We're gonna make some Cheetos, and we're gonna fry them, and then, oh god, I blue myself. Hey, welcome to Mythical Kitchen
where dreams become food. Dreams become food. Welcome to Mythical Kitchen
where dreams become food. That was embarrassing,
please don't show them that. All right, so no snack has
taken the world by storm quite like Flamin' Hot
Cheetos, but come here. What if I told you that
in an alternate universe fiery red Cheetos that burn
stomachs, that stain keyboards, that send Lil Xan to the
hospital, never existed? What if I told you that
somewhere out there, there's an icy wasteland where flaming hot becomes
a little bit colder? Yeah, we're making freezing
cold Cheetos. Let's do it. If you're following along at home, we have broken the recipe
down into three easy steps. You can snag the time codes right there. Or we got a full written recipe down in the description below, wow. Or, or, or, or. Sorry, my mind was distracted, 'cause I thought I sounded like a seal. Or you can also listen to our podcast, "A Hot Dog is a Sandwich." The latest episode just dropped yesterday. And you can find that
everywhere you get your podcasts every Wednesday, everywhere,
every time, every day. Not every day. Well you can listen to it every day. I listen to it before I go to sleep. It calms me down, listening
to Nicole's voice. That sounds creepy, sorry. Let's get cooking. All right, so we're gonna start off by making this freezing cold blue powder. I wanna walk you through
the thought process. So this is what we thought we could do. These are pure menthol crystals that on the internet said
they were food grade. And then we looked at the suggested uses, and it says "spas,
beekeeping, arts and crafts," and then says "external use only." But I said, "I'd like
to use them internally and put them inside my body." And then we called up
the company and they said "Please don't put these inside your body. Use them for beekeeping." So, we can't use pure menthol crystals. Maybe we can, but we're not gonna. What we're gonna do instead is we're gonna use a combination of Icebreakers and Altoids. The thought here, right, we wanna get the cool blue flavor of
mintiness into these Cheetos. So I'm gonna take a bunch of mints and I'm just gonna dump
them into our Vitamix. It looks like we're going
Walter White on this and making some sort
of illegal concoction. And we're not. These chips are not yet banned in States, but mayhaps they should be. All right, so we're just gonna dump about $60 worth of mints in here, and we're gonna blend her up. Just gonna take a bunch of blue food dye. This is a classic French recipe that I learned in culinary school. Oh, you must blend the Altuoids. Altuoid, 'cause French. Come on, Annaliese. That's gold. I laughed. Thank you. Got all our blue, gonna dump
in all of our powdered sugar. And then a little bit of cornstarch. I'm gonna add the cornstarch gradually. I'm talking like this is
a real recipe that exists. Anyways, I'm gonna add
the corn starch gradually, and we're gonna keep the couple just in case this doesn't
blend up how I like it, 'cause I want it to be very fine. But even if it's not very fine, I'm also gonna run it
through a tamis in French to try and get any chunks out. But for now let's just rip her up. Make it blue! You're my boy, blue! Ah, hah, I'm inhaling a lot of blue dust. That's a good sign. Okay. So let's just, wow. That is, I think I got
three whole Altoids. And so now we're just gonna
run this through the strainer. Try and get any chunks out. Yeah, yeah, there's a
fair amount of chunks. So right now we're just
gonna pass this through. There's a lot of little gravel in there. And if you see just getting
the nice blue powder. God, this counter's gonna be stained with blue for a long time, sorry. It's like panning for gold. Did you ever pan for gold as a kid? Yeah. Nicole did. That's a California thing. Yeah, take you to your
old Knott's Berry Farm, they make you pan for gold
then eat fried chicken? Uh-huh, we had the same childhood. Yeah. Not fun. All right, so this is
looking nice and powdery. This is a perfect color. This is exactly how I
want the Cheetos to look. Now we're gonna make some Cheetos and we're gonna fry them. And then, oh God, I blue myself. All right, so now we
have to make our Cheetos. Here's the problem is
we're not a giant machine that can provide thousands
