A Toddler with Shaken Baby Syndrome (And Mom with PTSD)

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I feel like we should raise some money for her. If there is one sad part about being disabled in America, it's our healthcare sucks in terms of making things affordable. Having an adorable child like this and possibly facing future issues means possible debt. My parents had over 80k in debt from me being disabled. And that's after insurance paid 90%. They had to file bankruptcy.

👍︎︎ 6 👤︎︎ u/zfreakazoidz 📅︎︎ Feb 11 2022 🗫︎ replies

sounds like the baby's father probably caused the injury... hope he did some time for this

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/hotheadnchickn 📅︎︎ Feb 19 2022 🗫︎ replies
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- I want the world to know that this little bundle of joy is a miracle. She was shaken at three months old. She is strong, very stubborn. - Cheese - [Chris] Cheese? Hey Hello! I'm glad we're friends. - Aw, she gave you a kiss. - [Chris] I know, it was really sweet. We're besties back here. - Right? - She likes you. - Hi. - [Chris] Hi - You gave him a kiss? - [Chris] We're just chilling - Up - [Chris] You wanna go up? Here. I'll turn this around so you can see yourself. - Wahoo. Get some good lighting. Hey! Hey! - Mommy. - Look at us. The two besties. - Are we asking your mom questions? - Cheese! - Cheese! - Usually she's very shy and doesn't really like talking to men. She's very standoffish even with my brother. - Let's ask your mom a question. How... - [Mom] Ew - Did you just burp in my face? - [Mom] Ew - Here's the question. How amazing is Everleigh? - [Mom] She is the most amazing baby I've ever met. - You're amazing! - [Mom] She is sweet. She is fun. - You say hi to everybody? - [Mom] She is sweet. She is kind. She is smart. - Woo! Oh, ah! Oh, ah! Oh, ah! - [Mom] Can you say cheese, Everleigh? - Cheese! Oh, that's a nice cheese smile. - Hi, hi. - [Mom] Hi, hi. - Hi everybody. - [Mom] Say hi guys. - Bye bye. - Bye bye. - [Mom] Say hi guys. - Hello. Bye bye. - [Mom] Can you play peek-a-boo? - Hello. Bye bye. Hello! Bye bye! Hello! Bye bye! Hello! Bye bye! Oh you got some for me? Oh, you're playing peek-a-boo. That was funny! You did a really good job. Here why don't we do this and we can all sit together and be friends. - Do you wanna be friends? - I'm so glad we're all friends. - Come here. - We're awesome friends. - Hi - Hey! Thank you for being my friend. - Come here. - We're good friends. Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends. Tell me about Everleigh. - Everleigh, she is almost two years of age. She likes to go to school. She likes to... - School's awesome. - Boss mommy around. She's my boss. - What is shaken baby syndrome? - Shaken baby syndrome is when a caregiver forcibly shakes a baby back and forth. A lot of times it's when a caregiver gets frustrated with the small child and unintentionally does it and when they realize it it's too late. So shaken baby syndrome is a traumatic brain injury that is caused by a caregiver. That could be mom, dad, a babysitter, aunt, uncle anybody who care gives of a small child. - When did you first realize that she was experiencing symptoms of shaken baby syndrome? - It didn't really hit me until they told me that it was shaken baby. I knew that there was something wrong but I couldn't figure out what it was. She was vomiting, she was... - Hey - She wasn't eating. She wasn't sleeping. She wouldn't take a nap. She didn't wanna be held but she also didn't want to be alone either. She just really... Hi. Hi Everleigh. Hi. She just didn't want to be alone but she didn't wanna be touched either. (Laughing) What are you doing? - [Chris] I'm gonna show people what she's doing. This is really cute. She's treating my tripod like an obstacle course. So if this is a shaky interview, I don't care 'cause this is awesome and people can deal with it. What is the most difficult thing about going through the process of having a child diagnosed with shaken baby syndrome? - It's, the hardest part for me is knowing that I wasn't there to protect her like I should have been. That I wasn't there to save her from that person who was supposed to love and protect her as well. They discharged us at 6 and they called us at 8:00 AM and left a voicemail 'cause we were asleep. Hey! You wanna come to mama? - Do you want mommy? - No. - Up. - Nope. She wants you. She... - I'm happy we're friends. - And so when they called us, we rushed back there and they put her back in more scanning and imaging and nobody was really telling me anything. This was before they actually gave me a diagnosis. - So you didn't know that they were testing her for shaken baby syndrome? - Yeah, they didn't tell me. Which now I can see why they didn't tell me in case I was the perpetrator. So after they did a couple CAT scans and MRIs they found there was a couple, two to three millimeter brain bleed. Millimeter brain bleeds. They also said there was blood behind the eyes as well which is common with shaken baby. Before we were discharged the CPS worker told me that she's not coming home with me. And it's like, what are you talking about? Why isn't she coming home with me? And they