their boundaries and their limitations are we together yes nobody should come to your house with your wife there and just enter your kitchen and start cooking no sir if your wife authorizes her or on grounds of friendship that's fine people cannot veto into your life like that a man who does not have control over his spirit is like a city without walls put walls there are walls in heaven there's no enemy there yet there are gates to regulate and bring order 12 gates hallelujah i live a peaceful life as a man of god because there is clarity i don't have to come here in the daytime to check how they put the chest no the people have been trained to keep their rules here and there people forget their rules or don't meet up with expectations then you can lovingly call people to order you don't blame everybody for one person's mistake when there is clarity of rules if there is no food in the house you know who to blame transfer of aggression is proof of lack of wisdom there has to be somebody if it is systemic you can pinpoint who should do this you don't blame your wife for something children should do children are running around here and you finish eating and your wife does not carry the plate and you have a young lady 13 years she cat walks and pass you there you call her back and say no pick that plate you're going to become someone's wife yeah daddy i don't like this this is the kind of thing that's how i watch it now if you tell i keep quiet keep quiet fast this is my house i love you i've been responsible i don't mean to abuse you but it is not under my watch if i train you and you get to the age of discretion and you mismanage your life i can stand before god and men and say that is my daughter i train her her life is not a reflection of my convictions you remain my daughter but you you reap the consequence of your actions but not when you are under your watch don't let anything under your watch in business and in life go out without definition expectations number three let's talk about this and we pray is god helping us tonight [Music] acts chapter three and verse 3 to 5 quickly every relationship has expectations marriage business career church mentor mentee father son daughter husband wife whatever kind every relationship has expectations acts chapter 3 please the bible speaking about the man had get beautiful he kept seeing peter and john the bible says that he saw them every time and the one time when he saw them they looked like they were rich they created an impression that cultivated expectation and then the bible says who see him peter and john were they the only two that went to the temple no there was something he had been observing in them that was his place of state and the bible says he asked them for arms verse 4. and peter fastening his eyes implicated himself by saying look on us if you kept quiet that man will say talk you are passing the rest he kept begging on the rest just did like this but peter stopped are we together now yes many people don't want children but you stopped you said i want you are implicating yourself many people don't want marriage you stopped you looked at the lady and said i want to spend my life with you every time you make a proposal and a commitment you are creating expectation it says look on us verse 5 the last verse now he says and he gave heed to them expect him to do what please talk to me expecting to [Music] your wife expecting something from you your husband expecting from you god expecting from you you expecting from god everything relational has expectations frustration in relationships are products of disappointed expectations now many people are not vocal enough about their expectations for most couples it is hidden they are not vocal to state it out which in my opinion is very dangerous [Music] there must be clarity of not only motifs rules but expectations expectations of behavior hello look up please expectations of contribution if you get a job with a bank they tell you what to expect and then they tell you what they are expecting from you is that true yes you can see the way the worship team is dressed wonderful lovely people by subscribing to this department there are expectations you have expectations but then there are also expectations there are demands and it must be clear imagine if they didn't plan what to wear there are times that i believe you can freestyle everybody just wears whatever at that time you don't blame anybody for wearing what we can't all agree to wear suit and then you just come in with your jeans and say look there's liberty in the house of god no there's expectations there are there are times in the bank where they say today we are wearing the vests if you are in that bank and you are walking you it's not whether you like it or not is the sacrifice for relationships please i want you to note this all relationships should have clearly defined expectations [Applause] especially love relationships [Music] expectations of behavior and expectations of contribution what do i expect you to bring to the table as my wife what do i expect you to bring to the table as my husband i just enter the relationship with you congratulations what do i expect you to bring what is the expectation of behavior from me to you what is expectation of behavior from you to me listen don't say it does not matter there is expectation of behavior when a woman gets married her husband expects certain behaviors the man too should there is a way you must behave there is a way you talk there is a way you reason when god makes you a leader and anoints you there is expectation expectation when trouble happens in let's say a company you see maybe a staff and a customer are fighting they are all fighting when a manager or a director comes up he doesn't act like the person who just got a job don't insult me or just because we live on the same street i will remove this suit and beat the living dead out of you and while he's