Four Brothers with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (The Story of a Blended Family)

what's it like to be you jaylen this is complicated though tonight sometimes I want to be poor you got here Jalen didn't want to talk to you he was walking around house saying that he don't have no disability you know I have no disability how do you feel as you sit together like are you okay like we've never had this in my life before like never ever it's great to just sit but can be looking at to you behind asking us questions and great food great great I like it does it feel nice to have somebody listening to your thoughts and your concerns yes what are your diagnosis Carla yeah Michael said to me knuckles definitely don't recall what our Jalen's diagnosis pretty much the same as the rest this microcephaly fetal alcohol syndrome ADHD what does it like to have a condition that's invisible and people can't see it sweetheart don't lie to me I won't see it because you're gonna make me feel bad and stuff like that no no no I want to be in my bed crying because I - listen to me have you ever been in your bed crying because of something someone said to you yeah it may be it may be Crowley we want to hurt him so bad but I did because I know I know I'm gonna make a change I know I'm gonna be who I'm gonna be huh no one would be a better person who I know people would try to cheat me different but I just don't let him cuz I mean you basically the same is this I got a condition you don't wait he's still the same what's it like to have a brother who has the same diagnosis as you it's kind of good it's kind of good but it's kind of not at the same time like Oh I don't have to be a good person you know I want us to not people talk about us people know that does that mean you think that having a disability makes you a bad person I mean no no it's like I just don't want to get talking I talk about saying I can't read or Sun I can't do this and I can't do that he understand more or get anybody understand because he'd been with me all my life so he understands what does he understand he understand that I love football more you understand what I'm going through you know the pain you know everything you know is the fact that you have microcephaly a good thing or a bad thing um it's both good and bad I feel like it's good cuz like even though my brain is small I still can get what I want and it's a bad cuz my brain is small you know already smile do you remember when your parents told you about it for the first time yeah what did you think I was out of this painting light so I mean brings wrong but I'm gonna get over this I'm overcoming what's it like to be a blended family um yeah it's a world man emotions it it's taking an unlimited amount of days and nights and hours of getting to know each and every person and meaning each and every person at their level how would you describe Ray Ray well he's unique what are ray Reddy's diagnosis pretty much autism fetal alcohol syndrome and I would just have to say that in microcephaly as well how often do you talk to your brother every day what do you say to him I say it was sorry but she they're not to know does he answer II did say what I see just copy what there's not really a back-and-forth dollar with him so like if I say you know hey Charles it's uh you know so that's pretty much it why is it important to talk to your brother and bond with him [Music] Ray Ray is loving I would say that he's always waiting to give me a kiss and always wait and give me a fist pumps so he brings me a loving joy you did like sometime he made me laugh like it did me funny sometime sometime what does he do to make you laugh light light here it's not here say something all right well I like it sometimes I can't understand it nothing very what you're talking about my edges be fine and then here star laughing yeah sometimes we have five with the disability and it might not all be physical but struggling in our home and reaching out for help and getting doors closed because the discrimination between disabilities it's actually kind of sickening it's kind of like your disability isn't as important as someone else's disability because we can't see it Kevon what does it like to be you I'm a good person what are key bonds diagnosis well microcephaly fetal alcohol syndrome he has a learning disability and ADHD and the speech impediment yeah yes speech are you happy to tell people about your disabilities well not really but they won an act of the I tell them is it okay if I ask you questions about fetal alcohol syndrome sure how many of your children are diagnosed with FAS oh four oh I in my life so when she came in it's only something that that no one else did I muttered like no one else showed me so I really appreciate that it's kind of new for me because you know their biological mom was your kind of in and out of their lives she was never stable so there was no stability for it's a lover figure in their lives my mother always goes she always been the host of I so my dad was always a truth so he never know what's going on in the house because he was growing on top so she always drank and fun and she did that so it really really showed me something that when I got older I know I'll be I'm gonna be I'm gonna be a better person but what does it like to see the impact that that had on your boys believe it or not this is hard I don't want to use the term normal you know because everybody is unique but you have to parent you just want your kids to not behave strong what is your biggest difficulty in life reading mouths but I've seen people discriminate against my children who could kind of tell that they're a little behind it won't give them their correct change back I had to go to the store and tell them hey you know this isn't right my child might not be that well with math but I am and you need to correct his change when somebody meets you for the first time what do you hope they think hope they do something good about me nothing bad do you ever feel like other people are judging you sometimes I feel like it where I disent know it how can you sense it like like how people like when people look like you can tell by the faces fish like they looks like he's trying to tell you this look like I know he China dirt like good I can tell by your face like that's this haha fear I have been that parent that has tried to shelter them but they're getting older and I can't anymore is that something that weighs on you every day like Howard yes yes every day every day I'm almost like afraid to even like she says let them go to the store because if I send them for you know a soda and I give them a dollar and the person you know don't give them the correct change then I have to go up there and or she has to go up there say hey you know and then that makes still you know that person may consider their over that child just stupid you know and it's not that they're stupid you know it's just just they didn't understand Warren what does it like to be you he is being vertical I understand if you had to introduce yourself to the world what would you say I would say Orin is is considered our bonus child you know he grew up with my kids when we lived in a you know different neighborhood so he's kind of been a part of her since girl I guess he was like a little 11 you know so when we moved here he just kind of transitioned with us what's it like to have the opportunity to share your thoughts what was it like to come into this family it's worried a man of few words um I will say it depends on the situation I think that Orin is trying to control his emotions I think talking about his family situation things like that tend to give him emotional and I think he's just trying to control it what in your life makes you the happiest being alive are you grateful for your parents and family yes why are you grateful [Music] yeah of course I have the four boys well five including Warren and she brought the daughter into the marriage what are your brothers like why are they annoying you I appreciate your honesty I notice you just laugh and your brother said that's messed up so yeah they annoy you but do you love them why do you love them okay does the diagnosis of Bell's palsy and unspecified learning disability Warren doesn't perform on grade level he struggles in reading math you know the normal subjects if you had one wish what would it be but anybody still alive it's important for me to let him know that he is a part of this family regardless of what you know and I think a lot of times you know some people may say you know well he's not our child and that may affect him not not us but you know outside people and it hurts do you feel positive or negative why do you feel positive when you hear your parents describe their love for you growing up I grew up in foster care and is out of foster care and I where I found love in different places but mainly I was raised on survival so coming into this relationship I