of pounds of force enough to actually puff the corn, 'cause that's how Cheetos
are made in the factory. I can try and palm heel strike this vegan bologna log as much as I want, nothing will happen. So we're gonna make Cheetos homemade in like the most low-fi way, the only way we figured out how. So I'm literally covered in
blue. This isn't coming off. So we're gonna take,
this is a log of polenta. You can get it totally
pre-made at the store. It's really fun if you
slice it into little wedges and fry it, but we're gonna take it and we're just gonna
crush it up with our hands into about a half cup of water. And so we're gonna get this kind of into a creamy polenta dough. We're kinda doing this in
the way that you would make like a pate a choux or a churro dough. Just stick your hands right in the hot pot and kinda mash it up. All right, so we are literally just making like plain flavored Cheetos, and then we're gonna get that
into all of our blue powder. My hands are slick with polenta grease. Also don't mix up polenta with placenta. You'll get some weird Amazon orders. Well, wow, what is polenta, you might ask? Basically yellow grits. This is just ground,
course yellow corn meal. You could just try and make a dough completely out of cornstarch, but then it's gonna have this weird kind of like waxy, chalky taste to it. So we're trying to use
this like coarse cornmeal to create a wet dough. What does a torn labrum feel like? So, we're gonna take a couple
of tablespoons of corn starch, we're gonna get that in there. We are gonna be adding an egg
white later once this cools to really give it some structure to- No! I gesticulated too hard! I prematurely gesticulated. So you're gonna spill
the salt on the table and then you're gonna kinda do a little wax on, wax off motion. I think it was a quarter teaspoon before. Now we're rocking like
a sixth of a teaspoon and we're just gonna toss that in there. And then I got a little
bit of leavening agent. So this is just baking powder. That's just gonna give
the Cheetos the rise. Then I'm gonna take this off the heat, stir this up, let it cool down. And then we're gonna
add in that egg white. We want the protein to really give this dough a little bit structure so when we fry it, it holds up. Okay, we gotta let it, let it, I almost started singing
the song from "Frozen," but then we'd get sued
by that smug snowman. You know who you are,
Olaf. Carrot-ass nose. I've never seen the movie, I don't know. He dies, right? All right, so we have our polenta that has come down to room temperature, and I'm just gonna add an egg white to it, 'cause if you add the egg
white to it while it's hot, it's gonna scramble the egg whites. Shut up, spoon. I have a combative relationship
with my cooking equipment. So now we're just gonna
slop this polenta around 'cause we don't wanna whisk. We could just try and
make a real sturdy dough, and believe me, we've tried. We tried a lot of methods. We tried piping and dropping it into the fryer in little lines. The way that we have figured out how is to do it by feeling. It's like hand rolling pasta where you just know if it feels right, and I'll show you what I mean. So we're gonna dump out just a whole lot of corn starch onto this tray. The theory here is we want like a nice, dense core of polenta, and then we wanna get a hefty coating on the outside of corn starch because that's what's gonna give it like that really crispy
coating on the exterior. It's like when you use cornstarch in a batter for fried chicken. At least that is what the operation that we've been assuming under it. So, we're gonna take spoons and just make little tiny dollops. These individual dollops
are going to be our Cheetos. These are gonna be pretty small. Get a couple dollops in there. ♪ Do, do a dollop, do,
do a dollop of Cheetos ♪ Is that some new slogan? You know how your dollop Cheetos? So now we got some dollops. We gotta work in batches
because we're actually gonna hand roll the Cheetos individually and then drop them right from
your hands into the fryer. If you see, this looks
somewhat like a Cheeto and all I'm gonna do is I'm gonna kinda Oscar Robertson finger roll it. No one's... Oscar Robertson? He played for the Bucks
in like the seventies. Who's gonna get that reference? No one! I'm gonna Oscar Robertson kinda finger roll it right into the fryer, and we're gonna try and work in batches, working quickly to try and get these all fried