talking a director comes out his attention is called he has been trained to create an expected behavior that reflects the values of the bank and he comes and says okay calm down what's wrong and he said your staff every time i talk to him he counts money and this you require all cheats in this bank says all right we apologize and he's painting the staff the staff is saying this guy he says no he's all right just go up and wait for me he doesn't rebuke and then he tells the man i'm sorry for doing this we're giving you two thousand error extra and guys they tell that you're foolish man that i'm a valid staff and works out you would think the director was cheap for doing that it's called expected behavior he now goes out and shuts the door and then blasts the hell out of his staff and then when he finishes they come out as if they were drinking tea together because there is expected behavior does your home have an expected behavior that's why men don't know who to beat in public or secret no expectation they just beat the wife quarrel the wife there are things your wife does not expect from you there are things she expects from you if you do not fulfill the expectations the parties will be frustrated are we together a woman cannot marry and still want a single life again something you you must have given up something a man cannot marry and still want a single life again you are you used to stay out late 10 30 in the night for no reason now you are married and you say please that's how my life is there is expectation of behavior hallelujah you won't come and see me stand here i'm not saying it's bad you won't come and see me stand here flying chains and wearing all kinds of rings in my hand they may not be wrong in themselves but leadership demands expectation of behavior are we together i can come and stand here with truth not iron as simple as that if i were not in my position it would not matter but the position demands an expectation [Music] is god speaking to us [Music] [Applause] every business every career and every love relationship must have a system of providing clarity of expectation now let me say something very quickly look up please i wrote something down here never try this is particularly for love relationships never try to change a spouse's personality there is a difference between personality and mindsets the only thing that can change is mindset personalities do not change easily most marriages and relationships are a cycle of frustration because the man brings any lady and wants to force and mold that lady to reflect his idea and there are certain things that are ideologically natural but there are certain things that are personalities you will be blessed listen carefully a personality write this down the word personality means the psychological classification of different types of individuals please learn this personality talks of the psychological classification of different kinds of people personality talks about an individual's makeup an individual's inherent identity and individuals make up an individual's inherent identity not mindset personalities not mindset [Music] [Applause] [Music] an example of personality types now we're not doing all the standard psychometry and all of this but i just want to give you an idea look up please because this is an area of great healing for many of us listen we have people who are quiet and reserved it's a personality we have people who are logical and inquisitive it's a personality we have people who are vocal and idealistic they are very outspoken we have people who are adaptable and agreeable they can marry anybody doesn't matter if they marry pastors they can be a pastor's wife they marry a farmer they can be a farmer's wife they can adjust and adopt there are men like that you make them ceos they will do well you make them you tell them to learn guitar they can they are adaptable and agreeable there are people who that see let me tell you this most relationship experts most of them were fortunate to come into lives with people whose personalities resonate and then they take for granted the ease with which their marriage is working and keep writing all kinds of books and making it look like if you are not getting that ease something is wrong it's a lie i don't have experience to speak over marriage what i can tell you from the word of god and from people whose lives have been models that any marriage is hard work is that true so a way with there are people who are fortunate they were able to resonate with individuals whose personalities are standing so whether or not with minimal effort there is compatibility so they they carry their relationship and their marriage as a template and write books about it and mentor people marriage is like the signs on the palm of someone's hand you can only be guided but you are the one who walks your marriage out with fear and trembling is god speaking to us there are people who are people-oriented and fun-loving you will mistaken them for beingnesses fair but they are not even when they say someone has died they can say and in two minutes they're laughing at something else and you're saying i expect you to be crying i used to have a friend like that very interesting friend even when he was sick he said he had malaria and he was still laughing on a call i said this this guy will you ever frown now you will see those people and be deceived that they are always joyful no don't let their personality betray you you will be with them for 10 years laughing every day and they'll tell you i've never been happy in this marriage from day one you say i can't believe this you look at the portrait in the palo that's you laughing he said no it's my personality i've never really been happy there are people who are strong-willed and authoritative men and women are like strong-willed you have to give them a thousand reasons to bend to the slightest adjustment ah may that be not be your wife or