was used to people who had independent minds how do you feel as you said besides her son I feel good you know I'm glad it's graduating you know now I did sign him up to where he'll you know stay in school and to use like 22 you know just to keep something positive for young so the adjustment to blending our families was me thinking that because they were already teenagers that I it would be easier um thinking that hey they you know some of this stuff they should already know and I won't have no issue with it but that's not what it was what's it like to have ADHD I mean I feel like aviation these the good bankers and sports cuz I can move around a lot and I can have so much energy does it create any difficulties in the classroom um sometimes like I like I just really you know Sam and I can't stay see you guys is like hey I can go to the bath but I got that down tell me about your parents my prayers my old like that is very loving I love and he carefully my mom she's a sports model and honest and she'd be in the background when we look face together and she loved me too you know me well both of them together it is like additional love you know Sam I feel it all the time it's family important to you yes the most important thing in a relative why is family important because they love me and they care for me and when I'm under the bus they gonna be there to stick up for me what's the best thing about your parents the best thing the best thing is they love like that's the best thing dad he he he'd been hit like he banged up all my life and I will never change oh my lord he will never change I'll him when she came in I felt like I love like someone loves me football that's my favorite thing that's my favorite thing to just just work out all day release my pain is it okay if I ask you questions about that pain yeah what is it what causes it it's cause really get like angry mad or want to fight all the time wanna go just beat people up something like that yeah all right what people say like mean things to me or when they say you're not gonna do you're not gonna be better you're not gonna make it or it make me mad and make me want to hurt you like fight you or gonna do something to you deep down do you just want people to believe in you yeah yeah believe me I know I've said through quite a few IEP meetings and um have we gotten into quite a few let's say debates with teachers and coaches who feel like my doesn't have a future feels like you know what kind of job are they gonna have what in this world makes you the happiest seeing other people do something like I've got a job or they plan to split any doing something what they say there should be more resources you know and especially over here in our community you know and it's unfortunate that if father was someone the south side are out towards the beaches that I will probably have all kind of Hill but here in in the black community and on the north side and the low-income areas it's just not really not now yeah you know it's not a lot of help we pretty much have to do it ourselves what are you much proud of yourself for being a good person and being a good friends of the people what's your favorite thing about your parents well my favorite thing about my parents is they work they work so hard they keep this household and to keep us up I love my family I've lived in Formica you think you feel that I could least be done with my family attended in come to my phone won't let that happen yes that's in my heart I am truly truly afraid of once they turn 18 because I know you know there's guardianship but I don't want to take their rights away from them I want them to be independent you know but I'm afraid that once they're a team and if they get involved with you know the law or something then I can't step in for them you know I can't go into an interview right or you know or something and and you know they will be mistreated and the police won't understand that there's a disability you know because their job is just to close cases you know so that's why we try to show them different movies and different scenarios to where okay you know just be be alert what's your favorite thing about yourself my favorite thing about myself it's um just like I like everything about myself is this a one-finger thing like like everything I love everything about myself if you ask them do they understand their rights they will say yes but they don't you know when it when you ask them to sign a paper you know they will sign that paper because they respect authority but they can't read do you always smile that big when your brothers buy you why why I want somebody that I know I saw something I notice it about me like I feel like more comfortable if somebody is meeting one of your boys for the first time what would you want them to know I want them to know how important they are you know how important they are to me up there how important they are to society as a whole you know that's pretty much it that they are human that they and that they have you know a personality and they should be able to express themselves how do you feel when people compliment you I feel good I feel good it made me in my side does that happen often sometimes sometimes not all the time okay and he also has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder so that's different from the rest phone change Oh only me to be on scholarship I'll get a scholarship or when I want my dreams to be not gonna get it how would you describe oppositional defiance disorder well for myself I would say as a teenager I was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder it means that we're both strong enough to understand whatever the action is that we're doing and where we choose to be defining or we choose to decide that we're gonna do something different even though we know you know it's wrong or it might even world or things like that if you had one wish what would it be change my life change make it make it to the NFL like my brother want me to do you want me to be willing to be with him so that's what I'm gonna do now I want to change my life change my life for him for them made me go to the NFL do what I wanna do in just complicated buddy sometimes I want to listen but sometimes I don't like is that what oh D D is oh yeah like I wanted chilling in and beat and be a good and be me and this chill oh I know how that is blaming I don't know so sometimes you feel frustrated yeah like a lot if somebody wants to be your friend what should they did they say they said help me out or you should not talk about me or they you should tell me to think stay out speech you need to be working out some water fight yeah that's what I need funny hearing a lot of people say you know oh Vanessa yo so much potential I've heard that all my life throughout foster care but learning that a lot of people say that but nobody shows you what to do with that potential they just tell you happy I see great things but that needs to be molded what is your biggest goal for the future I'm going to the mid why that I did it is my passion how it is I didn't want it like something I wanted to do and put them oh yeah like I said moment she came from all need one is brave to me that's how I've described Warren because he goes through a lot and he understands what he's going through and has a goal and I think it's you know brave of him to still be here if somebody wants to communicate to you but they want to be your friend what should they say they said this is you look a person and I think you'll do good things of life Kevon what's it like to have somebody by your side people didn't you so much it feels good I curse me to do something I read I read the one to do and when people say that they don't or they won't turn on me oh yeah he won't stop me not what's your biggest fear my biggest fear [Music] I guess nice to see you really that's my biggest fear nice to see you any other thing why do you fear that okay like if I don't succeed for like a few the box time like you're putting me under so they're guessing you so everybody look at me I have them look at me instead of looking at me but Lord when somebody finishes this interview and goes on about their day what's the number one thing you want them to remember from it the number one thing I want them to remember is that we're all equal that we all come from different walks of life and we all have some type of struggle and I would like her people just take away from this that you know we're not a threat we're a loving family yes we have five sons that might look up our but they're there they're loving and we're taking care of them and they're taking care of us what's the most important thing for the world to understand about YouTube that we gonna make it right we gonna make it that's all that was around we're gonna be a foot you gonna we gonna meet to the enough here you go yeah you don't we go help our people out we don't help the people out mom without dad about family out