roughly at the same time. But since this is a lot of
cornmeal and a lot of corn starch with a lot of moisture in there, these are gonna take a while in the fryer, so you can really kinda
take your time here. Yeah. Really make each one
of these into your own Michelangelo's David
without the schmeckel. Well, they're kinda schmeckels. This is not the first
time we made Cheetos. We did make Cheetos one time before, and I don't know what happened. What do you think happened? 'Cause like we almost
burned down the kitchen. Like we dropped the Cheetos in the fryer and they literally started exploding. It sounded like mortar
shells firing around us. And Nicole goes, "Help, help, I need someone big and
strong to come help!" But I'm like, "I'll
come help you, Nicole." And then I just like
threw a splatter guard, unplugged the fryer, and ran away 'cause I also run from the face of danger. All right, so are Cheetos are frying, they are looking nice and crispy. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna
take them out of the fryer. I'm gonna try and drain
the oil as much as possible but we still want a
fair amount of wetness, which is the essence of moisture, which is the essence of
beauty as you all know. And then we're just gonna get them right into our blue powder. And then now you're gonna
go in with your hands and you're just gonna toss these around, and you should get perfectly
blue coated Cheetos. You do want them to sit
in there a little bit because some of the coating's really gonna get absorbed by the oil. These are wet with oil. We should probably let them cool down before we toss them next time. Don't make the mistakes that we did. But look at these. Looks like little cat turds covered in a chemical cleaning agent
that rich people can afford to make their house smell better. You know what I mean? All right, so we got our
freezing cold Cheetos. We're gonna let these set up on our rack. We want them to cool to room temperature. And then all we got
left to do is to eat it? Yeah, we'll eat them. All right, we got all
of our Cheetos coated. Look at how, I don't know if I
should say the word gorgeous, but they certainly are something. This is ludicrous. I'm gonna give it a try. Despite how imperfect our method was, they're absolutely perfect. I mean, they stain your fingers blue just like Flamin' Hot Cheetos
stain your fingers red. I should probably wash that off. And you're getting hit with
this just huge minty blast. Is it pleasant? No, not at all. These are garbage, what a terrible idea. I think it's hilarious though. The mint with the corn is
not a great combination. That said, it doesn't matter what I think. My opinions are all hot garbage. I hope you've listened to the podcast. You can hear all my hot
garbage opinions there. You know, it matters what
our sound guy Chris thinks. Sound guy Chris. Oh hey, Josh, good to see you. All right Chris, spork cam coming in. I'm going right into the bag. Gonna rummage around. How are you supposed to spork a Cheeto? Why did we think this was a good idea? I'm gonna get you a little nugget. All right, Chris. All right, I'm ready. Airplane coming in the hanger. Are my teeth that blue,
are my teeth that blue? It really is just like you just deep fried like an Icebreaker. That's pretty much what we did. But like you're just
crunching it, but it's, I mean, it's a more
satisfying crunch, you know? And that's kinda nice. I'm like wondering, you
think it's possible, will it remove the bags
underneath my eyes, you know? Don't do that, oh god, go to the hospital. Well, you were talking
about it's a spa earlier. I mean, this is the
kinda same thing, right? And for beekeeping. Yeah, beekeeping. I guess if you got any bees at home, grab some menthol crystals,
make some freezing cold Cheetos. Chris, thank you so much for scarring your body
and your mouth for us, and thank you so much for
stopping by the Mythical Kitchen. We got new episodes
out for you every week. We got new episodes of our podcast, "A Hot Dog is a Sandwich,"
out every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts. Hit us up on Instagram at @mythicalkitchen with pictures of your Mythical dishes under hashtag #dreamsbecomefood. I'm gonna blue myself again. It's so offensive. You can cook up your own feast while wearing the Mythical Kitchen apron. Available now at mythical.com.