may that not be your wife [Music] strong-willed and authoritative there are people who are argumentative and controversial you ask them what is one plus one say it depends on the base place what a simple answer that you can give they like it they like being controversial are we together yes [Music] you ask a very simple question they escalate little things i saw the way you smiled at that guy and you know in psychology there's something called eye contact they create stories out of nothing i'm sorry i did this to you why did you leave it till now i mean i don't know there has to be a logic in this i mean you had a chance to say it in the morning in the afternoon you are saying it by night it's a sign of argumentative now they may not be bad it's a personality most people are not guided is when they get married they find out through experience that this is who and what have married are we together what is a mindset a mindset is a viewpoint a perspective an established set of attitude it's usually a product of orientation i wrote here that is created by information the difference between a personality and a mindset is that a personality is inherent it doesn't mean it cannot be adjusted it can be adjusted by the power of the holy spirit but it is inherent a mindset is a philosophy you got as a result of an orientation that an information gave you now let me tell you this no matter how um please come come here let's assume that doctor is very quiet are we together let's assume that he's a very quiet person let's assume that david is very very um very vocal now two of them are fully the holy spirit and all of that but the truth of the matter is that the wife comes and says me i like quiet man then you came to this guy you are going to frustrate him by saying don't talk the personality will keep betraying you again and again okay keep quiet honey keep squad after five sorry that thing i wanted to keep quiet now and then at the end you are frustrating me this what happens in many marriages the couples are on a mission to change supposedly you can't change any man you can only change mindsets and trust the holy spirit create a system of understanding to manage personalities otherwise don't go there fortunate for you if you can discern before but if you didn't then you must create a system of accommodation there are women who are mouthy it's not it's not um it can be used wrongly but it doesn't mean they are bad they are just very vocal they say a woman talks 4 000 words in a day while a man talks 1005. so if a noisy woman talks 500 in a day that balance is coming one day prepare for it because it should be four thousand it's like a check that will soon catch [Music] are we together you already know that your wife for instance is not somebody who is very quiet and you have a business meeting find a diplomatic way of making her excuse the meeting because shall personality is going to disrupt the meeting and you will hate your wife the bible says dwell with them according to same thing in relationships there are men who like fighting for rights a black man throws you and then the person you are going out to just comes i say are you joking i have my friend who is a lawyer let's carry you guys say no no no no no let me know with me i can't i can't except i'm not the one in this relationship you think it's a joke three days later you see one lawyer guy with a paper looking for a bike man say you kill my woman you are somebody who is generally agreeable i don't like trouble so don't tell the man the story of the black man are you seeing that now since you forgive let it be there are all these advocates fighters of justice nelson mandela kind of personality if listen listen ladies we're going to pray [Music] are we together when you discern the personality then you create a system around it you can change mindsets not personalities don't go there if the personality by default does not resonate with what you can take unfortunately most people are not mentored to this degree so they make a lot of costly mistakes you're a quiet person and then a woman is noisy and you see her and say is it that you you are not hearing what apostle is saying and she says i'm sorry sir and while you are trying to talk say sorry let me this is this what i'm saying my brother it is not a cause from anybody's father's house this is personality land land [Music] don't get angry at and then let me tell you what the devil would do the devil will position a house health or someone that is quiet just like you want and he said can't look at look at this i've been talking to this lady for 10 minutes she's been silent this is exactly what i'm talking about and you make the wife hit the house help and say you are leaving next month in this house whereas that's the only source of helping her education the man did not understand and the man has dishonored his wife before the house help you are comparing i'm not saying the house help is bad but you are the wife but you are now comparing the wife with the house help the small girl will go back and say wow so this is how this man esteems me i can't believe it the next time she's passing she will make up you'll be shocked yes sir yes sir she will make up not just because of going out like that she said i used to think this is just i mean i can't believe that this man has this level of discernment over me and trouble comes to your world [Applause] [Music] don't try to change anybody no man can change anybody's personality the more the word of god begins to act on you and cultivate the fruit of the spirit you see that the fruit of the spirit will begin to adjust your personality but it will not take everything away a talkative will be a talkative a quiet person will be a quiet person there are many quiet people we think is the holy ghost that made them so no it's their personality so they make you feel guilty for talking so much they make you look like if you are really a spiritual