told me that they have a safety plan and she was placed with my sister, Rachel who kept her for two weeks. Every day I am learning to deal with what happened to her and how to make it right. - [Chris] Is there guilt attached? - Oh yeah, definitely. I definitely feel guilty that it happened and I feel bad that the person who was supposed to love and protect her didn't and I wasn't there either to love and protect her from that incident. - Hey. Hey. She's really sweet. - Yeah she is. She's a very sweet girl. - And since the person who did it was a male, is she typically trusting of males? - No. No. She's very shy when it comes to men. She sometimes gets scared of men especially men with darker hair. But the only man that, besides you now, I guess, is she's comfortable with is... - We're besties. We're besties. - Her Papaw - Like she'll do this with her Papaw. She'll just sit on his lap talk to him, play with him. - Has she watched our videos before or something? - I don't know. - That might be why she... - Maybe. 'Cause I watched you guys' videos all the time. Like even before reaching out and everything, I just like - It might be that she heard you watching so my voice is familiar. - Maybe. I watched it with, I watched your videos when I was pregnant with her too. - Aw, well I've known you before you were born. That's why you're loving to me, you know my voice. - Yeah. - That's so sweet. - Right? - That's so cool. - Cheese. - I always think back as to what happened no matter what she does. I always think is this normal? Is that how it's supposed to be? What if she's sick because of her condition or what if she's falling because toddlers are very clutsy. So they fall a lot and I always worry like, what if she's hurt her head? Or what if she's done this? So because she's still developing it's very, I always worry like what if something's wrong. And I don't know if that's just the paranoid me or the traumatized me. - Hey. Aww. - Aww. - Is there any way to know how shaken baby syndrome will impact her future? - Um no, honestly, any, it can change. It can change after puberty. There's some cases of shaken baby syndrome where kids do change after puberty and it affects them in a different way where they have more behaviors. They are violent and they don't mean to be but it happens. The things they said to watch out for her as she grows is behaviors. When she gets older she could have an intellectual disability where it makes it harder to learn in like school settings. It's just different for all kids. Some kids, you know, right off the bat they have a disability 'cause of what happened. Some develop later in life. - Papaw. Papaw. Papaw. - I'm not Papa, I'm Chris. - Where's Papaw? Hi mommy. - Hi. - Where's Papaw? - Papaws at home. - Do I remind you of your Papaw cause I'm a man. - Yeah Papaw. - I've spoken to different parents, you know, foster parents, parents just anybody who has been in this kind of thing and it's all different. There's some babies who can talk and there's some babies who can walk. Or they're, have cerebral palsy. It's all different. - [Chris] You're my buddy. - So it's - How do you cope with that uncertainty? - I just try to take it day by day because if I let it affect me I will get back at that low, low point that I was at. Everleigh where's your nose? - Nose - [Mom] Where's your eyes. - Eyes - [Mom] No, your eyes. - (indistinct baby chatter) - [Mom] Eyes, - Eyes - [Mom] Eyes. - Eyes. Eyes. Ooh, let me get ya. Eyes see - Baby. - Eyes see. - Oh, she wants to play rock-a-bye-baby. - How do we play that? - [Mom] (sings) Rock a bye baby - (sings) Rock-a-bye-baby That Smile. - I have to get counseling because it really affected me greatly. - [Man] Have you been diagnosed with PTSD? - Yes. Yeah. - [Chris] What's PTSD like? - It's very hard. There's a lot of things that will bring back a memory and it's like, you just get stuck. She was even terrified of the me, which was like... - And that's the opposite of her typical behavior? - Yeah, right. Like usually it's mommy, mommy, mommy. - How could you tell she was terrified of you? - Like she just froze. Like she was just like, she started screaming and she just froze. Like it was this cry I never heard. Like she was scared of something and I was holding her like this, comforting her trying to give her a hug and she just kept like pushing, pushing, pushing and she didn't want anything to do with me. - What is it like a flashback? Like do you get stuck in just replay memories and like it's like you're back there again? - Yeah and you lose track of time. Like even just doing something small, like doing the dishes. Just remembering something, remembering a smell, a memory, anything and I just, I lose track of time and I kinda just don't remember what I was doing. - [Chris] Through therapy have you learned coping mechanisms? - Yeah. So I never fully processed what happened to her and I never fully processed what happened to me either. So learning to reprocess all this information is very hard. It's like - [Chris] Was it like going through it the first time? - Yeah - [Chris] Because you didn't go through it, you just kinda checked out when it actually happened? - And I actually checked out at the hospital