Channel: Special Books by Special Kids

Views: 2,579,313

Keywords: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Microcephaly, SBSK, Chris Ulmer

Id: _HlQ_lj70qc

Length: 25min 29sec (1529 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/zfreakazoidz]

So great seeing everyone as one big family regardless of if adopted or not and despite disabilities. Hidden disabilities are had to have but never let anyone get you down. People who pick on you do so because they are just unhappy people trying to make you unhappy too.

[u/poolpartyjess]

This family is SO cool and amazing!!!!! Ray Ray in his cap and gown..made me smile from ear to ear. They are all so sweet. I hope to have a family of my own soon and it would be a dream to feel the amount of love they must all feel.

[u/Cyber9187]

This was a very touching video. Glad to see such a loving mother as her to raise these children as her own.

Not entirely related, but I noticed that comments for the Youtube video were turned on. Was there any reason that lets this one have it on while the others have it turned off?

[u/jzieber]

I absolutely loved this interview. These boys are so pure and so down to earth. They are 100% genuine. Mom and Dad, you guys are both awesome. You are raising some beautiful and powerful children. So much love from Maine.

[u/cattacocoa]

These kids and parents are all so amazing. I loved getting to know them. I would love to donate if they have a GoFundMe. I’m not sure how their social supports are in the U.S. (especially since the family mentioned due to their community and being Black, they don’t get enough support)

[u/Baudilaire]

I loved this episode.

[u/Ohitsthatguyagain]

I couldn’t stop smiling anytime Charles was on screen. Love this family

[u/nospacesallowedsrsly]

This video got to me. Big respect goes to dad for holding it down for his boys and big respect to moms for having so much love to give and to the both of you for looking out for their future. Together you've helped those boys develop the collective mindset of 'I'm going to succeed no matter what' and it's so touching to see. I love the confidence and positivity they exude, especially when sitting together. Warren, some things are hard to talk about and I think you managed that well. Over time it will get easier but for now just keep doing what you're doing. Real inspiring, all of you. I wish the best for each and every one of you.

[u/anonymsultan]

The comments are back?