person you should be quiet it's a lie it's a lie it's a big lie there are others who are vocal are multi and jumping around maybe preach yourself you can jump around and make it look like if you are not agile like that that's not the holy spirit let's separate between the one our personality brought in and the one that came just because you are anointed elijah was a temperance person short tempered he would have easily walked on it but he didn't choose to walk on it god still used him so while you are mentoring you are looking at his life for mentorship make sure you take away the personality so that you don't take the personality as part of what the holy spirit produces in men there are people who are not honest i can be angry with david down now and insult him and say he's the zeal of the lord no sir it's not the seal of the lord i have a personality problem i must be unashamed to make this know that this is not this is not the holy spirit it is true that the holy spirit convicted me but this that insult part was not the holy spirit [Music] are we together you can change mindsets but you almost may not be able to change personalities now don't try to change your spouse's personality to reflect yours create a system of understanding create a system of understanding i have taught again and many of us know from psychology that women respond to life emotionally and men respond to life logically we know that you cannot make a woman become another man because of this let me tell you you've heard me say it i can miss david dam for one year and the day we see this is what happens david hi and we're like ah i missed you i so missed you and it's over that's it all right we'll see this is why you're missing that's a man for you i just hold him and remember that there's something i need to go and do quickly a lady will leave her friend in the morning and just because the friend didn't call by two by four she said abba and notice you are getting heartless these days just because of six hours gap not to talk of a man that now traveled for three days and came back and you see her being childish and playing all around here he said what did i marry i'm a serious man everybody knows i'm visionary what is this jumping up and down for that's a lady for you i tell you the ladies are so blessed that i understand this and i'm letting you know yes they are are we together now listen the lady can come and meet the brother who are rounding up sir the landlord came and then the man keeps quiet you hear what i said then the man keeps quiet because you see when men are under pressure silence is the way they speak silence does not mean they are ignoring you silence means they are processing if you don't understand this about men you will destroy yourself and say what is all this thing with this man what is all this thing you know blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah when women are under pressure they can't talk you've heard me say it again and again the woman will talk about the issue of oil on a chair that it is not oil anything she has been finding a way of engaging her husband and the guy has been she's angry about plenty things and it so happened that he now put palm oil on the chair i'm the one who walks in this house i walk every day blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and the man says all for oil you are smart enough to know that this is not oil the message is very clear i am emotionally bankrupt find a way of fulfilling it fulfill that emotion and see how oil matter fades like a leaf how about the oil to the withdrawal which oil [Music] are we together so we have a visionary man and a wonderful jovial playful woman in the same house and they just can't connect the man is sitting bible study or business meeting there's a contract coming 100 million honey do you know what is happening 100 million is coming as i say i i'm telling you if you see the cold drink i'm making for you and i say i'm talking to you about something we will eat and you are and you know what the woman says she looks at him and says i've been married to you for 10 years you have never appreciated me says me i've never appreciated you what of the bad days what of dubai what she's trying to say is this is what i feel at this moment and so i just have a way of saying it and i thought if i say from the beginning it will bring the kind of impact that will force a response period but the man who take it literally with his philosophical first class brain and now once and my wife call his friend i said my friend he said you too that's exactly what is happening [Applause] we're going to pray there are times ladies talk to you the goal is not to answer they are not talking to you they are relieving themselves be wise and listen doesn't matter what they say they will ramble from pillar to post just just be agreeable if you want peace to ring be agreeable at the end of it when they start crying you can come in because you know that that's it they've got it to the breaking point okay call me but you stop her in the middle of that conversation my brother you will hear it prophetess preacher you would because that is like a raider looking for putu and just stand behind quietly [Music] it's not weakness it's wisdom true wisdom is a house built 24 verse 3 of of proverbs through wisdom amplified says a home a house whatever it is is built and then let me round up you talk to the man about the rent and he keeps quiet and he said i've noticed every time i talk to my husband he just ignores me what is this i'm talking to him because i'm under pressure you spoke to him on sunday on wednesday you just see him sit down say um the house issue you spoke about i'm not interested you didn't speak that time no that's how men talk while he's sitting down he has planned three or four people that he can call he has made some calls without you knowing you want to hear him making the call the pride of a man does