when they diagnosed her. As soon as they said it's shaken baby, I just mentally checked out. Like I just shut down. And I remember my mom saying, why aren't you, you know, holding her? Why aren't you doing this? And I was just like, I can't. I physically couldn't get out of the chair. Like I just didn't know what to do. - Rock-a-bye-baby! - [Mom] She wants to play rock-a-bye-baby - (singing) Rock-a-bye-baby on the tree top. Dun-dun-dun. So... That smile is priceless. When you have a flashback, are you able to realize that you are having that flash back and ground yourself and bring yourself back to the present moment? - Yes. It's, sometimes it's - [Chris] How do you do that? - I just kinda think and do like the tips and tricks that my counselor has given me, you know, like - [Chris] Can you share a few? - Yeah. So some of the things that I do is I focus on something like I grab a baby doll. I know it's real. I know I'm here. I'm right here. Or I sing a song in my head or I say I do something that gets me out of that memory. - Do you wanna play rock-a-bye? Rock-a-bye-baby on a treetop. We're having fun and we're never gonna stop. Aw (laughing) - [Mom] It's an exercise. She loves it. - Look at that smile. - Baby. - It can happen just like that. And it's completely preventable, completely. But there needs to be more education on it. There needs to be more, you know, before you're even allowed out of the hospital, you should take a lesson on it because babies are frustrating, man. She was colic. She was, she never slept. She still doesn't sleep. But she just, uh oh. - [Everleigh] Uh oh. - Toddlers and babies are very frustrating they really are. And they push limits. They test limits. - [Everleigh] Help. Mommy. - Yeah, mommy help. Yeah. She loves this table. - [Mom] Where's your toesies? - You have toesies? I have some toesies. Oh, you put it up your toes. - Rock-a-bye-baby - You love rock-a... Does she love rock-a-bye-baby? - [Mom] She'll do it all night if you let her. - Why do you think she loves rock-a-bye-baby? - I think it's sensory thing. She likes to spin. - Oh, you're crying 'cause you wanna play rock-a-bye-baby. So you said that she doesn't trust a lot of people because of her trauma. When she trusts people does she really trust them? - [Mom] Oh yeah. And she doesn't want you to leave. When you leave she'll cry. - We're having so much fun. - [Mom] She, when she makes a friend, she does not, she wants that friend with them at all point. - Rock-a-bye-baby. - Rock-a-bye-baby on a treetop. You share that babies are frustrating because it's important for parents to learn coping mechanisms so they don't shake a baby, right? - Exactly and... What honey? - Mommy - Yeah. Oh, okay. Babies are frustrating. They cry and there's a communication barrier even when they're toddlers. There's a lot of things that she fussing about and I don't know what she wants. What honey? It's okay to sit that baby down in a safe place and walk away. And it's okay to reach out for help. Always reach out for help. You don't wanna do something and it be too late. That's one thing I want, I tell every new parent or any parent that has a baby. It's okay to walk away. It's okay to be frustrated with that, you know, small human and you're not understanding what to do anymore 'cause you've tried everything. But just don't handle them with anger. - I am just blown away that she's acting like she knows me and we're good friends - [Mom] Right? - Yeah. - [Mom] Usually anytime anybody comes in the house that she doesn't know, she gets like, "I don't know you." I had one girl I've known since high school come over and watch her and she acted like she did not know this girl. She wouldn't want anything to do with this girl. And it was a girl so it was like, what? You're usually not like this, what are you talking about? But she likes you. - We're friends. - Are you his new friend? - Are we friends? Are you rocking? You want me to rock? - A-bye-baby. - Rock-a Rock-a Bye-baby on a tree top - Mommy. - [Chris] What's your biggest hope for Everleigh's future? - I hope she grows up to be very, still to be very kind and you know, I want her to know that no matter what, that I will always love her. And even when she gets older and she asks about her story I want her to know that no matter what I'm always gonna be here and that she can be whoever she wants to be. I'll always be here for her, always. I love her no matter what. She's the best part of me. She's wanting somebody to tickle her. You want a tickle tickle tickle tickle? (laughing) - [Chris] What's it like for you to know she's a happy baby? - I feel so... It fills me with so much happiness to know that she's happy and that she's silly. She's literally my best friend like, I love her to death. - (sings) Rock-a-bye-baby on a tree top. This is so much fun and we'll never stop. Rock-a-bye-baby - I'm a baby!
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Channel: Special Books by Special Kids
Views: 2,758,327
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Id: OCT5WsYaZOA
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Length: 17min 53sec (1073 seconds)
Published: Thu Feb 10 2022
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