not allow that he wants to show you he's responsible say call in my presence let me know you are doing something no a man doesn't act like that he will sit down because you are there he will use an email instead he will not use a call so you would think he's not doing anything hey jimmy please help me can i get an error from you jimmy replies yes thank you the a lot has entered the account you didn't know just because he's sitting down quietly husband i'm i'm telling you i've been keeping quiet i'm not like just because i'm not like other women and the man just keeps quiet and one day you go to test his blood pressure and you see that is everything over everything caused by you and you come back and one day the man just looks at you and in one word he says i'm going to divorce you i can't take it and say what have i done and the man who said i've been in this pain for 16 years you don't understand me but this is how you say it you don't respect me you don't understand how we think [Music] this is how men are when they met jesus we caught a woman in adulthood jesus just kept quiet that's a man for you [Music] are you not going to talk when he was before pontius pilate in pain when men are in pain they keep quiet when women are in pain they talk till they cry men are not like that even when they cry it's just the tear that speaks my wife i am in pain being a man is not one day and the woman is talking and i say since you don't do anything i will go and call this and he said don't do that don't do that i am talking now just go one sleep then in the middle of the night the man wakes up and goes to sit down outside did i offend you no you didn't offend him he's processing learn how men think he will sit down under a train say lord jesus you gave me a wife and children shame has come upon me like a shadow will you not help me i must come and sit with you bible say what god has joined leave the man he's talking to god he's talking to god what is all what god has joined again he's talking to god [Music] [Applause] [Music] organized how can that go i want you to hold the hand of someone by your left right wherever you are [Music] let me tell you this i know you laughed over everything that i was teaching but there might be people following online who are saying apostle you just read my marriage you just read my relationship like a script are you sure somebody did not tell you about me this pain society is full of pain ratio of divorce one is to true there's got to be something wrong the inability to understand the systems of god by the spirit of wisdom is what has brought this pain believers cannot enter decent relationships that they can be proud of that will lead to marriage christian marriages now break and some don't divorce but the truth is they are divorced the truth is they are divorced intimacy zero communication zero partnership zero support of purpose zero that's why people get married and run back to their ex these extras because they compare we celebrated valentine there are people here who just entered relationships others have been in it for a while others are married others are planning to get married others are veterans in this it doesn't matter where you are holding someone's hand because christian relationships are in trouble this thing there is a siege from darkness to attack marriages there is a siege from darkness to attack relationships there are many wonderful ladies that god wants them to settle there are many wonderful brothers but there is an understanding from the pit of hell and this discussion is an attempt by the spirit how many people have been stigmatized in the house of god because of their weaknesses and limitations how many women right now live unfulfilled lives in marriages listen by the privilege of the grace god has given me i can't sell people i can't sell people old enough to be my parents i can't sell couples i can't sell people when they are getting married and sometimes i have to rest my head and say my god the person you are holding his hands right now may be in pains that you may never imagine we come from families i know that we all dress well tonight but in one minute i'd like you to whisper it genuine prayer over the person you are holding and say lord let the grace let there be healing let there be healing [Music] healing there are women who if they have their way they will say i made a mistake in marriage lord healing there are men who are looking to say if only someone advised me i would not marry this woman i can't believe i'm going to live with her for the next 40 years there are relationships right now a man entering five relationships thinking every lady is bad god is showing you that the problem might be you or a lady having a problem with every guy [Music] there are good relationships about to miss themselves because they do not understand the systems of god god has revealed a sister to you but just because you do not understand this you are about to lose a godly lady you are about to lose a godly brother because you have not been taught the way systems work [Music] please pray pray this is a serious business you grew up seeing your father humiliate your mother just because she was patient for 30 years 40 years does not mean that's how it should be you agree of seeing your mother pay the bills that's not the way it should be [Music] keep praying make [Music] [Applause] make you i'd like you to pray for your family if you are married pray please let me encourage you except your wife is sitting far if you are married hold the hands and pray for your family the devil is out to destroy he's punishing the image of the church through their family lives there are men that are irresponsible we will square up there are women that are not respecting men we have been trained to be celebrated all over and we bring our husband as a fan we think he's part of the fans that admire our beauty you enter a relationship and still want the man to join you among the men liking you is a joke when the man talks he said don't treat me like this there are 10 other guys who love me who taught you that when you sign up for a relationship it's a declaration of vulnerability you are ready to soil your hands to make it work beautiful girl handsome guy i'm a celebrity ladies like me all that is nonsense and there are 10 guys calling me every day that is nonsense a relationship is a call for surrender of everything some of our fathers right now are almost giving our mother's heart attack as i'm talking some of you know it's true if your mothers were to hear me preach they would say sir this is what i wanted to tell my daughter before she goes to marriage the fact that many marriages are not divorced does not mean they are enjoying the high rate of unfaithfulness can be traceable to the frustrations that people face please make contact with someone and let's cry for our families cry there is hope for a tree cry for your relationship lord forgive me where i've missed it as a result of ignorance i always thought the problem was the brother i thought the problem was my husband i didn't know love is a choice i didn't know it's a declaration of value i have devalued my husband before men i have devalued the gentleman you have brought to my life i've devalued this lady i've made everybody disrespect my wife please respect this lady pray i've allowed my wife to foot the bill and play my role i've allowed my husband to be playing the role of a wife and i've thought that it's a sign that i'm an expensive lady not knowing that i'm destroying my home i have gossiped about everyone and everything about my home about my husband i've stripped the dignity in my relationship i ask for mercy lift your voice and pray lord help my father lord help my mother let him understand this let my father be able to enjoy a good wife let my mother be able to enjoy a good husband call on your prayer our time is gone but let's pray [Music] shaka barakatuh [Music] two more prayer points very quickly i want everyone to pray lord grace to understand and play my role unashamedly in my relationship lift your voice and pray whether you're in a relationship or not that's not the issue grace to be a provider indeed grace to protect the fragile personality of the dear woman you have brought to my life pray grace to honor my mouth grace grace to honor the father of my children not once not twice grace to be focal about honor [Music] [Music] i will never allow my wife to go out looking for money while i'm sitting down there doing nothing i will never never allow my wife to replace me as provider if she is blessed and she contributes glory be to god i will never allow my husband be the one doing what i can do i break my pride i humble myself pray i break my pride i keep my ego aside hallelujah hallelujah [Music] you are in a relationship here and you have taken for granted any man's daughter you owe an apology you are in a relationship here and you've made nonsense of the man god has brought to your life because of all these funny men that come around like sheeps they don't know you they have not lived with you so their verdict based on the flashy you they see is that you are award-winning but the person who knows you has hate with you has cried with you the same way the guys the lady doesn't know you she's not staying with you in the room so it's easy for her to see the guy who is a millionaire she's not seeing you under pressure but the person that has seen everything about you and yet loves you you can kick her like a piece of rag let's be careful grace the last prayer part i want us to challenge the power some of us come from families let's be honest tonight some of us come from families where there are strong altars we are not bad but the authors in our families have wrecked every marriage you know of including a pastor we are going to pray let's take one minute and wait war in the spirit don't keep quiet lift your voice and pray you have noticed that any man that comes into your life everything about him is destroyed is not supposed to be very challenging discussions tonight lord let this world not just come and be received without bringing transformation lord i know that with this word tonight you have answered many questions you have brought direction for others you have given a green light for others you have given a red light for others you have given a basis for discussion for others you have given prayer points lord i pray that you help us all in the name of jesus we want to produce award-winning relationships in koinonia we want to produce award-winning homes lord i pray for my fellow brothers help them to be established i pray for our dear sisters in the name of jesus may they become virtuous women whose price is above rubies every cultural barrier we've held onto that is responsible for destroying our relationships and our personhood i challenge it in the name of jesus i declare freedom for you i declare liberty any relationship that does not reflect this that we have taught i supply grace for you to get out of it in the name of jesus and any relationship that is reflective of this that i've spoken about no matter what challenges are there supply grace for you to stay unfinished through in the name of jesus christ i bless every home represented for all those following online several parts of this nation and around the world i bless you and i bless your home in the name of jesus two things very quickly tonight i want us to make an altar call but we're going to make two altar calls quickly the first altar call is for those who are coming to hand their lives over to jesus the second altar call please keep standing you'll sit down shortly i know you've been standing the second altar call is for those who are rededicating their lives listen and those who are standing in to say lord i'm standing not everybody please i'm standing in on behalf of my family there are marriages have not worked at all in my family but i want to be a pioneer i want to bring forth something that reflects you those three categories of people wherever you are make your way to the front quickly please quickly quickly we have one minute clap for them please everyone god bless you quickly god bless you nothing to be ashamed about god bless you quickly everyone [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] keep clapping god bless you keep coming don't be ashamed some of you are standing on behalf of your family you are getting born again come come join them quickly but there are people who are saying apostle i have not seen a single marriage in my lineage that has worked ends up in divorce ends up in all kinds of devilish things lord have mercy make your way to the front you are not coming out as a sign of weakness some of you are not even representing yourself let me tell you the truth if you are not prayed for you will see the same result we produce lord i don't know why every man that comes into my life i destroy them i don't know why every woman that comes into my life i destroy them same thing with my elder brother same thing with my elder sister in the glory and the power [Music] i see miracles signs for wonders now all those who are coming out for salvation prayer you pray this after me say lord jesus i love you and i believe in you that you are the son of god i ask you to come into my heart be my lord and savior from today i hand my life over to you in the name of jesus i declare that i'm born again eternal life is my spirit in jesus name now all of you who are standing to pray for families i'm going to lead you through a simple prayer just one minute and you'll be surprised what happens to you please after me passionately those of you standing and trusting god to end certain things there has to be somebody to end it say in jesus name say convincingly in jesus name lord i declare that i have been called out of every tribe out of every tongue out of every covenant of witchcraft that is destroying homes and relationships in my family i stand here tonight [Music] and i make a new covenant on behalf of myself and my loved ones and i declare that in the name of jesus marriages begin to walk i declare that marriages begin to work in the name of jesus say i declare that marriages begin to walk satan powers holding my family maritally i declare let me go now let my marriage go now let my relationship go now now i decree and declare to every power and every force tagging anyone's family the bible says declare ye that he might be justified i command right now in the name of jesus every force that is responsible for delayed marriages divorce childlessness buriness women serving men men serving younger ones serving elder ones i cut that power now i crossed that spirit now a family where all the men died and leave the women to struggle a family where the women died a family where children feed their parents a family where poverty is the order of the day i cross it in the name of jesus [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] listen i decree and declare over your life i don't care how long it is i stand tonight with the rod of a higher priesthood and i declare in the name of jesus i stand under the grace that god has given me that if there is any man here any woman any family that the devil has tied your marital destiny i release you now go free i release you now go free that spirit that makes the man for you not to see you they pass you every day but they cannot see you i curse that spirit right now in jesus name [Applause] the spirit that kills children in every marriage you see all people in the family all the young people get killed i arrest that spirit now in jesus name the spirit that makes every young man to be irresponsible only the women become responsible the young men are alive but they never do anything useful graduates but they live from hand to mouth i caused that spirit in the mighty name of jesus christ please just be patient with me everyone lift your hands everyone lift your hands while rounding up everyone lift your hands the spirit of anger shakuto anyone here under the sound of my voice suffering the spirit of anger it has destroyed your relationship it has destroyed everything about your life by the fire of the holy ghost i arrest that spirit right now i arrest the spirit come out of them now come out of them temper anger i come against it help them please for brothers for sisters inside outside overflow one two three and online i command that spirit because now the spirit of impatience i cause you impatience with a man impatience with the woman i command you to give way now the spirit of ingratitude that makes you never to say thank you you always feel more should be done for you i command that spirit to die from your life now [Music] [Applause] [Music] this is what brings peace in marriage if there is anybody alive from any village that has found that nobody will rise maritally i stand here in the name of jesus i command the edge to open over that person i command the edge to open any grandmother any grandfather any necromancer any shrine holder any priesthood that is dying anyone's marriage i cause it in jesus name [Applause] [Music] every lady and every guy that desires marriage this year in the name of jesus christ the son of the living god wherever your husband is or wherever your wife is i stand by this apostolic and prophetic unction i command that connection in the spirit i command that connection in the spirit you may not see wind you may not see rain but i command that connection now and anyone who is ready to settle down but finance is the limitation i cry to my god to arise and surprise you in the name of jesus christ thank you jesus [Music] you

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Id: ytGpZjvmq7k

Length: 289min 27sec (17367 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 17 2021